Pondoff's Anonymous

For nearly 30 years, Dawn Stanley worked inside Missouri’s probation and parole system, helping people navigate addiction, mental health struggles, incarceration and re-entry. Eventually, she thought she was ready to walk away from helping people altogether.Turns out, that wasn’t really the problem.On this episode of Pondoff’s Anonymous, Dawn joins Chris, Kurt, and Zoë to talk about a career spent trying to help people inside systems that don’t always make helping people easy and how that experience ultimately led her to the work she does today with TMAC.Dawn talks about her introduction to the recovery world, what families taught her about addiction, the importance of meeting people where they are, and why there is no single treatment center or recovery path that works for everyone. Sometimes the most important part of helping someone is knowing the right questions to ask and knowing how to navigate a system that can be incredibly difficult to understand from the outside.We also get into the realities of insurance and treatment, supporting the families affected by addiction, and what it actually looks like when someone calls asking for help and has nowhere else to turn.Dawn describes herself as relentless. After this conversation, it’s pretty easy to understand why.

Michelle Charbonnier knows addiction from both sides of the conversation.Today, she's a clinician, recovery advocate, executive director of a recovery community center, and someone who helps individuals and families navigate treatment. But long before she was helping people find their way into recovery, Michelle was trying to find her own way out.Michelle joins Chris, Zoë and KG to tell the story of growing up in Granite City, experimenting with drugs before she even entered high school, smoking weed every day, bartending in biker bars and eventually developing a cocaine addiction that escalated into a roughly $300-a-day crack habit. While working toward her MBA and maintaining one version of her life on the surface, she was spending days isolated in hotel rooms and making daily trips to East St. Louis to smoke crack. Eventually, the addiction won out over school.But quitting crack wasn't the end of Michelle's story.Her relationship with substances continued to change—from cocaine to Adderall, marijuana and eventually alcohol—until a complete mental and emotional breakdown forced her to confront the fact that she couldn't keep living the way she was living.Now, Michelle has turned those experiences into a career helping other people. The conversation gets into harm reduction, Narcan, marijuana, mental health, finding the right treatment instead of simply a treatment, the importance of what happens after someone leaves treatment, and why there's no single correct way to recover.As Michelle puts it: “Judging other people's recovery doesn't serve ours well.”It's a story about addiction, survival, purpose and what can happen when the person who once needed help becomes the person helping someone else find it.

Tiffany Foster returns to Pondoff’s Anonymous for a conversation about grief, memory, advocacy, and learning how to keep moving when life changes again.Tiffany joins Chris, Zoë and KG on what would have been her son Zack’s 18th birthday, just days before the five-year anniversary of his passing. She talks about the ways she still celebrates him, why she prefers to call the anniversary of his death his “Forever Day,” and why talking openly about Zack has become such an important part of both her grief and her work with Addiction Is Real.Now serving as vice president of Addiction Is Real, Tiffany continues to share Zack’s story with parents and caregivers in hopes of preventing another family from experiencing the same loss. As Chris points out, her willingness to keep talking about what happened has almost certainly helped other families have conversations they otherwise may never have had.But Tiffany is also navigating a new kind of loss. After 13 years with her employer, she unexpectedly lost her job just days before recording, forcing her to confront identity, routine, responsibility and what it means to start over when you already feel like you’ve endured “tragedy on top of tragedy.”And because this is still Pondoff’s Anonymous, the conversation also somehow includes horror movies, red velvet cake, Chicago sex shops, giant.....toys, gay neighborhoods, smut books, ADHD, bears, otters and whether Tiffany was once a “soft butch.”It’s funny, messy, deeply human and ultimately a conversation about continuing to live — while making sure the people we’ve lost continue to live with us.

This week on Pondoff’s Anonymous, Chris, Zoë and Kurt sit down with Kenny Dyson, a beloved member of the Underground recovery community, to hear the story that brought him there.Kenny’s journey started with drinking at a young age and eventually grew into years of alcohol, cocaine, pills and other drugs. Along the way came loss, a struggling marriage, a career he now realizes addiction may have held back, and plenty of moments that could have ended much differently. But after years of running, Kenny finally reached a morning when he was simply ready. After one last night out, his friend Josh arrived expecting to have to drag him out of bed. Instead, Kenny was already sitting outside waiting for him. That night became his last drink. Now nearly 28 months sober, Kenny has found community in AA, NA and Underground—and somehow went from looking for an NA group to being asked to lead one. It’s an honest conversation about addiction, grief, divorce, friendship, recovery and what can happen when you finally decide it’s time to change your life.And because this is Pondoff’s Anonymous, the conversation also manages to include meth mouth, Larry Bird, Joe Burrow, Cheetos and cocaine, the St. Louis Blues, divorce court and an alarming amount of discussion about attractive men.Kenny Dyson’s story is proof that sometimes recovery doesn’t begin with having everything figured out. Sometimes it begins with simply being ready.

Michael Fowler joins Pondoff’s Anonymous to tell a story that starts with childhood trauma, addiction and years of keeping people at arm’s length and eventually leads him into treatment, recovery and a career helping other people find their own way out.Michael opens up about experiencing trauma at a young age and how it helped build the walls he carried into adulthood. In treatment, sharing that part of his story led another man to reveal something he had never told anyone before. That moment gave Michael his first glimpse of something bigger: maybe the parts of his life he had spent hiding could actually be used to help somebody else.He talks candidly about alcoholism, drugs, failed relationships, infidelity, run-ins with the law and the destructive belief that if he hurt people first, they couldn't hurt him. Recovery eventually forced him to do something very different—lower the walls, feel the pain when things went wrong and stop numbing every uncomfortable emotion.The conversation also explores Michael's evolving relationship with faith. After initially wanting nothing to do with the "God stuff" in recovery, his idea of a higher power gradually evolved from the people in the rooms to a personal relationship with Christ.And because this is Pondoff’s Anonymous, somehow all of that exists alongside restaurant hookup culture, cocaine, bowling, getting tased, The Sopranos, questionable golf-course stories and an alarming amount of discussion that probably shouldn't appear in an episode description.It's a conversation about what happens when the things you once tried hardest to hide become the exact things that allow you to connect with—and help—someone else.

This week, Chris, KG, and Zoë sit down with Ricky Stewart, Director of Hilljack House and former Illinois Recovery Center case manager, for an honest conversation about addiction, identity, and the long road to recovery.Ricky shares what it was like growing up as the youngest of five—and an identical twin—in a home that looked stable from the outside but was filled with chaos behind closed doors. He opens up about his introduction to heroin, thirty treatment centers, relapse after four years of sobriety, and the moments that nearly convinced him to give up.The conversation explores sober living, fatherhood, pornography addiction, mental health, shame, grace, sponsorship, and the people who kept showing up even when Ricky couldn't answer the door. It's a powerful reminder that recovery isn't about becoming perfect—it's about staying connected when everything inside you tells you to isolate.There are plenty of laughs mixed in, because that's how life works. Even in the middle of the hardest stories, hope has a way of finding its way into the room.

This week, Chris, KG, and Erin Johnston of Addiction Is Real sit down for a conversation that challenges the way we think about addiction, recovery, and mental health.From the realities of detox and the fentanyl crisis to youth mental health, suicide prevention, Narcan, and supporting families in crisis, Erin shares what she's learned after years of working alongside people whose lives have been forever changed by substance use. But this isn't just a conversation about statistics—it's about people, compassion, and the small moments that can change the course of someone's life. The discussion also explores grace, faith, parenting, community, grief, and why creating a space where people feel seen may be one of the most powerful forms of prevention we have. As always, there are plenty of laughs mixed in along the way, proving that even the heaviest conversations can leave you with hope.If you've ever wondered how to better support someone who's struggling—or simply become a better human being—this episode is for you.

This week, Chris, Zoë, and KG welcome Morgan Coyner for one of the funniest—and most vulnerable—conversations of the season.Morgan opens up about growing up with a mother battling mental illness and addiction, finding alcohol at an early age, becoming a high-achieving alcoholic through college, and eventually discovering a life she never thought was possible in recovery. Along the way, the conversation bounces from Four Lokos, fraternity parties, and NASCAR bets to Virginia Tech, faith, forgiveness, family, and what it really means to heal from childhood trauma. As always with Pondoff's Anonymous, the laughs come just as often as the tears. Whether they're joking about purity culture, arguing over music, or unpacking the complicated relationship between love and addiction, this episode is a reminder that recovery isn't just surviving your story—it's learning to tell it with honesty, hope, and maybe a few inappropriate jokes along the way.

Pondoff's Anonymous had the week off while Chris gallivanted around his homeland in Italy.So for this week, please enjoy this Pondoff's Anonymous Best of Season 3.Featuring conversations with Marcus "Buff" Bagwell, Michael Wellington, Kira Andersen, Ryan Canaday, and many more, this best of episode is filled with stories of recovery, triumph, success, heartache, and every other human emotion you can think of.Each of these stories are unique in their own way, but they all have one thing in common: they prove that no matter what you're dealing with, whether it be addiction, loss, mental health issues, or anything else, you don't have to do it alone. If you or someone you know needs help, please reach out to us here at Pondoff's Anonymous.

Some people hit rock bottom in a single moment. For others, it's thousands of small decisions that slowly pull them further away from the life they were meant to live.On this episode of Pondoff's Anonymous, Cole Shea shares the winding road that led from a turbulent childhood and high school football dreams to heroin addiction, prison, and eventually a decade of sobriety. Growing up surrounded by addiction, violence, and instability, Cole explains how loyalty to family often collided with the boundaries that others tried to set for him—and how those choices shaped the course of his life. Cole opens up about surviving Type 1 diabetes while incarcerated, navigating years of active addiction alongside family members, the reality of prison life, and the moment he realized he couldn't keep outrunning the consequences of his decisions. Along the way, the conversation explores trauma, accountability, recovery, and the difference between simply surviving and genuinely learning how to live. Whether you've lived this story yourself or loved someone who has, Cole's honesty is a testament to the idea that your past doesn't have to write the rest of your story.

This week on Pondoff’s Anonymous, Tony Martin joins the show to share a recovery journey that starts in a small town in Jefferson County and winds through family trauma, addiction, divorce, jail cells, treatment centers, Oxford House, and ultimately a life dedicated to helping others find recovery.Growing up with a mother battling severe mental illness, Tony learned early what it felt like to live in survival mode. After finally escaping a chaotic home environment as a teenager, drugs quickly became more than a way to have fun—they became a way to feel safe, accepted, and connected. What began with marijuana eventually evolved into years of methamphetamine use, heavy drinking, failed relationships, and a growing inability to imagine life without substances.Along the way, Tony reflects on the people who believed in him when he couldn't believe in himself, from his grandmother and teachers to family members who never stopped hoping he'd find another way. He shares stories that are hilarious, heartbreaking, and at times unbelievable—including military enlistment mishaps, bartending at Red Lobster, blackout drinking, and the many rationalizations addiction convinced him were perfectly reasonable.Most importantly, this episode explores what happens when someone who spent years trying to escape pain finally decides to face it. Today, Tony is helping others navigate recovery through Oxford House and nonprofit work, using every lesson from his past to serve people who are walking the same road he once did.This is a conversation about trauma, resilience, second chances, and the reality that recovery is about far more than simply putting down a drink or a drug._____________________Illinois Recovery Center:⁠ https://illinoisrecoverycenter.com/⁠Find us on Facebook, Instagram, & YouTube.⁠https://www.facebook.com/pondoffsanonymous⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/pondoffsanonymous⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@pondoffsanonymous

On this episode of Pondoff's Anonymous, we sit down with Chrissy Shields and her sons, Arty Berreman and Jake Shields, to share the life and legacy of AJ Berreman. Through laughter, tears, and incredible honesty, the Berreman family opens up about AJ's battle with addiction, bipolar disorder, treatment, recovery attempts, and the difficult reality of loving someone through a disease that affects the entire family.From hockey rinks and family dinners to rehab centers and heartbreaking phone calls, this conversation explores the moments that shaped AJ's life, the challenges his family faced, and the lessons they've learned in the years since his passing. Chrissy shares what it was like to watch her son struggle, the hope that kept her going, and the dream that finally brought her peace.This isn't just a story about addiction. It's a story about family, resilience, grief, faith, forgiveness, and the impact one person can have long after they're gone.Today, AJ's legacy lives on through the people who loved him, the lives touched by his story, and the annual golf tournament held in his honor.❤️ In memory of AJ Berriman.

On this episode of Pondoff’s Anonymous, Angie Isam sits down for one of the most unbelievable and emotionally raw conversations the show has had yet. What starts as stories about South City chaos, partying, and addiction quickly unfolds into a childhood filled with instability, abandonment, alcoholism, kidnapping, violence, and survival.Angie opens up about growing up in a deeply dysfunctional home, her father spiraling into alcoholism, her mother disappearing for long stretches of time, and learning to survive long before she was emotionally equipped to. Along the way, she shares stories about cocaine addiction, methamphetamine, biker culture, multiple DWIs, county jail, losing custody of her daughter, and the moments that finally forced her to confront the life she was living.But underneath all the chaos is something much deeper: redemption. Angie talks about recovery, faith, treatment, rebuilding relationships, and how her own lived experience eventually led her to helping others as Director of Admissions at Illinois Recovery Center — becoming the exact kind of person she once needed herself.

On this episode of Pondoff’s Anonymous, Chris and Zoe sit down with Matt Bauersachs for an honest and inspiring recovery story. Matt opens up about growing up feeling different, struggling with ADHD, lupus, self-esteem, and eventually finding himself caught in a spiral of alcohol, drugs, selling substances, and increasingly destructive behavior. What started as teenage experimentation quickly turned into blackouts, crashes, failed college attempts, and a life headed in a dangerous direction.Matt shares the pivotal moments that changed everything—from flipping a car while trying to impress a girl, to being kicked out of treatment, to the difficult boundaries his parents were forced to set when nothing else seemed to work. He reflects on the intervention efforts that helped, the ones that didn’t, and how his family's willingness to get help for themselves ultimately became a major part of his recovery journey.The conversation dives deep into long-term recovery, sober living, learning how to have fun without substances, and the surprising joy that comes from building a meaningful life one day at a time. Along the way, there are plenty of laughs about Four Lokos, tennis tournaments, ADHD medication, comedy clubs, golf courses, and the chaos that often accompanies addiction.More than anything, this episode is about hope. Matt's story is proof that even when life feels completely out of control, recovery can lead to a life richer, fuller, and more meaningful than you ever imagined. Today, he's a husband, father, recovery advocate, and living example that people can recover when given the right support and enough time.

On this episode of Pondoff's Anonymous, Kira Andersen joins the crew for a conversation that is heartbreaking, inspiring, and deeply human all at the same time.Kira opens up about growing up with a mother who struggled with alcoholism, the complicated grief that followed her mother's death, and the loneliness that can come with loving someone through addiction. From there, the conversation explores how she coped through achievement, marathon running, entrepreneurship, and constantly staying busy rather than slowing down long enough to feel the weight of her losses.The episode also dives into Kira's love story with her late husband Kyle, from long-distance eHarmony messages and airport meetups to the life they built together. Along the way, the group discusses therapy, people-pleasing, resilience, recovery, relationships, and why some of life's biggest setbacks can ultimately become the foundation for your purpose.As always, there are plenty of laughs, side quests, and unexpected detours, but underneath it all is a powerful reminder that even after unimaginable loss, joy, connection, and meaning are still possible.

On this episode of Pondoff’s Anonymous, Chris, Zoë, and KG sit down with returning guest Michael Wellington—author of "Birdies, Bogeys, and Bipolar Disorder"—for an open, honest, and insightful conversation on bipolar disorder and mental health. Michael shares his journey from professional golf and devastating manic episodes to long-term stability, recovery, and helping others navigate bipolar disorder.The conversation explores the realities of living with bipolar disorder, the dangers of self-medicating with alcohol, the challenge of finding the right medication, and how routine, accountability, exercise, and gratitude became life-changing tools in Michael’s recovery. Along the way, Zoë offers a deeply personal perspective on her own bipolar diagnosis, leading to a fascinating discussion about overstimulation, “mood seizures,” and what mental illness can actually feel like from the inside.Michael also shares some incredible stories from his darkest years—including psychiatric hospital stays, losing touch with reality during manic episodes, and the intervention from close friends that ultimately helped save his life. The parallels between addiction recovery and mental health recovery become a recurring theme as the group discusses boundaries, support systems, and the importance of taking ownership of your healing.This episode is filled with practical advice, unforgettable stories, and a reminder that recovery isn’t about perfection—it’s about building habits that give you a chance to thrive.

This episode of Pondoff's Anonymous is a wild ride in every possible way. Marcus “Buff” Bagwell joins the show and immediately drops the room into stunned silence with the story of the devastating car wreck that shattered his leg, the 41 surgeries that followed, and the emotional decision to ultimately amputate it. What starts as wrestling nostalgia quickly turns into something much deeper — addiction, pain, survival, ego, faith, and the brutal realities behind fame.Buff opens up about growing up as a gifted athlete battling severe undiagnosed sleep apnea, using cocaine before high school football games, becoming obsessed with body image, and falling into decades of steroid and painkiller abuse while living the larger-than-life WCW lifestyle. He talks candidly about the culture of wrestling in the ‘90s, the normalization of pills and alcohol backstage, and how addiction could hide in plain sight when the money, fame, and physique all looked “perfect” from the outside.The conversation also dives into the rise and collapse of WCW, the Monday Night Wars, Ted Turner’s belief in wrestling, and the surreal experience of getting released by WWE just days after debuting during the invasion storyline. Along the way, there are hilarious detours about cigars, wrestling handshakes, losing a leg, and whether amputated body parts should legally belong to the hospital or the patient. It’s equal parts inspiring and heartbreaking.

This week on Pondoff’s Anonymous, Chris and Zoë sit down with Blake Wellen, case manager at Illinois Recovery Center, for a conversation about treatment, recovery, compassion fatigue, and what it looks like to care for people when they’re walking through one of the hardest seasons of their lives.Blake doesn’t identify as an alcoholic or addict, but he grew up around addiction and found himself pulled into the recovery world through his family, his work at IRC, and a genuine love for helping people. He talks about starting at IRC as a night tech, working his way through different roles, and eventually becoming a case manager helping clients build a real plan for life after inpatient treatment.They get into why discharge planning starts on day one, why 30 days is rarely enough, how sober living and outpatient care can change the outcome, and why people leaving treatment need more than good intentions. They need support, structure, and people who believe they can make it.Also in this episode: small-town Illinois stories, Highland chaos, wedding fights, compassion fatigue, therapy, the “jar of f*cks,” and why sometimes the real work starts after treatment ends.TIMESTAMPS:00:00 - Sponsors02:17 - Meet Blake Wellen03:16 - Blake’s perspective on addiction and treatment08:44 - The early days of Illinois Recovery Center15:59 - Compassion fatigue and learning how to recharge18:02 - Blake’s role as a case manager25:16 - Discharge planning starts on day one27:54 - Sober living, funding barriers, and resources29:54 - Why 30 days usually isn’t enough31:17 - The real work starts after treatment35:25 - Helping clients feel like they’re not alone37:15 - The jar of f*cks38:12 - Slowing down and letting go of control40:52 - Finding a calling in recovery work41:55 - Blake’s fiancée and wedding planning48:04 - The Coyote Ugly wedding brawl57:20 - Falling in love with the work at IRC1:06:22 - Trying to build a life in this economy1:12:02 - Four-wheelers, concussions, and trauma1:16:46 - Why outpatient care matters1:19:04 - Therapy doesn’t give you all the answers1:24:03 - What families should know about treatmentSPONSORS:Thank you to our sponsors, McKelvey Insurance Group and LightSource.McKelvey Insurance Grouphttp://mckelveyins.comLightSourcehttp://findyourlightsource.comDISCLAIMER:This podcast shares personal stories and conversations about recovery, mental health, addiction, and life. It is not a substitute for professional help. If you need support, visit pondoffsanonymous.com and contact us.

Jakob Miller Is Back: Treatment, Harm Reduction, and the Hard Truth About Getting CleanJakob Miller is back in the studio for a classic Pondoff’s Anonymous drive-by episode...which means the conversation starts somewhere ridiculous and somehow ends up getting very real.Chris, Zoë, Jeff, and Jakob talk through what’s new in Jakob’s life, the work happening at Illinois Recovery Center, and some of the bigger conversations happening in recovery right now: ibogaine, ketamine treatment, Suboxone, methadone, Vivitrol, naltrexone, harm reduction, detox, fentanyl, Adderall abuse, and what it actually takes to help someone get clean.Jakob shares his perspective from both lived experience and working in treatment, especially around the idea that harm reduction can save lives, but it shouldn’t become the final destination. The group also talks about ACEs, trauma, recovery structure, medication-assisted treatment, and why real recovery usually requires more than just one tool.It’s honest, funny, uncomfortable, scattered in the best way, and full of the kind of recovery talk that makes this show what it is.Topics include:- Jakob’s return to the studio- Marriage, family, and life after stepping back from the show- The protest at a sensory-friendly Easter service- Ibogaine, ketamine, and psychedelic-assisted treatment- Suboxone, methadone, Vivitrol, and naltrexone- Fentanyl detox and precipitated withdrawal- Harm reduction before and after treatment- Adderall abuse and stimulant addiction- ACEs, trauma, and childhood adversity- Why recovery requires structure, support, and honestyThis episode is brought to you by McKelvey Insurance Group.If you’ve ever felt confused or overwhelmed by insurance, McKelvey Insurance Group keeps it simple. They’re an independent agency, which means they compare options from multiple providers to find coverage that actually fits you and your needs...not just one company’s policy.Call Evan McKelvey at McKelvey Insurance Group at 618-623-0080 or visit:https://mckelveyins.comThis episode is also brought to you by LightSource Psychotherapy.What do we need when we’re in the dark? Sometimes it’s simply just a light source.Find out more at:http://findyourlightsource.comAnd don’t forget Light in the Dark, the Pondoff’s Anonymous dark roast created with our friends at Long Story Coffee. Every bag helps support the conversations and community behind the show.Order online at:https://pondoffsanonymous.com/coffeePondoff’s Anonymous is hosted by Chris Pondoff with Zoë Mendenall and Jeff Allen. Produced, engineered, mixed, and filmed by Jeff Allen. Recorded at Illinois Recovery Center in the Pondoff’s Anonymous Studio.Music by McCall. The track is “Anti-Hero.”This podcast shares stories and conversations. It is not a substitute for professional help. If you need support, visit:https://pondoffsanonymous.com

Content note: This episode contains discussion of addiction, overdose, assault, suicidal ideation, homelessness, and other traumatic experiences. Please take care while listening.Alyssa Jarvis joins us to talk about faith, rejection, trauma, addiction, recovery, forgiveness, and the long road to building a new life. This is a heavy one, but it’s also full of honesty, resilience, and hope.Special thanks to our sponsors:McKelvey Insurance Grouphttps://mckelveyins.comLight Source Psychotherapyhttp://findyourlightsource.comChapters00:00 Introduction and Sponsorships01:33 Personal Stories and Connections02:59 Faith and Spiritual Journeys06:06 Navigating Identity and Acceptance11:56 Challenges of Homelessness and Addiction20:00 Support Systems and Resilience21:17 Navigating Adolescence and School Challenges22:14 The Role of Xanax in Coping with Trauma25:00 Understanding Addiction and Recovery27:06 The Impact of Loss on Substance Use33:15 The Journey of Forgiveness and Healing46:29 The Drugging Incident49:21 The Aftermath of Assault50:46 Realizations and Consequences51:05 First Treatment Experience53:39 Escalation of Addiction54:30 Overdoses and Near-Death Experiences56:18 Friendship and Betrayal01:01:10 Rock Bottom and Awakening01:11:25 The Call for Help01:14:02 Journey to Treatment01:17:00 Entering Recovery01:20:30 Finding Purpose in Pain01:24:29 Navigating Relationships in Recovery01:30:05 The Challenges of Motherhood01:34:38 The Birth Experience01:35:23 The Birth of Harley and Early Challenges01:38:01 Navigating Single Parenthood01:39:29 Finding Stability and Employment01:41:41 The Journey to Recovery and New Beginnings01:45:03 Building Community and Support01:49:01 Spiritual Growth and Connection01:57:06 Empowering Others Through Experience

John Nettles joins Pondoff’s Anonymous for a real conversation about addiction, relapse, treatment, and what it actually takes to build a life that lasts. Originally from the St. Louis area and now living in California, John talks about growing up in Chesterfield, getting pulled into sports, nightlife, and the EDM scene, and how alcohol and drugs slowly took over everything.This episode gets into the messy reality of addiction...the false starts, the treatment attempts that didn’t stick, the consequences, and the slow shift from just surviving to actually changing. John also opens up about the recovery community that helped him, the grief and relationships he’s had to navigate sober, and what it means to find purpose after years of chaos.John is the Director of Alumni Relations at Refine Recovery in Sherman Oaks, California, where he helped build the alumni program to keep people connected and supported after treatment. He also hosts his own podcast, Recovery Refined, where he talks with guests about recovery, identity, adversity, and growth.If you’re in California and need help, check out Refine Recovery:https://refinerecovery.com/contact/Check out John’s podcast, Recovery Refined:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-refined/id1867828182Sponsors:A big thank you to our sponsors. We couldn’t do this without them.McKelvey Insurance Grouphttps://www.mckelveyins.com/Light Sourcehttps://findyourlightsource.com/Timestamps:00:00 Introduction and Sponsorships04:57 California's Treatment Landscape11:06 Community Support and Recovery Initiatives20:00 Growing Up in Chesterfield and Sports Background25:19 Sports Culture and Personal Anecdotes29:43 The Journey into Addiction30:51 Treatment Programs and Their Impact34:15 Navigating Recovery and Relapse39:09 Building a Supportive Recovery Community44:37 Comedy Night and Personal Reflections46:11 Navigating Family Dynamics and Addiction47:47 The Struggles of Early Adulthood and Substance Use49:31 The Intersection of Substance Use and Nightlife51:27 Geographic Changes and Their Impact on Addiction54:43 The Escalation of Addiction and Its Consequences57:27 The Turning Point: Realizations and Relationships01:00:00 The Journey to Sobriety and Its Challenges01:02:51 Facing the Consequences of Addiction01:05:18 The Cycle of Sobriety and Relapse01:10:03 Societal Views on Alcohol and Addiction01:13:20 Moments of Willingness and Seeking Help01:19:06 The Impact of Family and Relationships on Recovery01:22:43 Reconnecting and Building Relationships01:25:11 The Role of Pets in Recovery01:30:02 The Journey to Treatment01:31:03 Listening and Learning in Recovery01:35:24 Detox and the Importance of Time01:39:02 Finding Purpose in Recovery01:45:39 Working in Treatment and Helping Others01:46:37 Building Trust in Recovery01:47:01 Creating a Supportive Alumni Network01:48:50 The Importance of Community in Recovery01:51:26 Navigating Grief and Loss01:56:00 Finding Purpose in Service02:00:05 Understanding Addiction and Recovery02:02:12 Connecting Through Shared Experiences

Never Lose Hope with Tennille HeitkampTennille Heitkamp joins Pondoff’s Anonymous to share the long, painful, and hopeful story of walking through addiction with her son, Jacob. What starts as a conversation about Underground and finding the right support community turns into a brutally honest look at what addiction does to an entire family.Tennille talks about Jacob’s childhood, ADHD, early struggles to fit in, his exposure to pills and fentanyl, emergency room visits, detox, sober living, relapse, and the emotional chaos that came with trying to keep him alive. She also opens up about the toll it took on her, her marriage, her other son, and her own mental health as she tried to hold everything together.But this episode is not just about the darkness. It is also about not giving up. Tennille shares how Jacob eventually found real help, how Florida became a turning point, how he is now six months sober, and how hope slowly started to return. The conversation also highlights Tennille’s work with Addiction is Real, where she now helps other families recognize warning signs, find resources, and feel less alone.This episode is for parents, loved ones, and anyone who has ever felt exhausted by addiction and wondered if things can still get better.Sponsored by:McKelvey Insurance Group — https://www.mckelveyins.comLightSource Psychotherapy — https://findyourlightsource.com00:00 Sponsor message: McKelvey Insurance Group + LightSource00:56 Theme song01:30 Welcome and meeting Tennille06:48 How Tennille found Underground09:16 Trying different support spaces until something fits12:12 Creating a safe place for scared newcomers15:27 Underground becomes bigger than anyone expected17:42 Why Chris wanted Tennille to tell this story18:43 Jacob, Jayden, and the beginning of the family story24:02 Jacob’s childhood, diagnoses, surgeries, and early struggles30:38 High school football, wanting to fit in, and pills32:16 First exposure to fentanyl33:34 Moving out, chasing belonging, and things unraveling40:12 The first major fentanyl scare and ER trip42:09 Detox, sober living, and the insurance nightmare58:30 Family disease, shame, and trying to fix everything1:01:33 Learning boundaries and finding family support1:21:08 Another sober living setback1:25:39 Airport chaos and getting Jacob back to treatment1:30:54 New Jersey, sober living, and another return home1:33:21 A good stretch, then relapse again1:37:05 Hospital scare and the move to Florida1:38:05 Florida treatment and meeting Emily1:40:21 Six months sober and a different future1:42:48 Tennille’s work with Addiction is Real1:50:39 How Jacob is doing now1:53:55 Credits1:54:26 Light in the Dark coffee outro

Content Note: This episode contains discussion of suicide, addiction, and mental health.Julie Wiseman with her friend (also) JulieThanks to our sponsors:McKelvey Insurance Group http://mckelveyins.com LightSource http://FindYourLightSource.com In this episode of Pondoff’s Anonymous, Chris and Zoë sit down with Julie Wiseman, joined by her friend Dee, for a deeply honest conversation about grief, learning differences, addiction, and the long shadow of shame. Julie shares the story of her son Nick, from early struggles with dyslexia and anxiety to the deeper mental health and substance use battles that followed, and the devastating reality of losing him to suicide.Along the way, the conversation opens up into something even bigger… parenting fear, the pressure kids carry, the gaps in support for teens and families, and the kind of community that can help people feel less alone. Julie talks about creating Nick’s Beautiful Angels, Zoë reflects on her own experience with dyslexia and ADHD, and the group keeps coming back to a simple truth… isolation makes everything worse, and honest connection matters.Chapters:00:00 Navigating Personal Challenges 02:51 Understanding Learning Differences 12:15 The Impact of ADHD and Dyslexia 20:51 Social Connections and Communication 32:06 The Role of Support Systems 40:19 Exploring Addiction and Recovery 49:48 The Importance of Open Conversations 59:48 Coping with Isolation and Pressure 01:09:49 Finding Joy in Everyday Life 01:19:33 The Journey of Self-Discovery 01:29:00 Fear, Setbacks, and Turning Points 01:39:00 Living With Panic and Uncertainty 01:47:11 The Weight of the Last Text 01:57:00 Grief in Daily Life 02:05:00 Courage, Community, and Keep Going 02:13:20 Landing the Plane

In this episode of Pondoff’s Anonymous, Chris sits down with Lyndsey Jacob, Kyle Jacob, and Zoë for an honest conversation about addiction, recovery, trauma, ADHD, marriage, family, sobriety, and healing.Lyndsey shares what it was like to live in denial while knowing things could not keep going the way they were. She talks about cocaine use, alcohol, secrecy, survival mode, shame, and the fear of facing life without substances. This episode explores the turning points that led her toward honesty, treatment, and recovery.Chris, Lyndsey, Kyle, and Zoë also talk about the impact addiction has on marriage, trust, family, finances, motherhood, and identity. They unpack how childhood experiences, trauma, and ADHD can shape adult behavior and self-perception, and how deeper issues can stay hidden underneath addiction for years.This conversation also gets into support systems, accountability, stigma, and the role of community in recovery. Kyle shares what it was like to walk through this as a husband, and the episode offers a real look at what healing can require from everyone involved. It is messy, personal, honest, and hopeful.If you are interested in addiction recovery, sobriety, trauma healing, mental health, ADHD, relationships, or real stories of change, this episode is for you.Timestamps00:00 Introduction and Sponsorships01:11 Personal Reflections on Life and Challenges02:34 The Importance of Connection and Community06:00 Navigating Personal Struggles and Support Systems09:29 The Journey of Recovery and Realizations12:43 Understanding Addiction and Its Complexities16:14 The Role of Family and Relationships in Recovery19:10 Childhood Experiences and Their Impact on Adulthood25:46 Unpacking Trauma and ADHD27:11 The Turning Point: Coming Clean to Family28:19 The Importance of Support in Recovery32:01 Facing the Reality of Addiction36:00 Unpacking Trauma and Honesty48:59 The Journey of Self-Discovery52:03 Understanding Different Addictive Behaviors58:12 Navigating Substance Use and Social Norms59:58 The Journey of a Single Mother01:02:55 Love, Loss, and New Beginnings01:05:58 The Highs and Lows of Addiction01:09:52 The Cost of Addiction on Finances and Relationships01:24:31 The Impact of Addiction on Family Dynamics01:27:12 Breaking the Stigma of Addiction01:30:49 Accountability and Personal Growth in Recovery01:32:01 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Healing01:39:07 Understanding the Nature of Addiction01:41:01 The Role of Community in Recovery01:52:00 Finding Purpose in Recovery01:56:08 Embracing Authenticity and ConnectionSponsorsMcKelvey Insurance Grouphttps://mckelveyins.comLightSource Psychotherapyhttps://findyourlightsource.com

Fentanyl Killed My Son at a Sleepover | A Mother's Fight for JusticeTiffany Foster's son Zack was 13 when he died from fentanyl poisoning at a friend's sleepover. He wasn't an addict. It was his first time. Eight days after his birthday, he was gone.Tiffany shares Zack's story -- his childhood, the night of August 28th, four years of legal battles, and the advocacy work she does now. If you're a parent, someone in recovery, or anyone who loves a young person, this one is for you.Fentanyl doesn't discriminate. Two milligrams -- the tip of a pencil -- is lethal. Zack had 44.TIMESTAMPS00:00 -- Introduction to the Journey03:36 -- The Impact of Loss and Grief12:29 -- Understanding Zack's Childhood and Development24:32 -- Navigating Adolescence and Early Experimentation36:00 -- The Tragic Night and Its Consequences38:48 -- Navigating Parental Concerns42:05 -- The Night of the Incident44:28 -- The Shocking News51:50 -- Understanding the Overdose54:24 -- The Aftermath and Legal Proceedings01:01:32 -- The Trials and Sentencing01:19:12 -- Judicial System Insights and Parole Eligibility01:22:28 -- Navigating Grief and the Impact of Trials01:26:05 -- The Verdict: A Moment of Relief01:30:21 -- Joining the Fight Against Addiction01:33:08 -- Early Prevention and Education on Substance Use01:41:43 -- Hidden in Plain View: Raising Awareness01:48:11 -- Knowledge is Power: Engaging Parents in Prevention01:50:15 -- Creating Awareness Through Personal Stories01:52:53 -- The Importance of Authenticity in Communication01:56:05 -- Navigating Grief and Addiction02:01:40 -- The Journey of Recovery and Support02:05:51 -- The Role of Community in Healing02:10:37 -- Continuing the Conversation on AddictionABOUT ZACKBorn August 21, 2008. Outgoing, loving, never met a stranger. He loved horror movies, video games, soccer, and Halloween, and had a personality big enough to fill any room. He was eight days past his 13th birthday when he died. His toxicology came back with 44 milligrams of fentanyl -- a lethal dose is 2 to 5 milligrams, an amount that fits on the tip of a pencil.THE LEGAL OUTCOMEThree adults were charged. Andrew Amalong: convicted, 40 years concurrent. Thomas Noonan -- whose biological daughter had died from fentanyl three weeks before Zack -- convicted, 45 years consecutive with a repeat offender enhancement. Jury deliberations: 90 minutes and 30 minutes respectively. Final sentencing: August 2025.WHAT EVERY PARENT NEEDS TO HEARFentanyl is in marijuana, counterfeit pills, and things no one expects. Two milligrams is lethal.Zack was not an addict. This was his first time. One try can be fatal now.Talk to your kids early -- the fear that the conversation invites experimentation is wrong.Know where your kids sleep. Vet the household, not just whether a parent is home.Fentanyl poisoning does not care about grades, zip codes, or family stability.ADDICTION IS REALTiffany is a board member of Addiction Is Real, a St. Louis nonprofit focused on early substance use prevention and education. Their Hidden in Plain View program is a bedroom display with 70+ warning signs and stash items parents wouldn't recognize. They're building permanent mobile trailer displays -- needed by April 2026. Free parent toolkit at addictionisreal.org.SPONSORSLight Source PsychotherapyMcKelvey Insurance Group | 618-623-0080CONNECTpondoffsanonymous.comPondoff's Anonymous | Chris Pandoff, Zoe Mendenall, Jeff Allen | Illinois Recovery Center | Music: McCall -- "Anti-Hero"

“We Is Stronger Than Me” with Ryan Canaday & Karie McMullenPondoff’s Anonymous Ryan Canaday and Karie McMullen from FREE Recovery Community in Denver join us for a raw, thoughtful conversation about addiction, faith, grief, and the power of community. This episode explores what happens when recovery shifts from isolation to connection. We talk about shame, anger at God, burnout in ministry spaces, losing people to addiction, and the kind of spiritual community that makes room for doubt instead of punishing it. At the center of this episode is one simple but powerful idea: “we” is stronger than “me.”About FREE Recovery Community FREE Recovery Community (Denver, CO) https://www.freerecoverycommunity.com A spiritually grounded recovery community focused on connection, belonging, and breaking shame through honest conversation.Time Stamps 00:00 – Introduction to the journey 03:12 – Transformative moments in recovery 08:55 – Faith, community, and what actually helps people heal 12:54 – Doubt, anger at God, and staying spiritually honest 17:47 – Addiction and family systems 22:48 – Desperation, surrender, and what finally shifts 30:32 – “We” is stronger than “me” 35:03 – The illusion of anonymity and the power of shame 59:53 – How FREE Recovery Community started 01:05:56 – Grief, funerals, and the urgency of the work 01:30:31 – Representation and belonging in spiritual spaces 02:00:56 – Baptism and redemptionConnect with Pondoff’s Anonymous https://www.pondoffsanonymous.comSponsors McKelvey Insurance Group https://www.mckelveyins.com LightSource Psychotherapy (Belleville, IL) https://www.findyourlightsource.com

🔥 Pondoff’s Anonymous – Show Notes 🎙️ Episode Title: Grief, Phish, Fentanyl & Truth 🎧 Guest: Theresa SolstenWho this episode is for:- Those addicted to drugs and/or alcohol - Families grieving someone lost to overdose — or what we’re calling it now: poisoning - Anyone carrying shame in silence - Men who’ve never been told they’re allowed to feel - Anyone who’s ever made a mess of their life - Phish fans and the Phish-curious ---Theresa is back. And this one goes deep.Eight years ago, her sister Michelle died from fentanyl poisoning.Not a moral failure. Not a statistic. A poisoning.We talk about why language matters. Why “overdose” carries stigma. Why “poisoning” tells the truth. Most people who die from fentanyl never intended to die. They thought they were buying something else. They were wrong — and it cost them everything.Theresa shares:- Discovering her sister was using - Taking her to her first meeting - Clean time that ended quietly - The secrecy addicts build out of fear - The isolation of grieving someone society still judges “People choose isolation because they’re trying to feel safe.”That line hits.Addiction isn’t just self-destruction. It’s fear. Shame. Survival wiring that stopped working.We also talk about:- Therapy as preventative maintenance - Why support systems matter before crisis hits - Why men need emotional safe spaces - The “doorknob confession” phenomenon - How to challenge the thoughts that keep you stuck And yes — we talk about Phish.Because grief and joy coexist. You can carry loss and still debate your favorite live jam. You can mourn your sister and still show up to the show.Somewhere between cutting hair and holding space for clients unloading their lives, Theresa feels a pull toward something bigger in the recovery space. Behavioral health was her first love. Grief made it personal.Michelle’s story didn’t end when she died. It lives on every time it’s told.If you’ve ever:- Loved an addict - Been the addict - Lost someone and struggled to say it out loud - Sat in your car before work trying to steady yourself This episode is for you.Full transcript here: :contentReference[oaicite:0]{index=0} Sponsored by McKelvey Insurance (https://www.mckelveyins.com/) and LightSource Psychotherapy (https://findyourlightsource.com/).

Pondoff’s Anonymous is on a one week break, but we didn’t want to leave you hanging…So today we’re sharing an episode of our newer show, *Needed to Hear That*.This one is a do not miss.If you’ve ever connected with what we try to do here, honest conversations, recovery, mental health, and the stuff people usually don’t say out loud, this podcast is absolutely for you.Subscribe to *Needed to Hear That* so you don’t miss the next one.

Who this episode is for:Those addicted to drugs and/or alcohol who still think they’re in controlPeople living double lives and calling it “functional”Anyone carrying childhood trauma they’ve never dealt withFamilies trying to love someone who keeps self-destructingAnyone who’s ever made a mess of their life and told themselves it was ambitionThis episode is not clean.It’s not polished.And it sure as hell isn’t motivational fluff.This is a full, unfiltered autopsy of addiction.Chris Pondoff and Zoe Mendenall sit down with Triple X — addict in recovery, speaker, author, and recovery advocate — and let him tell the whole story. Not the safe version. Not the highlight reel. The real one.From growing up poor with emotional abuse and abandonment…to chasing validation, power, money, and belonging…to cocaine, meth, large-scale dealing, paranoia, prison, relapse, and finally rebuilding a life with structure and purpose.This conversation tears apart the myth of the “functional addict” and exposes how addiction often starts as a solution — until it becomes the cage you can’t escape.Triple X walks through it all:When cocaine felt like confidence.When money felt like control.When the pager never stopped buzzing.When the helicopter light hit the apartment.When fun turned into fear.When meth changed everything.When prison became inevitable.When recovery finally demanded structure, discipline, and boundaries.There’s no glamor here.Just ego, trauma, chaos, consequences — and the long road back.You’ll hear about:Childhood emotional abuse and abandonmentTrauma as the root, not the excuseWhy structure is non-negotiable in recoveryCocaine, meth, and the escalation trapThe business side of addiction and how it growsLiving two lives and being exhausted by bothArrest, plea deals, prison, and consequencesRelapse, shame, and getting back upBuilding a new life through discipline and purposeThis episode doesn’t ask for sympathy.It demands honesty.If you’re listening and thinking, “I’m not that bad,”you should probably keep listening.GUEST:Triple X — addict in recovery, speaker, author, and recovery advocateBOOK:Becoming the Change by Triple XSOCIAL MEDIA:TikTok: @be_the_change_recoveryBUSINESS:Muther MushroomWebsite: https://muthermushroom.com/(Launching in the coming weeks)EPISODE TIMELINE:00:00 Introduction and Sponsorships05:54 Personal Stories and Connections12:03 Childhood Trauma and Its Impact22:03 Radical Inclusion in Recovery28:57 The Illusion of Control: Functional Addiction35:40 The Highs and Lows of Cocaine Use43:15 The Business of Addiction: From Small to Large Scale52:47 The Turning Point: From Fun to Fear58:35 The Introduction to Methamphetamine01:04:32 Family Dynamics and Addiction01:22:30 Turning Point: From Struggle to Success01:30:01 The Exhaustion of Dual Lives01:39:59 The Inevitable Fall: Facing Consequences01:50:00 The Arrest: A Life Unraveled02:01:10 Plea Bargaining and Sentencing02:12:23 Post-Prison Life and Business Ventures02:19:23 Relapse and Recovery Journey02:30:04 The Struggle with Addiction02:35:44 The Turning Point: A Wake-Up Call02:42:18 The Power of Positive Reinforcement02:48:32 Building a New Life: Recovery and BusinessNothing about recovery is pretty.But it’s real.And it’s possible.Sponsored by McKelvey Insurance (https://www.mckelveyins.com/) and LightSource Psychotherapy (https://findyourlightsource.com/).

Who this episode is for:Those addicted to drugs and/or alcohol.Anyone rebuilding after wreckage—physical, emotional, legal.People whose guts are wrecked and spirits even worse.Ex-party people trying to become whole humans.Fitness freaks, trauma healers, and closet sugar junkies.Anyone who's ever made a mess of their life and needed to start over—again.Sam Lander has lived a few lifetimes in one. This episode goes hard into her journey—from synchronized swimmer and college partier to LA chaos and courtrooms to spiritual awakening and gut healing. She’s seen it all and now helps others feel better in their bodies and lives through science-backed, soul-conscious wellness work.Sam opens up about the rollercoaster of addiction, relapse, rehab, and recovery—not once, but over years of painful unraveling and healing. She talks about the pink cloud of early sobriety, how the body holds trauma, and what it really means to rebuild after everything falls apart.And she doesn’t just talk it—she lives it. Today, she runs a full-scale health and wellness practice that dives deep into gut health, hormones, and the mind-body connection. She’ll teach you how to run labs on yourself, heal your insides, and maybe even laugh while shitting in a box. Real talk.This is an episode about survival, reinvention, and finally figuring out what the hell makes you feel alive—and feel good.Work with Sam and get your gut right at:https://seefitpt.comFollow her on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/seefitlivingTIME STAMPS:00:00 Navigating Distractions and Reactions05:08 Healthy Eating and Lifestyle Changes11:57 Sober Living and Its Challenges17:57 Personal Stories and Life Lessons24:05 The Impact of Substance Use30:12 Reflections on Recovery and Growth36:02 Life in Los Angeles and Career Paths42:01 Facing Consequences and Legal Issues46:28 Navigating Personal Struggles49:30 The Journey of Recovery52:23 Finding Strength in Vulnerability54:39 Life Lessons from Adversity56:42 The Impact of Relationships on Recovery01:00:50 Health and Wellness Insights01:02:19 The Role of Nutrition in Recovery01:06:33 Understanding Mental Health Challenges01:10:32 The Importance of Support Systems01:15:31 Reflections on Growth and ChangeSponsored by🛡️ McKelvey Insurance – https://www.mckelveyins.com🧠 LightSource Psychotherapy – https://findyourlightsource.com

Who this episode is for:Anyone who’s ever been owned by their addictionParents trying to fix what their kids won’t talk aboutBusiness bros who grind all day and snort all nightPeople trying to outrun their past (good luck)Anyone who’s ever made a mess of their life and called it “fun”The quietly curious — not in recovery (yet), but wondering what all the wreckage is really aboutThis week on Pondoff’s Anonymous, we go all the way in with Shawn Vinson — entrepreneur, ex-party monster, and the kind of guy who used to outdrink you, outwork you, and then take your girlfriend… all before brunch. But behind the suits and the lake house blowouts was a man chasing oblivion at full throttle.Shawn gets real about growing up with a broken relationship blueprint, drowning in validation-seeking, and building a life so externally successful it nearly killed him. We’re talking ecstasy-fueled club nights, lines in the bathroom at family events, and trying to “dad” while his soul was on fire.You’ll hear how a 12-step program flipped his rage into clarity, why prayer is now part of his survival kit, and how he’s channeling his chaos into coaching and entrepreneurship. There’s also a moment where his two-year-old daughter checks him on his cocaine eyes. If you’re not wrecked after that… you might already be.We hit everything from early insecurity and high school boozing, to the brutal come-to-Jesus moments that make recovery stick. And yeah — we go deep on what it really means to rebuild a life from the ashes when no one’s clapping and nothing’s pretty.Episode Breakdown (You Know the Drill):00:00 – Shot of Coffee and a Side of Chaos01:28 – Meet Shawn Vinson: The Wolf of Wall Street of the Ozarks04:52 – Families: Can’t Live with ’Em, Can’t Stay Sober Without ’Em12:08 – Addiction Doesn’t Just Wreck You — It Torches the Whole Family Tree18:24 – When a Toddler Calls Out Your Cocaine Eyes24:59 – 12-Step Rage Turned 12-Step Redemption31:14 – Young, Dumb, and Looking for Love in All the Dysfunctional Places31:42 – Medicated and Proud: The Daily Ritual That Keeps Us Sane32:25 – High School: Insecurity, Hormones, and Bud Light34:17 – Booze as a Social Superpower (Until It Isn’t)37:22 – Discovering Ecstasy and the Gospel of Velvet Nightclub40:08 – Cocaine, Clubs, and the Illusion of Invincibility43:17 – New Friends, New Lows, and All the Free Drinks You Can Snort46:20 – Corporate Hustle Meets Party Animal: Shawn Joins the Family Biz51:31 – The Lake House Turns Into a Blown‑Out Frat Mansion52:28 – Consequences: The House Always Wins56:23 – Chasing the First High Straight Into Hell59:31 – Chaos, Camaraderie, and the Power of Unlikely Brotherhood01:01:47 – Why Vulnerability Feels Like Taking Your Skin Off01:03:24 – Addiction Is an Equal Opportunity Destroyer01:06:12 – Love, Lust, and Lines of Blow: Relationships in the Wreckage01:10:14 – Sobriety Isn’t a Destination — It’s a Fucking Fight01:19:30 – Owning the Fallout, One Step at a Time01:26:13 – Looking Back to Move Forward (Even When It Hurts Like Hell)01:29:36 – Early Recovery: Welcome to the Emotional Blender01:32:19 – Community, Accountability, and Not Doing This Shit Alone01:39:08 – Prayer, Presence, and Getting Intentional With Life01:47:04 – From Snorting Lines to Coaching Lives: Shawn’s Next ChapterCheck out Shawn’s coaching work at: https://xpansion.comSponsored by:McKelvey Insurance – https://www.mckelveyins.com/LightSource Psychotherapy – https://findyourlightsource.com/

Who this episode is for:- Bar owners who can’t stop drinking their own profits - Anyone who thinks boating and sobriety can’t mix - Those living with the secret shame of family dysfunction - People who think recovery means giving up fun - Old-school St. Louisans with a soft spot for Trainwreck Saloon - Anyone who’s ever made a mess of their lifeIf you’ve ever built a life that looked good on paper but felt like a slow-motion disaster, this one’s for you.Chris and Zoë sit down with St. Louis bar legend George Hansford—founder and owner of the iconic Trainwreck Saloon—and get real about 40+ years in the brutal bar business, alcoholism, grief, family secrets, and finally, finding hope at the end of a bottle. Literally.George opens up about growing up in Brentwood, losing both parents by age 25, and how years of unprocessed pain fueled a decades-long drinking career—until a packed suitcase and one final bender forced him to change. This episode dives deep into how trauma festers into addiction—and how it can be healed through honesty, community, and one hell of a recovery journey that took George from the landing to Key West, where he now runs Courage Charters (http://www.couragecharters.com), a name inspired by the Serenity Prayer and powered by the gift of sobriety.This dude’s not just running boats—he’s giving people hope on the water. And if that doesn’t make you cry or at least book a four-hour sandbar escape, check your pulse.Also in this episode:- Tales from Brentwood ice rink and run-ins with NHL legends - A behind-the-scenes look at the wildest nights in STL bar history - What it’s like to get sober when *you* are the bar owner - Why interventions suck—but sometimes still work - The life-changing power of “suitcase day” (aka when your wife finally packs your shit) - What recovery looks like in Key West (spoiler: it’s not all Jimmy Buffett and sunburns)Find George:Facebook – Trainwreck Saloon: http://www.facebook.com/TrainwreckSaloon Facebook – Courage Charters: http://www.facebook.com/couragecharters 🛥️ Book a charter: http://www.couragecharters.com 🍔 Grab a bison burger: http://www.trainwrecksaloon.comWhat’s inside (yeah, we timestamped the chaos):0:00 – Intro & sponsor shoutout 2:59 – The legacy of Trainwreck Saloon 5:58 – Brentwood roots, bison burgers, and Blues players at the bar 9:00 – Alcoholism in the family and trying to outrun it 11:59 – Running bars, losing control, and pretending everything’s fine 15:00 – Death, denial, and what it really means to heal 18:00 – Getting sober after 30+ years of burying pain 20:48 – From the bar scene to recovery scene: how shit changed 23:56 – Fireball, slot machines, and surviving the modern bar biz 26:58 – What’s next after recovery (hint: it involves a boat) 29:00 – Drinking culture then vs. now 31:40 – Health failing, marriage breaking—rock bottom creeps in 32:35 – Suitcase day: when your wife packs your shit and saves your life 35:01 – What real support in recovery looks like 39:04 – Why relapse happens, and how George finally got honest 41:20 – Building community when you're the former drunk at your own bar 45:17 – Losing a friend, finding purpose, and becoming a fucking captain 51:31 – Courage Charters is born: a new life on the water 56:44 – Sobriety is a gift. Period. 1:00:14 – Key West living: fishing, chillin’, and real peace 1:03:02 – Tourists vs. locals: the truth about “laid back” 1:05:58 – Recovery in paradise: meetings, connection, and keeping it simple 1:08:04 – Prayer, resentment, and doing the hard shit anyway 1:09:54 – Service work, growth, and giving back 1:10:58 – A surprise trip to Cuba 1:18:09 – Grief, love, and the long road to healing 1:19:55 – COVID, restaurants, and everything that changedSponsored by: 🛡️ McKelvey Insurance – http://www.mckelveyins.com 🧠 LightSource Psychotherapy – http://www.findyourlightsource.com

Who this episode is for:- Anyone who’s ever woken up wondering how the hell they survived their 20s- Former party girls turned spiritual gangsters- People in recovery who still laugh at their darkest stories- Anyone with complicated daddy issues- Midwest transplants trying to make peace with the lack of decent tacos- And most importantly: the still-struggling, the not-yet-sober, the ones who think it’s too late—this one’s for youAddiction, Grief, and Grace with Rene HudsonRene Hudson didn’t just dip her toe in the chaos—she cannonballed straight into it. In this raw-as-hell episode, Chris, Zoe, and (MIA) Jeff sit down with Rene, a certified SoCal wild child turned St. Louis recovery badass, to unpack a story that ricochets from beach bonfires and punk shows to addiction, grief, and spiritual rebirth.This isn’t some sanitized, “I found Jesus and now everything’s fine” kind of thing. Rene brings the real: pierced nipples as teenage rebellion, doing shots and hitting rock bottom, crashing on a boat with no working toilet, and falling into a love story that ends in heartbreak and hard lessons.You'll hear about her fast spiral into addiction, her time as the life of the party in OC’s house scene, meeting her late partner Noah (who moved in after one night and never left), and how she went from vodka breakfasts to full-body baptisms at The Gathering.The crew veers off course plenty—talking bridges, airport food etiquette, Sergeant Sausage the male stripper, and Nicholas Cage melting down at Newport bars—but it always comes back to the raw truth of recovery, trauma, and what it means to rebuild a life from scratch.This one’s funny, heartbreaking, weird, and wildly human. Just like Rene.00:00 Shoutout to the sponsors02:59 Bridge drama and Midwest geography lessons06:07 Boomers, Gen Z, and Y2K brain damage08:57 Growing up in SoCal11:58 St. Louis nice vs. California real15:01 Bonfires, beach boys, and busted boat toilets18:04 Nick Cage is a freak and we love that for him18:55 Con Air, In-N-Out, and late-night cravings21:19 Airport food shaming and clean eating confessions24:41 Real ones go to church27:56 First time telling the whole damn story33:37 Turning the wreckage into something valuable39:36 Military childhoods and doing it all yourself42:01 Teenage love, heartbreak, and “marriage?!”45:55 Nipples pierced out of spite48:50 Party girl era unlocked54:59 It starts out fun—until it’s not01:00:02 Running from everything01:02:59 A brain full of chaos01:04:57 Moving to Florida, still running01:06:55 Relationships, broken and breaking01:10:01 Losing Noah01:16:58 Grief, relapse, and trying to survive it01:20:21 Family pain and recovery roadblocks01:24:11 Putting the pieces back together01:26:40 Finally giving recovery a real shot01:27:25 Why extended care isn’t optional01:31:40 Love, support, and the shit that saves us01:33:20 The slippery slope of sobriety01:39:25 Finding your people01:42:11 Helping others = healing yourself01:46:55 It gets better—but not by accidentCheck out the recovery community that helped change Rene’s life:👉 https://gatheringnow.org/recoverySponsored by🛡️ McKelvey Insurance – https://www.mckelveyins.com/💡 LightSource Psychotherapy – https://findyourlightsource.com/

This ain’t your tidy little self-help podcast. This is a molotov cocktail of truth, trauma, healing, heartbreak, and a whole lotta swearing. We’re cracking open some of the rawest, realest, and most *fuck-it-let’s-go-there* moments from Season Two. If you're not ready to get honest, bounce now.First up, Megan Gehrs and Bree Badgley are back after five years. These two come in hot—talking relapses, divorces, cookie cakes, sober birthdays, and how to sit in self-pity without drowning in it. Megan shares what it’s like staying sober with a fully stocked liquor cabinet in the house. Bree opens up about blackouts, bruises, and holding her newborn niece in the hospital while still swollen from the night before. This ain’t Instagram recovery—it’s the messy, beautiful kind.Then Christina Preston drops a fucking hammer: kidnapped, trafficked, and held in a hotel room with a pistol on the console. She survived it. Barely. And now she’s helping women claw their way back from the same hell she escaped. This is not a movie. This is real. And it happens down the damn street.Kurt Garner swings through next—radio host, tequila junkie turned sober globetrotter. From Mexican strip clubs with angry bouncers to solo Valentine’s Day JT concerts in Chicago, he proves life doesn’t end when the bottle does. His turning point? A 10 a.m. tequila binge after a failed date that led to pouring out the bottle and walking toward something better.Then we go deep with Sean Weiss—yeah, *that* Sean Weiss. Goldberg from *The Mighty Ducks*. You’ve seen the mugshots. But this dude has lived through shit most people wouldn’t survive. $20K gone in three months. Dope. Shoplifting. Using a needle he *knew* was HIV-positive because detox hurt more than death. This conversation isn’t for the faint of heart—but it’s for the ones still out there thinking there’s no way back.And finally, Rafe Williams takes the mic. Stand-up comic, radio guy, and full-time truth-teller. He cracks jokes about Southern Illinois, grandma’s Doral cartons, and Paducah gas station cigarettes—but make no mistake, he’s lived it. The rooms, the relapses, the rollercoaster of finding peace in a loud-ass world. He gets honest about masculinity, depression, and why vulnerability is a hell of a lot scarier than any open mic.This one’s for anyone who’s tired of hiding. You don’t have to pretend anymore. Just press play.---CHAPTERS 00:00 Introduction to Honest Conversations 02:08 Returning to Recovery: Megan Gehrs and Bree Badgley 05:01 Personal Struggles: Divorce and Alcoholism 12:15 The Impact of Alcohol on Relationships 19:52 Mental Health: Anxiety and Depression 25:35 The Journey of Healing and Community Support 26:03 Understanding Human Trafficking and Addiction 35:00 Finding Redemption and New Beginnings 40:41 The Wild Night Out in Mexico 45:43 Rediscovering Life Without Alcohol 51:31 Finding Joy in Sobriety 56:14 The Cost of Addiction 01:01:05 The Importance of Family in Recovery 01:06:15 The Journey of Recovery and Transformation 01:20:13 Reflections on Home and Change 01:23:14 Growing Up in Small Towns: A Unique Perspective 01:26:00 The Struggles of Vulnerability and Masculinity 01:29:18 The Battle with Addiction: A Personal Journey 01:31:07 The Impact of Sobriety on Relationships 01:33:02 The Downfall of a Sports Star: Addiction and Consequences 01:40:13 Finding Humility in Recovery 01:45:59 The Role of Faith in Overcoming Addiction 01:47:50 Understanding Identity and Acceptance 01:59:29 Gratitude for Honest Conversations---Sponsored by McKelvey Insurance https://www.mckelveyins.com/ And LightSource Psychotherapy https://findyourlightsource.com/

A Mother’s Story with Shelly ViveritoWho this episode is for:- Parents who’ve lost a child and are still standing somehow- Anyone who’s ever loved an addict and didn’t know how to help- Folks who’ve been burned by shady recovery programs- Those struggling with meth, depression, or both- Anyone trying to make meaning from unimaginable grief- And anyone who’s ever made a mess of their life and lived to tell the taleThis one’s not for the faint of heart.Shelly Viverito joins the Pondoff’s Anonymous crew to tell a story no parent should ever have to tell — the rise, fall, and redemption of her son Nick, who battled brutal addiction, got clean, rebuilt his life, and then was ripped away by a random, deadly brain bleed. He beat meth. He beat depression. And he still died at 39.This is a mother’s war story. From locking her door at night during his meth psychosis… to getting a tattoo of his sobriety date… to launching a foundation in his name that now funds sober living for other young men fighting for their lives.Nick Wilson may be gone, but his light — and his pit bull Jax — continue to move mountains through Shelly’s advocacy, fundraising, and raw honesty.Learn more:💥 The Nick Wilson Foundation: https://www.thenickwilsonfoundation.org💥 Learn to Live Recovery: https://learntoliverecovery.com💥 Harris House: https://www.harrishouse.orgTime Stamps:00:00 Introduction to Recovery and Support02:51 Navigating Personal Stories and Backgrounds12:51 The Journey of Addiction and Recovery26:19 Understanding the Impact of Addiction on Families27:22 The Cost of Recovery Programs28:44 The Challenges of Interventions30:34 The Impact of Hope in Recovery32:18 Navigating Relapse and Recovery37:30 Finding Support in Recovery Programs40:10 The Role of Family in Recovery43:55 The Journey to Independence53:28 Tragedy and Loss in Recovery56:35 The Gift of Life: Organ Donation and Its Impact57:57 Navigating Grief: A Mother's Journey01:00:02 Finding Purpose Through Pain: Advocacy and Speaking Out01:02:57 Creating a Legacy: The Nick Wilson Foundation01:07:34 Community and Connection: The Power of Support Groups01:12:57 Healing Through Fun: The Importance of Joy in Grief01:22:33 Creating Community and Support01:25:06 The Power of Shared Experiences01:29:50 Fundraising and Community Events01:31:11 The Importance of Mental Health Awareness01:34:40 Finding Hope in Tragedy01:39:04 Celebrating Life and ConnectionSponsored by:👉 McKelvey Insurance: https://www.mckelveyins.com👉 LightSource Psychotherapy: https://findyourlightsource.com

Welcome to the unfiltered chaos of Pondoff’s Anonymous, where recovery meets real life with no bleep button. This week, it’s a full‑house f*ck‑around session with Chris, Jeff, Zoe, and special guest Kenny “Iggy” Strode — the St. Louis radio legend with a sharp tongue, a broken filter, and a suspiciously high body count.You want deep? We’ve got deep. You want weird? Strap the hell in.Iggy drops stories from Bermuda beaches (where topless tourists get scolded by dudes in linen), explains how a freaky music review got him a nickname that’s lasted 50 years, and claims full credit for the BlueChew catchphrase that celebrities now scream into the void. Zoe brings warmth, humor, and grounded honesty — talking about music, recovery, and showing up with heart. Chris puts it best: it just means more having a strong female voice in the mix. Jeff and Chris unveil the upcoming Pondoff Anonymous Media Network and the new app that’ll put recovery, resources, and rogue banter in your damn pocket.Also covered:– How to apologize for Facebook ghosting live on‑air– Why “I’d like that” is the worst line in any movie ever– The theology of poop mirrors and peanut butter mishaps– When grief, comedy, Jesus, and erectile dysfunction collide– Singing for the Spirit, shaving your balls, and showing up anyway📲 New app drops January🎙️ Pondoff Anonymous Network launching with three weekly shows💀 Recovery, mental health, addiction, grief, nudity, and boner jokes — all wrapped up in love and laughter00:00 Introduction to Recovery and Community Support05:52 The Importance of Mental Health and Therapy12:06 Building a Podcast Network and Future Plans14:52 The Role of Humor and Lightheartedness in Recovery17:59 Reflections on Pets and Personal Growth24:19 Cultural Norms and Nudity25:30 Identity and Nicknames26:42 High School Dynamics and Music29:28 Relationships and Social Connections31:10 Podcasting and Community Engagement35:23 Mental Health and Recovery Advocacy39:09 Personal Stories and Impact42:56 Humor and Lighthearted Banter47:18 Navigating Personal Challenges49:10 Pet Peeves in Movies and TV Shows50:57 The Art of Performance and Stage Presence54:52 The Power of Authenticity in Sharing Stories01:01:12 The Impact of Addiction and Recovery01:07:01 The Importance of Community Support01:15:46 Podcasting Insights and Personal Reflections01:18:40 Navigating Mental Health and Social Work01:21:31 Community Building and Support Systems01:26:09 Creative Ventures and Future Aspirations01:32:33 Personal Stories and Connections01:38:26 Exploring Love and Connection01:39:05 Family Bonds and Shared Experiences01:41:06 Navigating Life’s Challenges01:42:01 Pet Peeves and Movie Critiques01:43:34 The Role of Nudity in Film01:45:32 Understanding the Adult Industry01:49:41 The Complexity of Relationships01:50:27 Empathy and Understanding in Recovery01:52:00 The Importance of Female Voices01:54:19 Grief and Loss in the Industry01:56:34 The Impact of Online Interactions01:58:44 Finding Peace Amidst Chaos☕ Check out the coffee that fuels the chaos:Light in the Dark – A bold Colombian roast born in recovery, made with Long Story Coffee.Available now at: https://www.pondoffsanonymous.comSupport Kenny “Iggy” Strode’s Patreon:👉 https://www.patreon.com/IggyUncutSponsored by:McKelvey Insurance – https://www.mckelveyins.com/LightSource Psychotherapy – https://findyourlightsource.com/

Who this episode is for:- Anyone who’s ever been fired and thought maybe I am the problem- People in recovery who still have a bottle whispering their name- Anyone working a toxic job and trying to smile through it- Foster parents or those considering the leap- LGBTQ+ folks living under labels that don’t fit- News junkies who wanna know what really goes down off-camera- And of course, anyone who’s made a flaming, glorious mess of their lifeSeason 2, Episode 43 – Anthony Slaughter on God, Guts, and Getting the Hell Back UpSponsored by:🛡️ McKelvey Insurance🧠 LightSource PsychotherapyAnthony Slaughter — former TV weatherman, credentialed meteorologist, single dad, and walking miracle — pulls no punches in this unforgettable episode.He talks about growing up in a Black-Portuguese family, losing his mom at age 7, and stepping up to adopt his twin nephews — babies born into chaos and addiction. And just when it seems the story can’t get heavier, it does.This is the first time (that we know of, in long form anyway) Anthony publicly opens up — really opens up — about getting fired from KSDK.One week he’s in a yearly review. The next? Walked out the door. Suddenly, managers had “concerns.” He was too goofy. Too confident. Too...himself.“It turned from me wanting to please the community… to just wanting to please one person — the boss.”He talks about the confusion, burnout, and identity crisis that came with getting dumped by a job he gave everything to. He saw coworkers vanish, leadership flail, and mediocrity rewarded.Here’s where it gets real: Anthony was already in recovery. Already had whiskey in the rearview. That firing? Could’ve broken him. Almost did.“You leave work so annoyed the first thing you wanna do is drink.”But this time… he didn’t.He journaled. He lifted. He moved.And out of the wreckage came peace.Instead of spiraling, he cracked open.Instead of drinking, he started dreaming again.Instead of chasing ratings, he started living.Now he’s building a YouTube channel. Selling weather shirts. Playing pickleball. And most importantly — telling the truth, finally, on his own terms.Time Stamps00:00 Introduction to Recovery and Coffee08:01 The Emotional Connection to Weather16:05 Life Changes and Family Dynamics28:01 Navigating Foster Care Challenges32:55 The Importance of Community Support35:29 Understanding Developmental Delays36:54 Therapy in Parenting39:00 Personal Struggles with Addiction42:04 Reflections on Life Choices44:15 Impact of Trauma on Children49:40 Lessons from Privilege51:36 Rebellion in Parenting55:19 Health Scares and Wake-Up Calls59:30 The Non-Linear Path of Recovery01:00:46 The Cost of Authenticity01:02:51 Anthony spills the tea on KSDK01:05:46 Challenges of News Ratings01:08:54 Navigating Career Changes01:12:08 Life Beyond News01:14:55 Struggles of Media Management01:18:02 Personal Growth and New Beginnings01:24:21 Theater and Connection01:27:07 Instincts and Self-Discovery01:29:09 New Ventures and Creativity01:31:04 Importance of Free Headspace01:32:38 Alcohol and Personal Choices01:40:13 Substances and Coping01:43:00 Identity and Acceptance01:49:06 Self-Acceptance01:51:30 Breaking Religious Constraints01:54:10 Biblical Misinterpretations01:57:10 Journey to Self-Acceptance02:04:02 Love and Community02:10:03 Supporting Foster Youth02:16:07 Culinary Passions02:21:58 Power of TransformationFollow Anthony Slaughter📸 Instagram: @theweatherguru📘 Facebook: facebook.com/WthrmnSlaughter▶️ YouTube: youtube.com/@wthrmnslaughter👕 Merch: skywx.myshopify.comSupport the Aralean Brown Older Youth Readiness Fund:foster-adopt.org/older-youth-readiness-fundTry PONDOFF’S COFFEE:☕ “Light in the Dark” – Colombian roast with Long Story CoffeeBuy it at: pondoffsanonymous.com

Sponsored by McKelvey Insurance and LightSource Psychotherapy.Who this episode is for: Anyone who’s ever tried to outrun their demons with a six-pack and a Stratocaster. Those who believe pain is the price of creativity. Anyone who's fallen down the rabbit hole of booze, bar tabs, and backstage passes. Recovering musicians, sober-curious punks, and people who've hit rock bottom with a guitar in hand. People who don’t believe in rock bottom—until they slam into it face first. And especially: anyone who thinks addiction is somebody else’s problem.Matt Pryor, frontman of The Get Up Kids, joins the Pondoff’s Anonymous crew and brings the fucking heat. From teenage Alateen meetings to tour bus whiskey benders, Pryor lays it all out—no filter, no fluff. This is the raw-ass story of a man who went from punk rock poster boy to broken, bedbound, and ready to die… before clawing his way out and writing a brutally honest record about the whole damn mess.Chris, Jeff, and Zoe dig deep with Pryor into the romanticized chaos of the music industry, the quiet hell of performing for thousands while dead inside, and what it takes to rebuild your soul from the inside out. We get real about diabetes, depression, spiritual recovery, and the hot mess that is AA vs. Dharma vs. “whatever keeps you alive and growing.”Also on deck: The shittiest non-alcoholic beers of the '90s Whether deep dish pizza is a valid hangover cure (spoiler: no) Detoxing with a diabetic’s nightmare hospital staff Satanic recovery groups and why they might be your jam Wrestling, wrestling, and more goddamn wrestling Touring Europe sober (and terrified) And the raw fucking truth about hitting a stage clean for the first time in decadesPryor’s not selling redemption stories or tidy endings. He’s here to tell the truth: recovery is weird, hard, slow—and fucking worth it.Episode Time Stamps: 00:00 Introduction to Recovery and Coffee 02:59 The Journey of Matt Pryor: From Music to Recovery 06:08 The Impact of Addiction on Lives and Music 08:46 Navigating the Music Scene: Drinking and Creativity 11:56 Romanticizing Addiction in the Music Industry 14:54 Finding Creativity Beyond Substance Use 18:00 The Shift in Music Culture: Sober-Friendly Spaces 20:58 Personal Reflections on Recovery and Creativity 23:55 Defining Success in the Music Industry 31:07 The Evolution of Passion in Music 32:46 Navigating Early Success and Its Pitfalls 34:41 Hitting Rock Bottom: A Journey Through Darkness 36:10 The Road to Recovery: Detox and Sobriety 39:23 Relearning Life: Sober Living in a Party Environment 41:28 The Impact of Alcohol on Health and Relationships 44:31 Diabetes and Alcohol: A Dangerous Combination 48:31 Challenges in Medical Detox and Recovery 52:45 The Stigma of Addiction and Recovery 56:35 Finding Alternative Paths in Recovery 01:01:10 The Importance of Community in Recovery 01:06:00 Navigating Spirituality and Recovery 01:11:25 Understanding Human Nature and Addiction 01:13:15 The Creative Process: Writing and Recovery 01:20:00 Artistic Expression and Personal InterpretationLinks & Resources: Matt Pryor on Instagram: @mattpryorsongs Listen to Matt’s brutally honest record “The Dishonesty”: mattpryorsongs.substack.com Catch Matt live – Tour dates & tickets at: mattpryorandthesaltonsea.comSupport the Show:Grab Light in the Dark Coffee: A bold, Colombian roast made by the show with Long Story Coffee.Buy it at: pondoffsanonymous.comSponsored by McKelvey Insurance and LightSource Psychotherapy.

Who this episode is for:Those walking through the fire of addiction.Anyone who grew up in chaos and called it normal.Parents raising kids with trauma in their eyes.Social workers hanging by a thread.Therapists questioning if they’re helping or just absorbing.And anyone who's ever face-planted in life, looked up, and thought, “Fuck. Now what?”CHAZ FRANKE RETURNS: MENTOR, THERAPIST, TRAUMA SHERPAWe took last week off because of Thanksgiving—calm down, we're allowed to have lives. But to make it up to you, we're throwing it back to one of the most powerful convos ever recorded in the Pondoff’s Anonymous studio: Chris and the inimitable Chaz Franke, therapist, mentor, and walking embodiment of “safe adult.”And here’s the real kicker—this isn’t just a rerun. It’s a preview. Chris and Chaz are teaming up to launch a brand-new show under the PA umbrella in the new year. He’s the brilliant. Chris is… well, let’s just say it’s appropriately titled.In this episode, you’ll hear why Chaz has been the go-to guy for the hardest shit in Chris’s life since the ice rink days. They unpack everything from adolescent chaos and Zamboni-fueled misadventures to trauma, addiction, meth, grief, and how the fuck we’re supposed to survive it all.Chaz breaks down why people turn to drugs not because they’re weak, but because the pain is unbearable—and why the world’s answer to that has been to shame them. He explains the realm of hungry ghosts, the devastating weight of childhood neglect, and why trauma isn’t what happened—it’s what never got healed.Raw, funny, heartbreaking, and deeply human—this one’s a time capsule of the broken-to-healing pipeline. And a taste of what’s to come.Chapters:00:00 Thanksgiving Reflections and Show Launch01:30 Insurance and Mental Health Support02:17 Introducing Light in the Dark Coffee03:39 Personal Milestones and Family News04:35 Welcoming Chas Frankie: A Mentor's Perspective08:11 Exploring Trauma and Addiction10:15 Nostalgic Ice Rink Stories12:31 Friendship and Shared Memories20:09 Reflections on Personal Growth and Challenges27:54 The Journey to Social Work34:09 First Experiences in Counseling40:20 Understanding Addiction and Its Roots49:57 The Impact of Trauma on Addiction56:02 The Role of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)01:04:39 Navigating Mental Health Conversations01:06:08 Creating Safe Spaces for Therapy01:09:27 The Concept of Light Source in Therapy01:12:42 Community Investment and Support01:14:02 The Impact of Telehealth on Therapy01:19:35 Feedback and Adaptation in Therapy01:22:38 The Importance of Safe Adults in Trauma Recovery01:28:12 Reflections on Personal Growth and SupportMentions:🧠 Chaz Franke’s therapy practice: https://findyourlightsource.com☕ Light in the Dark Coffee: https://pondoffsanonymous.com📚 Book drop: In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Maté📍 Location: LightSource is located at 114 East Lincoln St, Belleville, ILSponsored by:McKelvey InsuranceLightSource Psychotherapy

It’s the F*ck Around Show — and this one is the full buffet: trauma, texting, family dysfunction, emo heart emojis, and coffee that’ll punch you in the soul.Chris, Jeff, and Zoë go deep and unhinged in this raw ride through recovery, relationships, and roasting the sh*t out of each other (and themselves). From whether ghosts can be good friends to why Zoë refuses to text anyone back unless you’re sending emojis with flair, this episode hits all the avoidant-attached neurotic highs and lows.We get into how ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) meetings saved people’s a**es, why support groups are for more than addicts, and what it means to be haunted by unhealed sh*t. Pondoff opens up about surviving real violence (yes, whiskey bottles and all), and Zoë shares the exact story of her conception — yes, weed, cheesecake, and genitals are involved.There’s also:Emotional support punch cardsCoffee that funds the pod (https://www.pondoffsanonymous.com)A musical interlude about inclusive worship songs that’ll have you crying in your recovery mugA debate about Siri voices and Amish communication standardsA collective obsession with The SopranosA quick pitch for executive assistants who also respond to texts (aka unicorns)This ep also features one of the wildest detours into strip clubs, pit bulls, bouncers, and the logistics of Zoe and Kathy house-sitting without burning down Chris’s life.Also, Pondoff says something outrageous in a sermon. So there’s that.Time stamps (DO NOT MISS):00:00 Introduction to Recovery and Coffee02:03 Navigating Communication in Friendships05:56 Understanding Attachment Styles11:59 Exploring Personal Relationships and Boundaries17:59 Humorous Anecdotes and Family Dynamics23:56 Navigating Family Dynamics and Healing26:20 The Importance of Support Groups28:00 Avoidance and Communication Challenges29:49 The Necessity of Change in Recovery32:00 Facing the Fear of Change33:58 Reflections on Personal Experiences35:59 The Role of Music in Healing39:00 Introducing New Show Concepts41:55 Promoting Community and Connection45:02 Coffee and Community Engagement48:04 Struggles with Weight and Substance Use51:30 Reflections on The Sopranos56:03 Personal Dynamics and Relationships01:01:05 Plans for Future Shows and Guests01:10:37 Building a Supportive Community01:13:46 The Power of Shared Stories01:17:33 Creating a Safe Space for Healing01:19:55 Redefining Church and Community01:24:56 The Importance of Connection and Outreach01:29:50 Transformative Stories of Recovery01:34:58 Encouragement and Affirmation in Community01:39:01 Looking Ahead: Future InitiativesFind the good sh*t:Light in the Dark roast – a bold Colombian collab with Long Story Coffee. Available now at pondoffsanonymous.comSong: Plowshare Prayer by Spencer LaJoyelongstorycoffee.com – use code PONDOFF15 for 15% off anything except the show’s roastSponsored by:McKelvey InsuranceLightSource Psychotherapy

Get our coffee, Light in the Dark, now at http://pondoffsanonymous.com Sponsored by McKelvey Insurance and LightSource PsychotherapyWho this episode is for: People who drink to take the edge off but can’t figure out why it’s not working Moms barely holding it together while doing all the things Anyone juggling success and secret self-destruction Former athletes still chasing performance highs Folks in the gray zone between “I’m fine” and “I’m falling apart” And the ones who think it’s “just wine”This week, Chris, Jeff, and Zoe sit down with Allison Barber, a former collegiate gymnast turned alcohol freedom coach. Her story isn’t about a dramatic crash. It’s a slow slide—wine every night, quiet disconnection, pretending things are fine when they’re anything but.She got out not through rehab or AA, but by finding This Naked Mind and realizing she didn’t need to hit bottom to change. No rock bottom. No labels. Just truth and science and a better way forward.Now she helps others who feel stuck in the same loop—drinking more than they want to, quietly wondering if it’s a problem, and not sure where to turn. If you're sick of the guilt spiral and tired of trying to out-discipline your drinking, Allison’s approach will hit home.She’s real, honest, and living proof that freedom doesn’t require everything falling apart. You can change your story before it wrecks you.Find her at https://theinsideoutfreedom.com or email [email protected]: 00:00 – Sponsors 03:45 – Meet Allison Barber: gymnast, mom, nightly wine drinker 08:00 – Early perfectionism and pressure 13:15 – Bartles & James and beginning to self-medicate 22:00 – Marriage disconnect and drinking in secret 26:15 – The high-functioning lie 38:10 – Neck injury and the wake-up call 42:00 – Five bottles of wine in Florida 44:30 – Discovering This Naked Mind 53:30 – Becoming a certified coach 58:00 – Coaching without shame 1:06:00 – Parenting and healing 1:14:00 – Her last drink: June 21, 2020 1:18:32 – Confidence returns and major milestones 1:19:28 – theinsideoutfreedom.com and how to reach her 1:20:07 – Athletes and performance identity 1:21:10 – You don’t need to hit rock bottom 1:22:43 – The “sober curious” movement 1:25:43 – Ruth Langmore wisdom and humility 1:26:26 – Wine moms, COVID drinking, and purple teeth 1:29:00 – Heading to Hawaii without packing five bottles 1:31:36 – Recovery church and pizza 1:33:14 – Gratitude and staying connectedWork with Allison BarberVisit https://theinsideoutfreedom.com or email [email protected] to schedule a free discovery call. You don’t need to hit bottom. You just need to want something better.Sponsored by McKelvey Insurance LightSource Psychotherapy

Sponsored by:🛡️ McKelvey Insurance – https://www.mckelveyins.com🧠 LightSource Psychotherapy – https://findyourlightsource.comS2 E39 – Losing Everything to Find Recovery with Jake DunavantJake Dunavant shows up looking like a suburban dad with a Costco card. But don’t get it twisted. This man has walked through hell with a needle in his arm, kids in the next room, and nothing but chaos between him and redemption. A former union carpenter turned Senior Outreach Coordinator at Illinois Recovery Center, Jake is here to spill all the gut-punching, jaw-dropping, totally human details of his road from varsity wrestling to full-blown heroin addiction to reclaiming his family and purpose.In this wild ride of an episode, the crew dives deep into Jake’s early intro to weed and booze, the rapid-fire escalation to cocaine and opioids, and the business-decision logic of IV heroin use. You’ll hear about the overdoses (plural), the Narcan resurrections, and the terrifying moment DFS swooped in and took his babies while he and his wife were literally overdosing in the same house. And yeah, he came this close to letting it all go to shit.But against all odds, Jake and his wife Tabitha clawed their way back. Custody. Careers. Clean time. Faith. Family. All of it. He opens up about overcompensating as a parent, watching his son fumble a chance to compliment a girl (it’s hilarious), and how guilt-fueled parenting almost screwed them up all over again.You’ll also get the full backstory on how he “courted” his now-wife with a dresser full of pink oxys. Take as many as you want, babe. And the deeply emotional, unshakeable power of hearing your newborn cry, only to stop the second he hears your voice. Yeah, even while you’re high as hell.This one’s messy. It’s raw. It’s fucking real. If you’ve ever been there, or know someone who has, this episode will hit home in the deepest, ugliest, and most healing way.Time Stamps (Do Not Skip These):00:00 Introduction to the Podcast and Sponsors06:00 Introducing Jake Dunavant: A Personal Story14:03 The Role of Alcohol and Drugs in Youth19:56 The Escalation of Substance Use21:03 The Dangers of Modern Substance Use23:03 Parenting Through Addiction29:15 Overcoming Addiction and Regaining Custody32:11 The Narcan Experience36:16 The Role of Family and Faith in Recovery39:31 Empathy and Understanding in Addiction42:38 The Complexity of Love and Addiction45:11 The Journey from Pills to Heroin50:00 Reflections on Early Relationships and Substance Use50:40 The Power of Connection and Humor53:01 Navigating Relationships and Substance Use55:02 The Impact of Parenthood on Addiction59:00 The Struggles of Addiction and Family Dynamics01:02:02 Detox and the Journey to Recovery01:06:55 Life After Jail: A New Beginning01:13:36 The Cycle of Addiction and Recovery01:17:39 Finding Support and Connection01:18:16 The Struggles of Addiction01:19:32 Family Dynamics and Foster Care01:20:31 Resentment and Recovery01:21:10 Hitting Rock Bottom01:25:11 The Role of Compassionate Intervention01:27:15 Peer Support and Recovery01:29:13 The Impact of Medication in Recovery01:33:19 Building a New Life After Addiction01:40:12 The Journey to Recovery Begins01:43:07 Navigating Sober Living Challenges01:46:25 Building Accountability and Humility01:49:05 Rebuilding Relationships and Family Dynamics01:51:57 Full Circle: From Recovery to Helping Others02:00:04 Lived Experience: A Valuable Perspective02:10:06 Gratitude and Hope in RecoveryGuest: Jake Dunavant – Senior Outreach Coordinator at Illinois Recovery Center, former heroin addict, father, husband, and all-around beast of recovery.Check out Illinois Recovery Center: https://www.illinoisrecoverycenter.com

Who this episode is for:Those navigating trauma like a damn obstacle course.Anyone who’s ever been raised by chaos and still learned how to laugh.People who’ve walked out of therapy like it was a bad Tinder date.Survivors of fucked-up families who still believe in healing.Anyone tired of tiptoeing around their own pain.Those who love a little irreverence with their recovery.And yes—even people who aren’t in recovery but have ever felt like a complete mess trying to hold their shit together.S2 E38 – Introducing Zoë MendenallThis episode is the official introduction to our new co-host—and certified chaos enthusiast—Zoë Mendenall, MSW, trauma warrior, and walking tornado of wit, wounds, and wisdom.Chris and Jeff crack the mic with Zoë, who used to intern for Chris’ wife Ashley, and somehow found her way from clinical work to co-hosting this circus. She’s no stranger to the team—but now she’s on the mic, and she’s unfiltered.Zoë’s story? It’s brutal, beautiful, and deeply human. From growing up in a cyclone of addiction, loss, mental illness, and family trauma—to healing her throat chakra and ditching the vape—Zoë holds nothing back. She’s a proud “Jesus freak,” a therapy regular, a former Twitter menace (“If you’re not trying to mate like an anglerfish, I’m not interested”), and a woman who’s seen the inside of hell and still sings in church. For real.You’ll laugh. You’ll wince. You might cry. But mostly, you’ll feel like you just sat down with a friend who finally said all the shit you’ve been thinking. This is why Zoë belongs here—with us. With you. With this whole messed-up, miraculous community.Oh, and she ghosted Jeff’s Facebook request. So there’s that.CHAPTERS:00:00 Introduction to Pondoff's Anonymous and Sponsors02:57 The Impact of Chewing Sounds and Misophonia06:00 Zoe's Introduction and Her Unique Perspective08:58 Zoe's Life Experiences and Challenges12:07 Healing and Recovery: The Role of Vaping and Chakras14:59 Zoe's Tour of Illinois Recovery Center18:02 Transformational Journeys in Recovery20:59 Navigating Online Interactions and Safety Concerns21:43 The Impact of Social Media on Mental Health24:41 Navigating Personal Relationships and Boundaries27:11 Childhood Experiences and Family Dynamics35:15 Understanding Trauma and Its Long-Term Effects43:28 Friendship and Community Support44:53 Launching a New Church Initiative46:59 Mental Health Conversations49:41 Navigating Family Dynamics51:58 Loss and Grief58:50 Life Changes and Adaptation01:05:44 Navigating Digital Privacy and Parenting Challenges01:08:13 The Impact of Show Choir on Personal Growth01:09:52 Family Dynamics and Emotional Turmoil01:12:37 The Journey to Adoption and Finding a New Family01:15:30 Pursuing Education and Career Aspirations01:18:00 The Role of Community in Healing and Support01:20:38 The Importance of Empathy and Connection in RecoverySponsored by:🛡️ McKelvey Insurance🧠 LightSource Psychotherapy

Episode 37 – The Sisters Who Survived: From Pills to PurposeWho this episode is for:Anyone who’s ever been told to “get your shit together.”Those battling addiction or loving someone who is.The ones who grew up too fast, numbed out too young, or ran too far.And the rest of you who think you’ve heard every addiction story out there—this one will make you shut up and listen.Chapters00:00 Introduction to the Podcast and Guests03:07 The Journey of Addiction: Early Experiences06:00 The Impact of Environment on Substance Use09:04 Transitioning from Pills to Heroin12:06 Family Dynamics and Addiction15:09 The Role of Trauma in Addiction18:00 The Cycle of Addiction and Recovery20:58 The Struggles of Active Addiction24:03 The Reality of Treatment and Relapse26:59 The Influence of Relationships on Addiction29:56 Finding Hope and Recovery32:48 Reflections on the Journey35:59 Conclusion and Final Thoughts45:54 Transformative Journeys: Overcoming Addiction54:46 The Struggles of Withdrawal and Recovery01:06:20 Finding Balance: Life After Addiction01:18:27 The Power of Sharing Stories in RecoveryShow NotesChris, Jeff, and the newest chaos conductor Zoe open up Episode 37 with an East Coast energy injection from sisters Valeen and Tiffany — survivors, former addicts, and walking proof that even the wildest flames can cool into something fierce and steady.You might’ve seen them on Soft White Underbelly, but here they go deeper — Jersey grit, Texas dust, and all the dark in-between.From faking prescriptions in high school and running oxy scams with a 50-year-old printer lady to shooting meth in Texas kitchens and hiding dope from dogs (that literally snitched), these two don’t sugarcoat shit.They talk about how pills turned to heroin, how state-funded rehabs can feel like the Wild West, and how sisterhood can be both your downfall and your lifeline.They’ve buried friends, raised kids, lost everything, and somehow still found a way to laugh — the kind of laugh that only comes after years of crying in bathrooms.Tiffany admits she “flashed her tits and fought her sister” before getting sober; Valeen calls rehab her second home.They’re brutally honest about the switch from chaos to clarity — meth-fueled paranoia, vertigo that still haunts, and the terrifying truth that fentanyl has made ‘experimenting’ a death wish.By the time they reach the part about Kensington, Philly — the zombie apocalypse of America’s drug scene — you’ll understand why these women don’t do half measures anymore.Their new high is peace, gratitude, and laughing at their own scars.And yeah, they still drop F-bombs, still talk about Benadryl benders, still love hard. But now it’s with clear eyes.This episode is a raw love letter to resilience — two sisters who clawed their way out of hell and decided to tell the world what it really looks like when you stop running and start healing.Watch their original story on Soft White Underbelly to see how far they’ve come.Sponsored by:McKelvey Insurance – quick solutions to real-life insurance problems anywhere in Illinois or Missouri.Visit www.mckelveyins.comLightSource Psychotherapy – therapy that helps you find your light when everything else feels dark.Visit www.findyourlightsource.com

Pondoff's Anonymous - Episode 36 Show Notes Who this episode is for: Those in recovery, barely holding on, or trying to claw their way in People sober-curious but still actively using Families who’ve lost someone to addiction—or feel like they’re about to Anyone who’s been burned by a church and swore it off for good Spiritual seekers looking for something real, raw, and redemptive And anyone who’s ever thought, “There’s gotta be more to life than this shit” Episode 36 — Matt Miofsky: Building Church for the Fucked-Up and Searching This one’s not your average episode—it’s a blueprint for holy disruption. Pastor Matt Miofsky of The Gathering joins Pondoff and the crew to unpack a radical new venture: Gathering Underground, a Wednesday-night worship space and recovery community aimed straight at the hearts of people deep in addiction, doubt, grief, and the aftermath of church trauma.Matt and Chris don’t sugarcoat it. They talk real—about transformation, identity, spiritual skepticism, and the raw, bleeding edge where recovery meets faith. From humble beginnings with no carpet and a bunch of broken people, The Gathering is launching a new site at 2360 McCausland in St. Louis, smack next to the Walgreens where more than a few folks once did heroin in the parking lot. Now? It’s sacred ground. What you’ll hear: The difference between churches built on fear vs. ones grounded in love Why recovery is more than just sobriety—it’s purpose, calling, and rebirth How to claim an identity (like “pastor” or “addict”) when your soul isn’t ready Stories of relapse, reckoning, baptisms in rehab, and the holy power of a smoke break The gritty launch of a Jesus-centered recovery night for addicts, alcoholics, loved ones, codependents, trauma survivors, and anyone who can’t quite keep their shit together Gathering Underground isn’t trying to be another Sunday morning—this is midweek medicine for the walking wounded. Whether you’re detoxing, dragging kids with you, or just there for the coffee and conversation, this community is for you. No guilt. No shame. Just people who get it. Location: Wednesdays @ 6 PM The Gathering McCausland – 2360 McCausland Ave, St. Louis, MO Accessible by two major bus stops Free pizza, smoke breaks encouraged Narcan on site Childcare provided Music won’t be your grandma’s hymns Follow The Gathering on Instagram: @gatheringnowLearn more or get involved: https://gatheringnow.org CHAPTERS: 00:00 Introduction to Pondoff's Anonymous and Sponsors 02:55 Growth and Expansion of the Church 06:47 The Role of Community in Recovery 11:20 Transformation Through Recovery 17:53 Creating an Inclusive Space for Recovery 22:35 The Gathering Underground Recovery Community 25:49 Addressing Past Church Experiences 30:02 The Importance of Love Over Fear in Faith 36:55 The Journey from Fear to Love 39:17 Building a Community for Recovery 44:57 Transformation and Community Engagement 51:09 Creating Safe Spaces for Loved Ones 54:41 Healing for Families Affected by Addiction 01:00:04 Curating an Inclusive Recovery Environment 01:06:22 Understanding and Identity in Recovery 01:11:00 The Role of Personal Stories in Recovery Sponsored by: McKelvey Insurance – Real humans solving real-life insurance bullshit. Personal or commercial, they’ve got you covered without the runaround. Visit https://www.mckelveyins.com or call/text 618-623-0080.LightSource Psychotherapy – Individual, group, and family therapy that doesn’t suck. Based in Belleville, IL and run by people who actually get it. Visit https://findyourlightsource.com to learn more.

Pondoff’s Anonymous — S2 E35 — Scott Spiezio body{font-family:system-ui,-apple-system,Segoe UI,Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif;line-height:1.6;margin:24px;color:#0f172a;background:#fff} h1,h2,h3{line-height:1.25;margin:0 0 .6rem} h1{font-size:1.8rem} h2{font-size:1.25rem;margin-top:1.25rem} h3{font-size:1.1rem;margin-top:1rem} .section{margin-bottom:1.25rem;padding-bottom:.75rem;border-bottom:1px solid #e5e7eb} ul{margin:.5rem 0 .25rem 1.25rem} .mono{font-family:ui-monospace,SFMono-Regular,Menlo,Monaco,Consolas,"Liberation Mono","Courier New",monospace} S2 E35 — “Scott Spiezio: World Series Rings, Red Soul Patch, and Recovery” Who this episode is for: Those battling addiction or depression. Anyone who’s been crushed by success, fame, or the weight of their own expectations. The baseball die-hards who remember that red soul patch and the 2006 World Series run. Parents and families trying to understand addiction in someone they love. Anyone who’s ever thought they were “too far gone.” And honestly — anyone who’s ever made a mess of their life and had to start over. Description Former MLB star and two-time World Series champion Scott Spiezio sits down with Chris Pondoff and Jeff Allen for one of the rawest conversations yet. From standing on top of the baseball world with the Angels and Cardinals to hiding vodka in the clubhouse and doing lines before games, Spiezio opens up about addiction, ego, family, and finding redemption. This one’s a ride — full of truth bombs, laughter, and brutal honesty. No filters, no PR polish, just real talk from a man who’s lived both sides of the dream. Timestamps 00:00 Introduction and Sponsorships 02:59 Meet Scott Spiezio: Music and Baseball Background 09:20 Musical Influences and Family Connections 12:02 Family Dynamics and Personal Interests 16:07 Early Signs of Athletic Talent 19:00 The Journey to Major League Baseball 23:04 Mental Preparation and Visualization Techniques 25:59 Reflections on Retirement and Addiction 30:07 Navigating Recovery and Personal Growth 32:10 Defying the Odds: From Sports to Music 39:07 Injury and Mental Health: The Turning Point 45:55 The Descent into Alcoholism 55:56 The Highs and Lows of Fame 01:01:52 The Crossroads: Relationships and Addiction 01:03:41 The Weight of Fame and Addiction 01:05:10 The Struggle with Substance Abuse 01:07:55 Living on the Edge: The Highs and Lows 01:10:25 Facing Consequences: The Overdose Incident 01:12:33 Reconnecting with Family 01:18:10 Understanding Addiction: Family Dynamics 01:21:26 The Downward Spiral: A Series of Events 01:30:46 Seeking Help: The Road to Recovery 01:35:08 Struggles with Addiction and Recovery 01:40:11 The Role of Faith in Recovery 01:45:13 Miracles and Transformation 01:52:51 Sharing Stories and Inspiring Others Social Links & Resources Scott Spiezio — Former MLB Player, 2x World Series Champion, Recovery Advocate Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/scott_spiezio/ X (Twitter): https://x.com/scott_spiezio Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/p/Scott-Spiezio-Its-Never-Too-Late-100065641682903/ MLB Feature: https://www.mlb.com/news/scott-spiezio-ed-spiezio-share-addiction-journey Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scott_Spiezio Sponsors & Links McKelvey Insurance — Website: https://www.mckelveyins.com/ — Call or text: 618-623-0080 LightSource Psychotherapy — Website: https://findyourlightsource.com/ Sponsored by McKelvey Insurance (https://www.mckelveyins.com/) and LightSource Psychotherapy (https://findyourlightsource.com/).

Episode 34 – Pondoff's Anonymous Who this episode is for: Anyone deep in the bottle and lying to themselves The “functioning” alcoholics hiding bottles in the garage Friends or family watching someone drink themselves to death People in recovery who still white-knuckle their way through a gas station Anyone who’s ever told themselves “I’ve got it under control” People who don’t think they have a drinking problem—but maybe do 🎙️ Episode 34 – Breathalyzers, 99 Bananas, and One Man’s Relentless Fight to Stay Sober Sean Keeley joins Chris and Jeff (Jakob’s out for a month—he’s off getting married, congrats you beautiful bastard) to drop a quiet bomb of a story—the kind that doesn’t come with sirens and flashing lights, just slow, silent self-destruction. No DUIs. No arrests. No bar fights. Just airplane bottles hidden in gloveboxes, vodka disguised as water, and a growing sense of dread that everything was about to fall apart. Sean lays out how he went from managing people and showing up to work every day to drinking 15 mini bottles of 99 Bananas before checking into rehab. Twice. And when the second round didn’t stick, he didn’t quit. He built his own system. Breathalyzers at home and in the car. Daily accountability to his wife and coworkers. A plan with no wiggle room. This episode isn’t about hitting bottom. It’s about what happens when you’re about to and decide to turn the wheel. ⏱️ Episode Breakdown: 00:00 – Introduction and Sponsorships McKelvey Insurance (https://www.mckelveyins.com/) and LightSource Psychotherapy (https://findyourlightsource.com/) 02:25 – Golfing Experiences and Personal Stories Cold brews, bad golf, hipster confessions, and rake-stepping laughs. 12:12 – Introducing Sean and His Unique Story Quiet alcoholism that didn’t look chaotic—until it was. 24:00 – The Journey to Acknowledging Alcoholism Sharpie bottle lines. Hidden Jameson. Growing denial. 26:24 – The Journey to Recovery Begins First stint in rehab. Detox. Relapse after 45 days. 30:30 – The Struggles of Sobriety The 99 Bananas episode. Hiding the drinking better. Medical red flags. 39:48 – Finding Accountability in Recovery Breathalyzers at home and work. No escape hatch. 46:49 – The Role of Medication in Sobriety From Trazodone to Naltrexone to nothing. 54:42 – Building a Support System Wife, coworkers, radical honesty—not AA this time. 55:15 – Facing the Consequences of Addiction Liver failure warnings. Watching others die from it. 01:01:14 – The Journey to Sobriety: Finding What Works No sponsors. Just systems. Brutal self-honesty. 01:10:04 – Building a New Life: Recovery and Personal Growth No meds. No excuses. Just better health and clearer living. 01:17:43 – Strength in Adversity: Overcoming Life's Challenges Christmas Eve becomes Sean’s sober date. One day at a time. 01:25:44 – The Ripple Effect: Inspiring Change in Others Sean starts giving back, pushing for change, helping others see the signs. ☕ Mentioned in This Episode: Wagon Coffee Roasters (Denver-based Recovery Café): https://wagoncoffeeroasters.com Il Bel Lago Italian Restaurant (Where Sean celebrated Year 1): https://www.bellagostl.com 🛡️ Sponsored by: McKelvey Insurance https://www.mckelveyins.com Quick solutions to real-life insurance bullsh*t. LightSource Psychotherapy https://findyourlightsource.com If you’re f*cked up mentally or emotionally—this is where you start digging out.

S2 E33 Taylor StreiffSponsors McKelvey Insurance LightSource PsychotherapyLinks Ben’s Friends St. Louis Taylor Streiff InstagramWho this episode is for Musicians who drink more than they practice Restaurant industry lifers trying to stay off the sauce Those battling anxiety, addiction, and the lies they told to cover both Family members supporting someone in recovery Anyone who's ever made a mess of their life and called it "normal"GuestTaylor Streiff — Musician, Former Heavyweight Boozer, and Proof That Recovery Can RockTaylor Streiff rolls into Pondoff's Anonymous with his whole damn soul. He's got restaurant war stories, musician grind tales, and a past soaked in UV Blue and regret. But this isn't your typical redemption arc—this one's got a jukebox, a jazz fest, and enough self-inflicted chaos to fill an HBO mini-series. From getting misdiagnosed and medicated as an anxious kid, to puking UV Blue into a blue toilet, to touring the country as a piano-playing savant, Taylor takes us through his decades-long detour into addiction and how he finally got clean enough to be present for the people he loves. If you've ever thrown up and said "never again" only to do it all again the next night, welcome to church.Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Pondoff's Anonymous and Sponsors 01:45 Meet Taylor Streiff: A Journey in Music and Recovery 06:03 The Impact of Family and Community in Recovery 08:58 Ego and the Struggles of Addiction 11:58 Musical Beginnings and Influences 17:52 The Spiritual Connection to Music 21:57 Navigating Introversion and Anxiety in Music and Life 23:20 Understanding Introversion and Extroversion 25:05 Navigating Anxiety and Misdiagnosis 27:48 High School Experiences and Social Dynamics 30:54 First Jobs and the Restaurant Industry 34:53 College Aspirations and Musical Journey 42:30 Rejection and Finding a Path 44:33 Freshman Year: Love, Loss, and Lessons 49:39 Confronting Loss and Addiction 52:40 The Illusion of Normalcy 56:14 The Struggles of a Touring Musician 01:01:11 The Turning Point: A Move to St. Louis 01:08:43 The COVID-19 Impact on Drinking Habits 01:13:16 The Journey Begins: From Bar Back to Bartender 01:15:06 Facing Personal Challenges: Family Health Crises 01:16:32 The Turning Point: Seeking Help and AA 01:18:37 Struggles with Sobriety: The Reality of Addiction 01:21:25 California Sober: A Controversial Approach 01:24:38 Vulnerability in Recovery: Honesty and Support 01:26:57 The Relapse Debate: Defining Terms and Experiences 01:29:25 Rehab Experience: A New Beginning 01:32:43 Life After Rehab: Embracing Authenticity 01:39:28 Navigating Sobriety in a Triggering Environment 01:40:42 The Power of Music in Recovery 01:43:44 Authenticity and Connection Through Art 01:44:58 The Journey of a Musician in Recovery 01:47:15 Balancing Work and Passion 01:51:01 The Significance of Recovery Tokens 01:53:31 Support Systems in Sobriety 01:56:48 The Role of Therapy in Recovery

Who this episode is for:Anyone who has loved an addict and didn’t know what to do. People drowning in codependency and calling it love. Addicts who swore they would never end up like their parents. Folks in recovery who still flinch at intimacy. And anyone not in recovery who keeps setting their life on fire and calling it growth.Kristin Casey shows up with zero filters. She is a recovering addict, former sex worker, author, and the ex-girlfriend of Joe Walsh from the Eagles. This is not a glamorized rock story. It is a brutally honest look at addiction, survival, and the messy miracle of healing.Chris and Jeff dig into modern drug dangers, the collapse of intimacy in addiction, sex work, sobriety, and spiritual growth that actually sticks. Kristin talks about stopping the running, coming back to herself, and why recovery is not just quitting. It is becoming someone new. There is heartbreak, heavy truth, raw honesty, and still a few laughs.Chapters 00:00 Introduction to the Conversation 01:54 The Impact of Addiction on Lives 04:52 Personal Stories of Struggle and Recovery 07:57 The Evolution of Substance Abuse 11:05 The Role of Environment in Addiction 14:02 The Dangers of Modern Drugs 17:10 The Journey Through Recovery 19:55 The Influence of Relationships on Addiction 23:11 The Challenges of Treatment 25:54 Reflections on Sobriety and Life After Addiction 38:31 A Fateful Meeting with Joe Walsh 42:52 Navigating Love and Heartbreak 46:05 The Descent into Addiction 51:13 The Impact of Substance Abuse 55:09 Understanding Addiction Through Literature 01:00:24 Healing Relationships and Personal Growth 01:05:40 The Journey of Forgiveness 01:10:00 Finding Purpose in Recovery 01:16:07 Finding a Second Chance 01:19:13 The Struggle for Sobriety 01:22:46 The Role of Spirituality in Recovery 01:25:27 Empowering Others Through Experience 01:29:43 Transitioning from Sex Work to Coaching 01:33:43 Navigating Vulnerability in Relationships 01:48:01 Supporting Women in RecoveryKristin Casey’s BooksExplore her work here: https://www.kristincasey.com/Titles include: Rock Monster: My Life with Joe Walsh and Casey Dancer: A Memoir About Dating, Stripping, and a Little Hot Yoga.HostsChris and JeffSponsored byIllinois Recovery CenterMcKelvey InsuranceLightSource Psychotherapy

Who this episode is for:Anyone who has OD’d and woke up to their dad’s eyes burning a hole through their soulAnyone still lying to themselves about being “good” while they’re dying insideThe hardened lifers who think recovery's just for weaklingsThose doing time (inside or outside the walls)Young people getting clean before they hit 30Anyone who’s ever made a mess of their life and thought, “Shit, this is just who I am now.”Tyrone Hill joins Chris, Jeff, and Jakob for a no-bullshit journey through the depths of addiction, prison cells, overdoses, and ultimately, redemption. This isn’t some after-school special. It’s raw, it’s real, and it might just rattle your soul.Tyrone is the Associate Director of Amare NFP, a badass recovery community organization (RCO) serving Madison and St. Clair Counties in Illinois. They don’t charge a damn thing. Peer-led, heart-forward.Check them out: https://amarenfp.orgHe shares his story of running the streets, doing 9 prison bids, and sleeping in hallways in Ferguson before surrendering to a new way of life. It took honesty. Humility. And his dad looking at him like he was already in a casket. Tyrone doesn’t sugarcoat shit. He lays out the difference between playing at recovery and actually living it.He and the boys also dig deep into:Why fentanyl makes old-school heroin look like Flintstone vitaminsWhat makes prison such a dangerous place for addictsThe difference between working a program and just showing upWhy the lifestyle is sometimes harder to give up than the drugsBuilding recovery from a 23-and-1 lockdownWhy 12-steps ain't just for old white dudesHow sponsors will break your balls (but save your life)If you’re in Madison or St. Clair County and need support:Visit: https://amarenfp.orgEmail: [email protected] TIMESTAMP BREAKDOWN:00:00 Introduction and Sponsorships02:17 Labor Day Reflections and Upcoming Guests04:49 Introducing Tyrone Hill and His Background07:02 The Mission of Amari and Recovery Support10:13 Tyrone’s Early Life and Influences14:56 Struggles with Addiction and Gang Involvement18:03 Turning Point: Getting Clean22:10 Family Dynamics and Accountability27:31 Reflections on Recovery and Relationships33:23 The Pain of Addiction and Overdose36:23 Life in Prison: Struggles and Realizations40:19 The Harsh Reality of Drug Use in Prison45:41 Finding Purpose: Recovery and Helping Others49:30 Defining Moments: The Impact of Family54:34 The Journey of Recovery: Understanding Relapse01:00:43 Honesty and Commitment in Recovery01:03:08 The Blank Page: Starting Fresh01:04:39 The Courage of Youth: Early Recovery01:06:39 The Power of Surrender: Asking for Help01:10:10 The Moment of Decision: When You’re Done01:11:47 Finding Peace: Life After Addiction01:16:17 Self-Discovery: Looking Inward01:18:06 Belonging: Embracing Your True Self01:19:12 Changing the Narrative: Working with Authorities01:22:25 Peer Support: The Importance of Lived Experience01:28:10 Community Celebration: Rockin’ for Recovery01:30:56 Reflections on Past Relationships and Growth01:34:57 The Journey of Reconnecting and Building a Family01:37:43 Understanding Addiction and Its Impact on Family01:40:21 Life After Addiction: Health and Recovery01:43:14 Creating Community and Support in Recovery01:46:56 Navigating Different Recovery Paths01:51:53 The Importance of Individualized Recovery Approaches01:55:35 Embracing Imperfection in Parenting and RecoverySponsored by:McKelvey InsuranceQuick solutions to real-life insurance problems in Illinois and Missouri. Personal or commercial—over 30 companies quoted, no bullshit.https://mckelveyins.comLight Source PsychotherapyTop-tier mental health therapy in Belleville, Illinois. Individual, group, family therapy, and supervision. Find your light.https://findyourlightsource.com