Intimacy After Infidelity | Cut Contact, Rebuild Trust, Shed Shame, Avoid Divorce, Forgiveness for Adultery

One hundred and fifty episodes. 🎉 No framework today. No five steps. Today I'm simply telling you what I've been praying, over the Encounter Retreat coming in four weeks, and over you. I share where my mind keeps landing as I've sat with the word encounter: Moses and the burning bush, and the moment that changed everything. Because there is no way to encounter the living God and come back unchanged. The woman at the well didn't. The woman caught in adultery didn't. Peter didn't. And Jesus didn't telephone down from heaven. He came and walked with us. Presence was the whole method. We explore: Why I named it the Encounter Retreat The actual, unpolished prayers I'm praying over this weekend- for courage, for obstacles to be removed, for strongholds to break My own honest fears about building this, and what I keep coming back to And then my heart and what I'm praying for you: chains breaking, shame dismantled, wisdom for your real decisions, and a God who keeps calling His daughters home Sometimes the most powerful thing that happens to a woman is finding out someone has been praying for her without her knowing. So now you know. 🌊 Email me RETREAT and let’s talk! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Coaching Community for free! 🤭) And if a retreat isn't your season, email me anyway and tell me what you'd want me to pray for. I read every one, and I'll actually pray it. Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough  💌 Email: [email protected] 

🌊 Curious about the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) Can I really be close to someone who doesn't know? Am I being fake by not telling her? Who actually needs to know, and who doesn't? A client asked me this recently and I haven't stopped thinking about it. She said it feels like there's a huge part of her she's keeping hidden, and it's not a small part, it's the thing that changed everything. So how is she supposed to be genuinely close to anyone? Today I answer that honestly, including the part of the answer that isn't comfortable. We explore: The difference between secrecy and privacy (one runs on shame, the other is a boundary you choose) Who I told, who I didn't, who didn't know for years, and what those relationships actually felt like The honest answer about whether a best friendship can survive intentional withholding Why the standard isn't "tell everyone." It's "tell someone." This week, name one relationship where you want more closeness, and one true thing you could share this week that isn't the whole story. Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough  💌 Email: [email protected] 

🌊 Curious about the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) Why don't I know who I am anymore? Why does the shame feel this specific? And what does it actually take to let go? Today I'm joined by Lauren LaRusso, licensed psychotherapist, author of Beyond Infidelity, and someone who has walked through her own betrayal and sat with hundreds of clients in the aftermath of theirs. Her practice sees every side of this: betrayed spouses, unfaithful spouses, and affair partners. And she said something in this conversation I haven't stopped thinking about: shame sounds identical on both sides of the story. We read one of her own journal entries from her worst season, and it's almost word for word what the women I coach say to me. We explore: The "looking glass self"- why most of us build identity on who we think others perceive us to be, and what happens when that mirror shatters Control as the centerpiece of an active affair and my own moment of realizing I couldn't manage the outcome of my confession What shame actually is, where it originates, and the step-by-step practice for releasing it Why meditation and mindfulness aren't optional The difference between needing someone and wanting them, and why finding your whole self comes first Whether you're rebuilding your marriage or you're not, this conversation is about identity, control, and what's waiting on the other side. Connect with Lauren: 📖 Beyond Infidelity: available everywhere books are sold 🌐 laurenlarusso.com 📲 https://www.instagram.com/laurenlarusso/    Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough  💌 Email: [email protected]  Email me and tell me what landed. I read every single one and I write back.

🌊 Curious about the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) Why can't I stick to anything? I'll finally get around to caring for myself once life slows down… Back in the spring I was asked about whether I'd actually follow through on a plan I'd been sitting on for months. I answered honestly: probably not, but it'll be easier when my schedule opens up. The response reframed everything: if a habit doesn't exist in constraint, it usually doesn't appear in freedom. I didn't have a scheduling problem. I had a self-trust problem, wrapped in a very reasonable story about the calendar. We explore: Why more margin doesn't produce the habit, and what actually shows up instead Pete Scazzero's Rule of Life and the trellis image that changed how I think about structure (From his book Emotionally Healthy Spirituality) My own rule and how genuinely small it was: two minutes of silence, one Psalm, one short walk, water and sleep Why freedom with no limits isn't freedom Start with who you want to be this year, and let the habits follow Your one step: name one constraint this week that could create more freedom for you. Then email me and tell me what you picked. Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough  💌 Email: [email protected]

🌊 Curious about the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) Am I doing this right? How do I know if I'm actually healing? And what am I even working toward? Most women in affair recovery are measuring themselves against a scoreboard they never agreed to. One where the only metric is whether the marriage survived. Today I want to hand you a different one. I share exactly what I believed success looked like in my early healing (repair the marriage, make it better than ever, lead a ministry together), why that definition broke, and what I know now instead. We explore: Why a definition of success that requires another person's cooperation isn't a definition  What "healed" actually means The markers I look for in women who are genuinely healing Where I stand on marriage and reconciliation Reclamation vs. recovery Why abundant life is the real scoreboard Your one step: write down your definition of success in this season. Not what anyone else says. Yours. Then email it to me! I read every one and I write back. And if you look at what you wrote and think "I don't know how to get there from here," that's exactly what a Breakthrough Call is for. Or email me RETREAT and let's talk about September. 🕊️ Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough  💌 Email: [email protected]

🌊 Curious about the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) Why do I still miss him? I've done the work, I know what's true, so why can't I fully cut him off? What is wrong with me? Nothing. There's a part of you doing exactly what she was built to do, and today I'm teaching you how to lead her instead of fighting her. This episode is Internal Family Systems applied directly to the longing you can't seem to shake. I walk you through my own part, what she feels like, what she's actually afraid of, and the two-option lie that kept me stuck for years. We explore: Why there are no bad parts of you, including the one that wants to text him at 10pm Three questions to ask your own part (pause the episode and answer them. This is where breakthroughs happen!) What attunement means and why your parts need it more than they need correction Compassionate leadership: why your protector part isn’t in control What to actually do when the feeling is intense Your one step: ask that part of you what do you actually need right now? Write down whatever comes. Don't edit it. Email me and tell me what she said. I read every one and I write back personally! 🕊️ Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough  💌 Email: [email protected] 

🌊 Curious about the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) Why am I still stuck after all this time? I've prayed about it, I've thought about it, I've analyzed it, so why hasn't anything changed? Because you can't read the label from inside the jar. Today I'm sharing three things that coaching has given me across my healing journey. Things I genuinely could not have given myself, no matter how much I journaled or prayed or thought it through. We explore: What self-awareness actually looks like in practice How I discovered I'd been editing my prayers to a God who already knew the truth Why healing requires a decision, and the difference I've seen between women who move and women who stay stuck in indecision What coaches have done for me that I could not do alone: naming patterns, catching shame, separating lie from truth, praying out loud, and simply holding space Your one step: email me and tell me one thing you're working on moving forward from. I read every single one, and I write back. And if what you're moving forward from needs more than an email, book a Breakthrough Call, or email me the word RETREAT to talk about September. 🕊️ Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough  💌 Email: [email protected] 

🌊 Curious about the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) Who actually goes on a retreat like this? Am I too far along, or not far enough? And what if I don't want to spend a weekend rehashing everything? I've been having real conversations with women about the Encounter Retreat, and the women saying yes are not who I expected. They're at completely different points in their stories, and one of them might be you. Today I'm describing four women who are coming, and answering the hesitations honestly. We explore: The woman who cut contact years ago and still doesn't have joy or freedom The woman in the middle of it who needs an interruption, not more information Why this is not an affair recovery retreat The woman whose church, family, and friends genuinely can't hold her story The woman who's past it and simply wants more of God Honest answers on the money, the dates, and "I don't want to rehash everything" The Encounter Retreat is September 25–27 in Panama City Beach, Florida. Ten women. A beach house. All-inclusive. Email me the word RETREAT and let's talk. Spots are limited, plans are being made, and September is closer than it feels. 🕊️ Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough  💌 Email: [email protected] 

🌊 Curious about the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) Why don't I recognize my own life anymore? Am I healing wrong? Why do I feel more lost now than I did in the middle of it? There's a season of healing nobody warns you about, and it isn't the crisis. It's the after. The in-between. When you're not the woman you were, and you're not settled into who you're becoming yet. Today I'm talking about the liminal space, what it is, why your nervous system hates it, and the specific internal parts that get loud when there's nothing left to manage. I share the season after my own transformation when everything had been stripped away. I was just wife, mom, trying to heal well. I share what my coaches told me to do with that blank canvas that changed how I relate to God entirely. We explore: What "liminal" actually means and why the middle of any transition is the most disorienting part Three parts that show up in the in-between: Little Miss Manager, the part afraid the new you won't hold up, and the shame part that wonders if you're in time out Why the empty season is clearing, not punishment What actually made the discomfort survivable: breathwork, agenda-free journaling, counseling, and staying Your one step: name the woman you're becoming. Not who you were. Not who you're afraid you are. Healed her. Write down three things that are true about her. Email me and tell me who she is! I personally read every single one, and I reply to each one as well. Let's build this relationship 🕊️ Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough  💌 Email: [email protected]

🌊 Curious about the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) What actually happens at a healing retreat? Is it worth the money and the childcare and the travel? And how do I know if it's for me? Today I'm answering all three questions honestly, and without a sales pitch. I'm telling you about two retreats that changed my life. The 2022 retreat where everything came pouring out of me at a kitchen table before I'd even unpacked. And the 2024 retreat where a coach told us to sit on a beach for 22 minutes with no journal, no walking, no agenda, just being, and every single woman came back with something different from God. Then I'm laying out exactly what I'm building this September, and being honest about who it's for and who it isn't. We explore: Why you don't have to be in crisis to belong in this room The 22-minute beach practice and the revelations that came out of it, including "what if the treasure is me?" The thing I can't explain away and how the Holy Spirit shows up in a room of women in ways nobody can schedule What I envision for September: the hugs, the dining room table, the release, the encounter Who this retreat is for and who it's not for What I can actually promise you, anchored in Ephesians 3:19 and Ephesians 2:10 The Encounter Retreat is September 25–27 in Panama City Beach, Florida. A luxury beach house. Ten women. All-inclusive. If something stirred while you listened, email me the word RETREAT. One word. I'll respond personally and we'll talk about whether September is your moment. 🕊️ Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough  💌 Email: [email protected]

🌊 Curious about the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) Who am I to ask for what I want when my husband is the one who's hurting? If that question has lived in you, this episode is your answer. Today I'm joined by Beatriz Vargas, host of The Grace Fueled Wife podcast, certified marriage coach, and marriage and family therapist. Bea walked through her own season of a loveless, disconnected marriage, her husband left, and she watched God bring it all back as something she never thought possible. Now she coaches and counsels wives navigating the hardest seasons of their marriages. We go deep on communication, worthiness, and what it actually looks like to have a voice in your marriage when you're the one who caused harm. We explore: Why affairs don't happen in a vacuum The critical difference between forgiveness and reconciliation (and why mixing them up keeps couples stuck) Why you are still worthy of having your needs met even after what happened The I-statement shift that changed Bea's marriage and how to start using it How to pray differently, from "God, change him" to something that actually moves things What emotional safety is and why it's the foundation of every conversation that matters Connect with Bea: 💙 Website: www.thegracefueledwife.com 🎙 Podcast: The Grace Fueled Wife (plus hear Kristina's conversation with Bea!) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/e220-finding-intimacy-after-infidelity-w-kristina-joy/id1499138632?i=1000776264746 If today's conversation stirred something in you, email me! I'd love to hear what landed. And if September is calling you, the Encounter Retreat is September 25–27 in Panama City Beach. Email me the word RETREAT and let's talk. Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: www.learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: [email protected]

🌊 Curious about the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) You prayed about it. You made the decision. You posted Scripture every day for 90 days. And then your phone buzzed. And you answered. If you've ever watched yourself do something you hated (in slow motion, knowing better, unable to stop) this episode is for you. Not because something is wrong with you. Because your body was in survival mode. And your body needed help that willpower could not provide. Today I'm talking about the spirit-body mismatch that so many women in affair recovery experience and why faith alone doesn't calm the nervous system, why God works through the body not around it, and what body-based healing actually looks like in real life. We explore: Romans 7:18-19 and what Paul's experience of doing what he didn't want to do tells us about the nervous system Why willpower fails under stress, and the neuroscience that explains what was actually happening when you kept going back The Incarnation: God sent a body because He heals through the body 1 Corinthians 6, why sexual sin is specifically a bodily matter, and why that makes your body central to your healing Three body-first practices that helped me before I even had the language of somatics Why prayer alone wasn't enough Your one step: notice one moment this week where your body is speaking. Don't fix it. Just name it. Email me and tell me what you noticed. I'd love to hear from you! This is a real relationship. Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: www.learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: [email protected]

🌊 Curious about the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) Can God really forgive me? I know He forgave me, but I don't feel forgiven. Maybe God forgave me, but can I forgive myself? If one of those questions is yours, this episode was made for you. Today I'm stepping away from affair recovery frameworks and going straight to the root: the Gospel. Not the Sunday school version. The personal version where sin has a name, and grace has to be big enough to cover that name or it isn't big enough at all. I share the moment the Gospel got personal for me while crying in a church pew week after week, realizing for the first time that Jesus didn't die for "sin" in the abstract. He died because of my specific, named, documented choices. And what that realization did to everything else. We explore: Romans 5:8- while we were still sinners and why that timing changes everything The three questions women ask most about forgiveness Why refusing to forgive yourself is not love or humility Why God's primary posture toward you is love and protection, not punishment What it means to come home to the Father This is the foundation everything else is built on. Without this, nothing else holds. After you listen, would email me and tell me what landed? I read every one and I respond personally. This is a relationship, not a broadcast. Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: www.learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: [email protected]

🌊 Curious about the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) Why do I feel so alone after my affair? How do I find someone safe to tell? And what actually happens in my brain when I'm finally known? Today's episode answers these with personal story, brain science, and Scripture. Because here's the truth: you were never designed to heal in secret. And the research backs it up. Princeton neuroscientist Uri Hasson found that when a speaker shares a story and a listener truly receives it, their brain activity begins to synchronize. You are literally no longer neurologically alone in your story. And every time you name something true and someone holds it with care, your brain builds a new pathway. One where safety feels possible and shame loses its grip. We explore: Why "if anyone really knew, they'd leave" is a lie and how I kept proving it wrong with coworkers, church friends, and even my mom The Princeton brain science behind speaker-listener neural coupling and why healing needs a witness, not just willpower Psalm 139: what it means to be fully known and still called wonderfully made and how that becomes the template for human safety 4 practical markers of a safe person: body intuition, shared faith, continued community, and fruit on their tree Why being known once isn't enough and why community is part of the healing mechanism, not a bonus If you don't have that safe person yet, I’d love to be part of building that answer. The Encounter Retreat is September 25–27 in Panama City Beach. Email me the word RETREAT and let's talk. Let's Connect:  📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: [email protected]

🌊 Ready for the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) Have you ever wondered if God can even hear your prayers when you're living in sin? Have you felt the weight of believing that if you run home to Him, you'll be met with disappointment? Today I'm sitting down with Heather O'Brien, healing coach, author, and host of the Heal With God podcast, for one of the most practically powerful conversations I've had on this show. Heather helps Christians who love Jesus but still feel stuck, learn how to hear God clearly, heal deeply, and walk it out. And in this conversation, she gave me tools I genuinely wish I'd had years ago. We explore: Why feeling blocked from God while living in sin is more about us than Him The critical difference between God's loving correction and condemnation Two of the most healing prayers you can pray: "God, it hurt when...and it made me feel..." The question that can surface hidden lies about who God is: "What lie am I believing about You right now?" Why healing in a faith-based space is radically different from healing anywhere else If you've been crying into your pillow without bringing it to God, this one is for you 💙 Connect with Heather O'Brien: 🌐 Free monthly Heal With God Workshop: www.healwithgodworkshop.com 🎙 Podcast: Heal With God, available on all podcast platforms   After you listen, email me and tell me what landed! I read every single one 🤍 If this episode stirred something deeper, a longing to go further in a room full of safe women, the Encounter Retreat is September 25–27 in Panama City Beach, FL. Email me the word RETREAT and let's talk more. Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: [email protected]

🌊 Ready for the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) You cut contact. You're doing the work. And he's still showing up in your head! Uninvited, frustrating, relentless. Today I'm giving you the neuroscience behind why that's happening, and a practical framework for what to do when it does. This is a part 2 to EP 123 on limerence, and it goes deeper into two specific brain mechanisms: the Default Mode Network and attachment protest behavior. We explore: What the Default Mode Network is and why your idle moments are when the thoughts are loudest Attachment protest behavior and why cutting contact can actually make the longing feel stronger before it gets quieter Why certain triggers fire the thought even when you've been doing well The shift from shame to curiosity: asking "what does this thought tell me about what I need right now?" instead of "why can't this stop?" Practical tools for the idle moments Next time the thought arrives, pause and ask, what does this tell me about what I need right now? Write it down. That's where healing starts. 🕊️ Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: [email protected] 

🌊 Ready for the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) "Am I allowed to be happy when my husband is still hurting because of me?" That's the question a client asked me, and I've heard versions of it more times than I can count. Today I'm answering it directly, with theology, with neuroscience, and with my own story of accidentally putting joy on hold for far longer than I needed to. We explore: The hidden belief underneath every "I don't deserve joy" thought (and why it’s a lie) Psalm 16:11 and what it actually means that fullness of joy is in His presence, not at the end of your healing journey Why your suffering is not helping anyone The difference between Regulating Joy and Expansive Joy How to build your own Expansive Joy Menu Email me and let me know what your JOY activity will be this week! 🕊️ Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: [email protected]

🌊 Ready for the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) For years during my affair I felt like the poster child for hypocrite every time I tried to pray, take communion, or lead devotions. Shame told me I had no right. That God doesn't hear prayers when you're living in sin. Today I want to talk about what actually broke that loop for me, and what it means to have a real encounter with God, not just information, after walking away from Him. We explore: Why willpower and devotionals alone will never be enough The pattern you cannot miss in Scripture: every person who walked into something significant first had an encounter with God What Psalm 23 and the prodigal son showed me about whether I was still welcome The grounding phrase that has anchored my entire healing journey: be present where your feet are How to create the conditions for a real encounter P.S. Want the 7-day devotional that walks through the Scriptures that were most influential in my own healing? Email me the word DEVOTIONAL and I'll send you the link! 🕊️ Let's Connect: 🙏 Grab your 7-Day Devotional HERE  📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: [email protected]

🌊 Ready for the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) Closeness after an affair doesn't come back all at once, and you can't think your way into it. Today I'm getting practical and a little scientific about what actually rebuilds intimacy in a marriage after infidelity: oxytocin, the bonding hormone, and five simple ways to start activating it at home. We explore: What oxytocin actually is, why betrayal disrupts it, and why you need to rebuild it at the biological level before closeness will feel natural again Why your internal posture matters more than any tactic Five practical, science-backed ways to rebuild oxytocin Why joy is not a betrayal of the seriousness of your healing- it's part of how you rebuild Pick one of these five this week, and let me know how it goes! Not because you have to. Because you're choosing your healing 🕊️ Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: [email protected]

🌊 Ready for the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) There is a kind of lonely in affair recovery that doesn't have a name in most churches...and today I'm naming it. If you've ever looked at GriefShare, DivorceCare, or Celebrate Recovery and thought I don't quite fit here, you're not alone. The grief of ending an affair is real, it's disenfranchised, and most women carry it in complete silence. Today I want to change that. We explore: What disenfranchised grief is and why affair recovery fits the definition perfectly How shame becomes the architect of isolation An honest look at the support options that exist What actually happened in my body and nervous system the first time safe women kept eye contact when I told my story Why complete, God-transforming healing cannot happen in isolation: theologically, physiologically, and relationally You were never meant to heal in secret, dear friend 🫶 Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: [email protected]

🌊 Ready for the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) What if everything you've been doing to earn your way back isn't actually making you more worthy? The over-serving, the shrinking, the never asking, the carrying your healing alone.  Today I'm reframing one of the most quietly damaging beliefs I see in women after an affair: that worthiness is something you have to earn back through enough sacrifice and self-erasure. It isn't. And Psalm 23 changed everything for me around that. We explore: The self-abandonment treadmill called selflessness The Psalm 23 moment that shifted everything What Jesus actually meant by "love your neighbor as yourself" A real conversation with a private client about whether you're allowed to have an experience, a voice, and needs after causing harm What worthiness actually feels like when you receive it instead of trying to earn it Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: [email protected]

🌊 Ready for the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) I want to tell you about the kitchen table I sat down at in 2022. In a beach house I almost didn't go to, with coaches I barely knew, carrying a secret I was convinced I would take to my grave. What happened at that table is the reason this podcast exists. And it is the reason I am building something for you this September. We explore: “You belong here” What happened when my secret came pouring out Who I was when I walked in and who I was when I flew home Why nine out of ten women in this community say "this is the first time I've ever talked to anyone who understands," and what I'm doing about it The Encounter Retreat is September 25–27 in Panama City Beach, Florida. Ten spots. If something stirred while you listened, DM me the word RETREAT. Let's talk. 🕊️ Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: [email protected]

🌊 Ready for the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) Three years. 128 episodes. 52,000 downloads. And so many of you who showed up in ways I never anticipated when I hit record for the very first time. This episode is not a teaching. It's a thank you. I'm pulling back the curtain on what this podcast has actually looked like behind the scenes, sharing what I never told you about why I started it, and celebrating what we have built together: not just a podcast, but a sisterhood and community. We explore: Why I almost stayed on Instagram, and what drew me to start a podcast instead What recording has really looked like behind the scenes The surprising pattern that’s kept me going What "intimacy after infidelity" actually means at its heart If this podcast has ever encouraged you, made you feel less alone, or given you hope when you needed it, would you leave a review on Apple Podcasts? It takes 30 seconds and it helps another woman who is searching right now find her way here and know she’s not alone. Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: [email protected]

🌊 Ready for the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) For three years I have told (many) parts of my story. Today I'm telling the whole thing. The parts I've protected, the patterns I've never named publicly, the nights that still live in my body when I think about that season. If you are going to trust me with your story, you deserve to know mine. Let’s talk about: The specific thing I carried the most shame about The cyclical and time-of-day patterns I noticed in my own temptation Two specific memories that still live in my body: the locked bedroom and the shower floor The truth about relapsing after a breakthrough If even one moment of this episode gave you a flicker of maybe that's possible for me too, would you share it with one woman who needs it? You might be the reason she finds her way home. 🕊️ Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: [email protected] 

🌊 Ready for the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) You know you need to move on.You’ve made the decision. You’ve done the work. So why do you still feel stuck? Why are you still asking why can't I let go? Today, I break down what's actually happening when transition feels hard (or impossible), why grief after a right decision is not failure, and the practical difference between waiting for healing and choosing it. Let’s look at Ecclesiastes 3, Isaiah 43, and Philippians 3 to see what God says about new seasons of life and new chapters. We’ll explore: Why grieving a season you chose to leave is not a sign something's wrong Naming the thoughts that keep you looking backward Why transition requires both time and a decision (and which one comes first) How to use The Model to find your sovereignty in a season that feels out of control You were never meant to navigate this alone. Come find your people. 🕊️ Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: [email protected]

🌊 Ready for the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) What if the thing standing between you and healing isn't shame, or willpower, or even the affair partner, but fear? Not the fear of failing, but the quieter, more confusing fear that whispers: if I actually heal, I'm giving up a lot, and I don't know who I'll be. Today I'm naming three fears I see most often in women navigating affair recovery, including the one I've never said out loud quite like this before. The fear of losing him. The fear of an unknown path. And the fear of losing an identity that, painful as it is, has become familiar. This episode is for the woman who wants to heal and also doesn't. Who knows the right thing and still can't seem to do it. Who is tired of fighting herself and ready to understand what's actually going on underneath. You'll learn: Why resistance to healing is not weakness (it's a protective part of you doing its job) The IFS framework for getting curious about fear instead of shaming it into silence What I was personally afraid to lose Why identity crisis isn't the obstacle to healing. It is the healing Your one step: write down what you're afraid to lose. That answer is not weakness. It's where your healing needs to go next. Then let's chat! Let's Connect: 🌿 Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough  💌 Email: [email protected]

🌊 Ready for the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) The affair doesn't survive on feelings alone. It survives on lies. Carefully constructed, completely convincing stories your brain tells you so you can keep going and still sleep at night. Today I'm naming the five lies I told myself to stay in my affair. Not to shame you, but because naming the lie is the first crack in its power. And you cannot be free from something you haven't been willing to look at clearly. I walk through each lie honestly and share the Scripture or personal truth that finally broke through each one. If you've told yourself any of these, this episode is for you. We cover: Why "I can stop whenever I want" is the lie that keeps you from asking for the help you actually need What Paul says in Romans 6 about using grace as a reason to delay The harm you couldn't see because it was happening to you, not around you Why "no one will ever know" is not a freedom plan The "he'll fall apart without me" lie The one sentence structure that cancels your conscience every single time Want a safe community of women walking this out together? Come join our free Facebook group. Let's Connect: 🌿 Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough  💌 Email: [email protected]

🌊 Ready for the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) What if your obsession wasn't a character flaw? What if the intrusive thoughts, the emotional dependency, the way your entire inner world revolved around whether he responded...what if that had a name? Today I'm teaching on limerence, one of the most important concepts I cover with my clients, and one that almost no one in the Christian faith space is talking about. I share the research of psychologist Dorothy Tennov, the neuroscience of what limerence actually does to your brain (dopamine, intermittent reinforcement, affair fog), and what it felt like inside of my own story. Then, let’s draw a clear theological line: limerence itself is not sin. God created us to bond and connect. But I walk you through exactly where it crosses the mark, and then give you two practical steps to start moving forward without shame. You'll learn: What limerence is and why it matters for your healing today The neuroscience of why you couldn't just stop Why your prefrontal cortex went offline and what that means about the choices you made The honest theological answer to "is limerence a sin?" Practical steps to interrupt the loop and redirect the longing toward what it’s actually looking for Why you are not weak and what healing actually requires If today's episode gives you language for something you've been carrying, I want to talk with you! Schedule a free connection call at the link below. No pressure, no shame. Just a safe conversation.   Let's Connect: 🌿 Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough  💌 Email: [email protected]

🌊 Ready for the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) What if healing wasn't about trying harder, but about experiencing something different? Today I'm introducing one of the most powerful concepts I teach my clients, and giving it a name you'll use for the rest of your healing journey: the corrective experience. A corrective experience happens when someone responds to you in a way that directly contradicts what shame and past wounds taught you to expect. And when that happens, your brain actually rewires. Not just intellectually. Physiologically. I walk you through the neuroscience behind it, two Scriptural examples, and my own personal story of learning to trust myself around men again. And yeah, there was a retreat last year that made me cry with gratitude. Then I give you the practical steps to start collecting corrective experiences on purpose, so that every brave moment, every safe relationship, every right choice gets filed as evidence of who you are becoming. You'll learn: What a corrective experience is and why insight alone never changes deep patterns How Jesus modeled corrective experiences with Peter and the woman caught in adultery Why grace has to land in the body before direction can land in the mind My personal story of rewriting the belief "I can't be around men without crossing a line" Steps to notice and collect corrective experiences starting today Why healing in community accelerates what healing alone cannot You are not just being forgiven. You are being rewired. DM me and tell me one corrective experience that has already happened in your life! I want to witness it with you. Let's Connect: 🌿 Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough  💌 Email: [email protected]

🌊 Ready for the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭) 💙 This episode is personal, and I think that's exactly why you need it. Today I'm answering the questions I wished someone had asked me during my own affair recovery. Not the polished, coaching-voice answers, but the real ones. The one about sitting at my kitchen table asking God who I was when everything was stripped away. The one about the spiritual practices that actually moved the needle. The one about relapse, temptation, and whether it really does get better. The one about what freedom actually feels like when it finally arrives. If you've been listening for a while and you want to know me better (not just as coach), this episode is for you. Also: WE HIT 50,000 PODCAST DOWNLOADS 🎉 And I’m celebrating with a giveaway!  Leave a review on Apple Podcasts Screenshot it DM it to me on Instagram or Facebook to be entered to win one of two FREE 1:1 coaching sessions. Today, let’s explore: How I rebuilt my identity after the affair The spiritual practices that actually helped beyond the obvious ones How safe community found me The truth about relapse and temptation What freedom looks and feels like now If this episode opened something in you, I'd love to hear from you. You are not too far gone. You never were. Let's Connect: 🌿 Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough  💌 Email: [email protected]

This episode is unlike anything I've done before, and I think it might be exactly what you need today. If you are the woman sitting in fresh shame- newly caught, newly confessed, newly trying to end something and not knowing who you are on the other side of it, this episode was created specifically for you.  Today we step inside the story of the woman caught in adultery from John 8, not as observers, but as participants. I guide you through an experiential visualization so that you don't just know what Jesus said to her, you get to feel what it's like to be her, in that moment, when He speaks. Because forgiveness and acceptance isn't only something to study. It's something to experience in your body, your heart, and your whole being. We explore: Why Jesus knelt down and got quiet while everyone else was loud The historical context of John 8 that most people miss A guided visualization that invites you into the scene as the woman herself Why grace always comes before direction and the science of why your body needs safety before it can receive next steps The declaration that can interrupt your shame spiral today If this episode opened something in you, I want to hear from you. You don't need the right words, just reach out. I would be honored to be a safe place for you.   Let's Connect: 🌿 Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/apply  💬 Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity 📲 Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching 💌 Email: [email protected] 

You said you wouldn't. And then you did. If you broke no contact with your affair partner and you don't know what to do now, this episode is for you. Not with shame. Not with a lecture. With honesty, compassion, and a clear path forward. I'm sharing my own story of breaking no contact more times than I can count, what I learned from it, and the five steps I walk women through when this happens. Because it does happen, and it doesn't mean you're starting over. We explore: Why breaking no contact doesn't mean you're back at zero How to find a safe person who will give you both compassion and truth What repentance actually means (it's not what you think!) Why grounding your body comes before any big decision How to re-evaluate your no-contact plan so it actually holds How to anchor into a "why" that is louder than the longing If you're sitting in the shame of a slip right now, you need this conversation. You're not broken. You're becoming. And your next right step is closer than you think. If you want a safe person to reach out to, I'm happy to be that person. DM me and just say "I need to talk" and we'll go from there.   Let's Connect: 🌿 Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/apply  💬 Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity 📲 Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching 💌 Email: [email protected] 

Sister, I know there’s a part of you that still wants him. Even after no contact. Even after you’ve decided to move forward. Even after you know the truth. So what do you do with that? In this episode, we’re talking about how to: understand the part of you that still feels attached remove shame around desire recognize the deeper need underneath the longing and begin choosing something different without forcing yourself You’ll learn why desire doesn’t make you weak, how to gently lead yourself forward, and what it looks like to grow your readiness for change. You don’t have to fight yourself to heal. You can learn to lead yourself with truth and compassion.   Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/apply  Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching Email: [email protected] 

Today, I talk honestly about something many women feel but don’t know how to explain- the addictive pull toward an affair partner. If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “Why can’t I just stop?” you’re not alone. The pull toward an affair partner can feel intense, confusing, and even out of your control, leaving you questioning your strength, your faith, and your ability to move forward. In today’s episode, we take an honest look at what’s really happening beneath the surface. I share my own experience of feeling pulled back again and again, why it felt like a consuming addiction, and how both neuroscience and faith help explain the cycle, bring clarity, compassion, and hope for real change. We explore: Why an affair can feel addictive (and what’s happening in your brain) The role of dopamine, bonding, and emotional highs/lows Why this doesn’t mean you’re weak or broken How sin and spiritual dynamics can keep us feeling stuck The first steps to breaking the cycle and moving forward Why awareness alone isn’t enough and what actually leads to change If you’re ready to understand your experience with compassion and take your next step toward freedom, this episode is for you 🤍   Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/apply  Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching Email: [email protected] 

What does real freedom actually look like for a woman who's trying to walk away from her affair, but whose heart hasn't caught up yet? In today's episode, I'm unpacking Romans 13:8-14 and challenging the version of freedom most of us were never taught to question. Because freedom was never meant to mean "no limits." It was meant to mean the right ones, rooted in love, grounded in salvation, and lived out in the light. If you're the woman whose brain is trying to make the decision but whose heart is still silently longing, this episode is for you. I talk honestly about the grief of walking away, the difference between forgiveness and cleanup, and what it practically looks like to stop making room for what's slowly destroying you and start living like the woman you actually want to become. In this episode we explore: Why the freedom most of us are chasing is actually dressed-up bondage What Romans 13 says about love as the foundation of every boundary Why forgiveness and cleanup are two separate things The most powerful prayer you can pray this year What "belonging to the daylight" looks like practically Why your emotions are information, not instructions If you're craving a place where you don't have to pretend you have it all together and where the temptation is named, the grief is honored, and the healing is real, I'd love to connect with you. You were never meant to carry this alone. And you don't have to anymore. Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/apply  Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching Email: [email protected]

You ended the affair… but now you’re left wondering, “What do I actually do next?” This in-between season can feel overwhelming. Your emotions are all over the place, your thoughts are pulling you in different directions, and you’re trying to move forward without a clear path. In today’s episode, I walk you through what those first days and weeks can really look like. I share my own experience from that season, what I wish I had known, and the most important steps to focus on so you don’t feel lost, pulled back into old patterns, or trying to figure it all out on your own. We explore: Why ending the affair is just the beginning, not the finish line How to get all parts of you on the same page (so you don’t fight yourself) What it looks like to intentionally show up in your marriage Why creating space for healing is essential, not optional The power of safe community and why you can’t do this alone What is NOT a priority in the first few weeks (and why that matters) If you’re in this tender in-between season, this episode will help you take your next step with clarity and support 🤍 Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/apply  Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching Email: [email protected]

If you’ve been asking yourself, “Do I really need to tell him?” you’re not alone. This is one of the most complex and emotional decisions after an affair, especially when you’re trying to do the right thing, honor God, and also consider the impact your words could have moving forward. In today’s episode, I share my own experience of wrestling with this decision, what led me to choose confession, and how to approach this question with both Biblical conviction and practical wisdom. Because this isn’t about a one-size-fits-all answer. It’s about learning how to discern what obedience looks like in your specific situation. We explore: Whether confession is always necessary after an affair The Biblical perspective on obedience and personal conviction Important safety considerations before sharing the truth How to wisely decide what details to share Practical guidance for having the conversation if you choose to confess If you’re the woman who never thought this would be part of your story, but you’re trying to discern what honesty and healing look like now, you don’t have to navigate these decisions alone. You’re not meant to heal alone, and you don’t have to anymore 💙   Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/apply  Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching Email: [email protected]

If you’ve been asking yourself, “What am I supposed to do about my marriage after everything that’s happened?” You’re not alone. This is one of the most weighty and personal questions you’ll face in this season, and it’s not something that can be answered with a simple rule or quick advice from someone else. In today’s episode, I walk you through the same kind of questions I had to wrestle with in my own journey. I share how I learned to move beyond what I thought I should do, how I began to hear my own honest voice, and how bringing everything back to God, again and again, started to bring the clarity I was searching for. We explore: The five questions that can help guide your decision about your marriage after an affair • Why no one else can give you a simple rule for what you should do • The importance of emotional, physical, and spiritual safety in your marriage • How learning to speak your honest truth with God can unlock clarity • Why wise counsel matters, and how to bring it back to the Holy Spirit If you’re the woman who never thought this would be part of your story, but you’re trying to discern what God may be asking of you now, you don’t have to carry that question alone. There is a path to healing, and it begins with honesty, wisdom, and safe community. You’re not meant to navigate this season alone 🤍 Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/apply  Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching Email: [email protected] 

If you’ve found yourself wondering, “Is he a narcissist… or is this just the fallout from everything that happened?” you’re not alone. This is one of the most confusing and emotionally loaded questions women ask after an affair, especially when you’re trying to take responsibility for your part while also making sense of the dynamics around you. In today’s episode, we slow things down and bring clarity to a word that gets thrown around a lot but isn’t always understood. I share from my own experience of first hearing this term in counseling, what it brought up for me, and how we can begin to discern what’s actually happening, without jumping to labels, blame, or more confusion. We explore: What the word “narcissist” actually means and why it’s often misunderstood • The nine core traits associated with Narcissistic Personality Disorder • Why labeling people too quickly can keep us stuck • How to discern the difference between affair fallout and deeper relational patterns • Why healthy boundaries are not unloving — and how Jesus modeled them If you’re the woman who never thought this would be part of your story, but you’re trying to understand the deeper dynamics in your marriage, you don’t have to carry those questions alone. You’re not meant to heal alone, and you don’t have to anymore 🤍   Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/apply  Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching Email: [email protected] 

You confessed. You tried to cut contact. You told yourself this time would be different… and yet somehow, you still feel pulled back into the same cycle. Today, we’re talking honestly about why that happens and why “I should be over this by now” isn’t actually helping you move forward. Because breaking the cycle isn’t about trying harder, it’s about understanding what’s really going on underneath the surface. I share my own experience of feeling stuck in that back-and-forth pattern, what finally helped me shift out of it, and how you can begin taking your next step forward with compassion, clarity, and support. We explore: Why some women continue returning to an affair partner even after confession The role shame and self-pressure play in keeping women stuck Why traditional advice often focuses on the mind while ignoring emotional and nervous-system connection The power of hearing “me too” from someone who understands your story Why honest connection with safe people can be the turning point in healing If you’re the woman who never thought this would be part of your story, but you’re still trying to find your way forward, you don’t have to carry this alone. There is a path to freedom, and it begins with compassion, honesty, and safe community. You’re not meant to heal alone, and you don’t have to anymore 🤍 Related episodes: Episode 106: Why you still feel stuck even when you’re doing everything “right” Episode 99: Rebuilding self-trust after breaking your promises.   Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/apply  Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching Email: [email protected] 

There’s a part of affair recovery that rarely gets talked about, but it matters. Today, we’re having an honest, compassionate conversation about the physical realities, including whether STD testing is something to consider. So much of this journey focuses on the emotional, spiritual, and relational healing, but your body matters too. In this episode, we gently explore what it looks like to care for your physical health without spiraling into fear or shame. I share my own wake-up moment that made this reality feel very real, the emotions that can surface around this topic, and how to approach it with wisdom, honesty, and grounded peace. We explore: - Why STD testing can feel overwhelming or triggering - The shame, denial, and avoidance many women experience around this topic - Why avoiding the question doesn’t protect you—but clarity can - How to approach this with wisdom, not fear - How to hold the tension between God’s grace and real-life consequences - What it looks like to invite God into even the most uncomfortable decisions If you’ve been avoiding this question or feeling unsure what to do next, this episode will help you take a grounded, compassionate step forward 🤍   Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/apply  Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching Email: [email protected] 

Healing can feel unexpectedly lonely once the crisis passes and life returns to “normal.” Today, I talk honestly about a deeper layer many women experience but rarely say out loud: the double standard in affair recovery, and why it often feels like women carry the weight of shame while men are given more space to “struggle.”   I share my own experience of searching for resources and finding none, the internal shame that filled that silence, and why so many women feel unseen in this journey.   We explore: - Why women often carry more visible shame after an affair - The gap in resources for women navigating their own betrayal story - How shame keeps women silent and reinforces the feeling of isolation - Why the Church and culture haven’t always known how to hold women in this well - How we begin to shift the culture by becoming safe, honest, connected women   If you’ve ever felt like you’re the only one- you’re not. And you don’t have to carry this alone anymore 🤍   Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/apply  Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching Email: [email protected] 

Have you been telling yourself it’s not the right time to heal yet? In this episode, I talk about the quiet cost of waiting and why silence often deepens shame, disconnection, and emotional exhaustion instead of protecting us. This conversation reframes healing as a container for support, not a decision about your marriage. You’ll hear: Why waiting to heal can quietly cost more than we realize How silence impacts self-trust, intimacy, and spiritual connection Why healing doesn’t require certainty, permission, or urgency The difference between delaying healing and choosing compassionate movement A gentle invitation to begin, without pressure or fear If you’re realizing something feels missing, or you’re tired of carrying your healing quietly, I’d love to connect. You’re allowed to begin right where you are.   Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/apply  Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching Email: [email protected] 

After an affair, many women quietly carry the belief that ongoing pain is their punishment, that joy would be inappropriate, blessings should be withheld, and suffering proves repentance. In this episode, I name and gently dismantle The Punishment Lie, the idea that healing must hurt in order to count. We explore the difference between responsibility and self-punishment, how shame shows up in the body, and what Scripture actually says about repentance, restoration, and God’s heart toward you. In this episode, you’ll hear: Why shame keeps you stuck even after confession How self-punishment masquerades as holiness The nervous-system impact of carrying chronic blame A more accurate, compassionate picture of God’s restorative design A gentle reflection to help you release unnecessary suffering If you’re realizing that silence, shame, or self-punishment has been quietly costing you peace, clarity, or intimacy with God, I’d love to connect with you.   Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/apply  Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching Email: [email protected] 

If you’ve done all the “right things” after an affair- therapy, confession, accountability, prayer, and still feel heavy, confused, or disconnected from yourself...this episode is for you. In this conversation, I talk about why healing can feel incomplete, even when you’re trying so hard. And how managing your healing is very different from actually feeling it. This isn’t about doing more or fixing yourself. It’s about learning how to let God meet you in your real emotions, not just your behavior. In this episode, you’ll hear: Why healing can stall when we focus on performance instead of presence How “doing everything right” can still leave you disconnected from yourself The difference between managing your healing and actually feeling it Why God isn’t asking you to rush, prove, or perfect your recovery A gentle reflection to help you notice where you might be avoiding your own heart If you’re realizing something still feels missing, or you’re tired of carrying your healing quietly, I’d love to connect with you.   ✨ Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/apply  Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching Email: [email protected] 

If you’ve been wondering why your head wants to move forward but your heart and body haven’t followed yet, this episode is for you.   Today I talk about why desire doesn’t return on command after an affair, why pressure and obligation actually delay healing, and how your nervous system plays a crucial role in rebuilding intimacy. We explore why feeling avoidant, numb, or repelled does not mean something is wrong with you and how learning to listen to your body is an essential part of whole-being healing.   In this episode, I share: Why your body may still be guarded even after cutting contact How desire is rooted in safety, not willpower The difference between forcing healing and honoring your pace Why listening to your body builds self-trust and clarity How desire often returns sideways through safety, compassion, and agency I also share a gentle reflection question to help you begin reconnecting with yourself without shame or pressure. If you’re tired of trying to force feelings that aren’t ready yet, and you want support that honors your body, faith, and healing pace, I’d love to walk with you.   You are not broken. You are healing, and you don’t have to do it alone.   Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/apply  Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching Email: [email protected] 

Healing can feel unexpectedly lonely once the crisis passes and life returns to “normal.” Today, I talk honestly about the quiet middle season of recovery. When you’re functioning again but still healing, still tender, and wondering who you’re supposed to talk to now. I share my own experience of navigating that loneliness, why healing doesn’t end after things change, and why community is essential (not optional!) in this season. We explore: Why loneliness often shows up after things calm down The gap many women feel in affair recovery resources Why journaling and prayer matter but aren’t meant to replace safe relationships How God provides “daily manna” for healing, not the full map at once If you’re craving a place where you don’t have to rush or pretend you’re “over it,” I’d love to connect with you. You’re not meant to heal alone, and you don’t have to anymore 🤍 --- Let’s Connect: Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity  Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching Email: [email protected] Let’s work together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com

Can we normalize the emotional backlash that often follows confession, cutting contact, and choosing healing? In today's episode, I share my own experience of how the early weeks after ending my affair felt heavier, not lighter, and why that doesn’t mean healing isn’t working. We talk about: - Why grief, loneliness, and temptation intensify before freedom settles in - The danger of “shoulds” and rushing the healing process - How God designed growth, repair, and restoration to unfold over time - Why your nervous system needs compassion, not pressure - How community provides a safe place to land in the middle of the mess I f you’re in a season where healing feels hard and emotions feel louder, this episode is a reminder: you are not failing! You are healing. You don’t have to carry this alone 🤍 --- Let’s Connect: Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity  Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching Email: [email protected] Let’s work together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com

This episode is for the woman who wants to live honestly, but also wisely. In this conversation, I share my own experience navigating whether to tell friends and family about the affair, why discernment matters more than pressure, and how to tell the difference between blunt honesty and emotional safety. We talk about why not everyone is equipped to hold your story, how to identify safe people, and why healing often needs a cocoon before it needs an audience. If you’ve felt torn between wanting to be fully known and wanting to protect your heart, this episode will bring clarity, relief, and permission to move slowly. You don’t have to carry this alone 🤍 --- Let’s Connect: Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching Email: [email protected] Let’s work together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com

✨ Free Masterclass coming February 23! The Cost of Silence is a free training for Christian women who had an affair and are tired of managing their healing alone. Register now to join us! www.kristinajoycoaching.com/masterclass   In today’s episode, I’m joined by Brittany Poppe, Christian Abortion Recovery Coach and podcast host of Abortion Recovery for Christian Women. We talk about the emotional and spiritual aftermath of abortion, the role of silence and shame in women’s healing, and how God restores hearts through truth, compassion, and community. This conversation is honest, tender, and hope-filled, especially for women who feel alone in their story and unsure how to move forward with God.   Connect with Brittany: www.brittanypoppe.com Hear the podcast: Abortion Recovery for Christian Women Instagram: www.instagram.com/brittanypoppe   Connect with Kristina: Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching Email: [email protected] Let’s work together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com