Dating Déjà vu

You say you want a relationship… but have you ever stopped to ask if you’re actually ready for one?In this episode, Christina breaks down the uncomfortable truth most people avoid: wanting love and having the capacity for it are two very different things. If you keep finding yourself in the same dating patterns, feeling frustrated, or attracting the “wrong” people, this conversation will challenge you to look inward.We’re diving into the hidden ways you might be blocking connection (without realizing it), how unprocessed past relationships show up in new ones, and what it really means to be ready for a healthy partnership.This is your wake-up call to stop performing readiness and start building it.-Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

We’re back and we’re starting Season 2 with chaos, clarity, and a case study you cannot ignore.In this episode, we break down the viral mess unfolding on Summer House featuring West Wilson, Ciara Miller, Amanda Batula, and Kyle Cooke and why it’s the perfect example of relationship ambiguity in action.If you’ve ever been in a “situationship,” felt confused about where you stand, or stayed longer than you should’ve because “it felt like more”… this one’s for you.We’re unpacking what really happens when a relationship is never defined and why that gray area isn’t accidental… it’s strategic.-Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

If your relationship feels stuck or your love life is on autopilot, this episode is your reset button. Christina walks you through 10 small but powerful relationship microshifts that can bring big results—fast.Whether you're dating, committed, or married, these simple yet science-backed strategies will help you:🩵 Feel more connected🩵 Communicate more clearly🩵 Build trust🩵 And bring emotional safety back to the forefront.Perfect for anyone wondering "How can I fix my relationship without therapy?" or "Why do I keep repeating toxic relationship patterns?"Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 – Why your relationship can't thrive if you're depleted00:42 – Press the reset button: Why microshifts matter01:16 – Microshift 1: Shift focus intentionally with positive interactions02:00 – Microshift 2: Express one sincere appreciation daily03:12 – Microshift 3: Use the 24-hour rule before addressing conflict04:16 – Microshift 4: Practice active listening & “I feel” statements07:12 – Microshift 5: Schedule weekly emotional check-ins08:15 – Microshift 6: Reignite connection with hugs and kisses09:31 – Microshift 7: Speak your partner’s love language… daily10:59 – Microshift 8: Own your part in conflict12:35 – Microshift 9: Show you’ve got your partner’s back14:09 – Microshift 10: Do something for you today15:36 – Start now: Pick one shift and change your love life today

Is your dating life stuck in a cycle of extreme highs and sudden ghosting? You might be trapped in all or nothing thinking. In this episode of Dating Déjà Vu, Christina unpacks the dangers of black-and-white thinking in modern dating and how it sabotages real connection.If you're constantly looking for red flags, obsessed with instant chemistry, or walking away too quickly when things aren’t perfect—this episode is for you. Christina shares relatable stories, helpful mindset shifts, and her viral 3-3-3 dating rule to help you move from fear-based dating to curiosity-driven connection.Tune in now! Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 – Welcome + Podcast intro 00:16 – Meet Christina Hathaway 00:25 – All or nothing thinking in dating 00:54 – How this mindset shows up in other areas of life 01:23 – Black-and-white thinking sabotages connection 01:47 – Christina’s personal example from high school 02:21 – What is all-or-nothing thinking? 02:49 – Extreme reactions and ghosting after good dates 03:22 – The fear behind rigid standards 03:37 – Examples of extreme thinking in dating 04:11 – Craving fast chemistry and intensity 04:43 – Labeling people too quickly 05:32 – Generalizing bad experiences 05:50 – Putting all your eggs in one basket 06:34 – Hurt becomes your whole reference point 07:03 – The illusion of control 07:20 – Vulnerability vs. protection 07:59 – Choosing curiosity over conclusions 08:27 – Questions to reflect on during early dating 08:44 – The 3-3-3 Rule for dating 09:08 – The power of slow burns 09:44 – Stop looking for reasons to leave 10:31 – Expecting uncertainty in relationships 10:43 – Christina’s personal love story 10:58 – Discomfort vs. protecting your peace 11:12 – The full 3x3x3 dating rule explained 12:07 – Avoiding infatuation cycles 12:21 – Wait for clarity before bailing 12:47 – Giving relationships space to grow 13:07 – Reflection: When have you bailed from discomfort? 13:44 – Identifying your extreme dating patterns 14:14 – Encouragement to stay in the gray 14:26 – Share, review, and support the show 14:56 – Final reminders

Being vulnerable in a healthy relationship can feel unsafe—especially if you've been burned before. But vulnerability is the key to building real emotional intimacy and connection. In this episode, Christina Hathaway, licensed marriage and family therapist, breaks down what healthy vulnerability actually looks like, why it’s not oversharing or trauma dumping, and how to express your truth without losing your identity.If you’ve ever struggled to say what you really feel, if you tend to merge into your partner or over-function emotionally, or if you're navigating relationships with old wounds, this episode is for you!Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 – Vulnerability in healthy relationships can feel unsafe at first00:38 – Inspired by Matthew Hussey’s take on intimacy01:31 – Defining vulnerability: It’s not oversharing or codependency02:44 – The power of sharing truth without performance03:44 – Real-life example: Writing a note to her husband04:16 – Navigating boundary-setting early in dating05:03 – Language to honor boundaries while staying open06:11 – Don't confuse merging with intimacy07:49 – Staying present through discomfort and hormonal shifts09:26 – Healthy intimacy isn’t about safety all the time—it’s about discernment10:25 – Never weaponize someone's vulnerability11:55 – Allowing mutual emotional exposure in relationships13:00 – You don’t rush trust—you build it14:21 – Key questions to ask yourself when gauging emotional safety15:35 – What to do when you fear someone will leave after opening up16:11 – Final thoughts + call to share this episode

Are you constantly questioning your relationship, but can't quite explain why?In this episode, Christina breaks down 10 subtle yet powerful signs it's time to leave a relationship—even if there hasn’t been a dramatic breakup, betrayal, or obvious red flag. If you're stuck in confusion, this episode will give you the clarity—and permission—you need!Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 – Introduction02:20 – Why we tolerate “comfortable” relationships03:44 – 🚩 Sign #1: You’re constantly negotiating your needs down04:58 – 🚩 Sign #2: Your body feels more anxious than excited06:23 – 🚩 Sign #3: You’re walking on eggshells08:07 – 🚩 Sign #4: You’re clinging to potential, not reality09:41 – 🚩 Sign #5: Your boundaries are blurry11:12 – 🚩 Sign #6: You’re doing more emotional labor12:41 – 🚩 Sign #7: You need others to validate your feelings13:24 – 🚩 Sign #8: You no longer feel like yourself around them15:31 – 🚩 Sign #9: They love the idea of you, not the real you16:56 – 🚩 Sign #10: The idea of leaving brings relief, not fear18:44 – How to reconnect to yourself after walking away19:28 – Final thoughts + journaling prompts for clarity

Are you dating someone’s potential... or just their cowboy boots? In this spicy Love Island deep dive, Christina breaks down what Olandria’s journey teaches us about fantasy, red flags, and why holding on too long can cost us our peace.In this week's episode, Christina dissects the latest drama on Love Island USA—specifically the emotional rollercoaster between Olandria, Taylor, and Clark, and connects it to real-life dating patterns.If you’ve ever found yourself fixated on a type (hello, cowboy or baller!) and ignored the red flags just because the fantasy looked good on paper, this episode is your wake-up call. Christina helps listeners unpack the dangerous loop of romantic idealization and shows how to break free from dating déjà vu.Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 – Introduction00:45 – Olandria & Taylor03:30 – Fantasy vs. Reality in dating athletes, cowboys, and “types”06:00 – What Taylor actually represents—and the red flags08:45 – Post-Casa Amor: How Taylor showed his true colors10:14 – Nick vs. Taylor: Real connection vs. performative affection13:20 – Disrespect on display: The “cowboy” falls off the horse15:01 – When we protect the fantasy more than our peace17:25 – Better questions to ask when stuck in romantic loops19:11 – Cowboy vibes vs. Cowboy values: Know the difference22:00 – A story about choosing the right kind of partner23:16 – The real fairytale? Truth, safety, and consistency23:53 – Final challenge: Are you chasing the wrong cowboy?

In this episode, Christina unpacks the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways we change ourselves to be loved, wanted, or accepted. Are you healing and growing because you want to or are you unconsciously shifting to become more palatable for your partner?She dives into the difference between self-evolution and self-abandonment, explains the psychology behind shape-shifting in dating, and offers powerful self-check questions to help you reclaim your self-worth, authenticity, and voice in relationships. If you're tired of auditioning for love, this one’s for you.Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 Introduction00:20 Meet Christina and the podcast00:31 Are you changing for you or for them00:53 Inspired by real client conversations01:11 People shrink themselves in relationships01:42 Self-growth vs self-abandonment02:15 Story of someone changing to please a partner03:05 Change rooted in validation doesn’t last03:50 The pressure to shape-shift in dating04:33 People silence themselves without being asked05:11 Acting feels heavy because it’s not real05:27 Growth feels expansive, protection feels tight06:04 Real change aligns with your values06:33 Would you stay this version if they left07:30 Childhood teaches us to adapt to be safe08:39 Dating becomes a performance for approval09:42 Validation-seeking leads to unhealthy change10:01 Real love doesn’t ask you to shrink10:45 Growth means setting boundaries and staying close to self11:34 Christina shares how healing changed her relationships12:23 Don’t shame your past self for surviving12:56 Heal your own holes to become whole13:29 Do you love yourself when you’re not performing13:44 Closing thoughts and clarity call invite

Love Island fans, let's talk!In this episode of Dating Déjà Vu, Christina dives deep into the messy (and frankly, uncomfortable) dynamic between Huda and Jeremiah from Love Island USA. Christina dissects what love addiction looks like in real-time, the psychological games at play, and how emotional manipulation, insecurity, and trauma bonding can destroy even the most passionate connections.Whether or not you watch the show, this episode is a must-listen for anyone who’s dated someone too fast, too soon, or felt stuck in a fantasy that turned toxic!Listen now!Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 Introduction01:11 Huda & Jeremiah: Too fast, too intense02:22 When the fantasy starts to crack04:00 Love addiction vs. real love05:32 Manipulating exclusivity06:43 Blocking connections out of fear08:30 Weaponizing motherhood09:57 Pancake fight = power play11:05 The “double bind” trap13:15 Signs of BPD & trauma18:54 America votes—and everything changes20:21 Final thoughts & listener reminder

Is your relationship starting to feel more like cohabitating than connecting? In this episode of Dating Deja Vu, therapist and relationship expert Christina Hathaway dives deep into the quiet crisis so many couples face: the shift from romantic partners to roommates. She breaks down why this happens, how to spot the signs of hidden loneliness in your relationship, and most importantly—what to do about it.Whether you're dating, married, or somewhere in between, this episode will challenge you to reflect, reconnect, and revive intimacy without relying on forced date nights or grand gestures.Listen now!Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 – Intro00:49 – Are you feeling more like roommates than lovers?01:22 – The signs of "roommate energy" in relationships02:33 – How disconnection slowly creeps in03:49 – Mundane routines vs. meaningful connection04:49 – Loneliness inside a “functional” relationship06:27 – Christina’s honest personal reflections07:09 – “You can still be in love and feel alone”08:05 – No repair, no curiosity, no foreplay = disconnection08:57 – Over-functioning and bargaining: what we do when intimacy fades09:40 – Why polarity and tension matter in romantic connection10:39 – Reigniting without forcing it: “Name it, don’t blame it”11:19 – Micro-moments and rituals over grand gestures12:42 – Reclaiming your own energy and vitality14:08 – Ask better questions to get deeper with your partner14:56 – If you're the only one trying: disrupting the cycle15:41 – Coaching, counseling, and choosing intimacy16:41 – The truth about roommate energy—it’s not the end, but it’s a sign17:13 – You deserve to be chosen, not just tolerated17:24 – How to work with Christina + final message

In this episode, Christina gets brutally honest about what it actually takes to move on after a breakup without ghosting your feelings or glamorizing your ex. From the grief of “the future that never happened” to the shame spiral of the inner critic, Christina breaks down the real psychology behind heartbreak and why feeling your emotions is the most radical thing you can do.Whether you’re fresh off a split or still low-key stalking their Instagram, this episode gives you a step-by-step playbook to stop repeating patterns, reclaim your power, and reconnect to you.Hit play now!Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 – Intro01:17 – Why this episode matters: The real breakup guide03:20 – Christina’s own breakup story: raw, messy, and transformational04:46 – The biology of breakups: dopamine, oxytocin, and chemical chaos06:02 – Coping or numbing? The traps of distraction07:08 – Your world is crumbling—and that’s part of the process07:42 – Inner critics, Judge Judy, and shame spirals09:41 – You don’t need validation to heal—reclaim your worth11:09 – What people think after a breakup (and why it’s BS)12:13 – Letting go of the fantasy future: reassign your loyalty to you13:33 – The reframe: It wasn’t “the one,” it was a clarifier14:37 – Breakup rules that actually work15:54 – The 90-second emotional wave: feel it to free it17:29 – No-contact, detox, and declutter: clean break strategies19:22 – Rituals, routines, and reclaiming your space21:04 – Your healing support crew: who to call and why

Is your love language still stuck in the 90s?In this episode, Christina breaks down the five original love languages and gives them the 2025 upgrade they desperately needed.We’re talking less about flowers and sweet texts, and more about safety, consent, intentionality, and presence. Christina shares personal stories and real-life examples to help you recognize how these love languages show up in today’s modern relationships and how they might be misfiring without you even realizing it.Tune in now!Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:0:00 – Introduction01:04 – Why love languages need an upgrade for 202502:17 – Love Language #1: From "Words of Affirmation" → to "Words + Intentional Tone"04:00 – Love Language #2: From "Acts of Service" → to "Capacity Check-Ins"06:33 – Love Language #3: From "Quality Time" → to "Undistracted Presence"08:25 – Love Language #4: From "Physical Touch" → to "Safe, Regulated, Consensual Touch"10:59 – Love Language #5: From "Gifts" → to "Intentionality Over Expense"12:52 – Final Thoughts: Love languages shift—so should expectations13:33 – Outro

Could the role you played in your family growing up be sabotaging your relationships today?In today’s episode, Christina unpacks the hidden dynamics of family roles—those subconscious identities many of us assume in childhood to navigate dysfunction. These roles might’ve once helped us survive, but they often sabotage our adult relationships and self-worth.Whether you’re navigating healing, parenting with more intention, or just trying to understand yourself better, this episode is for you.If this resonates, don’t forget to follow and share! Every listen helps spread awareness and healing. Let’s break cycles together!Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Send me your questions: https://bit.ly/43FWH70Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 – Intro01:38 – The root of dysfunctional family roles: survival and coping02:48 – The Hero: perfectionism and performance as protection04:13 – The Scapegoat: acting out the family’s hidden pain05:38 – The Lost Child: invisibility as a shield06:57 – The Mascot: using humor to diffuse tension08:17 – The Enabler: keeping the peace at a personal cost09:57 – How these roles can follow us into adulthood12:18 – Awareness as the catalyst for change13:33 – Breaking the cycle: naming, grieving, and healing15:10 – A message of hope: you’re not broken—you adapted16:05 – Outro

Not all therapy is created equal, especially when it comes to love, dating, and relationships. In this episode, Christina explores the most important red flags to watch for in dating and relationship therapists so you can protect your emotional well-being and get the support you deserve.Whether you're navigating a breakup, building better relationship patterns, or healing from past trauma, your therapist should be a safe, skilled, and supportive guide. Christina breaks down common signs that your therapist may be crossing boundaries, offering biased advice, or making your relationship issues worse—not better.If you've ever felt unheard, judged, or confused in sessions, this episode is a must-listen. You’ll walk away with clear insight on what to look for, how to advocate for yourself, and when it might be time to find a new therapist.Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 Why therapist red flags matter in dating and relationship work02:41 Oversharing shifts focus away from you04:57 Judgment makes it hard to open up06:46 Being late or forgetful shows disrespect08:35 No challenge or too much critique isn’t helpful10:11 Friend-like behavior crosses boundaries12:24 Ignoring culture or identity is harmful14:48 Over-labeling overlooks your real story17:04 Trust your gut when something feels off18:36 Speak up or find a better fit20:26 You deserve a therapist who truly supports you

Is your new relationship post-breakup helping you heal—or hiding your hurt?In this episode, Christina dives deep into one of the most common (and confusing) post-breakup questions: is this new partner a rebound or a reset?Whether you're dating for healing, distraction, or connection, your post-breakup decisions shape your future relationships. Christina helps you reflect on your emotional readiness, shares why your nervous system might be pushing you to pair up too soon, and offers signs that you're ready to date again—with intention.Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 Intro01:31 Why what you do after the breakup matters most02:06 Defining a rebound: Dating for avoidance, not alignment02:49 Grieving vs. numbing with novelty03:54 How unprocessed pain shows up in your next relationship04:34 Why we rush to replace: Attachment, wiring, and self-worth05:33 Distraction vs. decision: Why rebounds repeat your past06:30 Example from The Valley: Brittany’s post-divorce dating07:36 What a true reset looks like08:10 Emotional processing: Letting yourself feel and move through grief09:21 Dating for desire, not desperation10:10 Christina’s healing journey post-breakup11:07 When a rebound can become a reset11:42 Self-reflection questions to determine if it’s rebound or reset12:35 Healing must come before clarity and connection13:06 Outro

Can you be career-driven and still embody femininity in relationships? In this episode, Christina dives deep into the double bind faced by high-achieving women in the dating world. She unpacks how ambition, control, and performance can sabotage romantic connections, and how embracing softness doesn’t mean sacrificing power.This episode is a must-listen for all the ambitious, goal-oriented women who feel stuck in a cycle of overfunctioning, micromanaging, or attracting emotionally unavailable partners. You’ll walk away with mindset shifts, actionable insights, and a reminder: you don’t have to trade ambition for intimacy.Listen now!Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 Why ambitious women shrink or overfunction in dating.01:21 The struggle between being driven and staying feminine.02:42 The two extremes: leading with success or playing small.04:28 Balancing confidence without being seen as intimidating.05:21 Understanding masculine vs. feminine energy in love.06:49 A client story about micromanaging dates and its impact.08:18 Why dating should be about presence, not performance.09:43 How childhood conditioning fuels the need to prove.12:53 Why nervous system regulation is key to receiving love.14:04 The power of pausing before jumping into control mode.15:37 How to express your needs without overexplaining.17:33 Dating isn’t a performance review—it’s real life.

Are they gaslighting you or are you just misusing the term?In this episode, Christina breaks down two of the most misunderstood (and overused) buzzwords in modern dating: gaslighting and narcissism. With compassion and clarity, she explains how labeling every ex or situationship with these terms can be damaging. Not just to them, but to your own healing.Let's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 – Intro01:42 – Why we misuse dramatic terms to feel heard03:03 – Understanding emotional manipulation vs. conflict03:36 – What gaslighting really is (and isn’t)05:35 – The power imbalance and how low self-trust attracts manipulation06:54 – Gaslighting as a defense mechanism rooted in trauma08:12 – Clear example: Flirty behavior vs. real gaslighting09:53 – Core difference: invalidation vs. disagreement10:30 – Defining narcissism and the “better than” ego state11:44 – Narcissistic traits vs. clinically diagnosed Narcissistic Personality Disorder13:27 – Mislabeling every “toxic” partner waters down real red flags14:39 – The difference between emotional immaturity and narcissism16:00 – Grandiose vs. vulnerable (covert) narcissism explained17:59 – Why narcissists use martyrdom or emotional withdrawal to regain control18:33 – Questions to ask if you think you dated a narcissist19:51 – Owning your role in unhealthy dynamics20:45 – Gaslighting recovery: Rebuilding self-trust and clarity21:43 – How to speak your truth even after emotional invalidation22:32 – You don’t need a label to leave an unhealthy relationship23:14 – Outro

In this episode, Christina dives deep into the complex world of hookup culture, exposing the emotional toll behind the promise of "no strings attached" encounters.Episode highlights:🩵 Why casual sex might be leaving you feeling emptier than empowered🩵 How early exposure to sex can distort your relationship expectations🩵 The critical difference between being desired and being truly seenLet's connect:Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 - Intro03:04 - How Hookup Culture Sells a False Narrative05:19 - How Early Experiences Shape Sexual Perspectives07:15 - The Misconception of Physical Closeness09:18 - Why We Confuse Desire with Value12:00 - What Real Connection Actually Looks Like14:27 - Reflection Questions for Listeners

What really keeps a relationship strong? Spoiler: It’s not vacations, proposals, or grand romantic gestures. In this episode, Christina reveals the one thing that research shows sustains love in the long run: bids for connection.Listen now to learn what it means and how to recognize and respond to these small but powerful interactions that build lasting intimacy—and how ignoring them might be quietly eroding your connection.Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Let's connect:Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 – Intro01:37 – The real thing that sustains relationships: micro-moments02:41 – What are “bids for connection”? Explained with everyday examples04:28 – Client story: mistaking grand gestures for intimacy05:20 – Why grand gestures don’t guarantee real love06:44 – Real-life micro-moment examples from Christina’s marriage07:44 – Tiny repairs after conflict build trust08:55 – How helpfulness can become a powerful bid for connection09:17 – The erosion of love vs. the explosion: which one really ends relationships10:59 – Why we miss bids: phones, work, overwhelm, and emotional baggage11:39 – How to start recognizing and responding to bids13:01 – Reflection and journal prompt walkthrough14:08 – Final takeaway: The magic is in the moments14:25 – Outro and ways to connect online

Let's dive deep into the subtle yet powerful ways conditional love shows up in modern dating and how it may be sabotaging your relationships without you even knowing it. From “perfect girl” syndrome to confusing anxiety with chemistry, she breaks down how many of us learned early on that love must be earned, and how that belief plays out on Bumble, in our DMs, and even in long-term partnerships.Christina also shares vulnerable moments from her own life and client stories, illuminating the path to unconditional love: love that sees, holds, and accepts the real you—not the performance.This is your wake-up call to stop auditioning for love and start showing up as your whole, unfiltered self. Because if love feels like a prize you have to earn, it might be time to rewrite your script.Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast00:00 – Intro00:42 – Conditional vs. unconditional love01:25 – The invisible scorecard in dating02:21 – Swipe culture & performing for love03:31 – Self-help burnout & chasing "better"04:00 – Client afraid to express needs05:26 – “Perfect girl” syndrome05:42 – How childhood shaped your view of love08:20 – Anxiety vs. chemistry08:40 – What real unconditional love looks like09:26 – Personal stories of emotional safety11:08 – Love for who you are, not what you do12:09 – No fear of rejection = safe love13:18 – Masks vs. boundaries in relationships14:59 – Passion or panic?15:20 – Love is a birthright, not a prize16:05 – Spiritual source of unconditional love16:39 – Look for values, not performances18:04 – Conflict repair over perfection19:07 – Boundaries, needs, and being human20:13 – Journal prompts for reflection21:40 – Are you being chosen for you?22:23 – Subscribe, review, book a Clarity Call22:54 – Outro

Have you ever been in a relationship that looked great on the outside—but felt empty on the inside?In this episode, Christina dives into the quiet emotional detachment that happens long before a breakup. She explores why people start withholding sex, affection, or even updates about their lives—not as a form of punishment, but as a protective response when emotional needs are repeatedly unmet.Using Bravo stars Paige DeSorbo and Craig Conover as a timely pop culture case study, Christina breaks down how emotional withdrawal shows up in real life, why people stay in these situations longer than they should, and how your body often leaves a relationship before your voice ever does.If you’ve been walking on emotional eggshells, this episode is a must-listen.Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 – Introduction to “The Silent Drift”00:28 – Bravo reference: Paige DeSorbo and Craig Conover00:55 – The drift begins with silence, not fights01:31 – Withholding starts when safety is lost02:27 – Withholding ≠ punishment; it’s a defense mechanism03:05 – Core emotional needs and how they show up in relationships03:56 – When needs stop being met and fantasy replaces connection04:19 – Paige’s emotional withdrawal from Craig05:16 – Christina’s personal story: success, guilt, and staying too long06:02 – Your body leaves the relationship before your words do06:39 – Manifesting the dream, but living in anxiety06:58 – The external picture vs. the internal experience07:14 – When the nervous system knows before the mind does07:38 – A new season of life can reveal a partner’s true character08:10 – Paige needed support, not projection08:29 – External stress reveals cracks in emotional connection08:44 – Signs of drifting: fantasizing about being alone09:30 – Christina’s story: suburbia, disconnection, and the wrong life09:59 – “I’m tired” often means “I feel invisible”10:21 – Therapy and being seen in your relationship10:48 – Feeling invisible when your partner minimizes your success11:08 – Sex should be connection, not performance11:31 – Withholding information because “they won’t get it”12:02 – Real-life example: casual lies to avoid emotional presence12:34 – When you stop fighting because you’ve given up12:59 – Mentor story: “I left with nothing. I was so done.”13:28 – It’s not too late, but it is time to tell the truth13:46 – Could Paige and Craig have fixed it with emotional accountability?14:22 – Questions to ask yourself if you're in the drift14:36 – What happens when you speak up—and they don’t hear you15:24 – Paige’s emotional transformation shown through her confessionals15:43 – What are you protecting yourself from?15:58 – Why aren’t you protecting your feelings?16:15 – The version of yourself the relationship forced you to hide16:34 – Red flag: Your partner can’t afford a ring and makes it your problem16:51 – Relationship coaching and therapy: where the real work happens17:03 – You can’t build intimacy while suppressing your truth17:21 – It’s time to be honest: Are your needs continually minimized?17:36 – When you're in the drift and already emotionally gone17:59 – It's okay to leave. Even if it’s late. Even if it’s messy.18:30 – Listen to your body—it’s speaking for your silenced self18:46 – Share this episode with the friend who needs to hear it19:00 – Support the show: Subscribe, review, and follow19:16 – Outro

Let's dive into the psychology and spirituality of manifestation. But this isn’t your typical “script it and sip your green juice” advice. Christina blends therapeutic insight with real-life strategies for healing your nervous system, rewiring your beliefs, and becoming emotionally available to yourself first. Whether you're tired of breadcrumbing, ghosting, or repeating dating patterns, this episode will help you break the cycle and manifest the kind of love you truly deserve!Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 – Introduction01:03 – Christina’s story02:42 – Healing begins: therapy, journaling, and manifesting from the inside out03:34 – What she actually wrote in her journal05:09 – Why manifestation isn’t about scripting every detail of your future partner05:41 – You don’t attract what you want—you attract what you believe you deserve08:00 – The Reticular Activation System: your brain’s love GPS09:49 – Nervous system survival mode vs. calm, secure love11:56 – The first rule of real manifestation: emotional availability with yourself13:06 – Investing in love: the woman who paid $10k and got engaged15:17 – “You don’t have the headspace to love”—a tough truth from a client session16:26 – Drop the fantasy. Focus on mutual energy, clarity, and consistency17:27 – Gratitude shifts your vibration—and your dating outcomes18:48 – Living like the version of you who knows she’s worthy19:08 – Signs you’re truly ready to manifest a healthy relationship20:00 – How daily gratitude helps you attract real love21:05 – Final truth bomb: “You’re not being ignored—you’re filtering love through wounds”22:07 – Outro

Ever been praised for being “the total package”— beautiful, successful, easygoing—only to be ghosted the moment you show emotion or vulnerability? In this powerful episode, Christina Hathaway, marriage and family therapist and dating expert, breaks down the Dream Girl Wound— the pattern where high-achieving women are idolized for being perfect but abandoned when they act human.If you’ve felt like love only comes when you’re "on" and performing, this episode is for you. Christina explores the origins of this pattern, the pain it creates, and most importantly, how to heal from it so you can build real connection without hiding your truth. Listen now!Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 – Welcome to Dating Deja Vu00:11 – Are you always "the dream girl" until you show emotion?01:13 – The roots: Internal Family Systems & the protector role02:14 – What the dream girl archetype looks like in relationships03:29 – The moment vulnerability enters: and they vanish04:32 – Childhood roots: praised for perfection, not humanity05:32 – Showing up fully — and how that becomes a performance06:46 – Why letting your guard down feels like a gamble08:29 – The dopamine hit of love bombing vs. the pain of being real09:10 – Client story: praised, then dismissed for asking for consistency10:14 – #Step 1: Let go of the idea that love must be earned through perfection11:29 – #Step 2: Let your authenticity, vulnerability, and messy side show11:55 – #Step 3: Reconnect to your self-worth (beyond your image or performance)13:17 – #Step 4: Learn to disappoint people who only want the highlight reel13:47 – Doing the deeper work: parts work, compassion, curiosity15:13 – Use authenticity to screen for emotional maturity16:46 – Dream girl ≠ whole girl — own your full self17:36 – Even the most “perfect” women feel insecure18:05 – Share your story + how to work with Christina18:35 – Follow & subscribe on all platforms18:54 – Outro

Before you redownload dating apps or—worse—text your ex, ask yourself the question most people skip: "Am I truly ready to date again?"In this episode, we're going to talk about the often-ignored signs you're not ready to date—and what real readiness actually looks like. This isn't about blaming or shaming. It's about protecting your peace, rebuilding your foundation, and dating from a place of confidence and clarity instead of trauma and fear.Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 – Introduction01:20 – Don’t re-download the apps just yet—take a pause03:05 – Dating readiness = protection, not perfection04:12 – Why we rush to date and what monkey-branching really is05:25 – The importance of knowing who you are before dating06:35 – 6 signs you’re not ready to date begin06:47 – #1: You're afraid to express wants and needs09:04 – #2: You're afraid to ask the hard questions12:10 – #3: You notice red flags but stay anyway13:54 – #4: You attach fast and spiral often15:01 – #5: You're dating to prove something16:41 – #6: Your self-worth depends on their attention18:13 – What being ready to date actually looks like19:56 – Readiness = capacity (not perfection)20:45 – Recent client win21:30 – Outro

In this no-fluff, truth-bomb-packed episode, Christina dives into why some women keep attracting emotionally unavailable men and what it actually means to be a high-value woman.If you’ve ever been ghosted, breadcrumbed, or left wondering why he won’t commit, this one’s for you. Christina unpacks the difference between the “pick me” mindset and the self-rooted, magnetic energy of a whole-value woman.This episode is your permission slip to stop auditioning and start directing.Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 – Introduction01:18 – Pick me vs. high-value woman02:08 – Accepting crumbs = mistaking connection03:15 – Dropping standards to stay liked04:10 – The real issue: not being enough for you05:00 – Meredith Grey moment + pick me cringe06:26 – Rooted > rigid: setting real standards07:24 – Layaway vs. Buy Now energy08:05 – Christina’s dating story09:19 – Wholeness > neediness10:25 – Dating multiple men with integrity11:28 – Observe, don’t push12:06 – Plot twist: her now-partner said no12:36 – Walking away with self-worth13:24 – Consistency > chemistry14:29 – Covert pick me girl feels15:14 – You’re the director, not the auditionee15:50 – Outro

Is “perfect compatibility” keeping you single? In this episode, Christina dives into the myth of the "perfect partner" and why chasing a fantasy version of love may be sabotaging your chances of real connection.Christina shares personal stories, client examples, and professional insight to help you shift your mindset from unrealistic expectations to meaningful compatibility. Whether you're hypercritical on dating apps or constantly mistaking chemistry for chaos, this episode will help you reframe how you date and who you’re really looking for.Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 Intro01:20 The fantasy of perfect compatibility02:14 Codependency and filling emotional voids03:51 Rom-coms, social media, and curated perfection04:51 Real relationships require effort and repair05:49 How differences can create connection06:47 Love bombing and predators who prey on fantasy07:56 The problem with rigid non-negotiables09:06 Performing perfection to gain love10:52 Emotional safety and how it shows up12:27 Compatibility is built, not found13:14 Being too critical when swiping14:32 Confusing chemistry with anxiety15:41 What to look for instead: Values, maturity, communication17:39 Journal prompts to shift your mindset18:47 Final thoughts and coaching info19:22 Outro

Let's talk about the unconscious patterns that might be sabotaging your relationships in today's episode. It’s not about shame, it’s about ownership. From unspoken expectations to emotional hijacking and trauma-driven “gut feelings,” Christina walks you through the real reasons love might keep slipping through your fingers, and how to finally break the cycle.If you’ve ever said “they just don’t get me” or felt like you’re always the one chasing love that never lands, this one’s for you! Tune in now!Schedule a clarity call with me: https://link.optimafunnels.com/widget/bookings/tmom-clarity-call0b27p0Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast00:00 Intro01:30 It’s easy to point fingers, but what if it’s you repeating the same patterns?02:46 Stop expecting psychic partners: Love is built on communication, not energy reading04:24 Relationship red flag #1: Loving someone for their potential06:23 Red flag #2: Shutting down emotionally to control the narrative08:03 Red flag #3: Hijacking the emotional climate of the relationship09:09 Personal story: When love still protects toxicity11:08 Red flag #4: Mistaking anxiety for intuition14:10 Trauma vs. truth: How to know if your gut is real or reactive15:20 Red flag #5: Keeping a receipt of every mistake16:57 Red flag #6: Everyone knows your relationship drama—except your partner18:24 Are you unconsciously sabotaging intimacy by trying to protect yourself?19:55 The breakthrough: Loving with more responsibility20:35 Reflective questions to build emotional safety20:45 Coaching offers

Have you ever found yourself mid-fight about something small like the dishes, the thermostat, or a passing tone... wondering, how did we even get here?In this raw and revealing episode of Dating Déjà Vu, Christina breaks down the REAL reason you keep looping through the same arguments. Spoiler: it’s not about the damn dishes.We’re talking:Why your emotional cup is already full and what’s really spilling overHow your brain craves the relief after a fight more than the resolution itselfThe difference between true intimacy and emotional whiplashWhether you're single reflecting on past patterns or in a relationship that feels like a merry-go-round of conflict, this one’s for YOU. Christina shares not only the why behind your relationship déjà vu but also gives you tools to break free from the cycle and find peace without chaos.Let this episode be your wake-up call. You’re not broken. You’re just stuck in a story that’s ready to be rewritten.Hit play now!Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast00:00 Intro00:11 Fighting for relief, not resolution00:36 The same fights on repeat—why it happens01:08 Emotional themes in repeated arguments01:54 It’s not about the dishes02:07 The emotional cup and overflow03:24 Your reaction vs. the situation04:16 Personal example: Reactivity in marriage05:00 Addiction to crash and calm cycles06:02 Mistaking relief for resolution06:56 Creating calm without conflict08:12 Emotional whiplash and confusing it with love09:22 Highs and lows as a definition of love10:11 Rewiring your nervous system10:43 Reflection questions and rewiring patterns12:00 It’s really about the disconnect, not the dishes12:39 Meeting your own needs first13:10 Why sharing the episode matters13:22 Outro

In today’s episode, we’re flipping the script, we’re not talking about red flags. We’re talking GREEN FLAGS! The subtle, powerful signs of emotional safety, regulation, and genuine connection that most people overlook in favor of sparkly chaos. (Yes, chaos and chemistry are not the same thing.)This episode will have you rethinking every “boring” date you ever ghosted. Because real love isn’t about adrenaline—it’s about alignment.💬 Loved the episode? Let us know!Drop a comment, leave a review, or DM us your thoughts—we want to hear from the Deja Crew. Your feedback helps us grow and create more emotionally mature daters in the world!Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 Intr00:36 Red flags are everywhere, but what about the green ones?01:11 What healthy love actually feels like01:44 When a relationship feels “boring” but safe02:28 Regulation vs. emotional highs and lows02:48 Being yourself without walking on eggshells03:27 Understanding nervous system safety in relationships04:12 Green flag #1: They don’t get defensive05:24 Responding vs. reacting in communication06:07 Emotional maturity and creating safe feedback space06:26 Green flag #2: Vulnerability is safe in their hands07:55 They don’t use your feelings against you08:47 Reciprocating emotional safety09:37 Green flag #3: They comfort you without asking10:06 Emotional attunement and support10:56 Why kindness might feel “too nice” if you're not used to it11:26 Green flag #4: They don’t talk poorly about their ex12:13 Accountability and self-awareness in past relationships12:34 Green flag #5: Long-term friendships matter13:25 Friendships reflect attachment style14:24 Green flag #6: Playfulness and comfort being yourself15:42 When you’re called “too much” vs. being accepted16:13 Chemistry vs. chaos in dating history17:04 Real-life example of thoughtful support17:50 Relationships aren’t supposed to feel like hard work18:21 Important reflection questions to ask yourself18:55 Real love = alignment, not adrenaline19:17 Share the podcast and coaching offer20:12 Coaching vs. therapy20:54 Outro

You’ve heard the clichés: “Once a cheater, always a cheater” or “They just wanted sex.” But what if that’s not the full story?In this episode, Christina goes deep into the real reasons people cheat—from unresolved trauma and emotional neglect to ego crises, conflict avoidance, and unmet needs. Whether you’ve been betrayed, have cheated, or simply want to understand infidelity through a more human lens, this episode is a must-listen.Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 Cheating isn’t always about sex01:10 It’s more complex than just selfishness02:50 Some cheat because they feel unseen04:05 Childhood wounds can drive sabotage05:40 Identity loss can trigger infidelity06:54 Some avoid conflict by cheating08:05 Unspoken sexual needs create distance10:35 Cheating can mean disconnection from self12:45 Both guilt and shame follow cheating15:20 Healing takes honesty and effort17:00 Cheaters must reflect on their why19:20 Cheating shows deeper emotional disconnection

You say you have high standards. But is it really self-respect or self-sabotage in disguise?In this episode, you’ll learn how to tell the difference between standards that protect your peace and walls that block your connection. Christina dives into the origin of emotional walls, how hyper-independence masks emotional wounds, and how to open up to love without losing yourself.If you're constantly picking people apart, lonely but fiercely independent, or afraid others won’t approve of who you choose to love—this episode is your wake-up call.Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast00:00 Intro01:02 Standards or walls01:43 Christina’s checklist02:28 Healthy standards vs emotional walls03:15 Client examples04:31 Canceling and catching the ick05:12 Where walls come from07:17 Hyper-independence08:18 Boundaries vs walls09:06 Cost of emotional walls10:31 Their high standards hurt too12:06 Standards that aren’t yours13:05 Questions to ask14:08 Real boundaries vs armor15:09 Let them show up16:42 Pause before protection17:54 Your mantra18:10 Outro

Are you falling for potential instead of choosing a partner who’s ready to show up for love today?In this episode, Christina breaks down the hidden truth behind dating "fixer uppers." From childhood caretaking roles to modern-day overfunctioning, she reveals why some of us feel most alive in relationships where we are needed... but not necessarily valued.You’ll learn:✨ Why chemistry sometimes masks chaos✨ Signs you’re in a fixer dynamic (and calling it love)✨ What actually keeps you stuck in these relationships✨ How to choose partners who meet you where you areIf you’ve ever said “they just need someone to believe in them,” this one’s for you. Because love isn’t a renovation project—and you’re not a contractor.Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 Intro00:35 The fixer trap01:21 Childhood roots of caretaking03:33 Christina’s personal story04:38 The red flags you miss06:24 Chaos vs. chemistry07:43 Staying for the wrong reasons10:25 Dependency ≠ connection11:19 Afraid of healthy love12:21 How to break the pattern14:25 Ask this one question15:39 Self-love as the cure16:55 Final takeaway18:02 Closing mantra

If you're addicted to Love Is Blind and love dissecting dating dynamics through a therapist’s lens, this episode is for you.Christina Hathaway, licensed marriage and family therapist, is diving deep into the Minnesota edition of Love Is Blind Season 8—unpacking emotional red flags, toxic family ties, communication breakdowns, and the difference between compatibility and true connection.From Sarah and Ben’s values clash, to Dave and Lauren’s trust issues and enmeshed sibling drama, to the healthiest couple on the show (hello, Taylor and Daniel 👏), this episode breaks down what makes or breaks a relationship before and after the pods.👀 If your love life feels like a rerun—this episode will help you figure out whether it’s DejaVu… or it might be you.Subscribe, review, and share with your fellow Love Is Blind fans. Let’s raise the bar on what real love looks like.Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 Introduction01:00 Ben & Sarah: Values Clash & People-Pleasing08:50 Dave & Lauren: Trust Issues & Enmeshed Family Dynamics16:30 Joey & Monica: Sibling Sabotage & Emotional Guarding21:15 Christina’s Personal Story: Family Projection & Acceptance22:15 Taylor & Daniel: Secure Attachment & Healthy Communication28:35 Final Thoughts: Putting Yourself Out There29:21 Outro

If you’re tired of ghosting, breadcrumbing, or wasting your weekends on lackluster dates, this episode is your wake-up call!Dating and relationship expert, Christina Hathaway, shares the exact boundary-setting strategy (the viral “3x3x3x3 Rule”) to help you date smarter, stop attracting emotionally unavailable partners, and protect your time, energy, and heart.In this episode, you'll learn how to:✅ Spot dating red flags before the first date✅ Stop trauma bonding through oversharing✅ Avoid breadcrumbing and online pen pals✅ Use boundaries as your dating filter (not just your safety net)✅ Attract emotionally available partners who match your energyThis is the guide every single woman needs before opening another dating app. If you're burnt out, anxious, or repeating the same toxic dating patterns — it might feel like déjà vu… but it also might be you!Hit play now!Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 Intro00:30 Why people ignore red flags in dating00:48 How online dating sets you up to fail01:12 The 3x3x3x3 boundary rule explained02:13 Attraction is not compatibility03:01 You don’t owe anyone a reply03:36 How to set messaging boundaries04:20 Vet your date before meeting05:00 Ask about values and non-negotiables06:02 Questions to ask before going on a date06:31 First date safety rules07:44 Transitioning from app to real life08:34 In-person boundaries still matter09:16 You don’t owe anyone a second date10:06 How they handle “no” is a red flag12:00 Emotional access must be earned13:48 Sex as a false sense of control16:37 Recap of the 3x3x3x3 dating method18:08 Dating should not feel exhausting18:53 Final takeaway on boundaries

Do you find yourself pushing people away just when things start to feel real? Do you pick fights, ghost, or suddenly lose interest? If so, you might be caught in the cycle of self-sabotage when it comes to love.In this episode, Christina breaks down why we sabotage relationships, from fear of abandonment to hyper-independence, low self-worth, and even addiction to the chase. She helps you recognize these patterns and, most importantly, teaches you how to stop repeating them.Tune in to uncover what’s really behind your self-sabotaging behaviors and learn how to finally break free from dating déjà vu. Because maybe, just maybe… it’s not déjà vu—it’s you.💡 If this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend and don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe!Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 Intro00:10 Why We Self-Sabotage In Love01:22 Common Reasons For Self-Sabotage01:53 Fear Of Abandonment03:08 Fear Of Losing Independence05:17 Low Self-Worth07:21 Addiction To The Chase08:31 How Self-Sabotage Plays Out In Dating08:47 Picking Fights Over Small Things10:49 Hyper-Focusing On Small Flaws12:15 Testing Your Partner14:26 Pulling Away When Things Get Good14:59 Falling For Unavailable People17:12 How To Stop Self-Sabotaging17:28 Get Honest With Yourself19:06 Recognizing Patterns Early19:36 Communicate Even When It’s Uncomfortable21:12 Reframe What Love Actually Is22:05 Coaching Therapy And Self-Work22:46 Writing Down Your Patterns23:36 Reflecting On Past Relationships24:04 Final Challenge And Closing Remarks24:39 Outro

Saying "I love you" is easy, but does it truly land? In this episode, Christina explores how love is communicated through words and actions, shares her personal experience of waiting a year to hear those three little words from her now-husband, and offers insight into recognizing love even when it’s not spoken aloud.She breaks down the importance of love languages, how to know if someone truly loves you, and why actions often speak louder than words. Whether you're navigating new love or deepening an existing relationship, this episode will help you understand how love is shown, felt, and received.🔔 Don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and book a clarity call with Christina if you're ready to transform your dating and relationship patterns!Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 – Intro00:41 – Christina shares her personal story about love and actions01:34 – The importance of saying "I love you" with meaning02:35 – The difference between feeling loved and just hearing the words03:49 – Saying "I love you" intentionally and in meaningful moments05:03 – Understanding and speaking your partner’s love language07:07 – Showing love through actions, not just words09:31 – The importance of listening and validating feelings10:22 – Small daily actions that demonstrate love11:12 – Choosing your partner every day through effort and commitment12:17 – Questions to ask yourself: Are you truly feeling loved?13:26 – The impact of past experiences on how we receive love15:09 – Love happens on different timelines—why patience matters17:21 – Client success story and the power of self-work in relationships17:50 – Outro

In this DeJa View episode, we're diving into the relationship dynamics of your favorite reality TV couples. From Shep and Sienna (Southern Charm) to Joe Bradley and Maddi Reese (Southern Hospitality) and Jesse Solomon and Lexi (Summer House), we're breaking down the love addict/love avoidant cycles, boundary issues, and the patterns that keep people stuck in unhealthy relationships.Ever felt like your dating life is stuck on repeat? It might be DeJa Vu... but it also might be you. Let's figure it out together!👉 Don’t forget to subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and share with a friend who needs a reality check in their love life!Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 – Intro00:23 – Shep & Sienna (Southern Charm): Avoidance, Love Addiction & Fantasy Vs. Reality03:08 – Shep’s Relationship History & Emotional Avoidance06:59 – Signs That Sienna Isn’t Into Shep & His Fantasy Thinking09:11 – The Love Avoidant Vs. Love Addict Dynamic12:02 – Why People Struggle To Accept Reality In Relationships13:19 – Jesse & Lexi (Summer House): Love Bombing & Shiny Object Syndrome15:53 – How Rushing A Relationship Creates Problems17:35 – The 3-3-3-3 Dating Method & Setting Early Boundaries19:40 – Why Open Communication Is Key In Early Dating20:34 – Joe & Maddie (Southern Hospitality): A Healthy Approach To Boundaries22:26 – The Difference Between Pushing & Respecting Boundaries In A Relationship24:05 – The Importance Of Speaking Your Truth In Relationships25:28 – Final Thoughts & Takeaways On Reality TV Dating Patterns25:43 – Subscribe, Review & Follow On Socials

Let's talk about the outdated dating rules we need to leave behind! From “the guy should always text first” to “playing hard to get actually works,” Christina unpacks where these tropes come from, why they’re problematic, and whether they deserve a spot in modern dating.Are opposites really the key to lasting love? Does jealousy mean someone actually cares? Christina challenges these old-school ideas and offers a fresh, intentional approach to dating based on communication, mutual effort, and shared values.Ready to stop playing games and start dating with purpose? Tune in for a reality check on the rules that are keeping you stuck in dating déjà vu.Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 Intro01:12 The most overrated and toxic dating rules01:35 The guy should always text first02:03 Where this rule comes from02:41 Why this rule is problematic03:29 Taking control of your dating life04:34 Why people still defend this rule05:11 Verdict: Cancel it – mutual effort matters05:42 Playing hard to get works07:56 The psychology behind this strategy08:38 Why playing hard to get attracts the wrong people09:22 The difference between pacing and playing games10:04 Verdict: Modify it – flirting is fine, games are not10:32 Opposites attract11:15 How movies and pop culture reinforce this trope12:14 The difference between chemistry and compatibility13:46 Why shared values matter more than differences13:58 Verdict: Modify it – opposites can attract, but compatibility keeps you together14:39 If they’re not jealous, they don’t care15:13 How jealousy is mistaken for passion16:14 The difference between insecurity and love17:25 Personal story on handling jealousy in dating17:50 Verdict: Cancel it – security is what we want18:11 Final takeaways – the dating rules to cancel and modify18:30 What actually works in modern dating18:50 Where to follow and work with Christina19:05 Outro

Why is it so hard to move on from a toxic ex?! From emotional addiction and trauma bonding to the justifications we tell ourselves, Christina unpacks the hidden forces keeping you stuck and gives you actionable strategies to break free.If you're ready to stop the emotional yo-yo and attract the love you truly deserve, this episode is for you!Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 Intro01:44 The psychological hold of toxic relationships03:06 Emotional addiction and the cycle of highs and lows05:50 Trauma bonding and its impact on relationships08:23 The what-if trap and why we romanticize the past09:21 Common lies we tell ourselves to stay in toxic relationships10:46 The truth about closure and why you don’t need it12:32 How manipulators exploit your weaknesses13:47 Why the intensity wasn’t love but emotional turbulence14:48 How nostalgia keeps you stuck in the past16:45 Reality reframe and how to break free17:14 The no-contact rule and why it’s non-negotiable18:17 Shifting the mindset from losing them to reclaiming you19:45 How to fully break free and heal20:45 Detoxing your mind and reframing the fantasy21:54 The inner work needed to stop repeating toxic patterns23:41 Shifting the focus back to yourself and rebuilding your identity24:34 The real healing happens when you become someone new25:24 Outro

Have you ever wondered why you keep ending up in the same kind of relationships—one person craving closeness, the other pulling away? It’s not just bad luck—it’s a cycle.In this episode, I’m breaking down the Love Addict & Love Avoidant cycle—a dynamic that explains why some people chase love while others run from it. Based on Pia Mellody’s post-induction therapy model, this framework will blow your mind as you start seeing patterns in your own dating history.💡 What You’ll Learn:✔️ What a love addict is and why their biggest fear is abandonment✔️ What a love avoidant is and why intimacy makes them feel suffocated✔️ The cycle that keeps these two types attracting each other (and ending in chaos)✔️ How childhood trauma and unmet emotional needs shape these patterns✔️ What to do if you recognize yourself in this dynamicIf your relationships feel like déjà vu, it might not be a coincidence—it might be you. Let’s figure it out together.Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 Intro00:10 Introduction to the love avoidant, love addict cycle00:22 Recognizing relationship patterns and self-awareness00:43 Pia Melody’s post-induction therapy model explained01:14 The Meadows and its influence on relationship dynamics02:06 The love addiction cycle and its connection to attachment styles02:21 Explanation of the love addict’s greatest fear and trauma response03:17 Unrealistic expectations and emotional highs in love addiction03:48 Childhood neglect and its role in love addiction05:02 The cycle of clinginess, fear of abandonment, and resentment06:24 The love addict’s struggle with facing reality08:16 Emotional withdrawal, obsession, and attempts to regain attention09:16 The repetitive cycle of seeking new partners for validation10:11 The impact of love addiction on dating behavior12:04 Steps to heal from love addiction and develop self-worth12:36 Introduction to the love avoidant and their core fears13:30 How love avoidants feel overwhelmed by intimacy15:02 Personal story of developing love avoidance tendencies16:22 Love avoidance and detachment strategies18:25 How avoidants cope by turning to external distractions19:05 The love avoidant’s cycle of duty, resentment, and withdrawal21:19 Healing love avoidance by learning to ask for help24:09 The push-pull dynamic between love addicts and love avoidants26:15 Recognizing triggers and working towards conscious awareness26:55 Coaching and support options for breaking these patterns27:56 Outro

Welcome to the very first Dating DejaVIEW episode! In this series, host Christina Hathaway dives into the relationship dynamics of reality TV couples—analyzing attachment styles, emotional patterns, and the psychology behind love, heartbreak, and everything in between.In this episode, Christina takes a deep dive into:✨ Mauricio and Kyle’s separation—what went wrong?✨ Lindsay and Carl’s whirlwind romance and breakup on Summer House✨ Paige and Craig’s long-distance love story and what their relationship teaches us about commitment fearsWhether you're a reality TV fan or looking to reflect on your own dating patterns, this episode is packed with insights, humor, and real talk on love and relationships.💡 Follow Dating Deja Vu for more deep dives into dating patterns, relationship psychology, and personal growth. Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review!👉 It might be déjà vu… but it also might be YOU!Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 Intro01:18 Mauricio and Kyle’s separation and financial issues02:41 Relationship insecurities and prioritization in marriage04:26 Empty nester syndrome and brushing issues under the rug05:50 Fame, money, and relationship struggles in reality tv06:43 Lindsay and Carl's relationship history07:35 Lindsay’s attachment style and relationship patterns08:42 Monkey branching and love addiction tendencies10:39 Carl’s sobriety and its impact on relationships12:23 The importance of healing before serious commitment14:20 Lindsay’s pregnancy and fast-moving relationships15:47 Using relationships to avoid emotional pain17:20 Paige and Craig long-distance relationship19:53 Commitment fears and the illusion of stability21:26 Mixed signals in relationships and fear of commitment24:55 When people-pleasing delays a breakup26:14 Outro

We're flipping the script! While red flags get all the attention, today we’re focusing on the green ones—the signs of a strong, stable, and fulfilling relationship. From emotional safety and consistency to healthy communication and genuine investment, we break down the key traits that make love last. If healthy relationships have ever felt "boring" or unfamiliar, this episode will help you recognize and embrace the qualities that truly matter. Tune in and learn how to spot (and embody) the green flags that lead to real connection!Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 Intro00:25 Focusing on positives instead of red flags01:30 Green flags may feel unexciting but are important02:30 Dysfunction can feel like passion when it’s all you know03:31 Emotional stability as a green flag04:15 The importance of emotional safety in relationships05:06 Identifying emotional safety early in dating06:43 Consistency over time in relationships07:51 Love is about showing up over time08:34 Healthy and direct communication10:52 Communicating needs in a relationship11:37 Genuine interest and investment in a partner12:48 Small acts that show care and effort14:10 Following through on green flags14:34 Healthy relationships may feel slow or uncomfortable at first15:38 Avoiding self-sabotage in healthy relationships16:32 Recognizing your own patterns and reactions17:19 Giving consistency a chance18:06 Communicating your needs clearly19:24 Ensuring you also have green flags in yourself20:10 Overcoming the "nice but boring" perception20:27 Outro

In this episode, we're diving into the four toxic behaviors that can predict relationship failure with 90% accuracy. Known as the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, these behaviors can slowly break down trust, intimacy, and emotional safety in a relationship.Whether you're dating or in a long-term relationship, this episode will give you actionable strategies to improve communication, resolve conflict in a healthy way, and build a stronger, more connected partnership.Tune in now and take the first step toward healthier, happier relationships! Don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and follow Dating Déjà Vu on Instagram and YouTube for more relationship insights.Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 Intro01:03 Research-backed relationship failure indicators01:31 Introduction to the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse01:42 Origin of the Four Horsemen concept02:14 How arguing style predicts relationship outcomes02:53 The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, Stonewalling03:32 Breaking down how these behaviors damage relationships03:45 Criticism: Attacking character instead of issues04:44 Antidote to Criticism: Gentle Startup07:17 Contempt: The most toxic behavior09:04 Antidote to Contempt: Building appreciation12:16 Defensiveness: Shifting blame and avoiding responsibility13:27 Antidote to Defensiveness: Taking partial responsibility15:04 Stonewalling: Emotional withdrawal and shutting down16:04 Antidote to Stonewalling: Self-soothing and communication17:52 Recognizing personal patterns and triggers19:52 Small changes can shift relationship dynamics21:14 The importance of effective conflict resolution22:05 Outro

Love is in the air… but you don’t need a relationship to breathe it in.Happy (early) Valentine’s Day! Whether you’re single, in a situationship, or just figuring things out, today doesn’t have to be a day of dread. In this episode, we’re talking about how to reframe the day from being “Singles Awareness Day” to a celebration of love in all its forms—self-love, friendships, family, and even your pets! From creating your own traditions to planning a self-love date, we’re covering all the ways to make this day fun and fulfilling.Plus, if you’re in the early stages of dating or a situationship, Christina shares the best way to navigate the awkwardness of Valentine’s Day without overthinking it.Listen in for empowering ideas, self-care rituals, and a reminder that love starts with YOU. 💕Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 Intro00:40 What not to do when you’re single on Valentine’s Day01:01 Reframing Valentine’s Day01:44 Understanding self-love03:05 Shifting from lack to gratitude03:53 Creating a Valentine’s Day ritual just for you04:50 Ideas for a solo Valentine’s Day celebration06:15 The power of a self-love date07:10 Making Valentine’s Day a friendship holiday08:40 Sending messages of appreciation instead of dwelling on loneliness08:58 Navigating Valentine’s Day in a situationship or early dating10:12 The litmus test12:19 Ranking single activities from empowering to desperate13:10 How to make the most of Valentine's Day14:52 Outro

Valentine’s Day is almost here, and if you’re single, you might be tempted to fall into the same old traps—doom scrolling, texting your ex, or making last-minute desperate dating decisions. But not this year!In this episode, we'll walk you through self-sabotaging behaviors, toxic relationship nostalgia, and why social media comparison is not the move. Whether you're embracing solo plans or finding ways to reframe your mindset, this episode will help you break the cycle and make Valentine’s Day work for you—not against you.Hit play and let’s make this year different—because it might feel like déjà vu, but it also might be you!Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 Intro00:20 Recognizing dating patterns00:59 The single person Valentine's Day spiral01:16 Avoiding the self-sabotage trap01:27 Understanding self-sabotage and its impact01:39 Emotional consequences of self-sabotage01:55 Identifying negative beliefs about being single02:05 Reframing negative thoughts02:19 How thoughts lead to behaviors02:29 Doom scrolling and comparison traps02:41 Why social media makes you feel worse02:52 Muting people on social media03:01 Taking a social media break03:10 Recognizing unhealthy behaviors03:26 Replaying past relationships03:38 Romanticizing an ex03:49 Forgetting why you broke up04:01 Why you shouldn’t text your ex04:21 Fantasy vs. reality in relationships04:34 Seeing singlehood as an opportunity04:56 How being single can be positive05:10 The myth of relationships defining worth05:23 Social creatures and the need for connection05:34 Why being single is not failure05:51 How your mindset shapes behavior06:19 The importance of self-reflection06:32 Learning from past relationships06:44 Avoiding familiar but unhealthy patterns07:07 Letting go of what’s holding you back07:19 Self-worth is not tied to a relationship07:35 Examples of happy singles and unhappy couples07:51 Avoiding desperate dating decisions08:10 Why you shouldn't date just to avoid loneliness08:23 Texting casual flings for Valentine's Day plans08:41 Why loneliness is not a reason to date09:03 Embracing solo experiences09:20 Why you should not text your ex09:36 How nostalgia tricks you09:55 Why checking on an ex is a bad idea10:11 The facts about your past relationship10:29 Distracting yourself from texting your ex10:46 The dangers of social media comparison11:02 Social media is a highlight reel11:14 Why cute Instagram posts don’t mean healthy relationships11:32 Understanding the reality behind perfect-looking couples11:44 Examples from personal experience12:05 The argument behind a happy social media post12:20 Emotional spending as a coping mechanism12:36 The risk of impulse shopping12:54 Avoiding drastic changes like haircuts or diets13:12 Avoiding extreme fitness or diet reactions13:30 Respecting your body instead of punishing it13:47 Why crash diets won’t fix your emotions14:50 Avoiding toxic positivity15:04 Why forced fun isn’t necessary15:20 Acknowledging Valentine's Day without overreacting15:38 How to move through the day mindfully15:53 Self-sabotage recap16:09 Cute vs. cringe segment16:22 Texting your ex on Valentine's Day—cringe16:34 Buying yourself flowers—cute16:47 Going on a last-minute first date—cringe17:00 Posting dramatic self-love messages—depends17:16 Ordering a heart-shaped pizza—cute17:40 Re-downloading dating apps in a panic—cringe17:53 Having a Galentine’s night—cute18:10 Buying a gift from your dog—depends18:27 Going on a solo fancy dinner—depends18:55 Posting throwback relationship pics—cringe19:37 Asking for listener contributions19:47 Preview of next episode19:58 Outro

Do you date a type? In today's episode, we're talking about why you keep falling for the same kind of person, what’s driving those attractions, and how to break the cycle. If your relationships feel like reruns, it’s time to ask: is it fate, bad luck… or is it you? Tune in now!Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 Intro00:41 How To Share This Episode Without Offending00:53 Subscribe And Leave A Review01:17 The Idea Of Having A Type02:02 Attraction Feels Random But Isn’t02:20 Patterns In The People You Date02:40 Childhood Influences Attraction03:29 Is Your Type A Choice Or Shaped By The Past04:01 Society’s Role In Defining A Type04:18 Personal Preferences And Dating Lists04:49 What We Want vs. What We Attract05:11 Subconscious Attraction To Familiarity05:28 Chaos And Predictability In Relationships06:31 Why We Are Attracted To Avoidant Types06:42 Emotional Inconsistency In Parents07:44 Distance And Emotional Unavailability08:33 The Impact Of Childhood Emotional Neglect09:05 The Fixer Or Caretaker Type09:20 Feeling Needed In A Relationship10:18 Growing Up With Emotionally Distant Parents12:03 The Chaos Conductor And Passion Addiction12:19 Mistaking Intensity For Love13:49 Emotional Addiction To Chaos15:14 The Critic And Controlling Partner15:46 Signs Of A Controlling Relationship17:07 Highly Critical Parents And Conditional Love18:22 Seeking External Validation In Relationships19:18 The Fantasy Chaser And Long-Distance Attraction20:24 Equating Longing With Love21:49 Patterns That Lead To Dating Unavailable People22:37 How To Break The Cycle22:51 Identifying Common Themes In Past Relationships23:59 Seeking Validation vs. Seeking Security25:12 Growth And Healthy Relationship Dynamics26:29 Personal Example Of Breaking Old Patterns28:51 Identifying Core Emotional Needs29:26 Redefining Attraction And Healthy Love31:17 Practical Exercises For Conscious Dating33:17 Reflection On Whether Your Type Helps You Grow33:42 Preview Of Upcoming Podcast Topics33:55 Final Thoughts And How To Stay Connected

If you've ever experienced the heartache of someone disappearing without a word, been strung along with false hope, or been swept up in an intense but short-lived romance, this episode is for you. We're breaking down what these terms really mean, how to spot them, and most importantly, how to protect yourself from falling victim to them. Join me as we navigate the complexities of modern relationships and equip you with the tools to safeguard your heart! Let's connect: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast

For our first full episode, join Christina as she breaks down the 10 biggest dating patterns that keep you choosing the wrong person—again and again. No sugarcoating, just straight talk. So, is it them, or is it you? If you're ready to break the cycle and finally rewrite your love story, let’s get into it! Let's connect: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast Timestamps: 00:00 Intro00:10 Recognizing Relationship Patterns00:25 Introduction to Episode Topic00:39 Host Introduction and Coaching Background00:48 Overview of Dating Patterns00:59 Why We Attract Certain Partners01:16 Understanding Relationship Patterns01:32 Influence of Upbringing on Relationships01:45 Defining Trauma in Relationships02:11 How Trauma Shapes Self-Perception02:26 The Role of Attachment in Dating02:54 How Parents Influence Attachment Styles03:06 Early Family Experiences and Emotional Regulation03:18 Impact of a Parent’s Struggles on Childhood03:31 Caretaking Behaviors in Childhood03:47 How Childhood Patterns Show Up in Dating04:07 Recognizing and Breaking Unhealthy Patterns04:23 The Security of Familiar Relationship Patterns04:45 Dating Emotionally Unavailable Partners05:10 The One-Sided Nature of Emotional Unavailability05:24 The Fear of Expressing Needs in Relationships05:49 The Fixer-Upper Pattern in Dating06:15 Trying to Change a Partner06:47 How Upbringing Affects Partner Selection07:10 Mistaking Intensity for Love07:29 The Cycle of Highs and Lows in Toxic Relationships07:45 The Impact of Chaotic Childhoods on Dating08:12 Why Unstable Relationships Feel Normal08:24 The Addiction to Drama in Relationships08:42 Choosing Partners Who Mirror Personal Issues09:06 Prioritizing Chemistry Over Compatibility09:27 The Pitfalls of Physical Attraction Over Shared Values09:50 The Role of Emotional Maturity in Relationships10:15 The Fear of Being Alone10:45 How Overdependence Leads to Unhealthy Relationships11:18 Ignoring Red Flags in Early Dating Stages11:45 Justifying Problematic Behaviors12:19 Creating Trauma Bonds in Relationships12:42 The Love Addict and Love Avoidant Cycle13:02 How Trauma Bonds Reinforce Negative Patterns13:14 Overprioritizing Others' Needs in Relationships13:48 The People-Pleasing Trap in Dating14:19 The Struggles of Setting Boundaries14:57 Seeking External Validation Through Partners15:11 The Trophy Partner Mentality15:29 The Importance of Finding Genuine Connection15:48 How Societal Standards Influence Partner Choices16:18 Overcoming Relationship Patterns16:54 Recognizing Your Own Role in Dating Struggles17:19 Introduction to Reality TV Relationship Analysis17:34 Encouragement to Subscribe and Follow17:53 Closing

Are you stuck in a dating loop, always attracting the same type of partner—bad boys, emotionally unavailable women, or just plain chaos? Dating Déjà Vu is here to help you break the cycle. Hosted by Christina Hathaway, a marriage and family therapist and relationship expert, this podcast dives deep into the patterns that keep you stuck, the psychology behind attraction, and how to finally rewrite your love story. If you're ready to stop swiping right on the same mistakes and start building real, lasting connections, this is the podcast for you! Comment below what dating or relationship topics you would like to hear about in our future episodes! Let's connect: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcast ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Timestamps: 00:00 Intro00:22 Host Introduction00:41 Background in Marriage and Family Therapy00:56 Podcast Goals and Topics01:12 Listener Participation and Call-Ins01:23 Education and Career Background01:37 Coaching Programs and Podcast Mention01:50 Personal Journey with Dating02:07 Family Background and Early Influences02:21 Mother’s Emotional Regulation Challenges02:35 Caretaking Patterns in Childhood02:46 Connection to Dating Behaviors03:04 Buying Affection and Seeking Validation03:22 Understanding Parents’ Impact on Relationships03:39 Moving to Arizona and Social Struggles03:56 Early Romantic Relationships and Caretaking04:16 High School Dating Experiences04:41 College Insecurity and Friend Comparisons04:57 Trust Issues in Dating05:10 Developing Self-Worth Narratives05:27 Acting on Insecurities in Relationships05:45 The Fixer-Upper Dating Pattern06:00 Past Dating Mistakes and Reflections06:18 Recognizing Toxic Patterns06:36 The Cycle of Relationship Mistakes06:50 Financial and Emotional Investments in Partners07:13 Graduate School Struggles and Relationship Burdens07:28 Rock Bottom and Self-Realization07:43 Dating Younger Partners and Unhealthy Dynamics07:55 Recognizing Personal Contributions to Relationship Failures08:12 Working in Child Crimes and Emotional Impact08:26 Relationship Breakdowns and Self-Sabotage08:44 Personal Growth and Self-Discovery09:01 Self-Reflection and Podcast Tagline Explanation09:29 Acting on Self-Worth Beliefs09:46 Understanding Relationship Patterns and Behaviors10:01 Seeking Validation vs. Genuine Security10:18 Spiritual Growth and Self-Acceptance10:34 Healing Journey and Setting Boundaries10:49 Personal Transformation and Dating Changes11:07 Meeting Husband on Tinder11:18 The Reality of Healthy Relationships11:33 Introducing Reality TV Relationship Analysis11:49 Early Stages of Husband’s Relationship12:06 Choosing Security Over Excitement12:19 Recognizing Unhealthy Dating Patterns12:34 Reframing Perspectives on Stability in Relationships12:55 Dating Boundaries and Self-Respect13:09 Breakup and Moving On13:27 Recognizing the Importance of Self-Worth13:46 The Tinder Dating Experience14:06 Running Into Future Husband Again14:20 Second First Date and Reconnection14:37 Developing a Healthy Relationship Dynamic14:59 Building a Secure and Loving Relationship15:14 Importance of Mutual Choice in Love15:47 Relationship with Self and Wellness Coaching16:02 Self-Worth and Relationship Success16:17 Connecting Personal Development to Dating16:30 Recognizing Healthy Love When It Appears16:46 First Full Episode Preview – Relationship Patterns17:04 Podcast Subscription and Social Media Promotion17:19 Reality TV Relationship Segment Naming17:34 Closing