But For Real

So… your partner brings up opening the relationship. 👀And you’re trying to be thoughtful, open-minded, maybe even a little curious…but there’s also this voice in the background like:“Wait… do I actually want this?” 🫠In this episode of But For Real, we’re sitting down with therapist Em Mortenson to get into the real conversation around polyamory and ethical non-monogamy—beyond the labels, beyond the hot takes, and into what this actually looks and feels like in real life.Because yeah, on paper?It can sound freeing. Honest. Even aligned. ✨But in practice?It can bring up jealousy, fear, uncertainty—and a whole lot of questions about where your “yes” is actually coming from.We’re talking about what happens when a partner introduces this idea, how to navigate the in-between space of not knowing yet, and why this isn’t something you have to rush to figure out overnight.And we keep coming back to this:It’s one thing to understand something intellectually…and another to feel ready for it in your body.So if you’ve ever found yourself wondering:“Am I actually into this… or am I trying to be okay with it?”“Is jealousy a red flag—or just part of the process?”“How do I explore this without losing myself?”…yeah. This one’s for you. 💬From there, we unpack: How to tell if you’re genuinely interested in polyamory—or just trying to be “chill”Why jealousy is a normal part of ethical non-monogamy (and what to do with it)The difference between curiosity, pressure, and people-pleasing in relationshipsWhat polyamory and open relationships actually look like in real lifeWhy boundaries are essential—and constantly evolving—in non-monogamyCommon mistakes couples make when opening a relationshipHow fear of losing your partner can shape your decisionsWhy this isn’t a one-time “yes or no” decision—but an ongoing conversationWe talk about:00:00 – Welcome back to But For Real00:50 – Meet Em Mortenson (and the chaotic cat story 🐱)03:20 – Tiny pockets of joy when everything feels heavy05:50 – “My partner wants to open our relationship…” 👀07:10 – Am I open-minded… or just scared to lose them?09:00 – Polyamory vs monogamy: what are we actually talking about?12:30 – Why people jump into this too fast ⚠️15:30 – The biggest misconception about polyamory19:00 – Let’s talk about jealousy (because yeah… it’s coming)22:30 – Is jealousy a dealbreaker—or part of it?26:00 – What healthy polyamory can actually look like30:30 – Boundaries, communication, and real-life dynamics35:30 – When this goes wrong (and why it does)41:30 – Polyamory discourse, TikTok, and moral superiority 🙃47:30 – So… how do you know if this is right for you?Connect with Us:Submit a story for The Lore segmentSubmit a request for advice for our Step Into My office segmentReach out: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

What if the thing you’ve been calling “being rude”… is actually just having a boundary?Yeah. Let’s talk about it.Because somewhere along the way—especially for women, people-pleasers, and anyone raised to prioritize politeness over honesty—boundaries got branded as selfish, cold, or straight-up b*tchy.And honestly? That narrative is doing damage.In this episode of But For Real, we’re doing a full, unfiltered deep dive into boundaries—what they actually are, why they feel so uncomfortable, and how your relationship with them changes as you grow up (or burn out).We’re talking about the subtle ways we’ve been conditioned to shrink, overextend, and contort ourselves to keep the peace… and the moment you realize: “Wait… I actually can’t keep living like this.”We get into the real-life evolution of boundaries—from being overly accommodating and “nice” to realizing that clarity is not cruelty.And yes, we’re saying the quiet part out loud:Not everyone who sets a boundary is a b*tch… …but also? You might have to tolerate being perceived that way anyway.Cool cool cool. 🫠Because boundaries aren’t just personal.They’re relational. Cultural. Political. Survival.So if you’ve ever wondered:“Am I being too much?”“Why does setting boundaries make me feel like I’m doing something wrong?”“How do I stop people-pleasing without becoming an asshole?”…yeah. This one’s for you.Let’s roll the tape.From there, we unpack: Why boundaries are often mistaken for being rude or “difficult”How people-pleasing and politeness culture shape your ability to set limitsThe difference between being a b*tch vs. having a boundaryWhy your relationship with boundaries changes over timeHow burnout and survival instincts force boundary growthThe hidden cost of over-accommodating yourself in relationshipsWhy clarity is actually kinder than silent resentmentHow cultural expectations (especially for women) distort boundary-settingWhat healthy boundaries actually sound like in real lifeWhy being misunderstood is sometimes part of doing it right We talk about:00:00 – Welcome to But For Real01:00 – Why we needed a boundaries deep dive02:00 – People-pleasing, politeness & cultural conditioning03:00 – “Am I rude… or do I just have boundaries?”04:00 – Why boundaries feel uncomfortable (especially for women)05:00 – Boundaries as survival, not just self-growth06:00 – Tea & Crumpets: Olympics, joy, and elite performance08:30 – What high performers teach us about boundaries10:00+ – The real conversation begins: boundaries, identity & growthResources Mentioned:Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (US): Call or text 988Find international support: https://www.findahelpline.comreasonstostay.co Connect with Us:Submit a story for The Lore segmentSubmit a request for advice for our Step Into My office segmentReach out: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

We need to talk about suicide… like actually talk about it.Not in the polished, clinical, tip-list way. Not in the fear-based, “don’t say the wrong thing” way. But in the real, messy, human way that most of us have experienced—whether personally or through someone we love.Because here’s the truth: suicide is way more common, complex, and misunderstood than we’re comfortable admitting. And the way we talk about it? Often makes it harder—not easier—for people to feel seen, supported, or safe enough to open up.In this episode of But For Real, we’re going there.We’re talking about suicidal ideation (including the kind that doesn’t mean you actually want to die), the difference between passive and active thoughts, and why so many people feel ashamed of experiences that are actually more common than we think.We’re also unpacking the tension between holding the weight of this topic and still making space for humanity, humor, and connection—because healing doesn’t only happen in sterile silence.And yes… we’re bringing both the heavy and the real.We’re asking:Why is suicide still so stigmatized—even in mental health spaces?What actually counts as suicidal ideation?Is it “normal” to have passive thoughts about not wanting to exist?Why does shame keep people stuck in silence?And how do we talk about this in a way that actually helps?Because here’s the thing:Not every suicidal thought means someone wants to die.But every experience of suffering deserves to be taken seriously.So whether this topic touches your life directly or indirectly… we’re really glad you’re here.From there, we unpack: What suicidal ideation actually is (and what it’s not)The difference between passive vs. active suicidal thoughtsWhy passive SI can be more common—and human—than you thinkHow shame and stigma keep people from talking about their experienceWhy humor can be a legitimate coping skill, not avoidanceHow therapists actually think about and approach suicideWhy overly clinical conversations can feel disconnected—and what works betterHow to support yourself or someone else without defaulting to panic or silenceThe role of lived experience in shaping mental health workWe talk about:00:00 – Why this topic matters01:00 – Can we talk about suicide and still be human?02:30 – Humor as a coping skill (yes, really)03:00 – Content warning + how to take care of yourself while listening04:00 – Personal connections to suicide and why this work matters05:30 – Passive suicidal ideation: what it actually means06:00 – Tea & Crumpets: existential YouTube rabbit holes08:30 – The psychology of death, meaning, and “last meal” thinking09:00 – A movie that explores the afterlife—and what happens next10:00+ – The deeper conversation begins (suicide, stigma, and nuance)Resources Mentioned:Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (US): Call or text 988Find international support: https://www.findahelpline.comreasonstostay.co Connect with Us:Submit a story for The Lore segmentSubmit a request for advice for our Step Into My office segmentReach out: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

We need to talk about sex addiction — because culturally, this phrase gets thrown around a lot. And depending on who you ask, it’s either a legitimate disorder… or a moral panic wrapped in clinical language.Either way, it is certainly true that some people need expert support to realign their sexual behavior with their values and intentions, and heal any wounds that may underlie sexual acting out. But is addiction the one best model for doing this work?In this episode of But For Real, we’re diving into the messy, controversial world of sex addiction, porn use, and what clinicians actually mean when they talk about “out of control sexual behavior.”Because here’s the truth: the phrase sex addict gets used everywhere — in couples fights, celebrity scandals, religious communities, and treatment centers. But clinically, the picture is way more nuanced.We’re asking:Is sex addiction actually recognized as a mental health disorder?Why does the DSM not include it?What’s the difference between a high libido, a porn habit, and something that’s truly out of control?And how much of this conversation is shaped by moral judgment, religion, and cultural discomfort around sex?Because here’s the thing:Not every high libido is pathology. Not every porn habit is addiction. And not every relationship betrayal means someone has a disease.But if your sexual behavior feels compulsive, secretive, or deeply distressing, that matters — and it deserves real support, not internet armchair diagnoses.In this episode, we break down the history of the sex addiction model, why many sex therapists challenge it, and what a more nuanced understanding of sexual behavior actually looks like.Plus, we explore the role of shame, porn culture, religion, attachment, and emotion regulation — because sometimes behavior isn’t the real issue. It’s the coping strategy underneath it.From there, we unpack: The origin of the sex addiction model and its roots in the 12-step worldWhy “sex addiction” has never been officially recognized in the DSMThe difference between sex addiction, compulsive sexual behavior, and out-of-control sexual behaviorWhy labeling someone a “sex addict” can sometimes pathologize normal sexualityThe cultural factors (religion, gender norms, and shame) shaping the conversationHow porn use actually fits into this discussionThe difference between sexual acting out vs. sexual offendingSigns sexual behavior might truly be compulsive or distressingWhy shame and secrecy often keep people stuck in the cycleHow sex therapy approaches this topic differently than addiction treatmentWe talk about:00:00 – Life hacks: hiccup cures & anxiety nausea tricks05:30 – Tea & Crumpets: internet rabbit holes and cultural commentary09:30 – Step Into My Office: porn, shame, and being labeled a “sex addict”14:00 – The DSM: is sex addiction a real diagnosis?17:00 – Val’s experience training as a sex addiction therapist20:00 – Why the DSM rejected hypersexual disorder22:00 – The shift toward out-of-control sexual behavior frameworks24:00 – Moral shame vs clinically significant distress30:00 – Porn, masculinity, and cultural narratives about sex36:00 – A healthier way to understand sexual behaviorResources Mentioned:The Myth of Sex Addiction by David LeyTreating Out of Control Sexual Behavior by Doug Braun-Harvey & Michael VigoritoConnect with Us:Submit a story for The Lore segmentSubmit a request for advice for our Step Into My office segmentReach out: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

We need to talk about child stars, y’all. 🎬 Not just in a nostalgic “remember when?” way. And not just in a “look at their meltdown” way. In a developmental, nervous-system, attachment theory-informed way.Because culturally, we’ve been sold a shiny story about fame, money, and success. But from a developmental perspective, achieving fame early in life can leave lasting scars, which are too often exploited as memes and clickbait headlines. In this episode of But For Real, we unpack the psychological underbelly of child stardom — from Britney in that revealing schoolgirl uniform at 16 to Bieber stripped down at this year’s Grammys— and from the Disney/Nickelodeon machine to TikTok kids with brand deals before puberty.We’re asking:What happens when identity formation gets too blended with performance?What does it do to a child’s attachment system when they’re the breadwinner?How does a nervous system develop under constant visibility and evaluation?Because here’s the truth:Money does not regulate a nervous system.Fame does not replace attunement.And followers do not equal safety.From there, we unpack: How identity formation gets disrupted when a kid becomes a brand 🎭Why being rewarded for compliance and performance warps self-conceptWhat happens developmentally when you can’t have your “weird phase” in privateHow attachment dynamics shift when the child becomes the breadwinner 💸The psychological pressure baked into parentificationWhy money and fame don’t regulate a nervous systemThe mental health risks tied to chronic evaluation, overstimulation, and performance conditioningHow substance use becomes an understandable (but costly) regulation strategyWhat parasocial relationships and hyper-visibility do to individuation 📱Why the lack of federal protections for child influencers should concern all of usPlus— rabbit holes (well, of course) exploring Jeanette McCurdy, Val’s QVC host childhood dreams, paparazzi and algorithm culture, the Coogan Law, Ruby Franke’s family vlog fallout, and why “but they had everything” completely misses the point.We talk about:00:00 – Intro03:00 – Jeanette McCurdy and the child star reckoning06:00 – A 10-year-old who wants to be famous (Step Into My Office)11:00 – Erikson, identity formation & losing your “weird phase”15:00 – Attachment theory & the child-as-breadwinner dynamic20:00 – Substance use, performance pressure & shame23:00 – Paparazzi culture vs. algorithm culture27:00 – Parasocial relationships & hyper-visibility30:00 – “They had everything” — and why that argument failsConnect with Us:Submit a story for The Lore segmentSubmit a request for advice for our Step Into My office segmentReach out: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

Let’s be honest. We all love a little drama… as long as it’s not happening to us. 😜From celebrity family feuds to wedding-day chaos to messy public statements, we can’t look away. But the second that kind of public-facing conflict hits our own nervous system? We’re either shutting down, spiraling, or plotting our escape into permanent invisibility.In this episode of But For Real, therapists Val and Emerson unpack the psychology of why we love drama and gossip— at least, of course, until it’s about us. We’re talking attachment wounds, tribalism, and the very human tendency to consume chaos as entertainment while avoiding it in our own lives.As always, we’re kicking things off with some pop culture tea (the Beckhams are fighting, y’all), but quickly zoom out to explore the deeper question: why does other people’s relational conflict feel juicy, but our own feels threatening?If you grew up in a family where repair wasn’t modeled…If conflict makes your chest tighten and your brain short-circuit…If you find yourself glued to reality TV but allergic to confrontation…This one’s for you, babe.Because of course drama hits different when your attachment system is involved.From there, we unpack:Why other people’s drama feels safe to consumeWhat happens in your nervous system when conflict becomes personalHow attachment wounds shape your reaction to relational tensionThe difference between curiosity and ruminationWhy public family conflict hits so hard culturallyWhen drama becomes avoidanceHow to stop intellectualizing and start embodying repairWhy healing relational trauma requires tolerating discomfortPlus: Snowmageddon survival stories, exploding trees and frost cracking, unexpected love for a Super 8 motel, Spice Girls loyalty debates, and the trainwreck-you-can’t-look-away-from of the Beckhams fighting in public.This episode is for anyone who:Loves a little pop culture tea but gets dysregulated the second conflict hits close to homeGrew up around tension, enmeshment, or emotional landmines and now feels hyper-aware of drama everywhereFinds themselves glued to other people’s relational mess while avoiding their ownIs realizing their nervous system reacts to conflict like it’s a five-alarm fireBecause sometimes we’re not obsessed with drama. We’re just trying to understand something our body never got to feel safe inside of.We talk about:00:00 – Snowmageddon 2026 & survival mode03:30 – Pop culture tea: The Beckhams are fighting07:00 – Why we love drama when it’s not ours11:00 – Nervous system activation & conflict15:00 – Attachment wounds and emotional reactivity20:00 – Enmeshment, boy moms, and wedding-day chaos25:00 – When curiosity turns into rumination30:00 – Conflict avoidance vs. relational repair35:00 – Why drama can be a form of avoidance40:00 – Doing hard relational things anywayConnect with Us:Submit a story for The Lore segmentSubmit a request for advice for our Step Into My office segmentReach out: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

If conflict makes your chest tighten, your brain freeze, or your instinct scream “AVOID AT ALL COSTS, ABORT, ABORT!,” this episode is for YOU, honey.In Episode 37 of But For Real, therapists Val and Em talk honestly about repair—not the Instagram version, but the real-life, messy, emotionally vulnerable process of repairing relationships after conflict. We recorded this episode fresh off a hard week, which means we’re not speaking theoretically. We’re speaking from inside it.We unpack what repair actually looks like when it wasn’t modeled, when uncertainty feels unbearable, and when your nervous system is convinced that conflict equals danger. This isn’t about fixing everything perfectly or tying things up with a bow. It’s about starting, staying present, and choosing connection even when you’re scared.From there, we unpack:Why repair doesn’t mean “everything is fixed now”Why starting matters more than finishingHow uncertainty is anxiety’s worst nightmare (and still unavoidable)What it looks like to live your values instead of just talking about themWhy doing the messy, uncomfortable thing is often the most ethical choicePlus: fragrances, phone maximalism, dairy-free Boursin supremacy, Hobby Lobby slander, and letting your inner toddler run the show occasionally.This episode is for anyone who:Never saw repair modeled growing upFeels terrified of conflict but longs for deeper connectionThinks they’re “bad at relationships” when really they were just never taughtIs learning how to do hard things scared, tender, and imperfectRepair isn’t clean. It isn’t linear. And it isn’t always possible. But when it IS possible? Even if it’s messy, it can be powerful as hell.We talk about:00:00 – Welcome back, sleep deprivation, and why we sound unhinged01:30 – Why we chose repair as today’s topic (and why it’s personal)03:00 – Emerson on conflict avoidance, repair not being modeled, and inner-child witnessing05:00 – Anxiety, uncertainty, and why “not knowing how this ends” is brutal07:30 – Living your values vs. performing them10:00 – Tea & Crumpets: fragrance recs, phone maximalism, and inner toddler joy15:00 – Food opinions we feel unreasonably strong about18:00 – Why repair isn’t about blame, villains, or being “right”22:00 – Val’s tower moment: things falling apart to rebuild stronger26:00 – Starting repair without knowing the outcome30:00 – Why doing the messy thing is the work34:00 – Repair when it’s possible—and when it’s not38:00 – Final reflections: doing hard things scared, togetherConnect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

If you’ve done “the work,” learned nervous system skills, gone to therapy… and you still get dysregulated, this episode is your permission slip to stop spiraling about it.In Episode 36 of But For Real, Val and Em break down what emotional regulation actually means—and why TikTok, pop psychology, and even therapy culture have wildly distorted it. We start the episode under-caffeinated, under-slept, and already dysregulated (relatable), then use that exact moment to talk about what being human really looks like.We answer a listener question from a self-described “dysregulated diva” who’s frustrated that anxiety spikes, shutdown, and emotional overwhelm still happen despite years of nervous system work. Spoiler: this does not mean therapy isn’t working.From there, we unpack:Why emotions are energy in motion, not instructionsHow emotional regulation has been hijacked by productivity cultureWhy the DSM doesn’t diagnose emotions—and why TikTok keeps trying toThe difference between emotional intensity and mental illnessWhy “never being activated again” is a scamHow DBT skills like urge surfing, TIPP, emotion naming, and opposite action actually work in real lifeWe also talk cicadas, kombucha shots, weaponized stoicism, BPD discourse on TikTok, why calm ≠ healed, and how regulation was never meant to make you quieter, easier, or more palatable.This episode is nervous-system education without toxic positivity, spiritual bypassing, or “rewire yourself once and for all” nonsense.If you’ve ever thought, “Why am I still like this?” — this one’s for you.We talk about:00:00 – Low brain power, re-recording chaos, and starting dysregulated02:00 – Real-life regulation: distraction vs. shifting state05:00 – Tea & Crumpets: unsettling movies, long-form content, and attention burnout09:30 – Step Into My Office: “If I still get dysregulated, is therapy working?”14:00 – Why “never being activated again” is a lie16:00 – What emotions actually are: energy in motion18:30 – Thoughts vs. emotions (aka: don’t believe every cicada thought)21:00 – How emotions get pathologized culturally23:00 – The DSM reality check (and why TikTok keeps misusing it)26:00 – BPD discourse, diagnostic criteria, and why labels are getting sloppy28:00 – What emotional regulation really means31:00 – Window of Tolerance myths & hot takes33:00 – DBT skills: urge surfing, TIPP, distress tolerance36:00 – Emotion naming & wise mind38:00 – Opposite action (what it is and what it is NOT)42:00 – Why skills work best outside of crisis43:30 – “But for real”: Regulation isn’t about being easier to deal with44:00 – Music picks & live reactions48:00 – Fire Dumpster Phoenix: restorative justice & peace monks53:00 – Final permission: you’re not failing, you’re respondingConnect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

January is just… weird, y’all. Not awful necessarily, but also not really the motivation-charged era we’re culturally conditioned that it should be. In this episode of But For Real, we’re naming the post-holiday emotional hangover that sneaks up on so many of us every January. The irritability. The numbness. The low-grade existential dread. The urge to hibernate while the internet screams “new year, new you.”We’re calling it Seasonal Feelings Disorder, not a diagnosis, not a pathology, just an honest name for the cocktail of nervous system burnout, disrupted routines, winter darkness, and cultural pressure that makes January feel like liminal purgatory.We talk about why your body crashes after December, why motivation disappears, why everything feels heavier, and why none of this means you’re broken, behind, or failing at life. We break down the difference between winter blues and Seasonal Affective Disorder, how capitalism fights biology every January, and why neurodivergent folks often feel this season more intensely.This episode blends therapist brains, lived experience, listener questions, nervous system education, music, trash panda joy, and variety-show chaos, because mental health conversations should feel human, not like homework.If January has you staring at your calendar wondering what happened to your personality, this one’s for you.We cover:Why January feels emotionally flat, irritable, and existentialWhat we mean by “Seasonal Feelings Disorder”The difference between January blues and Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)The nervous system crash after December overstimulationWhy winter biology and productivity culture are always fightingHow routines, motivation, and identity get scrambled in JanuaryWhy neurodivergent nervous systems feel this season harderThe myth of “new year energy” and why it backfiresGentle ways to support your nervous system instead of forcing growthHow to re-enter structure without shame or self-punishmentWhy you’re not lazy, ungrateful, or behind, you’re defrostingWe talk about:00:00 – We’re back, end-of-year chaos, and why January already feels weird03:05 – Ins & outs, movement, therapy, identity, and letting go of over-rotting06:40 – Burnout, rest, and learning what actually restores us09:45 – Civic engagement, goblin core, and letting ourselves evolve messily12:30 – Tea & Crumpets, vagus nerve care and nervous system survival tools14:50 – Step Into My Office, the spiritually dehydrated January question18:20 – Why January feels existential and disorienting 20:15 – Seasonal Feelings Disorder, what it is and what it isn’t22:10 – SAD vs winter blues, clinical vs situational25:00 – Post-holiday adrenaline crashes and nervous system burnout28:40 – Circadian rhythms, darkness, and winter biology31:10 – Capitalism, productivity pressure, and January whiplash33:45 – Neurodivergence, masking fatigue, and routine collapse36:30 – Gentle structure instead of aggressive self-reinvention39:00 – Defrosting slowly instead of forcing bloom mode41:50 – Music that understands winter sadness44:20 – Fire Dumpster Phoenix, trash panda hope48:10 – Final thoughts, permission to move slowly into the yearConnect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

Ever tried hypnosis and thought, “Cool… nothing is happening,” while everyone else in the comments claims their soul left their body?Same.In this episode, we’re pulling hypnosis out of the movie version and into real life. No clucking like a chicken. No blacking out. No dramatic “going under.” Just an honest, funny, science-backed conversation about what hypnosis actually is, why it often feels subtle, and why your brain isn’t broken if you’re still aware of everything.We talk about blinking aggressively during guided sessions, noticing every swallow, wondering if you left the dryer running, and why all of that is way more normal than you’ve been led to believe. From stage hypnosis myths to clinical hypnotherapy reality, we break down what’s actually happening in your brain and nervous system when you’re in a trance state.This episode blends clinical insight, nervous system education, pop culture references, and variety-show chaos, because learning about mental health shouldn’t feel like homework.We cover:What hypnosis really is (and what it definitely is not)Why hypnosis often feels calm, subtle, and very awakeThe myth of “going under” and where it came fromWhy overthinkers, anxious minds, and neurodivergent brains are not bad at hypnosisHow hypnosis overlaps with meditation, NSDR, EMDR, and brainspottingWhy watching TV, driving on autopilot, or losing your keys is already a trance stateThe difference between stage hypnosis, clinical hypnotherapy, and coaching-based hypnosisWhen self-hypnosis can be helpful and when working with a trained practitioner mattersWhy ethical practice and scope of care actually matter in this spaceWe talk about:00:00 – New setup, unhinged hypotheticals, and stage hypnosis chaos03:15 – Why hypnosis fascinates us (and confuses everyone)06:05 – Listener question, “Why does hypnosis feel like nothing is happening?”09:10 – Am I not hypnotizable? Overthinking, awareness, and myth busting12:40 – What hypnosis actually is (clinical explanation without the snooze)16:30 – The brain science, trance states, and nervous system regulation20:10 – Why watching TV, driving, and losing your keys is already hypnosis23:15 – Stage hypnosis vs clinical hypnotherapy (and why movies lied)27:20 – Hypnosis, ADHD, anxiety, and neurodivergent brains31:05 – Self-hypnosis, YouTube videos, and what actually helps35:40 – When hypnosis is helpful (and when it needs clinical support)40:10 – Pain, gut health, IBS, and what the research actually shows44:30 – Common myths, fears, and losing control concerns48:20 – What hypnosis usually feels like (heavy, light, time distortion)52:10 – Why subtle doesn’t mean ineffective55:00 – Final thoughts, nervous system wisdom, and reframing “nothing happened”Connect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

Music is literally the soundtrack of our lives – and music can be incredibly healing when used in the right way. In this episode of But For Real, Valerie and Emerson dive into the ins and outs of music therapy, how and why it works, and how you can start your own music therapy journey.This episode covers:04:12 - Tea & Crumpets: Virginia Giuffre’s memoir: Nobody’s Girl + Take Back Your Marriage by Bill Doherty09:47 - Step Into My Office: Could music therapy be right for me, even if I’m not “musical”?15:03 - The DSM: What Even Is Music Therapy?40:02 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!43:34 - Val Pick: "Does Not Suffice" by Joanna Newsom46:40 - Em Pick: "29" by Demi Lovato47:11 - Wait...What? Is this gonna ruin the tour?49:01 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Fishing as an option for mental health treatment + A stray dog that turned into a service dog has just been crowned the 2025 Hero Dog Award by the American Humane Society!Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:Nobody's Girl by Virginia Roberts GiuffreTake Back Your Marriage by Bill DohertyAmerican Music Therapy AssociationHow to find a certified MT-BCDoes Not Suffice by Joanna Newsom29 by Demi LovatoFishing as an option for mental health treatment A stray dog that turned into a service dog has just been crowned the 2025 Hero Dog Award by the American Humane Society!Connect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

If you feel like adult life is just full of responsibilities, to-dos, meetings, and seriousness, you’re not alone. With busy schedules and the weight of the world, it’s easy to feel disconnected. In this episode of But For Real, Valerie and Emerson explore the relationship we have as play as adults, why it’s actually integral to your well-being and how to start inviting in joy again 🫶This episode covers:03:17 - Tea & Crumpets: Freaky Friday + Freakier Friday and Emerson’s screen free sauna/steam Sunday routine07:08 - Step Into My Office: How can I get over the fear of looking stupid so that I can find fun?12:57 - The DSM: The Serious Person’s Guide To Getting Silly Again36:33 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAY!38:11 - Em Pick: "Girl of Your Dreams" by Eli39:19 - Val Pick: "H.Y.C.Y.BH?" by Tom Cardy39:37 - Wait...What? - WTF does 67 mean?42:52 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Tiffany Haddish’s She Ready Foundation + Henry the 1200 lb polar bear eating a giant pumpkinResources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:Why We Play Jack PankseppEli, pop’s new stage girl, is living her teenage dream | The FADER"Girl of Your Dreams" by Eli"H.Y.C.Y.BH?" by Tom CardyTiffany Haddish’s She Ready FoundationHenry the 1200 lb polar bearConnect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

In a world full of uncertainty and pain, life can feel devoid of meaning and hope—but what if life could also feel incredibly rich by showing up for it fully? You don’t have to have it all figured out to live with depth, and existential humanistic psychology can help you reconnect with life meaningfully.This episode covers:03:33 - Tea & Crumpets: Rewatching Nashville + The Lowdown07:21 - Step Into My Office: Okay, I’ve learned to cope… but now what?11:25 - The DSM: Existential-Humanistic Psychology43:30 - Now That's What I Call....OKAAAAY!44:43 - Em’s Pick: "End of Beginning" by Djo45:22 - Val’s Pick: "What Sarah Said" by Death Cab for Cutie45:42 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: A 95 year old man started a Taylor Swift fan club + 80-Year-Old Grandma Who Learned to Swim at 59 Just Became Oldest Ever Female Ironman FinisherResources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:Nashville (TV Series 2012–2018) - IMDbThe Lowdown"End of Beginning" by Djo"What Sarah Said" by Death Cab for Cutie95 year old man started a Taylor Swift fan club80-Year-Old Grandma Who Learned to Swim at 59 Just Became Oldest Ever Female Ironman FinisherConnect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

In a world that’s both metaphorically and literally on fire, it can feel nearly impossible to figure out how the hell to live without either feeling like you’re gaslighting yourself into “normalcy” or getting so paralyzed by eco-anxiety that you can’t function. In this episode, Valerie and Emerson dive into all things Eco-Anxiety & Planet Grief, as well as steps you can take to navigate a burning world without getting STUCK in the apathetic loop of grieving our Mother Earth.This episode covers:04:40 - Tea & Crumpets: Katrina: Come Hell and High Water + One Battle After Another09:04 - Step Into My Office: How do I care about the planet without drowning in guilt or apathy?17:01 - The DSM: Eco-Anxiety & Planet Grief43:11 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!45:21 - Valerie’s Pick: "Peace Train" by Cat Stephens 48:11 - Emerson’s Pick: "Send It On" by Disney's Friends for Change48:36 - Wait...What? The Great Lock In of 202553:09 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Man is Shocked to Find His Dog Giving a Baby Koala a Piggyback Ride and The triumphant return of Francine the catResources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:Katrina: Come Hell and High WaterOne Battle After AnotherYale Experts Explain Climate AnxietyHickman et al., 2021, The Lancet Planetary HealthChapman et al., 2021, The Journal of Climate Change and HealthClinical Ecopsychology: The Mental Health Impacts and Underlying Pathways of the Climate and Environmental Crisishttps://playingforchange.com "Peace Train" by Cat Stephens"Send It On" by Disney's Friends for ChangeThe triumphant return of Francine the catMan is Shocked to Find His Dog Giving a Baby Koala a Piggyback RideThe Great Lock In of 2025Connect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

Conversations around self-growth are all over every media platform these days – and while introspection and commitment to growth and change is important, it’s easy for it to be an all consuming trap that’s actually the opposite of growth.In this episode, Valerie and Emerson take a deep dive into the history of the self-growth industrial complex, explore what’s useful, debunk what’s not, and give you real advice on how to tackle self-improvement without spiraling.This episode covers:05:26 - Tea & Crumpets: Bob Trevino Likes It + the Abbey Yung hair method10:42 - Step Into My Office: How do I know when self-growth is actually healthy vs. when it’s becoming too much?21:55 - The DSM: The Self-Growth Industrial Complex43:09 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!44:46 - Em Pick: "Love Myself" by Olivia O'Brien47:41 - Val Pick: "Adventures in Success" by Will Powers48:19 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: 9 year old aspiring pediatric neuro-surgeon Aiden Wilkins very well may become the youngest doctor in the world + The Greenagers group gets youths to love the outdoorsResources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:Bob Trevino Likes ItAbbey Yung hair methodLove Myself by Olivia O’BrienAdventures in Success by Will Powers9 year old aspiring pediatric neuro-surgeon Aiden WilkinsThe Greenagers group gets youths to love the outdoorsConnect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

In a time where it feels like 2000s diet culture is back in full force, this week’s episode about eating disorders and body image is important now more than ever. Whether you’re currently struggling with your body, have struggled in the past, love someone who struggles, or are just interested in a deep dive on these complex challenges, this episode is for you.This episode covers:02:32 - Tea & Crumpets: Sabrina Carpenter’s new album and The Practice of Groundedness by Brad Stulberg05:08 - Step Into My Office: Do I have an eating disorder or is just lifelong body shame?10:08 - The DSM: Eating disorders, disordered eating, and body image56:36 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!58:50 - Val Pick: "Ana's Song" by Silverchair1:00:38 - Em Pick: "Fat Funny Friend" by Maddie Zahm1:02:33 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: A man crossed 26 miles in a kayak made from mushrooms + a dog’s wholesome last mealResources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:Sabrina Carpenter’s new albumThe Practice of Groundedness by Brad Stulberg"Ana's Song" by Silverchair"Fat Funny Friend" by Maddie ZahmHe crossed 26 miles in a kayak made from mushrooms – and lived to tell the taleA dog’s wholesome last mealThe Body Is Not An ApologyThe Center for Body TrustIntuitive EatingChristy HarrisonHealth At Every SizeASDAHConnect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

Today we have such an exciting episode and a special guest. Santasha Wright-Comer, LMSW, is a Sex-Informed Therapist here The Gaia Center who believes healing and pleasure go hand in hand. A proud wife and mom of two, Santasha brings both warmth and realness into her work, especially when supporting LGBTQIA+ and BIPOC communities in finding safety, joy, and intimacy in their relationships. When she’s not in session, you can catch her in dance class, laughing with her family, or researching the latest mods for The Sims 4.In this episode, SanTasha shares so much wisdom related to sex therapy, sex positivity, and kink.This episode covers:03:13 - Tea & Crumpets: Listers: A Glimpse Into Extreme Birdwatching - from Owen & Quentin Reiser, Unknown Number: The High School Catfish on Netflix, and The Sims09:10 - Step Into My Office: How do I bring up kink with my partner?13:57 - The DSM: Sex Therapy & Kink45:55 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!47:24 - SanTasha pick: "Persuasive:" by Doechii48:30 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Mile long table in Denver CO sat thousands of people who wanted to connect and be in community with one another, and Who Gives a Crap, 52:49 - Rapid Fire Q&AResources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:Listers: A Glimpse Into Extreme BirdwatchingUnknown Number: The High School CatfishThe SimsConnect with SanTasha:gaiacenter.co/meet-santashainstagram.com/santashawcConnect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

Alcohol culture is pervasive—and while alcohol isn’t unhealthy for EVERYONE, the discourse can be pretty inescapable. Whether you’ve been alcohol free for years, curious about your relationship with alcohol, or trying to stop, this episode is for you!This episode covers:00:03:08 - Tea & Crumpets: All Rhodes Lead Here by Mariana Zapata and delaying gratification by doing things slowly00:08:20 - Step Into My Office: How do I set boundaries with family related to alcohol?00:13:25 - The Lore: Val’s journey to an alcohol free life00:26:55 - The DSM: Alcohol in 202500:57:36 - Now That's What I Call....OKAAAAY!00:59:41 - Val Pick: "Reasons I Drink" by Alanis Morissette01:02:06 - Em Pick: "Escapism." by Raye01:03:24 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Two 10 year old girls beat 2 chest grandmasters & the annual Gallup Life Evaluation indexResources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:Gallup poll studying American’s consumption habitsWhat Is a Standard Drink? Measurements of Alcohol Explained | LoveToKnowSunnysideReframeHello SomedayThe Killjoy AfterpartyCreative SobrietyThis Naked Mind PodcastThis Naked MindQuit Like a WomanTired of Thinking About DrinkingThe Unexpected Joy of Being SoberConnect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

In this episode, Valerie and Emerson dive into an always controversial topic: infidelity. They explore what infidelity actually is, statistics, why people cheat, cultural considerations, and the role therapy can play.This episode covers:03:28 - Tea & Crumpets: The Osbournes and Shrinking Season 206:08 - Step Into My Office: HELP! My friend is cheating…10:04 - The DSM: THE hottest debate in all media ever and IRL relationships… let’s talk about INFIDELITY38:29 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!41:52 - Emerson’s Pick: "My Mind" by Yebba46:45 - Valerie’s Pick: "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" by Panic! At the Disco47:53 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: A former chef helping street dogs after they gave him hope in his darkest days & Dan Pelzer’s legacyResources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:Prolific reader, former Marine and social worker Dan Pelzer Street dogs gave him hope during dark days. Now he’s returning the favor"My Mind" by Yebba"I Write Sins Not Tragedies" by Panic! At the Discohttps://what-dan-read.com/Connect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

In this episode, we are excited to dive into all things men’s mental health & the power of gaming with one of The Gaia Center’s team members, Sam DiMartino!In his clinical work, Sam supports individuals and couples through an array of topics like grief, trauma, toxic masculinity + men’s issues, systemic oppression, identity exploration etc and also leads our men’s group Tearing Down The Walls! As our Client Journey Liaison he assists our leadership team with ensuring excellent client care and experience, and he does a damn good job. When he’s not therapizing, you can find him gaming, creating, being a literal comedian and sharing his love with his wife Ruby and their two cats Sophie and Claus. This episode covers:00:03:24 - Tea & Crumpets: forRest Mind Ambiance YouTube channel, Heartstopper, and Donkey Kong Bananza00:09:12 - Step Into My Office: Is my little brother addicted to video games?00:18:09 - The DSM: Men’s mental health and the impact of video games in today’s culture00:44:10 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!00:46:12 - Sam Pick: "ZZZ Top" by Aesop Rock00:46:53 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Older aged folks finding connection through gaming, a city-run program in Seoul, SK is combating isolation among adults of all ages who live alone, and Sam’s cat Claus00:50:14 - Sam Quizzes Val & Em on Gaming00:59:56 - Rapid Fire Q&AResources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:forRest Mind Ambiance YouTube channelHeartstopperDonkey Kong BananzaAesop Rock - ZZZ Top (Official Video)Gaming in their golden years articleSeoul, South Korea community programConnect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

Today’s episode is allllll about MONEY HUNNY – how we are influenced to think about the construct of money, financial wellbeing, and balancing all of this in the modern landscape of capitalism and consumerism.This episode covers:06:59 - Tea & Crumpets: Stretching in the pool + Courtney Carver11:27 - Step Into My Office: Navigating financial boundaries with friends 18:04 - The DSM: The Psychology of Money44:17 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!45:41 - Emerson Pick: "Seven Rings" by Ariana Grande48:07 - Valerie Pick: "Look At Me Now" by Karmin (CB Cover)48:55 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: H-E-B supporting Texas flood relief efforts + a crow visiting his Danish “chosen family”Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:Courtney CarverMoney Beliefs and Financial Behaviors: Development of the Klontz Money Script InventoryScarcity mindset articleConflating Income and Self-Worth. The Money Trap 2 | by Baillie Aaron7 rings by Ariana GrandeLook At Me Now by KarminThe Butt Family, H-E-B, and the H.E. Butt Foundation announce $5 million donation for Texas flood recovery effortsA crow visits his Danish chosen family oftenConnect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

In today’s world, there’s an interesting juxtaposition between constant (and often necessary) use of technology coupled with conversations around unplugging. In this episode, we dive into digital detoxing, why everyone suddenly wants a flip phone, and how our nervous systems are begging for boundaries. From nostalgic phone memories to the psychology of being “always on,” we’re asking: can we ever truly unplug? (Spoiler: you don’t have to throw your phone in the ocean… but we get it.)This episode covers:05:48 - Tea & Crumpets: Tokyo Disney & Sunrise On The Reaping10:47 - Step Into My Office: Setting tech boundaries while working from home15:43 - The DSM: Digital Detox + Unplugging39:41 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!42:32 - Val's Pick: "All You Wanted" by Michelle Branch44:06 - Em's Pick: "Two Ghosts" by Harry Styles44:23 - Wait...What? - The concept of “reheating nachos46:46 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Clarksville, TN 4 year old saves her daycare teacher’s life & an 81-year-old waitress said she couldn’t retire, so a stranger raised over $300K for herResources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:Sunrise On The ReapingBusiness of Apps Push Notifications Statistics of 2025How Multitasking Drains UsAll You Wanted by Michelle BranchLOVE/HATE LIST by DREAM BABY PRESSTwo Ghosts- Harry StylesClarksville, TN 4 year old saves her daycare teacher’s lifeAn 81-year-old waitress said she couldn’t retire, so a stranger raised over $300K for herConnect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

In this episode, we have our first installment of a special new mini series titled Living Your Activism. In this series, we're talking to activists and advocates across a wide variety of missions and passions about how they found their thing, what they do to stay grounded and connected with joy amidst all the chaos in the world, and what it means to truly live their activism, not just as a checkbox or some burnout inducing giant commitment, but as something that's interwoven throughout their life in a nourishing, sustainable way.Our guest for this first installment is Ella Magers, MSW, a holistic fitness rebel on a mission to ignite fierce compassion and revolutionize what it means to be healthy and fit.She’s a thought-leader, professional speaker, podcast host, and the dynamic creator and host of the Evolution of Fitness with Ella YouTube show—a space where strength meets soul and transformation goes way beyond the physical.Vegan since 1995, Ella holds a Master’s in Social Work and is a certified personal trainer, yoga instructor, and food freedom coach. With over two decades of experience in the wellness space, she’s helped thousands break free from toxic diet culture, rewire self-sabotaging patterns, and build powerful, plant-strong bodies they love living in.Ella is a former bikini bodybuilding champion and lifelong athlete who blends mindset, movement, and plant-based nutrition into transformational coaching that sticks. She was named one of the world’s top trainers by Bodybuilding.com and Shape Magazine, and serves on the board of Hogs & Kisses Farm Sanctuary.Based in Miami Beach, you’ll find her training, teaching, filming, and adventuring with her beloved rescue chihuahua, Fiona.This episode covers:01:39 - Tea & Crumpets: Emerson’s experience with trying hair glossing05:07 - Step Into My Office: Can seasonal depression happen in summer?10:26 - Living Your Activism Interview with Ella Magers40:46 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: A triple organ transplant recipient met with his donors familyResources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:Triple organ transplant recipient meets with donors familyConnect with Ella Magers:Website: https://www.ellamagers.comIG: @sexyfitvegan Connect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

While the thought of telling a group of strangers about your inner feelings can be scary for many people, group therapy can actually be incredibly powerful. In this episode, we explore the roots of group therapy, the different types of groups, the benefits, times when group therapy is and isn’t a good fit, and resources for finding a group appropriate for your healing journey.This episode covers:06:21 - Tea & Crumpets: Handmaid’s Tale Season 6 and Flow12:46 - Step Into My Office: Group therapy after higher levels of treatment15:40 - The Lore: The story of Emerson getting stuck in a stampede in New Orleans21:54 - The DSM: The Power of Group Therapy53:04 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!54:42 - Emerson’s Pick: "Whole Again" by Atomic Kitten56:56 - Valerie’s Pick: "Tell Him" by Celine Dion & Barbra Streisand57:41 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: The Offline Club and the Alliance for Texas HistoryResources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:Handmaid’s TaleFlow"Whole Again" by Atomic Kitten"Tell Him" by Celine Dion & Barbra StreisandThe Offline ClubAlliance for Texas Historydoesthedogdie.comCoop Cool+ pillowAthletic Brewing Upside DawnThe Theory and Practice of Group Psychotherapywww.gaiacenter.co/groupsConnect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

Spirituality, religion, and being “woo-woo” are all hot topics these days – especially here in Nashville!In this episode, Val and Emerson tackle WTF spirituality actually means, how it differs from religion, how it intertwines with existentialism, and low-stakes ways to engage with it while also avoiding spiritual bypassing.And, as always, we get into other good stuff, including a spooky airBNB story from Val’s cousin (and The Gaia Center’s Director of Operations) Rebecca 👻This episode covers:06:04 - Tea & Crumpets: Val’s new cooking routine + Emerson’s obsession with Swig10:32 - Step Into My Office: Impermanence and Existentialism14:32 - The Lore: Rebecca’s Spooky AirBNB experience19:54 - The DSM: The Spirituality, Religion + Woo Woo Conundrum50:26 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!52:48 - Val Pick: "Goose Snow Cone" by Aimee Mann53:50 - "Older" by Lizzy McAlpine54:58 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: How a music conductor is navigating Parkinson’s Disease + South Africa’s ‘soccer grannies’ take the field for kicks and camaraderieResources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:Pew Research on Millennials and ReligionJohn Welwood (spiritual bypassing)Goose Snow Cone by Aimee MannOlder by Lizzy McAlpineConductor with Parkinson’s Gets Brain Stimulation Device to Stop Shakes so He Can Lead Orchestra Once AgainSouth Africa’s ‘soccer grannies’ take the field for kicks and camaraderieConnect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

For many people, hearing “couples therapy” brings up the idea of a relationship being in crisis or on the brink of ending – and while couples therapy can be impactful in those cases, there is so much more to it and so many other circumstances where it can be beneficial. In this episode, Valerie and Emerson get into what couples therapy really is, when it’s helpful, when it’s not helpful, and suggestions for what to look for if you’re interested in couples therapy. This episode covers:00:03:23 - Tea & Crumpets: Zumba at the YMCA + Harmen Hoek00:06:53 - The Lore: How Couples Therapy Helped Val00:14:46 - The DSM: What Couples Therapy Really Is00:53:20 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!00:55:27 - Em Pick: "A Thousand Trees" by Stereophonics00:57:13 - Val Pick: "In Keeping Secrets of Earth: 3" by Coheed & Cambria00:58:31 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: How Massachusetts became the only state to reduce food waste + how a 90 year old woman has saved over 10,000 animalsResources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:Harmen HoekA Thousand Trees- by StereophonicsIn Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth: 3 - by Coheed and CambriaWaste not, want not? How Massachusetts became the only state to reduce food waste90 year old woman has saved over 10,000 animalsGottman MethodEmotion Focused TherapyImagoRLTPACTConnect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

Despite misinformed pop culture statements, OCD isn’t a punchline—it’s a chronic brain loop that can be incredibly challenging for individuals to receive the care they need. In this episode, Val and Em get into the ins-and-outs of OCD, including suggestions for folks who are struggling with it, as well as folks who have a friend or loved one who is struggling. And, as always, we get into plenty of other fun stuff including TV recs and some hopeful headlines – like a rancher’s dog rescuing an infant 🥹This episode covers:04:40 - Tea & Crumpets: The Last of Us + Good American Family08:07 - Step Into My Office: Is it just overthinking or is it OCD?12:53 - The DSM: Why OCD Is NOT Just Being “So Organized”36:37 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!40:50 - Val’s Pick: "Leave" by Glen Hansard (Live at Stubb's BBQ)43:50 - Em’s Pick: "twilight zone" by Ariana Grande45:56 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Hundreds of volunteers helping an indie bookseller move spaces + a rancher’s dog leading an infant to safetyResources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:Long durations from symptom onset to diagnosis and from diagnosis to treatment in obsessive-compulsive disorder: A retrospective self-report studyThriving in Relationships When You Have OCD bookHundreds of Volunteers Form a Human Chain to Get 9,000 Books to New Location for Indie BookstoreA true good boy: rancher’s dog leads two-year-old Arizona child to safetyGlen Hansard "Leave" - Live at Stubb's BBQ"twilight zone" by Ariana GrandeConnect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

If you’ve ever struggled with a rough inner critic, you’re not alone. While the judgments of the world can certainly get in the way of living your best life, we’re often our own worst enemies. But the good news is that Valerie and Emerson have you covered with a deep dive into the psychology of self-criticism and tips for how to navigate it. And, as always, we get into plenty of other fun stuff, like what “Queening Out” means 💁🏻‍♀️This episode covers:04:21 - Tea & Crumpets: Book Lovers by Emily Henry and Dense Bean Salad07:41 - Step Into My Office: Navigating shame for not “being productive”10:58 - The DSM: Let’s Talk About The The Inner Critic37:55 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!39:14 - Emerson Pick: "Leave (Get Out)" by JoJo40:23 - Valerie Pick: "Grace" by Conventional Wisdom45:50 - Wait...What? - Queening Out47:19 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Cory Booker + Expanded Emergency Contraceptive Access in EnglandResources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:Book Lovers by Emily HenrySecond Arrow of Suffering Principle Leave (Get Out) by JoJoGrace by Conventional Wisdom@posterjournal on IGCory Booker segmentMorning after pill to be offered without charge in pharmacies across EnglandConnect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

If you’ve struggled to build or maintain friendships as an adult, you’re not alone – and in this episode, we’ve got you covered!This episode covers:02:20 - Tea & Crumpets: Adolescence on Netflix + Lights On audio documentary07:44 - Step Into My Office: Tips for a fizzling friendship12:41 - The DSM: Seeking/Building Adult Friendships in these trying times32:41 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY! 34:16 - Val’s Pick: "Graduation (Friends Forever)" by Vitamin C35:03 - Em’s Pick: "Count on Me" by Bruno Mars35:12 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Gene therapy for sickle cell anemia + a trapped dolphin galvanizing a cleanup crew Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode: Lights on audio documentary“Math Lady” memeAdolescence on NetflixIntergenerational relationships articleGraduation (Friends Forever) by Vitamin CCount on Me by Bruno MarsGround Breaking Gene Therapy Treatment Cured Sickle Cell AnemiaA dolphin trapped in a Florida waterway galvanized this cleanup teamConnect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

Today’s episode is so exciting as we have our first guest external to The Gaia Center – the phenomenal Jayne Mattingly.JAYNE MATTINGLY is a disability advocate and eating disorder helping professional. She is also the Founder of the non-for-profit The AND Initiative, which aims to provide inspiration, advocacy, resources, support, and the gifting mobility aids to those with chronic illness and physical disabilities. Jayne lives in South Carolina with her husband and pets.Through her personal experiences and in sharing the stories from everyday people, Jayne illustrates that our body has not and will never be against us. Her new book, THIS IS BODY GRIEF is where we begin.This episode covers:02:17 - Tea & Crumpets: Apple Cider Vinegar on Netflix, Structured app, and Kendrick Lamar at the Superbowl Halftime Show11:10 - Step Into My Office: Puberty and all the feels it brings17:57 - The Lore: Jayne’s experiences with menopause in her 30s25:00 - The DSM: Body Grief50:04 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY! "Supergirl" by Krystal HarrisResources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:Supergirl by Krystal HarrisApple Cider Vinegar on NetflixStructured appConnect with Jayne Mattingly:Website: https://www.jaynemattingly.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jaynemattingly/?hl=en Buy THIS IS BODY GRIEF: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/740125/this-is-body-grief-by-jayne-mattingly/ Connect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

In this week’s episode, Valerie and Emerson are coming at ya live from the corner of a hotel by the Nashville airport thanks to some less than stellar weather before they head to a hypnotherapy training 🤓The main event in this episode is all things parasocial relationships – the good, the bad, and the ugly. And as always, we get into plenty more fun stuff, including what having “the ick” means and some hopeful headlines.This episode covers:05:29 - Tea & Crumpets: Nashville Public Library’s Out of County card + Wakes (Ada & Nathan Ketchie)09:09 - Step Into My Office: What to do when you feel guilty for setting boundaries12:45 - The DSM: WTF Are Parasocial Relationships?38:50 - Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY!40:53 - Val pick: "I Miss You" by Incubus43:09 - Em pick: "Love Me More" by Sam Smith43:27 - Wait... What?: The Ick48:55 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Michael Jordan opens another clinic for underserved populations + Can an unlikely love story overcome divisions in Colombia?Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:http://wakes.lifeIncubus - I Miss YouSam Smith - Love Me MoreMichael Jordan opens another clinic for underserved populationsCan an unlikely love story overcome divisions in Colombia?Connect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

Conversations about ADHD (some helpful, some the complete opposite) are practically everywhere in our current world. In this episode, Val and Emerson take a deep dive into what ADHD really is, beyond what short form content often misses. Whether you have ADHD, think you might have ADHD, love someone with ADHD, or are just curious about WTF it is, this episode is for you!This episode covers:01:17 - Random recent hyperfixations03:30 - Tea & Crumpets - Reading ambience music on YouTube + technology boundaries/the joy of missing out08:38 - Step Into My Office: Struggling to read an adult despite reading for hours on end as a kid14:43 - The DSM - All Things ADHD46:39 - Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY!47:42 - Em Pick: "ADHD" by Mae Stephens50:36 - Val Pick: "Where Is My Mind?" by The Pixies51:18 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix - Stories to Unite Bangladesh + Cats with arthritis wearing beaniesResources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:JOMO appThe Comfort Book by Matt HaigStolen Focus bookADHD by Mae Stephens Where Is My Mind? by The PixiesStories to Unite BangladeshCats with arthritis are wearing beanies!!Connect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

Ahhhh, sleep. The thing we spend a third of our life doing and that many people don’t get enough of – grab those jammies and eye masks and let’s talk about sleep!This episode covers:01:59 - Tea & Crumpets: From Here to the Great Unknown + Activations App06:25 - Step Into My Office: When work struggles seep into our personal lives11:13 - The DSM: Talking about all things sleep40:48 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAAY!41:50 - Em Pick: "Adore You" by Miley Cyrus43:58 - Val Pick: "Dante's Prayer" by Loreena McKennitt44:24 - Wait… What?! (~the sleep edition~) - wild, viral bedtime routines46:32 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix - A retired bishop transforms guns into garden tools to help youths envision peace and an entrepreneur in Tanzania transforms cement bags into solar-charged backpack to help children read at nightResources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:Brain Basics - Understanding SleepStudy from NIH National Library of MedicineNational Sleep FoundationAdore You by Miley CyrusDante’s Prayer by Loreena McKennittA retired bishop transforms guns into garden tools to help youths envision peaceEntrepreneur in Tanzania transforms cement bags into solar-charged backpack to help children read at nightConnect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

Whether you’re currently in therapy or have been exploring finding a therapist, you’ve probably wondered, “How do I get the most out of therapy?”In this episode, Valerie and Emerson share their top tips for making the most out of your sessions…and Emerson also shares a real therapist moment of ripping her pants at the office 🫣As always, there’s so much more, including great song recommendations and some hopeful moments to get you through the chaos and heaviness of living in this world.This episode covers:00:06:34 - Tea & Crumpets – KINRGY and updates on Em’s Project Panning!00:11:09 - Reminder for Step Into My Office submissions (no segment this episode)00:11:42 - The Lore – Emerson ripped her pants at the office 😳00:19:16 - The DSM – How to get the most out of therapy00:51:57 - Now That’s What I Call…. OKAAAAY00:53:22 - Val pick: Veruca Salt - “Volcano Girls”00:55:07 - Em pick: Ed Sheeran - “I’m A Mess”00:56:10 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix – How a restaurant owner is helping feed survivors of the LA wildfires + an aid worker helping South Sudanese residents with disabilities create disaster preparedness plansResources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:KINRGYProject PanningVolcano Girls by Veruca SaltI’m a Mess by Ed SheeranMarissa Hermer’s restaurant burned down in the LA wildfires. Now she’s feeding families in needArticle about Daniel Anyang Connect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

2025 is officially here, and in this week’s episode, Val and Emerson are talking all about how to kick off the new year with compassionate self-discipline, instead of the often toxic #newyearnewme mentality. This episode covers:03:42 - Tea & Crumpets: Emerson is getting creative with her iPad and Val finally started watching Nobody Wants This.08:03 - The Lore: After extreme stress due to caring for aging parents, a woman had a bizarre immune reaction that showed her very tangibly that she needed a fresh start.11:50 - The DSM: The #NewYearNewMe culture historically isn’t working for the vast majority of people, why doesn’t it work and what CAN work instead!32:56 - Now That’s What I Call…OKAAAAY34:01 - Em Pick: “New Year’s Day” by Taylor Swift36:32 - Val Pick: “Yes and More Please” by Fia37:32 - Fire Dumpster PhoenixVal’s pick: Minnesota Summer Camp for HIV-Positive Kids Closes Down— [dramatic pause] Because There Aren’t Any More” Em’s pick: Woman collects and reunites families with their photographs lost to Hurricane HeleneResources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:The Practice of Groundedess: A Transformative Path to Success That Feeds--Not Crushes--Your SoulBrad StulbergKristin Neff’s self compassion workNew Year’s Day by Taylor SwiftYes and More Please by FiaMinnesota Summer Camp for HIV-Positive Kids Closes Down— [dramatic pause] Because There Aren’t Any MoreWoman collects and reunites families with their photographs lost to Hurricane HeleneConnect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

In this week’s episode, Val and Em take a deep dive into two topics that are relatable for pretty much everyone in today’s society – anxiety and stress 😅From basic definitions, to stats, to practical tips for how to actually manage anxiety and stress, this episode is a must listen.And, as always, we get into so much more – including some of Val’s lore 🤪This episode covers:1:00 - Thoughts on the end of the year/new year reflections02:47 - Tea & Crumpets: Men Who Hate Women by Laura Bates & Buy Now, the Shopping Conspiracy (on Netflix)08:52 - The Lore: Some of Val’s most memorable moments from her old job13:50 - The DSM: Navigating stress and anxiety40:23 - Now That’s What I Call…OKAAAAY!42:24 - Em Pick: “American Teenager” by Ethel Cain44:35 - Val Pick: “The Parting Glass” by The Wailin' Jennys46:20 - Wait…What?: What does “unaliving” mean?52:47 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: How two grandparents are selling Christmas trees to fund their grandchildren’s college education & a positive rat experiment related to anticipatory savoringResources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:Men Who Hate Women by Laura BatesBuy Now, the Shopping Conspiracy (on Netflix)Statistics and insights from the APA’s 2023 Stress in America Report:Acceptance and Commitment TherapyAmerican Teenager by Ethel CainThe Parting Glass by the Wailin’ Jennys and by HozierGrandparents planted over 5,000 Christmas trees a decade ago to help fund their grandkids collegiate careers!@thatgoodnewsgirl on IGConnect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

This week’s episode is very timely – from exploring how influencer culture and hyperconsumerism intertwine (we’re lookin’ at you, post-Black-Friday-buyer’s-remorse 😅), to the wild ride that was Emerson acquiring her new “happy light”, the sweet story of two friends that met through an accidental text message, and so much more – this episode has something for everyone!This episode covers:03:34 - Tea & Crumpets: Outlander is BACK and Wicked is AMAZING!!!07:57 - The Lore: How Emerson got her happy light13:53 - The DSM: Influencer Culture + Hyperconsumerism47:02 - Now That’s What I Call…OKAAAAY48:11 - Val’s Pick: “Paper Bag” by Fiona Apple49:46 - Em’s Pick: “Happy & Sad” by Kacey Musgraves50:23 - “Fire Dumpster Phoenix”: Two friends that met through an accidental text message spend their 9th Thanksgiving together + rural goat “nurses” in IndiaResources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:State of Kait’s video “The Most Out of Touch 2024 Influencer Trends”Paper Bag by Fiona AppleHappy & Sad by Kacey MusgravesFriends meet for 9th Thanksgiving together“The kids are all right: How rural India’s ‘goat nurses’ help animals – and themselves” - By Sushmita Pathak for The MonitorDroughtlander DiariesConnect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

Ah, nostalgia…What is it about this slippery little beastie that can simultaneously turn on all the good feels of reminiscing on the good ole’ days, while also making you compare your current self to your past self in a way that makes you want to crawl into a hole and never come out? We are diving deep into the good, bad, and ugly of nostalgia in this episode— and a lot more!In this episode of But For Real, we’re gabbing about:01:18 - Val and Emerson’s post election reflections05:10 - Tea & Crumpets - Hygge and San Miguel de Allende, Mexico11:00 - Step Into My Office - Tips for navigating seasonal mood shifts16:45 - The DSM - The Psychology of Nostalgia34:51 - Now That’s What I Call… OKAAAAY36:22 - Em’s Pick: “Potential Breakup Song” by Aly & AJ37:44 - Val’s Pick: “At Your Funeral” by Saves the Day38:34 - Wait…What? - What’s the deal with Snapchat?44:40 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix - Congressman Andy Kim won his race for a US Senate seat for NJ (first Korean-American to be elected to the US senate!) and a California mom’s reaction to passing the bar on the first try goes viral on TikTokResources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:Article explaining hyggeJournal article from National Library of Medicine on “Is nostalgia a past or future-oriented experience?”Washington Post article on millennials being the “unluckiest generation”Potential Break Up Song by Aly & AJAt Your Funeral by Saves the DayCongressman Andy Kim won his race for a US Senate seat for NJ last week! A California mom shares her live reaction to passing the bar exam on the first try!Connect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

While this week’s episode is airing in a post-2024 election world, it was recorded prior to the election – so you’ll get to hear Val & Emerson’s thoughts + advice for their future selves…which is now advice for their current selves. 😵‍💫🤪This episode runs the gamut from Dancing With The Stars & Bad Monkey, some of Emerson’s lore, whatever TF touching grass means, and our main event – navigating dating and attachment styles in the app era.So, whether you’re looking for a good TV or music rec, want to reconnect with your own embarrassing middle school memories, or need help navigating the treacherous waters of dating apps, we’ve got you covered.This episode covers:01:20 - Val & Emerson’s pre-election thoughts + advice for their future selves05:26 - Tea & Crumpets - Dancing With The Stars & Bad Monkey on Apple TV10:39 - The Lore - Emerson’s self-proclaimed “very embarrassing and earnest story” of her first day of 6th grade14:38 - The DSM - Attachment Styles in the App Era44:07 - Now That’s What I Call…Okaaaay46:04 - Emerson’s Pick: “doomsday” by Lizzy McAlpine48:43 - Valerie’s Pick: “Control” by Poe49:50 - Wait…What? – What does the slang phrase “touch grass” actually mean?52:14 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix – The e-learning platform Flowdiary & UK researchers getting funding to create a vaccine that prevents ovarian cancerResources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:Bad Monkey on Apple TVDancing With The StarsDoomsday by Lizzy McAlpineControl by PoeFlowdiaryFunding has been awarded to researchers in the UK to create a vaccine that prevents ovarian cancer!Connect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

You can’t watch more than 10 minutes of news these days without hearing some reference to AI (our bff, artificial intelligence)— and it’s popping up everywhere from celebrities and politics to music, shopping, and healthcare. In this ep, we’re breaking down the pros and cons, ethical considerations, and future directions of AI specifically within mental healthcare and therapy— and it is a JUICY one, y’all. And of course as always, we also get into a lot more!This episode covers:00:54 - Intro: Emerson seeing Chappel Roan and Val’s Texas Trip03:46 - Tea & Crumpets: The Giver of Stars by Jojo Moyes and Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story on Netflix08:11 - Step Into My Office: Navigating family estrangement when wanting to stay close to all members involved13:36 - The Lore: Shea Wingate’s experiences with grief and learning to befriend the “grief monster”20:16 - The DSM: AI & Mental Health – Advantages, Dangers, Ethical Considerations, and Future Directions46:58 - Now That’s What I Call…Ooookay48:16 - Val’s Pick: “Only Hope” by Mandy Moore50:34 - Emerson’s Pick: “Be Careful With Yourself” by Julia Jacklin52:34 - Wait…What: WTF is a kiki?!54:30 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Cats ‘hired’ to motivate security guards in Philippines and Thailand becomes first Southeastern Asian country to legalize marriage equality!!Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:Book: The Giver of Stars by Jojo MoyesMonsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story on NetflixShea Wingate – The Grief GirlieWoebotWysaX2AIHeadspace Care (formerly known as Ginger)Flamme60 Minutes storyCan AI Replace Therapists? A Psychiatrist ExplainsFixing My Brain with Automated Therapy by Jacob GellarOnly Hope by Mandy MooreBe Careful With Yourself by Julia JacklinCats ‘hired’ to motivate security guards in PhilippinesThailand becomes first Southeastern Asian country to legalize marriage equality!! AI Journaling Apps:RosebudMindseraStoicUntoldLayersConnect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] For Real on IG: @‌butforrealpodThe Gaia Center on IG: @‌thegaiacenterVal on IG: @‌valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: Authentic Therapy in Nashville - The Gaia CenterDISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

Today’s guest, The Gaia Center’s very own resident grief-expert Kalaway Voss, shares wisdom and tangible ways that we can move through grief, whether it’s the death of a loved one, a more ambiguous loss such as the ending of a relationship, or anything in between.About Kalaway VossKalaway Voss is a mental health therapist at The Gaia Center in Nashville, TN. She completed her Masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling at The Chicago School of Professional Psychology. Kalaway specializes in working with adults navigating grief and loss, anxiety, depression, complex trauma, and folks who are grappling with existential questions related to life, death, and meaning. She approaches healing from a mind/body/spirit perspective (including certification in Level 1 Reiki) and aims to help her clients feel empowered in their personal wisdom, tell their unique stories, and live bravely. Kalaway spends a lot of her time drying flowers and working with the restorative and healing properties of dried plants, herbs, and flowers.This episode covers:03:00 - Tea & Crumpets: How To Die Alone, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, and The ex-Files Rewatch Podcast06:36 - Step Into My Office: Kalaway’s advice on coping with the loss of a best friend09:43 - The DSM: All Things Grief – What drew Kalaway to want to specialize in grief therapy, healthy grief, cultural and societal influences, and tips for connecting with/processing grief34:54 - Now That’s What I Call….Okayyyy: You’re Gonna Go Far by Noah Kahan, A Little Bit of Everything by Dawes, and Landslide by Fleetwood Mac44:37 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Non-traditional Ways to Honor and Ceremonialize Death50:24 - Rapid Fire Q&A on Kalway’s perspectives of griefResources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:How To Die Alone on HuluSecret Lives of Mormon Wives on HuluThe ex-Files Rewatch Podcast with Jenny Owen Youngs + Kristin RussoYou're Gonna Go Far by Noah Kahan A Little Bit of Everything by DawesLandslide by Fleetwood MacBig Fish (2003)Connect / Work with Kalaway:https://gaiacenter.co/meet-kalaway Connect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

Today’s episode is once again a wild ride – and whether you’re struggling with sexual desire, obsessed with Sabrina Carpenter’s new album, or trying to wade through the wild west of Pop Psychology, we’ve got something for you.This episode covers:[1:00] Weekend recap – Emerson’s adventures of cat sitting & Val’s piano karaoke bar date night[3:18] Emerson’s Tea & Crumpets for the week – Sabrina Carpenter’s new album Short N Sweet[5:18] Val’s Tea & Crumpets – Hysterical podcast from Dan Taberski[8:00] Step Into My Office – Struggles with sexual desire, desire discrepancy, and tips for how to deal[19:00] The Lore – All of the juicy deets on a first date that happened at a wedding in Mexico[27:24] The DSM - Discernment in the Pop Psychology World – the positive aspects, the dangerous aspects, and how to make sense of it all, especially when you’re struggling[48:50] Emerson’s song for the week: Coincidence by Sabrina Carpenter [51:08] Val’s song for the week: Passenger Seat by Death Cab for Cutie[54:29] The wholesome squirrel’s best friend Derrick Downey Jr - @derrickdowneyj[55:53] Local Clarksville activist Allie Phillips being featured on @feminist IG accountResources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode:Sabrina Carpenter’s new album Short N SweetHysterical podcast from Dan TaberskiBook: Come As You Are by Emily NagoskiNPR Article on Allie PhillipsNow That's What I Call....OKAAAAY Spotify PlaylistConnect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

Welcome to the FIRST EPISODE of But For Real!In this episode, you get to know both Valerie and Emerson a bit more, as well as getting acquainted with all of the segments of the show – and of course, as the title says, dive into the rabbit hole 🐇This episode covers:[02:00] Emerson’s experience growing up abroad, her US citizenship journey, what being Gen Z means to her, and her favorite thing about being a therapist[12:30] Val’s podcasting history and why she started But For Real, how The Gaia Center started, what being an elder millennial means to her, and her favorite thing about being a therapist[20:17] Valerie’s Tea & Crumpets for the week - the movie Hitman[23:00] Emerson’s Tea & Crumpets for the week - learning ASL![26:00] Step Into My Office - How to fight the Sunday Scaries[33:11] The DSM (Dysfunction, Spiraling, & Meltdowns) - The difference between healthy rabbit holes and ruminating + how to keep your rabbit holes healthy[48:15] Now That’s What I Call— OKAYY! - Viva Forever by The Spice Girls and Super Graphic Ultra Modern Girl by Chappell Roan[56:00] Wait, What? - What is the current obsession with Demure???[01:00:14] Fire Dumpster Phoenix - Texas teacher’s emergency delivering a baby at school + Dr. Marie Marcelle-Deschamps in HaitiResources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode:HitmanViva Forever - The Spice GirlsSuper Graphic Ultra Modern Girl- Chappell RoanNYT Demure ArticleTexas teacher’s emergency delivering a baby at school!Dr. Marie Marcelle-Deschamps in HaitiNow That's What I Call....OKAAAAY Spotify Playlist Connect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] For Real on IG: @‌butforrealpodThe Gaia Center on IG: @‌thegaiacenterVal on IG: @‌valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: Authentic Therapy in Nashville - The Gaia Center DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

In this trailer, we cover everything you need to know about But For Real ✨....and stay tuned for the first two episodes dropping 9.25.24 🤩 Connect with Us:Send a story or ask for advice: [email protected] For Real on IG: @butforrealpodThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: Authentic Therapy in Nashville - The Gaia Center‌DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.