The ENM DNM

Adam and Leonie are back with another Dear ENM DNM, and this one is a big one.A listener wrote in. They're a queer guy dating two people, one of whom is immunocompromised. There's a long standing agreement about testing and barriers, and then along comes a new partner who says their GP reckons they don't need to test that often, and that our listener is just being overly anxious. Suddenly it isn't about sexual health anymore. It's about trust, autonomy, control, and whether your needs are allowed to be needs.We get into risk profiles and why nobody's is wrong, the difference between a boundary and a rule, why "your fear is illogical" is a rubbish thing to say to someone, GPs who don't understand non-monogamy, and the thing hinges forget most: that they are also a person in the polycule with wants of their own.There's also a work health and safety risk matrix, an extended metaphor about onion intolerance, another one about swimming pools, and a truly unreasonable number of times Leonie says the word tits. We wander. That's the show.Got something to add, or a situation of your own you'd like us to take on? Email us at [email protected] the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?Support the podcast hereYour support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.Come say hi: socialsWant to book a counselling session with Adam? HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners. [email protected] Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Adam and Leonie are back on their phones, scrolling through non-monogamy Reels and giving their honest (and sometimes very strong) opinions on what they find. It kicks off a proper chat about the difference between rules, agreements, boundaries, standards and expectations, and why mixing these words up causes so much confusion in ENM relationships. They also get into consent, the messy bits of communication, and what it actually means to choose a partner rather than need one.It's a chat that wanders (as always), but there's plenty of gold in there once you dig for it.Got a topic, theme or dilemma you want Adam and Leonie to get into? Send it through to [email protected] the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?Support the podcast hereYour support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.Come say hi: socialsWant to book a counselling session with Adam? HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners. [email protected] Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Adam and Leonie kick off by talking about Wet on Wellington, the gay sauna in Melbourne they've visited as a space to hang out, relax and chat with mates. But this episode quickly moves beyond one venue to a bigger conversation: what do event organisers actually owe the people who pay to come? They dig into consent, vetting, safeguarding and scaling, the gaps they've noticed in how sex-on-premises events are run, and why putting safety first isn't optional. If you're an organiser and you think they're chatting shit, they'd actually love to hear from you. Come tell them what it's really like, or help figure this out together. Drop a line at [email protected] the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?Support the podcast hereYour support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.Come say hi: socialsWant to book a counselling session with Adam? HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners. [email protected] Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this Kink Corner episode, Adam and Leonie sit down with Barefoot Juliette to talk all things Shibari, the Japanese rope art that's part performance, part intimacy practice, part mindfulness.Juliette walks us through her own origin story: from a lockdown squirting workshop to discovering rope, what it feels like to tie (versus being tied), and why Shibari became such a deep practice for her. We dig into the real risks, physical and emotional, what consent actually looks like in rope, how power sits in these dynamics (spoiler: not where you'd think), and why rope is for everybody, no matter your body, ability or experience.She's honest about the rope cowboys, the consent violations that happen, and what it takes to be a safe rigger or an empowered model. And she shares what draws people to come work with her: healing from trauma, building confidence, chasing that incredible intimacy, or just wanting to explore something new.If you've been curious about Shibari, wondered how to start safely, or just want to understand this practice through someone who genuinely loves it, this one's for you.Find Barefoot Juliette:Website: barefootjuliette.comInstagram: @barefoot_julietteShe offers one-on-one ties, couple sessions, private tuition, performances and classes at Peer Rope Melbourne on Tuesday nights.Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?Support the podcast hereYour support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.Come say hi: socialsWant to book a counselling session with Adam? HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners. [email protected] Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Adam and Leonie are joined by Ari to attempt something brave, foolish and probably impossible: making sense of some of the terms people use in ENM and non-monogamy. From ENM, CNM and NM to relationship anarchy, monogamish, hierarchy and whatever relationship libertarianism is meant to be, they unpack the words, the assumptions behind them, and why definitions are rarely as simple as they sound.The conversation moves between actual glossary-style explanations and the messier reality of how these labels show up in dating, relationships, community and identity. They talk about ethics, consent, autonomy, ownership, “doing the work”, and why some terms can feel useful while others can feel confusing, loaded or a bit wanky.It’s a funny, honest and reflective episode about language, labels, strong opinions, and trying to describe the very human mess of non-monogamy without pretending anyone has the perfect definition.Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?Support the podcast hereYour support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.Come say hi: socialsWant to book a counselling session with Adam? HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners. [email protected] Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Adam and Leonie open up the Dear ENM DNM inbox after someone writes in about a very familiar ENM problem: the calendar. They talk through a situation involving nesting, shifting plans, rotating rosters, and what happens when “our time” keeps being moved in the name of flexibility.The conversation gets into quality time, resentment, autonomy, agreements, and the difference between being flexible and quietly feeling like you’re getting the leftovers. Adam and Leonie also talk about what it means to feel prioritised in ENM, why “this is just what non-monogamy looks like” can feel dismissive, and how hard it can be to have a proper conversation before resentment starts setting up camp.It’s a messy, honest and reflective episode about time, care, calendars, and trying to stay connected when everyone’s availability is doing the absolute most.Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?Support the podcast hereYour support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.Come say hi: socialsWant to book a counselling session with Adam? HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners. [email protected] Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Adam and Leonie move from canine chaos and accidental innuendo into a bigger conversation about dating, ghosting and what happens when connection does not quite land the way we hoped.After Leonie shares the emotional comedown of two promising connections going quiet, the conversation opens up around ghosting, mixed signals, therapy-speak, emotional responsibility and the difference between someone meaning something in the moment versus being able to follow through with care.They also unpack Olivia Dean’s Something in Between and use it as a jumping-off point to explore freedom, autonomy and what it means for love to have room to breathe within ENM. From there, Adam and Leonie dig into the relationship escalator, the pressure to make relationships “progress” in expected ways, and how non-monogamy can invite us to question what commitment, growth and legitimacy actually look like.It’s a funny, reflective and very honest episode about desire, disappointment, liberation and learning how to sit somewhere in between.Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?Support the podcast hereYour support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.Come say hi: socialsWant to book a counselling session with Adam? HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners. [email protected] Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Adam and Leonie turn the mic on themselves and unpack what it’s actually like to date them.From communication styles and emotional needs to attraction, boundaries and the little quirks that show up in relationships, they reflect on how they each move through dating in ENM. Along the way, they talk about what they value, what can be hard, and what partners might notice when getting close to them.It’s honest, playful and a little exposing — a conversation about self-awareness, compatibility and what dating can reveal about who we are.Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?Support the podcast hereYour support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.Come say hi: socialsWant to book a counselling session with Adam? HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners. [email protected] Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Leonie turns the mic on Adam.They talk about how he first found his way into ethical non-monogamy, what opening up a relationship actually looked like in practice, and how those early experiences shaped the way he understands connection, communication and intimacy now.The conversation also goes deeper into masculinity, body image, self-worth and the long shadow of feeling like your body is being seen before you are. Adam reflects on living with visible scars, how that impacted the way he moved through ENM spaces, and what it has meant to be desired, vulnerable and honest in relationships.This one is personal. It’s about the stories we carry, the ways we change, and what ENM can uncover when it pushes us to look more closely at ourselves.Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?Support the podcast hereYour support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.Come say hi: socialsWant to book a counselling session with Adam? HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners. [email protected] Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we try something a little different.Adam brings in a social media clip of Ne-Yo talking about polyamory, and Leonie reacts to it in real time, with no prep, no pre-planning, and no idea where the conversation is about to go.What starts as a playful raw reaction quickly turns into something much bigger: a conversation about ownership, exclusivity, control, gender, power, and the uneasy line between what gets called polyamory and what might actually be something else.As the clip unfolds, we unpack what it brings up for us through an ENM lens, including the difference between consent and ethics, the responsibility that comes with public conversations about non-monogamy, and how quickly language can shape the way people understand a relationship dynamic.This episode is about Ne-Yo, reaction, projection, and the messy questions that can emerge when a public take on polyamory collides with the lived values of ENM.Along the way, we also talk about parties, overstimulation, social anxiety, desire, and the ways discomfort can make us reach for control instead of curiosity.This episode is about Ne-Yo, reaction, projection, and the messy questions that can emerge when a public take on polyamory collides with the lived values of ENM.Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?Support the podcast hereYour support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.Come say hi: socialsWant to book a counselling session with Adam? HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners. [email protected] Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Ari returns to the podcast for a much deeper check-in.What starts as a catch-up quickly opens into a conversation about what has changed since the first episodes, what dating has looked like since then, and what it actually means to keep growing inside ethical non-monogamy rather than just talking about it.We explore the gap between theory and practice, the difference between knowing the language of ENM and actually living it, and the hard, often uncomfortable work of learning your patterns, your triggers, your limits, and your needs.Along the way, we talk about dating apps, community, self-awareness, co-regulation, grief, emotional honesty, and the question of what happens when you stop trying to be who you think ENM should make you and start paying closer attention to who you actually are.This is also a conversation about accountability: owning the parts of ourselves that do not always show up well, reflecting on relationships that have ended, and recognising that growth is not just about understanding other people, but about understanding the impact we have too.This episode is about dating, self-knowledge, emotional regulation, and the ongoing work of becoming more honest with yourself and others inside non-monogamy.Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?Support the podcast hereYour support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.Come say hi: socialsWant to book a counselling session with Adam? HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners. [email protected] Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we take on one of the most loaded and misunderstood topics in ethical non-monogamy: hierarchy.Rather than treating hierarchy as something simple or automatically bad, we sit with the messier reality of what it actually means in practice, who benefits from it, and why people so often struggle to name it honestly.We explore the difference between equality and equity, the role of privilege and access in relationships, and the tension between what people wish they could offer and what they can realistically offer.Along the way, we talk about primary partners, power, fairness, expectations, and the problems that can emerge when hierarchy is either denied, hidden, or softened with language that avoids the truth.This is not an episode about easy answers or rigid rules. It is a conversation about honesty, structure, and the importance of being clear about what kind of relationship you are actually building.This episode is about hierarchy, privilege, relational reality, and the difficult but necessary work of naming things as they really are.Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?Support the podcast hereYour support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.Come say hi: socialsWant to book a counselling session with Adam? HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners. [email protected] Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we step into one of the more complicated spaces sitting alongside ethical non-monogamy.We’re joined by Genevieve, founder of Skirt Club, to talk about what the community is, who it is for, and why so many women find themselves drawn to it while still not always seeing it as non-monogamy.From there, the conversation opens out into something much bigger: bisexuality, curiosity, marriage, secrecy, permission, exclusivity, and the blurred line between sexual exploration and relationship structure.We talk about the women who come to these spaces, what they are often looking for, and why experiences with other women can be understood very differently from other forms of non-monogamy, even when the overlap is clearly there.We also get into the harder questions around safety, consent, trauma, inclusion, and the tension that can exist when a space is trying to hold multiple realities at once.This episode is about women-only spaces, sexual identity, community, and the messy grey areas that appear when desire, liberation, and ENM don’t fit neatly into the same box.Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?Support the podcast hereYour support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.Come say hi: socialsWant to book a counselling session with Adam? HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners. [email protected] Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we do something a little different.We listen to Lily Allen’s West End Girl track by track and react to it in real time, using our own experiences in ethical non-monogamy as the lens for the conversation.As the album unfolds, so does a bigger discussion about heartbreak, agreements, jealousy, attachment, communication, and the messy space between what people say they want and what actually happens in practice.Rather than trying to give definitive answers, we let the songs lead us. Some moments are funny, some are uncomfortable, and some hit surprisingly hard.What follows is a raw conversation about love, betrayal, power, desire, and the difficult questions that can sit underneath non-monogamous relationships when things stop feeling clear.This episode is part album reaction, part relationship analysis, and part honest reflection on what can happen when intimacy, hurt, and uncertainty all collide.Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?Support the podcast hereYour support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.Come say hi: socialsWant to book a counselling session with Adam? HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners. [email protected] Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In Part 2 of Leonie’s story, the conversation moves from background into becoming.We explore what happened after the rules started to loosen: the slow unfurling of sexuality, the complexity of identity, and the often messy gap between what non-monogamy is supposed to look like and what it actually feels like to live it.Leonie speaks openly about moving from a conservative faith background into a much broader world of intimacy, queerness, friendship and connection.We talk about the difference between attraction and compatibility, the challenge of unlearning old conditioning, the reality of dating in ENM spaces, and how non-monogamy can open up not just relationships, but entirely new ways of understanding yourself.This episode is about fluidity, directness, friendship, desire, and the ongoing process of working out what connection really means when you no longer fit inside the old rules. Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?Support the podcast hereYour support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.Come say hi: socialsWant to book a counselling session with Adam? HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners. [email protected] Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

From Conservative Faith to Non-Monogamy: Leonie’s Story Part 1In Part 1 of Leonie’s story, we go right back to the beginning. Leonie reflects on her childhood, her deep sense of spirituality, and the role conservative faith played in shaping how she saw herself, community, belonging and the world around her.Together, we unpack the difference between genuine spiritual connection and organised religion, the comfort and healing that faith can offer, and the ways control, conformity and social expectations can quietly shape a person’s life. Leonie speaks openly about what it was like to move through rigid religious spaces, the pressure to be “good”, and the turning points that led her to question the path she had been given.This episode is a conversation about spirituality, identity, community, freedom, and what happens when you begin stepping off the track that was laid out for you.Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making more gorgeous chaos?you can support the podcast with a one-off or ongoing donation here: Ko-fi.comYour support helps us make the podcast and also contributes to our broader mission of funding free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise be able to access it.Come say hi or follow along:InstagramTiktokEmail us!Want to book a counselling session with Adam?Get in touch here: HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from potential collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners.Please note: this podcast is for conversation, reflection and shared experience. It is not a replacement for therapy, medical advice or crisis support.Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?Support the podcast hereYour support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.Come say hi: socialsWant to book a counselling session with Adam? HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners. [email protected] Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s been a while, but WE ARE BACK!!The ENM DNM looks a little different now. It’s just the two of us, Adam and Leonie, which brings a new format, a new energy, and a bit more space to let the conversation go where it naturally wants to.In this episode, we reintroduce ourselves, reflect on what’s changed since the last run of episodes, and talk about what this next chapter of the podcast is going to look like.We unpack why we’re doing this, what kind of conversations we want to have, and why this podcast has never been about pretending to be experts or handing out gold stars for “doing ENM right”.From here on, this podcast is about honest conversations, lived experience, the messy bits, the funny bits, and creating a space where people can feel a little more seen in the realities of non-monogamy.Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making more gorgeous chaos?ou can support the podcast with a one-off or ongoing donation here: Ko-fi.comYour support helps us make the podcast and also contributes to our broader mission of funding free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise be able to access it.Come say hi or follow along:InstagramTiktokEmail us!Want to book a counselling session with Adam?Get in touch here: HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from potential collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners.Please note: this podcast is for conversation, reflection and shared experience. It is not a replacement for therapy, medical advice or crisis support.Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?Support the podcast hereYour support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.Come say hi: socialsWant to book a counselling session with Adam? HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners. [email protected] Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 6: The Good, The Bad, and The Fugly From cute friend dates to chaotic sex parties, we’re ending Season 1 with our wildest, weirdest, and most heartfelt dating stories. In this final episode of the season, we swap stories from the frontlines of dating while ethically non-monogamous — the good, the bad, and the downright fugly. We reflect on what counts as a date in ENM, how online dating compares to meeting people in community, and the beautiful chaos of navigating sex parties, group dynamics, and slow-burn connections. There’s vulnerability, laughter, and a lot of honest talk about what it’s really like to date, connect, and grow while living non-monogamously. What We Talk About:Dating while polyamorous and ethically non-monogamousWhy some of the best dates are platonicOnline dating red flags and bios that make us swipe awayFirst-time sex party nerves (and snacks)The pressure (or not) at ENM social eventsHow community-based connections feel safer and more authenticOne piece of advice we’d give to anyone starting out in ENMMentioned in This Episode:ko-fi.com/enmdnm – Support the pod and help fund free therapy and support groupsThe E&M DNM Discord – connect, learn, and share in a supportive space (access via Ko-Fi)Love what you hear?Follow, review, and support the pod over on Ko-fi — every little bit helps us fund free and subsidised therapy and support groups for ENM folks.Join our Discord to connect with other non-monogamous, queer, and curious humans from all walks of life.And stay tuned — we’ll be back with Season 2 soon. Thanks for joining us in this honest conversation about ethical non-monogamy, queer identity, dating, friendship, and community. Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making more gorgeous chaos?ou can support the podcast with a one-off or ongoing donation here: Ko-fi.comYour support helps us make the podcast and also contributes to our broader mission of funding free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise be able to access it.Come say hi or follow along:InstagramTiktokEmail us!Want to book a counselling session with Adam?Get in touch here: HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from potential collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners.Please note: this podcast is for conversation, reflection and shared experience. It is not a replacement for therapy, medical advice or crisis support.Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?Support the podcast hereYour support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.Come say hi: socialsWant to book a counselling session with Adam? HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners. [email protected] Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 5: Communication and Boundaries What does “good communication” really mean in ethical non-monogamy — and how do you know if you’re setting a boundary or just trying to control someone? Intro Paragraph:In this episode of The ENM DNM, we unpack the layered, often messy world of communication and boundaries in ethical non-monogamy. We explore how mismatched expectations, emotional triggers, people-pleasing, and different processing styles impact our relationships. You’ll hear real-life stories of things gone right (and wrong), how we define “good communication,” and what happens when boundaries are unclear or unspoken. Whether you’re new to ENM or years into your journey, this conversation is packed with honesty, reflection, and insight into what it takes to build trust and connection in non-monogamous relationships.What We Talk About:How we define “good communication” in ENM relationshipsWhy listening is the most underrated communication skillEmotional regulation and learning your own processing styleWhat a boundary actually is (and what it’s not)When communication isn’t enough and a relationship endsCommon challenges like unmet expectations and miscommunication between partners and metamoursThe difference between boundaries, agreements, and rulesLearning from past relationships and becoming “version 2.0”Mentioned in This Episode:ko-fi.com/enmdnm – Support the pod and join our private communityPolysecure (book)The E&M DNM Discord – connect, learn, and share in a supportive space (accessible via the Ko-Fi link)TED Talk: “John Francis: Walk the earth ... my 17-year vow of silence | TEDMiriam Margolyes Meets The Sistergirls Of The Tiwi Islands | Miriam Margolyes: Almost AustralianLove what you hear?Follow The ENM DNM on your favourite podcast app and leave us a review — it really helps new listeners find us.Support the pod and our work in the community at ko-fi.com/enmdnmJoin our private Discord space to connect, share, and grow alongside others in the ENM community.Next episode, we’re talking about dating stories — the good, the bad, and the fugly.Thanks for joining us in this honest conversation about ethical non-monogamy, queer identity, communication, and community. Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making more gorgeous chaos?ou can support the podcast with a one-off or ongoing donation here: Ko-fi.comYour support helps us make the podcast and also contributes to our broader mission of funding free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise be able to access it.Come say hi or follow along:InstagramTiktokEmail us!Want to book a counselling session with Adam?Get in touch here: HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from potential collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners.Please note: this podcast is for conversation, reflection and shared experience. It is not a replacement for therapy, medical advice or crisis support.Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?Support the podcast hereYour support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.Come say hi: socialsWant to book a counselling session with Adam? HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners. [email protected] Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 4: Families, Friends, and the (Mono) WorldWorld What happens when you’re living ethically non-monogamous — but your friends, family, or workplace aren’t? In this episode, we unpack the messy, beautiful, and often awkward moments of coming out in a monogamous world. We talk about the choices we make around who to tell, how we tell them, and why some of us don’t tell anyone at all. From religious upbringings and conservative families to tricky friendship dynamics and professional boundaries, this episode dives into the real-life impact of being ENM in spaces that might not understand it. Whether you’re fully out, quietly navigating disclosure, or somewhere in between, this conversation holds space for it all — with vulnerability, reflection, and a little bit of sass. What We Talk About:Coming out as ethically non-monogamous to friends, family, and colleaguesNavigating disclosure in conservative or religious familiesBalancing identity, safety, and authenticity in the workplaceFriendship shifts, chosen family, and community supportHow queer identity, culture, and values shape ENM disclosureThe emotional labour of educating others about ethical non-monogamyMentioned in This Episode:ko-fi.com/enmdnm – Support the pod and join our private communityPolysecure (book)The E&M DNM Discord – connect, learn, and share in a supportive space (accessible via the Ko-Fi link)Love what you hear?Follow, rate, and review the podcast — it really helps more people find us.Support us and access our private Discord via Ko-fi.Next up: we're diving into dating stories — the good, the bad, and the fugly. Don’t miss it. Thanks for joining us in this honest conversation about ethical non-monogamy, queer identity, communication, and community.Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making more gorgeous chaos?ou can support the podcast with a one-off or ongoing donation here: Ko-fi.comYour support helps us make the podcast and also contributes to our broader mission of funding free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise be able to access it.Come say hi or follow along:InstagramTiktokEmail us!Want to book a counselling session with Adam?Get in touch here: HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from potential collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners.Please note: this podcast is for conversation, reflection and shared experience. It is not a replacement for therapy, medical advice or crisis support.Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?Support the podcast hereYour support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.Come say hi: socialsWant to book a counselling session with Adam? HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners. [email protected] Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 3: Intersectionality and ENMWhat happens when your queerness, culture, neurodivergence, and upbringing all collide with ethical non-monogamy? We’re talking about the beautiful mess that is intersectionality. In this episode, we explore how identity shapes the way we show up in ethical non-monogamy (ENM). From growing up in religious households or navigating white privilege to being queer, neurodivergent, or culturally “othered,” we get real about how our histories affect our desires, relationships, and sense of belonging in polyamorous and open relationship spaces. This is one for anyone who's ever wondered, "Am I doing this right?" or "Is it just me?" (Spoiler: it’s not.)What We Talk About:How race, culture, gender, and queerness influence our experiences in ENMThe impact of religious and conservative upbringings on identity and relationshipsShame, internalised norms, and how we begin to unlearn themThe role of gender identity and sexuality in open relationshipsNavigating ENM while feeling “not queer enough” or “too much”Relationship structures beyond the mainstreamFriendship, intimacy, and redefining what connection meansVulnerability, self-discovery, and making space for changeMentioned in This Episode:Ko-Fi.com/enmdnm – Support the pod and our communityThe Ethical Slut (book)Love what you hear? If this episode resonated with you, give us a follow, leave a review, or support the pod on Ko-fi.Want to keep the conversation going?Join our queer-friendly Discord community where we talk ENM, identity, support, and more.Next episode, we’re diving into communication and boundaries—how we define them, where we struggle, and what it means to communicate well in ENM.Thanks for joining us in this honest conversation about ethical non-monogamy, queer identity, communication, consent, and community.Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making more gorgeous chaos?ou can support the podcast with a one-off or ongoing donation here: Ko-fi.comYour support helps us make the podcast and also contributes to our broader mission of funding free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise be able to access it.Come say hi or follow along:InstagramTiktokEmail us!Want to book a counselling session with Adam?Get in touch here: HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from potential collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners.Please note: this podcast is for conversation, reflection and shared experience. It is not a replacement for therapy, medical advice or crisis support.Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?Support the podcast hereYour support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.Come say hi: socialsWant to book a counselling session with Adam? HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners. [email protected] Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 2: Initial Struggles with ENMStarting out in ethical non-monogamy can feel like learning to walk on a tightrope—in the dark, with no map. We’ve been there. What we talk about in this episode:In this episode, we get real about the messy, confusing, and sometimes magical first six months of navigating ethical non-monogamy (ENM). From awkward first dates and emotional overwhelm to finding community and unlearning monogamy norms, we share the stuff people don’t always talk about. Whether you’re newly polyamorous, deep in open relationships, or just curious about relationship structures outside the mainstream, this one’s for you. What We Talk About:Our first steps into ethical non-monogamy (ENM) and polyamoryWhere we looked for information, advice, and emotional supportEarly emotional challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and lonelinessThe cultural and queer identity layers that shaped our experiencesHow support groups, dating apps, and community events helped (or didn’t)Good advice, bad advice, and everything in betweenPersonal reflections, resilience, and learning to sit with discomfortWhat we wish we’d known when we were starting out in ENMMentioned in This Episode:ko-fi.com/enmdnmyarnn.auPoly Phelia InstagramShrimp Teeth Instagram The Ethical Slut (book)Love what you hear?If this episode resonated with you, give us a follow, leave a review, or support the pod on Ko-fi.Want to keep the conversation going? Join our queer-friendly Discord community where we talk ENM, dating, identity, and more.Next episode, we’re diving into intersectionality in ENM—how our race, gender, queerness, and lived experience shape the way we show up in relationships. Thanks for joining us in this honest conversation about ethical non-monogamy, queer identity, communication, community, and the very real struggles of starting out. Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making more gorgeous chaos?ou can support the podcast with a one-off or ongoing donation here: Ko-fi.comYour support helps us make the podcast and also contributes to our broader mission of funding free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise be able to access it.Come say hi or follow along:InstagramTiktokEmail us!Want to book a counselling session with Adam?Get in touch here: HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from potential collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners.Please note: this podcast is for conversation, reflection and shared experience. It is not a replacement for therapy, medical advice or crisis support.Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?Support the podcast hereYour support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.Come say hi: socialsWant to book a counselling session with Adam? HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners. [email protected] Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 1: Starting Out in ENMHow We Found Ethical Non-Monogamy and What It Means to Us Curious about how people actually get into ethical non-monogamy? In this very first episode of The ENM DNM, we sit down with our full crew – Adam, Leonie, Ed, Ari, and Jacqui – to share how we each found our way into ENM, polyamory, or something a little harder to define. From queerness and curiosity to dissatisfaction with monogamy, our journeys into non-traditional relationship structures are deeply personal, sometimes hilarious, and always real. We unpack the words that have shaped us – like polyamory, relationship anarchy, and ethical non-monogamy – and how labels can be both empowering and frustrating. Whether you're still figuring out what label (if any) fits you, or you're happily dancing outside the boxes, this one’s for you.What we talk about in this episode:How we each came to non-monogamy, and whyWhy labels like polyamory, ENM, and RA can be useful… or notWhat communication, consent, and boundaries look like in real lifeEarly challenges and moments of growthHow queer identity, community, and self-discovery intersect in our relationshipsMentioned in this episode:ko-fi.com/enmdnm – Support the pod and help us keep going 💛yarnn.auhausofdizzy.comkinyalerrk.com.auclothingthegaps.com.auDecolonise Yourself Card Game by Aretha BrownLove what you hear?Join our community on Discord (coming soon!)Support us on Ko-FiSubscribe or follow wherever you get your podcastsShare this episode with your polycule, your curious mates, or your queer book clubNext episode: Navigating The Early Days of ENM– we’re diving into the messy first six months of non-monogamy and how we survived them.Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making more gorgeous chaos?ou can support the podcast with a one-off or ongoing donation here: Ko-fi.comYour support helps us make the podcast and also contributes to our broader mission of funding free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise be able to access it.Come say hi or follow along:InstagramTiktokEmail us!Want to book a counselling session with Adam?Get in touch here: HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from potential collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners.Please note: this podcast is for conversation, reflection and shared experience. It is not a replacement for therapy, medical advice or crisis support.Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?Support the podcast hereYour support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.Come say hi: socialsWant to book a counselling session with Adam? HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners. [email protected] Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to The ENM DNM Hey friends! This is a quick intro to The ENM DNM – a podcast where we have deep and meaningful conversations about ethical non-monogamy.I’m Adam (he/him), a counsellor, youth worker, and community member, and this podcast is just people sharing their real experiences of ENM.No advice, no preaching—just honest chats.If you like what you hear and want to support the pod (and help me offer free or discounted therapy to those who need it), you can join the Discord by chucking in a few dollars on Ko-fi. It really helps. Thanks for being here. Let’s get into it.Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making more gorgeous chaos?ou can support the podcast with a one-off or ongoing donation here: Ko-fi.comYour support helps us make the podcast and also contributes to our broader mission of funding free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise be able to access it.Come say hi or follow along:InstagramTiktokEmail us!Want to book a counselling session with Adam?Get in touch here: HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from potential collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners.Please note: this podcast is for conversation, reflection and shared experience. It is not a replacement for therapy, medical advice or crisis support.Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?Support the podcast hereYour support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.Come say hi: socialsWant to book a counselling session with Adam? HalaxyWe’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners. [email protected] Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.