Not so Secret Trauma

There are things that we have experienced in our lives that hold great significance. The memory of these things can impact many parts of our lives. Join Carrie and Christina as they talk about a recent experience of travelling back to the past and some of the revelations that came from it.

It is the small things that make a difference. Octavia Butler said - change yourself to change the world. Join Carrie and Christina as they discuss the importance of taking personal responsibility for your place and space in this world.

recently there has been themes floating in the air for both of us. The idea of transformation, embracing who we truly are, getting out of our own way... Butterflies. Join Carrie and Christina as they discuss their perspectives on these lessons and how they are impacting their lives. Also, some exciting updates for the coming months.

every day we hear things, we overhear the conversation in the booth next to us, we overhear what our coworker said to their client, and we hear things our partner says to us. When we listening we are learning things about the people in our lives. In a recent episode of the Lights On podcast Carl Lentz said - we hear by accident, we learn by listening. Join Carrie and Christina as they discuss this quote and how it can pertain it our daily lives

We often think about things we can be doing to better the world around us, how about the world inside of us? Carrie and Christina talk about the importance of protecting our inner world, and those of the younger people around us. It comes from a bit of a different perspective and hopefully it will open your minds even more

Do you ever feel like all that is expected of you is to just be happy? Carrie and Christina talk about why that is setting us up for failure. Let's talk about how we move past setting these unrealistic goals and move towards living authentically.

Join Christina for her first solo episode. Christina has a conversation with her coach Greg about the difference between coaching and counseling.

Carrie and Christina talk about people pleasing and share different perspectives on what that can look like in our lives

Carrie and Christina talk about exciting updates coming in the very near future. They also talk about growing in strength and confidence and how that can look moving forward.

Carrie talks about her journey over the last year. The ups and downs of bariatric surgery and weight loss.

Happy Two Years! Join Carrie and Christina in a conversation about the last two years, including a discussion about if everything is trauma.We thank you for sticking with us, and we look forward to more time together, more conversations, and more memories.

In these times, where things are so uncertain and overwhelming, sometimes we can feel a little lost. Carrie and Christina talk about checking out, and how it connects to stressful times in our lives. They talk about some of the strategies they have used to move through this.

Carrie and Christina talk about different perspectives about safety and how it can be affected by different intersections in our lives. Let us know if you have any thoughts or questions.

There are times in our lives when we can feel stuck, unabke to move forward. We have often heard that we are our own worst critic, and then other times we understand that we may actually be sabotaging ourselves. Carrie and Christina talk about the impacts of self sabotage and ways they have experienced it in their own lives.

What do you do when you find out that someone has shared untrue information about you? Join Carrie and Christina as they discuss how to navigate when someone calls your character into question, personal experiences and strategies.

We have returned! Thank you for sticking with us through this prolonged break. In this episode Carrie and Christina give an update on how 2024 ended for them and discuss intentions for the year to come. Let us know if there are topics you would like to hear about in 2025! [email protected]

It is ok to not be ok. It is ok to need and ask for help. Carrie and Christina talk about the stigma surrounding mental health and seeking support. Discover some strengths that can be found in reaching out and the chance to not feel so alone

It is something that all women will go through, and that all men will experience. Join Carrie and Christina as they discuss menopause and the different effects it can have on our lives. Bringing it out into the open!

Spidey sense, mother’s intuition, that feeling in your gut… Carrie and Christina talk about the importance of listening to our body and the cues it is sending us. They talk about how to identify those cues and what they could look like. Please join in and feel free to share your feedback.

We have another guest episode. Join Carrie as she speaks with the lovely Leah. Hear about what it is like coming into adulthood in today’s world, and how childhood events can affect who we become as adults.

Carrie and Christina welcome their first guest, Hans, to the podcast. Join in while we learn more about Hans, what they are passionate about and their thoughts on trauma and the impact it can have on our lives.

There are things that many of us attempt to keep hidden in our lives, and how that can sometimes lead to rot. Carrie and Christina talk about their own experiences with keeping things hidden and strategies to navigate through this.

This is our first “by request” episode, and we really enjoyed taking the time to have this conversation. Join us as we talk about narcissistic mothers, the impact it can have on our lives, and how to move forward

After going through some transitions, Carrie and Christina talk about different cues our bodies can give us as warning signals.

Not so Secret Trauma Presents Goodbye 300. Join Carrie in sharing her weight journey, leading up to surgery. The intention of this conversation is to fight stigmas surrounding the number on the scale, to bring humanity to obesity. Carrie will be back periodically to share in her journey away from 300.

How do you know when you have been pushed too far, or your kindness has been taken for granted. Carrie and Christina talk about when is enough, enough.

We don’t often think about how we impact the people around us, or the other way around. Maya Angelou said people won’t remember what you said to them but how you made them feel. Carrie and Christina talk about the importance of being mindful of the effect we have on other people, even when we don’t realize it. Carrie and Christina have challenged the listeners to let them know how they have impacted your life - outside the podcast or because of it. Do you know what your gift is? Jim Carrey article - https://stealthesethoughts.com/2018/11/11/the-affect-you-have-on-others-is-the-most-valuable-currency/ The Meaning - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0ZrkBCnfxw&pp=ygULVGhlIG1lYW5pbmc%3D Mikayla Nogueira - https://www.tiktok.com/@mikaylanogueira Alicia McCarvell - https://www.instagram.com/aliciamccarvell/ Mischa - https://www.tiktok.com/@dontcrossagayman Don Martin - https://www.tiktok.com/@headonfirepod Head on Fire Podcast - https://open.spotify.com/show/2ABZDWJR9vLuV6kXB1OQxt 7 Lessons from Dare to Lead - https://keithedwards.com/2019/05/09/7-lessons-from-dare-to-lead-by-brene-brown/ How to Shine your Light - https://medium.com/@TerriMKozlowski/how-shining-your-light-can-influence-others-in-a-positive-way-54e6df62bde8 Brene Brown - Dare to Lead

We don’t often think about how we impact the people around us, or the other way around. Maya Angelou said people won’t remember what you said to them but how you made them feel. Carrie and Christina talk about the importance of being mindful of the effect we have on other people, even when we don’t realize it. Carrie and Christina have challenged the listeners to let them know how they have impacted your life - outside the podcast or because of it. Do you know what your gift is? Jim Carrey article - https://stealthesethoughts.com/2018/11/11/the-affect-you-have-on-others-is-the-most-valuable-currency/ The Meaning - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0ZrkBCnfxw&pp=ygULVGhlIG1lYW5pbmc%3D Mikayla Nogueira - https://www.tiktok.com/@mikaylanogueira Alicia McCarvell - https://www.instagram.com/aliciamccarvell/ Mischa - https://www.tiktok.com/@dontcrossagayman Don Martin - https://www.tiktok.com/@headonfirepod Head on Fire Podcast - https://open.spotify.com/show/2ABZDWJR9vLuV6kXB1OQxt 7 Lessons from Dare to Lead - https://keithedwards.com/2019/05/09/7-lessons-from-dare-to-lead-by-brene-brown/ How to Shine your Light - https://medium.com/@TerriMKozlowski/how-shining-your-light-can-influence-others-in-a-positive-way-54e6df62bde8 Brene Brown - Dare to Lead

We can be really angry with someone we love, and at the same time still know that we love them. It can be hard to allow space for two opposite feelings at the same time. Carrie and Christina discuss holding space for two opposite feelings at the same time, and how this can help us move through feelings in a different way

Have you noticed someone whose arms are adorned with artwork, or a small piece on their ankle. Have you wondered how they managed to sit through the pain in order to obtain these pieces of art? Carrie and Christina discuss whether tattoos are considered a form of non-suicidal self injury. We would love to hear your thoughts on the matter as well

Sometimes things don’t go as we plan, and sometimes that is ok. Join Carrie and Christina as they talk about things going sideways. This is a little out of our normal format, but we hope you enjoy it!

Most of us know that place, where we are ready to give in, give up, turn back. What if we pushed through those feelings? Carrie and Christina talk about Growth Edge, are we just uncomfortable or is it unsafe. Come along for the ride!

It is not always encouraged for us to share or express our emotions. Carrie and Christina talk about the importance of being in touch with our feelings and ways to get into that mindset. Mother Moon - Big Feelings Song - https://open.spotify.com/track/3U0cHMOIJxHSMnuOsEUUnk Secondhand Therapy - https://open.spotify.com/show/2gMkjFOyVB8gk6JMMaDymf Good Anxiety - https://www.amazon.ca/Good-Anxiety-Harnessing-Misunderstood-Emotion/dp/1982170735 Burnout - https://www.amazon.ca/Burnout-Secret-Unlocking-Stress-Cycle/dp/1984818325 Flynn Skidmore - https://flynnskidmore.com/

As we enter the new year, Carrie and Christina discuss the overwhelm of the holidays, how they changed things this year to do the season differently. Going forward this year, we will begin posting every other week. If you are interested in joining a conversation, or have an experience you would like to share, please let us know. The Modern Rustic Podcast - https://open.spotify.com/show/3Y5O2gtp9shDoBeiHPrJiN Jay Shetty - https://jayshetty.me/podcast/ Unbound - A Woman’s Guide to Power - https://www.amazon.ca/Unbound-Womans-Guide-Kasia-Urbaniak/dp/0593084527 Sensitive - https://www.amazon.ca/Sensitive-Hidden-Highly-Person-Too-Much/dp/0593235010 Rocketbook - https://www.amazon.ca/Rocketbook-Smart-Reusable-Notebook-Eco-Friendly/dp/B07ZHZBPNM

When we feel sadness around the holidays, or like something is missing, maybe it is! Carrie and Christina talk about Mother Hunger, how it can impact us over this holiday season and what to do with it. This is our last episode for 2023. Thank you for being with us for the beginning of this journey, we hope you will carry on with us in the new year! https://kellymcdanieltherapy.com/ What exactly is mother hunger? Brie Schmidt -https://www.glam.com/1044946/what-exactly-is-mother-hunger/

There are times in our lives when things pile up, small stresses can compound and the result is we can feel fragile, like there is not much more we can handle. Carrie and Christina talk about emotional fragility, what it means, what it looks like, and how we can move through it. https://nickwignall.com/emotionally-fragile-people/. James Clear - Atomic Habits

This can be one of the hardest times of year, the most difficult season. There are so many expectations to be happy and full of love, to uphold traditions that no longer make sense… Carrie and Christina talk about traditions, the stress of Christmas, and how to make it through in one piece

Have you ever been in a situation where you can feel yourself becoming agitated or escalated? Some people have built strategies to help them calm down in these types of situations. Carrie and Christina discuss how many of us were not taught emotional regulation strategies and do not know how to come out of that place. We will discuss some strategies that we have learned ourselves and some that we have read about How does PTSD lead to Emotional Dysregulation? - https://psychcentral.com/ptsd/affect-dysregulation-and-c-ptsd You get what you get and you don’t get upset - https://thespoke.earlychildhoodaustralia.org.au/get-get-dont-get-upset-emotional-suppression-early-childhood/

There are times when we find it difficult to move forward in a relationship after we have been hurt. Carrie and Christina talk about attachment injuries, what can cause them, how to prevent them and how to move forward. Dr Sue Johnson - https://drsuejohnson.com/about/ Overcome an Attachment Injury and Move Forward Stronger - https://www.hprc-online.org/social-fitness/relationship-building/overcome-attachment-injury-and-move-forward-stronger Do I have an Attachment Injury - https://the-love-compass.com/2015/12/06/attachment-injury/

So many of us deal with low self-worth, trying to find ways to feel better about ourselves by looking outward. Carrie and Christina explore self worth and lived experiences and how they are connected. Flynn Skidmore - https://www.flynnskidmore.com/ Realizing and Improving Self-Worth -https://www.headspace.com/mindfulness/self-worth How to Improve your Self-Worth and Why it is Important - https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-self-worth-6543764

That gnawing feeling in the pit of your stomach, you feel clammy, this is your gut speaking to you. Are there other things that help you to know what the better choice is? Carrie and Christina talk about their experiences with instinct, intuition and trusting your gut. DISCLAIMER: We recorded this episode in a car, on a very rainy day. You cam definitely hear the rain. Intuition - https://www.heysigmund.com/9-ways-to-tap-into-your-intuition-and-why-youll-want-to/ Leeds University - https://www.leeds.ac.uk/. (It is in England) Trusting your Gut -https://www.verywellmind.com/when-to-trust-your-intuition-7481322

Many of us walk around with negative thoughts in our brains, unkind voices… that Committee of Assholes! Carrie and Christina talk about intrusive thoughts and ways to not let them take hold, and overcome the control they can have on our lives. Armchair Expert with Gabor Mate - https://open.spotify.com/episode/2gepSnq9SHCSBhV8Hd1cDN Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts - https://adaa.org/learn-from-us/from-the-experts/blog-posts/consumer/unwanted-intrusive-thoughts Managing Intrusive Thoughts - https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/managing-intrusive-thoughts

As we come into cold and flu season, with talk of masks and covid again, there may be some feelings coming up. Carrie and Christina talk about how things changed through covid, and the impacts it has had on our lives now.

We don’t always know what we need to get through a tough time, or following a trauma. It can be even more difficult to know what someone else needs. Carrie and Christina join you this week to talk about how to support other people when they are going through a hard time. Steve on TikTok - https://www.dexerto.com/entertainment/steve-from-blues-clues-is-on-tiktok-and-fans-cant-get-enough-1701870/ Weighted Blankets - https://www.amazon.ca/weighted-blanket/s?k=weighted+blanket Fidgets - https://www.amazon.ca/s?k=Fidgets&crid=3UXZLBE3IUFS9&sprefix=fidgets%2Caps%2C170&ref=nb_sb_noss_1 Heating pads - https://www.amazon.ca/s?k=Heating+pads&crid=2RPFY71OMQ8NM&sprefix=heating+pads%2Caps%2C174&ref=nb_sb_noss_1 James Clear - https://jamesclear.com/ https://www.amazon.ca/Atomic-Habits-Proven-Build-Break/dp/0735211299

Carrie and Christina are back! This week they are sharing a discussion on blame, how it relates to trauma, how it impacts our relationships, along with some personal anecdotes. References https://www.mindful.org/two-lessons-on-blame-from-brene-brown/ https://www.gottman.com/blog/why-we-need-to-stop-playing-the-blame-game/ https://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-stop-playing-the-blame-game/ https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-the-antidotes/

There can be people in our lives that we feel a deep connection to, sometimes it seems unexplainable. Join Carrie and Christina as they discuss healthy and unhealthy soul ties that we may have in our lives and explore strategies to overcome the unhealthy ones. Resources https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/soul-ties https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/trauma-bonding https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/health-promotion/stop-family-violence/services.html https://www.womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/domestic-violence/leaving-abusive-relationship National Abuse Hotline 1-800-799-7233

Join Carrie and Christina for a week of discussing things we thought were normal but are possibly trauma responses. We will be with you every day this week with a short episode to kick off the fall. https://www.buzzfeed.com/victoriavouloumanos/regular-behaviors-that-are-trauma-responses

Join Carrie and Christina for a week of discussing things we thought were normal but are possibly trauma responses. We will be with you every day this week with a short episode to kick off the fall. https://www.buzzfeed.com/victoriavouloumanos/regular-behaviors-that-are-trauma-responses

Join Carrie and Christina for a week of discussing things we thought were normal but are possibly trauma responses. We will be with you every day this week with a short episode to kick off the fall. https://www.buzzfeed.com/victoriavouloumanos/regular-behaviors-that-are-trauma-responses https://drjudithorloff.com/quizzes/are-you-an-empath-20-question-self-assessment-test/

Join Carrie and Christina for a week of discussing things we thought were normal but are possibly trauma responses. We will be with you every day this week with a short episode to kick off the fall. https://www.buzzfeed.com/victoriavouloumanos/regular-behaviors-that-are-trauma-responses