Terrific Tuesdays: Getting Better at Being Human!

He has an engineering degree, an MBA, and once made bean soup in a $400 coffee machine. He wrote instruction manuals for a living and couldn't start his weed whacker for eight years. He is a program manager who builds processes and procedures for critical systems — and skipped the most important line every single time. Meet That Guy. You might know him. You might BE him. And somewhere between the bean soup and 42 years of sobriety, That Guy figured out that the directions were printed on the side of the machine the whole time. He just never stopped to read them.#TerrifcTuesdays #GettingBetterAtBeingHuman #ThatGuy #RecoveryPodcast #SoberLife #Sobriety #Anxiety #RecoveryCommunity #HonestyInRecovery #12Steps #WeAreNotAGlumLot #SelfDeprecation #PersonalGrowth #Healing #MentalHealth #Humor #ReadTheDamnDirections

Episode 42: I See My UglinessGregg gets uncomfortably honest about the behavior that loneliness drives — and why seeing it clearly hasn't been enough to stop it. From a patio at Camelback Mountain to a lunchtime spiral that runs on a loop, this episode goes where most recovery conversations won't. If the program works, why do I still have this? And will I always be broken? Two questions nobody wants to say out loud. One guy willing to say them anyway.#TerrifcTuesdays #GettingBetterAtBeingHuman #ISeeMyUgliness #RecoveryPodcast #Anxiety #Loneliness #SoberLife #12Steps #Sobriety #MentalHealth #Healing #RecoveryCommunity #Vulnerability #HonestyInRecovery #AloneNotLonely #PersonalGrowth #Worthiness

What if the tool that got you sober could work on your anxiety too? In this episode, Gregg shares a question his therapist asked that stopped him cold — and what happened when he finally realized he'd been using the wrong language for decades. "I can't do this" isn't a prayer. It's a collapse. There's a difference. Whether you're in recovery or not, whether you believe in God or not — the panic prayer might be the thing you've never actually tried. For real.#TerrifcTuesdays #GettingBetterAtBeingHuman #PanicPrayer #AnxietyRecovery #RecoveryPodcast #SoberLife #Anxiety #MentalHealth #Prayer #Surrender #12Steps #Sobriety #AnxietyRelief #RecoveryCommunity #Healing #Wellness #PodcastLife

Episode 40 is a confession. After 40 episodes and 42 plus years of sobriety Gregg comes clean about something he didn't see coming — the most honest conversations of his recovery have happened with an AI. Not because the AI is special. Because he was finally ready. And the mirror was just there. Judgment free. Agenda free. Available at midnight when the words needed to come out. This episode isn't about technology. It's about the habit of protection — the gap between who you are and who you're presenting — and why that gap is exactly where anxiety lives. Plus a challenge to find YOUR mirror this week. Whatever that looks like.#TerrifictTuesdays #GettingBetterAtBeingHuman #Recovery #Sobriety #SoberLife #Anxiety #MentalHealth #Healing #TheAuthenticYou #AI #Claude #HonestConversations #FindYourMirror #Vulnerable #RealTalk #NoBS #DoingTheWork #KeepShowingUp #YouAreLoved #AgeStrongLiveLong

You did the work. You faced the hard stuff. You made the amends. Things genuinely got better — and then on a perfectly ordinary Tuesday, the anxiety showed up anyway.Not the old catastrophic spiral. Just a nagging little devil in the corner of your head, whispering, poking, trying to make you flip out over nothing.That's remnant anxiety. And it doesn't mean you failed. It means your nervous system is still running the old software.In this episode, Gregg breaks down what conditioned anxiety actually is, the four versions of "head up your ass" we use to avoid feeling it (including the sneaky one that feels like progress but isn't), and the only thing that actually works to interrupt it — because you cannot think your way out of a feeling.You can only move your way out.If you've done the work and anxiety is still hanging around — you're not broken. You're not back at square one. You're just human. And that's exactly what we're here for.#TerrifcTuesdays #GettingBetterAtBeingHuman #AnxietyRecovery #RemnantAnxiety #SoberLife #RecoveryPodcast #MentalHealthTools #42YearsSober #ConditionnedBehavior #HeadOutOfMyAss #TrustTheProcess #ActionNotThinking #SoberAndHuman #RecoveryWorks #YouAreNotBroken

Episode 38 is the one nobody in recovery talks about. You did the work. You made the amends. You faced the people. And then years later — when the water finally receded far enough — you saw the bones. The things the first amends didn't reach. Not because you were dishonest. Because the water hadn't gotten low enough yet. Tonight Gregg gets real about the sober victims — the people who never knew the drinking Gregg but still got hit by the wreckage. About the deepest bone of all — the people who walked away convinced they were never loved when the truth was the exact opposite. And about the two lanes of real amends — the ones you go back for and the ones you take to God. This one isn't about doing it wrong the first time. It's about the truth of how deep this work actually goes.#TerrifictTuesdays #GettingBetterAtBeingHuman #Recovery #Sobriety #SoberLife #Amends #Step9 #TheRealAmends #Anxiety #MentalHealth #Healing #YouWereLoved #TheWaterRecedes #Bones #Authentic #RealTalk #NoBS #GodIsNotDoneYet #DoingTheWork #KeepShowingUp #TrudgingTheRoad #AARecovery #12Steps

Episode 37 is the most personal episode yet. Gregg goes wide open, full fucking throttle, and lays bare the truth about how lies and anxiety grow together — silently, invisibly, like water finding every crack until you're drowning and don't even know how it happened. The cavern. The meadow. The detonation. And the one person whose love was powerful enough to bring it all down — and how even that got twisted by the lie. This one isn't just a podcast episode. It's a confession, a warning, and an invitation. If you've ever felt like the anxiety is YOU — this is for you.#TerrifictTuesdays #GettingBetterAtBeingHuman #Anxiety #Recovery #SoberLife #Sobriety #MentalHealth #Healing #TheAuthenticYou #Lies #SelfWorth #Worthy #YouAreNotAlone #Vulnerability #PersonalGrowth #RealTalk #NoBS #GodIsNotDoneYet #TrustTheProcess #KeepShowingUp #DoingTheWork #TrudgingTheRoad

Ever lose three hours to your phone when you only needed five minutes? That's the scroll hole — and in Episode 36, Gregg gets real about why scrolling feels so good, why it works like using, and why it solves absolutely nothing. Brain rot is the new medication. And just like the bottle or the pill, it takes the edge off but leaves the problem waiting — with interest. Plus — the answer to last week's big question: if it's all bullshit, what actually worked? Spoiler: it involves putting the phone down. And yes, there is singing.#TerrifictTuesdays #GettingBetterAtBeingHuman #BrainRot #ScrollHole #Anxiety #Recovery #SoberLife #Sobriety #MentalHealth #PhoneAddiction #DoingTheWork #TakeWhatWorks #KeepShowingUp #12Steps #Healing #PersonalGrowth #RealTalk #NoBS #TrudgingTheRoad #HappyDestiny

Ever feel like the advice you're supposed to follow contradicts itself at every turn? In Episode 35, Gregg takes a hilarious and honest look at all the recovery, healing, and self-help wisdom we've been handed — and how most of it disagrees with itself. 90 meetings vs. quality over quantity. Let go and let God vs. God helps those who help themselves. Feel your feelings vs. don't wallow. Sound familiar? None of it is gospel. Take what works, leave the rest, and for God's sake stop beating yourself up for not doing it "right." There is no right. There's only what works.#TerrifictTuesdays #GettingBetterAtBeingHuman #Recovery #SoberLife #Sobriety #Anxiety #MentalHealth #PersonalGrowth #SelfHelp #Healing #TakeWhatWorks #KeepShowingUp #RecoveryIsPossible #YouAreNotAlone #Authentic #RealTalk #NoBS #12Steps #BigBook #ProgressNotPerfection

I talk about "rewiring your brain" all the time - but I've never actually explained what that means. How it works. What you actually DO.In Episode 34, I'm breaking down the science, the spiritual, and the practical pieces of rewiring. Because this isn't just neuroscience. It's not just willpower. And it's definitely not fake positivity.Your brain creates pathways - automatic patterns that were wired in when you were young. And those patterns keep running even when they're based on outdated information. The old route to work you could drive with your eyes closed. The automatic response when anxiety shows up. The belief that you're not good enough or people will leave.Rewiring means building NEW pathways. And that takes emotion, not just thinking. I don't roll out of bed mumbling "I am confident." I stand in front of the mirror, clench my fists, huge smile, and feel the grit when I say "I am the man with the confidence to do anything I choose." That's the difference - positive thinking with emotion behind it.Your subconscious doesn't know the difference between what's imagined with feeling and what's real. Just like it automates your heartbeat and breathing, it will automate whatever you feed it with emotion long enough.But you can't do this alone. God is in this work. Not in some magical way where you pray and patterns disappear - but when you're willing to walk the uncomfortable path, there's something bigger than you helping you through it.This episode covers the four practical steps: Catch the old pattern. Interrupt it. Choose differently. Repeat. With God's help. With support. With the willingness to be uncomfortable while the new pathway gets built.Because you deserve more than just surviving on old wiring. You deserve freedom.Hashtags:#RewiringYourBrain #Neuroplasticity #MentalHealthMatters #RecoveryJourney #PersonalGrowth #SpiritualHealing #AnxietyRecovery #BrainScience #HealingJourney #SobrietyLife #AARecovery #AddictionRecovery #RecoveryPodcast #MentalWellness #GodInRecovery #ChangeYourBrain #RecoveryCommunity #AuthenticHealing #BreakingPatterns #FreedomFromAnxiety

What if your anxiety isn't the problem? What if it's pointing at something deeper - a wound you haven't healed yet?In Episode 33, I'm talking about the difference between managing anxiety symptoms and actually healing the wounds that cause it. Most people spend years learning coping skills - breathing exercises, grounding techniques, medication. And that stuff helps. But if you've been managing your anxiety for years and it's STILL showing up, still running parts of your life, maybe it's time to ask a different question: "What is this protecting?"I share a conversation I had with a friend who's dealing with driving anxiety. She's about to take long road trips pulling a camper, and panic attacks have been showing up before she even had the trailer. We talked about childhood trauma, about figuring out what's actually CAUSING the anxiety instead of just trying to control it when it shows up.And I get vulnerable about my own experience - Boise, Idaho on the I-84, pulling over to the LEFT lane during a panic attack and walking down the freeway until I could get my shit together. I understand what she's dealing with.This episode is about the uncomfortable work of digging in the dirt to find what's underneath the anxiety. It's not a weekend workshop. It's not a breathing exercise. It's going back to the moments that created the fear and doing the spiritual work to rewire how your brain responds. And God is in all of it.If you've been managing your anxiety for years and it's still running your life, maybe it's time to stop settling for management and start doing the healing work.Hashtags:#AnxietyRecovery #MentalHealthMatters #HealingJourney #StopManaging #SpiritualHealing #AnxietyHealing #RecoveryJourney #MentalWellness #TraumaHealing #PersonalGrowth #SobrietyLife #AARecovery #AddictionRecovery #RecoveryPodcast #GodInRecovery #HealingWork #AnxietySupport #MentalHealthPodcast #RecoveryCommunity #AuthenticHealing

EPISODE 32: WHAT LOVE LOOKS LIKE WHEN YOU'RE FINALLY READYDescription:What happens after you do the work? After you let that younger version of yourself off the hook, after you stop hiding behind your past - then what?In Episode 32, I'm talking about what it actually looks like to be ready to love. Not ready for a specific person. Just... ready. Ready to show up whole, without anxious attachment, without abandonment issues running the show, without losing yourself trying to keep someone.I share a personal example - something I did this Valentine's Day that the old me never could have done with any peace. And I'm honest about where I landed: 80% at peace. Not 100%. Because I'm human. But that 20% isn't running the show anymore.I also go back to something I discovered about that 7-year-old version of me - what actually created the fear of abandonment, and how understanding it finally let Sweet Boy out of the dark.This episode is about becoming the person who can love authentically. And recognizing that sometimes we're so fixated on one direction, we miss what's right in front of us.Progress, not perfection. That's what being ready looks like.Hashtags:#RecoveryJourney #MentalHealthMatters #AnxietyRecovery #AuthenticLove #PersonalGrowth #SobrietyLife #AbandonmentHealing #AnxiousAttachment #ReadyToLove #AARecovery #AddictionRecovery #MentalWellness #RecoveryPodcast #HealingJourney #LoveAndRecovery #SoberLife #EmotionalHealing #InnerChildWork #ProgressNotPerfection #RecoveryCommunity

What if the problem isn't your childhood trauma? What if you've been using your younger self as an excuse to avoid taking full accountability for your life right now?After 42 years of recovery work and decades of therapy, I discovered something that changed everything: The 7-year-old version of me who lost his dad was fine. He'd been ready to move on this whole time. I was the one who wouldn't let him go.In this episode, I walk through how the "demons" - the disease, the anxiety, the character defects - survive by keeping us focused on healing past wounds instead of dealing with present-day accountability. I share my own timeline from age 12 through decades of sobriety, showing how I used childhood trauma as the explanation for everything while the real work went undone.This is about recognizing when your past becomes your excuse, and what changes when you finally let that younger version off the hook.If you've been doing the work for years and still feel stuck, this one's for you.Hashtags:#RecoveryJourney #MentalHealthMatters #AnxietyRecovery #InnerChildWork #PersonalGrowth #SobrietyLife #TraumaHealing #SelfAccountability #AARecovery #AddictionRecovery #MentalWellness #RecoveryPodcast #12StepRecovery #HealingJourney #BreakingPatterns #RecoveryWarrior #SoberLife #CharacterDefects #EmotionalHealing #RecoveryCommunity

Episode 30! I'm so excited - like those two young boys in Talladega Nights - I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey! Thirty episodes of showing up, being real, finding my voice.This week I want to talk about something simple but took me decades to figure out: how to actually RECEIVE love. Not from my dog - Tucker's easy, he's 100% unconditional. But from actual people? That's been the hard part.A few weeks ago at an AA meeting, people were talking about squishmallows - those ultra-soft stuffed animals. I thought they were ridiculous. Adults with stuffed animals? I said "I'm not going out to buy one of those things." They started teasing me: "I think you need one, Gregg" and "Yeah, maybe you wouldn't be such a hard ass!"Until Saturday. A box shows up at my house. Three squishmallows. Two for me, one for Tucker.Someone was listening. Someone thought "Gregg doesn't know how to receive love so we'll do it through the Squishmallow factor." Not because I earned it. Just because they wanted to.Here's what I'm learning: the love has always been there. A LOT of people have loved me over the years. I could even see it sometimes - glimpses of their care. But I didn't know how to receive it. How do you flip the switch? How do you be the real you when everyone knows you as something else? Or worse - what if they ALREADY see the real you and I'm the only one who doesn't know it?Something's different now. Three squishmallows show up and I don't deflect. I don't dismiss it. I just... receive it.I'm finally READY to hear it. To see it. To ACCEPT it. It's not that people suddenly started loving me - it's that I'm finally able to RECEIVE the love that's been there all along.The evidence has been everywhere. People listening to this podcast. Family reconnecting. The three alcoholics I sponsor showing up every week. The cousin who sent me a healing video that became an entire episode. I just wasn't ready to let it in.Being authentic opened the door. But the real shift? Learning to walk through that door and ACCEPT what's on the other side. People like me. The real me. And I'm finally ready to believe it.What love are you not letting in? Who's showing up that you keep dismissing? Maybe you've known deep down people care, but you haven't been READY to receive it. It might be three squishmallows, a text message, someone remembering your dog's name. Whatever it is - let it land. You're ready.Episode 30. Thirty weeks of being real. And people are still here. You're still here, aren't you?#RecoveryPodcast #LearningToReceiveLove #Sobriety #MentalHealth #AnxietyRecovery #AuthenticLiving #SelfWorth #AddictionRecovery #EmotionalHealing #SoberLife #RecoveryJourney #12StepRecovery #Vulnerability #PersonalGrowth #Episode30

We are only as sick as our secrets. We all have parts of our story we're not proud of - wounds that run deep. But here's the hope: nothing is beyond God's restoration through forgiveness.The problem? We don't go deep enough. We do surface work, acknowledge the wound, maybe pray about it. But we don't meet God IN the wound. We don't invite Him into that deep, dark place. So it never fully heals.For me, it was abandonment. Seven years old when my dad died. Left alone constantly while my mom worked to take care of us. That wound taught me one truth: people leave. And for decades, I carried it like a badge. "I have abandonment issues" became my excuse instead of my history.But I wasn't just carrying the wound - I was picking at it. Reopening it on purpose. Taking the knife and sliding it wide open. Because if I stayed the victim, at least I had control. The victim gets sympathy. The victim doesn't get abandoned.Except that's bullshit.The actual work? Discovering the wound. Writing it down. Asking: what did I GET from this? Fear. The wound kept me in fear, fear kept me in anxiety, anxiety kept the wound open.Then bringing God in: writing letters I'd never send, asking "Where were You when this happened?", declaring forgiveness aloud, identifying the lies ("I'm not worth staying for"), countering them with truth. Every day speaking to my soul: "You are no longer bleeding. You are healing, fully and completely, with God's help."Here's what I'm learning: It's not completely healed yet. I'm still doing the daily work. Still catching myself reaching for that knife. But the anxiety? Far less powerful. It doesn't run the show anymore.The temptation is to keep picking at the scar. To use old wounds as current excuses. "I can't do relationships." "I'm too broken for..." But if you've done the work - brought God into it, declared forgiveness, countered the lies - it's time to accept the healing and LIVE like it's true.Stop picking at the scars. Stop proving you're still wounded. The work is done. Now live like it.#RecoveryPodcast #ChristianRecovery #Forgiveness #HealingWounds #Sobriety #MentalHealth #AnxietyRecovery #AddictionRecovery #12StepRecovery #FaithAndRecovery #TraumaHealing #AbandonmentIssues #GodsRestoration #AuthenticLiving #RecoveryJourney

I'm home. For the first time in 42+ years of sobriety, I can say that and mean it. I'm transparent, at ease, authentic. And that authenticity allows me to manage the anxiety - not cure it, but manage it.For 39 years of my sobriety, I was performing. Living on the outside of who I really was. Picture a tarp thrown over your authentic self - everything real buried underneath. I lived on top of that tarp, being whoever I needed to be to survive.I did all the work. Meetings, steps, sponsorship. But I was still lying to impress people, still disconnected from that kind, gentle, empathetic guy underneath. Because letting him out felt too vulnerable.Three years ago, everything fell apart. My motto became "CHANGE OR DIE." I chose the fire - burned it all down. And when the smoke cleared, I learned something crucial: that tarp doesn't come off gently. It only comes off through destruction or chaos. Living through that destruction gives you the strength to finally rip it off.Now? Service work with other alcoholics. This podcast every Tuesday. Transparency about the anxiety that still shows up, about still figuring things out after 42+ years. Being at ease with who I actually am.The anxiety's still there. But it's not running the show anymore. I finally have my voice. And that's home.If you're sober but still struggling, still anxious, still feeling disconnected - you're not doing it wrong. The work just goes deeper than we realize. Your authentic self might still be buried. Getting free might require destruction. But it's worth it. Because you get your voice back.#RecoveryPodcast #AnxietyRecovery #Sobriety #MentalHealth #AddictionRecovery #AuthenticLiving #AnxiousAttachment #PanicDisorder #SoberLife #RecoveryJourney #MentalHealthPodcast #12StepRecovery #SelfDiscovery #PersonalGrowth #FindingYourVoice

TITLE:When Your Safety Mechanism Becomes Your SabotageDESCRIPTION:Welcome back to Terrific Tuesday's: Getting Better at Being Human. This week I'm sharing something I just figured out - and it's one of those insights that makes you go "Holy shit, I've been doing this to myself the whole time."I overslept this weekend and missed hiking plans with a friend. My first thought was: "Gregg, you need better motivation. Better alarms. More discipline."But when I dug deeper - working through it with my support system and doing some Step 9 inventory on my attachment patterns - I discovered something that blew my mind.I wasn't oversleeping because I couldn't wake up. I was oversleeping because I was exhausting myself on purpose.THE PATTERN:I stay up until 2 or 3 AM - not because I'm not tired, but because I won't let myself go to bed. Two demons drive this:"I might miss something" - that anxious attachment voice asking: What if someone texts? What if an important email comes in? What if I'm not available when I'm needed? What if? What the fuckin if? What if NOTHING happens?"You have to exhaust yourself or you won't wake up" - the twisted logic that says if I'm not completely drained, I'll be too anxious to wake up and show up for things.So I stay up trying to exhaust myself to PREVENT oversleeping... and then I'm so exhausted I sleep through all my alarms and oversleep anyway.The thing I'm doing to protect myself is creating the exact problem I'm trying to prevent.THE SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY:Stay up until 2 AM trying to exhaust myselfSleep through alarms because I'm SO exhaustedDon't show up (like missing that hike)Which confirms the fear: "See? You CAN'T show up"Which makes the anxiety worseWhich makes me stay up even later next timeTHIS ISN'T JUST ABOUT SLEEP:If you're dealing with anxiety - whether you're in recovery or not - you probably recognize this pattern somewhere in your life:Overanalyzing texts to prevent misunderstandings (which creates misunderstandings)Trying to control everything to prevent failure (which causes failure)Isolating to avoid rejection (which guarantees loneliness)Staying hypervigilant to avoid missing something (which exhausts you so much you miss what actually matters)The safety mechanism becomes the sabotage.WHAT I'M DOING:Calling my doctor - because my meds aren't working and this is chemistry, not just willpowerWorking this with my sponsor - because there's a deeper fear underneath (what am I really afraid will happen if I go to bed like a normal person?)Testing the demons - going to bed at 10 PM this week with three alarms set to see if they're lyingBecause the demons say "you CAN'T go to bed at a normal hour and wake up." But I've done it for 30 years. I show up at work every day. So maybe they're lying.THE CHALLENGE:If you're doing something to protect yourself - ask yourself: Is this actually keeping me safe? Or is this creating the exact thing I'm afraid of?Test your demons. See what happens when you don't do the thing you think is keeping you safe.You might be surprised.Keep getting better at being human.HASHTAGS:#MentalHealth #AnxietyRelief #SelfSabotage #AnxiousAttachment #PersonalGrowth #Recovery #Sobriety #SleepAnxiety #MentalWellness #BreakingPatterns #EmotionalHealth #AddictionRecovery #AnxietySupport #SelfAwareness #HealingJourney #AARecovery #MentalHealthPodcast #GetBetterAtBeingHuman #TerrifcTuesdays #OvercomingAnxiety

Welcome back to Terrific Tuesday's: Getting Better at Being Human. This is Part 2 of our deep dive into the Beatitudes - seven timeless principles for dealing with anxiety, suffering, and becoming a better version of yourself.Last episode we covered being poor in spirit, mourning, being meek, and hungering for righteousness. Today we're finishing with the final three: being merciful, pure in heart, and peacemaking.Here's what we're breaking down:Blessed are the merciful - Why holding grudges and keeping score destroys you more than the other person. How extending grace isn't about them deserving it - it's about freeing yourself from carrying around that weight.Blessed are the pure in heart - What it actually means to live undivided. How trying to serve two masters, keep your options open, and hedge your bets creates constant internal conflict and anxiety. The peace that comes from integrity - when your insides match your outsides.Blessed are the peacemakers - Why Jesus said peaceMAKERS, not "the peaceful." The difference between avoiding conflict and actively creating peace. How being right costs you relationships. Why most of the hills we're willing to die on aren't worth it.These aren't religious platitudes - they're the actual mechanics of transformation. And if you're dealing with anxiety, each of these addresses root causes: holding grudges creates constant tension, living divided generates internal war, and defensive posturing keeps you exhausted.The challenge: Pick one. Just one. The one that hits you hardest. For the next week, don't try to master it - just practice it. See what happens.Whether you're in recovery, dealing with anxiety, or just trying to survive being human - these principles work. Not because they're magic, but because they're true.Keep getting better at being human.#MentalHealth #AnxietyRelief #PersonalGrowth #SelfImprovement #Recovery #Sobriety #MentalWellness #Podcast #BeatitudesExplained #EmotionalHealth #SelfDevelopment #AddictionRecovery #AnxietySupport #MindfulLiving #InnerPeace #HealingJourney #AARecovery #MentalHealthPodcast #GetBetterAtBeingHuman #TerrifcTuesdays

Episode 25 explores the first four Beatitudes - ancient principles for transformation. Whether you're in recovery, dealing with anxiety, or working on personal growth, these tools address the root causes of suffering. We cover: admitting powerlessness, grief work, letting go of control, and desperate pursuit of change. Not religious teaching - practical survival tools."#Anxiety #Recovery #PersonalGrowth #MentalHealth #SelfImprovement#AnxietyRelief #RecoveryJourney #SobrietyMatters #MentalHealthMatters #SelfDevelopment #InnerPeace #EmotionalHealing #LifeTransformation #AddictionRecovery #12StepRecovery

I'm sitting here at 15,420 days sober - over 42 years - and I just discovered a character defect I didn't even know existed.How is that possible? How do you work the steps multiple times, do years of inventories, and STILL get blindsided by something that's been running your life the whole time?Here's what happened: Recently, while processing the end of my 29-year relationship, BOOM - there it is. A wound from when I was 8 years old that I didn't even remember. My brother and his friend left me bleeding in a park after a bike accident. I nearly died. And that moment of abandonment? It's been shaping every relationship, every pattern, every fear for decades without me knowing it.Meanwhile, I'm watching people in meetings who seem to just... fix things and move on. They work on their anger - handled. Their selfishness - done. And I'm thinking "Why does THEIR work stick and mine doesn't?"Here's what I've learned: Some wounds are too deep to "fix" - you can only manage them. And the really maddening part? You don't know they're wounds when they happen. An 8-year-old kid doesn't think "This is going to mess me up for life." These things get buried so deep they run the show from the basement for decades.If you're years into recovery and still struggling with the same patterns, this episode is for you. If you're comparing yourself to others who seem to have it all figured out, this is for you. If you're afraid you're doing it wrong because stuff keeps coming back, this is DEFINITELY for you.This is a lifelong program. Not because we're doing it wrong, but because this is how it works. Recovery is a design for LIVING, not just getting sober.You can be 15,420 days in and still be discovering. That's not failure. That's the path.Age strong, live long. Good week, God bless.

I've been doing the work for decades. 15,413 days sober, one day at a time. Therapy. Meetings. Step work. Prayer. All of it. And it's still hard. I'm still struggling with anxiety. Still catching myself in the same patterns. Still dealing with wounds from when I was seven years old. Still working on forgiving people who hurt me decades ago.Some days that makes me furious. Not because I'm not trying—but because I AM trying, and it's still not making life golden the way I thought it would. I used to think recovery worked like a formula: put in the work, get the results. But healing doesn't work like that. Being human doesn't work like that.Even after 15,413 days, it's still hard. But here's my point: I don't want you to feel like you aren't making progress or "getting it." Look hard at what you are doing, track your progress, THEN you'll know and see.This episode is about five people who stuck with me through all of it. Not just the early days of sobriety—but the decades of still doing the work. Five people who showed up every single day. Not just when it was easy. Not just when I was doing well. EVERY DAY. Even when they were probably tired of my shit.Their names are Sheila, Keverne, Ivan, Ray, and Ric. My sisters come first, and the guys are in alphabetical order—that's not importance level, that's just me trying to avoid arguments. Sorry Ray, you're stuck in the middle.These five people answered the phone at 2 AM. They listened to the same anxiety spiral for the 47th time—actually, that's an understatement. They didn't run when it got hard. And here's what most people don't understand: being that person for someone is fucking HARD. It's exhausting. But they did it anyway.I tell the story of calling my sister Sheila during my divorce when I was walking miles every day because the anxiety was so terrible I couldn't sit still. I wanted to die. That was the only thought I had—the only thing I could think of to relieve the pain. I called Sheila crying, telling her how screwed up my life was. She said, "I don't think that's all true what you are saying." Calm. Steady. Not feeding into the catastrophe my brain was creating. Then she said, "I love you. Your life is worth living. Remember all the other people who love you too."And I'm still here.That's what showing up every day looks like. Sheila didn't have a magic solution. She didn't fix my divorce. She didn't make the anxiety go away. But she was THERE. She reminded me my life was worth living when I couldn't see it myself.My sister Keverne heard every story about the failed relationship during the separation and after the divorce. She HAD to be tired—recovering from cancer and still listening. Still there for me. Call after call, she had advice and insight and a way of talking that made the anxiety subside, if even for a few minutes.Ivan, Ray, Ric—they chose to show up. Not because they had to. Not because we're related. But because they decided I was worth it, even on the days when I probably wasn't.There's a difference between people who say "I'm here for you" and people who actually ARE. When it's 2 AM and you're calling AGAIN, that's when you find out who really means it.This episode is about gratitude for the people who stuck. And if you don't have people like this, I want you to know: you can BUILD this. Show up in meetings, support groups, communities. Show up everywhere you can. And maybe YOU become someone else's Sheila—the person who picks up at 2 AM for someone who needs it.Key topics: gratitude, support systems, recovery community, showing up for others, anxiety support, long-term sobriety, family support, chosen family, depression and suicidal thoughts, being there for others, exhausting to love, mental health support

A couple episodes ago, I mentioned my friend Keith who left me a comment. Keith and I go way back—we worked together when I was in my first marriage. When the company closed its doors, not only was I asked to leave the job, but my first wife asked for a divorce. Keith saw my anxiety back then, and we've kept in touch over the years.Keith's message to me was powerful. My interpretation? Look back and be grateful for what you have.Look back and be grateful. Not "look back and feel shame." Not "look back and regret." Not "look back and wish things were different." Look back and be GRATEFUL.That hit me hard because I spend a lot of time looking back at the wounds, the patterns, the mistakes. But Keith was saying: look back at how FAR you've come. Look at what you HAVE now.This episode is about gratitude—but not the kind of gratitude that's just saying "thank you" and moving on. I'm talking about the kind of gratitude that transforms you. The kind that makes you a SPARK. A LIGHT that people are drawn to.I break this down with an acronym: SPARK.S - Show up grateful. Gratitude isn't just something you feel, it's something you DO. When you show up grateful, you're not dragging people down with complaints—you're lifting them up with your presence.P - Pass it on. Gratitude isn't meant to be hoarded. Someone lights a spark in you, and you light a spark in someone else.A - Acknowledge the good. Stop and acknowledge what's RIGHT. If all you see is what's wrong, you'll miss what's working.R - Recognize growth. Look BACK at where you were. I was in jail. I was homeless. I was peeing the bed at 24 years old. And now? I'm 15,397 days sober, one day at a time. That's GROWTH.K - Keep shining. You don't turn off the light. You keep shining because people are watching, people are listening, and people are drawn to light.When you're grateful, people want to be around you. They ask, "How are you so positive?" "How do you keep going?" And the answer is: I look back and I'm grateful for what I have.I look back at the kid locked in the foil room in sixth grade. I look back at the 12-year-old drinking Mad Dog 20/20. I look back at the guy with 9 DUIs living on the streets. And then I look at where I am NOW.I have tools. I have community. I have purpose. I have the ability to help someone else by being honest about my struggle and GRATEFUL for my progress.That's the SPARK. That's the LIGHT.This episode challenges you to practice SPARK this week. Show up grateful. Pass it on. Acknowledge the good. Recognize growth. Keep shining. Because people need your light. They need to see that it's possible to look back at hell and be GRATEFUL for what you learned there.Gratitude is a practice, not a feeling. You do it, and the feeling follows.Key topics: gratitude practice, personal transformation, being a light for others, recovery mindset, positive energy, emotional growth, overcoming adversity, finding purpose, spreading hope, gratitude and mental health, sobriety journey, anxiety recovery, personal development, inspirational living

I spoke at a meeting Sunday night and something happened that I need to talk about. After I shared that I've been sober 15,397 days—ONE DAY AT A TIME—and I'm STILL doing the work, still dealing with anxiety, still discovering wounds I didn't know I was carrying, several people cried. Not during my talk, but after. When we were just standing around talking.What they kept coming back to was loneliness. Feeling alone. Feeling like they're the only ones still struggling after all this time.I ended my talk that night by reading a Robin Williams quote: "I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone."And then I said, "I have NEVER felt that way in these rooms."That's when people broke. Because so many of them HAVE felt that way—in their families, in their relationships, even in recovery groups sometimes. They've felt alone in their struggle.And that's when it hit me: You don't need to be working a perfect program to help others. You don't need to have it all figured out. You just need to be honest about where you are.The program works. It's perfect for each person in different ways. But we don't execute it perfectly—and that's okay. We can still help others while we're still working on ourselves.This episode is about the exhaustion of recovery work. That feeling of "Really? I'm never DONE?" The despair that sometimes comes with knowing you'll be doing this work for the rest of your life. But also about the gift we have—tools, community, a roadmap for when life gets hard.I talk about why being perfect doesn't help people. Real, honest, still-struggling people help people. Your mess is your message. Not your perfection. Not your triumph. Your willingness to keep going even when it's hard—THAT'S what gives other people hope.Robin Williams struggled deeply with depression and addiction, but most people didn't know it because he never talked about it publicly. He made the world laugh while he was suffering alone. And that's exactly why we need to be honest. Because when we hide our struggles, when we pretend we have it all together, people feel alone in theirs.If you're sitting there thinking you can't help anyone because you're still a mess—you're wrong. If you've been working on yourself for years and you're still struggling—nothing is wrong with you. You're human. And your honesty about still struggling is what someone else needs to hear.Connection doesn't require perfection. Help doesn't require having all the answers. We're all just people trying to get better, one day at a time.#AnxietyRecovery #MentalHealthMatters #RecoveryJourney #SobrietyMatters #LongTermRecovery #PersonalGrowth #EmotionalWellness #MentalHealthAwareness #AddictionRecovery #YoureNotAlone #AuthenticLiving #VulnerabilityIsStrength #RobinWilliams #DepressionAwareness #EndTheStigma #RecoveryIsPossible #GetBetterAtBeingHuman #TerrificTuesdays #HonestyInRecovery #StillDoingTheWork

Scientists recently discovered that anxiety might be controlled by immune cells in our brains called microglia—not just neurons like we always thought. These cells work like competing pedals: one pushes anxiety forward, the other holds it back. Learning this didn't stop my anxiety from showing up. It just helped me recognize the pattern when it did.Lately, my anxiety has been showing up as this pull to reach out to women from my past. Just text them. See how they're doing. Maybe reconnect. On the surface, it sounds innocent. But when I stopped and asked myself WHY—why now, why them—I found three reasons my anxiety was using these women to avoid dealing with myself.First: I'm avoiding being lonely. Anxiety hates being alone, so it whispers, "Just text her, you won't feel so alone." But that's not connection—it's just anxiety looking for relief.Second: I'm avoiding doing the work on myself. It's easier to focus on someone else than fix my own issues. If I'm thinking about her, I don't have to sit with my own stuff.Third: I'm ignoring myself. When I'm focused on someone else, I don't have to pay attention to what I need or what I'm supposed to be doing with my own life.But here's the real insight: This is the SAME anxiety that destroyed those relationships in the first place. When I was WITH them, I lost myself because I was terrified of losing THEM. I stopped going to the gym, stopped doing my artwork, tried to become who I thought they wanted. I abandoned my own life to fit into theirs. Now I want them BACK because I'm terrified of being alone. Same pattern. Same anxiety. Just wearing a different costume.This episode is about recognizing when anxiety disguises itself as connection, how codependency and people-pleasing show up in relationships, and why we abandon ourselves trying to keep someone else. If you've ever changed who you are to keep someone around, stopped doing the things you love to spend every minute with them, or felt that pull to go back to a relationship that didn't work—this episode is for you.In recovery, we talk a lot about staying sober, but recovery is really about recovering from life. Recovering from anxiety, trauma, patterns that keep us stuck, and the voice in our head that says we're not enough. Episode 20 explores relationship anxiety, fear of abandonment, and what it means to stay with yourself instead of losing yourself in someone else.Key topics: anxiety and relationships, codependency, people-pleasing, fear of being alone, relationship patterns, self-abandonment, recovery from anxiety, personal growth, emotional awareness, staying true to yourself

Episode 19: I Heard You (And You're Not Alone)For 18 episodes, I've been telling you MY anxiety story. This one's about YOU.I think about my anxiety like a lion coming up over my shoulder. Sometimes it's just padding behind me. Other times the massive paws land on my shoulders, I hit the ground, and my head gets swallowed whole.Maybe your version isn't a lion. Maybe it's a dragon, a griffin, hell, maybe a tiny rat. But you have it.So here's what I'm asking: Where does YOUR lion show up? What actually helps when it does?Comment. DM me. Share your story. Because someone else needs to hear they're not alone in whatever you're dealing with.This podcast isn't just my story anymore. It's OUR story.Answer the question. I want to hear from you.Hashtags:#AnxietyRecovery #AnxietySupport #MentalHealthPodcast #YoureNotAlone #AnxietyAwareness #ShareYourStory

Episode 18: When Do I Stop Waiting for My Life to Start?I've spent 66 years waiting for my life to finally begin. Waiting until I'm organized enough, fixed enough, ready enough to actually start living.This week I caught myself doing it again - asking for the perfect timeline system that would finally make me into the person I'm supposed to be. And someone pointed out: "You're doing it again. Treating your life like a problem to solve instead of a life that's already happening."Then something happened. Over three days - Saturday, Sunday, Monday - God kept showing up. Louder each time. Making absolutely sure I understood: Stop waiting. I'm already here.Saturday: A real estate agent named Renessa called about helping me buy a home. We discovered we're both in recovery, both trying to help people survive. She lost her son to addiction. I told her about this podcast. She's promoting it to veterans, homeless, sober houses.Sunday: Went to an online AA meeting. The speaker talked about anxiety ruling her life. I related. They asked me to speak next Sunday. Asked me to sponsor someone. The thing I've been saying for months - "I need to serve more" - suddenly happened.Monday: Job interview. Before starting, I said "Your will, not mine." It went stellar. Twice the salary, twice the bonus, potential equity. God was sitting right beside me.None of this happened while I was waiting for my life to start. It happened while I was living it - taking Tucker to the dump, walking 8.4 miles, showing up for an interview.If you're waiting for permission to start living, this one's for you.Hashtags:#RecoveryPodcast #AnxietyRecovery #Sobriety #AARecovery #MentalHealthMatters #AddictionRecovery #SobrietyJourney #RecoveryWarrior #12StepRecovery #AnxietySupport #LiveYourLife #FaithInRecovery #RecoveryIsPossible#SoberLife #GetBetterAtBeingHuman

My youngest daughter taught me years ago: "I needed you to help, Daddy. Not take over." Apparently, I'm still learning that lesson.This week I'm talking about the pattern of trying to fix everything for everyone - and how it's rooted in anxiety. The need to control outcomes, to manage situations, to make myself valuable by solving problems - that's all anxiety trying to keep me safe. But it doesn't keep me safe. It keeps me isolated.From taking over my daughters' homework to jumping in with "Use Claude!" when my ex-wife mentioned her resume, I'm realizing that being smart doesn't mean you have to fix everything. Sometimes helping means shutting up and just listening.And I can't fix this pattern by fixing it. That's the irony.If you're someone who tries to control outcomes because sitting with uncertainty feels impossible, this one's for you.

Progress not perfect. Learning to be gentle with yourself instead of beating yourself for not finishing. We claim spiritual progress not spiritual perfect. Stick with it, recognize how much you are doing and take the credit. #Alcoholism, #codependancy, #loving you self. #you are love, t #personal growth. #twelve steps, #gethelp

When what we need is something that isn't a motivational platitude. When you really listen we learn that it isn't motivation, or a pep talk, what we really need is someone to understand and address the feelings more appropriately.#anxiety, #depression, #learning to change, #getting better, #livingsober, #helpfultips on living

Funny take on therapy and how a simple pet can be therapy along the way. A humorous take on support and becoming better humans. Anxiety, depression, loneliness, alone, understanding what we need is sometimes space. #Anxiety, #Panic, #Lonliness, #Alone, #Depression, #Anxious attachment, #Panic Attachments, #Therapy

We change the Title to Terrific Tuesday's: Getting Better at Being Human because we are getting better, and we able to laugh now, even at ourselves. If you feel you aren't, go back to the darker moments of episode 1 thru 8 to get something missing. #Anxiety, #recovery, #self-esteem, #depression, #spiritual growth

#Anxiety, #panic, #loneliness #depressionBrutal Honesty as a start to your life changing drastically, Honesty matters in building relations. THIS is how we change!!

Loneliness a direct or indirect by product of anxiety, depression, and a plethora of other challenges is one of the hardest and most dangerous emotions and or pain for people even those without panic or anxiety or depression. It is the cause of a high number of suicides. Listen in for some sound advice and a pathway.

On to happier lighter topics and growth!! Season 2 is about healing, getting better, attacking anxiety and other life problems with the tools we can develop.

Anxiety affects everyone that is a part of our life's. A fresh look at what happens and the realization that of how to change. Anxiety, catastrophic thinking, Panic, moods, racing thoughts, worst casescenarios

This podcast topic takes a look at the unrealistic view that prayer lone can cure certain types of mental health. It looks at the "and " theory of God and mental health treatments and how together they can work miracles.

What happens when you don't remain true to your inner most self. What happens when you live a lie about who you are when what you are is so much better and true version of yourself. Other people can already see the true you and love you for it, why would you want to be anything else.

Self Love- Being kind to yourself as a means to managing anxiety. Managing anxiety and greatly reducing anxiety by looking at your everyday brain talk.

Let's leave the darkness of the path and get to recovery. Life is fun even with the occasional "bad day." It doesn't mean we are failing, no matter what our brain tries to tell us. Put in the work, and watch what happens. I'm here and together, well together we stand.

My brain has an excellent weather forecasting system, except it's always wrong

This is where my brain tries to tell me all the things that are not true to keep me in my brain wasting valuable living time

This is a glance at the first steps of ubderstanding anxiety, what it feels like to be anxious, the logic (if any) and some thoughts about not solving but managing Anxiety.

What Anxious attachment and anxiety can do to our love lives

Episode an introduction to Terrific Tuesdays: For everbody but us. Recovery, anxiety, abandonment, anxious atrachment, OCD, ADHD