Mothercentered

From my album Sticks & Stones, this song is about having to be firm with boundaries in my relationship with my mom, who was abusive and alcoholic. It's very much about my own healing and health - and how hard it is to differentiate from a mom who tells you you're terrible.A central theme explores how our relationships reflect our own feelings and beliefs, and how we create our own reality in some ways. The chorus reminds us: "You get what you give, that's just how it is. Love is conditional."This song captures the painful work of setting boundaries with someone who shaped your earliest sense of self, and the journey toward understanding that the love we receive is often a mirror of what we're able to give—to ourselves and others.My album Sticks & Stones by Red Letter is available wherever you stream music.My book When Good Moms Feel Bad is available everywhere you buy books.For more information and to join the community go to momparts.com

"Midlife is this time where we are ready to bring all the wisdom we've collected through the years, gather that up and integrate it, and bring it out into the world more fully as our authentic true gifts." —Daphne OgleOn this episode we're talking about midlife, motherhood, and trusting ourselves with Daphne Ogle.Midlife women are the people who will make the much-needed shift in the world - the shift to power with, to being in love and presence, gathering all our wisdom and bringing it out authenticallySo many women carry the old story "I have to do it all myself." When motherhood hits, there's so much more to do, we struggle and fall apart and shame keeps us from talking about it.The "soul toothache" is when who you are becoming doesn't fit your life anymore; it's painful, but it's the starting point for deep transformational work.Coming back to yourself isn't reinvention - it's gathering all the pieces of yourself, integrating them, and asking "now what from here?"We can't always change the systems, but we can honor people's uniqueness—helping them crack their own code so they make sense to themselves in a world where they don't always feel like they belongDaphne OgleTransformational Coach | Soul-Aligned Life + Work Design Guidewww.daphneoglecoaching.com | 510-846-8237

"I remember my therapist pointed out I was using very strong words, like I was preparing for battle. That really shocked me. But yeah, I was feeling protective over my space, over my baby's experience. That was Mama Bear. She was sharpening her claws." —Cassie BlomOn this episode we're talking about Mama Bear parts with Cassie Blom.Mama Bear shows up with physical and emotional power to guard what needs protection—but she doesn't always know the difference between discomfort and actual threat.Mama Bear is critical in transforming us from people-pleasing girls into mothers who can say "fuck that, I am this child's mother, get out of my way."Getting curious about what Mama Bear perceives as threatening and to whom (you? baby? your childhood self?) helps her relax and allows other energy in.Until Mama Bear feels validated and heard, she's going to run things—we have to get soft and squishy with her, pull up a seat, and become her ally.Mama Bear can help us understand our values—she often reacts to values we didn't even know we held so tightly, and threats to those values.Cassie Blom: www.cassieblom.com.My book When Good Moms Feel Bad is available everywhere you buy books.For more information and to join the community go to momparts.com

"I'm planning for a healthy pregnancy and also planning for a loss. If the baby dies now, what do I need to do? That's a little weird. People who haven't had loss aren't thinking through all that." —RalucaOn this episode we're talking about being pregnant at 45 with Raluca.After three pregnancy losses and being told the odds were really small, this fourth pregnancy feels like a miracle—but the further along she gets, the more she has to loseBeing 45 meant having time to reparent herself, establish her career, and live her best life before becoming a mom—giving everything to someone else won't feel like she didn't get enoughHolding the polarities of excitement and fear means planning for both a healthy baby and potential loss—a level of sophistication that comes from experience with griefMental health support shouldn't only be available to "identified patients"—normal prenatal care should include conversations about sleep, postpartum planning, and protecting mom's wellbeingThree losses taught deep compassion for patients experiencing loss and vulnerability in pregnancy—understanding how fragile everything is makes the preciousness of being here more realMy book When Good Moms Feel Bad is available everywhere you buy books.For more information and to join the community go to momparts.com

"One of the hardest things in motherhood was that I didn't get all of this time anymore to just disappear into my thoughts and think. That feels like such a luxury." —Rebecca Lesser Allen On this episode we're talking about Numbing Parts with Rebecca Lesser Allen.Your numbing part helps you tune out when emotions feel overwhelming—it dulls your awareness so you don't have to feel the discomfort, fear, or sadness swirling inside youNumbing can be protective against anger or despair—when you feel helpless and powerless with a crying baby or tantruming kid, disconnecting feels like the only alternative to rageWhat looks like numbing is often craving solitude on a nervous system level—moms need reprieve from constant interaction, touch, noise, and demandsMemory gaps from stressful periods aren't signs of failure—dissociation is how we get through overwhelming moments, and it deserves compassion, not judgmentRebecca Lesser Allen [email protected] book When Good Moms Feel Bad is available everywhere you buy books.For more information and to join the community go to momparts.com

"My responsible part kept me very high functioning for a very long time. It worked really great until it didn't. When the demands of motherhood and working became too much, the self-recrimination started." —Angele CloseOn this episode we're talking about Responsible Parts with Angele Close.The responsible part is a parentified child that feels burdened, overwhelmed, and disempowered—it didn't ask for this role and doesn't feel grounded in it by choiceThe responsible part gets positive reinforcement and keeps you high functioning, but when demands become too much, it triggers a cascade of self-recrimination and feelings of failureWhen something goes wrong (like finding out your child has seven cavities), the responsible part interprets it as total failure and triggers deep shame about being a bad momMoms struggle with what they're actually responsible for as kids get older—the basics are clear with babies, but the gray areas create anxiety about what reflects on usBeing responsive versus being responsible means noticing what each child needs and shifting your behavior to match—sometimes that's giving space and backing off as they seek autonomyDr. Angele Close https://www.drangeleclose.com/Angele’s new book - Unburdening Motherhood: A Guide to Breaking Cycles, Healing Trauma, and Becoming a Self-Led MomMy book When Good Moms Feel Bad is available everywhere you buy books.For more information and to join the community go to momparts.com

Before becoming a therapist, I was a singer-songwriter for several decades. Music was how I expressed myself honestly as a teenager, almost like diary entries set to song. Recently, I unearthed some never-before-released songs and put together an album with my collaborator Frank Sorci, (my daughter's father).On this episode, I'm sharing a song called "Building a Blessing" that I wrote during my pregnancy with my daughter. It reflects the optimism and hope I felt as a mom-to-be—that I could change the intergenerational trauma I'd inherited by being a mother to this new human being.My greatest wish in life has been to discover what it is to be a good mom - because I missed that so much growing up. This song is a blessing for my daughter, and for my own matrescence.My album Sticks & Stones by Red Letter is available wherever you stream music.My book When Good Moms Feel Bad is available everywhere you buy books.For more information and to join the community go to momparts.com

"When reality is way too overwhelming and our nervous system is in overdrive, it naturally wants to do a little bit of a shutdown. Depression comes to say, 'Okay, take a break.'" —Ana MoranteOn this episode we're talking about Depressed Mom Parts with Ana Morante.Depression is a protector that tourniquets the wound when reality is too overwhelming—it shuts off contact with pain to keep you alive, but leaves you feeling numb and disconnectedDepression is deeply physiological—it can feel like somebody is sucking the life out of you, affecting both your emotional and physical systemThe critical piece is community support—when we know we're held by others, we can face the grief without fear of going down and never coming upSelf-compassion creates the space to say "yes, come here, I want to see you" instead of isolating or detaching from the painAna Morante: [email protected] book When Good Moms Feel Bad is available everywhere you buy books.For more information and to join the community go to momparts.com

"I'll tell my kids 'I'm really tired, I'm going to sit here for just a minute,' but then as soon as somebody needs something, I respond to it as though it's an urgent need, even when it's not." —Chelsea SolorzanoOn this episode we're talking about the Minimizer Part with Chelsea Solorzano.The Minimizer can look like vulnerability on the surface—you say the words about being overwhelmed or tired—but the words aren't attached to the feeling, so you keep performing and doing all the tasksWhen you say you need something but don't follow through, your parts stop believing you—it becomes lip service that reinforces more minimizingBuilding reliability and trust within your system means actually scheduling time for yourself and showing up for it, so your parts can relaxThe Minimizer is driven by fear of rejection and being too much—it sweeps big emotions under the rug because it doesn't believe it's safe to be anything but stoicChelsea Solorzano contact: [email protected] book When Good Moms Feel Bad is available everywhere you buy books.For more information and to join the community go to momparts.com

"Our children do not need perfection from us in order to be thriving human beings." —Michelle BrownOn this episode we're talking about Frustrated Parts with Michelle Brown.Frustration is often the first signal that something's not right—whether it's unmet needs, violated boundaries, or your nervous system being maxed outThe Frustrated part is one of the only socially acceptable expressions of maternal discontent, so it settles in and takes up a lot of spaceSpeaking for your Frustrated part (not from it) creates space—saying "Mama's feeling really frustrated right now" helps you unblend and allows your Inner Mom to care for both you and your childWhen we yell (and we will), we can model repair—coming back to acknowledge what happened shows our kids that lack of perfection is okayMichelle Brown contact: [email protected] book When Good Moms Feel Bad is available everywhere you buy books.For more information and to join the community go to momparts.com

"I got really good at not having wants. I learned how to practice that pretty effectively for a long, long time." —Kelly WilliamsOn this episode we're talking about the Wanting Part with Kelly Williams.Wanting is closely connected to hunger for intimacy, connection, being deeply seen—and it often gets pushed away in motherhoodThere can be a polarity inside mothers—one part wanting to be the most attuned parent, another part grieving that she didn't receive that in her own childhoodMotherhood invites us to forget ourselves—the practice is finding our way back to speaking on behalf of our own wantingWhen wanting is respected and nurtured, it brings vitality back into your life and reconnects you with who you are separate from motherhoodKelly Williams: kellywilliamsconsulting.comMy book When Good Moms Feel Bad is available everywhere you buy books.For more information and to join the community go to momparts.com

"We're designed to be vulnerable along with being strong."On this episode we're talking about Superwoman Parts with Jillian Early.Why Superwoman craves rescue and recognition but hides her craving masterfully—keeping her isolated and lonelyHow for some moms (single parents, those facing racism or economic hardship), being Superwoman isn't optional—it's survivalThe fear underneath: if I touch the grief that's there, it will swallow me whole—that's a luxury I can't affordJillian Early is a licensed clinical social worker specializing in maternal mental health. Connect with her at https://www.jillianearlylcsw.com/My book “When Good Moms Feel Bad” is available everywhere you buy books.For more information and to join the community go to momparts.com.

"No mom sets out intentionally saying 'I'm going to f*ck up my kids.'"On this episode we're talking about Guilty Mom Parts with Karen McWilliam.Why guilt can activate even when there's no real transgression—just violating social or familial expectationsHow guilt becomes a nexus point that can either spiral into shame or open toward compassionThe importance of intellectual parts in helping us make sense of overwhelming emotions without getting lost in themKaren McWilliam is a therapist specializing in transitions and maternal mental health. Connect with her at [email protected] book "When Good Moms Feel Bad" is available everywhere you buy books. For more information and to join the community go to momparts.com

"Being a mom doesn't mean that we don't have limits and needs."On this episode we're talking about Angry Parts with Rachel Brnjas.Why anger rarely makes it into the therapy room—the taboo of moms being angry and the courage it takes to share itHow anger protects something tender and is linked to shame, fear, and ideas of dangerWhy exploring your Angry part is actually safe and a loving way to help a part that's probably been exiledRachel Brnjas is a therapist at Tapestry Counseling Center. Connect with her at https://tapestrycc.com/ and on Instagram @tapestry.ccMy book "When Good Moms Feel Bad" is available everywhere you buy books. For more information and to join the community go to momparts.com

Welcome to Mothercentered!On this episode, Jessica shares about the origins of Mom Parts and her inspiration for creating the Mothercentered podcast.How Jessica encountered Internal Family Systems and how IFS changed her way of seeing humansWhy viewing motherhood through an IFS lens is so helpful for understanding our experiencesHow to develop a relationship with all the different parts of you—reactive, vulnerable, and protectiveLearning how to mother ourselvesMy book "When Good Moms Feel Bad" is available everywhere you buy books. For more information and to join the community go to momparts.com