Dam Parenting

After Wednesdays school lunch episodes, i have recieved several DM's asking for hints and tips about schools - and without asking everyone to go back listeniing to the numerous episodes we already have in our archive - I decided to magpie this episode, and grab a selection of learnings from previous episodes and also add in a few of my own. In the Netherlands children start basisschool the day after their fourth birthday, so your child may walk into a class that's already formed. This episode covers what to expect in groep 1 and 2, what to send them in, and what to do in those first overwhelming weeks — for parents new to the Dutch system and for anyone heading back after the six-week summer holiday.WHAT'S IN THIS EPISODE- The Dutch school words nobody translates: groep 1, 2 and 3, kleuters, juf and meester, wennen, BSO, TSO, luizenzak, het tien-uurtje, gymles- Why gym day means your kleuter may be asked to strip to their underwear- Clothes, shoes, rain gear and mittens — Isabel Cruz's four practical rules- Leerplicht: your four-year-old is not legally required to be at school until they turn five, and what that means for half days and BSO- The summer slide, and why groep 1 and 2 have nothing to catch up on- What to say at pickup instead of "how was your day"- What to do when your child says someone was mean to themQUICK ANSWERSWhat is groep 1? The first year of Dutch primary school, for four-year-olds. Groep 1 and 2 run almost entirely on play; formal reading and writing start in groep 3.What is wennen? Settling-in practice mornings before your child officially starts. Ask your school how many they offer.What is BSO? Buitenschoolse opvang — after-school care, booked and waitlisted separately from school.When does school become compulsory? Leerplicht starts at five, from the first school day of the month after your child's fifth birthday.When do Dutch schools go back? Summer holidays are staggered across three regions, so return dates differ by where you live.MENTIONEDIsabel Cruz, Kaleidoscope Consulting — school choice and school-readiness workshops in AmsterdamFaye Poole, child psychologist — the emotional support and "someone was mean" frameworksMelody, Petit Gourmet Academy — our school lunch box episode, where she went through eleven real listener lunch boxesOur paediatric dentist episode — why you're still brushing their teeth for them at nineIt's a scramble of an episode at 9pm on a Friday night, but I hope it answers an unasked question for you.Tell me what I've missed: @damparentingpodcast on Instagram, or [email protected]

What do you actually put in a Dutch school lunch box? Parents at an Amsterdam school sent in 11 photos of their children's real lunch and snack boxes, and children's nutritionist Mélody goes through three of them with us — what's working, what a child's body genuinely needs to get through a school day, and what she'd change.This one is for you whether your child starts school next week starts next month, or next year. We cover what balance actually means across a week rather than in a single box, why the Dutch fruitpauze does more work than parents realise, why the water-only rule at most Dutch schools is a support rather than a restriction, and whether the classic broodje kaas is nutritionally fine. Spoiler: it is.We also talk about what happens when your food culture doesn't match the Dutch one — warm lunches versus sandwiches — and what to do when your child comes home asking for the same thing everyone else has. Plus three staples for the morning you have five minutes, why children under five shouldn't have nuts, and Melody's three professional permission slips for parents carrying too much already.All 11 lunch boxes are on our Instagram, @damparentingpodcast. Part of DAM Parenting's August back-to-school series for international and expat families in the Netherlands.

DAM Parenting says the stuff out loud that you might be thinking — just in your headphones, on your own time, when you're not quite ready to say it to anyone else yet.In episode 4 of DAM Sex, Eva is back with sex and intimacy counsellor Debby Poort to talk about something that doesn't get said enough — and not in the way it usually gets said. Sex is good for you. Not as a favour to your partner. Not because it's been a while. For you. Your sleep. Your cortisol. Your sense of yourself as a person who exists in a body that belongs to you.They get into the actual science — cardiovascular benefits, dopamine, oxytocin, endorphins, and yes, headaches — and then into the harder question: how do you share that with someone who is depleted, running on empty, and already feeling like everything is a should?Debby also unpacks responsive desire and the crucial difference between willingness and wanting — including the very real risk of responsive desire being used as pressure, and why that misses the point entirely. They talk about what it takes to reconnect to desire that has genuinely gone quiet — not just low, but offline — and whether it ever really comes back.Plus: why couples stop touching each other completely, the fear underneath non-sexual touch, the couples who stopped initiating without a single fight about it, and why there is always a reason — even when brain fog means you can't remember what it was.And Debby shares details of her free welcome course at sexandintimacycounseling.nl — no appointment needed, no commitment, just a place to start.Find Debby Poort: yellowwood.nlGot a question for Debby? DM us on Instagram or email [email protected]

What do you do when the school you want for your child simply doesn't exist? If you're Tim and Camilla, co-founders of Seeker — you build it.Seeker is a brand new private bilingual Dutch-English Montessori primary school opening in Eindhoven this September. And the children starting now? They are the founding class — the ones who will set the tone, the culture, and the standard for every child who comes after them.In this episode, Eva talks to Tim about what was missing in Eindhoven for international families, what it actually takes to open a private school inside the Dutch education system, why the inspectie only shows up after you open your doors, and what it means to ask families to trust something that has no history yet — because it's about to become history.A short, feel-good summer episode about the audacity of building something from nothing.Find Seeker at seeker.educationEindhoven | Bilingual Dutch-English | Montessori | Ages 4–6 | Opening September 2026Part of Dam Parenting's ongoing series on schools, systems, and raising children in the Netherlands.

You're away for the six weeks of school holiday in your home country. Maybe you dropped your children off and came back to work. Or you're staring down the new school year starting soon with a child who has barely spoken Dutch all summer — and a quiet worry that something has slipped.This episode is for all of it.Eva sits down with multilingualism specialist Mimi from Growing up Mulltilingual for a wide-ranging conversation about the language anxiety that follows multilingual families through summer — whether that's a child who goes quiet in the home language when they arrive at the grandparents', a child returning to the Netherlands after weeks abroad wondering if their Dutch is still there, or a family heading into September with a child who has barely spoken the school language in months.They cover what actually happens to language when the environment changes, why reduced activation is completely different from language loss, what the silent period really means, and the BICS versus CALP distinction that reframes what fluency actually looks like in a child.BICS (Social Language): The conversational language used in casual, face-to-face, or everyday interactions (e.g., chatting on the playground, ordering food). Because it is highly contextualized, learners typically master this within 6 months to 2 years of immersionCALP (Academic Language): The specialized, context-reduced language required to succeed in classroom subjects and professional settings (e.g., reading textbooks, writing essays, solving math problems). It takes significantly longer to develop—typically 5 to 7 years.Mimi also has something important to say about the child who compares themselves to monolingual cousins and feels behind — and why that comparison is never a fair one.For multilingual families in the Netherlands navigating summer, the homeland, and the return to the academic year.

Feeling like an exhausted parent before the summer holidays have even started? You're allowed to be. This short, one-take episode — no editing, no polish, on purpose — is a reality check on parent burnout, the mental load, and why holidays with young kids are not actually holidays (they're taking the show on the road).Recorded at the start of the Dutch summer break, this episode gives you permission to rest before you crash — because burnout doesn't send a calendar invite, and the signs of parental exhaustion are easy to miss until someone points them out. Consider this that someone.Inside: a four-question burnout self-check you can do on the bike, why the gap between how you're doing and how you say you're doing is the first warning light, lowering the bar for the school holidays without guilt, and why five minutes a day beats the 5K run you keep not doing. With a little help from Brené Brown's Daring Greatly and Leonard Cohen's beauty of cracks.Part of DAM Parenting's ongoing conversation about what it actually takes to stay well while raising kids far from home — because parents don't need fixing, they need conditions where they can function.

You catch a smell. A lotion, a tea, something cooking. And in under a second — before you've even thought about it — you're home.That's not nostalgia. That's not weakness. That is your nervous system doing something remarkable.This week we're joined by psychologist and cross-cultural specialist Elif Durgel, founder of Roots and Wings Academy in Eindhoven, for a warm, science-light conversation about why smell bypasses the thinking brain entirely and connects directly to memory, identity and emotion — and what that means for international parents living far from where they started.We talk about:Why smell hits faster and deeper than any other senseWhat nervous system regulation actually feels like from the insideThe invisible extra load of living between cultures — and why July makes it louderWhy so many of us quietly deny ourselves the things that helpWhy going to the expat shop isn't retail therapy — it's something more real than thatWhether you're heading home this summer, somewhere completely new, or discovering the Netherlands in July for the first time — this one is your permission slip.20 minutes. No jargon. Just a really good conversation. Find out more about Elif: rootsandwingsacademy.nl Come tell us yours on Instagram

Have you ever reacted to something and thought — why did I react like that? Or carried a weight you couldn't quite name?Today we're breaking down what trauma actually is — plainly, warmly, and without the jargon. Because if you're living in the Netherlands as an expat or immigrant, building a life far from home, navigating a foreign healthcare system, raising children in a second language — this conversation is for you.We're joined by Adina Petre, clinical psychologist and trauma therapist , who will be joining us monthly to help us understand ourselves a little better, one episode at a time.In this episode:— What trauma actually is (and what it isn't)— The difference between Big T and Little T trauma— Why the nervous system doesn't grade on a curve— What happens when we stay in survival mode for too long— And why your experience is real, because it happened to you — and that is enoughShare this episode with someone who needs the words.

This episode is brought to you by MamaSocial, who connect mums across the Netherlands so you actually have a community to lean on. Brunches, mingles, networking, whatever you need — MamaSocial will be hosting something near you. Check out their website and Instagram to find your nearest one now.Have you ever had sex because saying no felt harder than just getting it over with? In episode 3 of DAMSex, Eva sits down again with sex and intimacy counsellor Debby Poort to talk about obligation — or "duty" — sex, and what it quietly does to you, your partner, and your relationship over time.They unpack what's really happening when one partner is having sex out of guilt rather than desire, and what it does to the partner on the receiving end of that obligation — most of whom don't actually want it that way. Debby introduces responsive desire, a concept that explains why "wanting" doesn't always come before "willing," and why that's a completely normal, healthy starting point — especially for parents whose spontaneous desire has quietly disappeared since having kids.They also get into the orgasm gap, what a healthy "no" actually sounds like, how to respond to one without it becoming a wound, and how to keep this conversation going with your partner without it turning into an accusation.This episode is part of the monthly DAM Sex series — sex, intimacy, and connection for international parents in the Netherlands, and honestly, everywhere else too. Brought to you this month with thanks to MamaSocial, supporting our community of mums across the Netherlands.Find Debby Poort: yellowwood.nlGot a question for Debby? Send it via Instagram DM or email damparentingpodcast @ gmail.com

When Aldo's daughter arrived via surrogacy in Canada, he looked around and realised he'd spent 10 years focused on becoming a dad — and forgotten to build a community for her. So he started a WhatsApp group for four or five families. Within months, it had grown to 250 members from every corner of the Netherlands.In this episode, Aldo — founder of Queer Families NL — talks about what it actually takes to raise a child in a rainbow family here, the gap between the Netherlands' progressive reputation and the lived reality for queer parents, and the moment his two-year-old daughter came home from City Hall and said: "Mama — baby Sophia haved two papas. Kaya haved two papas."Whether you're a queer parent, an expat family finding your footing, or someone who simply wants to raise their kids in a more open world — this one's for you.Find Queer Families NL on Instagram: @queerfamilies.nl Tiktok @queerfamiliesNL and Aldo and Kim on @2GayDadsinNLDAM Parenting is the podcast for international and expat parents in the Netherlands. New episodes every week.

Your child speaks the school language all year without thinking. Your language — the one you grew up in, the one your parents use, the one you hoped would just stick — has to fight for space. And then summer comes. You get on a plane. And suddenly the whole dynamic shifts.In this episode, Eva talks to multilingualism specialist Mimi about what really happens to language development when families travel home — and why most parents underestimate how significant that window actually is.They talk about the child who understands everything but answers in the wrong language, why love of family isn't always enough motivation, and how to have the conversations that actually help your child build a relationship with their own multilingual identity — not just manage it.Practical, honest, and grounded in lived experience as a multilingual parent herself, Mimi brings a warmth to this topic that cuts through the anxiety and gives you something real to do.For international families in the Netherlands navigating language, identity, and belonging.

What actually happens after a relationship ends — when you have children together, you're living in the Netherlands, and your village is far away?Niko, a German dad, joins us this week to talk honestly about something most men never say out loud: the grief, the guilt, the fear of what separation would do to his kids — and how he came out the other side.They talk about growing apart after years together, the question he had to ask himself when staying felt like slowly disappearing, why he believes ending a marriage and ending a family are not the same thing, and how he and his ex built a coparenting relationship they're both proud of.This is not a conversation about divorce being easy. It's a conversation about what's possible when two parents put their children first — and take care of themselves in the process.For any dad who is struggling and hasn't told anyone yet: this one's for you.RESOURCES — Nationwide NetherlandsFor children:KIES (Kinderen In Een Scheiding Situaties) — free municipality-funded support groups for children aged 4–18. Available across the Netherlands. Self-refer or via your child's school. Find your local KIES via: kiesvoorhetkind.nl or kiesamsterdam.nl (Amsterdam-specific)Villa Pinedo — online support platform for children and young people with divorced parents. Available in English. Buddy app, forum, and parent resources: villapinedo.nl/englishFor parents:Mediation in the Netherlands — if you need support building a parenting plan, a registered mediator can help. Search via the Dutch Mediation Federation: mfnregister.nlYour gemeente — ask your local jeugdregisseur (youth coordinator) what coparenting support is available in your area. Every municipality is different.

If you became a father and suddenly felt like you couldn't keep up — with the admin, the overwhelm, the switching, the forgetting — this episode is for you.Liam, founder of Dads Do Art and familiar Dam Parenting voice, joins Eva to talk about his late ADD diagnosis. What fatherhood revealed that decades of coping had hidden. How he navigated the Dutch healthcare system — the huisarts, the waiting lists, the private vs public route. Why he initially thought he'd fooled the professionals. What medication actually changed, and what it didn't. And the moment his mum arrived at the diagnostic session with every school report from age seven, and everything finally made sense.This episode covers: adult ADHD and ADD diagnosis in the Netherlands, neurodiversity and fatherhood, burnout and undiagnosed attention difficulties, ADHD medication, ADHD therapy, and the very first step to take if you think this might be you.For international parents in the Netherlands. Every Wednesday.

The Dutch housing market is fast, opaque, and genuinely unforgiving if you don't know the rules — and most of us didn't get the rulebook. In this episode, Eva is joined by Nic, co-founder of Buy Home Helper, who built a platform specifically for internationals navigating the Dutch home buying process after his own experience of lost bids, hidden costs, surprise neighbours, and a final invoice that came out of nowhere.We get into what the market actually looks like right now, why more internationals are being pushed into buying whether they're ready or not, and how Buy Home Helper guides you from first search to signed keys — with the tips, warnings, and stage-gate reminders your makelaar probably isn't sharing. If you're logging into Funda morning and night, building spreadsheets, and wondering if there's an insider club you somehow missed — this one's for you.Exclusive offer for the Dam Parenting community: Use code DAMPARENTING at buyhomehelper.com — the first 10 listeners get a full year free.

Confused about vaccinations in the Netherlands? You're not alone — it's one of the most asked questions in every expat parenting group. This week I'm joined by Youth Healthcare physician Dr. Marenne van Hengel Budde for a complete, plain-English guide to the Dutch vaccination system — from pregnancy through to age 14, and everything in between.We cover the full Dutch National Immunisation Programme (RVP), why chickenpox isn't on the Dutch schedule, the BCG tuberculosis vaccination that surprises many international families, meningitis B, travel vaccinations, and how to check your child's vaccination record online in minutes.IN THIS EPISODE: The Dutch National Immunisation Programme — who runs it, how it works, and why your GP is probably not involved Every vaccine on the schedule — from the whooping cough vaccine in pregnancy to the HPV vaccine at age 9, including the new RSV antibody (September 2025) and rotavirus vaccine (added 2024) Chickenpox — why it's not in the Dutch programme, what to do if you want it privately, and why age 12 matters BCG tuberculosis vaccine — who receives it, how the automatic invitation works, and what to expect from the skin reaction Meningitis B — why it's not included in the Dutch programme and how to access it privately (and what it costs) Travel vaccinations with babies and young children — where to go and how far in advance to plan How to check your child's full vaccination record online at mijn.rivm.nl — in under 2 minutes Missed a vaccination window? Here's what actually happens (it's probably not as bad as you think) Arriving from abroad with an existing vaccination schedule — do you have to start again? No. Here's how it works.ALL LINKS AND RESOURCES:🔗 Dutch National Vaccination Programme (English): https://www.rivm.nl/en/dutch-vaccination-programme🔗 Check your child's vaccination record online: https://mijn.rivm.nl🔗 JGZ parental portal (online environment of the Youth Healthcare Centre): https://www.mijnkindgegevens.nl🔗 DigiD (needed to log in to mijn.rivm.nl): https://www.digid.nl🔗 KNCV TB Foundation — high-risk TB country list: https://www.kncvtbc.org🔗 GGD — find your local office for BCG and travel vaccinations: https://www.ggdghor.nl🔗 LCR Travel Vaccination Advice (enter destination country for required vaccines): https://www.lcr.nl🔗 Private vaccination centres in the Netherlands (incl. chickenpox / varicella): https://www.vaccinatiecentrum.nl🔗 RIVM contact (to request vaccination record by email or post): https://www.rivm.nl/en/contact

‘We used to be so passionate. Now we’re housemates who just happen to share a bed. I’m scared we’ve lost something we can’t get back.’IIn this episode, sex and intimacy counsellor Debby Poort answers it.This month on DAM SEX, Eva and Debby go into Emotionally Focused Therapy — the attachment-based model that reframes ‘we have a sex problem’ as ‘we have a connection problem.’ They talk about the pursue–withdraw cycle, what it looks like in real couples, and why both people in the cycle are doing the exact same thing: trying to get their needs met. Plus: the A.R.E. framework (Accessible, Responsive, Engaged), what emotional safety actually feels like in the body, and why couples wait an average of seven years before getting help.The cycle is the problem. Not the couple.Debby Poort — Sex & Intimacy CounsellorYellowwood | Amsterdam & AmstelveenWebsite: www.yellowwood.nlDAM SEX is monthly. Every episode builds. Dam Parenting — every Wednesday.

Gossip. Gossib. Godsib. The same word — and the meaning was changed on purpose. Before gossip became something shameful, it meant godsib: God's sibling. Your circle. The women who gathered around you when you gave birth, who cooked and held and stayed. That tradition was deliberately dismantled — and we are reclaiming it.In this final episode of the Maternal Mental Health Month series, I sit down with artist Sanne Freijdag, whose project the Gossib Gathering is doing exactly that: bringing women together over fabric, stitching, and the kind of honest conversation that happens when your hands are busy and your guard is down.We cover the medieval history of women's gathering spaces, how the quilting circle became women's last sanctioned meeting place, the science of why working with your hands is so healing, and what matrescence — the becoming of a mother — has to do with all of it.And we launch the next session: three Sunday sessions in Amsterdam Oost where we'll be making a quilt together for one pregnant woman in our community. Because you can't always see your village — but you can make something that proves it exists.You don't need experience. You just need to show up. Book your spot HERE 📅 28 June · 5 July · 12 July 12:30–16:30 GROND, AmsterdamA donation of €10 on the day to fund the supplies is all that is asked! Sanne Freijdag: www.freijdag.com Instagram @sanne.freijdag

We close Maternal Mental Health Month with something the research says matters just as much as therapy: community. Rachael Forester — therapist and new lead of MamaSocial — joins Dam Parenting to talk about why mum friends aren't optional. The science of co-regulation. Why female friendship in early motherhood is neurologically unique. And what MamaSocial — the community space for international mothers across the Netherlands — actually looks like to walk into for the first time.If you've moved to the Netherlands, newly pregnant or just looking to fine more mom frirneds and you're doing this without your village yet — this one is for you. MamaSocial runs events in Amsterdam, Rotterdam, Utrecht, Haarlem and more. MamaSocial instagram page

Maternal mental health doesn't always look like crisis. Sometimes it looks like not having a single person to call when your baby spikes a temperature at midnight. This week, as part of our Maternal Mental Health Month, Eva speaks to Robyn from Delft Mama — a volunteer-run charity that has been quietly building community for international families in and around Delft since 2007.They talk about what belonging actually does for a mother's mental health, why showing up to that first event is the hardest and most important step, and how a group of volunteers has built something that feels like the sisters and mothers so many of us left behind.If you're in the Delft area or the surrounding areas feeling like you still haven't found your people — this one's for you.Find Delft Mama on Instagram and Facebook, or at delfmama.nl. For international parents in the Netherlands. Every Wednesday.

When was the last time you danced? Not in the kitchen with a toddler on your hip — actually danced, to music you love, in a space that felt like yours?On this special episode on Dam Parenting closing up the Maternal Mental Health Month series, Eva is joined by Morgan and Sam from Tiny Grooves — two Australians, nine years in Amsterdam, five kids between them, and the creators of something genuinely wonderful: rave-style daytime events for parents and babies in real Amsterdam club venues.We talk about why joy is one of the most underrated tools in the maternal mental health toolkit, what happens on a dance floor when a parent finally feels like themselves again, and why your baby actually loves techno.Their next event is June 21st — Father's Day. See you there!Find them at @tinygrooves on Instagram.Dam Parenting — for international families in the Netherlands.Outro Music is called 'Dream a Dream' by Moby.

For those in the Eindhoven region, we have reached out to a community down there, ready and waiting to welcome you.On this episode I'm joined by Sylvia, founder of Expat Kids Eindhoven — a community she built from scratch after having her baby during COVID, far from her family in Colombia, and realising other international mamas were probably feeling exactly the same.We talk about what actually happens when women walk into a space where they finally feel understood, why belonging isn't a luxury for expat moms, and what Sylvia would say to any mama who hasn't found her people yet.If you're in or around Eindhoven, find Sylvia at expatkidsineindhoven.nl or on Instagram at expatkidsineindhoven_This episode is part of our May Maternal Mental Health Month series.

What if one of the most powerful things you could do for your mental health as a mother didn't involve a therapist, a screen, or a to-do list — but your own voice?This week on Dam Parenting, we're closing out our Maternal Mental Health Month series with something that surprised even us. Host Eva went along to a Singing Mamas session in Amsterdam — and felt it from the very first song.Singing Mamas is a group singing movement for mothers that started in the UK and is now building community across the world. Babies are welcome from the earliest weeks. No musical experience needed. What happens in the room is something science is only beginning to catch up with: group singing regulates the nervous system, lowers cortisol, reduces anxiety, and creates a felt sense of safety and belonging that so many mothers quietly need and rarely find.Eva sits down with Danielle, the woman who brought Singing Mamas to Amsterdam, to talk about what actually happens when mothers sing together — the emotional releases, the unexpected connections, the women who walked in disconnected and left feeling like themselves again.This episode is for the mother who feels anxious, isolated, overstimulated, or not quite herself. The one who thinks "that's not for me" — and needs to hear why it might be exactly for her. This isn't wellness as performance. It's somatic, communal, and real.In this episode we cover:— Why singing together works differently to singing alone— The psychology and neuroscience behind group vocalisation and stress relief— What mothers experience emotionally when they allow themselves to let go and sing— How community singing builds connection in the postpartum period and beyond— What to expect if you walk into a session for the first timeIf you've been looking for something that goes beyond talking about your feelings — something somatic, accessible, and rooted in community — this one is for you.You can find Danielle on Instagram at danielle.singingmamas.amsDam Parenting is our international parents in the Netherlnads podcast for the honest, unfiltered side of parenthood.

Starting solids is meant to be an exciting milestone—but for many parents, it brings anxiety, confusion, and a constant feeling of getting it wrong.When do you actually start? What should your baby eat first? Is baby-led weaning realistic—or just something we see on Instagram? And what does “starting solids” actually look like when you’re living in the Netherlands, shopping in Dutch supermarkets, and raising your child between cultures?In this episode, I’m joined by Melody, a paediatric and perinatal dietitian from Petit Gourmet Academy, who supports families from pregnancy through to the family table.Together, we talk about:The real signs your baby is ready for solids (beyond just age)The most common anxieties parents face—and what’s actually normalFirst foods in real life (not just perfect plates online)Purees vs baby-led weaning vs doing what works for youWhat feeding a baby actually looks like in busy, overwhelmed householdsAffordable, realistic food options from Dutch supermarketsWhy feeding your baby can feel emotionally heavy—and how to reduce that pressureThis is not about doing it perfectly. This is about understanding what matters—and letting go of the rest.Whether you’re approaching 4–6 months or already feeling the pressure, this episode is here to help you feel more confident, informed, and less alone.

In the Netherlands, if you are experiencing postpartum depression (PPD), your first point of contact should be your huisarts (general practitioner) or verloskundige (midwife). They can formally diagnose you and provide a referral to specialized, Dutch healthcare-covered psychological care.There is the Pop Poli clinic, which we prevoiusly had on as a guest 2 years ago, A POP-poli (Psychiatrie, Obstetrie, Pediatrie) is a specialized outpatient clinic in Dutch hospitals that provides care for women with a desire to have children, who are pregnant, or who have recently given birth, and who are dealing with mental health challenges. They are located in all major hospitals:OLVG Amsterdam, St Antonius Utrecht, Catharina Ziekenhuis Eindhoven, Antes Rotterdam are some examples. Equally there are nationwide psychological support teams which you can go through your huisarts to get referred to such as: Psyche zwangerschap and Postpartum Centrum Nederland

We talk a lot about the beauty of raising multilingual children — the richness, the connection, the gift of language. But what about what it actually costs to hold it all together?In this episode for Maternal Mental Health Month, host Eva welcomes back multilingual family coach Mimi from Growing up Multilingual, for an honest conversation about the side of language parenting that rarely gets named: the mental load.They explore why it's not the languages themselves that wear you down — it's the isolation, the pressure to stay consistent when life isn't, the guilt, the grief, and the endless feeling of being the only one keeping it all from slipping away.Mimi also shares what actually helps: building community, creating simple and realistic plans, sharing the responsibility, and — perhaps most importantly — knowing when to let go.If you've ever asked yourself "am I doing enough?" or "is it too late?" — this one's for you.Topics covered:– Why multilingualism isn't the problem, but the conditions around it often are– The perfectionism trap and how social media distorts reality– What to do when one parent carries all the language responsibility– Practical ways to reduce the mental load without abandoning your goals– What to prioritise when things feel truly overwhelming

 If you have ever lain awake in the dark, baby in arms, scrolling Instagram and feeling quietly worse with every post you see — this episode is for you.This week as part of our Maternal Mental Health Month series, Eva sits down with positive psychologist Eva from The Joy Embassy for an honest, warm conversation about what social media really does to new mothers in the Netherlands — and what we can actually do about it. But the conversation goes further than most: into the history of how community itself collapsed when television arrived in the 1950s, into sociology of the forbidden emotions of motherhood, and into what it means to try to build real human connection in the jungle years of early parenthood.In this episode:Why seeing happy motherhood online makes struggling mothers feel worse — and the research behind itHow the algorithm actively shapes your postpartum experience without your consentThe history of community collapse — from bowling alleys to living rooms to InstagramWhat de tropenjaaren (the jungle years) means, and who reaches backWhat positive psychology actually offers a mother in the dark — beyond toxic positivityRachael Forester's new community space — real alternatives to scrolling- Find our more about Rachael's new community space check out her website: RachaelForesterTherapy and scroll to bottom to find a sheet you can fill out. This is not a replacement for crisis, specialist care or therapy.  It's an opporunity to find grounding in such a ground shaking moment of parenthood in general. I am not an expert. I am a parent with questions and a computer, trying to let people overhear conversations that might help them feel less alone. For international mothers in the Netherlands navigating postpartum far from home: you are not alone. And this podcast is my way of reaching back.If you wan to read articles - check out these ones:Exploring the influence of social media ‘Mumfluencers’ on postpartum body imageExploring the influence of social media 'Mumfluencers' on postpartum body imageWhy Don’t We Talk About the Joys of Motherhood Anymore?Effects of Social Media on Motherhood“I Don’t Want to Be Bad Mommy, but I Also Don’t Want to Be the Bad Mom”: How Mothers Story Their Experiences Navigating Social Media with Their Children

Do you ever feel like you're constantly dropping the ball, losing yourself in the chaos of motherhood, or just can't seem to keep up — no matter how hard you try? It might not just be motherhood. In this episode, originally aired as part of our 2024 Maternal Mental Health series, I'm joined by Emma, founder of ADHD Potential, a mother and ADHD coach who knows this reality from the inside out.We talk about what ADHD actually looks like in mothers — because it doesn't always look the way you'd expect — the shame spiral that so many women carry silently, emotional dysregulation, executive dysfunction, and the strategies that can genuinely help. We also talk about why so many women go undiagnosed for years, and what to do if you suspect ADHD but don't know where to start.If you're based in the Netherlands, we cover how the referral process works and what to expect, including waiting times and insurance coverage.This episode is part of Damn Parenting's Maternal Mental Health Month series — bringing honest, real conversations about the things that affect us as mothers, the ones we don't always get to say out loud.In this episode:What ADHD in motherhood really looks likeWhy so many women are diagnosed late — or not at allThe shame and guilt that comes with it, and how to work through itPractical strategies for managing ADHD as a motherHow to get diagnosed in the NetherlandsWhy "good enough" parenting is not only okay — it's necessary

You’re exhausted. You’re touched-out. You haven’t wanted sex in months and you’re quietly wondering if something is broken. Nothing is broken.This Maternal Mental Health month we’re talking about what nobody talks about: what actually happens to your body, your brain, your desire — and your sense of yourself as a sexual being — after you become a mother.We are joined by Debby Poort, a sex and intimacy counselor based in Amstelveen at her psychotherapy practice Yellow Wood. She also works online.We talk about matrescence and the body. Breastfeeding and desire. Guilt. Performance anxiety. And why your pre-baby self is not the benchmark.For the woman at 2am who hasn’t had sex in 6 months and is scared it’s gone forever: it isn’t. This episode is for you.Part of the Maternal Mental Health Month series.

After birth, so many women are told their symptoms are normal — and then left to quietly wonder if they are. Leaking, pain, pressure, discomfort during sex. Normal? Or not?This week I'm joined by Sofía, a pelvic floor physiotherapist based in The Hague with 13 years of specialist experience — and an immigrant herself who understands the unique position international families are in when navigating Dutch healthcare.We cover what's actually normal in the first six weeks postpartum, when to seek help, what a pelvic floor physio appointment in the Netherlands actually involves (including the parts nobody warns you about), and the one thing Sofía wants every woman to hear: there is always a solution.For the international parent in the Netherlands sitting with something they haven't told anyone: this one is for you.

After a late phone call with a friend, I felt the urge to record something very different than usual, as we already are bombarderd with Mothers Day deals, discounts and bundles - but the reality is - we don't want or need more stuff. Our mental overload is barely dealing with managing our home as it is. So this was mine to you. Just words - and acknowledgement for all you go through, raisinig kids, on the daily. Happy Mothers day.

There are some experiences in motherhood that don't end when we think they will.Pregnancy loss is often spoken about as something that happens — and then we move forward. But what's talked about far less is what happens when the grief doesn't stay in the past. When it returns in another pregnancy. Or shows up after your healthy baby is born.Today I'm joined by Dr. Renée Out — a doctor, bereavement counsellor, and founder of Renée Begeleiding — who works closely with women navigating the emotional impact of miscarriage, stillbirth, abortion, and medical pregnancy loss.We talk about why grief doesn't follow timelines, why a healthy baby doesn't erase a previous loss, how the body holds what the mind tries to move past, and what partners can actually do to help.If you've ever thought: "I should feel grateful… so why do I still feel this?" — this one is for you.Part of our Maternal Mental Health Month series.

Nobody told you about this part.The rage that rises from nowhere. The way you can go from calm to completely overwhelmed in seconds. The fact that it almost always lands on your partner — while the actual source of the pressure stays invisible.Postpartum rage is one of the most common and least talked-about experiences of early motherhood. It is not a character flaw. It is a nervous system under siege.I sit down with Dr. Naomi Gibson, couples therapist and Dam Parenting's resident psychologist, to talk about what postpartum rage actually is, why it happens, who it targets, and what getting help looks like in the Netherlands.We cover:The clinical definition — and why postpartum rage isn't in the DSM even though it's realThe hormone and sleep science behind itWhy expat and international parents carry an additional isolation layer that makes it worseHow to access support in the Netherlands: verloskundige, huisarts, POP-poli, GGZHow couples can start to talk about this without it becoming another argumentThis is the first episode in our Maternal Mental Health series.If you are holding it together on the outside, this one is for you.

This month is about the conversations we don’t say out loud.I’m bringing in familiar voices and new ones to talk about maternal mental health, the reality of motherhood, and what it actually feels like beneath the surface.These are not easy conversations.They may feel uncomfortable at times.But they matter.Because motherhood can be both a gift…and one of the most draining, excruciating, identity-shifting experiences we go through.And yet, so many of us are expected to carry onas if our entire world hasn’t been turned upside down.These episodes are not for everyone.But they are for someone.They’re not here to give you answers.They’re not here to “fix” anything.They’re here so you can hear something and think:“Okay… it’s not just me.”You are not meant to suffer in silence.You are not meant to do this without support.You are not meant to navigate this without a village.So take what you need from this month.Leave what you don’t.And if something resonates—reach out, share it, or start a conversation of your own.Because it matters.And you matter in this too.

Are you pregnant in the Netherlands — and not sure what your rights at work actually are?You are not alone. This is the most asked-about topic in international parent communities, and in this episode we finally get it answered properly — by an employment lawyer.Eva sits down with Ferline van Laerhoven, founder of Fair Line Law and Dutch employment law specialist, who has spent a decade working with international companies and employees in the Netherlands. In this conversation they cover:→  When you are legally required to tell your employer you're pregnant→  Whether employers are allowed to ask if you're pregnant (even in a job interview)→  Medical appointments and prenatal checks — are they paid time?→  What workplace adjustments employers must legally provide→  Night shifts, overtime and physically demanding work during pregnancy→  Extra paid rest breaks — the legal right most people don't know they have→  Sick leave during pregnancy: why it is treated differently, and why you get 100%→  How sick leave interacts with maternity leave length→  What happens after maternity leave ends if you're still unwell (including PPD/PPA)→  The 16 weeks: how it splits, how it's applied for, and the WAZO process→  Permanent contracts, temporary contracts, part-time and freelancer rights→  What non-renewal of a contract while pregnant really means legally→  Miscarriage before and after 24 weeks — what Dutch law says right now→  The Amsterdam and Utrecht grievance policy — and what it means nationally→  Stillbirth rights and bereavement leave→  Documentation, complaint timelines and what to do when things go wrong→  Partner leave — the full 6-week pictureRESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Fair Line Law — employment lawyer specialising in pregnancy and parenthood at workWebsite: www.fairlinelaw.nl  Instagram: @fairlinelaw    Email: [email protected] Loket — free basic legal advice (income-dependent): www.juridischloket.nlUWV — Employee Insurance Agency, maternity benefit questions: www.uwv.nl Dam Parenting Podcast — questions and community: [email protected] leave episode coming soon — send your questions to [email protected] or DM us on Instagram.

If you've been carrying the weight of your child's minority language entirely on your own — this episode is going to change how you think about multilingual parenting.This week Eva is joined by multilingual family expert Mimi to explore one of the most undertalked truths in raising bilingual children: you cannot do this alone, sustainably. Language lives in connection — not in one determined parent pushing harder.We talk about what a 'multilingual village' actually looks like for expat families in the Netherlands, how to build one intentionally when you don't have family nearby, the practical power of language partners and community events, and why having multiple people in your child's language life changes everything.Whether you're parenting in English, Bulgarian, Spanish, French or anything in between — this conversation will leave you feeling less alone and more equipped. For international families in the Netherlands, this is the permission to stop being a one-person show.

When I started moving beyond the easy first foods and into toddler snacks, pouches, crackers, and supermarket “healthy” options, I realised I had no idea what I was actually looking at.Why does one snack get a bright green A, while plain nuts or hummus score lower?How can the same crisps get a better Nutri-Score in the larger bag?And why are some brands now quietly removing their Nutri-Score altogether?In this solo DAM Parenting episode, I break down a fascinating Keuringsdienst van Waarde Dutch TV investigation into the Nutri-Score system — translated into English for international parents navigating Dutch supermarkets.We unpack:what Nutri-Score actually measureswhy it’s still voluntary across Europehow brands can “optimise” ultra-processed foods to score betterwhy some frozen pizzas can jump from E to Bwhy certain brands are now dropping the label under the stricter 2026 algorithmwhat this really means for baby snacks, toddler foods, and busy parents trying to make good choicesIf you’ve ever stood in a supermarket wondering whether the front of the packet matches what’s actually inside, this episode is for you.A practical, honest conversation about food labels, processed snacks, and the emotional labour of feeding a family in the Netherlands.If you enjoy these Dutch TV breakdown episodes, message me !

What if your second birth was so different from your first that it barely felt like the same experience?Vivi and Liam join me for something we haven't done before on Dam Parenting — both parents, together, sharing two births, two completely different outcomes, and the one thing that changed everything between them: preparation.Vivi is a Greek mum building her own community space in Amsterdam. Liam joined us before to talk about the vulnerability of fatherhood. Together they walk through the reality of giving birth in the Netherlands twice over — what the first birth taught them, how hypnobirthing shifted Vivi's relationship with her own body, what their doula Toni made possible, and how Liam went from a partner standing on the sidelines to one who was fully present and capable.Both births on their due dates. Both in the Netherlands. One family, transformed by what they chose to learn.In this episode:What hypnobirthing actually is and whether it worksThe midwife-kraamzorg-doula team and how they work together in the NetherlandsWhat partners can do to genuinely support a birth (beyond just showing up)Why the second birth was so different — and what made the differenceIf you want to reach out to Vivi - you can find her at GreekMama on Instagram - she is always up to new and wonderful things!Liam can be found as a supporting member of so many projects, including - Dads Do Art - Connecting dads & families through creativity and play in Amsterdam Nieuw West. And of course his own Instagram page where you can find out more about his upcoming comedy projects. And if you want to find out more about their wonderful Doula - her instagram is Toni Muller Doula .

An episode over 2 years in the making, and finally it's here. It's not a full comprehensive episode, we dont want to bog you down with everything all at once, but Dr Marenne Van Hangel Budde joins Dam Parenting to discuss tthe foundational elements of the Netherlands health care system for children. We discuss why the system can feel confusing to immigrants, who is who in this system (Huisarts, Consultatiebureau, Kinderarts, SEH, HAP) .We have quick fire rounds to answer real examples of who to reach out to when our little one might need help. We touch on insuarnce, referrals and costs also relarted to our children.

On Wednesday , I rereleased the episode with Dr. Koen Deurloo — the OB-GYN who pioneered the mother-assisted cesarean at Diakonessenhuis Utrecht. You saved it, shared it, and sent it to friends who needed it.Today, we hear from the other side of that operating table.Geri had her youngest child with Dr. Deurloo as her gynaecologist, and in this episode she walks us through everything — the moment she first heard about the MAC, the decision-making process, her pregnancy, her preparation, and the extraordinary experience of lifting her own baby into the world with her own hands.This is an honest, emotional, and deeply human birth story. And it is for every mother who has ever wondered whether she is allowed to want something different.In this episode:— Why Geri chose a mother-assisted cesarean and how she made that decision— What the preparation and pregnancy journey looked like— A step-by-step account of the day itself — walking into the hospital, the operating room, the moment of birth— Recovery, the emotional aftermath, and what she knows now that she wishes she had known before— What she would say to a mother sitting somewhere right now, wondering if this could be right for herWhether you are planning a cesarean, hoping to avoid one, or simply want to feel prepared for every possibility — this episode will stay with you.Follow Geri on Instagram here moedergeassisteerdekeizersnedeListen to our Dr. Koen Deurloo episode for the full clinical picture — linked in show notes. @kldloo on InstagramDAM Parenting is a weekly podcast for international families navigating pregnancy, birth and parenthood in the Netherlands. Every Wednesday (plus an extra here or there!)

April is International Cesarean Awareness Month — and I can think of no better time to bring back one of our most-loved episodes.In the Netherlands, the cultural weight around birth can make a cesarean feel like a deviation from the "right" path. But what if a C-section could still be a deeply empowering, connected, and beautiful birth experience? Dr. Koen Deurloo, OB-GYN at Diakonessenhuis Utrecht, is proof that it absolutely can.Dr. Deurloo is the pioneer of the mother-assisted cesarean — a practice he developed in 2017 in which the birthing parent plays an active, physical role in their own surgical birth. Since then, he has performed around 400 mother-assisted births, published his book Door de ogen van een gynaecoloog, and is now training gynecologists across the Netherlands to bring this option to more hospitals.In this episode, together with Dr. Deurloo we explore:What a mother-assisted cesarean actually looks like — and why it's just 4 extra minutesHow the Dutch medical system approaches maternal agency in the operating theaterSkin-to-skin contact, postpartum recovery, and bonding after a cesareanHow to advocate for your birth preferences — even when the system pushes backWhy cesarean births deserve to be honored, not minimizedWhether you're planning a C-section, want to be prepared for every birth path, or simply believe that mothers deserve to feel empowered in every delivery room — this episode is for you.Find Dr. Deurloo:📱 Instagram: @kldloo💻 Expert at Ouders van Nu & How About Mom

I thought I’d feel better by now.The days are longer. The light is back.But instead of feeling energised… many parents feel exhausted, heavy, and behind.In this episode, I’m sharing what it really feels like to come out of winter in motherhood—the emotional backlog, the pressure to re-engage, and why spring isn’t always a fresh start.If this is where you are right now, this episode is for you.

Cancer as an expat in the Netherlands hits differently.In this episode of DAM Parenting, we speak with Katherine, founder of Cancer Support Netherlands — a Dutch non-profit offering English-language, community-based support for internationals navigating cancer.Being diagnosed with cancer can turn life upside down.But for those living far from home — expats, immigrants, international families — the experience can feel even more isolating.Navigating treatment in a different language, without your usual support systems, while trying to process the emotional weight of illness… can be overwhelming.Cancer Support Netherlands was created to bridge this gap.In this episode, we explore:• What it means to face cancer while living abroad• Language barriers in the Dutch healthcare system• The emotional reality of illness without family nearby• Support for partners, caregivers, and families• The importance of English-language peer support• How community spaces can change the experience of cancerCancer Support Netherlands offers:• Confidential peer support groups• English-language community spaces• Events, workshops, and expert-led sessions• Support for patients, survivors, and caregivers• Flexible ways to connect — privately or in communityThey welcome:• Expats and internationals• Migrants and immigrants• Refugees• Binational families• Long-term residents• Anyone who feels most comfortable expressing themselves in EnglishThis episode is released in recognition of Daffodil Day — a national day of cancer awareness in Ireland.Because cancer awareness isn’t just one day a year.And for those living abroad, the need for support doesn’t follow a calendar.If you are navigating cancer, supporting someone who is, or part of an international community in the Netherlands — this episode is for you.No one should face cancer alone.And language should never be a barrier to support.Links for suport:Public Page (Friends & Supporters)Follow our work, events, advocacy and Hive Network updates: https://www.facebook.com/share/1Bm2VGKr5b/?mibextid=wwXIfr Facebook Private Support Group (confidential space)For emotional support, connection, and sharing with others affected by cancer: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1DBabL8fWr/?mibextid=wwXIfr Instagram https://www.instagram.com/cancer_support_netherlands LinkedIn https://nl.linkedin.com/company/cancer-support-netherlands

You've just received an autism diagnosis for your child — and suddenly someone tells you to stop speaking your home language. For international families in the Netherlands, that advice doesn't just feel wrong. It feels like losing a piece of who you are.In this episode, Eva sits down with linguist and multilingualism specialist Mimi Potvin to talk about what the research actually says about raising autistic children in multilingual families — and why so much of the advice parents receive is simply not supported by science.After listening, you'll know why bilingualism does not cause additional language delays in autistic children, what actually happens when families are told to drop their home language, and how to build a flexible, child-led language approach that supports both development and belonging.New episodes every week. Subscribe wherever you listen.

Becoming a mother is a total biological and psychological transformation, yet society often expects us to "bounce back" as if nothing happened. In this archive favorite, Eva continues the conversation on matrescence with Amsterdam-based doula Ilena Standring, focusing on the deeply personal topic of body image. We move past the superficial to have a warm, honest, and direct conversation about why so many women feel like strangers in their own skin after pregnancy.We explore how patriarchal beauty standards and diet culture complicate the postpartum experience, and why shifting your focus from body perfection to body functionality can be life-changing. Please note: this episode touches on sensitive topics, including trauma and sexual abuse. This is a journey toward learning to inhabit yourself again—not as the person you were before, but as the woman you are now. Your body adapted, healed, and sustained life; it’s time to offer it the compassion it deserves.

Matrescence isn't a one-time event; it’s an ongoing evolution. In this special archive episode of Dam Parenting, we revisit a powerful conversation with Amsterdam-based doula Ilena Standring that is just as relevant today as it was two years ago. While many of us have now heard the term "matrescence," we often still struggle with the quiet, daily reality of feeling like we’ve lost ourselves in the process of raising children.We take a warm, honest, and direct look at the emotional and psychological rewiring that happens when we become mothers. Ilena shares her profound insights on holding space for this transition, helping you recognize that the "identity fog" you might be feeling isn't a failure—it's a transformation. Whether you are a new parent or years into the journey, this episode is a reminder to bring these silent shifts back into the light. It’s time to stop just surviving your new identity and start honoring the woman you are becoming.

Why is it that 67% of mothers have never heard the word "matrescence," yet almost all of them are living through it? In this powerful and essential conversation, Eva sits down with clinical psychologist Dr. Naomi Gibson to unpack the developmental process of becoming a mother. Much like adolescence, matrescence involves a massive rewiring of the brain, hormonal shifts, and a complete reorganization of your identity.We take a warm, honest, and direct look at why so many mothers—especially those raising families abroad—feel "lost" after having a baby. We explore why defining yourself solely as a "mother" can be harmful to your mental health and how to navigate the dip in self-esteem that often follows this life-altering transition. If you’ve ever looked in the mirror and asked, "Who am I now?" this episode is your permission slip to acknowledge that you aren't just a parent—you are a woman in the middle of a massive evolution.

Parenthood rarely follows the script we imagine, but for families navigating a rare disease diagnosis, the shift can feel overwhelming. In this warm, honest, and direct episode for Rare Disease Day, Eva is joined by Sarah, who shares her family’s lived experience of parenting in the Netherlands through the lens of a rare condition. We move past the clinical details to discuss the "human" side: the initial grief, the search for a diagnosis, and the power of finding a community that truly understands.Sarah introduces A Different Story, a vital space created for parents in the Netherlands to be seen, heard, and held. We discuss how labels can serve as tools for finding support rather than reasons for hiding, and why building a village of "rare" parents is essential for maintaining your own resilience. Whether you are at the start of a diagnostic journey or are looking for ways to advocate for your child’s dignity, this episode reminds you that you don't have to navigate the path alone.

Montessori education is woven into the fabric of Dutch life, but it’s more than just wooden toys and minimalist aesthetics. In this top-10 replay for Montessori Education Week, Eva sits down with Simone Davies, world-renowned author of The Montessori Toddler and founder of Amsterdam’s Jacaranda Tree Montessori. We take a warm, honest, and direct look at how to bring these principles into your home without feeling overwhelmed.Simone explains how to shift your child from dependence to collaboration and eventually independence. We explore the power of observation in transforming "behavior problems" into moments of deep connection and how to foster intrinsic motivation without using pressure or control. Whether you are navigating the Dutch basisschool system or simply want a home where your child feels truly welcome and capable, this conversation offers the grounded, research-backed tools you need to support your child’s development in the Netherlands.

It starts with a simple request from a child to "put the phone away" and grows into a national conversation. In this episode of Dam Parenting, we explore the grassroots movement Smartphonevrij Opgroeien (Growing Up Smartphone-Free) and what it means for international families in the Netherlands. We take a warm, honest, and direct look at the research linking early smartphone use to anxiety and sleep disruption, and why experts are now recommending a "wait until 15" approach for social media.We break down how the movement works locally, from checking your school’s participation stats to joining English-speaking WhatsApp groups for peer support. This episode offers practical advice on how to delay device access without socially isolating your child. Whether you have a toddler or a pre-teen, this is an essential guide to prioritizing "pro-childhood" values over digital pressure. It’s time to move past the screen and back to the connection.Links to support you:Want to join the Whatsapp group in your area? ⁠CLICK HERE⁠Want to join the Whatsapp group for English speakers: ⁠CLICK HERE⁠ - (in select jouw regio - scroll to bottom for ENGLISH)If you want to check out your own school (or chosen school) ⁠CLICK HERE⁠ on your regionClick on the image of a school - Bekijk hoeveel ouders....From there it will show you the number of students and schools, with the list of cities underneath.Click into the city and you will get a breakdown of each school registered and keep clicking.. It gets more and more interesting! You will see how many kids in your school, and even by which groep they are in.If you want the read the materials related to the ⁠UK website CLICK HERE

There's a specific kind of grief that nobody warns you about.Your child is thriving in Dutch. Their friendships are in Dutch. Their jokes are in Dutch. Their inner world is becoming Dutch. And somewhere in there, you are starting to feel like a stranger to the child you are raising.This episode is about that feeling.I sit down with Mimi Potvin from Growing Up Multilingual to talk honestly about what happens when the societal language — Dutch — starts to overtake the language of your relationship with your child. Not the grammar. Not the vocabulary tests. The intimacy. The closeness. The part of parenting that lives in words only you two share.We talk about:The 8–9 year home language dip and why it hits so many international families in the NetherlandsWhat "relational access" means and why losing it is about more than languageWhy the transition to primary school shifts everything — and how to prepare for itPractical strategies to hold onto your home language without making it a battlegroundWhat to do when your child consistently answers you in DutchIf you have ever felt a pang of sadness when your child replied to you in a language that wasn't yours, this one is for you.