From Hardship to Hope

Thanks for joining us for today's episode!You can subscribe to Haddasah's blog at https://onthewaybg.com/ or find her on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/hadassahtreu/ and on FB at https://www.facebook.com/onthewaybg/.Click here to listen to our previous discussion about loneliness (Season 2).If you'd like to reach out to Tammy about life/mental health coaching or chat about inner healing prayer, follow this Calendly link to schedule a free 20-minute session. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

Nuggets of Wisdom* “It all comes down to the fact that I am a redeemed, transformed…woman.”* “When you tell your story, there is something that happens in your healing.”* “God can come in and change [your] story.”* “Let others help you.”* “Surround yourself with worship.”* “Don’t listen to the lies of the Enemy.”* “Hold the hem of Jesus—hold it tight.”Author BioMischelle Saunders-Gottsch is the Founder/CEO of Altered Stories Ministry and Podcast Host of the Altered Stories Show. She is the author of “The Story Within You: The Healing Power of Your Story” a 30 day healing memoir devotional.Mischelle is a wife, mother to her adult daughter, Gigi, dog mom, speaker, ministry and business leader and is passionate about helping women everywhere share their God stories to help women overcome their struggles.The call on her life to help women share their authentic stories stems from her experience of emotional healing that resulted when sharing her childhood cult survival story with others and seeing how her story affected those who heard it.Mischelle highly enjoys serving in Women’s Ministry volunteer roles and facilitates Altered Stories Ministry Women at the Well: Our Stories, Our Songs luncheon events. She has spoken at several women’s events and retreats and has taught several Bible Studies through Altered Stories Ministry and at her former churches. She has been part of several women’s organizations throughout her career and served on the Women of Compassion’s leadership team while working at Compassion International in Colorado Springs, Colorado. While serving on this team, her global vision for Altered Stories Ministry began.You can reach Mischelle on her website, on Facebook, on the Altered Stories podcast, and on all the other social media platforms mentioned in today’s episode. Or, purchase a copy of Michelle’s book, The Story Within You: The Healing Power of Your Story 30 Devotions. Schedule Your FREE Life, Mental Health, or Inner Healing Prayer Consult Today!Healed from the pain of an abusive childhood and familiar with the struggles of parenting children with mental health struggles, Tammy understands that there are times each of us needs someone who can help us bear the weight of heartache. Together, we’ll seek healing at the feet of Jesus. Schedule your free consult today! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

Nuggets of Wisdom“All of a sudden, I recognized that God had a battle plan for my dad. And it wasn’t the battle plan that I had. It wasn’t the way I thought things were going to work.”“The Lord was there, and he was saying, ‘I am going to fight for him to the end. I’m standing at the door, and I’m knocking.’”“I had to just trust Jesus.”“We have to be very careful that we’re exercising smart boundaries.”“Sometimes I get it backwards, and I don’t do it right.”“We are all a miracle every day. When we wake up and have breath in our lungs, we are a miracle. We take it so for granted.”Author BioDawn Ward is an author, speaker, Bible teacher, and a certified biblical life coach. She is the founder of The Faith to Flourish, a ministry offering support and encouragement to women with addicted loved ones. The ministry also equips all women of faith to live transformed lives through inspiring teachings, mentoring, and biblical resources. She is married to Steve and mom to three adult children. Her book, From Guilt to Grace: Hope and Healing for Christian Moms of Addicted Children, published September 2024, is now available.You can connect with Dawn at:FacebookInstagramLinkedInRecommendations and ResourcesFrom Guilt to Grace: Hope and Healing for Christian Moms of Addicted ChildrenStrategies for Overcoming Loneliness in Tough Seasons (From Hardship to Hope) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

Nuggets of Wisdom* “I found key times throughout the day to give myself permission to grieve.”* “Lean into Jesus. Lean into the grief and let myself feel.”* “Express what you’re feeling.”* “Ask for help.”* “Pray. Pray, pray, pray.”* “Surrender it all to Jesus.”* “People may hurt us, but people also help heal us.”About the AuthorAmy Robnik Joob is an award-winning author, certified life coach, and empowerment speaker. Amy is commissioning pioneers through her Arise and Flourish and Arising Author coaching programs.Amy has weathered her own grief storm along with her family and relocated to southwest Florida recently after decades of living in Chicagoland. Her mission is to bring hope and healing to others and see them fulfill their God-given destiny!Amy’s newest book, Arise from Grief & Flourish Again, launched in the Fall of 2025 and went to #1 on Amazon as a Best-Seller and Hot New Release.Visit Amazon to order a copy of Arise From Grief & Flourish Again—or, listen to it on Kindle. You can contact Amy at [email protected] or connect with her on Instagram, FB, or LinkedIn.As always, feel free to reach out to Tammy with your prayer requests or for more information about life/mental health coaching or inner healing prayer at [email protected]. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

Nuggets of Wisdom * “I needed mature Christian women around me to say, “I love you. I am sorry. This is really hard.”* “The enemy thought he was going to derail me. And God was like, ‘I will not waste this.’ “* “I try to make sure that rather than going into spiritual mother mode...(I ask) how can I love you in this season?”* “Pray and ask the Lord to give you wisdom on who is safe community.”* “God has always been faithful to show me His nearness.”* “I believe that hope is active. I can stare at my circumstances, or I can gaze at God.”* “God invites us to participate and hope—even when we’re going through heavy things.”About the AuthorAmy Eaton is an author, speaker, and encourager whose work centers on helping women find hope in Christ through life’s hardest seasons. Her book, Hope When It’s Heavy, offers a gentle, honest walk through suffering anchored in God’s faithfulness. With experience in ministry, psychology, and human resources, Amy brings insight and authenticity to conversations on spiritual resilience, emotional health, and trusting God in the everyday.You can connect with Amy at amyeatonauthor.com, or at @amyeatonauthor on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTokBe sure to pick up your copy of Amy’s book, Hope When It’s Heavy. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

“Sometimes you just need those sweet little truths. Those sweet little, one-sentence Bible verses.”“It’s a mental battle—dividing that line between what I’m feeling and what is fact.”“While our emotions and our feelings can often give us insight to what is going on inside of us, they are not the truth to hold onto.”“Those feelings are real, but they aren’t reliable.”“God is not going to mess up His plan.”“There is great peace and rest knowing someone else has control of this.”About the AuthorYou can order Valerie’s book, Beneath the Hood, on Amazon. Or, follow her on Instagram. What about today’s episode impacted you? What is one practical step will you take today that will help you, a friend, or family member? Reach out and let Tammy know at [email protected]. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

Nuggets of Wisdom “He doesn’t give us grace in advance of what we’re going to need. He gives us grace for today. Grace for the moment.”“I realized there was a huge connection between joy and purpose in suffering.”“Whatever you’re going through—even a terminal illness—you can trust the One who died for you.”“My focus was, ‘Alright, Lord, how are you going to use this?”“That conversation brought Job to the point where even if he didn’t know the purpose, He knew the God of purpose.”“There are no lone rangers in the body of Christ. We’re connected.”“I’m going to trust You no matter the outcome. I purpose to trust You.”“There’s always a deeper level of intimacy.”“That doesn’t mean we walk through life plastering on a fake smile and pretending everything’s wonderful. We have to be real with each other.”Don’t miss our next episode of From Hardship to Hope!Connect with AvaAva Pennington is an author, speaker, freelance editor, and certified coach. Her newest book is Flourish: Grace-Centered Practices to Protect and Grow a Fruitful Life in Christ (Kregel). Other books include Reflections on the Names of God (Revell) and 2 children’s books. She has written for Christian periodicals and contributed to 30+ Chicken Soup for the Soul books. Ava also teaches a weekly Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) class of 200+ women and is an inspirational speaker. Learn more at www.AvaPennington.com.Or, follow Ava on Facebook, X, or Instagram. You can also find a copy of her beautiful book on Amazon. Join Tammy on From Hardship to Hope in two weeks when she speaks with author, Valerie Fentress, about managing post-partum depression. I am praying this episode ministered to your heart.Peace and grace,TammyThanks for listening! Please share this episode if you know of someone who might benefit from its message. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

Nuggets of Wisdom“The Lord taught me to begin to relinquish that dream to Him so that He could replace that dream with a better dream, a better plan, or he could affirm and confirm that was his dream for me.”“As we begin to ask the Lord, ‘In my pain, God, will you use me to bring joy and encouragement to others?’ That is not a prayer He will overlook.”“I began to see there was something in this journey. This barren season could bring joy.”“Ian helped others bridge this issue of racial reconciliation. It’s been a beautiful thing to witness.”“You are good, and what You do is good.” (Psalm 119:68)“When we praise in the midst of pain, it’s our ladder out of despair.”“It brings some sort of joy and peace to the journey of pain when you can see you are actually being used to help others walk through their own.”Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe to receive more hope in your inbox. Connect with MaureenMaureen Miller is an award-winning author with stories in numerous collaboratives. She contributes to Guideposts’ All God’s Creatures, her local newspaper, and several online devotion sites. Married for thirty-six years to her childhood sweetheart Bill, they live on Selah Farm, a hobby homestead nestled in the mountains of western North Carolina. She blogs at Windows and Wallflowers (maureenmillerauthor.com)—telling of God’s extraordinary character in the ordinary of life. Her debut novel, Gideon’s Book, is now available.Thanks for listening to today’s episode. If you need someone to pray with you, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Remember to subscribe so you don’t miss any upcoming episodes or author updates, freebies, and hope-filled words.Peace and grace,Tammy This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

Nuggets of Wisdom* “The only one that can fix us is the One that created us.”* “Do we keep fighting to save it, or do we cut the loss and go forward clean?”* “Don’t be afraid. We gotcha. You’re going to be okay.”* “Joy isn’t circumstantial. Joy is a heart attitude or heart posture.”* “Anchor into what is never gonna move. And the only thing that never changes—ever, ever—is Jesus.”Author BioSheila Preston Fitzgerald is alive today only by the Grace of God. A near-death motorcycle accident that should have taken her life, instead, filled this godly woman with a passion larger than life itself. Sheila’s love of people, love of life, and most importantly her love for Jesus, radiates in all she does. Sheila is the author of “One Foot in Heaven”; the miraculous true story of finding hope in the hopeless, and a new devotional book series, “Foot Notes ~ Adventures With Jesus.” She has appeared on numerous TV, video, and podcast shows shining the light of Jesus around the world. You can connect with Sheila at http://www.sheilaprestonfitzgerald.com/ or pick up a copy of One Foot in Heaven. Sign Up for a Free 30-Minute Coaching CallAre you struggling with difficult circumstances? A strained relationship? Anxiety or burnout? Schedule a free, 30-minute coaching call with Tammy. Dually trained as a life and mental health coach, Tammy specializes in inner healing prayer and loves walking alongside women in their journeys. She combines faith-based guidance and personalized support to help you achieve lasting change.Peace and grace,Tammy This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

Nuggets of Wisdom* You can have confidence while shaking in your boots.* if we’re fearful, he will meet us in those fears, too.* Look for the doors of opportunity.Bible Study PDFDeborah Rutherford is a poet, author, and podcaster dedicated to sharing hope and encouragement. She speaks from the experience of being a redeemed prodigal daughter, using her life as a vibrant testament to God’s unwavering love and transformative grace. Deborah is also an award-winning makeup artist and the voice behind the Behold-Her Beauty Podcast and the author of Unexpected Blessings:40 Days of Discovering God’s Best and the new poetry collection Prodigal Daughter: Poems of Light for the Lost Ones (The Way Back Books 2025). When she’s not writing, she loves being a wife to Don, singing old hymns, and taking long walks in nature.LINKS:https://deborahrutherford.comhttps://www.instagram.com/deborahrutherfordwrites/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

Nuggets of Wisdom* Esther teaches us what to WEAR to a crisis—Working with othersEradicating the (spiritual) EnemyActing wiselyRemembering who you are* If He has a plan, He provides.* The B in bold reminds me to be on the lookout.O means being open to whatever is in your hand.The L in bold means to let the Holy Spirit lead.The D means to put down any lies of the Devil.Author BioMarlene Houk is an author, speaker, and teacher who merged her strong background in church training with a degree in ministry to pursue a study of women in the Bible and for more than ten years she has read, researched, and analyzed their multifaceted stories and their messages to us.Connect with Marlene Houk* Website* [email protected]* 30 Essentials for Emotional Resilience (Affiliate Link) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

Nuggets of Wisdom* God's Word and His promises became the anchor and the things I stood on in themiddle of the battle.* It was a spiritual battle.The enemy comes to seek, kill and destroy.And that was my aha moment—when I realized I wasn't fighting against my children. I was fighting against a spiritual battle.* The key essential weapon is prayer.* It's the blood of Christ that can change everything.* God chose you,whether you adopted that child or whether it is your child by birth,that you are a steward of God's masterpiece.* I had to learn a new level of surrender.in my own life to God.Laine Lawson CraftIntroducing Laine Lawson Craft—best-selling, award-winning author, TV, and podcast host based in sunny Fort Walton Beach, Florida. More than a devoted wife and mom, she’s a powerhouse of hope, turning life’s impossible into breathtaking realities. Her newest book, Warfare Parenting: A Daily Battle Plan to Fight for Your Child, is a 365-day comprehensive daily devotional that combines scriptural insights, practical guidance, and powerful prayers to equip parents in their spiritual battle for their children’s lives. Each daily reading offers hope, inspiration, and Biblical strategies, helping parents maintain their faith and strength while navigating challenges, including substance abuse, legal troubles, rebellion, and faith struggles. Written by bestselling author, winner of the 2023 Nonfiction Book of the Year with her book, The Parent’s Battle Plan: Warfare Strategies to Win Back Your Prodigal, and a top-rated podcast host of the Warfare Parenting Podcast in the top 10% globally, all of these resources draw from both Biblical wisdom and personal experience.Emerging from a near-collapsed marriage and financial hardship, Laine understands firsthand the transformative power of faith. Her real-life victories over spiritual warfare resonate, turning her into a magnet for parents seeking guidance and solace.In her highly acclaimed book, “The Parent’s Battle Plan: Warfare Strategies to Win Back Your Prodigal,” Laine lays bare her spiritual toolkit that brought her own prodigal children back to the fold. The book recently clinched the prestigious 2023 Nonfiction Book of the Year Golden Scroll Award, adding to her growing list of accolades like CAN Awards, Illumination Awards, and being a Selah Award Finalist.Connect with Laine* Website-https://lainelawsoncraft.com/* Warfare Parenting Freebie* Warfare Parenting:A Daily Battle Plan to Fight for Your Child – Comfort for the Parent of a Rebellious Child (Laine Lawson Craft)Is your child on a prodigal journey? I keep an ongoing list of those who’ve wandered off the path or don’t yet know the Lord. Feel free to share your loved one’s first name if you’d like me to keep them in my prayers. I would be honored.Peace and grace,TammyP.S. I strive to offer encouragement, biblical truth, and hope to women navigating life’s challenges. At times, I may share books, products, or resources through affiliate links if I believe they are worth your time and investment.If you choose to purchase through one of these links, I may earn a (teeny-tiny) commission at no additional cost to you. I will never promote a book or resource that made me think, “meh.” This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

Companion Bible Study for Today’s EpisodeScripture Reading PlanCalled for This Moment-Living Your Esther SeasonNuggets of Wisdom* It's going to be different, but there is a whole second act. This is a time to look back at what you did well...and move into your next thing.* What are you going to do to build the Kingdom now?* I heard the Lord speak in my spirit. He said three words, "Am I enough?" I heard Him say, "I Am." And at that moment, the burden lifted. I remember saying, "Lord, if You don't give me one more thing in my life, You are enough.* Pray. Pray. Pray. That's our best weapon.* Don't be afraid of what God may have for you.* It's not an empty nest. It can be an empty next.* The impossible is God's comfort zone.* Figure out what the next thing is and then step into it with courage.About Kate BattestelliKate Battestelli is an author, speaker, podcaster, and former actress from the Broadway theatre world. Her heart’s passion is to equip you to walk into your unique hand-picked destiny, trust Jesus with your future, and give you the courage to move fully into your next chapter.Connect with Kate Kate’s website or Instagram account.The After Party of the Empty NestMy Utmost for His HighestWhat does your Esther season look like right now? How can I pray for you?Until next time,TammyP.S. Don’t miss this month’s fabulous book bundle giveaway! Enter by August 30th.P.P.S. I strive to offer encouragement, biblical truth, and hope to women navigating life’s challenges. At times, I may share books, products, or resources through affiliate links if I believe they are worth your time and investment.If you choose to purchase through one of these links, I may earn a (teeny-tiny) commission at no additional cost to you. I will never promote a book or resource that made me think, “meh.” This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

Nuggets of Wisdom* Esther models what it means to lead with discernment.* Influence is not always loud.* Printable Scripture Plan and Journaling Prompts This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

That's my prayer for you.You are positioned on purpose for such a time as this.Maybe this is your Esther moment,and maybe this season will be what gives you courage to say yes.We invite you to subscribe and share this podcast with a friend who needs it.Perhaps journal through Esther for this week.Pray about where God might be calling you to act in faith.So thank you for joining me.I'm Tammy Kennington, and this is From Hardship to Hope.Until next time, keep holding on to His promises.Download your free printable scripture reading plan and journaling prompts. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

Download one month’s worth of free prayer prompts. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

Click the link and let me know how I can come alongside you in future seasons, articles, and posts.https://tammykennington.substack.com/i/161934271/how-can-i-come-alongside-youPeace and grace,Tammy This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

Have you lost a loved one? Do you long for the sound of their laugh? The inside jokes? Moments only shared by the two of you? Whether you know the pain of losing a beloved spouse, child, parent, or other precious one, you know the loneliness the loss of that dear one’s presence creates. Today’s guest understands your heartache and offers practical strategies to help you manage, cope, and move ahead. International author and speaker Haddasah Treu shares about her painful experience with loneliness after the unexpected loss of her husband and how her faith in the Lord gave her hope and direction.Listen in to hear more of her story.Nuggets of Wisdom * I needed human presence.* Connect to the Lord, connect with people, and engage in meaningful and joyful activities.* I still don’t have the answers, but I have peace.* Healing is a messy process.* We need the empathy of someone. We don’t need solutions or answers.* Every one of us should take responsibility for…his or her own thoughts, our own feelings, our own decisions, and not make somebody else responsible for our well being or our happiness.* Turn to the Lord…He’s our life and He’s the source of life.More About HadassahHadassah Treu is an award-winning international author of "DRAW NEAR: How Painful Experiences Become the Birthplace of Blessings," freelance writer, poet, speaker, and motivator, living in Bulgaria. She loves encouraging people to draw near to God in the dark valleys of life. From the platform of her greatest pains equipped with lessons gathered on the way, she delivers a powerful message of comfort and hope, found in God’s Word.Hadassah is a contributing author to several faith-based platforms like Proverbs 31 Compel Blog, and 13 devotional and poetry anthologies. She has been featured in The Upper Room, (In)Courage, Proverbs 31 Ministries, Today's Christian Living, Living by Design Ministries, and many other popular sites and podcasts. Read a chapter for free from Hadassah's book here.LINKSWebsite:https://onthewaybg.com/Join my community:https://subscribepage.io/joinmycommunityFacebook:https://www.facebook.com/onthewaybg/X:https://x.com/onthewaybgPinterest:https://www.pinterest.at/onthewaybg/YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@hadassahtreu-authorMedium:https://medium.com/@hadassah.treuAmazon:https://www.amazon.com/Treu-Hadassah/Draw Near Book:https://a.co/d/gWfmBE3Gumroad Shop: https://hadassahtreu.gumroad.com/Draw Near This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

(00:00:02):If you're thinking you'll always be stuck in loneliness,(00:00:05):I have an amazing guest who shares practical steps you can take today to help you cope,(00:00:12):overcome,(00:00:12):and draw closer to God.(00:00:15):I'm talking about the lovely Julia Fisk,(00:00:18):nationally board-certified health and wellness coach,(00:00:20):functional medicine-certified health coach,(00:00:23):award-winning author,(00:00:24):podcaster,(00:00:26):speaker,(00:00:26):and creator of the Dear Food program.(00:00:29):I'm so glad you're joining us today.(00:00:58):Bye.(00:01:05):Well, Julia, welcome.(00:01:06):I'm so excited to have you join us here on From Hardship to Hope today.(00:01:10):I can't wait for the listeners to hear from you and all you have to share.(00:01:17):Would you tell us a little bit about what role your faith has played in helping you(00:01:22):navigate feelings of loneliness and how others can lean on their faith in similar circumstances?(00:01:30):Yes, hi.(00:01:30):Well, it's so great to be here today.(00:01:32):And my faith is everything for me when it comes to loneliness.(00:01:37):I love the Lord Jesus.(00:01:39):I have loved Jesus since I was five years old.(00:01:41):And so one of the verses that has meant something to me from a child,(00:01:46):even till now,(00:01:48):is in Matthew 28,(00:01:50):20,(00:01:50):when he said,(00:01:50):Lo,(00:01:51):I am with you always,(00:01:52):even to the end of the age.(00:01:54):And I would cling to that in lonely moments as a youth.(00:01:57):And(00:01:57):a teenager and in college and as a young mom,(00:02:02):just knowing that Jesus is alive and he loves me and he is with me and he promised(00:02:07):to be with me always and forever.(00:02:10):So being able to cling to that is an amazing gift as a child of God.(00:02:16):What a beautiful verse to remind ourselves of the love he has for us.(00:02:23):Would you share a little bit from your story about a specific moment or season in(00:02:28):your life when you felt the most isolated?(00:02:34):Well, I have had several moments in my life where I've felt isolated.(00:02:40):When I think about it, I think that I can be isolated for different reasons.(00:02:45):So sometimes I'm isolated because I'm physically stranded in a place with no one(00:02:51):around and I can't get community.(00:02:54):And I remember this so well when I was a new mom and my husband and I adopted twins(00:03:01):who were born at 26 and a half weeks and(00:03:04):And all of a sudden,(00:03:06):we got the call that we were chosen to be parents for these beautiful twin girls.(00:03:13):And we went to the hospital and learned that there was a very traumatic situation(00:03:20):with their birth and that everything was fine,(00:03:24):but they weren't eating.(00:03:26):And so we ended up putting some G-tubes into their bellies before we left the(00:03:32):hospital because they didn't eat.(00:03:34):And we went home, and we were at home with new twins, and we were gavage feeding them.(00:03:42):You put an open tube, and then you pour the milk into their stomach.(00:03:46):So we had this whole setup for being able to feed the girls, but they also were throwing up.(00:03:52):And RSV was going around that year, so we couldn't have anybody over.(00:03:58):So my husband and I were very isolated at home with this very difficult situation.(00:04:04):challenging and new situation and i remember one of my friends walked in the door(00:04:09):to say hi and encourage me look at the situation we had plastic on the floor(00:04:15):because they were vomiting and and we were feeding them and we were crazy and i(00:04:19):don't think i had slept in weeks and um i'm exaggerating i had slept a little bit(00:04:25):but and she just she looked she took one look and she walked out(00:04:30):it wasn't something that she could process at all.(00:04:34):And that can happen,(00:04:35):right,(00:04:36):when we're in a really,(00:04:37):really traumatic,(00:04:38):stressful situation of the death of a loved one or a sickness diagnosis,(00:04:43):or in my case,(00:04:45):you know,(00:04:45):care for special needs babies.(00:04:48):Like people around us, some friends can stay and some friends just can't.(00:04:53):And that's okay.(00:04:53):That's their journey.(00:04:55):And we accept that.(00:04:56):But(00:04:56):what do we do when we're so isolated?(00:04:59):And so my husband and I were together in this, but my friends had kind of disappeared.(00:05:08):There were a few that were able to help now and then,(00:05:10):and they would come over and let me take a nap,(00:05:13):and I'm so thankful to them.(00:05:15):And what I did was I prayed for God to give me(00:05:19):some help and some support.(00:05:21):I asked him, I begged him.(00:05:23):And this is what I love about the Lord.(00:05:25):When we ask him for help and we go to him and ask for ideas or resources or something,(00:05:32):anything,(00:05:33):Lord,(00:05:33):and let me see it.(00:05:34):Let me see that it's you.(00:05:36):He gave me the idea to go to local NICUs and post a paper that I needed an in-home nurse.(00:05:43):And I thought, well, that's(00:05:46):kind of a simple answer, but Lord, could that really work?(00:05:49):I did.(00:05:52):I walked over to the local NICU and I asked them if they would post a handwritten(00:05:59):note that I made on their cork board and(00:06:02):And we got a call.(00:06:04):And I'm telling you,(00:06:05):my husband says to this day,(00:06:07):if she hadn't cashed our checks,(00:06:09):we were sure she's an angel.(00:06:11):This woman was amazing.(00:06:15):And she was obviously able to handle two at once because that was a challenge that we had.(00:06:19):She had medical training for emergencies.(00:06:22):And my husband and I got to sleep.(00:06:24):And we got to talk and go out on a date.(00:06:26):And she was amazing.(00:06:28):So(00:06:30):We have to figure out like, what are we lonely for?(00:06:34):What's the cause of our loneliness?(00:06:36):Because it could be different things.(00:06:38):And then go to scripture for comfort and then ask God,(00:06:41):hey,(00:06:42):can you help me find a solution for this?(00:06:44):Because I'm out of ideas and I feel bad.(00:06:47):That's one thing about loneliness is when we're in the midst of it, we're(00:06:51):We just feel horrible and tired and drained and out of energy.(00:06:57):And it's hard to muster up what we need to solve our problem.(00:07:01):But God is available to help us and solve our problem.(00:07:05):And he can do, oh, my grace is sufficient for you.(00:07:08):My power is made perfect in weakness, right?(00:07:10):That Bible verse is so beautiful.(00:07:13):And he shows up in loneliness to prove that that's true.(00:07:18):Oh, my goodness.(00:07:19):I love that.(00:07:19):I can relate to that a little bit.(00:07:22):Our daughter was a preemie as well, and she needed surgery.(00:07:27):Yeah, yeah.(00:07:29):And so we did have to feed her through a tube for quite some time as well.(00:07:33):I can only imagine what that would be like with two little ones who need all of that attention.(00:07:40):Yeah.(00:07:42):When your friends,(00:07:44):some were able to help and some weren't,(00:07:47):were you able to reconnect with those who were unable to just come alongside you(00:07:53):during that time?(00:07:54):Or did that interrupt relationship for you?(00:08:01):Well, that's a very, very important thing.(00:08:07):Because loneliness can be a cycle if we don't regularly practice forgiveness.(00:08:13):And I'm not talking about boundaries.(00:08:15):Like there are people who we need to have boundaries with and they are unsafe to(00:08:19):have a relationship with.(00:08:21):But friends who we love, who love us, they have a capacity.(00:08:27):We all have a capacity to handle certain types of problems.(00:08:30):They have time constraints.(00:08:32):And they have their own busy schedules and lives.(00:08:38):And sometimes we just can't be the priority.(00:08:40):So in a situation like that,(00:08:42):where it's a friend who just maybe failed or couldn't,(00:08:46):forgiveness is vitally important.(00:08:49):And so I will...(00:08:51):actively forgive people for not being able to meet my needs and understand that,(00:08:59):hey,(00:08:59):you know,(00:09:00):they have their own needs too.(00:09:01):And so I have been able to reconnect and just move ahead knowing that(00:09:08):We're all human.(00:09:10):And,(00:09:10):you know,(00:09:10):there have been times in my life where I have been able to walk with someone(00:09:15):through something really,(00:09:16):really,(00:09:17):really hard.(00:09:18):And there have been times where I just can't because my heart is hurting and we(00:09:23):don't know what they're going through and if they actually have the ability to(00:09:28):emotionally take on my huge thing,(00:09:30):right?(00:09:31):So, yeah, that's rough.(00:09:34):But(00:09:35):I do think that in a healthy relationship,(00:09:37):friendship,(00:09:38):family relationship,(00:09:40):forgiveness plays a part in loneliness and banishing loneliness because we're(00:09:45):renewing relationships and we are growing together regardless of each other's imperfections,(00:09:52):flaws,(00:09:52):and failures.(00:09:54):I think that's really beautiful because there are definitely times where we each(00:09:58):have more capacity.(00:10:01):I'm so focused on my own struggle or pain that I forget what someone else might be(00:10:06):walking through and they just may not have that room in their lives to help me in(00:10:11):my own struggle during that time.(00:10:14):Yeah, I mean, you're in survival mode.(00:10:16):And in survival mode, there's a lot of panic.(00:10:18):There's a lot of stress.(00:10:20):There's a lot of exhaustion.(00:10:21):There's so many things.(00:10:23):And I'm not sure if my friend is also in survival mode for another area because I'm(00:10:28):really not also not there for her right now because I'm totally focused on me.(00:10:33):So it's okay.(00:10:35):Yeah.(00:10:36):What was amazing to me is who the Lord brought into my life.(00:10:41):Sometimes it was a surprise.(00:10:42):I'm like, oh, hello.(00:10:44):Oh, aren't you a miracle today?(00:10:47):So you're just being open to who the Lord does bring.(00:10:50):I love that.(00:10:52):What an incredible idea he gave you.(00:10:54):What a gift to have somebody come into your life like that.(00:10:59):Yeah, the Lord is amazing.(00:11:02):He is.(00:11:02):He's so good.(00:11:04):So how can women in the Christian community support each other when they're dealing(00:11:10):with loneliness or when they think someone else might be or they themselves are?(00:11:16):One thing that I've noticed,(00:11:17):and maybe you've had this experience too,(00:11:19):is that sometimes I don't know my friend was lonely until after she had resolved(00:11:25):the problem.(00:11:26):And I think, oh my goodness, I'm your friend.(00:11:31):I would have been there.(00:11:32):I would have come and sat with you.(00:11:34):But she just didn't ever call and didn't know who to call.(00:11:40):And so my thought is that when we're lonely,(00:11:44):part of our responsibility and what we need to do is tell people that we're lonely.(00:11:49):We don't have to tell everybody.(00:11:51):And I think that like a post on Facebook,(00:11:55):it's not enough because we'll get a comment,(00:11:57):but we aren't necessarily going to get the care that we need.(00:12:00):But I'm more talking about a one-on-one phone call to people who you think could be(00:12:06):very helpful and encouraging and(00:12:09):pray for you.(00:12:11):So I think the first thing is,(00:12:13):as the lonely person,(00:12:14):we can reach out and say,(00:12:16):hey,(00:12:17):my dear friend,(00:12:18):I am feeling so lonely right now.(00:12:21):And then in terms of being the person on the other end of that phone call,(00:12:26):what can we do,(00:12:27):right?(00:12:27):Because we don't really know, we can't necessarily solve loneliness.(00:12:33):So for someone else.(00:12:35):But what we can do is we can maybe give them some suggestions.(00:12:39):Hey, can I come and sit with you?(00:12:41):Do you want to go to a movie?(00:12:44):Do you and I think exploring with our friends.(00:12:49):What are you lonely for?(00:12:53):What's the cause of the loneliness?(00:12:55):So we may be lonely for, our friend may be lonely for different things.(00:13:00):They might be lonely for a spouse.(00:13:03):They might be lonely for a fun community group.(00:13:07):You know, they might be lonely for children that they don't have.(00:13:10):So what are they lonely for?(00:13:12):And then what's the cause?(00:13:14):Is the cause of the loneliness infertility?(00:13:18):Is the cause of the loneliness that a spouse left?(00:13:22):Is the cause of the loneliness isolation?(00:13:25):I just can't get out.(00:13:26):And then once we start to dig in with our friend and really listen to what's going(00:13:31):on exactly,(00:13:32):what the loneliness is,(00:13:35):Pray about kind of what the cause is.(00:13:39):And then I would highly recommend at this point to pause on giving suggestions(00:13:47):because our suggestion might work for us,(00:13:51):but it might not work for them.(00:13:52):I remember when I was so lonely with the girls,(00:13:55):people would say,(00:13:55):why don't you just go to the store?(00:13:57):Why don't you just go to the park?(00:14:00):And I remember...(00:14:02):Those four words,(00:14:03):why don't you just,(00:14:05):became so frustrating to me because I couldn't just do anything.(00:14:11):I had two babies.(00:14:12):I couldn't just go to the store.(00:14:14):Shopping carts aren't made for that.(00:14:16):So what I would say is next step would be praying together and asking God what he(00:14:24):thinks might be some great solutions.(00:14:26):And then asking your friend, hey, as you're praying, what more can I do to help you?(00:14:32):And so we can definitely step into a person one-on-one and help them.(00:14:40):Ask help one-on-one so we can still be alone in a big group.(00:14:45):But one-on-one is a great way.(00:14:48):I mean, how often have we had no friends and then we got one friend?(00:14:52):We're like, this is amazing.(00:14:56):And we can just be that one friend and then work towards a place of how you doing?(00:15:03):Did you find something?(00:15:04):Oh,(00:15:04):another great thing to do is if our friend is lonely and they want to go do something,(00:15:11):to go with them just as a wingman.(00:15:16):and say, hey, I'll go with you.(00:15:17):I have a funny story.(00:15:19):I really wanted to sort of get out and do something new.(00:15:23):So I picked up the ukulele and I started to practice the ukulele at home.(00:15:29):And I was really enjoying it.(00:15:31):And then I discovered that there is a ukulele club really close to my house.(00:15:35):And I would love to get involved with other people doing a hobby.(00:15:39):One of the things that I do is I tend to eat when I'm lonely.(00:15:43):And I have identified overeating as an unhealthy thing.(00:15:48):loneliness salve.(00:15:50):So I try to find something to do with my hands when I'm lonely.(00:15:54):So I pick up the ukulele and I go to this local ukulele club.(00:15:58):Walking into that ukulele club by myself was really, really hard.(00:16:03):And I just really wanted to do it.(00:16:07):But going there by myself was hard.(00:16:10):And so maybe it would be great just as a thought if your friend was lonely and(00:16:15):wanted to do something like a ukulele club or(00:16:18):I don't know, whatever they wanted to do.(00:16:20):Just go with them.(00:16:21):Say, hey, I'll go with you.(00:16:23):And that way you don't have to walk in alone.(00:16:25):Maybe you won't ever do ukulele as a hobby,(00:16:27):but at least for the first time would take some of the edge off.(00:16:32):You've got my mind spinning because I wanted to play guitar for years and I have(00:16:36):had it sitting in the corner for a long time.(00:16:38):I've only gotten as far as jingle bells.(00:16:42):So maybe I need a guitar club.(00:16:45):I love that idea.(00:16:46):A wingman.(00:16:47):These are such rich, practical tips.(00:16:52):I love them.(00:16:54):So how do you balance your need for personal solitude and reflection with the(00:16:59):importance of being in community?(00:17:03):That's interesting.(00:17:05):I am right on the border of introvert extroverts.(00:17:09):I think technically I'm an, but I recharge like an introvert.(00:17:14):So I need solitude, but I dread loneliness.(00:17:20):So there's two very, very different things.(00:17:26):We can become so busy, right?(00:17:28):We're so busy that we're lonely and we have no solitude.(00:17:31):Like we need both.(00:17:33):I do tackle loneliness intentionally.(00:17:38):And by going to ukulele clubs or getting to church,(00:17:42):even when I'm tired,(00:17:43):you know,(00:17:43):things like that.(00:17:45):And I do treasure solitude.(00:17:48):So solitude for me mostly is just me and God.(00:17:52):And I will, I have a place and I think a place is important.(00:17:57):That's what my, because this is what I discovered during COVID.(00:18:01):I had a place of solitude with the Lord in my home.(00:18:04):And when COVID hit, like everybody was home and my place of solitude had disappeared.(00:18:09):And then I was like, what do I do?(00:18:11):I'm not having any solitude.(00:18:12):It was then that I realized maybe a specific location regularly that I enjoy for(00:18:19):solitude matters.(00:18:21):And so I discovered another place that I really like and it works out for me.(00:18:25):So I have that place and I have a time that I regularly try to get alone time with the Lord.(00:18:30):I read the Bible.(00:18:31):I pray and listen.(00:18:34):I try to do a lot of listening to see if the Lord has anything for me for the day.(00:18:40):I do think we need that time.(00:18:43):And in fact,(00:18:44):one of the types of loneliness that I've been reading about is existential loneliness.(00:18:49):It makes me wonder how much are people missing God because in our busyness and in(00:18:57):this world,(00:18:58):we really have to deliberately choose him as well.(00:19:04):Is there anything else you'd like to share that we haven't talked about today?(00:19:11):Well,(00:19:11):I would say that when we identify an emotion that is really powerful and painful,(00:19:22):like loneliness,(00:19:24):sometimes we don't realize that we are using harmful,(00:19:29):comforting behaviors.(00:19:31):So my encouragement would be to figure out healthy emotions(00:19:38):behaviors that increase community and increase friendship and just that real heart(00:19:49):need for having someone in our life who cares about us and listens with healthy(00:19:56):choices and healthy options.(00:19:58):So for me, I found out that mine was food.(00:20:02):I was trying to solve my loneliness with food differently.(00:20:07):Loneliness can cause us to go in any number of different directions to solve it.(00:20:11):So really back to the solitude and talking to the Lord about, hey, I'm really lonely.(00:20:17):And I know you were with me forever until the end of the age, but I still feel lonely.(00:20:23):What can I do that's healthy and helpful for my life to resolve this and work(00:20:29):towards those things?(00:20:30):Our flesh and our body may want one thing, may say, go here.(00:20:35):But our spirit is really what needs to be mended.(00:20:39):And so what are the spiritual things that can help us fix and mend and heal and grow?(00:20:49):ourselves in community with friendship and love.(00:20:53):And that can be a little bit harder to discover.(00:20:56):It can be a little bit more challenging to do.(00:20:59):But hey, even though it's hard, it's so worth it.(00:21:02):And it's long lasting.(00:21:04):It's meaningful.(00:21:05):And it can be so beautiful.(00:21:07):Who knows what we'll discover on our way to finding healthy solutions to loneliness.(00:21:13):There's a big, huge world out there.(00:21:16):And the Lord(00:21:18):knows what we know.(00:21:19):He also knows what we don't know.(00:21:21):He can do exceedingly more than we could ever ask or imagine.(00:21:25):And he can do that in loneliness.(00:21:27):So I'm so excited that he's done that for me.(00:21:32):And I know that he can do that for your listener.(00:21:35):Oh, amen to that.(00:21:36):Yes, Julia, I love it.(00:21:38):And I know so many of the listeners are going to want to find you.(00:21:43):And would you just share a little bit about where they can meet with you and(00:21:48):definitely mention your book.(00:21:51):The title is so amazing.(00:21:52):And please just share a little bit about that so they can reach out.(00:21:57):Yeah, I would love to talk to someone who's struggling with loneliness.(00:22:02):And you can find me at onesteptowellness.com.(00:22:07):On the website, I've got a circle.(00:22:09):I have a community called the Dear Food Circle.(00:22:12):My book is called Dear Food, I Love You, I Hate You, Don't Leave Me.(00:22:16):It's a three-workbook series.(00:22:19):And actually,(00:22:20):the Leader Guide is coming out on March 4th,(00:22:22):so it'll be four books,(00:22:26):March 4th,(00:22:27):2025.(00:22:28):And so I am there, and I'm on the community for Circle.(00:22:33):I love this platform because I can actually have live rooms with the people who are(00:22:39):going through the program and who want to talk to me.(00:22:42):So I'm a big...(00:22:45):big fan of talking and having community and letting others know where we are so(00:22:51):we've got a post board for victories and we've got a post board for failures and oh(00:22:57):my goodness the people that come in to support and gather around the people who are(00:23:02):feeling like they failed or they're not it's really beautiful so(00:23:08):That's what I'm up to.(00:23:09):And I would love to see you guys there.(00:23:12):Please hop over and visit with Julia.(00:23:15):I will plug all of the links and information about your books and where to find you(00:23:22):in the episode notes.(00:23:25):And Julia,(00:23:25):thank you so much for joining me today and for sharing your heart and your wisdom(00:23:31):and so many practical strategies that we can all use when we struggle with(00:23:35):loneliness because it is a human experience.(00:23:39):Oh, thank you for having me and God bless you guys.(00:23:59):Lord, I lift up each listener today, not knowing individual circumstances.(00:24:04):But Lord, you know exactly what each woman needs.(00:24:10):And so God,(00:24:11):I just ask that each woman struggling with loneliness today,(00:24:16):that she would know,(00:24:19):as Julia said,(00:24:20):that you are with her even until the end of the age,(00:24:25):Father.(00:24:26):And I pray that as she seeks you and asks you for solutions, that you would provide them.(00:24:33):God,(00:24:33):that you would meet her in the place of loneliness,(00:24:37):just as you met with each person in Scripture who dealt with loneliness.(00:24:43):Whether we're talking about Elijah,(00:24:46):Lord,(00:24:46):who was alone by the creek,(00:24:49):you met him and gave him bread to eat.(00:24:53):Lord Jesus.(00:24:54):You met with Moses in the desert, Lord, and he heard your small, still voice.(00:25:02):And so whether we need physical sustenance,(00:25:05):Lord,(00:25:06):spiritual food,(00:25:09):or relationship with other people,(00:25:11):God,(00:25:11):I pray that you would be that provider.(00:25:14):And God, I just ask, Lord, that each woman would turn to you(00:25:21):and that you would be the salve that she needs for her soul.(00:25:25):In Jesus' precious and powerful name, amen.(00:25:29):Thank you so much for listening today.(00:25:32):If this episode was helpful to you,(00:25:35):would you please text it to a friend and then leave us a five-star review at Apple(00:25:42):Podcasts on From Hardship to Hope.(00:25:46):Until next time.(00:25:58):Thank you.All About JuliaHi, I'm Julia Fikse, Nationally Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach, Functional Medicine Certified Health Coach, award-winning author, podcaster and speaker and creator of the Dear Food®Program. I specialize in helping hopeless dieters break food strongholds and get their eating-related victories with Jesus. Plus, I've overcome food addiction and obesity which means I'm able to bring expertise and empathy to the (food) table. Join me and make your personal wellness journey meaningful, joyful, practical and long-lasting at www.onesteptowellness.com.Contact:www.onesteptowellness.comGet the WorkbooksGet Dear Food Workbook 1: https://a.co/d/6FDoQXcDear Food Circlehttps://dear-food.circle.so/join?invitation_token=095202e90308801fb01fa9587f6b7610927b9ddd-24dabc27-b762-496a-817a-40c0ddb44edfYouTubeSubscribe to the YouTube channel and get FREE Chapter Videos and more!https://www.youtube.com/@dearfoodstudy/videosSign up for the NewsletterInstagramhttps://www.instagram.com/juliafikse/Facebookhttps://www.facebook.com/dearfoodstudy/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

(00:00:45):Do you long for hope amid mental, emotional, or everyday struggles?(00:00:49):Join mental health coach,(00:00:50):inner healing prayer warrior,(00:00:52):author,(00:00:53):and trauma survivor,(00:00:54):Tammy Kennington,(00:00:55):on From Hardship to Hope,(00:00:57):the podcast for Christian women navigating motherhood,(00:00:59):mental health,(00:01:00):or matters of faith.(00:01:02):If you need biblical support, encouragement, and actionable tips, this show is for you.(00:01:08):Welcome.(00:01:09):I'm your host, Tammy Kennington.(00:01:11):Today, we're discussing loneliness.(00:01:14):within the framework of Scripture.(00:01:17):We'll delve into the life of Elijah and consider some takeaways,(00:01:21):and at the end of the episode,(00:01:24):discuss specific ways to grow through and beyond loneliness.(00:01:29):So let's get started.(00:01:33):The article read,(00:01:35):Lonely old man in his 80s,(00:01:37):strong-bodied,(00:01:38):can shop,(00:01:38):cook,(00:01:39):and take care of himself.(00:01:41):No chronic illness.(00:01:43):I retired from a scientific research institute with a monthly pension of $946 a month.(00:01:50):My hope is that a kind-hearted person or family will adopt me,(00:01:53):nourish me through old age,(00:01:55):and bury my body when I'm dead.(00:01:58):This is taken from a 2021 news article written by a man named Han in China.(00:02:06):I often wonder about Han.(00:02:09):Did someone usher him into their family?(00:02:12):Did a Christian community invite him to church?(00:02:16):Did they meet his need for friendship, for companionship, for protection?(00:02:24):The book Project Unlonely by Dr. Jeremy Noble exposes what he terms the loneliness crisis.(00:02:31):And he notes that trauma,(00:02:33):aging,(00:02:34):illness,(00:02:34):and differences all contribute to loneliness,(00:02:39):one of the world's gravest social issues.(00:02:43):Yet we know from Scripture the story of loneliness is as old as time.(00:02:48):In Genesis 2 we read, Soon after Adam was created,(00:02:54):that God said it is not good for man to be alone.(00:02:57):We were made to commune with God and one another.(00:03:03):But after the fall, that need for companionship became altered.(00:03:11):Men no longer walked with God in the garden.(00:03:14):There was a gap in that relationship.(00:03:18):And the relationship between men and women was altered.(00:03:22):And we see that all throughout Adam's family with his sons having such struggle(00:03:30):that one rose up and killed the other.(00:03:34):That discomfort that loneliness brings with it reminds us of the importance of relationship.(00:03:42):Many people from Scripture also experience that same struggle,(00:03:46):and we can learn a lot from what the Bible records about them.(00:03:49):So today we're going to talk about one of the greatest prophets in the Old Testament, Elijah.(00:03:57):He was a powerful, influential man at the time.(00:04:00):He reprimanded King Ahab, who had let all of the northern kingdom of Israel into idolatry.(00:04:06):Elijah called fire down from heaven on Mount Carmel, yet he experienced acute loneliness.(00:04:14):In 1 Kings,(00:04:15):we discover that he was fearing for his life after revealing to Ahab that there(00:04:20):would be a famine in the land that would only end at his command.(00:04:26):The prophet, led by God, hid by the brook Cherith.(00:04:32):And out of curiosity, I looked up the meaning of that Hebrew word.(00:04:37):I discovered it means community of misfits and off the mainstream.(00:04:44):It intrigues me that God sent his faithful follower to a creek that reflected Elijah's light(00:04:52):Elijah didn't align with society's values.(00:04:55):In fact, he opposed the idolatry of those in the mainstream.(00:05:00):And I wonder how many of us feel like we've camped by the brook designated for(00:05:04):those swimming upstream.(00:05:06):Maybe you feel that way.(00:05:09):Maybe your family sees you as the Bible thumper.(00:05:14):Maybe you're the only Christian in your family.(00:05:17):Maybe you struggle to connect with co-workers because instead of using Jesus as a(00:05:24):curse word,(00:05:25):it's said in prayer.(00:05:28):Maybe you feel abandoned by a loved one.(00:05:35):Maybe you are lonely for a prodigal in your life.(00:05:42):A well-known author,(00:05:43):Lisa Turkhurst,(00:05:45):once wrote on Proverbs 31 about attending an event and how she felt so rejected and overlooked.(00:05:56):She says,(00:05:57):I couldn't wait to be with these people,(00:05:59):and I couldn't wait for the deep friendships that would surely bloom as a result of(00:06:03):our time together.(00:06:04):Walking into the meeting room, I quickly located the table of the people I was excited to meet.(00:06:10):Every seat had a name tag attached, so I circled the table looking for mine.(00:06:15):As I got to the last chair and realized my name wasn't there, my heart sank.(00:06:20):Finally, at a table on the opposite side of the room, I found my name.(00:06:24):The Lord must have a special plan for me to meet and connect with the others(00:06:28):assigned to my table,(00:06:29):I thought.(00:06:30):Taking my seat, I pulled out my cell phone and waited nervously for my table mates.(00:06:35):I waited and waited and waited.(00:06:39):As the prayer for the meal concluded and the event got underway,(00:06:42):it became painfully apparent to me that the others assigned to my table weren't(00:06:47):able to come for some reason.(00:06:49):So I'd be seated alone.(00:06:52):Very alone.(00:06:53):In my head, I started to have a little pity conversation.(00:06:57):Well, self, would you like a roll or ten perhaps?(00:07:00):And that's when a very clear sentence popped into my head.(00:07:04):You aren't set aside, Lisa.(00:07:05):You are set apart.(00:07:08):It wasn't audible and it wasn't my own thought.(00:07:11):I knew it was a thought assigned by God that I needed to ponder.(00:07:15):To be set aside is to be rejected.(00:07:18):That's exactly what the enemy wanted me to feel.(00:07:21):If he could get me to feel this,(00:07:23):then I'd become completely self-absorbed in my own insecurity and miss whatever(00:07:29):reason God had for me to be at this event.(00:07:32):When loneliness sets in, I wonder, are those enemy's arrows finding their mark?(00:07:42):Let's deny the enemy the victory over our minds.(00:07:46):Scripture actually calls us to be holy, which literally means set apart.(00:07:53):We are to be the Elijahs of our day.(00:07:59):Elijah's story does not end at the creek side.(00:08:03):Instead, the drought that he had announced to King Ahab affected him.(00:08:09):The brook dried up and his provision as well.(00:08:14):But God had a solution.(00:08:16):He sent the prophet four hours away to Phoenicia.(00:08:23):There was a widow there, and Elijah met her and said, please give me some bread and some water.(00:08:29):And she proceeded to tell him,(00:08:32):look,(00:08:32):I'm just out here gathering sticks to make a little fire and to use the last of my(00:08:36):flour and oil to make a final bit of bread for my son and me,(00:08:45):and then we know we'll die.(00:08:49):God sent Elijah to an unbelieving woman who called God your God.(00:08:57):And in her kindness,(00:09:02):she listened to Elijah,(00:09:04):made him the bread,(00:09:06):and invited the man God loved into her home.(00:09:12):And not only did God continue to give them flour and oil to sustain them throughout(00:09:19):the entirety of the famine and the drought,(00:09:24):but when that woman's son died,(00:09:27):Elijah raised him back from the dead,(00:09:31):and she recognized God as her own.(00:09:35):So God extended mercy not just to Elijah—(00:09:38):but also to the woman and her son.(00:09:42):It's such a beautiful story of God's mercy and compassion and provision.(00:09:49):After three years, the Lord called Elijah back to Israel to confront Ahab.(00:10:02):And while he was there, he met the priests of Baal on Mount Carmel.(00:10:08):There were 450 of them,(00:10:12):all calling out to their God,(00:10:15):Baal,(00:10:16):all calling out for him to answer their prayers.(00:10:20):Meanwhile, Elijah said, whoever has a God that answers, he is the true and living God.(00:10:28):When the prophets of Baal finally gave up, they had gashed themselves.(00:10:34):They had called out for hours until their voices were hoarse.(00:10:38):And Elijah said, pour water on this altar.(00:10:42):And he dug a trench and gallons and gallons and gallons of water absolutely(00:10:48):drenched the wood on the altar.(00:10:51):Elijah called out to God and fire came down and consumed the altar,(00:10:58):the wood,(00:10:59):the water,(00:11:00):and the dust.(00:11:03):After that, Elijah had all of those false prophets killed.(00:11:11):Upset and angry,(00:11:13):Ahab fled home to his wife,(00:11:15):who happened to be the most dangerous enemy in the kingdom,(00:11:22):Jezebel.(00:11:24):And when she heard of Elijah's victory, she put a price on Elijah's head, and he fled in fear.(00:11:34):into the wilderness.(00:11:36):In his despair, he called out, I have had enough.(00:11:42):I wonder if you're in that same place today,(00:11:45):if you've been in that place before,(00:11:48):if you've been alone in the wilderness or even there now shouting the words,(00:11:52):I've had enough.(00:11:58):God did not condemn Elijah,(00:12:02):despite his skewed perception of circumstances,(00:12:05):because truly,(00:12:06):loneliness can lead to his skewed perception of our situation.(00:12:11):Like Elijah, we might call out, I alone am left.(00:12:16):Nobody understands me.(00:12:18):Nobody understands my situation.(00:12:21):Nobody gets my pain.(00:12:23):Nobody understands my grief.(00:12:25):Nobody understands what it is to grapple with this illness.(00:12:29):There's no one else who gets trauma like this.(00:12:34):Elijah was in that place.(00:12:38):But Obadiah,(00:12:40):a servant over Ahab's household,(00:12:43):had hidden and provided for 100 prophets who loved the Lord.(00:12:47):Elijah wasn't alone.(00:12:49):But he was so consumed by self and situation,(00:12:52):he couldn't remove his gaze from the pain to the power of God.(00:13:02):One of my favorite psalms, Psalm 121,(00:13:07):encourages us to take a different approach it says i lift up my eyes to the hills(00:13:13):from whence comes my help my help comes from the lord who made the heavens and the(00:13:19):earth when we can remove our eyes from our own pain and look toward heaven and(00:13:29):heaven's purpose(00:13:32):Our circumstance itself may remain the same, but we can be transformed.(00:13:38):Let's take a closer look at God's response to Elijah's loneliness.(00:13:43):We've seen how Elijah responded to his loneliness,(00:13:47):but let's take a look to see how God responded to him.When Elijah said, I've had enough, I can't take anymore, God did not condemn him.(00:14:01):His scripture reveals that God sent an angel instead to refresh his exhausted follower.(00:14:08):He provided him with heaven-sent bread and a jug of fresh water.(00:14:14):Afterward,(00:14:15):Elijah launched on a 40-day journey until he arrived on Mount Horeb,(00:14:21):the same mountain that Moses hiked up to receive the commandments,(00:14:27):the same mountain Moses hiked where he saw the burning bush.(00:14:33):God heard the prophet's lament,(00:14:35):not once,(00:14:36):but twice,(00:14:37):when Elijah said,(00:14:38):I've been very zealous for the Lord,(00:14:41):and I alone am left.(00:14:45):Maybe you have been zealous for the Lord too.(00:14:49):You've done all the right things.(00:14:51):I thought that if I did all the right things in my life,(00:14:55):if I followed God,(00:14:57):if I raised my children in a home with a Christian husband and we directed them(00:15:02):toward the face of God,(00:15:04):then A plus B would equal C.(00:15:06):Things would fall into place.(00:15:08):But life isn't like that.(00:15:10):We do have an enemy.(00:15:12):And the world is fallen.(00:15:15):But what I love is that God reveals him in the most unexpected way.(00:15:21):And he can do this for Elijah.(00:15:23):He can do this for us.(00:15:27):1 Kings 19 reads, He came there to a cave and lodged there.(00:15:41):And behold, the word of God came to him and he said, What are you doing, Elijah?(00:15:47):And he said,(00:15:47):I've been very zealous for Yahweh,(00:15:48):the God of hosts,(00:15:50):for the sons of Israel have forsaken your covenant,(00:15:53):pulled down your altars,(00:15:54):and killed your prophets with the sword,(00:15:55):and I alone am left.(00:15:58):So God said, Go forth, stand on the mountain.(00:16:01):And behold,(00:16:02):Yahweh was passing by,(00:16:04):and a great and strong wind was tearing up the mountains and breaking in pieces the(00:16:08):rocks before Yahweh.(00:16:10):But Yahweh was not in the wind.(00:16:12):And after the wind, an earthquake, but Yahweh was not in the earthquake.(00:16:17):Then after the earthquake, a fire, but Yahweh was not in the fire.(00:16:21):And after the fire, a sound of a thin, gentle whisper.(00:16:27):Now that it happened that when Elijah heard it,(00:16:29):he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave.(00:16:35):And behold, a voice came to him and said, What are you doing here, Elijah?(00:16:40):God's gentle whisper.(00:16:44):Elijah suffered through the famine.(00:16:47):He dealt with persecution.(00:16:48):He managed isolation.(00:16:51):But he also encountered the Lord.(00:16:54):God sustained him.(00:16:57):He was promised community and he was commissioned for a new thing.(00:17:05):To anoint a prophet and a new king.(00:17:10):That gentle whisper of God is for us too.(00:17:14):We can hear his gentle whisper in the Holy Spirit when we meet with him,(00:17:18):when we abide in him,(00:17:20):when we climb that spiritual mountain and we say,(00:17:24):God,(00:17:24):I can't do this on my own,(00:17:26):but you can.(00:17:29):So just as God met Elijah in his loneliness, he will meet us in ours.(00:17:39):We know.(00:17:40):That when Elijah was alone, God did something interesting.(00:17:44):He at first addressed Elijah's physical needs.(00:17:47):He provided nourishment.(00:17:50):He provided water and food and rest.(00:17:55):And then he offered him comfort and guidance.(00:17:59):God is our provider.(00:18:01):The Lord's Prayer tells us, Give us this day our daily bread.(00:18:06):But He's also the God who is our spiritual river.(00:18:11):He will fill us to overflowing with the Holy Spirit.(00:18:14):And that Holy Spirit is the same one who is our comfort and our guide.(00:18:21):He's our advocate.(00:18:24):We are not left alone.(00:18:29):And now let's explore a little bit more about how God's presence in the stillness(00:18:33):and solitude transformed Elijah.(00:18:39):From the point at which Elijah met the Lord on Mount Horeb, he gained spiritual strength.(00:18:47):He put on that spiritual mantle.(00:18:52):And God led him back to Israel where he declared God's power.(00:18:59):He anointed a new king and a new prophet who took on Elijah's mantle.(00:19:06):He fulfilled his mission.(00:19:11):The reality is that loneliness is not uncommon, Christian or not.(00:19:16):We all face an internal battle in times of isolation.(00:19:20):We can face feelings of unfruitfulness, of unproductivity.(00:19:25):Sometimes our thoughts gain the upper hand and lead us to a private wilderness of(00:19:29):pain and isolation.(00:19:34):How are we to cope when that happens?(00:19:38):First, we need to recognize that as God assured Elijah he was not alone,(00:19:44):and reminded him of the 7,000 other prophets in Israel who had not bowed to Baal,(00:19:52):that there is a modern-day church filled with believers walking through their own(00:19:57):and even similar valleys.(00:20:02):72% of women say they sometimes feel lonely.(00:20:05):They are in our churches.(00:20:07):They're sitting next to us or behind us in the church pew.(00:20:12):They're in us in our play groups.(00:20:15):They're by our side in Bible studies.(00:20:18):They're sitting with us on that commute to work.(00:20:23):They are in the lounge space.(00:20:27):at work,(00:20:28):next to us,(00:20:30):when we're in the grocery store,(00:20:33):wherever it might be,(00:20:34):there is another person who feels that loneliness.(00:20:41):So we too,(00:20:42):as the body of Christ,(00:20:44):can minister to those walking through a season that we understand.(00:20:52):And in those wilderness times,(00:20:56):We know that our solitude is not wasted.(00:20:59):For Elijah, it was a time of renewal and clarity, a recommissioning for new work.(00:21:06):What is that new thing he might be doing in your life?(00:21:11):These moments of loneliness can be opportunities of growth for us.(00:21:15):They can be opportunities even for preparation or deeper intimacy with God.(00:21:20):In fact, 40 days of fasting and prayer are shown throughout Scripture.(00:21:28):Moses was on the mountain for 40 days, fasting and in prayer.(00:21:33):Jesus went through the wilderness for 40 days.(00:21:37):But after testing,(00:21:39):there was,(00:21:40):in all of the situations with these men,(00:21:43):a great time of mission and purpose.(00:21:47):Perhaps God may do the same thing in our lives.(00:21:52):What can he teach us through our loneliness?(00:21:56):Who is in our circle of influence that might be experiencing that loneliness?(00:22:00):And how can we come alongside them?(00:22:03):And as mentioned in our last episode, are we filling up on the Holy Spirit?(00:22:10):Is our sponge so full with the living water of the Holy Spirit that when life(00:22:17):squeezes us,(00:22:18):we're pouring out His love,(00:22:21):His grace,(00:22:22):His mercy?(00:22:24):Can we remove our eyes from our own pain to see something greater that God might have for us?(00:22:34):If you're looking for a great read or resource,(00:22:38):I'd like to recommend The New Loneliness,(00:22:42):Nurturing Meaningful Connections When You Feel Isolated by Cindy McMenamin.(00:22:49):She talks about reconnecting with God,(00:22:51):reconnecting with your heart,(00:22:53):and reconnecting with others.(00:22:56):She addresses suffering,(00:22:57):comparison,(00:22:58):busyness,(00:22:59):mistrust,(00:23:00):hashtag me first,(00:23:03):screens,(00:23:04):and independence,(00:23:06):as well as several other topics.(00:23:08):There are areas for reflection and intentionality and journaling as well.(00:23:14):I can't recommend this resource enough.(00:23:17):And if you really love the science side of loneliness,(00:23:22):you might want to pick up a copy of Project Unlonely by Jeremy Noble.(00:23:28):It is a secular book,(00:23:31):but it's filled with wonderful information about projects that have helped people(00:23:37):heal from loneliness.(00:23:39):And you might even discover some inspiration for how you might impact your community.(00:23:48):As we finish up today, I would love to pray for you.(00:23:54):Lord, thank you for showing us your compassion, care, and mercy throughout Scripture.(00:24:00):Like Elijah,(00:24:00):we sometimes grow discouraged in our situations and sometimes feel like we're(00:24:05):wandering through a wasteland,(00:24:06):bereft of anything to sustain us or anyone to witness our pain.(00:24:13):But you, Father, will sustain us.(00:24:16):You are a witness to our struggles.(00:24:19):And you call us higher to a spiritual mountain, a place of abiding beneath your wings.(00:24:27):Help us surrender our circumstances to you, Abba.(00:24:30):We give the loneliness of suffering, loss, illness, or difference to you.(00:24:36):Give us the eyes of Elijah to help us see you warring on our behalf.(00:24:41):Gird us up that we might stand against the lies of the enemy and help us move ahead(00:24:48):as we seek to minister to others who are walking through a similar valley.(00:24:54):Thank you for your extravagant love and for your faithful presence.(00:25:00):In Jesus' precious and powerful name, Amen.(00:25:31):Thank you. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

Do you long for hope amid life's struggles and challenges? Then join author, certified mental health coach and inner healing prayer practitioner Tammy Kennington on From Hardship to Hope, the podcast for Christian navigating life through a faith based lens.If you need biblical support, encouragement and actionable tips, this show is for you. Welcome. I'm your host, Tammy Kennington. Today we continue delving into the topic of loneliness with guest expert Don Dawn Ward.Dawn is a speaker, writer and Bible teacher. She is the founder of the Faith to Flourish, a ministry offering support encouragement to women with addicted loved ones. Don also equips women to live transformed lives through inspiring teaching, mentoring and biblical resources.She's married to Steve and mom to three adult children. Her book From Guilt to Hope and Healing for Christian Moms of addicted children, published September 24, is now available.John, thank you so much for being here. Welcome.Speaker A: Thank you for inviting me, Tammy. I look forward to our conversation.Speaker B: I do too.Well, let's go ahead and and start with the question of what role has your faith played in helping you navigate feelings of loneliness? And how can others lean on their faith in Christ in a similar sort of circumstance?Speaker A: When I first looked at loneliness, I thought how can you be lonely when you're busy and you're a mom and you have kids and you have family and you have friends and you have work and your career and church and all of that.And so there's so many people around us. But loneliness is not always about the number of people we have in our lives or the number of relationships we have. Often we feel lonely and isolated because of circumstances that we're going through.In my case, it happened to be children who were struggling with addiction and especially when it started in our family close to 20 years ago. I remember feeling very isolated, not knowing who I could talk to because I was a woman of faith.And I often found that the circles that I was in, while maybe they discussed higher power and those type of things, I didn't feel the connection that I needed to with my faith to help me to be able to be just open and honest and sincere and really be myself and know, talk about those hard things like when David cried out in the Psalms and just lamented.I think that was something that was missing for me in that I felt the need to appear strong and to have a strong faith and to believe for the, for my children's welfare.And I couldn't bring myself to feel like I felt comfortably in a circle where everyone was really depressed and hopeless. But I also didn't feel like I fit into a circle where it was all faith and everything is, you know, going to be fine and just trust Jesus and.And so I felt like I kind of wavered and that is where my faith helped me. But at the same time, I struggled and was a little bit in limbo in there too.Like, who can I be open to in the church and who can I talk to? So I could often go into a room full of people and feel just very lonely and isolated.Speaker B: You have a similar experience to me in that I have a couple of precious children who walked through addiction struggles. I too felt very alone in that because I wasn't quite sure who was a safe enough person, even within my faith community to share that with without feeling judged.And I think it's so important that we not only deal with stigma having to do with addiction or mental health, but also with the stigma of loneliness, because it's not a topic we deal with much.Do you have any tips or insight on how people can navigate that difficult situation?Speaker A: I would say find your people. It's. It's instinctual to want to pull away. And I feel like an animal sometimes. It's caught trap where they're hurt and they need help, but the very person who's there trying to help them, they're pulling away from and they're.And they're afraid of. And they might even be lashing out. And sometimes our support system doesn't look like what we think it should look like. In other words, we may feel like our husband should get us like the, you know, the children's father should understand what we're going through or be able to communicate in such a way as to offer us support.Or maybe we feel like we should be able to talk to our family of origin, our parents, or our siblings, but because of history there, we really can't even talk to them.And so we have to look outside of who we would think would normally be our circle of influence and would be those closest people to us because they just might not be the ones equipped to help us go through this.And so finding someone that you can connect with, who relates, you know, it could be another mom, it could be another person going through what you're going through, whatever your circumstances are, if you're dealing with a terminally ill loved one or maybe your career was just swept away from you unexpectedly, finding those people who have either walked through it or are walking through it, but maybe a little bit ahead of you so that they can offer you some sage advice and encouragement about you will get through this so that you're not just commiserating, which can often make you feel like, well, gosh, you know, I got it off my chest, but I don't feel any better.And so, yes, she gets me, but I don't feel any better. So sometimes you have to look, you have to kind of go around till you find your people, your tribe, if you want to call it that.It could be one person, it could be a few friends. And I did find that that was the case, that it wasn't numbers of people and a lot of people, but it was just thinking to myself, like, lord, who do I know?Or who could I get to know that can kind of help walk me through this and be a supportive, but also have enough wisdom to say, we. Come on, Dawn, you know, where is Jesus in this?Do you see him in this? And you know, are you really alone? Or are there people who love you and care about you? Because sometimes our feelings lie to us too.Speaker B: Absolutely. And I love that. I think we do have to really seek that kind of community out in pretty much any circumstance. But I can relate to kind of being that animal, having that sort of animalistic response because we just closed in on ourselves.And that makes you feel even more isolated, which I think is part of the reason I think it's so important we're talking about these struggles. I do think people can even find their tribe, as you were saying, in groups like Celebrate Recovery.Yes, because a group like Celebrate Recovery isn't just about addiction recovery. It's also about wounding. Just a general wounding. And that might be a good place if somebody is really looking for a way forward or even just personal counseling or couple counseling, just because then you have somebody who can reflect back to you.Okay, have you thought about this?Speaker A: And yes, I really agree because sometimes we get into our own head and it's like a broken record. Right. We can't get unstuck. We don't want to be where we're at, but we don't know how to take that one extra step that would.Would then break that cycle. And often when we're dealing with long term difficult things like you and I both went through and many people are going through, what happens is we.We don't know what we don't know, and we don't know what we need. And so part of it is just being open to finding a support system and saying to yourself. “You know, I really like her, she's nice.” But I'm finding that if I'm spending time with her, I'm not feeling better. I might need to look for someone else or, you know, and that could even be a counselor.You might be, you know, going to see a counselor. And for whatever reason, they're, they're empathetic, they're understanding, but you're not starting to feel better. And I think that's because often we see loneliness, but it's just one part of a puzzle piece of grief.And so when you were talking about being like that, you know, animal that's hurt and caught, that's grief a lot of times too. And so we don't recognize that we're grieving.So at first we're pulling away from the person or whoever God is sending to us for support because we're just thinking, I need to just snap out of.But when something happens and you're going through the valley of the shadow of death, or you're going through a tremendous traumatic experience and shock and the trauma, often that's a natural survival, like a survival mode that we go into.And so it's, it's instinctual and so it's okay in those first early days, weeks, when you're gathering information and you're just in shock and you're trying to get it to all settle in.But when we start to stay there is when I think we really start to feel isolated and stuck. And so that's where someone who can help move us along.And I even remember telling my sons that I'm like, find the groups that encourage and build you up and will hold you accountable in a positive way. Don't find the ones that are people who don't want to be there.You know, for instance, if they're struggling with addiction, there's a lot of recovery groups, but some of them can just be a bunch of young kids. Maybe they're court ordered to be there.They don't want to be there, they want to be out of there. If you really want to change, you want to have like minded people who are also working towards their change.And I think that's the way it is with loneliness. We all enjoy being alone and having quiet sometimes and just being able to, you know, decombust and decongest and all of that.But I. Loneliness and isolation are different. And that can really, we can really get stuck in that if we're not proactive.Speaker B: Oh. Yeah. There's that distinct difference between the two. And even Even someone who's deeply introverted will still need that connection. And even if they don't need as much as the most extroverted individual there, because it's a continuum of need.Speaker A: Yes.Speaker B: So you mentioned a couple of great ways to build connection. What if you're struggling in your church home and feeling disconnected from others? How can people start to build that deeper, more meaningful relationship with people within those four walls?Speaker A: That was something I had to learn because I tended to pull away from my church community.I. Not to say I didn't. I didn't quit going to church, but I quit saying yes to a lot of the opportunities a church has in ministry and just gathering together and, and just serving together side by side.I tended to pull away from those things.And so what?So in, for instance, if you get hurt, you're going to either go to an ER or to an urgent care so that a medical doctor can take care of you and see the injury and tell you how to treat it.So you know where you need to go to help you if you're hurt or you're sick or you're injured.And I think that's the way it is with whatever thing that's causing you to feel so lonely. You may need to go to a support group that's at another church.Like you said, go to a counselor, find an online group of people who are going through what you're going through and do that with them, and then go to your church to worship the Lord, to be in each other's presence, serving together, finding that ministry that you love doing where you can just go and be you and enjoy building relationships and serving together.And then over time, I think the Lord starts to bring those people that are your safe people that you can tell a little bit of your story to within your church family and not feel like, you know, I'm under everyone's constant scrutiny or they don't know how to ask me about this situation.So, you know, everyone feels uncomfortable. And so I think it's just an opportunity until you start to get more comfortable and able to. In going through what you're going through, it just helps to maybe have the two separated a little bit.Speaker B: And I love that. I'd never thought of that.Speaker A: Yeah, because. Because sometimes our churches have great communities, but people, especially people who are in actual, maybe recovery for addiction, or I think about men who maybe have had a **** addiction or women who've had a **** addiction or something, if they were to go to their own church they might feel stigmatized, labeled, and maybe some people very well would do that, or maybe a lot of people would be very understanding.But either way, you feel revealed and you feel uncomfortable, and maybe you're just not ready for that. And so knowing that you can go maybe someplace across town and make a group of friends there that are all going through the same thing that you're going through and dealing with the same thing you're dealing with, you may end up seeing some of the people from your church there, because they may be going across town as well.But, you know, build that community because there's. We are very multifaceted people. We have gifts and talents that God has given us. And when we get lonely and we start grieving, we tend to just kind of sink into ourselves and we forget about all these beautiful other aspects of who we are that God created us to be, that we can go and flourish in those areas by serving and working.You know, we have gifts or maybe you want to see. You love singing. Stay on the worship team. Go sing. Go be with your people and. And, you know, go to church for that reason.Speaker B: I love that, because we still need to. When we're. When we're walking through a place of loneliness, we do need to nurture and foster those things that God has gifted with, gifted us with, because we want to remain in close relationship with him as well.And that's so key, I think, to. To recovering from.From any loneliness.We need people, but we. But we need the Lord too. And so.Thank you.Speaker A: I do think about people who are homebound, and that's, I'm sure, something that you'll probably discuss further with some of your other guests that have had that personal experience or maybe a loved one who's homebound.Right, Mom? Right now, my father is homebound, and he doesn't know the Lord, but he's dealing with a terminal illness. You know, his. His life is coming to an end here, but probably in the next few months or so.And I see him, even when I try to drive to his town where he lives and say, well, can I just take you out for a little while? Or whatever, he.His mind is already setting himself to just stay there.And so some of his loneliness, you know, in a few months when he's really sick, maybe it would make more sense. But right now he's just tired, worn out, lonely, and doesn't have the energy.And so that's where I think church communities can really help. Or if somebody is struggling just with transportation, I think, you know, if the Church community can look for those women, those people who are truly not able to get themselves to church or they even can't attend church in person, that it would be nice if someone in the church knows of a person like that, that maybe they go pay them a regular visit and just see them and encourage them for even just a few minutes or a cup of coffee, or take them a cookie and just visit for a few minutes can make a world of difference for people who really cannot do anything about their isolation.Speaker B: Oh, that's fabulous. And, and that that group of people, whether it's chronic illness or people who are aging and just unable to get out, or people who have some, some particular reason that they're unable to leave home.I think that's a beautiful thing. In one of the books I've been reading about loneliness, I wish I could remember which one. I have such a huge stack, but there was mention of a woman who was homebound.And there was a group of people who found out about these people who. Other individuals who were homebound and they began making regular weekly phone calls.And it was just incredible because she developed this relationship with a gentleman who continued to call her just a friendship. And finally he was able to meet with her and she was, you know, an elderly woman with diabetes.And that's why she couldn't go anywhere because I think she had an amputation. And this young guy, 30 something, with young kids would visited her and they became such close friends and they continue to foster that relationship.And she, she was able to get pressed through that loneliness so much because of him. And as a result was able to really focused on healing, losing weight and those things, and was eventually was able to return to visit different places and actually leave the home.Speaker A: See, that's wonderful. That's just the gift of love, isn't it? And it's seeing a need and feeling it in any way that we can.And I see that when the, when the church is working well together and the eye isn't trying to be the hand, and the hand isn't trying to be the foot, but everyone is just doing their part.And so for me, for instance, I will cook for someone, but it's not like my strength, but I will do it. But, but if, if they say, well, you know, we need someone to take a casserole and we need someone to take a salad, I'd rather take the salad because then I know that I'm not possibly going to mess up the casserole and be all stressed out about it.So then it turns out to be something I enjoy doing because I love actually getting with the person and who and just talking to them and enjoying their conversation and their company.And so I think it's just also seeing what God has gifted us in and not feeling like, well, I can't do it like Betty, but instead, what is the thing God's asking you to do and that can help us come, you know, combat loneliness really well.And I think loneliness has become a huge issue, especially since COVID It really felt like we had to be very intentional about getting out. I know my office was closed for several weeks during COVID and all of that.And I just had to get myself out and walk and wave at people and just know that I was still alive.You know, know we, I live in Las Vegas, our entire strip, all the hotels closed. And that's our, our main economy here. And so it was just a very weird ghost town kind of a feeling here.And afterwards it took time to really start to feel comfortable just doing normal things again. So I can imagine for some people it's especially hard.Speaker B: Yes, I think you're right. And it, the data does show and reflect exactly what you're saying, that loneliness has not decreased since COVID but it only increased. And so these are, these are such key conversations.Speaker A: They are, yeah.Speaker B: I just really appreciate all of your insight into that. What do you think?The. What. How do you balance the need for personal solitude and reflection with. With the importance of being in a community? And what has that balance taught you about God's presence in your life?Speaker A: So my career as I was a medical esthetician, so I worked in a medical practice for about 22 years, but I was in medical doctor's offices for about 25 years. So it's very high energy.You're seeing a lot of patients, you're talking to a lot of staff. There's a lot going on. And so when I, what happened with me was I had a hand injury that required surgery.The hand didn't heal well enough for me to go back and work on patients faces and, you know, take on that liability. And so that was a career end for me.So I went from seeing people and being with people all day long to pretty much, you know, working behind my keyboard and behind the screen and connecting that way, which I had never really connected a lot with people.I mean, I was on social media. I have an online support group for Christian moms whose children struggle with addiction. But I just didn't really have the one on one that I was used to having.And I had to kind of work to get to where I was like, hey, can we connect and just talk over zoom and have a cup of coffee and get to know each other?And I had to be very intentional about building relationships. And then I had to tell myself, okay, now you're. They're not just going to come to you. You have to go to them.And so I think anytime the church can make opportunities for the. The people to come together, that's great. But I also feel like some of us are just stronger in the area of we're just more outgoing, and I think that's a gift.So the people who are outgoing don't think that a shy person doesn't enjoy companionship. My daughter is on the autism spectrum, so she's very quiet and she only says what she has to say.But she's a deep thinker and she doesn't miss anything. And she likes being with people. But it can be perceived, her quietness can be perceived as that she doesn't want to be with people.But I would always ask her, like, you know, does this situation cause you stress or do you enjoy it? No, I like it. So then I would look for more opportunities to kind of cultivate those situations that she enjoyed.She likes going out with myself and my friends and just listening to us gabber away. And she says very little, but she's taking it all in and she likes it.And so I think for those of us who. That has taught me to kind of look for those shy, introverted people, if I'm at a group setting in church or whatever and just go introduce myself and just say hi, because it's always awkward for any of us to meet someone new.But now as I'm getting older, I have less inhibitions that way, and I just enjoy meeting new people.So I would say even if you're not comfortable really with one on one, put yourself into those situations and see who God brings your way, who, who you cross paths with.And that's where I think the church can. Can do it really well, you know, in cultivating environments where, yeah, there's large group G, but there's also the opportunity for those small group gatherings as well.Speaker B: Oh, I love. Yes. We put on the brave. Put on the brave.Well, we usually close with a prayer. Don, would you consider offering a prayer to the person who's listening right now and just struggling with that loneliness?Speaker A: I would. I would love to pray.Speaker B: Thank you.Speaker A: Okay. Lord Jesus, I thank you so much for this time that we've had together to Talk about loneliness. And I think everyone can put their pulse on a situation that they felt lonely in, that they felt uninvited, perhaps unwelcomed, perhaps even rejected.I think we've all gone through situations in our life that have isolated us. And so for those people who right now are experiencing that or perhaps still hurting and struggling with the wounds of feeling lonely, feeling rejected, feeling like no one sees them, Lord, I just, I want to encourage them that you see them, that you know them, that you love them, you hear their cries.And Father, you do not want them to feel lonely or to feel like no one cares and that there are people out there who are willing to get to know them and excited to get to know them.So, Father, whatever it is they're going through that causes them to feel like I can't do it, I don't have it in me. I pray that you would just strengthen them to make that phone call or to say yes to that meeting or to find that meetup group, that it could be a knitting group, it could be a coffee club, it could be a book club, just anything.It is that they would just make that phone call or go online and find that one thing that they really enjoy doing and take that step of faith. Just give them courage to take that step of faith.And if anyone is listening and they see that woman at church that comes by herself all the time and her kids are crying and she puts them into the nursery and she sits down and feels frazzled and they just have a heart for her, Lord.Or they see that widow who comes week after week and she's alone, or they. They hear of someone who was a regular at the church and now she's homebound. I pray that they wouldn't be shy, that you would fill them with your love, with your boldness and give them just creative ideas for ways to show and share your love.So, Lord, we praise you. We thank you for those who are hurting, who are feeling like their circumstances are never going to end. Father, I want you to remind them that you are with them, that your rod and your staff comfort them and they are not alone because they have you.So, Father, we praise you and thank you. Thank you for being our constant companion. We pray this in Jesus name. Amen.Speaker B: Amen. Well, thank you, Dawn. I will put all of Dawn's links and information in our show notes, so be sure to check out all of her incredible, her incredible ministry and social media accounts.Be sure to visit. And thank you, Dawn, for sharing your insight and wisdom with us.And if you are listening and found this episode helpful, the best way you can spread the word about from hardship to hope is to text this to a friend and leave a five-star rating and review.Until next time.If you’d like to connect with Dawn…Dawn Ward is a speaker, writer, and Bible teacher. She is the founder of The Faith to Flourish, a ministry offering support and encouragement to women with addicted loved ones. Dawn also equips women to live transformed lives through inspiring teaching, mentoring, and biblical resources. She is married to Steve and mom to three adult children. Her book, From Guilt to Grace: Hope and Healing for Christian Moms of Addicted Children, published September 2024, is now available.Social Media links:HTTPS://www.thefaithtoflourish.comHTTPS://www.Facebook.com/thefaithtoflourishHTTPS://www.instagram.com/thefaithtoflourishbloghttps://youtube.com/thefaithtoflourishwithdawnwardhttps://linkedin.com/in/dawn-ward-93975b266 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

(00:00:18):Do you long for hope amid life struggles and challenges?(00:00:22):Then join author and life coach Tammy Kennington on From Hardship to Hope,(00:00:27):the podcast for Christian women navigating life through a faith-based lens.(00:00:32):If you need biblical support, encouragement, and actionable tips, this show is for you.(00:00:37):Welcome.(00:00:38):I'm your host, Tammy Kennington.(00:00:40):I'm so glad you've joined me for the first episode of season two.(00:00:45):Today,(00:00:45):and for the next several episodes,(00:00:48):we're going to discuss a topic that is often not one we grapple with regularly,(00:00:55):at least in public.(00:00:58):That is the topic of loneliness.(00:01:01):While it's not something we may always talk about,(00:01:03):it is something we'll all experience at some point in our lives.(00:01:07):And I would guess that most, if not all of us, have experienced it before.(00:01:12):Whether we are going through a tough season,(00:01:16):we're recently divorced or single,(00:01:19):or maybe just feeling disconnected from those around us,(00:01:22):loneliness can sneak up in unexpected ways.(00:01:26):But here's the good news.(00:01:27):Loneliness doesn't have to be something that we fear or avoid.(00:01:31):In fact,(00:01:32):it's something we can learn to navigate through faith,(00:01:35):just like many of the women and men we read about in the Bible and whose lives(00:01:40):we'll discuss throughout this series.(00:01:43):Let's first begin by defining what loneliness is,(00:01:47):understanding some of its characteristics,(00:01:49):and then exploring how we as Christian women can walk through loneliness with hope.(00:01:57):So what is loneliness?(00:01:58):Loneliness.(00:02:01):It's defined as an unpleasant emotional response to perceived isolation.(00:02:07):Loneliness is also described as a social pain,(00:02:10):a psychological mechanism that motivates individuals to seek social connections.(00:02:17):In that way, loneliness can be a good thing, right?(00:02:21):Because we are recognizing there's something we need from someone else.(00:02:26):We know in and within ourselves that we are not enough.(00:02:31):People are made for connection.(00:02:34):But loneliness is often associated with a perceived lack of connection with intimacy.(00:02:43):Many researchers, however, do make a distinction between loneliness and isolation or solitude.(00:02:51):Solitude is really just the act of being apart from others, but not everyone who is(00:03:00):Experiencing solitude feels lonely.(00:03:03):As an emotion, loneliness can often be felt even when we're surrounded by other people.(00:03:12):So loneliness is sometimes misunderstood.(00:03:15):It's not just a single aspect of one's life.(00:03:20):It's not just about being physically alone.(00:03:24):it can be a deep emotional feeling of disconnection.(00:03:28):It's when we have that deep ache in our hearts and feel like no one else(00:03:32):understands us,(00:03:33):or when we long for connection with someone,(00:03:36):but it just seems out of reach.(00:03:40):Research indicates there are several different types of loneliness.(00:03:44):These are emotional loneliness,(00:03:46):which is an absence of meaningful relationship,(00:03:51):social loneliness,(00:03:52):which is a perceived deficit of(00:03:54):and the quality of contacts or the number of people involved in our lives or(00:04:00):quality of those relationships.(00:04:03):And then there's existential loneliness,(00:04:05):which is a feeling of being separate from others and the world at large.(00:04:12):Now, these feelings of loneliness often overlap.(00:04:17):If you imagine a Venn diagram,(00:04:19):emotional,(00:04:20):social,(00:04:20):and existential,(00:04:21):they'll often overlap with one another.(00:04:25):They are experienced for different durations of time and different intensities.(00:04:30):They can be transient, meaning they come and go.(00:04:33):They might be situational.(00:04:36):So some of us may have struggled with feeling lonely during the Christmas season,(00:04:43):for example,(00:04:44):or on certain dates,(00:04:45):maybe our birthday or a Father's Day or a Mother's Day.(00:04:49):And loneliness can also be chronic.(00:04:54):So for some of us,(00:04:55):loneliness can manifest as a feeling of emptiness,(00:04:58):like something might be missing,(00:05:00):while others may experience it as profound sadness or even,(00:05:04):again,(00:05:04):that isolation from others.(00:05:07):And it's really important for us to recognize that loneliness can affect anyone,(00:05:12):whether we're in that room that's crowded again or we're sitting alone at home.(00:05:19):Loneliness does not play favorites, and it doesn't have a favorite role.(00:05:24):place to call home.(00:05:27):So what else do we know and why should we address loneliness?(00:05:33):Well, the U.S.(00:05:34):News and World Report recently had an article entitled, Loneliness is Plaguing Americans.(00:05:43):And for that article, they surveyed 2,200 adults.(00:05:48):One third of those adults reported feeling lonely at least once a week(00:05:53):Well, one in 10 said that they experienced loneliness every day.(00:06:01):So I wanted to dig a little more into this because the U.S.(00:06:07):World News Report survey seemed to indicate something very significant.(00:06:13):And it's backed up by information proposed by the American Psychological Association.(00:06:21):In 2023,(00:06:21):the APA conducted a survey of their own,(00:06:26):which confirmed that 30% of 18 to 34-year-olds are lonely every day or several(00:06:34):times a week,(00:06:35):while 43% of American adults,(00:06:38):adults across the board,(00:06:40):experience loneliness in the same way that they did during COVID.(00:06:45):In other words, loneliness has not changed forever.(00:06:49):for most American adults.(00:06:52):And interestingly, loneliness seems rampant across cultures.(00:06:57):There was research that I found about the UK and that society is experiencing very(00:07:06):similar or the same sorts of loneliness.(00:07:09):Those people in that culture are also navigating the same struggles that Americans(00:07:16):are with loneliness.(00:07:19):So what else do we know?(00:07:21):Research indicates that loneliness equates to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.(00:07:28):What happens in the body is that it increases the prevalence of norepinephrine,(00:07:36):which is associated with the fight,(00:07:39):flight and freeze reaction that people tend to have.(00:07:42):And it leads to accelerated aging.(00:07:47):and health struggles, really significant health struggles.(00:07:53):In fact, it is a predictor, sadly, of early mortality, in particular when loneliness is chronic.(00:08:01):Now,(00:08:01):chronic loneliness,(00:08:02):as I mentioned,(00:08:03):is linked to health struggles,(00:08:05):and these include increased blood pressure,(00:08:07):a weakened immune system,(00:08:10):anxiety,(00:08:10):depression,(00:08:11):obesity,(00:08:13):high cholesterol,(00:08:14):heart disease,(00:08:16):an increase of blood sugars and even Alzheimer's disease.(00:08:21):It's a pretty startling list, isn't it?(00:08:25):Very concerning when we consider that so many of our young adults,(00:08:29):18 to 34,(00:08:30):and then our older Americans,(00:08:33):our older seniors,(00:08:35):elderly in the elderly population struggle with loneliness.(00:08:41):So how do people ease their loneliness?(00:08:45):There are several different ways.(00:08:47):50% of people distract themselves with a television show,(00:08:51):with a podcast,(00:08:53):or by engaging in social media.(00:08:56):41% take a walk.(00:08:58):And this differs according to this particular study that I was listening to with(00:09:05):31% who utilize exercise.(00:09:05):38% engage with family and friends.(00:09:07):Another 31% with their pets.(00:09:16):26% eat more than usual, and 13% utilize drugs or alcohol.(00:09:24):The causes of loneliness are varied depending on our life situations.(00:09:32):Loneliness might be a result of a genetic inheritance, an(00:09:38):And,(00:09:38):um,(00:09:39):based on twin studies,(00:09:40):it seems that approximately 15 to 20% of people are more predisposed to loneliness(00:09:47):than others.(00:09:49):Cultural factors within family situations can affect loneliness.(00:09:54):Those people with adverse childhood experiences,(00:09:57):for example,(00:09:58):are more prone to struggle with loneliness as adults.(00:10:02):It could be just a lack of meaningful relationships,(00:10:05):a loss,(00:10:06):a significant loss,(00:10:08):or even incredibly excessive reliance on technologies.(00:10:15):So we do know, as I mentioned, that loneliness is found throughout society.(00:10:21):And it's even among people in marriages or in others,(00:10:27):strong relationships,(00:10:28):those who have other strong relationships,(00:10:30):those people who have successful careers.(00:10:33):This is a human experience.(00:10:38):There are a couple of times in my life that when I reflect,(00:10:41):I can think about experiencing a deep sense of loneliness.(00:10:48):One was as a little girl.(00:10:51):As a little girl growing up in a home rife with violence and abuse, I felt very alone.(00:10:58):And in fact, one of my favorite stories was the little match girl.(00:11:03):And I imagine myself being the little match girl and taken and(00:11:08):up into heaven and experiencing freedom from that pain and that loneliness.(00:11:17):At another point in my life,(00:11:20):I would be sitting amongst a full crowd of young women at church during Bible study(00:11:27):or during a church service.(00:11:30):And Sunday after Sunday, I just felt alone in the midst of(00:11:36):of all of those people just alone and misunderstood.(00:11:40):And I really think it was my perception.(00:11:43):It wasn't anything anyone else had done, but I felt so alone and I couldn't understand it.(00:11:50):And then more recently with my children all launching into their careers and early(00:11:57):marriage and college,(00:11:59):I found myself navigating a new arena of aloneness and(00:12:06):feeling quite alone.(00:12:09):I wonder too,(00:12:10):if you have been in that same position,(00:12:13):maybe you've been there feeling like you're missing a deep connection,(00:12:16):wondering if anyone truly sees you.(00:12:19):Loneliness can be really confusing and painful, but it's also something we can bring to God.(00:12:26):He is the one who promises to meet us where we are, even in our loneliness moments.(00:12:34):So what does loneliness look like?(00:12:36):Let's unpack a few of its characteristics.(00:12:40):One, there's emotional pain.(00:12:42):Loneliness often feels like an ache in the heart.(00:12:44):As I mentioned previously,(00:12:46):it's that empty space when you feel you long for connection,(00:12:50):but you can't seem to find it.(00:12:53):There's social discomfort.(00:12:55):Even if we're surrounded by people, loneliness often makes us feel isolated.(00:13:00):It isn't about being physically alone.(00:13:02):It's about that emotional(00:13:04):feeling of distance even from those who care about us and and from those who we(00:13:10):care about three there's a sense of being unseen or unheard oftentimes sometimes(00:13:17):loneliness can make us feel like our voices don't matter or our needs are going(00:13:22):unnoticed like we're invisible four there's just that longing for belonging(00:13:30):Really at its core, loneliness is a yearning for deep connection.(00:13:33):And that might be connection with the Lord, with family, friends, or a broader community.(00:13:40):But it's the desire to be known and loved just as we truly are.(00:13:45):And five, there's spiritual struggle.(00:13:48):For Christian women, loneliness can also bring a sense of spiritual distance.(00:13:53):We may perceive or feel as if God is far away or that our prayers are going unanswered.(00:14:00):Again,(00:14:00):it's just important for us to remember loneliness does not equate to abandonment,(00:14:06):not by God,(00:14:07):never by God.(00:14:12):I wonder if you recognize yourself in any of these statistics mentioned previously(00:14:18):or these characteristics of emotional pain,(00:14:21):a sense of being unseen or that deep longing for connection.(00:14:27):It's natural for us to feel this way at times.(00:14:29):I want to encourage you.(00:14:31):This feeling of loneliness does not define who you are.(00:14:35):You are beloved.(00:14:37):You are treasured.(00:14:38):You are seen.(00:14:40):God hears you and he promises to be near.(00:14:43):So let's look to scripture for a couple of examples of women who wrestled with(00:14:50):loneliness and then how God met them in their most isolated moments.(00:14:54):This is a quick overview of(00:14:56):of the stories of two women, Hagar and Ruth.(00:15:00):Hagar's story of isolation begins in Genesis 16.(00:15:06):She was mistreated by Sarah,(00:15:10):Abraham's wife,(00:15:12):and found herself fleeing into the wilderness,(00:15:15):pregnant and abandoned.(00:15:18):In that dark moment, though, God met her.(00:15:21):He spoke to her and he called her by name,(00:15:24):And he reminded her that she was seen and loved and wasn't forgotten.(00:15:32):And Hagar said to him, you are the God who sees me.(00:15:37):This story is such a beautiful reminder that even in our loneliness,(00:15:42):loneliest times,(00:15:43):God sees us and he meets us where we are.(00:15:49):Another story I find incredibly encouraging is Ruth's story.(00:15:53):Ruth had a story of both grief and hope.(00:15:56):See, she'd lost her husband and her community.(00:16:00):And she could have chosen to return to her community, to her own people who were Moabites.(00:16:07):But she chose to stay with her mother-in-law,(00:16:10):Naomi,(00:16:11):and embrace Naomi's God,(00:16:13):the Lord of the Bible.(00:16:17):And through that experience, Ruth's loneliness was met with divine provision.(00:16:22):And through her faithfulness,(00:16:23):and that of God's.(00:16:25):She found new purpose.(00:16:26):God used Ruth's season of grief to bring about something beautiful.(00:16:31):It was a story of redemption and restoration that leads directly to the lineage of Jesus Christ.(00:16:40):These women,(00:16:41):Hagar and Ruth,(00:16:43):remind us that loneliness doesn't have to be a permanent state of being.(00:16:48):God can meet us in that isolation.(00:16:51):He can heal our wounds.(00:16:53):He can use our experiences for something greater.(00:16:56):Whether you're going through a season of grief,(00:16:59):waiting,(00:17:00):or wondering where God is in your loneliness,(00:17:04):remind yourself of the truth that he is with you,(00:17:07):just as he was with these women of faith.(00:17:13):In our world,(00:17:13):loneliness can feel perhaps even more intense,(00:17:17):especially with the pressures of social media,(00:17:20):FOMO,(00:17:21):busyness,(00:17:22):comparison.(00:17:24):But here's the truth.(00:17:26):You are not alone.(00:17:28):Even in your most difficult, loneliest moment, God is with you.(00:17:35):You are seen, you are heard, and you are loved.(00:17:42):So here are a few ways we can begin to embrace loneliness through faith.(00:17:48):We can acknowledge the feelings(00:17:51):That's the first step in dealing with loneliness, recognizing it.(00:17:56):Don't suppress or ignore our feelings.(00:17:59):It's not a healthy way to manage life.(00:18:01):God can handle our honest emotions.(00:18:03):He wants to meet us in those places of vulnerability.(00:18:08):Two, we can draw near to God.(00:18:11):In our loneliness,(00:18:12):we might feel like withdrawing even from the Lord,(00:18:16):but what we need to do is press into him,(00:18:19):to draw close to him through prayer,(00:18:21):and worship and the word.(00:18:24):He promises to be near to us when we call on him.(00:18:27):He promises not to leave us as orphans.(00:18:31):So my encouragement for each of us is to let him comfort us just as he did for Hagar.(00:18:39):Three, we want to seek community.(00:18:43):This can be a real challenge.(00:18:44):It's a challenge for me.(00:18:45):And(00:18:48):Loneliness can lead us to retreat from people as well, but God calls us to community.(00:18:53):He made man for woman and woman for man and people for one another.(00:19:00):So we need to find ways to connect with others,(00:19:02):whether that's through church attendance,(00:19:05):maybe a new Bible study,(00:19:07):reaching out to a friend we haven't talked to for a long time,(00:19:11):maybe engaging in a new club or a hobby.(00:19:15):We just aren't meant to walk life alone.(00:19:19):Four, we need to grow our resilience.(00:19:22):And I addressed this in season one, episode three, Moving Beyond Trauma's Wasteland.(00:19:29):I'll put a link there.(00:19:30):I talk extensively about how we can grow our resilience and develop skills that(00:19:39):promote our health,(00:19:41):whether that's mental,(00:19:42):physical,(00:19:43):and beyond.(00:19:45):And five, we want to address God's purpose in our seasons.(00:19:49):So if we're walking in a place of loneliness right now,(00:19:53):let's look at it through the lens of it being an opportunity for God to do a deeper(00:19:59):work in us,(00:20:00):for us to trust him to use this time for growth and healing,(00:20:05):or maybe preparing us for something more,(00:20:08):just like he did with Ruth.(00:20:13):Friend, you are never alone in your loneliness.(00:20:15):God sees you.(00:20:17):He promises to be with you.(00:20:20):As you walk through this season and join me as we journey through the lives of(00:20:26):several different men and women from scripture and consider the impact of(00:20:31):loneliness in their lives,(00:20:33):let's remember that God is working in us.(00:20:38):May I pray for you?(00:20:41):Lord, you tell us in John 14, 18, I will not leave you as orphans.(00:20:46):I will come to you.(00:20:48):So today I lift up the woman struggling with loneliness.(00:20:51):Father, help her recognize she is your beloved daughter.(00:20:54):Word off any arrows the enemy may send her way.(00:20:58):Lead her into meaningful relationships with those who will see her value as she(00:21:04):seeks you to meet her needs and leans into relationship with others as she builds community,(00:21:14):Father God.(00:21:18):in your powerful and precious name.(00:21:20):Amen.(00:21:22):Thank you for joining me today on From Hardship to Hope.(00:21:27):I hope you've been encouraged and that you're reminded loneliness is a place where(00:21:32):we can meet God in powerful ways.(00:21:36):Two weeks from now, we're going to learn about(00:21:40):the loneliness of Hagar, as we explore both Genesis 16 and 21.(00:21:44):We'll consider God's presence and care during times of isolation,(00:21:50):how to seek God's comfort,(00:21:52):and then some insights that research has to share with us.(00:21:58):If this episode blessed you,(00:21:59):please share it with a friend or subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode.(00:22:05):I'm praying for you as you navigate life's challenges with hope(00:22:09):And I look forward to being with you again in our next episode. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

(00:00:21):Do you long for hope amid mental, emotional, or everyday struggles?(00:00:26):Join life coach,(00:00:27):author,(00:00:27):and trauma survivor Tammy Kennington on From Hardship to Hope,(00:00:31):the podcast for Christian women navigating the intersection of motherhood,(00:00:35):mental health,(00:00:36):and matters of faith.(00:00:38):If you need biblical support, encouragement, and actionable tips, this show is for you.(00:00:43):Welcome.(00:00:44):I'm your host, Tammy Kennington.(00:00:46):In today's episode, we'll explore effective methods to treat PTSD.(00:00:53):We did in the last episode consider one of those methods when we spoke with Sally(00:01:00):Miller about inner healing prayer.(00:01:03):And I'll put a link in today's episode if you haven't yet listened.(00:01:07):That's a very valuable and helpful episode.(00:01:11):But there are other methods.(00:01:14):that are commonly used to treat people who struggle with PTSD and or complex(00:01:21):post-traumatic stress disorder.(00:01:24):And that's our focus today.(00:01:26):The three types of intervention and healing methods I want for us to consider are(00:01:33):cognitive behavioral therapy,(00:01:35):eye movement desensitization and reprocessing,(00:01:39):and then prolonged exposure for PTSD.(00:01:44):So I've done a little bit of research about these.(00:01:47):I personally never attempted to integrate or reintegrate parts or deal with any of(00:01:54):my PTSD symptoms using prolonged exposure therapy,(00:01:58):but I do know people who have used it very effectively and have been in counseling(00:02:05):sessions on a regular basis with that particular method.(00:02:09):I did, as I've mentioned before,(00:02:13):begin utilizing EMDR or eye movement desensitization and reprocessing as one(00:02:20):technique to help me deal with my symptoms.(00:02:25):And of course,(00:02:27):cognitive behavioral therapy has been around the longest,(00:02:29):and that was the first type of therapy I ever was introduced to in my journey for healing.(00:02:38):So let's get started.(00:02:39):If you have not yet visited any of our earlier episodes and aren't familiar with(00:02:45):the common characteristics,(00:02:47):definition,(00:02:48):symptoms,(00:02:50):and causes of post-traumatic stress disorder or complex post-traumatic stress disorder,(00:02:56):I'll place a link in this episode.(00:02:58):You can just hop over to episode one, Hope for Those Who Live with PTSD, and(00:03:05):and learn a little bit more about all of those areas and really what PTSD actually is.(00:03:15):Today, let's start with discussing EMDR.(00:03:20):Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing always makes my tongue trip,(00:03:25):but that is a type of psychotherapy that helps people heal from those traumatic(00:03:30):memories and distressing experiences.(00:03:33):And by(00:03:36):either moving their eyes back and forth or listening to a rhythmic sound.(00:03:40):So in my situation,(00:03:43):my therapist held two clickers,(00:03:46):one in each hand,(00:03:48):and each of them had a light and I was to follow as she clicked.(00:03:54):Her approach incorporated both the sound and a visual representation.(00:03:58):The idea is that bilateral stimulation in the brain helps process a memory in conjunction with(00:04:08):the emotion and helps us to connect those.(00:04:13):The research seems to indicate that people who are dealing with PTSD were not able(00:04:20):to initially connect that cognitive process of the trauma with that emotional(00:04:27):process and that the two need to really be able to meld in order to heal.(00:04:33):Research does suggest that this is one very highly effective means of healing in(00:04:39):treating trauma across age groups.(00:04:42):One study, for instance, found that EMDR was(00:04:47):equally effective whether it was administered weekly in one-on-one sessions or(00:04:52):in intensive 10-day group sessions.(00:04:56):Some studies that I've read also reveal that up to six sessions can really help(00:05:03):mitigate those symptoms that people with which they're struggling.(00:05:08):So it is recognized as an effective treatment by the American Psychiatric Association and(00:05:15):and the Department of Defense,(00:05:17):which is interesting because many of our soldiers who've gone to the battlefield(00:05:24):repeatedly also struggle with PTSD.(00:05:29):Let's then consider prolonged exposure therapy.(00:05:33):This is a therapy in which people with PTSD(00:05:39):are exposed,(00:05:40):as one might suspect,(00:05:42):to the feelings and situations that actually inhibit them from recovering.(00:05:48):It helps us, in other words, to face our fears.(00:05:52):As we've learned, avoidance is one of the key ways(00:05:59):Hallmarks of PTSD,(00:06:00):avoidance of symptoms,(00:06:02):rather avoidance of those feelings,(00:06:04):avoidance of memories and so forth.(00:06:06):So by talking about details of the event or events and by confronting safe(00:06:12):situations that you've been avoiding,(00:06:15):you can minimize those symptoms and really gain more control over(00:06:20):your life.(00:06:21):This is also a type of therapy that's used to help people, for example, who struggle with OCD.(00:06:30):It helps them deal with those areas that they tend to avoid.(00:06:36):And it really helps us get to know more about(00:06:40):about what is motivating us.(00:06:44):According to the research I've been able to uncover,(00:06:49):you're often taught some breathing techniques to help manage anxiety.(00:06:53):And then you may even create a list of places,(00:06:57):people,(00:06:57):or things that cause or trigger those PTSD symptoms and those that you've stayed(00:07:03):away from.(00:07:05):Then you delve into(00:07:11):each one of those areas you've listed or noted within each session.(00:07:16):So you might tackle one at a time and slowly begin to increase that exposure to(00:07:22):that thought and be able then to recognize that there is control that you have and(00:07:28):that you will end up having fewer memories,(00:07:31):unwanted memories when you don't want to.(00:07:36):Then(00:07:38):Cognitive behavioral therapy, as we've mentioned, is very common.(00:07:44):It's a longstanding way for people to deal with any number of traumatic events.(00:07:50):And it helps to create safety for someone who struggles with PTSD symptoms.(00:07:57):And it really must happen with someone that you trust, with someone in a place that feels safe.(00:08:05):so that you can begin to heal.(00:08:07):The idea is that it helps us to clearly or objectively think about the trauma and(00:08:19):our lives before we were impacted by trauma,(00:08:21):if possible.(00:08:23):So it focuses on problem-solving skills that can help change our emotional and(00:08:28):physical reactions when we're triggered.(00:08:30):And that's really the biggest goal.(00:08:33):So we want to promote self-control,(00:08:36):a sense of control and trust,(00:08:38):develop healthier ways to respond to those times when we're triggered,(00:08:43):and then learn how to calm those emotions.(00:08:47):anxious-laden responses that our body has when we feel triggered.(00:08:53):So that is just a quick overview of each of those types of therapy.(00:08:58):There are other types that some people find very healing,(00:09:02):art therapy,(00:09:03):equine therapy,(00:09:06):having a pet,(00:09:08):a dog,(00:09:09):for example,(00:09:10):to help serve as a support for(00:09:16):Many times a support dog can help a person recognize when they're starting to become triggered.(00:09:21):So you might want to consider looking into those types of therapy as well.(00:09:28):I would like to talk for a minute about healing and therapy.(00:09:35):why our faith and ways in which our faith can really build those keys of resilience in our lives.(00:09:44):And I do talk a little bit about resilience in episode three, Moving Beyond Trauma's Wasteland.(00:09:51):And again, I'll link to that episode because we do learn more about other keys to resilience.(00:09:57):But one of those keys that research shows is very important is faith.(00:10:05):We know and have discussed the range of experiences David had,(00:10:10):the traumatic experiences with which he dealt.(00:10:12):We know trauma is not unfamiliar to people in Scripture.(00:10:17):It's been a part of the human experience since the fall.(00:10:21):Everyone from Cain and Abel to Joseph to Jesus died.(00:10:28):experienced some level of trauma and we are no different in this fallen world but(00:10:35):with our god we can live healthy lives we can move beyond the pain of trauma and(00:10:43):ptsd into a life as a whole functioning person who experiences joy and fulfillment(00:10:53):that's really my goal and hope and prayer for you(00:10:58):So let's talk a little bit about healthy coping mechanisms.(00:11:06):I mentioned deep breathing and how in exposure therapy,(00:11:09):many of those therapists will discuss the importance of deep breathing.(00:11:14):We know that deep breathing calms the portions of our brain that are impacted by(00:11:20):trauma that get triggered and take our prefrontal cortex away.(00:11:24):off of, it takes it out of commission when we're triggered.(00:11:30):And that's the part of our brain that we use for executive functioning skills that(00:11:35):helps us really process and think about situations from a cognitive standpoint.(00:11:41):But when our emotions are triggered,(00:11:43):when we feel all those feels in our body,(00:11:46):that's when the amygdala and the hippocampus and just the base of our neck,(00:11:54):our very base sorts of functions kick into gear(00:12:00):And it becomes difficult for us to think clearly.(00:12:04):So when we breathe deeply,(00:12:05):when we learn how to breathe during those moments,(00:12:09):it can help us calm down those areas of our brains.(00:12:15):and reconnect with that prefrontal cortex so that we start to engage again in thought.(00:12:22):And that's one of our key steps toward becoming healthy and whole.(00:12:29):So there are several kinds of breathing techniques.(00:12:32):Some are very simple that we can employ.(00:12:35):Anytime we feel that anxiety racing down our arms or our spines or our heart rate(00:12:40):increases or anger starts to take over,(00:12:45):One of these methods is the flower candle method.(00:12:48):And I teach this to my little students in elementary classrooms because it's effective for anybody.(00:12:55):So the way to do it is to breathe in for a count of four as if you're inhaling the(00:13:03):scent of a flower that's your favorite.(00:13:05):You might want to think of maybe coffee.(00:13:07):Maybe you're a coffee drinker.(00:13:09):Something that you imagine inhaling for a count of four.(00:13:14):And then you blow it out slowly as though you're breathing or blowing out a candle(00:13:20):on a birthday cake,(00:13:21):again,(00:13:22):for a count of four.(00:13:23):And you do this for a series of four times.(00:13:27):That kind of breathing technique will really help calm the body's response.(00:13:34):Other ways that we can incorporate healthy coping mechanisms are journaling and reading.(00:13:42):Journaling can be an incredibly healing way to put our thoughts down on paper,(00:13:48):to begin to connect with not just the event itself,(00:13:51):but to recognize the emotions that we felt,(00:13:54):the way our bodies were impacted.(00:13:57):And in fact, one of my writer friends, authors named Katie Lee has a great nonprofit called(00:14:07):in Salt Lake City called Story Haven Writers.(00:14:10):And she is investing in other women who are sharing their trauma stories by writing.(00:14:17):So you might want to check out Story Haven Writers and even study how to journal your story.(00:14:25):Or if that's something you already do, just(00:14:29):Just dive in.(00:14:31):Even in those moments when you're feeling triggered,(00:14:33):it can really release a lot of that pain and help us cope.(00:14:38):So far, we've talked a little bit about journaling as well as breathing.(00:14:46):And of course, we know the role of social support and community is a really important piece for healing.(00:14:53):And we did talk about that in our discussion earlier.(00:14:58):when we learned more about those factors that really foster resilience.(00:15:05):So I encourage you just to search out that social support and community.(00:15:12):And then finally,(00:15:14):I encourage that you have self-compassion,(00:15:17):that you have patience for yourself in the healing process.(00:15:20):We know it can be a long and arduous journey.(00:15:24):It's again like getting through that desert of(00:15:29):before you reach that promised land.(00:15:31):So just a few keys to self-care and growth.(00:15:37):I would like to share a little bit(00:15:43):from verses that could really have encouraged me.(00:15:47):Psalm 34, 17 reads,(00:16:03):Again, that's Psalm 34, 17.(00:16:05):And then Isaiah 43, 2.(00:16:07):When you pass through the waters, I will be with you.(00:16:10):When you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.(00:16:13):When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned.(00:16:16):The flames will not set you ablaze.(00:16:20):So I just encourage you,(00:16:22):friend,(00:16:23):if you are walking through this journey,(00:16:26):that you would consider one of these types of therapy if you aren't already(00:16:30):practicing(00:16:32):meeting with anybody.(00:16:33):If you don't yet have a counselor, you can hop over to Focus on the Family.(00:16:40):They have a long and extensive list of counselors at their website.(00:16:44):And you can even just Google psychiatrists or counselors in your area.(00:16:51):And I do encourage you, if you haven't already, to perhaps seek out a support group in your area or(00:17:01):Reach out to Crystal Sutherland at Journey to Heal.(00:17:05):She has online groups and groups in person.(00:17:09):It's a great ministry, and there are even groups for men.(00:17:13):So if you know a man who might benefit from support in a community,(00:17:19):then I suggest that you share this episode with them.(00:17:25):So if you don't mind, I'd just like to offer a prayer for you.(00:17:30):Jesus, I thank you that you are the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort.(00:17:35):We know you do comfort us in all our troubles.(00:17:38):We know, Jesus, that you suffered.(00:17:41):You know what abuse is, and you recognize our need for you to fill up our hurting spaces with your love.(00:17:52):Father God, I just pray healing over each woman listening today.(00:17:57):and ask that you would guide her to the community she needs, to the counselor who will help her to heal.(00:18:04):And we thank you that you don't leave us alone,(00:18:07):God,(00:18:07):but that you have professionals who can really support us,(00:18:11):and friends and family and church and community members who also want to help us(00:18:18):walk through our pain.(00:18:20):God, I ask that your healing hand would be on each woman listening today.(00:18:24):In your name I pray, amen.(00:18:28):Thank you for listening to From Hardship to Hope.(00:18:31):You can find the show notes for this episode, including links at TammyKennington.substack.(00:18:37):And if this show was a help to you,(00:18:40):I invite you to hop over to Apple Podcasts or Spotify and search from Hardship to Hope.(00:18:48):I'll also provide links there in Substack.(00:18:52):And if you would do me the kindness of providing a review,(00:18:56):that would help other people find out more about the show and to receive the(00:19:01):encouragement they need.(00:19:04):Thank you again for listening.(00:19:06):Until next time.Reads and ResourcesJourney to Heal Ministries (Crystal Sutherland) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

(00:00:19):Do you long for hope amid mental, emotional, or relational struggles?(00:00:24):Join life coach,(00:00:25):author,(00:00:25):and trauma survivor Tammy Kennington on From Hardship to Hope,(00:00:29):the podcast for Christian women navigating the intersection of motherhood,(00:00:33):mental health,(00:00:34):and matters of faith.(00:00:36):If you need biblical support, encouragement, and actionable tips, this show is for you.(00:00:42):Welcome.(00:00:44):On today's episode, we will consider safe spaces.(00:00:49):creating a place of safety as we heal.(00:00:52):In the previous episode,(00:00:57):when I met with special guest Sally Miller,(00:01:00):we introduced the idea of inner healing prayer as an effective means of counseling(00:01:08):and therapeutic recovery.(00:01:12):And during that episode, Sally told us that(00:01:16):When a person begins that journey at the beginning of each session,(00:01:21):he or she will be invited to imagine a place that feels very safe to them.(00:01:30):Some people will imagine maybe a place in the mountains.(00:01:34):Perhaps they think of the beach.(00:01:37):Maybe they think of their favorite chair in their home.(00:01:40):Whatever that safe space might be.(00:01:43):can represent a wonderful opportunity to step into and further healing.(00:01:52):So why is imagining a safe place so useful?(00:01:57):Why do trauma survivors benefit from this?(00:02:01):Well, most trauma survivors have experienced a lack of either physical and or emotional healing.(00:02:11):situations that were not safe.(00:02:14):And many of these have been ongoing over a period of years.(00:02:19):So what happens is that a person's limbic system is impacted.(00:02:25):And the limbic system is the part of the body that involves our flight and fight reaction, our response.(00:02:33):It releases stress hormones that flow throughout our body.(00:02:37):It increases blood flow to our muscles.(00:02:39):It makes us ready to respond to a threat.(00:02:44):But trauma like this can really impact the amygdala and hippocampus that are key(00:02:53):components of that limb extraction.(00:02:55):What happens is that those areas of the brain actually act as though they are an alarm system.(00:03:05):that is constantly going off.(00:03:06):It's hard to turn those parts of the limbic system off when one has experienced(00:03:13):chronic and ongoing stress or trauma.(00:03:16):So our goal then is to teach our own selves and to rewire our own neurobiology in(00:03:22):such a way that we create personal safety.(00:03:27):It can be really challenging because if we're feeling triggered by an event(00:03:33):at home or at work or any other place,(00:03:37):we may just respond with high levels of anxiety,(00:03:42):panic attacks,(00:03:44):a variety of different responses.(00:03:46):But we can learn to create that safety for ourselves.(00:03:52):So a couple of ways we can do this are to, first of all, say aloud to ourselves, I am safe.(00:03:59):In this moment, I am safe.(00:04:03):It helps us to think about the present moment,(00:04:07):even though our body is being triggered in such a way we're reminded,(00:04:12):even involuntarily or unconsciously,(00:04:15):of the past.(00:04:17):And of course, there's a lot of information and research that supports breathing techniques.(00:04:26):And some of the simple ways to incorporate this(00:04:30):I even teach to little children.(00:04:34):One of them is called flower candle breathing.(00:04:37):You inhale, imagining your favorite scented flower for a count of four.(00:04:44):Hold that breath for that four count and then blow it out gently as though you're(00:04:50):blowing out a birthday candle for another count of four and repeat this four times.(00:04:56):Pretty simple.(00:04:57):Some people,(00:04:58):rather than envisioning or pretending that they're smelling a flower,(00:05:03):imagine their favorite drink or coffee that they might enjoy.(00:05:10):So flower candle breathing is one easy technique, and another is called 5-4-3-2-1.(00:05:18):Many counselors will share these if you're in session with them.(00:05:22):But the 5-4-3-2-1 breathing technique involves looking around the room and noticing(00:05:31):five specific things that you can see,(00:05:35):hearing four different noises,(00:05:38):smelling three different items or environmental scents,(00:05:47):touching two specific items,(00:05:51):Maybe it's the chair you're sitting in.(00:05:53):Maybe it's a blanket on the couch or petting the dog.(00:05:58):And then one is tasting something.(00:06:01):So taste is very powerful.(00:06:04):And maybe you want to grab a mint.(00:06:07):Maybe you take a sip of your Perrier or something like that.(00:06:15):So 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 is also a very simple way(00:06:20):to work on that safe space, teaching your brain to rewire itself.(00:06:27):Beyond that, we can also invite Jesus into our safe space.(00:06:34):And if you feel comfortable doing that, then he can provide so much comfort for us in that moment.(00:06:43):If not, and you're still growing in that area, you can do like Sally suggested and think about(00:06:51):representing and introducing maybe a lamb into that safe space, a lamb representing Jesus.(00:07:00):Or maybe you consider the cross,(00:07:04):something that invites him into that sacred place of safety can be very healing and(00:07:11):comforting for many of us.(00:07:15):So creating safety for oneself is(00:07:18):very important, learning how to live in that place of safety.(00:07:24):The second thing that I recommend is building that safe community.(00:07:31):And we've talked about this before.(00:07:32):That was one area that was a real struggle for me.(00:07:37):While I often would see a counselor throughout the years or meet with somebody beyond that,(00:07:45):I didn't really have a safe community.(00:07:47):And this is so helpful for those of us who have lived through trauma and were(00:07:54):surviving and learning to heal.(00:07:56):Because when others understand our experience and reflect back empathetically their(00:08:08):just willingness to listen to our hearts and walk with us through that,(00:08:14):can prove to us that there are people we can trust.(00:08:20):And trusting people is often not our strong suit.(00:08:25):So where do we find groups like this?(00:08:28):I've mentioned before Journey to Heal by Crystal Sutherland.(00:08:33):It's a wonderful program that has even online groups that will meet with women,(00:08:41):And I believe they've even started groups for men now.(00:08:46):And so you can look up Journey to Heal and find a group either locally in your area or online.(00:08:55):You might also be able to find an inner healing prayer counselor or small group,(00:09:02):whether that's at church or in one of the resources we mentioned in the previous episode.(00:09:07):And(00:09:10):You can also start a group of your own.(00:09:13):You can create a meetup.(00:09:15):You can start a study in your own church that's for women who need healing.(00:09:24):And some basic tips for creating that sort of group involve creating a space for sharing information.(00:09:36):by establishing norms that encourage open communication,(00:09:39):honest communication,(00:09:41):and emphasizing respectful dialogue and active participation with the expectation(00:09:49):that the information shared in that group will remain confidential.(00:09:58):So, of course, the active participation is really important.(00:10:03):And that ensures everybody has an opportunity to be heard because so many of us have not been heard.(00:10:09):And we don't have practice oftentimes in even being heard,(00:10:17):of even speaking out and using our voices to share the heart of our lives.(00:10:23):So we want to create that environment where everyone feels comfortable speaking up.(00:10:28):And beyond that, we know that(00:10:32):We'll need to look for people in our everyday lives.(00:10:35):We'll need to turn to people in our everyday lives who we can trust and who will(00:10:41):respect what we've been through.(00:10:43):So one of the books I recommend that we all read,(00:10:49):regardless of whether we've experienced trauma or not,(00:10:52):would be a book called Safe People by Dr.(00:10:56):Henry Cloud and Dr.(00:10:58):John Townsend.(00:10:59):They're well known for their work in areas like this.(00:11:03):And they actually have a list of unsafe people and safe people on their website.(00:11:13):And this list actually includes specific characteristics of each of those types of people.(00:11:21):Now, none of us fit either category completely.(00:11:26):And I'm sure we've all been unsafe.(00:11:29):for somebody at one point or safe in another.(00:11:32):But here are in general some of the characteristics that really stand out to me.(00:11:38):An unsafe person is going to apologize but keeps repeating the same mistakes.(00:11:46):They won't work on their problems.(00:11:47):They demand trust.(00:11:49):They blame others.(00:11:50):They lie.(00:11:52):They avoid closeness.(00:11:53):They're not sympathetic.(00:11:55):They can't respect boundaries or set boundaries.(00:11:59):and they confront with guilt or shame or not at all.(00:12:04):They might be condemning.(00:12:06):They might be envious or self-sufficient or entitled, and they may be insecure with their attachments.(00:12:19):Safe people tend to admit their weaknesses.(00:12:23):They are spiritual but not religious, meaning they don't(00:12:28):live in law or judgment.(00:12:30):They're more open to feedback.(00:12:33):They apologize and change behavior.(00:12:36):They deal with their problems.(00:12:38):They try to connect with people.(00:12:40):They tell the truth.(00:12:43):And they're concerned about the needs of others.(00:12:47):In addition, they allow people to say no and they'll respect it.(00:12:51):They can set boundaries and they can respect boundaries.(00:12:56):And(00:12:57):They forgive.(00:12:58):Those are just a few of the characteristics that you'll find in this book,(00:13:09):Safe People,(00:13:11):again by Dr.(00:13:12):Henry Cloud and John Townsend.(00:13:17):So safety was often a rare commodity for children who are adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse.(00:13:27):but it is attainable.(00:13:30):You can create safety for yourself.(00:13:32):You can find safety in Christ.(00:13:35):You can develop and foster safe relationships in community within and without of(00:13:41):church and in your own family and circle of friends.(00:13:47):I hope this is helpful to you and an encouragement to you.(00:13:50):I will provide links and reads and resources(00:13:56):at the end of the post on substack.com, TammyKennington.substack.com.(00:14:02):And I want to thank you for listening to From Hardship to Hope.(00:14:07):You'll find the show notes in today's episode.(00:14:11):And in addition to that,(00:14:14):if this episode was helpful to you,(00:14:16):I would love it if you would leave a review for me at From Hardship to Hope on(00:14:23):Apple Podcasts.(00:14:25):Reads and ResourcesSafe People by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

00:00:02):Welcome to Hardship from Hope, Sally.(00:00:06):If you are just joining us for this episode, I'm so excited to introduce you to Sally Miller.(00:00:14):She is a wonderful woman who I've come to admire so much and Sally has a lot of(00:00:21):expertise in inner healing prayer.(00:00:24):Sally is also an author.(00:00:27):If you don't mind, Sally, would you share about your book and(00:00:33):then we can just dive in and you can share your story and(00:00:38):how you first learned about inner healing prayer.(00:00:42):Well, greetings, everybody.(00:00:44):I'm so glad to be here.(00:00:46):About three or four years ago, the Lord just put it on my heart to write a memoir.(00:00:57):I was not real happy about it.(00:00:59):It's a very...(00:01:06):a difficult thing to do, especially when it's around trauma.(00:01:13):But God was just so faithful in it.(00:01:17):He provided a group of writers, like a little writer's group.(00:01:23):And I had a love-hate relationship with them.(00:01:28):I hated what they would say about my writing.(00:01:32):But it was so helpful.(00:01:35):And then I did an online little thing and my spiritual director actually is an(00:01:43):incredible artist and she gave me some of her art for the cover.(00:01:47):It's called Beyond Beautiful.(00:01:51):The book is, but the art is called The Resurrection.(00:01:57):And that's really what I feel like the Lord did.(00:02:01):in my story. I've read it, Sally. Your cover is beautiful and it's(00:02:09):a story that so many can relate to it really touched my heart and I(00:02:15):will put a link to your book in the show notes for our listeners. (00:02:22):Would you like to share a little bit about how you first learned about inner the(00:02:26):inner healing process? (00:02:30):It's my story,(00:02:32):of course,(00:02:33):the way it plays in,(00:02:35):but I was diagnosed about 35 years old with major depression,(00:02:42):the kind where you can't get out of bed.(00:02:45):And ensued doctors, drugs, psychiatrists, counselors, everything.(00:02:52):My husband and I said I was depressed because I was sick.(00:02:58):But the doctor said I was sick because I was depressed.(00:03:03):So I changed doctors because I did not like hearing that at all.(00:03:09):But this was the bedridden kind of depression.(00:03:13):My worst memory was braiding my daughter's hair every morning for school from bed(00:03:21):because I just couldn't function.(00:03:24):And eventually during counseling, I began to have memories of physical, sexual, and spiritual abuse.(00:03:33):And then more and more just kept coming to light that I had no idea about.(00:03:41):You talked about not having memories of childhood in your last podcast.(00:03:46):And my friends would talk about when they were two years old, they did blah, blah, blah, you know.(00:03:52):And I'm like,(00:03:53):Wow, you know, I hardly had any.(00:03:57):There were two or three that, you know, stood out, maybe a handful.(00:04:03):Yes.(00:04:05):From about three years old to 13.(00:04:09):Yes.(00:04:09):I really didn't have much at all.(00:04:12):I was conscious of the severity of my father's physical abuse.(00:04:19):He was a very severe authoritarian man.(00:04:25):but there was much more that I was totally unaware of and I got in some good(00:04:33):Christian counseling for 12 to 15 years and it was pretty much once a week and(00:04:41):sometimes twice got really expensive and I got better but I did not get well and I(00:04:49):was determined to be well and(00:04:52):And then God brought me to a counselor that was just beginning to use Inner Healing Prayer.(00:04:59):And that's when I really began to get to the bottom of all that had happened.(00:05:07):I mean, the 12 or 15 years of counseling prepared me for what I was about to enter into.(00:05:14):Yes.(00:05:16):But I spent about five more years(00:05:20):Excuse me.(00:05:23):Again, once or twice a week.(00:05:26):And it was pretty horrific memories.(00:05:30):And I thought it was never going to end.(00:05:34):But I finally convinced her that I thought I might be dissociative.(00:05:40):And God gives children this incredible gift of dissociating mentally and emotionally.(00:05:48):kind of leaving your body and watching what is happening.(00:05:53):And that's why some memories can get into your unconscious and your fully aware of them.(00:06:05):The marriage suffered three separations and it was awful for about 10 years.(00:06:13):And the breakup actually in most marriages could be resolved if people would(00:06:18):address their own work,(00:06:20):right?(00:06:21):Do their own inner healing.(00:06:25):Your history is just being triggered by the other person.(00:06:34):And that is unintentional, and often we don't even know that's what's going on, right?(00:06:40):Exactly, exactly.(00:06:42):I had no idea, right?(00:06:47):And it's interesting.(00:06:48):He never did much counseling.(00:06:50):I mean, he did some here and there, but he didn't do the kind of work that I did.(00:06:58):And we were both coming out of it.(00:07:01):horrible stories, just horrible stories.(00:07:05):So anyway,(00:07:09):when I got with that counselor,(00:07:11):she had started doing the inner healing prayer,(00:07:15):like I said,(00:07:16):just beginning.(00:07:18):And so I kind of tracked with her.(00:07:26):and we kind of grew in it together.(00:07:31):But that was probably my basic introduction to it.(00:07:40):Thank you.(00:07:41):That's a lot of time to go through that journey and walk through that journey.(00:07:47):But it would never end.(00:07:50):Yes.(00:07:50):Never.(00:07:51):That's when I told the Lord I had(00:07:53):More tears in a bottle than anybody else.(00:07:58):Wow.(00:07:58):Yeah.(00:08:00):What are the components of inner healing prayer?(00:08:03):And how do you believe it differs from other methods that are used to help with trauma?(00:08:10):Okay.(00:08:12):I had, you know, cognitive behavioral therapy that 12 years.(00:08:18):I even had some EMDR.(00:08:21):And they were all helpful, you know.(00:08:24):to a point, but then I would plateau with all the counselors.(00:08:30):I would just hit this place where they couldn't help me anymore.(00:08:35):And talk about discouraging.(00:08:38):That was discouraging.(00:08:41):But the elements are, I'll kind of go through the steps of it, but it's simply as a caregiver,(00:08:51):You're being fully present to a person and positioning them to present them to the(00:09:00):healing power of Jesus,(00:09:02):right?(00:09:05):And hear from him for themselves.(00:09:10):And that's how the healing takes place.(00:09:13):It's paying attention to what he is doing.(00:09:18):and allowing him to do the healing the way he chooses.(00:09:23):And that's so different than most counseling.(00:09:30):Like when I did it with people,(00:09:32):I would never ever suggest anything or lead them or guide them in any ways that I(00:09:42):was thinking.(00:09:44):Because only he knows what the person needs and can bring the healing in the(00:09:51):emotional space where they experience the trauma.(00:09:56):So that's kind of introductory.(00:09:58):But there's six steps that I would work through with people,(00:10:04):which is a whole seminar,(00:10:06):by the way,(00:10:07):or a whole training that people go through.(00:10:10):But I'll just be brief and highlight each one.(00:10:14):So the first step I imagine,(00:10:16):I help them imagine a safe place in their imagination,(00:10:22):which is a sacred imagination.(00:10:25):And they can be there alone at first and just get comfortable.(00:10:31):It can be an imaginary place or a real place that they just love to be.(00:10:37):Mine was always a waterfall and a brook(00:10:42):And I'd be sitting beside it in the grass or on a rock or something.(00:10:47):A lot of people had the ocean.(00:10:49):I did.(00:10:50):Mine was the beach.(00:10:52):Yeah.(00:10:54):So you imagine that safe place.(00:10:58):And then if they want to, if the person wants to...(00:11:02):I ask them if they want to invite Jesus into that place.(00:11:07):And some people will not.(00:11:09):Oh, that's interesting.(00:11:11):Yeah, they don't feel safe with Jesus.(00:11:15):So I ask them maybe if they see like a lamb or something, a flower that would represent his presence.(00:11:26):And they can usually do that.(00:11:28):But then...(00:11:31):When they're ready, I ask him to tell them his thoughts toward them in that place.(00:11:41):And it is always,(00:11:43):every time,(00:11:44):the sweetest,(00:11:46):gentlest,(00:11:47):kindest voice of love,(00:11:51):of compassion,(00:11:54):encouragement,(00:11:55):just what you would imagine his heart towards them.(00:12:01):And there's lots of silence in a session,(00:12:05):uh,(00:12:07):because the person is listening and I'm just sitting there while they listen.(00:12:13):But,(00:12:14):um,(00:12:16):at that point I might ask if there was a recent event,(00:12:23):uh,(00:12:23):where they were,(00:12:24):had an overreaction or an underreaction.(00:12:30):And I would ask Jesus if he wants to highlight an emotion that happened recently.(00:12:39):And I want to emphasize that about paying attention to your reactions.(00:12:46):Because if your reaction is not equal to an event, you can know your history's been triggered.(00:12:55):Right?(00:12:56):Yes.(00:12:56):You might have an overreaction is what we think of, but you also might have an underreaction.(00:13:03):I would always shut down.(00:13:06):Just go silent, get safe, whatever I needed to do away from the situation.(00:13:13):I could never talk it out or write through in the moment.(00:13:20):So I asked the Lord to highlight the emotion that came up in that event.(00:13:28):And then the question becomes, when was the first time they felt that same emotion?(00:13:37):And would Jesus help them to go back to that place where they first felt that emotion?(00:13:45):And sure enough,(00:13:48):two years old, four years old, 10 years old, something of that same emotion happened.(00:13:58):And for me, I actually had memories in the womb.(00:14:05):Wow.(00:14:06):Yeah.(00:14:07):Because even in the womb, you have an awareness of your surroundings, like hearing people fighting.(00:14:15):Yes.(00:14:15):Noises, yelling, stuff like that.(00:14:19):And you take that into your spirit, right?(00:14:25):So we go for that root place where they first felt that.(00:14:30):And then...(00:14:33):What's important is,(00:14:35):I mean the memory's important,(00:14:38):but what's more important is what you came to believe about yourself,(00:14:45):about others,(00:14:46):or about God in that memory.(00:14:51):And that's huge, just really huge.(00:14:54):And most of us take in lies.(00:14:58):about ourselves about others or about god in that place but there's also things(00:15:04):like pronouncements something somebody spoke over you like you'll never amount to(00:15:10):anything yes right you're stupid whatever it was um and you can also be carrying a(00:15:19):burden(00:15:21):Right?(00:15:21):A burden that you're not meant to carry.(00:15:24):Like, especially if you have a single mother, you might become the spouse in a marriage, right?(00:15:33):Yes.(00:15:34):And that's a burden you're not meant to carry at all.(00:15:43):In my situation, I felt responsible for my little brother.(00:15:54):Okay, so you had to parent him.(00:15:57):I felt that I did(00:16:03):Out of those beliefs, you know, you might make vows also.(00:16:08):Like, I vowed to never be like my mother.(00:16:13):But out of those beliefs, vows, lies, burdens...(00:16:19):whatever, you develop a strategy to do life.(00:16:25):And so my strategy was if I was perfect enough, I would not get hurt.(00:16:35):What a hard thing to live up to.(00:16:38):Well, I could do it until I was about 35.(00:16:40):Right.(00:16:41):And then(00:16:44):It's a gift from God to let it all fall apart, right?(00:16:49):To not be able to do it anymore.(00:16:51):So we're dependent on him.(00:16:56):But once we've identified the beliefs in the process again,(00:17:03):I say a prayer with the person and we break off the lies.(00:17:09):So I just say a prayer like I break the lie that(00:17:14):blah, blah, blah, or I break the vow that I'll never be like my mother.(00:17:19):And I pray some other things in that prayer, but they just repeated after me.(00:17:23):And after we're done breaking it, the healing comes when I ask him to reveal truth about(00:17:35):in the place where they came to believe the lies, the vows, the pronouncements, whatever it was.(00:17:44):And he always, every single time, and I've met with, I think, at least 100 people over the years.(00:17:56):It's exactly what they need to hear.(00:18:00):And see, I could never come up with that on my own.(00:18:03):I could tell them.(00:18:05):what they should believe, right?(00:18:08):And it might be the right thing, but when they hear it from Him in that place, it is profound healing.(00:18:20):And only He can do it.(00:18:25):And I say it's like having a foundation of building blocks.(00:18:30):So each one is a lie about pronouncement, strategy, whatever.(00:18:36):And you pull them out and you replace them with truth.(00:18:42):Right?(00:18:44):And then you have a foundation of truth.(00:18:48):I love that.(00:18:48):That's so true.(00:18:51):It's exactly what it is.(00:18:55):So that's kind of a brief overview of the process.(00:19:00):And it's hard work for that person, isn't it?(00:19:04):Very.(00:19:05):I call it emotional surgery.(00:19:10):Because you can come out of there just wiped clean.(00:19:14):Yes, I remember that feeling just being exhausted.(00:19:18):Exhausted.(00:19:21):Because there's a lot that you're just digging through and a lot of pain that(00:19:24):you're sharing with the Lord and that one other person.(00:19:29):Yes.(00:19:30):But it's so freeing.(00:19:32):It might take you a couple days to recover.(00:19:36):Yes.(00:19:38):And sometimes...(00:19:41):When it's really a significant session or memory or whatever, I ask them to commemorate it somehow.(00:19:52):And they'll always know how they want to commemorate it.(00:19:56):I mean, God will show them, like, buying a little something.(00:20:02):Or if you're an artist, just painting something.(00:20:09):will remind them yes that was then that's a beautiful idea. So(00:20:21):who benefits from inner healing prayer and can you expand on that a bit? I(00:20:31):really literally say everyone(00:20:35):No one got through childhood without some kind of trauma or dysfunction at least.(00:20:43):And I also just say we are all on a spectrum.(00:20:48):Might be mild and not much there but might be real severe.(00:20:54):Yes.(00:20:57):Yeah, I would agree with that.(00:21:00):Everyone does have some level of trauma.(00:21:02):I mean, the science backs that up.(00:21:04):There are so many statistics about it.(00:21:07):It's interesting because children raised in homes where trauma exists as part of(00:21:14): daily life will typically have multiple forms of trauma—(00:21:21):adverse childhood experiences and the way that it impacts their lives is it's(00:21:28):incredibly significant whether we're talking about emotional mental health or(00:21:34):physical struggles there's just so much. Are there (00:21:45):any final thoughts you would like to share with the listeners?(00:21:51):Well, I want to say that the very best training is receiving for yourself.(00:22:00):Yes.(00:22:01):Right.(00:22:02):Which we both have.(00:22:03):Yes.(00:22:04):That's the best training to help someone else.(00:22:10):There's a couple organizations that I recommend.(00:22:15):Nationally, it's Terry Wardle and his Healing Care Ministries.(00:22:21):Another one is Deeper Walk International.(00:22:26):I got training through both of them.(00:22:28):The Navigators locally actually do a two-day seminar and I got training there too.(00:22:38):And Renee Skruitzky with Soaring Wings, she's also local and I mentored her in the process.(00:22:49):But she's someone I really trust.(00:22:52):But the main reason for doing it is your intimacy with Jesus.(00:23:00):Yes, yes.(00:23:01):I absolutely agree.(00:23:04):During inner healing prayer was the first time I ever admitted to him that I was angry with him.(00:23:15):And that took a lot of...(00:23:17):To work through.(00:23:18):Right.(00:23:19):But it does draw you so much closer.(00:23:21):And when you see him able to reintegrate those parts of you that really used to be(00:23:29):all one,(00:23:29):it is miraculous.(00:23:32):It is.(00:23:33):Right?(00:23:35):Right in front of your eyes.(00:23:37):It's such a privilege to sit with someone.(00:23:40):Tammy and just...(00:23:44):Yeah, it's just so humbling.(00:23:50):His heart is to remove anything and everything that hinders, blocks, or interferes with that intimacy.(00:23:58):And so that's why I could say it was a gift that he allowed me at 35 not to be able(00:24:04):to continue to function in the perfectionist performance strategy,(00:24:11):right?(00:24:12):Yes.(00:24:12):Right.(00:24:14):And I always say he wants to speak to you more than you want to listen.(00:24:20):That's wonderful, and that's true.(00:24:24):We have to slow down intentionally to listen.(00:24:28):And if you're miserable, that's not what God has for you.(00:24:33):There's so much help, hope, and healing available.(00:24:37):Just pursue it, and he will lead you where you need to go.(00:24:41):I didn't know where to go for help, but he did it for me.(00:24:47):And he came to bind up the brokenhearted and set the captives free.(00:24:53):And when I cried out, he more than met me.(00:24:59):He comes looking for the ones that... Scripture tells us he will not snuff out a candle, right?(00:25:08):Yes.(00:25:09):And he will not break the bent reed.(00:25:12):Yeah, that is truly his heart.(00:25:15):And people like you and me have experienced his restoration in our lives.(00:25:24):I just want people to know that's there for them.(00:25:28):Thank you so much for sharing about that.(00:25:31):You're very welcome.(00:25:32):I'm going to plug in those links about healing so people can reach out to those(00:25:39):different resources you shared.(00:25:43):So look for those on the Substack podcast if you're a listener.(00:25:48):And would you like to(00:25:52):finish up by praying for our listeners today?(00:25:55):Sure.(00:25:56):Thank you.(00:25:57):Yes.(00:26:02):Well, Lord, I just know that you see the listener today.(00:26:11):Lord, you see the lost sheep and we are all lost in one way or another.(00:26:23):And so thank you that you seek out each and every one,(00:26:30):each and every individual,(00:26:32):Lord,(00:26:33):that your heart is toward them and your heart is for them.(00:26:40):And you want to accomplish great and mighty things,(00:26:44):Lord,(00:26:45):and help them to walk in their purpose,(00:26:49):what they were born for.(00:26:52):for what you have planned for them, Lord, and that abundant life is available to them.(00:27:01):So thank you.(00:27:04):Thank you for Tammy and her heart to bring this podcast to others and help those who are hurting.(00:27:13):In Jesus' name, amen.(00:27:15):Amen.Reads and ResourcesBeyond Beautiful by Sally MillerA Guide for Listening and Inner-Healing Prayer: Meeting God in the Broken Places by Rusty RustenbachHealing Care Ministries with Terry WardleHealing Care House with Renee Scruitsky This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome to this season’s fifth episode. This session will prove helpful to anyone living with trauma—not just those with PTSD. If you know someone who would benefit from this scriptural look at overcoming harmful thought patterns and/or habits, would you consider sharing?You’ll find a transcript and closed captions at www.tammykennington.substack.com or on Apple.Thanks for listening.Peace and grace,TammyIf this was helpful to you, would you subscribe?24:12You can find me at TammyKennington.substack.com.24:17That's TammyKennington.substack.com.24:20And you can also listen to the previous episodes in this first season.24:25I look forward to our next episode and appreciate you and will be praying for you.24:35Thanks again.0:24Resources and Reads:You can listen to my Healed playlist here. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

I hope today’s show provides the encouragement you need in your journey toward healing. Helpful resources are listed below.Reads and Resources* Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation: Skills Training for Patients and Therapists by Suzette Boon, Kathy Steele, and Onno Van Der Hart* His Healing Light Ministries* EMDR Resource with a link to practitioners* Self-care Kit Suggestion ListPlease share this episode if you know someone who might benefit. Also, feel free to leave a message at (719) 425-9911 if you would like me to answer a question about either (C)PTSD or DID or address another topic in an upcoming episode. Peace and grace,Tammy This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

In today’s episode, we learn about:* the God-Who-Sees and what that means for trauma survivors.* the future of promise God has for you.* the importance of leaving Egypt behind.* becoming a survivor instead of a victim.* how to develop a warrior mindset.* keys to resilience.I’d love to know—what action step will you take this week to build resilience? If you’d like, download a weekly mood diary to get started. Thanks for listening to From Hardship to Hope. Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome to From Hardship to Hope—the podcast for Christian women navigating the intersection of motherhood, mental health, and matters of faith.Recommended resourceJourney to Heal: Seven Essential Steps of Recovery for Childhood Survivors of Childhood Sexual AbuseShow NotesDo you long for hope amid mental, emotional, or relational struggles?0:05Join life coach,0:06author,0:06and trauma survivor Tammy Kennington on From Hardship to Hope,0:10the podcast for Christian women navigating the intersection of motherhood,0:14mental health,0:15and matters of faith.0:16If you need biblical support, encouragement, and actionable tips, this show is for you.0:22In today's episode, we'll discuss King David's trauma and what it has to do with you.0:31I grew up with a giant in my life.0:33He represents the trauma that's tracked my steps from childhood into adulthood.0:40And I'm guessing that if you've suffered abuse,0:43whether as a child or adult,0:45that you too have a giant or two of your own.0:49My giant,0:51as I said,0:51was my stepfather,0:52a six-foot-four former Marine with a tattoo of a bulldog on his upper arm.1:00and a handlebar mustache.1:02Prone to drunkenness,0:29he would crash through the door of our trailer,1:07shouting curses and swearing and asking,1:13where are those kids?1:14I never wanted to be their father anyway.1:16You see,1:17my stepfather had adopted my brother and I shortly after my parents divorced and my1:22mom remarried.1:24And it wasn't long before his true colors showed, before carousing became1:30a regular habit.0:38And beatings became part of what my brother and I witnessed night upon night as our1:40mother cowered on the floor,1:42battered and bruised.1:44But not only that, this stepfather threatened us with violence and we feared him greatly.1:52And he would sneak into my bedroom night after night and commit unholy acts2:01Well, this giant of mine and the giants in your lives will stand in front of God.2:08They will face him and there will be justice,2:11whether or not it happens here on this earth or in the world that's to come.2:18But this story always reminds me,1:31my story reminds me a bit of David and Goliath because I was just this young child2:27and teen2:28trying to stand up to a giant in whose presence I absolutely crouched in fear.2:37He twisted my stomach in knots.2:38I'm guessing you probably experienced that.2:42And I struggled between loving and hating him.2:45I wanted to love him because he was the man representing fatherhood in my life.2:50But at the same time, he did horrible things.2:53It was so confusing.And this giant, Goliath, was almost 10 feet tall, larger than life.3:05And David was just a pubescent boy going to the battlefield, intending to give his brothers food.3:12But instead, he ended up fighting this man, going against Goliath, because Goliath had mocked God.3:22He had mocked the Israelite troops.3:26David was intent upon becoming a victor,3:31he wasn't going to allow the giant in his life to have victory over those who3:36believed in the Lord.3:38And that's how I like to look at my trauma.3:42You see, for the longest time, I held God responsible for the unholy acts of an unholy man.3:49And I know just like Goliath,3:51My stepfather did not hold either men or women or children in any sort of regard,3:57and he certainly didn't have any regard for the Lord or fear of him.4:02But I refuse to give the enemy the ability to shut off any opportunity for4:11spiritual relationship with my father in heaven because of the sin committed4:16against me at the hands of that giant.4:20So we as survivors have a battlefield of our own and we can make a decision.3:41Are we going to agree with the enemy that God is incapable of moving,4:33that the enemy is greater than the one who sits in heaven?4:39We know the truth.4:41He who is in us is greater than He who is in the world.4:48This leads me to4:50a story of the 12 disciples and Jesus.4:54They too struggled with Christ's identity.4:56They struggled to understand his goodness,4:58his mercy,4:59his love,5:00his compassion,5:02even though they witnessed healing miracle upon healing miracle,4:27the lame walking,5:07the blind seeing,5:10the dead rising.5:13One day Jesus turned to his disciples and asked them, who do you say that I am?5:19Some of them responded, some say you're Elijah.5:22Some say John the Baptist.5:24And again, he said, Who do you say that I am?5:29And Simon Peter looked at him and said, you are Jesus Christ, the Lord.5:34He knew Jesus was the Messiah.5:37And that is the same person who has loved us from the beginning of our lives and5:05even before,5:45from the time of our conception.5:47And he does have good things planned for us.5:51So when we can hold to who Christ's true identity is,5:55refute the lies of the enemy,5:58then we'll start to tear down that giant in our lives.6:02The giant represented by one or more individuals.6:07who thrust all of that trauma into our lives we can conquer because you see god is6:14not a God with a little g he is a God who is all-powerful, almighty, and who is able6:23to do anything that we ask or imagine—even more than we ask or imagine.6:31I sometimes wonder if David's trauma drove him to his knees.5:44Not only did he have this battle in which he conquered the giant, but he was the least of his family.6:43He was the shepherd boy who was discarded as not being important enough to summon6:49when the priest Samuel came to anoint one of the young men as king.6:54He was overlooked.6:57He suffered as a refugee.7:00He suffered as he ran from Saul, his enemy, who wanted to kill him for years.7:06He hid in caves.7:09He was in battle upon battle.6:34He was distraught when one of his sons, Amnon, sexually assaulted his daughter, Tamar.7:21He suffered and grieved the loss of three sons,7:25an infant,7:27Amnon,7:28and the brother who killed him,7:29Absalom.7:31He rescued two wives from kidnapping.7:36David's life was littered with trauma.7:40But we can see in Scripture,7:42particularly in the Psalms,7:44that David,7:45who's known as the “man after God's heart”,7:11turned to God in every situation of his life.7:53He shared his despair, his depression, his discouragement.7:59He praised God.8:00despite it all, and is just an incredible model of hope for us.8:07Not only that, but God weaved hope throughout David's life.8:13For someone who went from shepherd to king, rags to riches, there was a lot of suffering.8:17But that suffering was also accompanied by great joy.8:21That's the odd thing about life.8:23We can have joy and suffering7:47and one doesn't negate the other.8:27But the two-bit shepherd received a holy blessing, an anointing as king.8:34God promised him an eternal home.8:36And we see David's reflection on that in Psalm 23.8:42God also comforted him with his presence.8:45He comforted him with a wise wife named Abigail.8:50God surrounded him with children.8:54So like David,8:57I don't want to miss God's mercy,8:59his love for me,9:00because I can see when I step back from the quilt of my life,9:04I can see those threads of hope woven throughout.8:25And some of them shimmer less brightly than others.9:11Some9:12are difficult to see, and I have to peer closely.9:14But if I think about it,9:16I remember the pastor who spoke encouragement into my life,9:22the basketball coach who believed that I could do good things,9:28that I could accomplish,9:29not because I was a good athlete,9:31because I really wasn't,9:32but because he cared about kids.9:36He put an English teacher in my life who knew me from the time I was a little girland who told me that I could do things with my writing.(00:09:46):She believed in me.(00:09:48):God placed people in my life to speak hope into my heart, to speak truth about who Christ is.(00:09:57):And I wonder who those people were in your life.(00:10:02):Where were those threads of hope that you experienced?(00:10:08):We know that(00:10:09):that trauma leads to a broken heart.(00:10:12):And scripture tells us that God is close to the brokenhearted, that he binds up our wounds.(00:10:20):And that's where we can find our greatest comfort.(00:10:24):When we turn to him like David did,(00:10:27):we can see so much transformation in everything from our health to our heart to(00:10:35):to our emotional security, to our eternal salvation.(00:10:42):So that's my encouragement to you today.(00:10:45):Not only that you would take your big T trauma to the Lord,(00:10:50):but those smaller traumas that now follow behind,(00:10:54):the depression,(00:10:55):the shame,(00:10:57):the self-loathing,(00:10:59):the fear,(00:11:00):the anxiety,(00:11:01):all of those things that are smaller representations(00:11:05):of the larger giant in our lives, the smaller giants that track our steps.(00:11:11):We can take those to our Father who is able to sanctify,(00:11:17):to alter and transform and radically change that which the enemy intended for evil(00:11:24):and turn it to good.(00:11:28):I'd like to let you know about one wonderful resource written by a woman named Crystal Sutherland.(00:11:35):It's called The Journey to Heal, Seven Essential Steps of Recovery.(00:11:42):And I'll link to it in our show notes.(00:11:46):And for your actionable tip today, I recommend you create a self-care kit.(00:11:54):I found some great photo boxes at Hobby Lobby.(00:11:57):They're really pretty, but you could choose a storage box, a shoe box, anything that you want.(00:12:03):And in that box, in that(00:12:05):Self-care kit,(00:12:06):you can include things such as notes from people who love you,(00:12:12):pictures of people that are meaningful,(00:12:16):events that were meaningful to you,(00:12:18):things that will encourage your heart,(00:12:19):favorite scriptures.(00:12:21):You could create a list of your favorite healing worship songs,(00:12:27):perhaps a journal for journaling when you're struggling with all the emotions that(00:12:32):come with surviving trauma.(00:12:35):Maybe some chocolate because that can boost serotonin.(00:12:39):So many different things you can include in a self-care kit.(00:12:43):I'll create a list and post it as a downloadable for you in these show notes.(00:12:49):But this week,(00:12:51):why don't you run to the store,(00:12:54):go to your Hobby Lobby or dig in your closet,(00:12:56):find a box and start collecting things that will be an encouragement to you.(00:13:02):when you're struggling with the smaller giants that are left from that trauma.(00:13:08):And today, if I could just end with a prayer for you.(00:13:13):Father, we come to you today struggling with all of the giants of our past, Lord.(00:13:21):God, we know that you can enable us to conquer the giant just as you enabled David.(00:13:27):And even though our giant may no longer be in front of us,(00:13:30):Father, we ask for spiritual healing.(00:13:33):We ask for a spiritual conquering.(00:13:35):Lord,(00:13:35):we ask for healing in all of the wounded places of our heart and soul and mind,(00:13:41):that you,(00:13:42):Lord,(00:13:42):would soothe us with the balm of Gilead,(00:13:44):that your presence would calm us,(00:13:47):and that we would turn to you.(00:13:49):We would not allow the enemy to have a final victory,(00:13:51):but we would cling to the identity of who you are,(00:13:55):a good God,(00:13:57):who sent his son,(00:13:58):Lord,(00:13:58):to sacrifice his life for ours,(00:14:01):that we might have eternal and abundant joy and peace in the kingdom to come.(00:14:06):Because we know on that day when we enter your presence once and for all,(00:14:10):that you will wipe away every tear from our eyes and these things will all fade.(00:14:16):So, Lord, we just come to you asking for your mercy today.(00:14:19):I pray your blessing for each woman listening.(00:14:24):In your name we pray.(00:14:25):Amen.(00:14:27):Thank you so much for listening to From Hardship to Hope.(00:14:31):You can find the show notes for this episode, including links at TammyKennington.substack.(00:14:38):And if this show was an encouragement to you or you believe it will encourage(00:14:42):someone else,(00:14:43):would you share it?(00:14:44):And while you're at it, why not subscribe?(00:14:47):I look forward to seeing you in two weeks.(00:14:51):Peace and grace to you.14:53 So thank you so much for listening to From Hardship to Hope.14:31You can find the show notes for this episode, including links at TammyKennington.substack.14:38And if this show was an encouragement to you or you believe it will encourage14:42someone else,14:43would you share it?14:44And while you're at it, why not subscribe?14:51Peace and grace to you.0:54If you missed the first podcast episode, Hope for Those Who Live with PTSD/CPTSD, you can find it here. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome to the first season of From Hardship to Hope—the podcast for Christian women navigating the intersection of motherhood, mental health, and matters of faith. If you’re looking for Biblical insight and actionable tips, this show is for you. Two resources I mention in today’s episode that may prove helpful are The Wounded Heart by author and counselor, Dan Allender, and Healing Every Day by Mary DeMuth—one of my favorite writers who happens to be a survivor. Please join me in two weeks for our next episode, The Battle Within: King David's Trauma Struggle (and Yours).Peace and grace,TammyShownotes(00:00:03):Do you long for hope amid mental, emotional, or relational struggles?(00:00:08):Join life coach,(00:00:09):author,(00:00:09):and trauma survivor Tammy Kennington on From Hardship to Hope,(00:00:13):the podcast for Christian women navigating the intersection of motherhood,(00:00:16):mental health,(00:00:17):and matters of faith.(00:00:19):If you need biblical-based support, encouragement, and actionable tips, this show is for you.(00:00:24):I'm your host,(00:00:25):Tammy Kennington,(00:00:26):and welcome to today's episode in which we'll be discussing post-traumatic stress disorder,(00:00:33):the trauma wound that makes a difference in so many lives and affects so many people.(00:00:41):So let's get going.(00:00:44):I thought I was going crazy.(00:00:47):I'd been married for several years to my high school.(00:00:49):Sweetheart had a wonderful marriage, two little ones running around home.(00:00:56):I adored being a mom.(00:00:58):We had our first house, good friends, a strong church community.(00:01:02):And internally I was at complete unrest, completely overwhelmed by anxiety.(00:01:13):at times so low,(00:01:15):I considered the possibility of suicide and even began to research how people might(00:01:24):die by committing suicide.(00:01:27):It was a very frightening time.(00:01:30):While I dealt with some of these issues before, I'd been able to push them aside.(00:01:34):And I really thought that once I had my life in place and everything(00:01:42):Running smoothly, I could forget the past.(00:01:44):I could forget the horrors of my childhood.(00:01:48):I could leave those things behind.(00:01:50):But I was so wrong.(00:01:52):I drug a lot of baggage with me into marriage and motherhood.(00:01:57):And it impacted my family in ways that absolutely still break my heart today.(00:02:05):So what was going on at that point in my life?(00:02:07):Well, I mentioned the anxiety.(00:02:09):I did struggle with depression, although I was really good at covering it up.(00:02:14):And I would just suddenly have these desires to stop living, escape.(00:02:23):I longed to escape my past.(00:02:26):I longed to escape myself.(00:02:30):But that was impossible.(00:02:34):So after struggling for quite some time with these really clear mental health issues,(00:02:43):my husband convinced me to seek help.(00:02:47):And I began seeing a Christian counselor, and we engaged in some talk therapy, some prayer.(00:02:56):Most of it was journaling, though, and talk therapy.(00:03:00):And many of my symptoms did improve for a time.(00:03:04):So I thought I was done at that point and continued to move on with my life.(00:03:10):How wrong could I have been?(00:03:15):So despite my thinking I was going crazy, I wasn't.(00:03:20):I just hadn't realized that I had a condition known as post-traumatic stress disorder.(00:03:28):And I didn't discover that particular struggle(00:03:33):until many years later when,(00:03:35):once again,(00:03:35):I wound up on the couch of another therapist because I had actually blacked out at(00:03:46):one point due to fear.(00:03:49):And I didn't understand what was happening.(00:03:51):I knew something was terribly wrong.(00:03:54):I woke up curled up on the floor, my arms wrapped around my legs in a fetal position.(00:04:02):And I had no idea what had happened.(00:04:03):I had no memory after a certain point in the discussion with my husband and was(00:04:10):completely and utterly confused.(00:04:13):So sitting on the couch across from this counselor, I was very wary, very uncertain, very frightened.(00:04:23):And she took a sip of her water bottle and gently said,(00:04:30):spoke into my life and said, Tammy, did anyone ever tell you you have PTSD?(00:04:37):I was absolutely stunned.(00:04:39):I didn't think I could handle one more thing wrong with me.(00:04:44):I couldn't handle something added to the anxiety or the panic or the fear or the(00:04:50):nightmares or the depression or the desire to just sometimes give up.(00:04:58):But that day,(00:05:00):was actually the day I believe that I really stepped into the long journey toward healing.(00:05:09):And that's what I want for all of the listeners here to know.(00:05:13):There is hope for healing.(00:05:15):If you or a loved one struggle with PTSD, there is hope.(00:05:19):And that's what we're going to explore for the entire first season of this podcast.(00:05:25):So let's talk for a little bit about the two basic types of trauma.(00:05:31):Social scientists tell us that there really are two types of trauma, basically.(00:05:38):One of those types of trauma is a result of experiencing a one-time event,(00:05:44):an event that overwhelms one's ability to cope emotionally.(00:05:50):This event might be represented by such things as car accidents,(00:05:54):perhaps a weather-related event that can result in a home being destroyed.(00:06:01):It could result in many different kinds of problems.(00:06:05):Those are single-event types of trauma.(00:06:09):The second type of trauma is an ongoing, perpetual trauma, and that oftentimes is associated with(00:06:20):war, with domestic violence, and with child abuse.(00:06:27):So while PTSD,(00:06:30):post-traumatic stress disorder,(00:06:32):and complex post-traumatic stress disorder both have similarities,(00:06:40):there are some differences.(00:06:42):And anybody can develop PTSD as a result of a single event trauma.(00:06:51):Typically people who develop complex post-traumatic stress disorder or CPTSD are(00:06:58):those individuals who've experienced ongoing trauma.(00:07:04):So let's dig a little bit deeper into some stats and then some symptoms of both PTSD and CPTSD.(00:07:12):And I'm going to clarify a little bit more about both of those.(00:07:17):So according to experts,(00:07:22):Eight to 10% of people in the United States at any given time are experiencing PTSD.(00:07:31):This doesn't include necessarily CPTSD.(00:07:38):The facts I've been able to research just term it PTSD.(00:07:44):But when we dig a little bit deeper, we learn some really(00:07:49):really quite horrible things about child abuse as well as domestic violence.(00:07:55):So in the United States,(00:07:57):600,000 children are abused every year and 15 to 43% of children then experience trauma.(00:08:11):So different figures representing the same sort of information.(00:08:16):Of those children,(00:08:17):of the 15% to 43% of children who experience trauma,(00:08:20):3% to 15% of girls and 1% to 6% of boys will develop PTSD.(00:08:28):And again,(00:08:28):I'm not certain on how they're delineating or if they are delineating any(00:08:33):differences between PTSD and CPTSD.(00:08:36):And I'll explain more about that in a little bit.(00:08:40):So those are high numbers, right?(00:08:44):But what's really so heart-wrenching is that of children in low-income families and(00:08:52):particularly low-income and inner-city families,(00:08:56):up to 40% of those kiddos develop PTSD.(00:09:03):So when we compare the figure suggesting that 8% of the U.S.(00:09:08):population struggles with PTSD and juxtapose that against the(00:09:13):even 15% of girls or 40% of the low-income inner-city children, I have to question that first figure.(00:09:18):8% seems a little low.(00:09:30):because the majority of these children are not going to be able to seek treatment and,(00:09:36):like me,(00:09:37):will not even recognize that their symptoms are representative of a particular(00:09:43):issue for which they can seek help.(00:09:46):So then let's look a little bit at statistics regarding domestic violence and rape and assault.(00:09:56):So almost 20 people per minute are physically abused by their intimate partner or(00:10:03):spouse in the United States.(00:10:05):So that's more than 10 million women and men every year.(00:10:12):If we dig down a little bit deeper,(00:10:15):that means that one in four women and one in nine men experience severe abuse.(00:10:21):intimate partner physical violence, including sexual violence, stalking.(00:10:28):And those individuals are generally going to experience that on an ongoing basis.(00:10:37):More than that,(00:10:38):one in three women and one in four men have experienced some form of physical(00:10:42):violence by their partner.(00:10:44):And this might be slapping, shoving, pushing.(00:10:47):And in some cases, people don't think of that as domestic violence.(00:10:53):Really disturbing.(00:10:55):In fact, one in 10 women have been raped by their spouse or intimate partner.(00:11:00):And one in four women,(00:11:02):one in seven men have been victims of severe physical violence,(00:11:06):including beating and burning and(00:11:09):and other sorts of things that I don't want to trigger anybody,(00:11:12):but those are very significant statistics.(00:11:17):One in five women and one in 71 men in the U S will have been raped in their lifetime.(00:11:26):And typically 44% of those are individuals up to 46%,(00:11:34):depending upon gender were raped by an acquaintance.(00:11:40):And we know in addition that one in 15 kids are exposed to partner violence in their homes every year.(00:11:47):They watch parents or step-parents or whoever they're living with commit domestic violence in their home.(00:12:00):So these are overwhelming stats, right?(00:12:06):What does this mean for children who grow into adulthood(00:12:10):or men and women who suffer with the aftermath of domestic violence and they exhibit symptoms of PTSD.(00:12:19):There are some very specific symptoms that we know represent both PTSD and CPTSD.(00:12:29):And while CPTSD and PTSD(00:12:35):have very similar characteristics.(00:12:38):There are a couple differences,(00:12:39):and that's why not everybody agrees on whether they are a single type of disorder,(00:12:47):or if they are,(00:12:48):again,(00:12:49):their own definable(00:12:54):But let's let's think about some of those statistics,(00:12:57):rather symptoms,(00:12:58):because some of you may be wondering whether or not you have PTSD or perhaps(00:13:04):whether one of your loved ones has PTSD.(00:13:07):So you can find all the information about symptoms at PTSD.gov.(00:13:13):It's actually for warriors.(00:13:17):And there's a great checklist there.(00:13:19):But all of these symptoms are taken from the DSM-5.(00:13:22):And you can also look that up on the web.(00:13:25):But I'll just go through these so you have a general idea.(00:13:29):So if you've regularly re-experienced trauma through unwanted upsetting memories,(00:13:35):nightmares,(00:13:36):flashbacks,(00:13:38):emotional distress after exposure to a traumatic reminder,(00:13:41):maybe by seeing a picture of somebody,(00:13:44):maybe through something on television or physical reactivity after exposure to a(00:13:50):traumatic reminder,(00:13:51):maybe having a panic attack or feeling really,(00:13:55):uh,(00:13:57):fearful or angry in response to that.(00:14:00):Those are symptoms of re-experiencing trauma.(00:14:06):Other symptoms include trauma related thoughts or feelings or(00:14:12):responding to, again, trauma-related reminders, but avoiding both of those.(00:14:18):So if you avoid either the trauma thoughts or feelings or trauma-related reminders,(00:14:25):you might even go to as far as avoiding a certain route.(00:14:30):Perhaps if you were assaulted by somebody,(00:14:34):on a city street somewhere in that alley,(00:14:36):you may actually create a route that far exceeds that area of town because you(00:14:43):don't want to be reminded of it.(00:14:46):Have negative thoughts or feelings that began or worsened after the trauma(00:14:51):continued in the following ways,(00:14:53):in at least two of the following ways?(00:14:55):Do you have an inability to recall key features of the trauma?(00:14:59):Do you experience over negatively thoughts and assumptions either about yourself or the world?(00:15:04):Is there an exaggerated blame of yourself or others for causing trauma?(00:15:09):Are you experiencing a negative affect?(00:15:11):Is it hard for you to experience emotion?(00:15:14):Is it hard for you to enjoy life?(00:15:17):Are you feeling numb?(00:15:19):Do you have decreased interest in activities?(00:15:22):Are you feeling isolated?(00:15:24):Do you have difficulty living?(00:15:28):in your relationships with others.(00:15:31):Those are symptoms that you may possibly be experiencing PTSD, CPTSD.(00:15:41):In addition to that,(00:15:43):you may have the following symptoms,(00:15:46):and in order to be diagnosed,(00:15:48):must also experience at least two of the following,(00:15:50):irritability or aggression,(00:15:53):risky or destructive behavior.(00:15:54):That could be self-destructive behavior or could be destructive behavior toward other people.(00:16:02):Risky behavior might be risky sexual behavior.(00:16:06):It might be engaging in substance abuse.(00:16:09):It might be driving really fast.(00:16:12):Hypervigilance, heightened startle reaction, difficulty concentrating, difficulty sleeping, and(00:16:21):Have the symptoms mentioned lasted for more than one month?(00:16:24):If they haven't, you likely are experiencing acute stress disorder.(00:16:29):But if it,(00:16:30):if these symptoms go beyond that month,(00:16:34):definitely seek some help and find out what's going on.(00:16:38):Do your symptoms also create distress or functional impairment,(00:16:41):either socially with your family or on the job?(00:16:47):Some people, some,(00:16:49):Women that I know very well can't go to work in a traditional work setting because(00:16:57):their social anxiety is so significant as a result of what they've experienced in childhood.(00:17:05):Are the symptoms unrelated to medication, substance abuse, or other illness?(00:17:10):So for example, when I...(00:17:12):met with the second counselor and told her that I had come to after being on the(00:17:19):ground in this fetal position,(00:17:21):the first question she asked me was,(00:17:23):were you drinking?(00:17:25):And I wasn't, not at all, not a single drop.(00:17:30):So those are important things for you to consider as well.(00:17:35):If you did answer yes to some of these or most of these symptoms and you haven't(00:17:40):yet been diagnosed by clinician or therapist,(00:17:43):I really encourage you to seek insight from a professional.(00:17:47):Books and online websites really can be useful.(00:17:50):They can help us track what's going on in our own lives,(00:17:52):but they are not adequate at diagnosing or providing follow-up care.(00:17:57):So whether you've begun care or not,(00:18:00):I hope you'll find encouragement in today's session and the following sessions.(00:18:05):So we've discussed my own personal story.(00:18:07):I really thought I was going crazy.(00:18:09):I thought I was losing my mind.(00:18:12):And I even felt like there were other people almost speaking into my life.(00:18:19):That has to do with a symptom we haven't yet discussed yet, but it has to do with CPTSD.(00:18:28):Particularly children, but adults,(00:18:31):There are also women and men who've been victims of domestic violence or those who(00:18:37):have gone through multiple excursions into the war may experience significant(00:18:49):memory loss or they may feel as if different people at times are taking over.(00:18:57):They may have(00:18:59):they may experiencing something as unexplained as getting a tattoo,(00:19:05):but they weren't aware that they got it.(00:19:08):So this has to do with something called a dissociative disorder,(00:19:15):which is commonly experienced by adult survivors of childhood abuse in particular.(00:19:22):And while statistics indicate(00:19:25):that, again, only 1% to 2% of people deal with dissociative identity disorder.(00:19:31):I personally know several women and a couple of men who live with the impact and(00:19:40):challenges of these dissociative disorders,(00:19:42):in particular,(00:19:44):dissociative identity disorder.(00:19:48):I think, given the statistics we discussed earlier,(00:19:52):and the number of kids who are being and were abused over the years,(00:19:58):I think that number is actually higher than we know.(00:20:02):So if you experienced some of those memory issues that I mentioned,(00:20:09):maybe have huge gaps in your memories from childhood or that sort of thing,(00:20:15):then I would definitely follow up with a caregiver,(00:20:18):but know(00:20:19):that when we look at all of this information together, you are not alone in your struggle.(00:20:26):There are so many survivors, so many, and there's hope for a life that is fulfilling and joy-filled.(00:20:35):And you may not be on the side of that equation yet,(00:20:38):but I can tell you from personal experience,(00:20:41):it is possible.(00:20:44):So let's move on a little bit to where healing begins, because we've laid the foundation.(00:20:51):But I really do want to share with you that healing is possible.(00:20:55):And I'd like to read an excerpt from a work in progress that I am pitching.(00:21:03):Healing begins with rooting out the lie that we are not at fault for one,(00:21:08):having been abused and to developing a trauma wound.(00:21:12):We wonder why we couldn't or didn't put a stop to the abuse,(00:21:16):imagining we must be weak or flawed,(00:21:18):somehow responsible for failing to manage the pain of our past.(00:21:23):Often these misconceptions were birthed by our abuser.(00:21:26):Now look what you made me do.(00:21:28):If your mother knew what a bad girl you are, she wouldn't love you.(00:21:32):Accepting the narrative as truth, we internalize the lie I'm to blame for years.(00:21:39):even decades,(00:21:40):without realizing how the offender and others have placed the blame for abuse(00:21:44):squarely on our shoulders.(00:21:46):I don't believe you, or why didn't you tell me sooner?(00:21:50):If you hadn't worn that outfit, he never would have touched you.(00:21:54):Do any of those sound familiar?(00:21:57):This sort of faulty thinking, victim blaming, has existed for centuries.(00:22:01):Scripture, for instance, tells of a man who had been blind since birth.(00:22:05):As Christ and his followers approached,(00:22:07):the disciples asked,(00:22:08):Rabbi,(00:22:08):who sinned,(00:22:09):this man or his parents,(00:22:10):that he was born blind?(00:22:12):Neither this man nor his parents sinned, said Jesus.(00:22:15):But this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.(00:22:19):John 9, 2-3(00:22:21):Then Jesus healed the man, providing him with both physical and spiritual sight.(00:22:26):His identity transformed.(00:22:27):The man was no longer identified by a label, but by his belief in Jesus Christ.(00:22:33):He who had been desperate, a disciple.(00:22:36):The beggar who people overlooked, touched by the hand of God.(00:22:39):The man shackled to suffering, redeemed and restored by the merciful healer.(00:22:44):This scripture teaches us at least two important concepts.(00:22:49):First, the blind man was not at fault for having been born blind.(00:22:53):In the same way,(00:22:54):you are not at fault for developing PTSD any more than you were at fault for(00:22:59):suffering abuse or any other trauma that triggered its development.(00:23:05):Do you believe it?(00:23:07):I'd like you to say this after me.(00:23:11):I am not at fault for wrestling with PTSD.(00:23:17):Okay, let's have you do it with me now.(00:23:20):I am not at fault for wrestling with PTSD.(00:23:25):Let's try this one.(00:23:27):I am not at fault for having been abused.(00:23:30):Okay, just in case you didn't join in the first time, let's do this second sentence again.(00:23:37):I am not at fault for having been abused.(00:23:44):So we talked about first, the blind man was not at fault.(00:23:48):Second, God's goodness was displayed in the blind man's suffering.(00:23:52):Hey, please don't misunderstand me.(00:23:54):God is not the author of sin, nor does he sanction it.(00:23:58):If PTSD resulted because of the suffering you experienced at another's hand,(00:24:03):that individual will bow before Christ and he will be held to account or she.(00:24:11):But the beauty of this passage?(00:24:13):When we invite him into our pain,(00:24:16):both our suffering and subsequent transformation provide a platform for God to(00:24:20):demonstrate his life-altering,(00:24:22):miracle-working,(00:24:24):soul-healing power.(00:24:26):We become a living testimony pointing heavenward and offering others hope.(00:24:32):Our identity is not dictated by a psychiatrist or a DSM-5 book.(00:24:37):Instead,(00:24:37):our identity resides in Jesus,(00:24:39):the one who died and rose to rescue us from the worst of the world.(00:24:44):Just consider these words, the words Jesus pronounced over you or the Lord.(00:24:49):In his eyes, you are loved.(00:24:50):1 John 3, 1.(00:24:54):You are his special possession, 1 Peter 2.9.(00:24:57):You are a child of God, 1 John 3.1.2.(00:25:00):A citizen of heaven, Philippians 3.20.(00:25:02):You are the temple of Christ, 1 Corinthians 6.19 and 20.(00:25:06):You are God's masterpiece, Ephesians 2.10.(00:25:10):You are like your father God, Ephesians 4.24.(00:25:13):You are the apple of his eye, Zechariah 2.8.(00:25:17):And you are a new creation, 2 Corinthians 5.17.(00:25:24):Man's labels may allow us to recognize our wounds, but Christ's labels reassure us of our worth.(00:25:34):So,(00:25:35):friend,(00:25:37):healing begins the moment we recognize again that we are not at fault for either(00:25:44):our abuse nor our(00:25:47):for developing a trauma wound.(00:25:50):It's really a wound in response to an overwhelming circumstance that was beyond our control.(00:25:59):More than it is a disorder, it's a wound.(00:26:04):So today, I hope you've taken that step with me, that important first step.(00:26:10):And if you're somewhere else along that journey,(00:26:14):I hope you'll come back and look for more about how you can move ahead,(00:26:21):move from the desert land into that land of promise.(00:26:25):But today I do want to leave you with a couple of resources that were helpful to me.(00:26:31):And I think they're really helpful for many other people.(00:26:35):One of them is very well known.(00:26:37):It's The Wounded Heart by therapist and survivor Dan Allender.(00:26:43):It also has a workbook.(00:26:45):If you're interested in that,(00:26:46):it'd be something you could do along with your therapist and a beautiful,(00:26:51):encouraging work written by Mary Demuth,(00:26:57):also a survivor.(00:26:58):It's a great devotional.(00:27:02):It's a great encourager.(00:27:04):It's called Healing Every Day.(00:27:06):And(00:27:09):She has some other great books that you may find very helpful as you're going(00:27:14):through this journey that I may mention later on as well.(00:27:18):But those two books will have links in the show notes today if you're interested in checking them out.(00:27:26):So friend, thank you for joining me today.(00:27:29):Thank you for learning about my story.(00:27:32):Thank you for letting me share.(00:27:34):I hope it's been an encouragement to you and(00:27:37):as you discover more about your value,(00:27:41):your worth,(00:27:42):and that man's labels may give us a place to start,(00:27:47):but God is the one who ultimately can take the heart of our journey and give us hope.(00:27:55):So thank you for listening to From Hardship to Hope today.(00:27:59):Again, you can find the show notes for this episode, including links at TammyKennington.substack.(00:28:06):And if this was helpful for you or you think it would be helpful for someone else(00:28:10):that you know,(00:28:11):please do send it,(00:28:14):share it.(00:28:15):And while you're at it, go ahead and subscribe.(00:28:18):This is going to be a great first season and I'm looking forward to spending some more time with you.(00:28:22):And if you don't mind, I would love just to close with a word of prayer for you.(00:28:29):Abba Father, I know you are the truth and the way.(00:28:35):Thank you for revealing your heart to us and for showing us the truth that we are,(00:28:42):you friend,(00:28:43):are his special treasure.(00:28:45):We have believed the lies spoken over us.(00:28:49):And Father,(00:28:50):I just ask you to pluck those lies out of my heart and fill my mind and replace it,(00:28:57):Lord,(00:28:57):with your eternal word,(00:28:59):the word of truth.(00:29:01):In Jesus' holy and powerful name, amen.If you purchase an item through one of my links, I may earn a small commission without any additional cost to you. I will never recommend a book, service, or other item unless I believe in its worth and value. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe