PODCAST · society
The Estranged Heart
by Kreed Revere
Support and community for navigating the emotional storms of parent and adult child estrangement and repairing and transforming relationships with one another in healthy and productive ways.
Episodes
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EP278: A Different View (part II)
In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed discusses how some family beliefs feel like common sense until a relationship asks us to examine them. She reflects on inherited expectations around questioning, loyalty, independence, and the place we learn to occupy in a family. In this...
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EP277: A Microphone, Some Nerves & Me (more five year reflections)
In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast and the conclusion of its fifth year of production, Kreed takes a look at the ordinary, sometimes awkward experience of making the podcast. Behind all of it is a person making the work in a life that isn't polished. This anniversary reflection leaves...
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EP276: The Daughter In The Room (5 year reflection)
Being a mother didn't erase what Kreed knew about being a daughter. In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, she explores how her experience as an estranged and reconciled adult daughter shapes the way she listens to parents. This episode considers the history that follows a relationship...
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EP275: A Different View (anniversary reflections, part I)
As The Estranged Heart podcast wraps up its fifth year, Kreed begins a month of personal reflections with a question: What happens when we understand the same years of our lives differently? In this episode, Kreed explores how her interpretation of her own family experience has changed, including...
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EP274: Why Your Apology Isn't Landing
In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed discusses why an adult child may hear a sincere apology and still struggle to believe it. She explores why an apology isn’t a transaction, why revisiting an old hurt doesn’t necessarily mean your adult child is trying to punish you, and why...
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EP273: Same Words, Different Dictionaries
In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores how differences in language and definitions can hinder understanding in parent-adult child relationships. She emphasizes the importance of curiosity and exploring underlying experiences rather than getting stuck on labels and...
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EP272: Don't Look At Me Like That!
In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores what happens when a seemingly small interaction between a parent and adult child suddenly carries the emotional weight of decades. Using a recent interaction with her own mother as a starting point, Kreed examines why adult children…
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EP271: Why Can't You Just Let It Go?
In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores one of the most common and often most painful questions in complicated family relationships: Why can't you just let it go? After a recent conversation about the decades-long history between Kreed and her sibling Kreed examines why...
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EP270: The Grace We Give
In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed shares a deeply moving letter originally published by Dr. Joshua Coleman, written by an estranged mother reflecting on her relationship with the mother who abandoned her and the daughter from whom she is now estranged. At the heart of the…
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EP269: Shame - gasoline, not water
In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores the dynamics of shame in parent-child relationships, highlighting how shame can hinder genuine understanding and repair. This episode offers insights into recognizing shame-based communication and fostering healthier interactions....
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EP268: What TikTok Taught Me
In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores the complexities of family estrangement, social media's impact on understanding human relationships, and the importance of emotional maturity in reconciliation. Key Topics The impact of social media on perceptions of estrangement The...
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EP267: Invisible
In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores the impact of emotional neglect and the importance of curiosity in healing family estrangement. This episode highlights how patterns of disconnection are passed down and how parents and adult children can foster understanding through...
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EP266: Did They Really Know?
In this episode of The Estranged Heart, Kreed walks through why "knowing better" quietly conflates two different things: awareness that something was missing and access to a practiced alternative and why that gap matters more than intent does. "You knew better. You just didn't do better." It's…
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EP265: One Relationship. Two Experiences.
In this episode of The Estranged Heart Podcast, Kreed explores one of the most painful and perplexing questions estranged parents ask: How can my adult child remember our relationship so differently than I do? She introduces a perspective - that there was never just one relationship. There were...
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EP264: Hard Truths Require Soft Landings
In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed discusses the difference between measuring a moment and measuring a pattern, why safety and comfort aren't the same thing, what repair actually sounds like, and Kreed's answer to the parents who ask if any of this just amounts to walking on...
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EP263: Fitting In vs Belonging in Families
In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores Brené Brown's distinction between fitting in and belonging and how it may help parents understand one of the most painful disconnects in family estrangement. What if the closeness you remember with your adult child was real and your...
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EP262: The Right Words
In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores the emotional dynamics behind parental responses to their adult children's expressions of hurt, focusing on trauma responses, emotional safety, and healing practices. Key Topics Trauma responses in parents and children The importance…
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EP261: What Holds Families Together Now?
In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores how the digital age has transformed family dynamics, shifting the role of information and connection. She discusses the impact of technology on relationships, the changing ecology of family, and how to foster deeper, more meaningful...
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EP260: Pain - Where Does It Go?
In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores the profound emotional and physical impact of estrangement between parents and adult children. She discusses the biological basis of attachment, the importance of proper pain management, and pathways toward healing and reconciliation....
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EP259: How Power Kills Empathy
In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores the impact of power on empathy within hierarchical relationships like families and workplaces. She emphasizes the importance of tenderness and perspective-taking for healing and reconciliation. Key Topics The impact of power on…
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EP258: Beneath The Control - the fear-driven parent
In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed shares a personal and professional exploration of controlling parenting rooted in fear, its impact on estranged relationships, and pathways to healing by understanding underlying fears. Key Topics - Fear as the root of controlling behavior…
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EP257: Reconciliation Grief
In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed shares a personal and professional exploration of grief in reconciliation, emphasizing the invisible and complex nature of grief beyond death, especially in estrangement. The episode offers insights into managing hidden grief, the realities of...
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EP256: Labels - "Intimate Terrorist": What Labels Do to Families Already Breaking
In this episode of The Estranged Heart, Kreed explores the harmful use of the term 'intimate terrorist' in family estrangement contexts, emphasizing the importance of nuanced understanding and curiosity over labels that deepen divides. Key Topics The impact of language in family estrangement The...
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EP255: Who's Holding Your Pain?
In this episode of The Estranged Heart, host Kreed Summary explores the complex emotional landscape of estranged parents, emphasizing the importance of nuanced support and understanding. It challenges simplistic narratives and advocates for compassion, curiosity, and the recognition of complexity...
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EP254: Self of Mother (Mother's Day)
In this deeply reflective Mother’s Day episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores motherhood not simply as a role, but as an evolving identity - one that changes across the lifespan in ways many women are never emotionally prepared for. From the intensity of early caregiving to the...
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EP253: Grieving Lost Potential (for estranged parents)
Estranged parents carry a grief that doesn't fit any of the containers we have for it. It's not the grief of death. It doesn't come with rituals or recognition. And much of the world around them doesn't know how to hold it or quietly questions whether they have a right to it at all. In this…
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EP252: Grieving Lost Potential (for estranged adult children)
There is a sentence that follows estranged adult children like a slow-moving storm - especially when a parent is aging, ill, or has died: You're going to regret this. It sounds like concern. It lands like a verdict. In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed unpacks the critical...
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EP251: Rethinking Tough Love
In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores the impact of tough love parenting, its roots in cultural beliefs, and its effects on attachment and estrangement. She advocates for a presence-based approach that fosters genuine connection and healing. Key Topics The origins of…
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EP250: It's a THEM Problem, Not a ME Problem!
In this episode of The Estranged Heart, Kreed explores the complex emotional landscape of parental estrangement, focusing on the psychological impact of the phrase 'it's a them problem, not a me problem.' The episode offers insights into armor formation, the costs of defensiveness, and pathways...
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EP249: Is Culture To Blame?
In this episode of The Estranged Heart Podcast, Kreed discusses the dangerous oversimplification of family estrangement as solely caused by cultural programming, emphasizing the importance of understanding individual experiences and fostering genuine curiosity to heal relationships. Key Topics -...
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EP248: Worry Feels Productive. It Isn't.
In this episode of The Estranged Heart, Kreed explores the emotional and physiological impacts of rumination and fear in the context of estrangement, offering practical insights on how to recognize, understand, and gently shift these patterns to foster healing. Key Topics Rumination vs Reflection...
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EP247: The Wave Has Parts - sadness in estrangement
Most estranged mothers are moving through their pain as one undifferentiated wave of awful - with no map, no language, and no way to name what's actually inside it. In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed breaks the wave apart. She walks through nine distinct layers that live inside...
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EP246: Is It Really A Double Standard?
Show Notes When a therapist posted about the "engagement asymmetry" in estrangement content - noting that posts about what parents did wrong go viral while content about adult children's responsibility goes quiet - it sparked a conversation worth having carefully. In this episode of The Estranged...
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EP245: What Estrangement & Easter Have In Common - a non-religious Easter message
In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores the meaning of resurrection in the context of estrangement, this episode offers profound insights on transformation, healing, and the power of inner change beyond reconciliation. Key Topics - Difference between restoration and...
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EP244: Her Story, Her Words, Her Healing - Part 3B
In this episode of The Estranged Heart, the final installment of a four-part series, Kreed concludes 5her discussion with an estranged adult daughter. Jen shares her profound journey through estrangement and healing. Discover how she navigated complex family dynamics, set boundaries, and found...
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EP243: (The Bridge) Her Story, Her Words, Her Healing - part 3A
Content note: This episode contains discussions of sexual assault, suicide, pregnancy loss, and emotional neglect. Please take care of yourself first. This bridge episode of The Estranged Heart exists to correct an editorial error. Portions of Jen's story that were edited out of earlier episodes...
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EP242: Her Story, Her Words, Her Healing - part II of III
In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed interviews an estranged adult child. This interview (part two of a three part series) explores the journey of healing from family estrangement, the impact of childhood trauma, and the transformative power of self-awareness and intentional...
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EP241: Her Story, Her Words, Her Healing - part I of III
On this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed interviews an estranged adult daughter. This interview explores the journey of healing from family estrangement, the impact of childhood trauma, and the transformative power of self-awareness and intentional parenting. The guest shares…
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EP240: Dignity, Distance & the Myth of the Perfect Return
In this conversation on The Estranged Heart, Kreed explores the complex dynamics of estrangement and reconciliation between parents and their adult children. She emphasizes the importance of self-respect and emotional growth for parents who often find themselves in a cycle of chasing their...
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EP239: Obedience As Safety
In this Sacred Sunday reflection of The Estranged Heart, Kreed explores how many of us learned early that obedience meant safety. Kreed gently examines the difference between obedience and integrity, and how the nervous system can equate assertion with danger. If you struggle to identify your own...
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EP238: Oprah, Estrangement, and the Questions No One Asked
When Oprah Winfrey released her podcast episode “When Families Cut Ties” on Thanksgiving, it ignited intense reactions across estranged parents, estranged adult children, therapists, and social media communities. Some felt validated. Others felt blamed, minimized, or misunderstood. In this…
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EP237: When Certainty Stops Working
In this Sacred Sunday conversation of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores the subtle yet profound experience of disorientation that arises when previously held beliefs and certainties begin to feel inadequate. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing this transition as a natural part…
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EP236: I Did Nothing Wrong
In this episode of The Estranged Heart, Kreed explores one of the most common and most misunderstood narratives in parent–adult child estrangement: blaming an in-law. When a parent says, “My child was always close to me until they married,” it often reflects not denial or malice, but a nervous...
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EP234: Part II - Estrangement Is Trauma for Parents
In this episode of the Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed delves into the complex emotional landscape of estrangement, particularly focusing on the trauma experienced by parents, especially mothers. The conversation explores how estrangement can trigger old wounds and feelings of confusion, panic…
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EP233: Estrangement Is Trauma For Parents
In this episode of The Estranged Heart, Kreed addresses what the estrangement conversation has been avoiding: the traumatic impact of estrangement on parents at a nervous system level. This isn't about excusing harm or pressuring reconciliation. It's about understanding why telling parents to…
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EP232: When Obedience Felt Like Love
In this Heart Scripture episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed examines the profound connection between obedience and love, exploring how compliance often served as a survival strategy in childhood and the complex grief that emerges when we begin to question whether love should have…
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EP231: When Pain Needs Care Not A Villian
In this powerful episode, of The Estranged Heart podcast, marking the 10-year anniversary of her own estrangement, Kreed explores why parents' feelings deserve care, but cannot be resolved by rewriting their adult children as villains. Drawing from her unique perspective as both a former…
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EP230: When Certainty Once Kept Us Safe and No Longer Does
In this inaugural episode of Heart Scriptures, Kreed offers profound compassion for those navigating the collapse of certainty - exploring the grief that emerges when the structures that once provided safety, meaning, and belonging begin to constrict rather than shelter us. This episode offers...
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EP229: Curiosity Is Respect & More
In this episode of The Estranged Heart, Kreed explores the profound impact of curiosity in relationships, particularly in the context of estrangement and reconciliation. She emphasizes that curiosity is not merely a communication skill but a fundamental respect for another's experience. Through...
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EP228: Myth of the Perfect Parent
In this episode of the Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed discusses the damaging myth that adult children expect perfection from their parents. She emphasizes that what they truly seek is behavioral change and accountability. The conversation explores the emotional complexities surrounding...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Support and community for navigating the emotional storms of parent and adult child estrangement and repairing and transforming relationships with one another in healthy and productive ways.
HOSTED BY
Kreed Revere
CATEGORIES
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does The Estranged Heart have?
The Estranged Heart currently has 281 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is The Estranged Heart about?
Support and community for navigating the emotional storms of parent and adult child estrangement and repairing and transforming relationships with one another in healthy and productive ways.
How often does The Estranged Heart release new episodes?
The Estranged Heart publishes regularly with 281 episodes available. Check the episode list for the typical release schedule.
Where can I listen to The Estranged Heart?
You can listen to The Estranged Heart on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts The Estranged Heart?
The Estranged Heart is created and hosted by Kreed Revere.
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