The Estranged Heart

In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed shares a deeply moving letter originally published by Dr. Joshua Coleman, written by an estranged mother reflecting on her relationship with the mother who abandoned her and the daughter from whom she is now estranged.At the heart of the letter is a question that reaches far beyond estrangement: Can we tell the full truth about how someone hurt us without reducing that person to the harm they caused?This episode explores the difference between understanding and excusing, and what it means to hold accountability, impact, context, boundaries, and humanity at the same time.Why understanding is not exoneration and context does not erase impactHow curiosity can help us see the person behind the behavior without denying our own lived experienceWhy someone else's suffering does not have to be required for our suffering to be legitimateThe difference between accountability and reducing another person to a verdictHow multiple truths can coexist: You hurt me. You had your own wounds. Both matter.The difficult question at the center of the episode: Am I asking for a kind of humanity that I am unwilling to extend to someone else?RESOURCES & SUPPORTFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores the dynamics of shame in parent-child relationships, highlighting how shame can hinder genuine understanding and repair. This episode offers insights into recognizing shame-based communication and fostering healthier interactions.TakeawaysShame is often unintentional and can be rooted in fear and terror.The shift from behavior-based feedback to character judgments triggers shame.Shame activates protection responses like defensiveness and withdrawal.Effective communication requires distinguishing between feedback and verdicts.RESOURCES & SUPPORTFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores the complexities of family estrangement, social media's impact on understanding human relationships, and the importance of emotional maturity in reconciliation.Key TopicsThe impact of social media on perceptions of estrangementThe importance of holding multiple human experiences simultaneouslyThe difference between understanding, validation, and endorsementThe danger of binary thinking in family conflictsThe need for nuanced conversations about pain and accountabilityStrategies for creating safety and capacity in difficult conversationsRESOURCES & SUPPORTFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores the impact of emotional neglect and the importance of curiosity in healing family estrangement. This episode highlights how patterns of disconnection are passed down and how parents and adult children can foster understanding through genuine curiosity.TakeawaysMost family patterns are stored in the nervous system, not consciously remembered.Relational patterns are often automatic, like balancing on a bike.Parents may parent from their inherited nervous system without awareness.Absence of curiosity creates a gap that affects future generations.RESOURCES & SUPPORTFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

In this episode of The Estranged Heart, Kreed walks through why "knowing better" quietly conflates two different things:  awareness that something was missing and access to a practiced alternative and why that gap matters more than intent does. "You knew better. You just didn't do better." It's one of the sharpest sentences an adult child can hand a parent and it sounds airtight. In this episode, Kreed takes it apart, along with a second claim making the rounds in parenting content: that some parents raise children out of obligation instead of desire.This one applies whether you're the parent trying to understand what you did or didn't have access to, or the adult child trying to understand why "and they loved me" and "and they harmed me" haven't felt like they could sit in the same sentence.Key Takeaways:"Knowing better" and "having access to better" are not the same thing. Harm doesn't require intent to be real, and it isn't the same claim as abuse. Regulation - not love, not intention - determines whether Both/And is possible. RESOURCES & SUPPORTFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

In this episode of The Estranged Heart Podcast, Kreed explores one of the most painful and perplexing questions estranged parents ask: How can my adult child remember our relationship so differently than I do? She introduces a perspective - that there was never just one relationship. There were always two: the relationship the parent experienced and the relationship the child experienced.Rather than asking whose memories are "right," Kreed invites listeners to consider a different question: What was it like to be my child inside the relationship I remember? Through a relational lens, she explains why parents often remember the relationship through their intentions, sacrifices, and responsibilities, while adult children remember it through their emotional experience, sense of safety, and whether they felt truly seen.This episode challenges the assumption that shared events create shared experiences and explores how curiosity - not certainty - can become the first step toward greater understanding and, when possible, reconciliation.In this episode, you will learn:Why parents and adult children often carry two very different experiences of the same relationship.The difference between remembering events and remembering emotional experiences.Why understanding another person's reality does not require abandoning your own.Takeaways1. There was never just one relationship. Parents and children often experience the same family through entirely different emotional realities. Both perspectives can be genuine without being identical.2. Intentions and experiences are different kinds of truth.A parent's loving intentions do not automatically determine how their child experienced the relationship. RESOURCES & SUPPORTFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.In this episode, you'll learn:Key Takeaways

In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed discusses the difference between measuring a moment and measuring a pattern, why safety and comfort aren't the same thing, what repair actually sounds like, and Kreed's answer to the parents who ask if any of this just amounts to walking on eggshells.A viral claim says adult children who won't tolerate "difficult conversations" are setting themselves up for a lonely life. Kreed pushes back on the premise and makes the case that the real question was never whether hard truths get said, but whether the relationship is strong enough to hold them.KEY TAKE AWAYSChallenge isn't the problem. Shame paired with challenge is. Most adult children aren't asking for relationships free of disagreement. They're asking that hard truths stop arriving bundled with contempt, dismissal, or a demand for compliance.Repair predicts outcomes more than conflict does. Two people can say the exact same hurtful thing. The one who gets curious about the impact instead of defending the intent is the one building a relationship that can survive being wrong.Safety and comfort are not the same word. Growth requires discomfort. It doesn't require unsafety. Confusing the two means fighting the wrong battle -  trying to convince someone that life is hard, instead of asking whether the relationship stays intact while they move through something hard together.RESOURCES & SUPPORTFacebook Support Group for Estranged Moms of Adult Children (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)

In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores Brené Brown's distinction between fitting in and belonging and how it may help parents understand one of the most painful disconnects in family estrangement. What if the closeness you remember with your adult child was real and your child was also adapting in ways you could not see?Kreed examines how adaptation can be mistaken for closeness, why sibling comparison tells us very little about an individual child's experience, and why adult children sometimes appear to change after therapy, marriage, parenthood, or exposure to a different family culture. For some adult children, what parents experience as distance may be the beginning of the child's effort to develop a stronger sense of self.The episode also explores why renewed contact does not automatically create belonging. During reconciliation, an adult child may still be determining whether they can remain connected without returning to the role they once occupied in the family. For parents, this creates a deeper question than whether their child has returned: Can the relationship make room for the person their child has become?Finally, Kreed turns the question of belonging toward mothers themselves. Many mothers learned to preserve relationships through sacrifice, accommodation, and self-abandonment. Understanding the difference between fitting in and belonging may require parents to examine not only the emotional culture they created for their children, but whether they have ever truly experienced belonging to themselves.Take AwaysAdaptation can look remarkably similar to closeness. Belonging becomes visible when a child stops fitting the familiar role. Reconciliation asks whether both parent and adult child can belong to themselves while remaining connected. RESOURCES & SUPPORTFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores the emotional dynamics behind parental responses to their adult children's expressions of hurt, focusing on trauma responses, emotional safety, and healing practices.Key TopicsTrauma responses in parents and childrenThe importance of emotional safety in repairThe role of curiosity over controlPatterns of defense: denial, deflection, dismissalThe impact of childhood home environment on adult reactionsThe process of genuine repair and healingRESOURCES & SUPPORTFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores how the digital age has transformed family dynamics, shifting the role of information and connection. She discusses the impact of technology on relationships, the changing ecology of family, and how to foster deeper, more meaningful bonds in a digital world.Key TopicsThe impact of technology on family communicationHow the environment has changed the role of familiesThe shift from practical needs to emotional safetyThe importance of curiosity in relationshipsReimagining family connection in a digital worldRESOURCES & SUPPORTFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores the profound emotional and physical impact of estrangement between parents and adult children. She discusses the biological basis of attachment, the importance of proper pain management, and pathways toward healing and reconciliation.TAKEAWAYS- Estrangement causes a unique form of grief.- Reaching out to an estranged child is driven by attachment biology, not manipulation.- Pain should not be displaced onto other children or social media.- Healing involves understanding and metabolizing pain, not just managing it.RESOURCES & SUPPORTFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores the impact of power on empathy within hierarchical relationships like families and workplaces. She emphasizes the importance of tenderness and perspective-taking for healing and reconciliation.Key TopicsThe impact of power on empathy and compassionHierarchical systems in families and organizationsThe importance of tenderness in repair and reconciliationPerspective-taking as a tool for empathy and healingStructural causes of estrangement and pathways to reconciliationResources & SupportFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed shares a personal and professional exploration of controlling parenting rooted in fear, its impact on estranged relationships, and pathways to healing by understanding underlying fears.Key Topics- Fear as the root of controlling behavior- The cycle of fear, control, and estrangement- Different fears manifesting as control behaviors02:57 Understanding Control in Parenting06:12 The Cycle of Fear and Control11:57 Estrangement and Its Impact on Parents16:59 Reframing Control and Fear22:10 Conclusion and Final ThoughtsResources & SupportFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed shares a personal and professional exploration of grief in reconciliation, emphasizing the invisible and complex nature of grief beyond death, especially in estrangement. The episode offers insights into managing hidden grief, the realities of reconciliation, and practical steps for healing.Key TopicsInvisible losses and hidden grief in reconciliationThe difference between contact and closeness in relationshipsThe importance of naming and owning griefThe emotional complexity of reconnected relationshipsPractical steps for managing grief and building safetyChapters00:00 Introduction to Grief and Estrangement06:36 Understanding Hidden Grief10:50 The Complexity of Reconciliation14:31 Navigating Grief in Relationships18:22 The Reality of Reconciliation22:35 Naming Grief for HealingResources & SupportFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

In this episode of The Estranged Heart, Kreed explores the harmful use of the term 'intimate terrorist' in family estrangement contexts, emphasizing the importance of nuanced understanding and curiosity over labels that deepen divides. Key TopicsThe impact of language in family estrangementThe difference between control and boundary-settingThe consequences of labeling a partner as a terroristThe importance of curiosity and nuance in reconciliationThe role of generational conditioning in family conflictsChapters00:00 Understanding the Term 'Intimate Terrorist'06:31 The Impact of Labeling on Relationships12:33 The Consequences for the Adult Child15:39 Generational Perspectives on Estrangement19:13 The Importance of Curiosity in Estrangement22:40 Reframing Language and Its PowerResources & SupportFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

In this episode of The Estranged Heart, host Kreed Summary explores the complex emotional landscape of estranged parents, emphasizing the importance of nuanced support and understanding. It challenges simplistic narratives and advocates for compassion, curiosity, and the recognition of complexity in healing relationships.KEY TOPICSThe emotional impact of estrangement and the search for groundingThe difference between validation and support that enables growthThe role of echo chambers in reinforcing binary thinkingThe importance of context and complexity in family relationshipsStrategies for providing nuanced support to estranged parentsCHAPTERS00:00 Introduction to Estrangement and Searching for Answers07:12 The Nature of Estrangement and Its Emotional Impact10:15 The Dangers of Echo Chambers in Support13:21 Binary Thinking and Its Effects on Relationships16:28 Navigating Support Spaces and Complex EmotionsRESOURCES & SUPPORTFacebook Estranged Moms Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

In this deeply reflective Mother’s Day episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores motherhood not simply as a role, but as an evolving identity - one that changes across the lifespan in ways many women are never emotionally prepared for. From the intensity of early caregiving to the shifting terrain of adolescence, adult independence, estrangement, reconciliation, and everything in between, this conversation examines the often invisible grief that emerges when motherhood changes shape.Together, we explore the emotional complexity of developmental separation, ambiguous relational grief, the hidden challenges of reconciliation, and the ways identity disruption can quietly shape maternal behavior. Most importantly, this episode invites a deeper question: If motherhood is meant to evolve, what does it mean to remain connected to yourself as the role changes?This is a conversation about grief, identity, emotional maturity, and the woman who continues becoming beneath every version of mother she has ever been.Key TakeawaysMotherhood is not a single transformation; it is a lifelong identity evolution.Grief can emerge not only from estrangement, but from healthy developmental transitions and changing family roles.Emotional pain does not automatically make our interpretations accurate or our behaviors relationally helpful.Reconciliation does not always restore emotional ease, certainty, or maternal confidence.Becoming more fully yourself is not abandoning motherhood - it may be one of its most mature invitations.Chapters00:00 The Complexity of Mother's Day06:50 The Evolution of Motherhood10:01 The Invisible Labor of Motherhood12:43 Navigating Developmental Changes16:10 The Emotional Landscape of Estrangement18:53 Reconciliation and Its Challenges22:03 The Impact of Uncertainty24:51 Grief and Its Many Forms27:49 The Journey of Self-Discovery30:46 Finding Balance in Motherhood33:47 The Invitation to Evolve37:09 Grief Support and Moving ForwardResources & SupportFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

Estranged parents carry a grief that doesn't fit any of the containers we have for it. It's not the grief of death. It doesn't come with rituals or recognition. And much of the world around them doesn't know how to hold it or quietly questions whether they have a right to it at all.In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed names a specific and often unspoken layer of that grief: the grief for the potential. Not the relationship you had with your adult child - the one you always believed was coming. The closeness that was supposed to develop. The grandmother you expected to become. The years ahead that had your child fully in them.In This EpisodeWhy estrangement grief doesn't fit our existing containers for loss and why that makes it harder to move throughWhat "grieving the potential" means for estranged parents: the specific futures that were lost, not just the relationship that exists nowThe particular grief of estranged mothers - including the grandmother grief that is often the most acute and least witnessedAnticipatory grief in the estranged parent experience: what it means to live in sustained, unresolved loss when reconciliation is still theoretically possibleThe grief of not being chosen - one of the most tender and least-named layers of the estranged parent experienceHow the "they'll come back eventually" narrative can become a way of skipping grief rather than sustaining hope - and why that mattersPractical guidance for how to actually grieve the potential, including why specific grief moves where vague grief stays stuckChapters00:00 Introduction to Estrangement Grief06:36 Understanding Potential Grief12:10 Anticipatory Grief and Its Impact14:35 What This Grief Is Not17:11 The Grief of Not Being Chosen21:39 Navigating Grief and Hope23:53 Practical Steps to Grieve Potential26:14 Finding Wholeness Beyond GriefResources & SupportFacebook Support Group for Estranged Moms (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

There is a sentence that follows estranged adult children like a slow-moving storm - especially when a parent is aging, ill, or has died: You're going to regret this.It sounds like concern. It lands like a verdict.In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed unpacks the critical difference between regret and grief and why getting that distinction wrong does real harm to estranged adult children. Regret implies a wrong choice. Grief honors a real loss. And most estranged adult children aren't carrying regret. They're carrying grief for the potential - the relationship they always hoped was possible and they've often been grieving it long before the estrangement was ever named.In This EpisodeWhy "you're going to regret this" is a verdict dressed as concern and what it gets fundamentally wrongThe difference between regret and grief, and why that distinction matters more than it might seemWhat "grieving the potential" actually means for estranged adult children and why the loss of a hoped-for relationship is just as real as the loss of one that existedAnticipatory grief in the no-contact experience: why many estranged adult children have been grieving their parent long before the parent diesWhat the "you'll regret it" message is often actually doing and whose discomfort it's really managingWhat grief after a no-contact parent's death actually looks like, including the complicated presence of reliefWhy estranged adult children are so often denied permission to grieve and why that needs to changeWhat estranged adult children, the people who love them, and the professionals who support them can each take from this episodeTime Stamps05:55 Understanding Regret vs. Grief10:33 The Complexity of Anticipatory Grief16:49 The Impact of Estrangement on Grief22:12 Navigating Grief and Moving ForwardResources & SupportFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores the impact of tough love parenting, its roots in cultural beliefs, and its effects on attachment and estrangement. She advocates for a presence-based approach that fosters genuine connection and healing.Key TopicsThe origins of tough love in cultural and generational beliefsHow tough love affects attachment and emotional regulationThe long-term impact of estrangement and emotional withdrawalA presence-based approach to healthy relationshipsChapters02:33 The Impact of Tough Love on Children06:58 Understanding the Child's Perspective11:49 Estrangement and Performance in Relationships15:49 The Defense of Tough Love20:41 Alternatives to Tough Love24:49 Conclusion: Rethinking Love and ConnectionResources & SupportFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

In this episode of The Estranged Heart, Kreed explores the complex emotional landscape of parental estrangement, focusing on the psychological impact of the phrase 'it's a them problem, not a me problem.' The episode offers insights into armor formation, the costs of defensiveness, and pathways toward genuine peace and self-integration.Key TopicsThe psychological impact of the phrase 'it's a them problem, not a me problem'The formation and function of emotional armor in parental estrangementThe costs of defensiveness on relationships and self-knowledgeThe importance of curiosity and self-inquiry in healingPathways to genuine peace and wholeness beyond blameChapters07:14 Understanding the Armor of Estrangement16:44 The Complexity of Responsibility in Estrangement21:16 Exploring What Lies Beneath the Armor26:05 The Costs of Staying Defended31:40 Curiosity as a Path to Healing37:52 Conclusion and Call to ActionResources & SupportFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

In this episode of The Estranged Heart Podcast, Kreed discusses the dangerous oversimplification of family estrangement as solely caused by cultural programming, emphasizing the importance of understanding individual experiences and fostering genuine curiosity to heal relationships.Key Topics- Cultural programming and family estrangement- The importance of understanding individual experiences- The danger of oversimplified narratives in healing- The role of curiosity in reconciliationResources & SupportFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

In this episode of The Estranged Heart, Kreed explores the emotional and physiological impacts of rumination and fear in the context of estrangement, offering practical insights on how to recognize, understand, and gently shift these patterns to foster healing.Key TopicsRumination vs ReflectionThe nervous system's role in fear and stressPatterns of mental looping in estrangementThe physiological impact of chronic worryPractices for presence and healingChapters04:39 Understanding Rumination and Estrangement08:29 Patterns of Rumination in Estrangement10:49 The Physiological Impact of Rumination14:13 Naming and Acknowledging Grief16:07 Redirecting Energy Towards HealingResources & SupportFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

Most estranged mothers are moving through their pain as one undifferentiated wave of awful - with no map, no language, and no way to name what's actually inside it. In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed breaks the wave apart. She walks through nine distinct layers that live inside estrangement pain and makes the case that naming each layer isn't wallowing. It's excavation. Because you cannot work with a pain you cannot see the parts of. You can only survive it. And surviving isn't the same as healing.Key TopicsWhy "estrangement" is a container - not a map - and what's actually inside itThe critical difference between shame and guilt, and why it changes everything about the workThe seven layers of fear and how they affect the futureThe role of hope and how to make it consciousUnseen grief and the importance of social witnessResources & SupportFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

Show NotesWhen a therapist posted about the "engagement asymmetry" in estrangement content - noting that posts about what parents did wrong go viral while content about adult children's responsibility goes quiet - it sparked a conversation worth having carefully. In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed unpacks why that asymmetry exists, what it's actually telling us, and why the "both sides" framing, however well-intentioned, can quietly close the very doors we're hoping to open. This is an episode about developmental power, the sequence of healing, and what it actually means to lead with love when leading feels like the hardest thing you've ever been asked to do.Key TopicsWhy estrangement content that names the adult child's experience spreads and what that hunger is really telling usThe difference between both/and thinking and the symmetry trapDevelopmental power: what a parent holds that a peer does notThe distinct types of estrangement and why treating them as one category does real harmEcho chambers on both sides: what happens when pain finds community but not growthThe sequence of healing and why it almost always needs to start with the parentWhat "leading with love" actually looks like and why it isn't surrenderWhat every reconciliation Kreed has witnessed has had in commonTime stamps00:00 — Introduction and Context of Estrangement02:48 — The Asymmetry of Engagement in Estrangement Discussions06:09 — Understanding Responsibility in Parent-Child Relationships08:55 — Different Types of Estrangement11:59 — The Echo Chamber Effect in Estrangement Narratives14:47 — The Role of Parents in Healing and Reconciliation17:58 — Final Thoughts on Healing and LoveResourcesFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesWebsite: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation based) https://buymeacoffee.com/kreedrevereDisclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores the meaning of resurrection in the context of estrangement, this episode offers profound insights on transformation, healing, and the power of inner change beyond reconciliation.Key Topics- Difference between restoration and resurrection- The death and transformation process in estrangement- The role of honesty and vulnerability in healing- The importance of sitting with discomfort- Building capacity for love without conditionsChapters00:00 Introduction to Estrangement and Holidays05:13 Understanding Resurrection vs. Restoration08:08 The Process of Transformation18:18 Navigating the In-Between: The Saturday25:09 The True Meaning of Resurrection33:27 Embracing Change and Personal Growth35:01 TEH-outro.mp3Resources & SupportFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

In this episode of The Estranged Heart, the final installment of a four-part series, Kreed concludes 5her discussion with an estranged adult daughter. Jen shares her profound journey through estrangement and healing. Discover how she navigated complex family dynamics, set boundaries, and found peace through therapy and self-work.00:00 Navigating Estrangement: A Personal Journey00:27 The Impact of Family Dynamics on Relationships05:48 Emotional Needs and Parental Expectations06:34 Seeking Understanding and Connection07:02 Navigating Parental Relationships and Isolation10:39 The Challenge of Healing Generational Wounds12:56 The Impact of COVID-19 on Family Dynamics14:44 Confronting Inconsistencies in Family Behavior17:08 Thanksgiving and Christmas: A Test of Relationships20:12 The Strain of Estrangement and Seeking Therapy26:43 The Consequences of Silence in Family Relationships33:30 Navigating Estrangement and Family Dynamics37:15 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Healing46:54 Facing Family Milestones with Confidence52:06 Coping with Disinheritance and Moving ForwardResources & SupportFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - ⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup⁠One-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: ⁠theestrangedheart.com⁠Email: [email protected] the work: ⁠Buy Me a Coffee⁠ (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

Content note: This episode contains discussions of sexual assault, suicide, pregnancy loss, and emotional neglect. Please take care of yourself first.This bridge episode of The Estranged Heart exists to correct an editorial error. Portions of Jen's story that were edited out of earlier episodes are restored here exactly as they were meant to be heard. Kreed opens with a direct public acknowledgment to Jen and to listeners, taking full accountability for content warnings that pointed to material that never made it to air.What follows is Jen's unfiltered account of her teenage years: the chaos and instability that followed her parents' divorce, being labeled as "too sensitive" and "overdramatic" by her mother, and turning to substances and a peer group that accepted her when home did not. Jen survived a sexual assault, a mother who was present in the practical sense but absent in every emotional one. That same year brought a pregnancy and miscarriage handled in a cold emergency room, and a mother who told her to "just get over it." Later, a young man Jen cared for died by suicide, and she carried that loss entirely alone because experience had already taught her there was no safe place to bring it home.Kreed weaves in reflection on the difference between big-T and little-t trauma, the role of emotional attunement in building resilience, what happens to a child's nervous system when chaos becomes the baseline, and how her father's eventual accountability - "you're right, I was wrong, I'm sorry" - became the quiet anchor Jen needed to survive her adolescence.KEY TAKEAWAYS- When a parent cannot or will not show up emotionally, a child will find belonging wherever they can and survival-based belonging has its own cost.- An unregulated nervous system in childhood doesn't disappear. It follows you into adulthood, into your marriage, and into how you parent your own children.- Accountability without explanation can be more healing than any amount of reasoning or justification.If you or someone you know is having a difficult time, free support is available. Call or text 988.Resources & SupportFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed interviews an estranged adult child. This interview (part two of a three part series) explores the journey of healing from family estrangement, the impact of childhood trauma, and the transformative power of self-awareness and intentional parenting. The guest shares personal stories and insights on breaking patterns, fostering peace, and creating ripple effects of love and understanding.Resources & SupportFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

On this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed interviews an estranged adult daughter. This interview explores the journey of healing from family estrangement, the impact of childhood trauma, and the transformative power of self-awareness and intentional parenting. The guest shares personal stories and insights on breaking patterns, fostering peace, and creating ripple effects of love and understanding.Resources & SupportFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

In this conversation on The Estranged Heart, Kreed explores the complex dynamics of estrangement and reconciliation between parents and their adult children. She emphasizes the importance of self-respect and emotional growth for parents who often find themselves in a cycle of chasing their estranged children. The discussion highlights the need for parents to stop pursuing their children out of desperation and instead focus on their own lives, allowing space for healing and potential reconnection. Kreed also distinguishes between reunion and reconciliation, stressing that true healing involves more than just physical proximity; it requires emotional safety and the courage to engage in difficult conversations.TakeawaysMany parents chase their adult children out of love and fear.Healing cannot be tethered to the hope of reunion.Reunion is about proximity; reconciliation is about emotional safety.Love involves being open to difficult conversations, not just waiting. Facebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

In this Sacred Sunday reflection of The Estranged Heart, Kreed explores how many of us learned early that obedience meant safety. Kreed gently examines the difference between obedience and integrity, and how the nervous system can equate assertion with danger. If you struggle to identify your own preferences, over-explain, apologize prematurely, or say yes while feeling resentment later, this conversation will likely resonate. This is not an episode about dismantling obedience. It is about examining its cost.Resources & SupportFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

When Oprah Winfrey released her podcast episode “When Families Cut Ties” on Thanksgiving, it ignited intense reactions across estranged parents, estranged adult children, therapists, and social media communities. Some felt validated. Others felt blamed, minimized, or misunderstood.In this episode of The Estranged Heart Podcast, estrangement coach and relational mediator Kreed Revere takes a thoughtful, trauma-informed, middle-ground approach - neither defending nor attacking the episode, but asking the deeper questions that largely went unasked.Rather than choosing sides, Kreed examines:why estrangement conversations collapse into defensiveness and moral certaintyhow culture, trauma, nervous systems, and power dynamics shape family cut-offswhy behavior is often misinterpreted as fixed personality or intentand how the absence of curiosity keeps families stuck in cycles of painThis episode is for estranged parents, estranged adult children, therapists, and anyone seeking healing over echo chambers.Estrangement is not a trend. It’s a relational signalValidation without resourcing keeps people stuckTrauma-informed work requires curiosity, not certaintyHealing demands accountability without shameKreed Revere is a relational midwife who specializes in parent and adult child estrangement, reconciliation and mediation support. She is also the host of The Estranged Heart Podcast. Having lived estrangement as both an adult child and a parent - and facilitated over 65 reconciliations - Kreed’s work centers on capacity-building, trauma literacy, and moving families beyond blame toward meaningful repair.Resources & SupportFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

In this Sacred Sunday conversation of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores the subtle yet profound experience of disorientation that arises when previously held beliefs and certainties begin to feel inadequate. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing this transition as a natural part of growth, rather than a collapse. Kreed encourages listeners to witness their feelings of unease and to understand that it is okay to feel disoriented during times of change. She advocates for a gentle approach to self-awareness, allowing oneself to sit with discomfort and recognize the evolution of personal beliefs.TakeawaysCertainty is a powerful shelter for many of us.Witnessing your beliefs is a tender process, not an aggressive dismantling.Feeling disoriented is a natural part of transition.Allow yourself to feel the wobble without labeling it as failure.Resources & SupportFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

In this episode of The Estranged Heart, Kreed explores one of the most common and most misunderstood narratives in parent–adult child estrangement: blaming an in-law. When a parent says, “My child was always close to me until they married,” it often reflects not denial or malice, but a nervous system trying to survive unbearable loss. Kreed gently unpacks why certainty feels safer than curiosity in estrangement, how innocence claims can function as self-protection, and why scapegoating a spouse quietly removes the adult child’s agency making repair impossible. This episode invites estranged parents to move beyond blame without collapsing into shame, and to explore how grief, identity loss, and unexamined closeness shape the stories we tell when relationships fracture.TAKEAWAYSBlaming an in-law often protects parents from overwhelming grief - but it also freezes the story and blocks healing.“I did nothing wrong” is frequently a trauma response, not a refusal to reflect.Repair becomes possible only when adult children are allowed agency in the story, even when their choices are painful.Resources & SupportFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

In this episode of the Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed delves into the complex emotional landscape of estrangement, particularly focusing on the trauma experienced by parents, especially mothers. The conversation explores how estrangement can trigger old wounds and feelings of confusion, panic, and helplessness. Kreed emphasizes the importance of understanding these feelings without assigning blame, and the need for support and permission to process these emotions. The episode also addresses the perspective of adult children and the challenges of reconciliation, highlighting that healing is not always linear and may require different approaches at different times.Takeaways- Mothers with significant trauma histories can experience an unraveling due to estrangement.- Healing is not always a linear process.- Estrangement can activate old survival (ie: protective) systems in the body.- Reconciliation can sometimes exacerbate feelings of distress.- Permission to pause and seek support is crucial.Resources & SupportFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

In this episode of The Estranged Heart, Kreed addresses what the estrangement conversation has been avoiding: the traumatic impact of estrangement on parents at a nervous system level. This isn't about excusing harm or pressuring reconciliation. It's about understanding why telling parents to "just get it" has failed. There's extensive talk about adult children's experiences, boundaries, and emotionally immature parents, but almost no trauma-informed conversation about what estrangement does to parents. When something this big goes unnamed, it shows up sideways in resistance, defensiveness, rigidity, and shutdown.For parents, estrangement isn't just painful - it's traumatic. From their perspective, it arrives suddenly, often without warning, and destabilizes core identity:Who am I if I'm not a parent in relationship with my child?What did my life mean if this is how it turned out?What does the future look like now?Parents are expected to metabolize this identity collapse quietly and quickly while simultaneously becoming more reflective, accountable, and curious. This expectation is neurologically incoherent."Parents don't change because they are told to 'be accountable.' Parents change when their nervous systems can tolerate reality without collapsing."Resources & SupportThe Heart Collective Membership CommunityTwice-monthly live support groups for estranged and reconciled momsCommunity support and resourcesFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

In this Heart Scripture episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed examines the profound connection between obedience and love, exploring how compliance often served as a survival strategy in childhood and the complex grief that emerges when we begin to question whether love should have required obedience at all.Obedience as Relational StrategyHow following rules became a map for preserving closeness and approvalThe Tender Origins of ComplianceEnvironments where unpredictability lived and belonging felt fragileWhat Trembles When Obedience Is QuestionedWhy releasing obedience as an organizing principle feels like risking everythingThe Grief of Losing CertaintyMourning the illusion that following rules guaranteed careThis episode offers compassionate space to acknowledge that obedience once worked. It protected something tender and kept us safe. It invites us to mourn what we're releasing without condemning what once served us, and to sit with the unsettling questions about what love requires when compliance is no longer the answer.Resources & SupportThe Heart Collective Membership CommunityTwice-monthly live support groups for estranged and reconciled momsCommunity support and resourcesFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

In this powerful episode, of The Estranged Heart podcast, marking the 10-year anniversary of her own estrangement, Kreed explores why parents' feelings deserve care, but cannot be resolved by rewriting their adult children as villains. Drawing from her unique perspective as both a former estranged parent and adult child who achieved reconciliation, she examines the protective function of villain narratives and their ultimate cost.The Hidden Function of Villain StoriesVillain narratives aren't born from cruelty—they're born from overwhelm, pain, and protectionThe True Cost of Moral CertaintyVillain stories may soothe the nervous system temporarily, but they freeze movement and make real repair nearly impossibleWhat Estrangement Really ExposesParents were told (implicitly or explicitly) that if they loved, sacrificed, and provided enough, their child would stayThe Casualties of CertaintyGrief never completes its cycle because it requires contact with loss, not moral victoryShame goes underground and hardens into defensiveness"What feeling am I protecting by needing my child to be the villain?" This isn't an interrogation—it's an invitation. You don't have to answer today.What Your Feelings Deserve:Your grief deserves careYour anger deserves spaceYour shame deserves tendernessYour heartbreak deserves witnessesWhat They Cannot Do:Your child cannot be the container for those feelingsNeither can a story that requires erasing their inner life to soothe your own painKreed's Personal Testimony"I firmly believe that if I had stayed in that frame of mind [of villainizing my daughters], we would not be reconciled today. And we have been reconciled eight and nine years this year."Resources & SupportThe Heart Collective Membership CommunityTwice-monthly live support groups for estranged and reconciled momsCommunity support and resourcesFacebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupOne-on-One ServicesPrivate coachingConsultingMediation servicesConnect with Kreed:Website: theestrangedheart.comEmail: [email protected] the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform)Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

In this inaugural episode of Heart Scriptures, Kreed offers profound compassion for those navigating the collapse of certainty - exploring the grief that emerges when the structures that once provided safety, meaning, and belonging begin to constrict rather than shelter us. This episode offers sacred permission to grieve the collapse of certainty without pathologizing the process. It reminds us that we are not behind, not broken - we are simply standing at a threshold where what once held can no longer do so. The invitation is to rest in the not-knowing, to honor what mattered enough to wound us, and to resist the urgency to replace old certainties with new ones before we're ready.Take AwaysCertainty as Shelter - The way certainty organized the world and clarified belongingThe Quiet Failure of Certainty - When what steadied the nervous system begins to constrict itThe Grief of Letting Go - Discovering obedience doesn't always equal goodnessThe In-Between - Feeling unmoored in the space between certaintiesShame in the Threshold - Shame for doubting what once felt sacredThe Cost of Defending Certainty - The weight of unspoken truthwww.TheEstrangedHeart.comEmail: [email protected] with Kreed: https://theestrangedheart.com/services(private coaching, mediation, support groups, webinars, etc.)The Heart Collective: https://theestrangedheart.com/membershipFacebook Support Group for Estranged Moms (facilitated by Kreed)https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupTo support the podcast and Kreed’s work with estranged and reconciled parents and adult children: https://buymeacoffee.com/kreedrevere

In this episode of The Estranged Heart, Kreed explores the profound impact of curiosity in relationships, particularly in the context of estrangement and reconciliation. She emphasizes that curiosity is not merely a communication skill but a fundamental respect for another's experience. Through personal anecdotes, she illustrates how the absence of curiosity can lead to feelings of erasure and dismissal, ultimately affecting relational dynamics. Kreed advocates for a shift towards curiosity as a means of granting dignity and fostering deeper connections.Takeaways- The absence of curiosity can lead to feelings of erasure.- Self-protection often prioritizes coherence over connection.- Curiosity requires emotional slack and openness.- Curiosity is not just a skill; it's a willingness to be changed.- Curiosity fosters dignity in real-time interactions.www.TheEstrangedHeart.comEmail: [email protected] with Kreed: https://theestrangedheart.com/services(private coaching, mediation, support groups, webinars, etc.)The Heart Collective: https://theestrangedheart.com/membershipFacebook Support Group for Estranged Moms (facilitated by Kreed)https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupTo support the podcast and Kreed’s work with estranged and reconciled parents and adult children: https://buymeacoffee.com/kreedrevere

In this episode of the Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed discusses the damaging myth that adult children expect perfection from their parents. She emphasizes that what they truly seek is behavioral change and accountability. The conversation explores the emotional complexities surrounding estrangement, the importance of repair in relationships, and how discomfort is often misinterpreted as abuse. Kreed invites parents to reflect on their own fears and the need for self-awareness in order to foster healthier connections with their adult children.TAKE AWAYSThe belief that children expect perfection is structurally false.Behavioral change is what adult children are truly asking for.Estrangement often results from patterns of emotional injury, not single conflicts.www.TheEstrangedHeart.comEmail: [email protected] with Kreed: https://theestrangedheart.com/services(private coaching, mediation, support groups, webinars, etc.)The Heart Collective: https://theestrangedheart.com/membershipFacebook Support Group for Estranged Moms (facilitated by Kreed)https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupTo support the podcast and Kreed’s work with estranged and reconciled parents and adult children: https://buymeacoffee.com/kreedrevere

In this episode of The Estrange Heart Podcast, Kreed discusses the often misunderstood concept of 'owning your shit.' She emphasizes that this is not merely a moral virtue but rather a matter of emotional and relational capacity. Kreed explores the dynamics of accountability, identity threat, and shame, particularly in parent-child relationships. She highlights the importance of understanding one's capacity to engage in accountability and the potential harm of pushing for apologies without readiness. The conversation also delves into the significance of setting boundaries with compassion and the true essence of ownership in healing relationships.TakeawaysOwning your shit is about capacity, not morality.Identity threat can lead to existential crises for parents.Shame activation can shut down communication and reflection.Pushing for accountability without capacity can cause more harm.Maturity in relationships means understanding one's limits.The goal is to avoid adding harm in the name of truth.www.TheEstrangedHeart.comEmail: [email protected] with Kreed: https://theestrangedheart.com/services(private coaching, mediation, support groups, webinars, etc.)The Heart Collective: https://theestrangedheart.com/membershipFacebook Support Group for Estranged Moms (facilitated by Kreed)https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupTo support the podcast and Kreed’s work with estranged and reconciled parents and adult children: https://buymeacoffee.com/kreedrevere

In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed  explores the dual forces of conflict and love within estranged parent-adult child relationships. Speaking from the perspectives of both conflict and love, Kreed emphasizes the importance of acknowledging conflict without trying to fix it, and the necessity of allowing love to coexist with it. The conversation encourages listeners to embrace their feelings and experiences without the pressure of resolution, highlighting the complexity of relationships and the journey of personal growth.TakeawaysConflict is often ignored to maintain a facade of stability..Love can exist alongside conflict without needing resolution.Both conflict and love serve important roles in relationships.Personal growth involves accepting complexity and uncertainty.Chapters00:00 Introduction to Conflict and Love06:00 Understanding Conflict11:52 Embracing Love in Conflict15:09 Solstice Blessing and Closing Thoughtswww.TheEstrangedHeart.comEmail: [email protected] with Kreed: https://theestrangedheart.com/services(private coaching, mediation, support groups, webinars, etc.)The Heart Collective: https://theestrangedheart.com/membershipFacebook Support Group for Estranged Moms (facilitated by Kreed) https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupTo support the podcast and Kreed’s work with estranged and reconciled parents and adult children: https://buymeacoffee.com/kreedrevere

In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed discusses the importance of mediation in family dynamics, particularly for estranged parents and adult children. She emphasizes the need for emotional regulation, accountability, and the willingness to engage in the mediation process to foster healing and connection. Through various insights and professional experiences, Kreed highlights how mediation can serve as a powerful tool for interrupting negative patterns and facilitating meaningful conversations.Takeaways- Mediation is powerful for interrupting old family patterns.- Support is essential in emotionally charged conversations.Ruptures in relationships are normal and can be repaired.- Mediation teaches families how to communicate and repair.- Mediation is not a magic fix yet is a structured approach to healing.www.TheEstrangedHeart.comEmail: [email protected] with Kreed: https://theestrangedheart.com/services(private coaching, mediation, support groups, webinars, etc.)The Heart Collective: https://theestrangedheart.com/membershipFacebook Support Group for Estranged Moms (facilitated by Kreed)https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupTo support the podcast and Kreed’s work with estranged and reconciled parents and adult children: https://buymeacoffee.com/kreedrevere

In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed delves into the complexities of estrangement between parents and adult children, exploring the emotional and psychological impacts on both parties. It highlights how past traumas can influence current perceptions and reactions, particularly in the context of communication and responses from adult children. The discussion emphasizes the importance of understanding these dynamics to foster healing and better relationships.TakeawaysEstrangement feels high-stakes due to past trauma.Current interactions are often colored by previous experiences.Estrangement can create a cycle of anxiety and fear.Recognizing these patterns can aid in rebuilding relationships.Healing requires awareness of emotional triggers.www.TheEstrangedHeart.comEmail: [email protected] with Kreed: https://theestrangedheart.com/services(private coaching, mediation, support groups, webinars, etc.)The Heart Collective: https://theestrangedheart.com/membershipFacebook Support Group for Estranged Moms (facilitated by Kreed)https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupTo support the podcast and Kreed’s work with estranged and reconciled parents and adult children: https://buymeacoffee.com/kreedrevere

In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores the emotional turmoil faced by parents dealing with estrangement, particularly during family gatherings like Thanksgiving. She emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and embracing one's feelings rather than pretending everything is fine. Kreed provides insights into coping strategies and the journey towards finding joy amidst grief.TakeawaysAcknowledging feelings is crucial for emotional health.Pretending everything is okay can be harmful.Finding joy is possible even in grief.Self-compassion is key in difficult moments.www.TheEstrangedHeart.comEmail: [email protected] with Kreed: https://theestrangedheart.com/services(private coaching, mediation, support groups, webinars, etc.)The Heart Collective: https://theestrangedheart.com/membershipFacebook Support Group for Estranged Moms (facilitated by Kreed)https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupTo support the podcast and Kreed’s work with estranged and reconciled parents and adult children: https://buymeacoffee.com/kreedrevere

In this episode of The Estranged Heart Podcast, Kreed explores the concept of coded family communication, where socially acceptable phrases mask deeper emotional discomfort. He discusses how this coded language can lead to emotional gatekeeping, impacting relationships and emotional expression. The conversation emphasizes the importance of recognizing and decoding these phrases to foster emotional honesty and connection within families, particularly regarding the misunderstood role of anger.TakeawaysCoded language masks emotional discomfort and avoidance.Emotions like anger, grief, and fear are often labeled as unacceptable.Coded phrases are inherited and perpetuated through generations.Emotional gatekeeping can lead to estrangement and silence in relationships.Building emotional fluency fosters deeper connections and understanding.www.TheEstrangedHeart.comEmail: [email protected] with Kreed: https://theestrangedheart.com/services(private coaching, mediation, support groups, webinars, etc.)The Heart Collective: https://theestrangedheart.com/membershipFacebook Support Group for Estranged Moms (facilitated by Kreed)https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupTo support the podcast and Kreed’s work with estranged and reconciled parents and adult children: https://buymeacoffee.com/kreedrevere 

In this episode of The Estranged Heart, Kreed addresses the emotional turmoil and exhaustion experienced by parents dealing with estrangement from their adult children. The discussion emphasizes the importance of acknowledging pain, understanding the complexities of grief, and the necessity of acceptance in the healing process. Kreed encourages listeners to transform their pain into wisdom and to communicate effectively, both with themselves and others, while building emotional resilience and seeking support.TakeawaysEstrangement can lead to deep emotional exhaustion.It's normal to feel anger, resentment, and fear in these situations.Acknowledging pain is the first step towards healing.Pain that is resisted becomes suffering; pain that is witnessed becomes wisdom.Support systems are crucial; not all friends and family can provide the needed support.www.TheEstrangedHeart.comEmail: [email protected] with Kreed: https://theestrangedheart.com/services(private coaching, mediation, support groups, webinars, etc.)The Heart Collective: https://theestrangedheart.com/membershipFacebook Support Group for Estranged Moms (facilitated by Kreed)https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupTo support the podcast and Kreed’s work with estranged and reconciled parents and adult children: https://buymeacoffee.com/kreedreverewww.TheEstrangedHeart.comEmail: [email protected] with Kreed: https://theestrangedheart.com/services(private coaching, mediation, support groups, webinars, etc.)The Heart Collective: https://theestrangedheart.com/membershipFacebook Support Group for Estranged Moms (facilitated by Kreed)https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupTo support the podcast and Kreed’s work with estranged and reconciled parents and adult children: https://buymeacoffee.com/kreedrevere

In this episode of the Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed discusses the emotional challenges faced by those experiencing estrangement during the holiday season. Through personal anecdotes and reflections, she explores themes of grief, exclusion, and the loss of traditional roles within families. The episode emphasizes the importance of acknowledging pain, finding new ways to celebrate, and practicing self-care during difficult times. Listeners are encouraged to embrace their feelings and create new traditions that honor their experiences.TakeawaysIt's important to acknowledge and sit with one's pain.Survival during the holidays can take many forms.Self-care is essential during difficult emotional times.Honesty about feelings can be more healing than pretending.You are worthy of gentleness and grace, even in grief.www.TheEstrangedHeart.comEmail: [email protected] with Kreed: https://theestrangedheart.com/services(private coaching, mediation, support groups, webinars, etc.)The Heart Collective: https://theestrangedheart.com/membershipFacebook Support Group for Estranged Moms (facilitated by Kreed)https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroupTo support the podcast and Kreed’s work with estranged and reconciled parents and adult children: https://buymeacoffee.com/kreedrevere