Love Thy Neighbor Show

Love Thy Neighbor — Episode Notes - LTN 46 - Pity Sex Hosts: Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, Colette Fehr | Guest: None Sponsors / Ad Reads No dedicated sponsor/ad-read segment in this transcript. A supplement brand targeting low testosterone/low libido is referenced in passing during the discussion (not a formal read). Segment Rundown Cold open: double hello — Tom opens with an intentional double "hello," and the hosts riff on bookending the greeting. Middle age banter — Colette and Dan joke about being in their 50s (Colette close to 53) while Tom is younger; references the "back nine" phrase from a Peloton instructor to describe midlife. Wives running hot — A bit built on the double meaning of women "being hot," landing on hormonal overheating/hot flashes rather than looking attractive. Setting up the libido topic — Dan raises that hormonal changes often come with lower libido, and partly blames husbands for not being compassionate enough to help the situation, while admitting he doesn't always act on it either. "Taking one for the team" — Discussion, sparked by an anonymous listener email, of women having sex out of obligation rather than desire, and whether that leaves either partner satisfied. Male vs. female arousal — Colette explains men are generally ready for sex on short notice while women typically need an emotional or physical "warm-up," compounded by hormones, exhaustion, and modern overload. The "poke/jab" bit — A running comedic riff on how men signal interest, including a story about hiding/sneaking around the bedroom to avoid rejection. Conversation as an aphrodisiac — Colette says being present and curious with a partner is a turn-on; the hosts joke about zoning out during a recent date-night conversation. Normalizing the "sex talk" — Colette explains that bringing up a stalled sex life is scarier in anticipation than reality, and encourages couples to name it directly. Evolutionary tangent — A riff on ancient humans, sex tied to survival and risk (including pregnancy danger), versus modern comfort and much longer relationship lifespans. Dan's own experience — Dan shares that he and Andrea have talked openly about libido, including her hormone replacement therapy, and how communication ("putting in a trouble ticket," as a running show joke) improved things. Sex as emotional connection for men — Colette notes men are often misunderstood as wanting sex "just physically," when it's frequently their main channel for emotional closeness. Testosterone/libido supplement bit — Tom jokes about a sponsor-style ad claiming a supplement would make his wife want him more, doubting that premise. "Libido" running joke — Tom describes long having thought "libido" was just another word for an erection, including a bit about (jokingly) explaining it that way to his young daughter. Interest fading both ways — The group notes wives can also feel their husbands lose interest as they age, tying it to testosterone decline and effort put into making a partner feel wanted. Twitch chat question — A viewer named Jen asks whether a lot of men dislike their partners; the hosts broaden it to say resentment runs both directions, and cite that a majority of divorces are initiated by women, framing many marriages as being "ridden out." Mall people-watching tangent — A comedic aside about judging couples' relationships by watching them at the mall, with an acknowledgment that it's not a fair sample. Practical advice segment — Colette stresses asking a partner directly what would help, rather than assuming their lack of interest is personal rejection. Money and sex as taboo topics — A chat comment (from Dan's wife) that money and sex are the two hardest subjects for couples to discuss; hosts agree and joke about preferring to talk about vacations instead. Relationship maintenance — Dan reflects on once believing love just "happens" without effort, likening relationship upkeep to car maintenance; Colette introduces Dr. John Gottman's "state of the union" weekly check-in concept. Vitality and libido — Colette explains that feeling generally alive and fulfilled (hobbies, friendships, purpose) fuels sexual desire even when hormones are working against it, and validates couples who mutually choose to step back from sex. Email: "Hard to Finish" — An anonymous listener on Zoloft describes delayed sexual response as a side effect and worries about his wife feeling inadequate; hosts advise direct communication. Dan discloses he's on Lexapro with a similar side effect and how being upfront with Andrea about it removed the guesswork for her. Vulnerability and masculinity — Discussion of men's fear that opening up will make them look weak, with Colette arguing the opposite is true — vulnerability builds closeness rather than undermining it. Email: partner "pushes buttons" — An anonymous listener describes his wife escalating arguments until he loses his temper, then being blamed for the reaction; Colette advises taking responsibility for one's own reactions, communicating a boundary in advance, and removing oneself from a conversation before it spirals rather than assigning blame. Live call: Concrete Mike — Recurring caller Concrete Mike asks for advice on his wife's low libido during menopause; after some ribbing, Colette gives serious guidance on leading with compassion, asking his wife what kind of closeness she's open to, and considering professional help if needed. Outro/plugs — Wrap-up encouraging listeners to email or call in, with the show's regular schedule and Colette's book/podcast mentioned again. Key Dates / Plugs Mentioned Ongoing: Email the show anonymously at [email protected]. Weekly: Show airs live Thursdays around 10am (schedule can vary). Ongoing: Colette's book, The Cost of Quiet, available wherever books are sold. Ongoing: Colette's other podcast, Insights from the Couch, available wherever podcasts are found. Ongoing: Listeners can also call in or leave a voicemail for the show. Notable Guests/Callers Colette Fehr — Co-host; licensed therapist perspective throughout the episode. Concrete Mike — Recurring phone-in caller; asked for advice about his wife's low libido during menopause. Jen — Twitch chat commenter whose question ("a lot of men don't like their partners") was read and discussed on air.

  Love Thy Neighbor — Episode Notes Episode: "Take Me Line Dancing" Hosts: Tom Vann, Colette Fehr, Dan Dennis | Guest: None Sponsors / Ad Reads No sponsor segments or ad reads appear in this episode. Segment Rundown Cold open: 80s cover band night — The hosts open by discussing a Molly Ringwald's-themed 80s tribute show one of them attended, riffing on how great cover bands can be at delivering pure nostalgia. A shoutout goes to a local DeLand cover band called The A-Team, friends of one of the hosts who mostly play high school reunion parties. The non-dancing spouse — The hosts dig into the dynamic of one spouse being an enthusiastic singer/dancer while the other stands stone-still at concerts. They joke about husbands who show zero reaction, the frustration of feeling like your energy gets "sucked out," and the impossibility of forcing a partner to perform enthusiasm they don't feel. Lionel Richie / Earth, Wind & Fire concert recap — A host recounts going to a last-minute Lionel Richie show in Orlando with Earth, Wind & Fire opening, including praise for how enduring EWF's catalog is. They note the band's drummer is currently in intensive care and had to cancel a planned interview. The host admits being annoyed at the show because her husband, drained from a same-day flight back from Iceland, wasn't showing any enthusiasm; he apologized the next day. The line-dancing "map" — The conversation turns to a real situation: one host's wife left him a treasure-hunt-style map leading to a barn, asking him to take her line dancing. He's reluctant, citing fear of embarrassment, being a bad dancer, and especially the risk of being filmed and mocked on social media. He compares the ask to his wife asking him to go skydiving — something outside his comfort zone. Ordering for your spouse / gentlemanly gestures — A tangent breaks out about husbands ordering food for their wives at restaurants and pumping their gas, debating where thoughtful gentlemanly behavior ends and controlling behavior begins. Bids for connection — the therapy take — Returning to the line-dancing dilemma, the group discusses the idea of a "bid for connection": a partner's request doesn't have to be about the literal activity, and dismissing it outright can reinforce a partner's fear that they're never prioritized. The advice is to have an honest conversation about the discomfort rather than either refusing outright or faking enthusiasm. Standing like a statue in public — More examples of unengaged spouses at social events — looking like "security guards" at a book launch, standing silently at a graduation party — and discussion of how that body language can embarrass or hurt a partner even if unintentional, balanced against the point that people shouldn't have to fake their personality. Colette's viral "Sweet Child O' Mine" moment — Colette Fehr describes posting a video of herself screaming along to "Sweet Child O' Mine" at the 80s show to her Instagram story. Her adult daughters messaged saying it sounded bad and was unprofessional for her public/therapist brand; a former high-school acquaintance also sent a snarky comment. She took the video down but later second-guessed that decision, especially after her husband said the reaction seemed like an overreaction and he liked the authenticity. Social media out of context — The hosts discuss how a moment that's totally normal live (singing/dancing at a concert) reads as strange or cringey when reduced to an out-of-context clip for people scrolling at home — "had to be there" — and how authenticity gets punished online in a way it wouldn't in person. Curated photos vs. real moments — Related tangent on how posed vacation photos (endless retakes for the "perfect" shot) are arguably less real than a single unedited, in-the-moment clip, and how younger generations may read spontaneous/unpolished content differently than older ones. Vulnerability as connection — The hosts tie the social-media embarrassment back to the show's broader relationship theme: being less guarded and more authentic — admitting insecurity, trying something uncomfortable for a partner (like line dancing) — is what actually builds connection. Should a therapist look "put together"? — Debate over whether a relationship therapist sharing goofy, imperfect content undermines professional credibility, using analogies to wanting your surgeon or pilot to appear buttoned-up versus wanting a therapist to seem human and relatable. Does a therapist need a great relationship to give advice? — Colette Fehr discusses whether being single or divorced affects credibility as a couples therapist. She argues clinical skill and evidence-based methods matter more than personal relationship status, though she feels her own experience with marriage, divorce, and remarriage helps her relate to clients. She references a recent Substack post she wrote about the importance of "play" and silliness in relationships. AI and losing authenticity in communication — A short segment on how running emails through AI tools to "perfect" them strips out personal voice and humanity, paralleling the episode's theme of authenticity versus polish. Listener email: the six-foot snake — An anonymous listener writes in that her husband's coworker relocated to Texas and left behind a ball python, which now lives in a tank in what she wanted to be a home office. Her husband refuses to get rid of it and deflects when asked. The hosts frame this as not really being about the snake but about her feeling excluded from household decisions, and give advice on addressing communication patterns and resentment when one partner repeatedly feels unheard, tying it back to the "bids for connection" theme from earlier and plugging Colette's book, "The Cost of Quiet." Bookstore tangent / AI paranoia — A closing aside about a crowded Barnes & Noble reopening, hope for an "analog backlash" against tech, and a joking bit about AI reading and shredding physical books as evidence of a coming robot takeover. Wrap-up — The hosts close by half-committing to a group outing combining line dancing and karaoke, one host jokes about working on being less passive-aggressive with his wife, and they sign off with the listener email address. Key Dates / Plugs Mentioned Ongoing: Colette Fehr's book, The Cost of Quiet, is available wherever books are sold. Ongoing: Listener questions/emails can be sent to [email protected]. Notable Guests/Callers Anonymous listener (email) — Submitted the "snake" household-conflict question discussed in the listener-email segment.

Love Thy Neighbor — Episode Notes Episode: "Mama Coco's Milk Vortex" Hosts: Tom Vann, Colette Fehr, Dan Dennis | Guest: None Sponsors / Ad Reads No sponsor or ad-read segments appear in this transcript. Segment Rundown Cold open: age is just a number — Banter kicking off the show about embracing/celebrating age, and the Southern-raised taboo against ever asking a woman's (or grandma's) age. Aging double standard — Men vs. women on how aging is perceived: "silver fox" jokes, wanting a host's wife to grow out sideburns, riffing on cosmetic work and turning into a "lion man." Colette on confronting her own age — Her childhood nickname "Coco"/"Mama Coco"; a moment where her daughter's friend reacted with shock to old photos of her, leading to reflection on vanity and reframing this life stage as empowering rather than a decline. Public scrutiny of women's looks — How actresses and especially female news anchors face harsher criticism than men; a detour praising a former colleague of a host's wife ("Amy Koffel") for her natural beauty and kindness. Lindsay Clancy trial — The Massachusetts case of a mother on trial for killing her children; hosts say it's too disturbing to fully engage with and speculate it reflects severe untreated mental illness (possible postpartum psychosis) rather than a comprehensible motive. Postpartum depression/anxiety discussion — Colette's own postpartum anxiety after her first daughter 25 years ago (largely unacknowledged at the time); a host's wife's postpartum depression after their first child; group discussion of the lack of structured protocols/support for new mothers and the loss of "village" community. Peer-support comparison — Likening the need for new-mom peer support to AA-style group models; the value of connecting with others going through the same experience. "Booby buffet" breastfeeding story — Colette's anxiety-driven story about breastfeeding her daughter Charlotte for only 5 minutes per side, and the Orlando hospital program that weighed the baby before/after feeding to prove she was getting plenty — the origin of the "Milk Vortex" nickname/episode title. Breastfeeding vs. formula pressure — Judgment from lactation advocates (La Leche League) and Colette's choice to combine breastfeeding and formula with her second daughter without shame. Childbirth war stories — Hosts recount witnessing childbirth firsthand, how much more intense/graphic it is than movies portray, with tangents into C-sections, doulas, perineum massage, and placenta capsules. Historical maternal mortality tangent — Comparing childbirth risk historically vs. today, with a pop-culture aside comparing it to Game of Thrones/House of the Dragon birth scenes. Hayden Panettiere memoir — Hope that high-profile cases spark better postpartum care, plus discussion of Panettiere's memoir covering postpartum depression, domestic violence, addiction, and giving up custody of her children. Arnold Schwarzenegger "Broomhilda" debate — Hypothetical/listener-style debate sparked by Schwarzenegger's affair with his housekeeper: is it worse to be cheated on with someone less attractive than yourself, tying in the song "Jolene." Colette on the psychology of affairs — Drawing on her therapy practice with infidelity/betrayal trauma clients, she explains affairs are rarely about looks and usually about proximity/emotional needs, with a personal anecdote about dismissing a coworker as a non-threat to her marriage. Hypothetical infidelity scenarios — Riffing on young men attracted to older women, a personal anecdote about an attractive older nanny, nostalgia for "barely legal"-era pop culture, and debate over which infidelity scenario (same-sex affair, more successful rival, etc.) would hurt each host's ego most. Wrap-up — Closing thoughts on the double standard for men vs. women in scandal, a "Rock"/Moana wig tangent, and sign-off with a call for listener relationship questions and plugs. Key Dates / Plugs Mentioned Ongoing: Lindsay Clancy trial, Massachusetts. Recently released: Hayden Panettiere's memoir. Standing: Submit relationship questions to [email protected] (anonymity offered). Plug: Colette Fehr's book, "The Cost of Quiet." Plug: Colette Fehr's other podcast, "Insights from the Couch." Notable Guests/Callers No in-studio guest or phone-in caller this episode. Ryan — listener who proposed "Mama Coco's Milk Vortex" as the episode title via the live chat room. ### Website: https://tomanddan.com/ App: https://tomanddan.com/app Become a BDM: https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch: https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TomandDanLive Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/tomanddanlive Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AMediocreTime Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tomanddanlive/ X: https://x.com/TomAndDanLive TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@tomanddanlive Reddit: https://reddit.com/r/tomanddan ACT RSS: https://feeds.libsyn.com/61976/rss AMT RSS: https://feeds.libsyn.com/18904/rss

Love Thy Neighbor returns for back-to-school season Late-night fishing with Tommy leads to no shave and unfinished dishes Close friends use deep trust to safely needle each other Tom and Dan function like a non-sexual married couple Imagining Tom and Dan's productivity as a gay couple Teen hormones and developing brains limit emotional control and decision-making Peer pressure and social media make modern adolescence uniquely difficult Smartphones erase privacy, extend school drama, and create constant judgment Online highlight reels fuel nonstop comparison and unrealistic standards Less face-to-face interaction limits real-world social development Humans were not built to compare themselves with the entire world Rejection triggers an ancient fear of exclusion from the group Intelligence cannot erase the pain of judgment or vulnerability Emotional sensitivity and detachment are opposite unhealthy extremes Accepting emotions reduces shame, withdrawal, and negative self-talk Local rivals can trigger more jealousy than distant success Imagining a younger therapist named Paulette replacing Colette Colette unsuccessfully pitched her relationship book to Oprah's podcast An AI-sounding rival book succeeding would make rejection sting more Jealousy, anger, hurt, and disappointment are normal human emotions Feelings are valid, but cruelty and hostile reactions are not Another person's success does not prove personal inadequacy Self-compassion should come before gratitude and redirection Tamron Hall proves one missed opportunity does not erase past success Comfort yourself like a loving parent or best friend Paulette takes over Love Thy Neighbor with "Who Needs Namers" Dreaming of tutoring kids despite terrible math and weak math SAT scores Social media comparison hits emotionally immature teens especially hard Worrying about Maisie's innocence as harsher realities approach Modern kids are overexposed online but sheltered from real life A 13-year-old dating a 22-year-old counselor reflects once-normalized predatory behavior Earlier generations raised themselves, gaining independence through real risks Smoking at 13 and other youthful risks could be traumatic or dangerous Modern teens get fewer chances to fail, adapt, and build resilience Peer conflict, rejection, and disappointment teach essential life skills Wondering if delayed independence is healthier or creates fragile adults Ancient children faced danger and contributed to survival at young ages Tommy fishes unsupervised while phone tracking balances freedom and safety Parents fear alligators, traffic, predators, and kidnappers Women constantly scan for danger while men often overlook that burden Arriving alone early or jogging with loud music raises safety concerns Men may imagine attacks as exciting stories instead of constant threats Absurd fantasies about fighting an attacker and cleaning up afterward Missing physical challenges and adrenaline, with skydiving as a safer thrill A father avoids emotional and sexual conversations with his sons Silent fishing trips lead to an awkward masturbation talk assignment Sneaking condoms into a backpack instead of discussing sex An eight-year-old gets a horrifyingly clinical explanation of reproduction Accidentally witnessing parents having sex creates an "unfortunate experience" Parents struggle because they received little sex education themselves Both parents should give sons shame-free guidance about sex and masturbation Religious shame and porn fears can distort normal adolescent sexuality Mentoring boys shapes how they become men and treat women Children learn relationships by watching affection and conflict at home Genetics and poor role models do not excuse avoiding personal growth Losing a father young and having an emotionally reserved stepfather Family patterns can normalize low affection, unhealthy conflict, and estrangement Intentional work and honest talks can break unhealthy family cycles Children of divorced parents are more likely to divorce Divorce may be necessary without being the ideal outcome Helping children choose healthy partners before divorce becomes necessary Distrusting divorce research because the researcher is named Wolfinger Stable marriages show children that couples can survive difficult periods Healthy disagreement allows commitment without identical beliefs Childhood divorce can make ordinary conflict feel catastrophic Therapy can reframe disagreement as healthy instead of threatening Parents will make mistakes, but honest dialogue matters more than perfection Approach struggling teens with curiosity instead of immediately fixing them Adapt difficult conversations to each child's personality Fathers discussing feelings show boys that men can be emotionally open Humor, everyday stories, and AI tips can help start awkward conversations Maisie's school attitude creates a natural parenting lesson Parents do not need to diagnose depression or anxiety themselves Watch for persistent personality changes lasting more than two weeks Warning signs include lost interests, unusual isolation, and academic decline Major unexplained changes warrant evaluation by a qualified professional The Cost of Quiet by Colette Jane Fehr Insights from the Couch podcast Questions at [email protected] ### Website: https://tomanddan.com/ App: https://tomanddan.com/app Become a BDM: https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch: https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TomandDanLive Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/tomanddanlive Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AMediocreTime Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tomanddanlive/ X: https://x.com/TomAndDanLive TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@tomanddanlive Reddit: https://reddit.com/r/tomanddan ACT RSS: https://feeds.libsyn.com/61976/rss AMT RSS: https://feeds.libsyn.com/18904/rss

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Love Thy Neighbor relationship show and listener updates Colette prepares for Italy with language lessons Why Italy's culture, food and slower pace are so appealing Venice travel stories and European dress expectations Rushing vacations vs staying longer in one destination Dressing respectfully in public and while flying Airline buddy pass dress codes and travel etiquette Budgeting for travel and appreciating vacations more Three-year journey of writing and publishing a psychology book Book launch stress overshadowing a Hawaii vacation Planning a relaxing Iceland trip with ChatGPT Iceland's waterfalls, volcanoes, glaciers and black sand beaches Outdoor adventure vacations vs city vacations Couples balancing different travel styles and interests How many hobbies couples really need to share Glacier snorkeling between tectonic plates explained Snorkeling vs scuba diving and certification requirements Fear of scuba, deep water and underwater environments Anxiety, wetsuits, safety briefings and group excursions Previous snorkeling panic in Hawaii Choosing to stay on the boat instead of snorkeling Supporting a spouse without forcing shared adventures Respecting personal limits instead of pushing through fear Why empathy matters when a partner has anxiety Relationship lessons from a kayaking panic attack Letting partners enjoy separate vacation activities Expensive excursions that disappoint $800 snowmobile trip gone wrong with young kids Preferring scenic stops and simple experiences over pricey tours Puffin tour chosen over whale watching Seasickness and rough ocean concerns Visiting waterfalls and geothermal lagoons instead Choosing shorter excursions over all-day tours Yellowstone bison accident discussion Victim blaming and the psychology behind it Agoraphobia, staying home and online isolation Healthy stress vs overwhelming yourself Turning down risky adventures without guilt Honest self-talk and accepting personal limits Vacation recap planned after Iceland Two-week Love Thy Neighbor summer break Nearly one year of producing the podcast Small relationship improvements through consistent micro-steps Anonymous relationship questions by email Book recommendations: The Cost of Quiet and Insights from the Couch ### Website: https://tomanddan.com/ Become a BDM: https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch: https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/ Watch Live: YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TomandDanLive Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/tomanddanlive Follow Us: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AMediocreTime Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tomanddanlive/ X: https://x.com/TomAndDanLive RSS Feeds: ACT: https://feeds.libsyn.com/61976/rss AMT: https://feeds.libsyn.com/18904/rss

Off-air teaser and bonus live content for Twitch and YouTube viewers Why people struggle to say no Fear of disappointing others and people-pleasing Healthy compromise vs chronic people-pleasing Ignoring your own needs creates hidden resentment "Victim volcano" analogy for bottled-up emotions Small triggers can unleash years of buried frustration Emotional suppression can affect mental and physical health Setting boundaries and saying no as self-care Healthy communication vs avoiding conflict Fear of criticism keeps people from speaking honestly Practicing "no" without overexplaining Most people handle rejection better than expected Losing touch with your own wants and preferences Why some people freeze when asked to choose Expressing preferences strengthens relationships Constantly saying "I don't care" can create emotional distance Taking turns making decisions in healthy relationships Flexibility vs suppressing your opinions Learning to tolerate small relationship conflicts Food debates over quinoa, couscous, grits, rice, and comfort foods Buffet choices and decision paralysis Pretending to have opinions to satisfy a partner Transition into communication about sex and intimacy Different sex drives in long-term relationships Honest conversations about intimacy during menstruation Direct communication works better than hints Humor around awkward conversations about sex Romance, effort, and feeling intimacy must be earned Planning intimacy vs expecting spontaneity Scheduling sex as a healthy relationship tool The "bristle effect" and separating affection from sexual pressure Asking partners how they feel about the relationship's sex life Handling rejection with humor instead of guilt Normalizing conversations about desire and mismatched libidos Porn's influence on unrealistic sexual expectations Desensitization from heavy pornography use Keeping intimacy simple if it works for both partners Respecting a partner's comfort level while exploring together Discussing fantasies without shame "Yums and yucks" exercise for sharing turn-ons and boundaries Finding overlap between each partner's interests Fear and embarrassment block honest conversations Communication and compromise beat avoidance and resentment Ignoring intimacy problems can damage relationships Start with small, low-pressure conversations Know and express your own preferences Promotion for Colette's "Insights From the Couch" podcast Episode wrap-up and invitation to return for the next episode of Love Thy Neighbor ### Stay Connected with Tom & Dan! Website: https://tomanddan.com BDM Signup: https://tomanddan.com/register Merch: https://tomanddan.com/shop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tomanddanlive Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/tomanddanlive Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tomanddanshow Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tomanddanshow X: https://x.com/tomanddanshow TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tomanddanshow Podcast RSS: https://feeds.megaphone.fm/tomanddan Discord: https://tomanddan.com/discord Email: [email protected] Call the Show: 1-844-TOM-DAN (1-844-866-3262)

Love Thy Neighbor relationship show introduction Jokes about lending friends money and buying a boat USA soccer win, FIFA officiating, and Bosnia confusion Friendships, family, and business relationships Handling money requests from friends and family Financial help can create guilt, pressure, and resentment Difference between true hardship and entitlement Listener requested money for a house down payment Wealthy people face constant expectations to help Mr. Wonderful's "give once, never again" advice Debate over whether that advice fits average people People-pleasing and avoiding uncomfortable conversations Family support after divorce Consider need, ability, and relationship before lending Only lend money without resentment or expectations Clearly define repayment terms for loans Repeated bailouts can become enabling Business favors and personal favors Benjamin Franklin effect explained Benjamin Franklin improved a rivalry by borrowing a book Cognitive dissonance behind the Benjamin Franklin effect Small favors can strengthen relationships Mr. Fascinating vs. Mr. Wonderful jokes Criticism of Mr. Wonderful's personality Relationship habits vs. manipulation Intentional compliments strengthen relationships Compliments should never have hidden motives Genuine praise helps people feel valued Regular compliments build confidence and positivity Positive reinforcement strengthens social circles Dr. John Gottman's positive interaction research Insincere or exaggerated praise backfires Authentic compliments should be specific Small compliments can brighten a stranger's day Say positive thoughts out loud Sales rapport vs. genuine connection Goodwill and persuasion can overlap Some people love deeply but struggle to express it Intentional habits improve relationships Different love and communication styles Acts of service can express love Expressive vs. stoic partners Deliberate routines help less expressive people Genie lamp debate $5 million challenge to befriend a stranger Common interests are not required for friendship Could you become friends with Kanye West? Healthy boundaries in unusual friendships Liver King, steroids, and Joe Rogan feud Severe mental illness or violence can limit relationships Therapy builds connection across differences Strong relationships do not require agreement Learn someone's story before judging them Diverse relationships promote personal growth Motivation matters more than similarity Eye contact strengthens emotional connection 36 questions associated with falling in love Prolonged eye contact and attraction studies Biology influences human connection Many people avoid vulnerable eye contact Co-regulation calms the nervous system Connection techniques can be used ethically or manipulatively Long-term couples develop nearly wordless communication Great partners function as dependable teammates Loneliness among older men Men often seek relationships quickly after divorce Grandfather's WWII and orphanage stories Childhood trauma shaped emotional expression Listening can be deeply therapeutic Respect vulnerable conversations without recording them Being heard without judgment helps healing Older generations often suppressed emotion Stoic people may crave connection Relationship skills can be learned Modern loneliness epidemic People can feel lonely even in crowds Ask thoughtful open-ended questions Invite meaningful stories instead of facts Ask what someone loves about their work Genuine curiosity strengthens relationships Human connection is a psychological need Strong relationships protect mental health Chronic loneliness is linked to serious health risks People need meaningful connections beyond small talk Humans are wired for belonging Much behavior is subconscious Therapy reveals unconscious patterns Habits reduce mental effort Decision fatigue affects behavior Wearing a daily uniform reduces decisions Lasting change requires repetition and reminders Practice daily compliments and kindness Small acts improve both people's moods Socializing often feels better once it starts Ask for a small favor to build rapport Borrowing a book as a Benjamin Franklin effect example Preview of an episode about saying no Healthy boundaries and saying no "No" can be a complete sentence Promotion of Colette's book, The Cost of Quiet Mention of Colette's Insights from the Couch podcast Closing joke about fewer genie discussions ### Website: https://tomanddan.com/ BDM: https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch: https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/ Watch Live: YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TomandDanLive Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/tomanddanlive Follow Us: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AMediocreTime Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tomanddanlive/ X: https://x.com/TomandDanLive RSS Feeds: ACT: https://feeds.libsyn.com/61976/rss AMT: https://feeds.libsyn.com/18904/rss BDM: https://feeds.libsyn.com/37121/rss

Divorce rates are falling while marriage rates also decline. Younger adults marry and divorce less often. Gray divorce is rising among older couples. High living costs keep some unhappy couples together. More couples choose lifelong partnerships without legal marriage. Some couples hold weddings without filing marriage paperwork. Legal marriage offers emotional value but financial risk. Silent marriages often continue for children or money. Empty nesters often reassess unhappy marriages. Midlife creates urgency to improve relationships. Life after 50 compared to the "back nine" in golf. Fix your marriage before chasing a fantasy relationship. Personal accountability matters more than finding a new partner. Some marriages cannot be repaired despite real effort. Emotional abuse and neglect can make divorce necessary. Relationship maintenance is easier than crisis repair. Avoiding hard conversations weakens marriages. Personal growth carries into future relationships. Starting over often feels easier than it is. Second and third marriages have higher divorce rates. Divorce can normalize future breakups. Children often model their parents' relationships. Many long marriages become happier after difficult years. Men often remarry faster after divorce. Married men often live longer and healthier lives. Funny discussion about anal fissures and embarrassing doctor visits. Women initiate most divorces. Celebrity divorces often become business negotiations. Divorce is one of the fastest ways to lose wealth. Loneliness and feeling unheard drive many divorces. Jelly Roll and Bunnie XO relationship discussion. Bunnie XO's IVF struggles. Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce prenup rumors. Wealth changes how couples approach marriage. Prenups protect finances without reducing commitment. Movie discussion about marriage, betrayal, and divorce. Story of a husband leaving his wife during COVID. Infidelity can leave spouses emotionally and financially vulnerable. Couples should openly discuss financial protection. First and second marriages handle finances differently. Shared assets feel different when couples grow together. Humor about losing a home after divorce. Accepting loss helps emotional healing. Later-life marriages often protect premarital assets. Inheritances are a common reason for prenups. Patrick Mahomes and Brittany Mahomes built wealth together. Athlete endorsements create massive wealth. Celebrity prenup speculation and personality jokes. Kermit the Frog bedroom voice humor. Most divorces begin with emotional pain, not money. Financial fear often prevents divorce. Stay-at-home spouses may fear financial independence. Personal story of leaving a marriage without seeking support. Career growth can restore confidence after divorce. Financial hardship changes views on prenups. Women should understand household finances. Some marriages still have one partner controlling money. Some men struggle when wives out-earn them. Healthy couples celebrate each other's success. More wives are primary breadwinners. Women are becoming more educated and earning more. Equality benefits both partners. Raise boys to respect strong, successful women. Men often struggle with emotional communication. Emojis can soften text conversations. Genuine affection matters more than emojis. Physical affection and verbal affirmation build stronger relationships. Small daily efforts strengthen marriages. Humor about inappropriate emoji combinations. Promotion for The Cost of Quiet. Promotion for Insights from the Couch. Promotion for Colette's FOX 35 Orlando appearances. Appreciation for the show's chemistry and conversations. ### Social Media https://tomanddan.com https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive https://facebook.com/amediocretime https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s Exclusive Content https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/

Father's Day gift preferences vs traditional gifts Men and women valuing appreciation differently Joke about sexual favors as Father's Day gifts Father's Day overlapping with Men's Mental Health Month Growing up where men never discussed mental health Stigma around men prioritizing mental and physical health Mental health historically viewed as weakness in men Fitness culture acceptance vs mental health resistance Importance of raising awareness for men's mental health Depression and anxiety affecting many men Less than half of men seeking mental health treatment Men accounting for roughly 80% of suicides Highest suicide rates among men over 75 Suicide as a leading cause of death in young men Encouragement to talk with friends, family, or therapists Using humor to avoid difficult mental health conversations Misunderstanding suicidal ideation without lived experience Avoiding judgment of people with depression Fear that vulnerability makes men appear weak Men suppressing pain and handling problems alone Depression often appearing as anger and irritability Chronic anger as a sign of underlying depression Recognizing mental health warning signs in men Checking in on struggling friends and family Older generations taught to suppress emotions Similar depression and anger patterns across generations Accepting personal mental health tendencies Different emotional baselines and brain chemistry Therapy improving emotional awareness Mental health maintenance like physical health maintenance Social media and news contributing to anxiety Dopamine-driven habits that worsen mental health Depression making daily tasks feel overwhelming Men often benefiting after reluctantly trying therapy Need for cultural change around emotional openness Men bonding through activities more than conversations Women more likely to discuss struggles with friends Encouraging men to share vulnerabilities with other men Stoicism vs unhealthy emotional suppression Trauma, personality, and brain wiring debates Concerns about amateur psychoanalysis on social media People being experts on their own experiences Traditional Florida masculinity discouraging vulnerability Feeling different from family due to anxiety Mental health conditions affecting everyone differently Treating mental health instead of comparing experiences Early intervention preventing severe outcomes Greatest Generation culture of emotional stoicism Some people naturally having healthier emotional baselines Therapy helping those with depression and anxiety Friends providing emotional support like preventive care Mental health treatment compared to managing cholesterol Medication stigma and resistance Medication helping during a difficult divorce Loneliness contributing to older male suicide rates Retirement causing loss of purpose and identity Importance of relationships and meaning later in life Summer vacations creating unexpected stress Family vacation frustrations reflected in movie tropes Small changes making vacations more enjoyable Dominator partner planning every vacation detail One partner handling all logistics and itineraries Planner resentment when responsibilities pile up Whether non-planners should contribute more Discussing vacation roles before traveling Feeling ignored when suggestions are repeatedly dismissed Rejected partners eventually disengaging Vacations with kids feeling like work Returning from vacations more exhausted than rested Resentment from carrying unspoken responsibilities Rejecting help while feeling overwhelmed Asking directly for help instead of expecting mind reading Communication solving many vacation conflicts Pressure to be a super parent who does everything Teamwork becoming more important in marriages Expressing feelings of being unsupported Emotional withdrawal after repeated criticism Road trips with kids glued to devices Technology easing travel but increasing screen dependence Couples struggling to find new conversation topics Long-term relationships running out of fresh discussions Conversations becoming limited to kids and work Escaping into earbuds and distractions during drives Discussing future goals and dreams together Planning adventures creating excitement and connection Debating future vacations during current vacations Anticipation as one of the best parts of travel Healthy couples discussing hopes and aspirations Bringing new ideas and experiences into relationships Avoiding conversational ruts in long-term partnerships Maintaining individual interests and personal space Solo time for reading, audiobooks, and recharging Independence strengthening family relationships Challenging each other with fresh perspectives Early risers vs late sleepers on vacation Different vacation styles causing tension Maximizing activities vs relaxing slowly Feeling vacation time is being wasted Quiet resentment from unmet expectations Discussing schedules before the next day Accepting different energy levels and personalities Compromise between planners and relaxed travelers Requesting specific early-start days Clearly expressing wants and needs Direct communication about boundaries and expectations Taking personal time without guilt Relationship conflicts caused by unspoken expectations Partners not being able to read minds Asking directly for desired experiences Accepting personality differences in relationships Attraction to partners with opposite traits Opposites creating balance and frustration Communication and acceptance as relationship keys Promotion of therapy, books, podcasts, and relationship resources ### Social Media https://tomanddan.com https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive https://facebook.com/amediocretime https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s Exclusive Content https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/

Therapy recommendation changed a listener's life eight years later Therapy vs using alcohol to cope with stress and emotions Returning to therapy after emotional strain affected a marriage Benefits of talking with someone outside the relationship Mental health stigma and growing up without therapy discussions Therapy compared to hiring a trainer for mental fitness Realization therapy helps more than just people in crisis Relationships and mental health are closely connected Why "we never fight" is not a relationship success metric Martin Short's marriage discussed as a relationship role model Using exceptional couples as inspiration for growth How to find a good therapist or couples therapist Examples of bad therapy, boundary issues, and unethical behavior Couples therapy during a marriage on the brink of divorce Importance of therapist training and specialization Why good couples therapists avoid taking sides Therapist fit, trust, and comfort for both partners More couples seeking therapy before major problems arise Therapy for communication, intimacy, and conflict skills Parenting, illness, and family stress impacting relationships Trauma, abandonment, addiction, and neglect affecting partnerships Why therapy should feel safe, supportive, and practical Couples therapy becoming more preventive than crisis-driven High cost of therapy and barriers to access Why couples therapy requires extensive training University clinics offering free or low-cost counseling Sliding-scale, pro bono, and community therapy resources Psychology Today directory for finding therapists Telehealth making therapy more accessible Expensive therapists are not always the best therapists Insurance limitations and mental health coverage problems UCF counseling clinics as a local low-cost option Does therapist age and life experience matter? Personal experience vs evidence-based treatment models Listener success story using the UCF clinic Why one therapy session rarely solves major issues Benefits of combining individual and couples therapy Healthy couples using short-term therapy tune-ups Long-term therapy for infidelity and deep disconnection Therapy compared to learning skills from a personal trainer Books, courses, and self-help options for couples Gottman Institute resources and relationship education When self-help works and when professional help is needed Using insurance directories to find covered therapists Looking for LMFT credentials in couples counseling Employee Assistance Programs offering free sessions Struggling to find available therapists during high demand 988 crisis line and mental health resources Interviewing therapists before committing Asking how much of a therapist's practice is couples work Why couples therapy is a specialized field Evidence-based models like Gottman, EFT, RLT, and Imago Humor as a powerful relationship-building tool Shared laughter strengthening marriages and families Stress and productivity reducing connection and creativity Making time for playfulness and fun during busy seasons Parenting, school schedules, and daily obligations causing strain John Gottman's relationship research and lab studies The Four Horsemen: criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling Predicting relationship outcomes from interaction patterns Negative sentiment override explained Relationship bank account analogy for emotional goodwill Assuming the worst when resentment builds Using laughter and connection to prevent relationship decline Addressing problems early before resentment grows Relationship maintenance compared to cleaning a house Regular repair conversations building resilience Shared laughter as a sign of safety and connection Being intentional and present with loved ones Family games and quality time as meaningful experiences Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith relationship discussion Chris Rock's response to the Oscars slap Entitlement, fame, and emotional regulation Physical aggression as unhealthy conflict resolution Coercive control, dominance, and abusive relationship dynamics Road rage and other examples of poor emotional regulation Listener questions, relationship resources, and future topics Comparing show personalities to Howard Stern show roles ### Social Media https://tomanddan.com https://x.com/tomanddanlive https://facebook.com/amediocretime https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s Exclusive Content https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/

Colette recovers from a successful book launch and discusses reader impact Jokes about writing books for money lead into relationship trends Gen Alpha AI romantic partner trend sparks concerns about future relationships Growing trend of couples maintaining independent lives within committed relationships Separate hobbies, friends, activities, and solo trips can strengthen partnerships Healthy interdependence balances autonomy and connection Security and personal space help maintain attraction and growth Relationship balance should not be treated as a fixed formula Colette describes a highly independent marriage built on trust Dan introduces being "Magoo'd" by his wife handling forgotten responsibilities Story about his wife preloading directions for a missed doctor appointment Discussion of the mental load often carried by women in relationships Planning, organizing, and household management can create resentment Shared responsibility requires allowing partners to make mistakes Micromanagement and perfectionism can undermine teamwork Relationship imbalances form when one partner routinely takes over tasks Dan intentionally resumes responsibilities like driving to restore balance Backseat driving anxiety affects who assumes control of certain duties Communication remains one of the most universal relationship tools Couples should build systems that fit their unique dynamic Maintaining interests outside the relationship supports mental health Work, parenting, and responsibilities often crowd out hobbies and friendships Adults still need creativity, fun, and play Learning guitar used as an example of pursuing long-delayed interests Personal hobbies framed as necessities rather than luxuries Self-care improves relationships, work performance, and well-being Discussion of people faking emergencies to avoid social obligations "Not feeling well" cited as the most common cancellation excuse Overscheduled lives leave many people emotionally exhausted Social battery depletion presented as a valid reason for downtime Reliable people often feel guilty canceling plans Importance of considering how much effort others made before canceling Chronic last-minute cancellations viewed as inconsiderate Honest communication is healthier than invented excuses Sometimes pushing through reluctance leads to positive experiences Distinguishing genuine exhaustion from simple resistance Fear of disappointing others drives many social excuses Themes from The Cost of Quiet encourage direct communication FOMO complicates decisions about staying home or attending events Smartphones and social media increase pressure to stay engaged Concern about a loneliness epidemic despite constant connectivity People can feel lonely even when surrounded by loved ones Examine whether social pressure comes from personal values or outside expectations Most people could benefit from more real-world social interaction Story about attending an Orlando Arsenal supporters event despite anxiety Partially familiar groups can feel more stressful than strangers Structured social settings often feel easier than open-ended gatherings Exposure to social discomfort can reduce anxiety over time Social anxiety is a major reason people avoid events Close friends require less social energy than acquaintances Anxiety around forgetting names and social details Public personalities face frequent awkward recognition encounters Tricks for remembering names in social situations Socializing becomes harder after emotionally demanding workdays Even extroverts must invest effort into social interaction Active listening requires significant mental energy Social anxiety and social effort are major barriers to connection Avoiding social situations can reinforce anxiety Humans are biologically wired for community and connection Modern life removes many natural opportunities for social engagement Socializing compared to exercise as something beneficial despite resistance Strong relationships linked to better health and longevity Digital communication cannot fully replace in-person interaction Younger generations may struggle with phone calls due to reduced practice Less social friction can weaken interpersonal confidence Concept of "mental nutrition" compares texting to junk food Face-to-face communication provides deeper emotional connection Couples therapy often uses eye contact and vulnerability exercises Difficult conversations frequently produce meaningful breakthroughs No universal rule exists for self-care versus pushing through discomfort Some people need more social engagement while others need more rest Self-awareness is key to identifying personal needs Excessive isolation and phone-centered living increase disconnection Families sitting together on phones can feel disconnected and depressing Phone use often becomes the default way to decompress Exercise improves mood, energy, and family interactions Board games create laughter, connection, and shared memories Real-world connection offers benefits technology cannot fully replicate Human connection compared to healthy food and exercise Families should intentionally create opportunities for engagement Promotion of The Cost of Quiet and its communication themes Mention of an upcoming Fox 35 Orlando appearance Humorous story about accidentally displaying a book upside down online Joke that the mistake looked like an intentional marketing strategy Closing reflections on communication, connection, and personal well-being ### Social Media https://tomanddan.com https://x.com/tomanddanlive https://facebook.com/amediocretime https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s Exclusive Content https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/

Love Thy Neighbor relationship show and anonymous listener emails Man reflects on life after raising kids and building a business with his wife Anxiety about retirement, aging, identity, and no longer being needed Fear of losing purpose after stepping away from career success Hustle culture masking insecurity and avoiding self-reflection Reinventing yourself after parenting and career transitions Empty nest couples relearning how to connect without kids around Parenting dominating marriages and creating emotional distance Importance of honest conversations during major life changes Why couples avoid vulnerability and emotional honesty Couples therapy helping partners say difficult things out loud Small honest talks vs giant emotional blowups Shared hobbies, travel, and rituals helping couples reconnect Emotional connection requires deeper conversations beyond date nights Couples discussing goals for the next chapter of life Debate about college degrees and whether college is overrated Running joke about a fake underground podcast called Hate Thy Neighbor Axe throwing mocked as a fake fun bar activity Jokes about dangerous axe throwing dates and relationship injuries Email about a husband treating strangers better than his wife Public disrespect toward spouses as a major relationship red flag Difference between normal marital annoyance and real contempt Marital contempt discussed as a predictor of divorce Discussion about intervening in toxic relationships Warning that criticizing relationships can damage friendships Gentle ways to express concern about a friend's relationship Jokes about chaotic rebound relationships after divorce Stories about reckless dating, drugs, and apartment life post-divorce Debate about abusive relationships vs unhealthy but consensual dynamics Therapists privately doubting whether some couples will survive Couples loving each other despite incompatible values and boundaries Friendship boundaries, exes, and opposite-sex friendships in relationships Andrea's attractive male friends and insecurity jokes Self-deprecating humor and comparing looks to Captain Caveman Beard compliments unexpectedly boosting confidence Difficulty accepting compliments due to low self-worth Therapy work focused on reducing self-hatred and negative self-talk Why many people reject compliments instead of accepting them Simply saying thank you as a self-esteem exercise Marathon training and repetition used as examples of personal growth Prison jokes and absurd comedy tangents about human adaptation Tracy texting about the Summer House reunion White Claw jokes and early morning drinking humor Difference between confidence and true self-esteem Self-esteem described as belief in your worth as a person Mirror affirmations and difficulty saying "I love you" to yourself Men and older generations resisting emotional self-help exercises Relationship with yourself described as the most important relationship Self-love framed as an inside job instead of outside validation Universal human insecurity discussed by therapists Negative self-talk as a survival mechanism from childhood Success happening despite self-hatred, not because of it Positive internal dialogue outperforming shame-based motivation Sports psychology supporting encouragement over self-destruction Interrupting negative self-talk and replacing it with compassion Slowpoke Rodriguez jokes and outdated cartoon stereotypes High achievers believing self-hatred drives success Brain wiring focusing heavily on mistakes and danger Harsh self-talk fueling anxiety, depression, and suffering Russell Wilson and Tom Brady examples of mental resilience Elite athletes focusing on adjustments instead of self-hatred Special forces mindset of radical self-forgiveness Reframing past mistakes with compassion toward your younger self Speaking to yourself like you would your child or best friend Story about a child struggling emotionally after a dance competition Encouragement after failure without pretending poor performance was great Nobody performs perfectly all the time, including professionals Long careers improving gradually through repetition and experience Positive affirmations retraining the brain through repetition Apps, tapes, and meditations built around affirmations and self-talk Therapy helping people become kinder to themselves Promotion of Colette Jane Fair's book The Cost of Quiet ### Social Media TomandDan.com X @tomanddanlive Facebook Instagram Where to Find the Show A Mediocre Time - Apple Podcasts A Mediocre Time - Google Podcasts Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 A Corporate Time - Apple Podcasts A Corporate Time - Google Podcasts Exclusive Content BDM Registration Merch Tom and Dan Merch Store

Debate over whether "high maintenance" means difficult or just outspoken Opposite personality traits attracting in relationships Emotional partners pairing with non-emotional partners Confident traits becoming annoying over time Restaurant table requests viewed differently by different personalities Difference between advocating for preferences and being demanding Nostalgia for the original smaller The Ravenous Pig location Aggressive table stalking at crowded restaurants and bars Fight with an older woman over a first-come-first-served table Husband hiding from confrontation during restaurant conflict Chest tapping joke about being "in the assault family" Restaurant manager siding with first-come-first-served rules Dinner atmosphere ruined after public confrontation Debate over preserving peace versus winning arguments Feeling unsupported by a partner during public conflicts Wanting a partner to visibly "have your back" Fear of public confrontations escalating dangerously Movie theater fights over confronting loud teenagers Stressful backseat driving dynamics in relationships Argument over passing a peloton of cyclists Debate over cyclists riding single file in traffic Pressure from spouses to drive more aggressively Failed attempt to pass cyclists before a stop sign Couples evolving into permanent driver/passenger roles "Passenger princess" relationships where one partner never drives Older men judging husbands driven by their wives Constant driving criticism making partners avoid driving Knowing you are a bad backseat driver but struggling to stop Household tension over chores and organization Doing chores poorly to avoid future chores Wanting help while criticizing how help is done Partners wanting control while demanding initiative Discussion of women handling most household labor Resentment over carrying the mental load at home Importance of letting partners contribute differently Anxiety driving controlling passenger behavior Constant criticism making partners shut down "Criticize and defend" relationship dynamics Partners feeling they "can't even breathe right" Need for feedback without micromanaging "Tit-for-tat" exhaustion competitions in relationships Competing over who works harder or feels more tired Insecurity over having a fun or unconventional job Realization both partners can be exhausted at once Small arguments revealing deeper emotional triggers Validation working better than comparison or competition "I'm sorry that's happening to you" as a powerful response One-upping struggles making partners feel invalidated Dismissive responses blaming doomscrolling or drinking People defaulting to problem-solving instead of empathy Emotional connection described as the core of relationships People often wanting to vent instead of getting advice Joke about a prerecorded validation soundboard Validation still helping even when it feels scripted Asking whether someone wants advice or just listening Relief from learning you do not always need to fix problems Pretending to listen while mentally drifting to fantasy football Feeling supported mattering more than perfect attention Introduction of "the story in your head" relationship concept People creating internal narratives about others' behavior Therapy discussion about the "negative partner story" Same interaction interpreted completely differently by partners Steak order example showing confidence versus high maintenance Fear of rejection fueling negative relationship assumptions Unfinished chores interpreted as proof of being unimportant Criticism often masking deeper hurt feelings Asking for context instead of assuming bad intentions Defensive partners feeling like constant failures Perception that some partners "want to be mad" Discussion of emotional addiction to anger Observation about radio personalities struggling with sadness Repeated unresolved conflicts hardening negative assumptions Couples eventually viewing each other as manipulative Gambling used as an example of false narratives Reminder that people rarely know others' full motives Using "the story I told myself" instead of accusations Softer communication reducing defensiveness Accusing motives as fact shutting down conversations Childhood relationship patterns projected onto partners Withdrawal and defensiveness mistaken for manipulation Difference between manipulators and misunderstood partners Calling someone manipulative ending productive dialogue Describing emotions instead of accusing intent Allowing room for clarification instead of blame "Master manipulators" compared to magicians with superpowers Importance of boundaries with manipulative people Staying curious instead of certain during conflict Speaking from personal experience during arguments Mention of the book "The Cost of Quiet" Promotion of the podcast "Insights from the Couch" Celebration of reaching 100 podcast episodes Observation that most podcasts fail after a few episodes Comparison between failed podcasts and unsold books ### Social Media https://tomanddan.com https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive https://facebook.com/amediocretime https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s Exclusive Content https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/

Confusion over whether the show is called Love Thy Neighbor, LTN, or the relationship show Colette joking about being Double D and acting off the rails Marijuana drink jokes and therapy client humor Listener email asking why Colette works with Tom and Dan Hate listening and consuming content people claim to dislike Rush Limbaugh jokes and pain pill references Colette receiving backlash over a Substack article Dr. Laura and condescending radio personalities Colette struggling emotionally with criticism despite approaching people with empathy Discussion about emotional sensitivity and reactive behavior Colette discussing Zepbound and losing 30 pounds GLP-1 backlash and moral superiority from strangers online Family estrangement and therapists encouraging no contact Gray areas between toxic family dynamics and healthy boundaries People feeling personally triggered by nuanced discussions online Substack compared to Reddit and less hostile social media spaces Reddit described as emotionally toxic and rage driven Story about spiraling after reading criticism online Colette admitting she is too sensitive to read comments about herself Anonymous commenters attacking Colette as a therapist Tom introducing his Homeless Man Theory for internet criticism Comparing online trolls to unstable strangers yelling on the street Debate about therapy influencers oversimplifying psychology Therapy Jeff backlash and controversy over domestic violence comments Discussion about outrage culture increasing engagement online Marketing advice pushing hot takes for clicks and visibility Debate over ethical responsibility for licensed therapists online Younger generations separating online identity from real life identity Tom and Dan describing themselves as entertainers first Colette struggling because her professional and personal identities overlap Desire to step away from social media and live more analog Discussion about excessive phone use damaging relationships Story about nine hours of daily screen time causing arguments Comparison between phone usage and watching a movie every day Relief after accidentally leaving a phone behind on a boat Anxiety fading quickly once disconnected from notifications Smartphones changing work culture and personal availability forever Nostalgia for pre-smartphone office life and shared computers Attention becoming the main commodity in entertainment and podcasting Introduction of the term phubbing in relationships Phones damaging emotional connection and bids for attention Smartphones compared to dopamine delivery systems Couples scrolling in bed instead of connecting with each other Matt Heafy discussing sleep discipline and avoiding screens before bed Realization that downtime without phones feels uncomfortable now Suggestions for replacing scrolling with conversation or quiet time Fear that society is powerless against smartphone addiction Concerns about giving smartphones to middle school kids Comparing smartphone addiction to giving kids heroin Suggestions for delayed phone access and parental controls Frustration with gym phone zombies and public speakerphone users Debate over whether older people are more addicted to phones Questioning whether people truly need constant availability Story about a failed podcast upload during a 98 Degrees concert Anxiety from waking up to listener complaints about missing uploads Discussion about gray areas in family estrangement decisions Importance of communication before cutting family members off Parents sharing embarrassing stories and damaging trust unintentionally Parenting described as a top-down relationship requiring repair Concern that some therapists push family cutoffs too quickly Story about a radio host inventing conspiracy theories about management Discussion about the story people create in their own minds Technology removing emotional nuance from communication Texting described as terrible for emotional conversations Wife confronting phone addiction during family time Tit for tat relationship arguments and defensive reactions Going to bed angry and emotionally shutting down Discussion about shame and defensiveness when criticized Advice to get curious about emotional triggers instead of retaliating Plans for future talks about communication patterns and conflict Plug for The Cost of Quiet Plug for Insights From the Couch podcast Plug for Secrets From a Therapist weekly Substack advice newsletter ### Social Media https://tomanddan.com https://x.com/tomanddanlive https://facebook.com/amediocretime https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s Exclusive Content https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/

Reigniting relationship spark with affection, novelty, and deeper conversations Relationships becoming transactional with kids, work, and routines Reflection on separation and divorce during a South Beach birthday trip Relief and optimism after leaving an unhappy marriage Story of meeting a future spouse in a dirty New Orleans bar Fantasy vs reality of dating again after divorce Disappointment with emotionally unavailable divorced daters Criticism of people complaining about the dating pool while contributing to it Differences between divorced and never-married people in their 30s Everyone in dating carrying flaws, trauma, and insecurities Men struggling with vulnerability and emotional availability Emotionally healthy commitment-oriented men marrying young Avoidant attachment styles and love bombing narcissists Attraction to exciting but emotionally unreliable partners Joke about finding widowers at funeral home happy hours Women competing for the same highly desirable men Nice men getting taken advantage of in relationships Discussion about lifelong singleness and avoiding relationships Humans needing connection but varying in emotional needs Non-romantic friendships and family fulfilling emotional needs Story of a mother happily staying single for decades Desire for companionship later in life despite independence Men entering new relationships quickly after divorce or loss Wanting companionship and caretaking more than sex in old age Young adults avoiding dating and blaming financial struggles Relationship recession and society becoming less social Digital life replacing real human connection People forming emotional relationships with AI systems Reference to couples therapist Esther Perel and AI dating cases Criticism of AI constantly validating and agreeing with users Debate over younger generations lacking social confidence Story about younger people disliking cold approaches at bars Modern dating shifting almost entirely to DMs and apps Debate over approaching strangers vs sliding into DMs Thrill and adrenaline of flirting and face-to-face attraction Confidence and humor mattering more than looks initially Joke about funny men struggling romantically Fear of modern dating after a hypothetical divorce Height as a major advantage in dating Reference to Richard Dawkins believing AI may be conscious Discussion about AI companions replacing emotional relationships Comparison between cloning pets and recreating emotional bonds Fear of emotionally perfect AI partners replacing humans Concern that frictionless happiness removes meaning from life Gen Z treating relationships more like emotional investments Younger daters being more aware of toxic dating behaviors Ghosting, breadcrumbing, and ghost-lighting explained Intermittent attention creating addictive emotional attachment Comparison between toxic relationships and addiction cycles Humans struggling with ancient instincts in a modern world Comparison between toxic partners and addictive junk food Praise for Krispy Kreme Dots during addiction discussion Mention of Super Size Me and unhealthy cravings Discussion about GLP-1 style solutions for emotional cravings Mention of using Zepbound to reduce compulsive eating Advice to slow down emotionally before attaching to someone Warning against repeatedly taking back disappearing partners Investing in emotionally stable people over exciting chaos Therapy focused on communication and growth instead of fixing people Most people never learning healthy relationship skills growing up Emotionally mature people communicating clearly about commitment Couples therapy helping healthy relationships avoid dead-end patterns Discussion about tone, defensiveness, and nervous system reactions Avoiding difficult conversations damaging relationships over time Shoe storage fights becoming emotional relationship symbols Story about shoe cabinets and ignored sunglass boxes Repeated household habits creating emotional exhaustion Difference between respectful requests and nagging Advice to frame conflict around emotional impact instead of blame Importance of understanding over winning arguments Healthy communication preventing resentment and circular fights Joke that shoe storage may be the biggest relationship issue Promotion for the podcast Insights from the Couch ### Social Media https://tomanddan.com https://x.com/tomanddanlive https://facebook.com/amediocretime https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s Exclusive Content https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch 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Love Thy Neighbor rebranding discussion and tone shift Dan jokes about appearance, gray sideburns, unshaven look Beard dye trends and contrast of gray vs dark facial hair Ska band and exaggerated character comparisons Listener email segment kicks off after backlog Husband obsessed with Instagram coastal minimalist aesthetic Comparing real life to influencer homes, bodies, vacations Pressure on wife to match size 0 influencer standards Resentment over not affording influencer lifestyle Husband asks wife to get in shape for photos Criticism framed as creative growth, dismissing feelings Emotional disconnect and absence from family life Wife feels she is competing with fantasy lifestyle Social media addiction impacting relationship expectations Coastal aesthetic explained as beach chic Hamptons vibe Hosts react to absurd social media pressure on spouse Therapist angle on unmet emotional needs behind fixation Body criticism and comparison harming relationship trust Example of body criticism contributing to divorce Attraction, communication, and sensitivity in long term relationships Advice to have honest conversation about emotional impact Suggestion to find compromise around shared interests Balance partner interests with respect and emotional safety Reframing messy life as authentic and positive Social media lifestyles described as staged and performative Influencer content compared to curated family content Obsession tied to unmet needs outside relationship Encourage expressing loneliness and competition feelings Competing attachment where hobbies replace partner connection Examples of identity consuming hobbies and social circles Risk of hobbies leading to emotional or physical affairs Debate on control vs trust in relationships Focus on where emotional energy is directed Importance of restoring emotional presence in relationship Social media addiction fueling dissatisfaction and comparison Algorithms shaping feeds and attraction patterns Cultural shift in expressing attraction publicly Decline of catcalling and public objectification norms Modern expectations around respectful comments Debate on giving compliments appropriately Suggestion wife consider leaving due to behavior Reminder emails reflect one sided perspective Advice to communicate without blame and clarify feelings Miscommunication driven by tone and body language People interpret words through personal experience Importance of clarifying meaning in conversations Warning against serious discussions over text Long distance relationship maintained through constant Zoom Emotional exhaustion from nonstop virtual interaction Relationship fading despite constant communication Question of sustainability without physical presence Need for plan to reunite in person Lack of touch and intimacy weakening bond Digital only relationships not sustainable long term Spouse hides 165000 in student loan debt Conflict over secrecy and financial transparency Trust breach seen as core issue Debate over shared vs individual debt Secrecy more damaging than financial burden Hidden decisions compared to secret luxury purchase Pattern of hiding actions to avoid conflict Therapy insight on secrecy from fear of disapproval Importance of honesty even if partner disagrees Balance independence with transparency in marriage Secrecy creating bigger relationship problems Different views on full transparency vs privacy Emotional intimacy requires openness Some prefer limited knowledge creating different dynamics Show format note chaotic start advice middle humor end People avoid conflict due to partner reactions Importance of maintaining identity in relationships Encourage asserting needs respectfully The Cost of Quiet book mention Wrap up of relationship advice segment ### Social Media https://tomanddan.com https://x.com/tomanddanlive https://facebook.com/amediocretime https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s Exclusive Content https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/

Social Media https://tomanddan.com https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive https://facebook.com/amediocretime https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s Exclusive Content https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/

Show intro jokes about smooth opening and host banter Colette praised for wide range of talks and promo work Desire to do more public speaking but lacking demand Upcoming Rollins College talk on communication and conflict Online dating class with Wing Girl on sustaining attraction Focus on connection after early dating stages Zoom classes for global audience comfort Older men dating younger women discussion Ethics and realism of large age gaps Kate Hudson libido comments referenced Debate on biological attraction vs emotional connection Preference for partners closer in age Discomfort with dating very young adults Attraction seen as situational not always intentional Relationship dynamics vary by needs and personality Some prefer submissive partners, others reject it Attraction to confidence, intelligence, independence Questioning father-daughter dynamic relationships Acknowledging some age-gap relationships are healthy Transactional relationships can still include care Emphasis on consent and awareness in dynamics Self-improvement before dating others Be yourself means improve, not stay stagnant Importance of communication and social skills Difference between casual dating and meaningful connection Key traits: kindness, curiosity, attentiveness Thoughtfulness stands out in disconnected culture Attraction can grow from consistency over time Preference for steady behavior over love bombing Balance showing interest without overwhelming Emotional connection built through deeper conversations Listener question on knowing romantic interest Confusion between friendliness and flirting Physical touch as possible but unreliable signal Importance of emotional awareness and perception Cultural habits influence touch and behavior Signs of interest: leaning in, engagement, attention Difficulty reading signals accurately Friendships can evolve into relationships Friend zone debate not always permanent Rejection experiences and emotional impact Asking directly for clarity encouraged Clear communication reduces uncertainty Risk of changing dynamic when asking Better to clarify early to avoid deeper hurt Soft rejection phrasing suggested Attraction often immediate and subconscious Sometimes attraction grows, often it does not Courage needed to ask despite fear Rejection seen as useful information Clarity helps decision making in relationships Avoid situationships by defining intent early Vulnerability required for real connection Practice builds resilience to rejection Confidence grows through repeated rejection Humor and personality increase dating success Example of David Spade success style Nikki Glaser relationship dynamic discussed Non monogamy acknowledged but not preferred Open relationships carry emotional risks Jealousy and attachment complications noted Celebrity rumor: Mike Vrabel and Diana Russini Debate over interpreting public photos Physical closeness suggests blurred boundaries Environment adds suspicion to behavior New attraction visible through behavior Emotional involvement possible without cheating Gender bias in public backlash discussed Impact of cheating scandals on families Some couples stay together after scandals Controversy turned into career opportunities Monica Lewinsky reputation shift discussed Power imbalance in Clinton scandal noted Media bias against women highlighted Double standards in infidelity narratives Satirical take on defending male figures Promo for Fairvilla Megastore talk Topic: The Cost of Quiet and communication Importance of discussing sex and intimacy Taboo around intimacy harms relationships Encouragement to improve communication Closing jokes and outro banter

Hormone therapy benefits include energy, sleep, overall health, and balanced estrogen, testosterone, progesterone Promo offer 100 off evaluation through MyEternalVitality with podcast mention Ghosting in jobs and relationships as avoidance of hard conversations Ghosting framed as self protection and discomfort avoidance Short term ease of ghosting vs long term lack of growth Ghosting causes psychological harm without closure Simple respectful breakup communication is healthier Practice difficult conversations to build resilience The Cost of Quiet concept in relationships Complaining about partners as common bonding behavior Difference between joking complaints and disrespect Complaining erodes trust and respect over time Triangulating by venting to others instead of partner Avoiding direct communication prevents resolution Emotional release reinforces complaining habit Possible addiction to complaining from emotional feedback Seeking validation replaces solving problems Group venting creates bias and one sided narratives Occasional support vs habitual partner bashing Protect relationship by addressing issues directly Maintain a strong couple bubble instead of public criticism Speaking positively about partner builds respect Public complaints damage emotional safety Avoiding hard conversations is a core issue Social media encourages oversharing relationship issues Illusion of privacy leads to saying more than intended Venting online replaces real problem solving Lack of communication skills drives online venting Cultural stigma around emotions contributes to avoidance Internet offers easy emotional release without resolution Communication skills improve relationship outcomes How a conversation starts affects its outcome Negative online content gains traction by attacking groups Listener email about emotional neglect of men during miscarriage Men expected to be strong and overlook their own grief Feeling unseen and unsupported after shared loss Male emotions often minimized leading to suppression Lack of validation leads to isolation and silence Difficulty expressing vulnerability after being ignored Miscarriage impact on fathers often overlooked People miss emotional cues or respond poorly Negative emotions outweigh positive perception Importance of one trusted person or therapist Therapy as reliable emotional outlet Friends may care but lack emotional skills Emotional talks make people uncomfortable Not everyone is safe for vulnerability Be direct when asking for support Suppressed emotions lead to anxiety and depression Therapy helps organize thoughts before conversations Avoid using friends as emotional dumping grounds Professionals provide healthier processing outlet Process emotions before communicating effectively Organized communication improves understanding Shared hobbies discussed as bonding tool Couples with shared hobbies seen as appealing Shared hobbies not required for success Separate interests can still support happy relationships Consider shared interests when dating if important Social media exaggerates shared hobby importance Attraction to different interests is normal Showing interest in partner hobbies builds connection Asking questions shows care and support Effort matters more than genuine enthusiasm Small efforts create emotional bonding Participate occasionally without full commitment Avoid over involvement that harms partner enjoyment Communicate boundaries around hobbies Balance individual and shared activities One shared activity can help connection Do not force participation without interest Partial participation is reasonable Listening to partner interests shows care Supporting partner projects builds connection Effort framed as love not obligation Offer help without taking control Ask how to help instead of assuming Mansplaining identified as frustrating behavior Over explaining can undermine partner Light humor about daily annoyances and household habits Promotion of relationship book on communication Mention of relationship focused podcast as resource ### Social Media https://tomanddan.com https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive https://facebook.com/amediocretime https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s Exclusive Content https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/

Social Media https://tomanddan.com https://x.com/tomanddanlive https://facebook.com/amediocretime https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s Exclusive Content https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/

Sponsor promo for MyEternalVitality.com and Dr Powers offering $100 off hormone evaluation and blood testing Discussion of hormone replacement therapy improving energy, libido, sleep, and overall quality of life Mention of gut health testing and identifying foods that trigger inflammation Dan plans to begin a gut health regimen after recovering from hip surgery Introduction to the Love Thy Neighbor relationship show with Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and Colette Fehr Conversation about manners and Dan's Southern upbringing expecting men to let women enter first Invitation for listeners to email relationship questions to [email protected] Hosts promise listener submissions will remain anonymous Listener email about tension caused by a spouse frequently expressing negative daily commentary Husband describes himself as an optimistic personality who assumes everything is fine Wife framed as focusing more on frustrations and problems in everyday situations Husband feels drained and anxious hearing frequent negative comments Husband internalizes his wife's venting as problems he must solve Wife explains she wants to express feelings rather than have problems fixed Husband tracked a week of conversations and estimated 68 percent were negative Wife responds that keeping score of comments is unreasonable Listener couple has been together for 26 years Therapist explains both partners can have valid perspectives simultaneously Couples often argue about wording or evidence instead of emotional impact Explanation that negativity bias is natural in the human brain as a survival trait Advice to communicate about emotional bandwidth before venting Suggestion to ask if the other partner has space to listen first Importance of balancing one partner's need to vent with the other's mental energy Emphasis that neither partner is wrong but communication boundaries are needed Joke about rounding the negativity percentage to 69 percent for comedy Discussion of switching between problem solving mode and listening mode in conversations Turning off the urge to solve problems can reduce emotional exhaustion while listening Some people naturally internalize others' emotions more strongly than others Upbringing and family roles can influence a person's urge to fix problems Spouses sometimes look overwhelmed while waiting for venting to end Reminder that partners are not responsible for solving every emotional problem Some people process emotions externally and need to talk things out Both partners' emotional needs and limits matter in conversations Emotions can be contagious and repeated negativity can affect listeners Partners can set boundaries when they lack energy to listen Joke about hiring someone else to listen to venting like a therapist Spouses can unintentionally become each other's emotional dumping ground Listening deeply requires more emotional energy than talking Importance of balancing emotional sharing to avoid overwhelming a partner Example of business owners venting work stress to spouses Suggestion to share general stress instead of long detailed rants Partners may feel overwhelmed hearing repeated work complaints Strategy of postponing discussions until both partners have energy Empathic people may absorb others' stress strongly Mirror neuron responses can cause emotional absorption from others Therapists learn emotional boundaries to avoid carrying clients' problems home Advice to remind yourself another person's problems are not yours to carry Encouragement to communicate personal limits without guilt Setting boundaries may disappoint someone but is still healthy Failure to set boundaries can lead to codependency and resentment Difficult conversations often start when partners are tired or hungry Hangry moods can make emotional discussions worse Advice to avoid serious talks when tired, drunk, or texting Emotional conversations require tone and context that texting lacks Warning that waiting for the perfect moment can become avoidance Communication compared to ping pong where partners check timing and reschedule Relationship communication improves through repeated practice like building muscle Start practicing vulnerability with small issues first Focus on expressing personal feelings rather than attacking a partner Positive responses reinforce healthy communication habits New listener email asks what personal information should be disclosed when dating Discussion about timing and context for revealing sensitive personal information Sexually transmitted diseases must be disclosed before physical intimacy STD discussion on a first date may not be necessary unless sex is involved Serious legal issues like domestic violence should be disclosed early Major life factors like children or divorce should be shared early Honesty about personal issues builds trust and emotional safety in dating Strategy of revealing flaws early so partners can choose whether to continue Around the third date suggested as a time for deeper personal disclosure Warning against trauma dumping too early while dating Example discussion about dating while still legally married but separated People have different boundaries about dating someone still married Early honesty may cause rejection but prevents bigger problems later Example of a background check revealing a criminal charge before a date Withholding important information can damage trust later Discussion of whether to keep dating someone with a troubling background check Explaining past legal issues may change how someone interprets them Humor about excuses for criminal charges like public urination Promotion of Colette Fehr's book The Cost of Quiet and its audiobook narration Colette exits the show segment while traveling for her book tour Hosts joke they are less qualified to give advice without the therapist Self deprecating humor about giving bad relationship advice Explanation that the radio version must fill a fixed time slot Hosts continue reading listener emails without the therapist present Reflection that the hosts feel they have learned little after months of the show Discussion about the ups and downs of long term marriage Example of one host staying upset for weeks after a conflict Joke about blaming a spouse rather than oneself during relationship issues Contrast between blaming oneself in business and blaming a partner at home Reflection that personal behavior patterns may not support healthy relationships Story about a friend blaming his partner during a relationship conflict Confronting a partner rarely improves relationship problems Hosts discuss learning small relationship lessons from Colette's advice Recognizing unhealthy patterns in others as personal progress Strategy of ending arguments early when discussions turn negative Admission of previously repeating points in circular arguments Effort to reduce repetitive arguing and escalation Encouragement for listeners to reflect on whether the show helps their relationships Relationship improvement compared to gradual progress from consistent habits Reminder that listener emails remain anonymous Listener question about how much planning is needed for a good date night Discussion about balancing preparation versus spontaneity in dating Suggestion that the listener may be overthinking date planning Many great dates happen spontaneously rather than through strict plans Couples can enjoy unplanned adventures together Difference between loose adventure planning and traditional date nights Pressure to plan elaborate or spectacular dates in relationships Running joke about planning a dinner with Shamu date Story about failed planning leading to fallback dates like Chili's Humor and the right partner can make simple dates enjoyable First dates should remain casual rather than extravagant Elaborate first dates can create awkward pressure Choose comfortable low pressure locations for early dates Avoid spending large amounts of money on a first date Obsessing over a perfect date can lead to disappointment Unrealistic expectations can ruin enjoyment during a date Maintain a positive attitude and focus on having fun together Casual activity dates like Hooters or theme park outings discussed Activities with distractions can help dates feel relaxed Self criticism can ruin otherwise enjoyable dates Hosts share personal experiences of overthinking dates Story about celebrating an anniversary at the Enzian theater patio Familiar places and shared memories often create meaningful dates Comfortable environments can produce the best relationship moments Acknowledgment that the therapist would likely give better advice Invitation for listeners to email relationship questions Reminder that listener emails are handled anonymously Encouragement for listeners to rate and review the podcast online ### Social Media https://tomanddan.com https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive https://facebook.com/amediocretime https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw TuneIn: https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/ Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s TuneIn: https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/ Exclusive Content https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/

Introduction to the Love Thy Neighbor relationship show with Dan Dennis, Tom Vann, and Colette Fehr Breaking news discussion about Britney Spears reportedly being arrested for DUI Lack of confirmed details about the Britney Spears arrest including no mugshot or BAC yet Discussion of Britney Spears conservatorship and whether it was helpful or harmful Speculation that Britney Spears may still struggle without the structure of the conservatorship Therapist warning against diagnosing celebrities based on social media clips Discussion of the mental health impact of becoming extremely famous at a young age Idea that some celebrities emotionally freeze at the age they become famous Example of Bam Margera appearing stuck in adolescent behavior Discussion of how people can remain trapped in youthful personality patterns Colette playfully challenging Tom and Dan during the show Joke that listener ratings increase when Colette pushes back on the hosts Story about feeling out of place at Colette book launch event Event attendees praising Tom and Dan for humor and vulnerability Story about a dance mom praising Dan honesty about bedroom struggles Tom reflecting on how he behaves differently as a father versus on the show Realization that humor and playfulness bond better with kids than strict discipline Comparison between drill sergeant dad and fun dad parenting styles Reference to Shaquille O Neal strict stepfather as an example of tough parenting Discussion of balancing discipline work ethic and fun in parenting Colette describing her father as both serious and fun Dan remembering his father as extremely funny and valuing those memories Emphasis on humor as a powerful bonding tool between parents and children Discussion of fathers modeling both strength and emotional openness Colette explaining vulnerability as a core principle of healthy relationships Discussion of her book The Cost of Quiet and its ideas about honesty and openness Explanation that past trauma often makes people emotionally guarded Argument that authentic communication is natural human behavior Claim that practicing vulnerability improves life satisfaction and relationships Discussion of struggling to be vulnerable with family despite doing it on the show Recognition that practicing vulnerability publicly is still meaningful progress Explanation that some people avoid vulnerability due to unsafe childhood environments Discussion of cultural expectations that men should be strong and silent Debate over the claim that women punish men for vulnerability Therapist perspective that partners usually respond positively to real vulnerability Idea that vulnerability often creates emotional closeness in relationships Explanation that humans are social herd animals wired for connection Research claim that strong relationships predict long happy lives Discussion of the paradox of wanting connection while fearing rejection Fear of judgment arguments rejection or abandonment blocking emotional openness Idea that vulnerability invites vulnerability from others Analogy comparing emotional growth to iron sharpens iron Argument that emotional armor creates distance in relationships Introduction of Shaquille O Neal comments about never opening up to women Shaq claim that vulnerability is a trap that can be used against men Discussion of Shaq belief that women weaponize men emotions during conflict Background about Shaq biological father leaving and strict stepfather raising him Discussion of generational differences in emotional communication among men Observation that older generations of men rarely talked about feelings Personal examples of families where men never discussed emotions Debate over whether emotional silence among men is typical Explanation that emotional suppression has been historically common Discussion of what opening up emotionally actually means Examples of men admitting fear sadness or insecurity Observation that some men are naturally more emotionally expressive Therapist noting many male clients share fears about vulnerability Explanation that men often hide doubts and insecurities to avoid appearing weak Common fear that vulnerability will be weaponized later in arguments Idea that past betrayal or trauma shapes vulnerability fears Example of past infidelity affecting trust in later relationships Warning against projecting past trauma onto new partners Discussion of how upbringing shapes emotional defenses Speculation that Shaq fame and life experiences reinforced emotional guardedness Humorous aside about Shaq and his former wife height difference Discussion of emotional sharing as a core function of adult partnerships Example of business partners sharing fears and stress to support each other Claim that suppressing emotions cuts people off from relationship support Therapist explanation that fear of vulnerability is central in couples therapy Explanation of limbic system response making rejection feel devastating Concept of corrective emotional experiences retraining the brain to trust Argument that avoiding vulnerability isolates people from connection Discussion of many people behaving similarly to Shaq emotionally Praise for practicing emotional openness within partnerships Idea that strong relationships improve overall quality of life Discussion of research linking relationships to longer lifespan Reference to Harvard Study of Adult Development on connection and longevity Claim that emotional isolation increases illness and early death risk Comparison between emotional growth and physical training Advice to start vulnerability with small emotional disclosures Personal example involving misophonia and sound sensitivity Explanation of irritation triggered by specific eating or scraping noises Strategy of framing triggers as personal struggles rather than blaming a partner Story about overreacting to loud scraping noises from a glass bowl Realization that anger in small conflicts often masks hurt feelings Example of deeper hurt feeling ignored or not listened to Discussion of repairing conflict after reacting badly in the moment Advice to start hard conversations by affirming the importance of the relationship Strategy of explaining feedback comes from wanting closeness Recommendation to apologize cleanly without excuses or buts Suggestion to ask permission to revisit issues later Advice to keep repair conversations short and manageable Distinction between sharing feelings and criticizing a partner Explanation that accusations trigger defensive survival responses Idea that naming hurt beneath anger creates connection Difference between saying you do not care and saying I feel like you do not care Concept of the negative partner story shaping relationship perception Explanation that personal history and triggers shape these stories Warning that small unresolved hurts make negative stories feel real Discussion of resentment building when problems go unspoken Benefit of focusing on personal feelings rather than judging a partner Principle of not owning other people reactions to respectful communication Emotional maturity defined as tolerating another person upset response Acknowledgment that kind feedback may still trigger defensiveness Suggestion to address patterns of repeated defensive reactions Recognition that some people struggle to hear feedback due to lack of personal work Assertion that people still deserve to express what bothers them Claim that suppressing problems is more damaging than discussing them Warning that avoided issues harm emotional and physical health Episode wrap up promoting Colette Fehr book The Cost of Quiet Mention of the audiobook version narrated by Colette Hosts discussing listening to the audiobook during busy schedules Light joking about one host having more free time than the other Explanation that the book focuses on simple actionable communication strategies Emphasis that the book includes relatable real life relationship examples Tease for a future episode focused on listener relationship emails

Introduction to Love Thy Neighbor relationship show with Colette Fehr Dan Dennis present and joking about liking being called Dan Dennis Story behind Dan calling Tom "T" tied to Tom's late brother Tim New segment idea interviewing listener couples about relationships on Zoom First listener couple introduced Dan and Shanna Tom jokes about grading their relationship compared to his own marriage Tom rates his 18 year marriage a C+ Debate whether long marriages automatically mean successful relationships Colette explains longevity alone does not equal relationship quality Couple interview format introduced for relationship discussions Dan and Shanna explain they met nine years ago Their relationship has been long distance between Georgia and Florida Distance due to each having teenagers still in school Plan to live in the same city after kids graduate Discussion of challenges of long distance relationships Colette shares experience with a failed long distance relationship Couple schedules visits months ahead to stay connected They see each other most weekends or every other weekend Early relationship involved meeting halfway and staying in motels Story of how they met through Twitter/X after a podcast connection Attraction built through humor and online banter before meeting Physical attraction confirmed after meeting in person Humor discussed as a strong attraction factor in relationships Dan introduces Shanna to the Tom and Dan podcast Joke about couples not sharing the same podcast interests Discussion of issues when long distance couples finally live together Example of military couples struggling after living together full time Concern that weekend relationships avoid daily stressors Colette notes strong body language and connection between the couple Warning that daily compatibility can still challenge long distance couples Example of a long distance marriage collapsing after moving together Couple explains what makes them compatible They intentionally do normal daily routines during visits Normal annoyance after several days together described as healthy Discussion of couples who stay married but live in separate houses Trend of living apart together relationships among adults Example of couples maintaining relationships while living separately Cost and logistics prevent many couples from trying the arrangement Dan shares family tension between Andrea and Maisie after crafting together Andrea uses a go to your corners rule to cool off arguments Temporary personal space helps reset emotions during conflict Relationship advice about taking timeouts during arguments Reference to couples timeout concept from Colette's book The Cost of Quiet Importance of emotional regulation before continuing arguments Couple explains how they handle conflict and hard conversations Earlier arguments were intense due to stubborn personalities Communication improved significantly over the last three years Practice of letting partners fully speak and validating feelings Emphasis on listening rather than fixing problems immediately Some conflicts require understanding rather than solutions One partner self imposes timeouts to avoid saying hurtful things Therapist explains timeouts prevent damaging statements in fights Cooling off helps people return to a calmer adult mindset Words said in anger can permanently damage relationships Conversation shifts to sexual compatibility in relationships Question about how long distance affects sexual frequency Discussion of libido expectations in long term relationships Joke about having sex soon after hip replacement surgery Anticipation increases excitement before long distance visits Fear of rejection after expecting sex during visits Discussion of pouting or silent treatment after sexual rejection Admission silent treatment was previously used after rejection Partner explains the behavior causes emotional shutdown Pressure for sex reduces desire and intimacy Mismatched libido occurs in most couples Importance of compromise with different sex drives Couple tries to meet each other's sexual needs Story about spontaneous sex in airport and airplane bathrooms Therapist observes strong chemistry between the couple Importance of maintaining sexual connection over time Advice to discuss sexual desires and fantasies openly Many people feel uncomfortable discussing sex Long term couples must adapt as attraction and libido change Hormones and emotional connection influence sexual desire Importance of communicating sexual preferences and concerns Emotional intimacy strongly affects sexual desire Dan reflects on past arguments about mismatched libido Expecting sex to happen naturally caused frustration Directly asking for intimacy can be healthier than passive anger Debate between spontaneous romance and directly asking for sex Initiating sex requires vulnerability and risk of rejection Couples often expect partners to read their minds Men and women both assume mind reading in relationships Discussion of gender roles around initiating sex Humor about sexual dynamics in relationships Therapist asks the couple what challenges remain Earlier conflicts were more reactive and intense Communication maturity reduced conflict severity Learning to acknowledge responsibility for hurtful behavior Shift toward calmer and more mature communication Joke about both partners being passionate Leos Therapist praises their accountability and effort in communication Learning to fight constructively described as a relationship skill Importance of apologizing even when harm was unintended Partners must care about emotional impact of their actions Therapist concludes the couple shows strong relationship habits Discussion of grading the couple's relationship Skepticism that couples show their best behavior during interviews Question about how often the couple communicates while apart Couple talks three to four times per day Morning, after work, and bedtime check in calls Zoom used to maintain visual connection during distance Short calls used simply to say love you and stay connected Consistent communication shows relationship priority Healthy habits matter more than having no problems Key habits include accountability validation communication and support These habits help couples handle future challenges Therapist gives the couple a high relationship evaluation Host jokingly gives them a C+ slightly above his own marriage Invitation for other listener couples to join future interviews Promotion of Colette Fehr book The Cost of Quiet Audiobook version narrated by Colette Fehr Closing remarks and tease for the next episode

Love Thy Neighbor show intro with therapist Colette Fehr Discussion of book The Cost of Quiet on Audible Characters Morgan and Leo overview Leo emotionally distant provider father Morgan carrying most parenting duties Morgan reconnects with ex and has affair Can emotional neglect feel worse than cheating Immediate villainizing of the cheating partner Gender bias in judging infidelity Disconnection caused by poor communication Affairs driven by emotional needs vs physical urges Therapy sometimes labels one partner the problem Increase in female infidelity cases in therapy Emotional vs transactional cheating debate Happy ending massage framed as non emotional cheating Lack of emotion does not excuse betrayal Emotional cheating may hurt more than physical Some partners see any cheating as unforgivable Confession scenarios and perceived threat levels Emotional attachment viewed as most damaging Reconnecting with ex online as emotional cheating Boundary defined by secrecy from partner Public shaming and social stigma examples Women judged harsher than men for affairs Many couples repair relationships after infidelity Healing commonly takes years Anger followed by willingness to work together Kids love and shared life influence reconciliation Affairs often symptom not sole cause of divorce Long term neglect leads to seeking connection elsewhere Self reflection emphasized over blame Sexual dissatisfaction used as justification Mutual blame increases toxicity Therapy fixes dynamics not villains Relationship treated as one unit Betrayal examined along with prior issues Listener worried about spouse close to ex Trusting discomfort vs self doubt Boundaries vary by comfort levels Micro betrayals through texting and closeness Calm boundary communication shows maturity Conflict avoidance suppresses needs Ignored boundaries require relationship decisions Validate feelings even in disagreement Relationship health over being technically right Avoid tempting situations Ongoing contact with ex seen as risky Balance respect and jealousy Express fears openly Reactions often less severe than expected Acknowledging fears reduces anxiety Accept people instead of trying to change them Evaluate staying after honest communication Therapy and medication support during crises Antidepressants reduce anxiety and conflict Personal experiences using medication in grief Destigmatizing mental health treatment Closing promotion of The Cost of Quiet ### Social Media [https://tomanddan.com](https://tomanddan.com) [https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) [https://facebook.com/amediocretime](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) [https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) Google Podcasts: [https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) TuneIn: [https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/) Exclusive Content [https://tomanddan.com/registration](https://tomanddan.com/registration)

Coordinated show opening banter Colette forgets makeup and panics before recording Tom provides emergency mascara from truck kit Nearly hitting Colette in the parking lot while distracted Busy schedules and constant business work Mascara as minimum presentable look Keeping emergency makeup at the studio Expired mascara and pink eye risk Previous emergency makeup stored in Tom vehicle Fear spouse learns another woman used the makeup Jokes about trust and jealousy over shared items Hiding the incident and trusting audience not to tell Transition into long term relationship fatigue Working together increases irritation and familiarity Everyone has annoying habits and blind spots Over communication anxiety and being particular Questioning logic behind stories and actions Difficulty suspending disbelief in TV and media Logic driven vs emotion driven perspectives Emotions matter even when intentions were harmless Apologizing without defensiveness Listening to feedback to repair relationships Need for space vs constant communication Talking openly to maintain relationships Taking criticism without immediate explanation Attachment makes criticism feel threatening Defensiveness driven by fear of losing connection Amygdala hijack during arguments Emotional expression varies even in same family Personality wiring differences Genetic and environmental influence on emotions Emotions as biological signals tied to needs Share feelings instead of yelling or blame Validate emotions instead of fixing them Science based explanation helps logical partners empathize Emotional education improves relationships Complementary strengths balance weaknesses Traits that attract also annoy partners Passionate vs logical intimacy differences Humor about AI partners and sex robots Arranged marriages lasting longer discussion Unconscious attraction patterns in partner choice Repeating family of origin relationship dynamics Therapy helps change unhealthy attraction patterns Self awareness over chemistry alone Reconsidering tolerance for bad behavior Promotion of relationship advice book Audiobook narration quality discussion Practical communication tools for couples ### Social Media [https://tomanddan.com](https://tomanddan.com) [https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) [https://facebook.com/amediocretime](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) [https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) Google Podcasts: [https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) TuneIn: [https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/) Exclusive Content [https://tomanddan.com/registration](https://tomanddan.com/registration)

Introduction to Love Thy Neighbor with Dan, Tom, and Colette Fair Playful debate over old school chivalry and introducing women Promoting Colette Fair podcast and her book The Cost of Quiet How traditional chivalry feels awkward to younger generations Southern manners like yes maam and holding doors Bathroom door mishaps lead to installing occupied slider sign Anxiety over helping women with heavy boxes Chivalry anxiety and overthinking polite gestures Debate: polite vs sexist door holding Observing fewer door holders in New York vs the South Chivalry as dating charm and intentional courting behavior Holding doors for everyone vs gender specific gestures Performative manners vs real respect Kids questioning equality and why boys should do extra Mixed cultural messages about equality and roles Preferring chivalry in marriage over strangers Helping with airplane luggage as practical kindness Metro dilemma over offering seat to marathon runner Safer approach: simply ask if someone wants help Generational divide over manners and equality Colette appearance on The Tamron Hall Show Airing details across ABC, CW, Hulu timing uncertainty SoHo studio experience and traditional TV production Other shows filmed there: The View, GMA, Kelly and Mark Live audience of 110 receiving her book Scale of national TV production behind the scenes Pre show nerves despite long media career All day anticipation anxiety before live events Calm once actually on stage or on camera Similar dread before hosting live beer fests Public speaking fear as herd survival instinct Exhaustion from recurring pre event anxiety Accepting that stage fear may never fully disappear Using self soothing tools from her book Live TV pressure as on call expert Feeling thrown off by unexpected questions Topic focused on mothers in law and difficult family dynamics Applying romantic communication tools to family conflict Mothers feeling threatened by sons partners Clarifying language around moving on from parents Self consciousness under studio lights Fear of underperforming on national TV Post show memory blur and replay anxiety Spontaneous audience applause as validation Rising trend of family cut offs via social media culture When cut offs are appropriate vs avoidance Emphasizing communication and boundaries first Personal hurt from longtime friend during book launch Temptation to cut off instead of confront Avoiding triangulation through mutual friends Questioning intent vs impact in conflict Accepting shift in closeness without drama Redirecting energy to reciprocal relationships Never give up mindset can prolong unhealthy ties Middle ground before full cut off Trust built through repeated repair attempts Deciding to accept relationship as is or move on Cultural narrative of sons leaving mothers for partners Anxiety among mothers of sons after marriage Advice: be warm and non judgmental to sons partner Avoid power struggles and control tactics Positive example of respectful mother in law relationship Tamron show featured repaired and permanent cut offs Tease: what to do when you are sick of your partner Book plug for The Cost of Quiet and audiobook praise Invitation for listener emails ### Social Media [https://tomanddan.com](https://tomanddan.com) [https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) [https://facebook.com/amediocretime](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) [https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) Google Podcasts: [https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) TuneIn: [https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/) Exclusive Content [https://tomanddan.com/registration](https://tomanddan.com/registration)

Introduction to Love Thy Neighbor without Colette present Colette book The Cost of Quiet hits Amazon bestseller Audio from live launch at Mercedes-Benz of Maitland Professional production and full event program Feeling like misfits among polished attendees Jokes about BDM prize skunks chasing perks Being treated like novelty personalities at upscale events Riffs about fans spouses and addiction jokes Praise for Colette and continued collaboration Audiobook read by Colette and love of author narration Joke about alternate narrator Invite anonymous listener emails Colette gratitude to attendees and sponsors Book inspired by difficult first marriage and divorce Owning personal responsibility in conflicts Conflict avoidance as core relationship issue Quiet means avoiding hard talks not silence Fear of rejection driving suppressed communication Conflict framed as path to deeper connection Roadmap for regulation self awareness communication Self advocacy and empowered expression Writing easier than modern book marketing Growth through public speaking TEDx and new podcast Over 1000 books sold with traditional deal Push for presales and launch week visibility Sales about impact not profit Lessons made accessible and actionable Applies to personal and professional relationships Insights from the Couch podcast for midlife women Laura Bowman therapy focus on anxiety and midlife Menopause and perimenopause gaining attention Quiet quitting long term relationships Gen X women juggling careers parenting burnout Financial independence enabling divorce Women seeking deeper emotional engagement Emotional vulnerability key to saving relationships Rise of gray divorce led by women Self connected communication and inner mentoring Individual therapy healing underdeveloped parts Relationship with self as foundation Former office neighbors before podcast connection Humor bridging therapy and loud podcast world Love Thy Neighbor launched after guest spots Natural chemistry and balanced dynamic Humor engaging men in relationship talks Silent treatment and withdrawal as male patterns Work pressure limiting presence at home Traditional masculinity blocking vulnerability Tough guy persona tied to loneliness Regulate emotions not suppress or explode Podcast as informal therapy and growth space Praise for Colette work ethic and mission Charlotte McCullough licensed marriage therapist Media appearances on local news and TV shows Loneliness crisis inside and outside marriage Marriage cannot meet every emotional need Reciprocal friendships matter more than quantity Deep bonds over shallow surface contact Technology eroding in person community Men often lacking close friendships Balance togetherness autonomy and alone time Build friendships through small daily connections Schedule friendship time including Zoom hangouts Time limited prioritize loved ones Keisha Scott behavioral health and podcasting Guardian Recovery adolescent program Teen brain development and weak prefrontal cortex Social media nonstop comparison pressure Parenting pendulum from harsh to gentle toward balance Over parenting causing failure to launch Cost of quiet applied to parenting Avoiding discipline breeds resentment and risk Create safe space with real consequences Small communication tweaks transform parent teen bonds Teach expression alongside resilience Raise grit in a comfort driven world Teen mental health crucial for future wellbeing Initiate vulnerable honest conversations Difficult talks framed as care Change patterns by showing up differently Send safe signals to invite warmth Closing gratitude and call to apply lessons ### Social Media [https://tomanddan.com](https://tomanddan.com) [https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) [https://facebook.com/amediocretime](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) [https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) Google Podcasts: [https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) TuneIn: [https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/) Exclusive Content [https://tomanddan.com/registration](https://tomanddan.com/registration)

Love Thy Neighbor relationship show intro Colette Jane Fair as therapist co-host Colette Jane Fair book promotion and name spelling Easier book access at thecostofquiet.com Jokes about bad spelling and confidence Florida cold weather shock and routines Comedy song about being too cold Comparing Florida cold snaps to northern winters Liking New York but not winter weather Extreme Florida temp swings vs gradual cold Relationship awareness from doing the show Relationship content as emotional homework Keeping relationships top of mind Social media pushing relationship advice Dependence vs codependence confusion Partnership as a co-pilot in life Long relationships starting young Dividing responsibilities over time Relying on a spouse for life logistics Fear of helplessness without a partner Everyday tasks revealing dependence Men becoming dependent on wives Healthy dependence vs unhealthy codependence Healthy interdependence concept Keeping individual identity in a couple Respectful disagreement as intimacy Codependency roots in addiction dynamics Losing self to manage others Enabling harmful behavior to avoid conflict Saying yes to keep peace Emotional support as normal reliance Overlap between healthy and unhealthy patterns Common codependency examples Mutual enabling in relationships Taking responsibility for another adult Codependency outside addiction like work Early coupling increasing codependency risk Childhood shaping conflict avoidance Carrying patterns into work and marriage People pleasing to avoid upsetting others Asking a spouse for things without looking Laziness mistaken for dependence Humor about shouting for items Unnecessary everyday reliance Asking for help as a signal of distress Seeking comfort through minor complaints Noticing and correcting attention seeking Normal desire for care without labels Habitual reliance for simple tasks Laziness vs codependence distinction Overthinking reactions instead of speaking Avoiding direct communication Fear of asking for personal time Anticipating rejection before talking Weekend trip example of codependence Managing a partners emotions Thoughtful timing vs manipulation Naming fear instead of control Saying dont get mad fails Inviting honest conversation Vulnerability creating safer talks Avoiding hard talks as core issue The idea behind The Cost of Quiet Using discomfort to enter conflict Extreme avoidance as codependence Learning to tolerate discomfort Honesty may upset others Growth and relationship work is hard Difficulty as a sign of value Short term discomfort for long gain Conversations ease with practice Reactions often less severe than feared Introducing the 777 relationship rule Weekly date nights Getaways every seven weeks Vacations every seven months Skepticism about realism Adjusting date nights for parents Dates as intentional time Vacations as presence and unplugging Accountability through scheduling Couple time vs family time Blurring lines with one child Risk of neglecting spousal bond Need for partner only time Difficulty choosing dates over family Date nights feel different than family time Novel experiences boosting attraction Activities without emotional connection Surface level relationships Emotional connection over activities Conversation quality over cost Meeting needs through kids instead of partners Life organized around children Disconnection after kids leave Gray divorce after 50 Quiet quitting in marriage Emotional neglect over years Marriage compared to client maintenance Losing connection without communication Taking a spouse for granted Shortchanging marriage for work or kids Presence over rigid rules Intent behind dates and vacations Valuing simple shared moments Low cost memories matter Anonymous listener email promotion Listener story about chronic pain and surgery Dreading holidays due to limits Setting boundaries for well being Family pushing unexpected plans Choosing honesty over obligation Family reactions and acceptance Relief from quiet holiday Empowerment from self protection Kind honesty with boundaries Tolerating disappointment without self betrayal Catastrophic thinking about conflict Recognizing worst case thinking Holding anxious thoughts lightly Avoiding obligations by default Rest needs mistaken for laziness Questioning if hard always equals good Growth discomfort vs unnecessary suffering Internalized shoulds Not all hard things are worth it Choosing based on need not difficulty Honoring personal limits Deciding by capacity and health Saying no due to health or injury Emotions as boundary signals Desire vs fear of disappointing Difficulty giving self permission Habitual yes saying Losing self through accommodation Identifying codependent patterns Prioritizing others at personal cost Belief that suffering is required Work as coping Emotional suppression as strength Resistance to personal change Avoidance increasing fear Tolerating others discomfort Redefining toughness as boundaries Self honoring as the harder path Asking what you want Self focused wants feeling unsafe Balancing self and relationship needs Avoiding selfishness or self erasure Unclear personal wants Acting from obligation not desire Identifying as recovering codependent Physical anxiety before talks Honest entry into hard conversations Fears rooted in past experiences Talks less severe than expected Ongoing growth over perfection The Cost of Quiet book and release event Closing thoughts and future discussions

* Love Thy Neighbor intro with Colette Fair and sold out book party in Maitland * Middle names used on air * Dan originally named Dan Lee before radio * Name came from college musician friend * Dan hated Dan Lee and changed it * Joke about Daniel Day Lewis * Colette knowing little about the hosts * Bear suit embarrassment story * Sudden shift from jokes to tragedy * Local therapist murder suicide case * Therapist client boundary risks * Story appearing in social feeds * Avoiding news for mental health * Garbage in garbage out media rule * Balance between news and sanity * After hours therapy attack details * Former client returning violent * Victim therapist Rebecca White named * Praise for her compassion and work * Specialized in offender treatment * Hurt people hurt people idea * Rehab versus punishment debate * Attacker criminal history noted * Therapist asked intruder to leave * Other client threatened 911 * Therapist and client stabbed * Client expected to recover * Attacker fled then killed himself * Suicide outside a church * Knife violence against women focus * Therapist workplace safety concerns * Colette no longer working nights * Husband staying late for protection * Violence against women ongoing issue * Emotional toll on therapist community * Invited to Mayor Demings forum * Florida ranked 49th in funding * Criticism of state priorities * Florida crime headline jokes * Open records and sunshine laws * Population growth adding pressure * Call for more mental health access * Crazy goes south saying * Florida penal colony jokes * Aging jokes and sideburn talk * Teasing as closeness sign * Mental health spectrum discussion * Addiction and illness as major issues * Extreme cases versus everyday struggle * Middle group quietly suffering * Job loss divorce depression stress * Fixing middle improves outcomes * Burnout culture and nonstop work * Fake perfect life online * Social media unrealistic standards * Deepfakes harming kids * Tech damaging relationships * Transition to relationships talk * Drive affecting a spouse * Husband joking stay at home role * Calm personality praised * Four beers test of likability * Not threatened by partner success * Living with driven people hard * Being too hard on self * Inner critic negativity * Lighten up advice * Fear of laziness behind criticism * Childhood roots of self talk * Rest as productive reframed * Burnout and withdrawal * Kinder self dialogue * Self compassion helps relationships * Difficulty accepting kindness * Sports psychology model * Forget mistakes quickly * Neutral mindset example * NFL playoff psychology * Brady emotional detachment joke * Success versus family trade offs * Some born for singular greatness * Attraction to driven partners * Smart women mislabeled cold * Support for partner success * Book launch consuming life * Post launch emotional crash * Planning future goals * Anticipation improves happiness * Planning small trips together * Novelty strengthens attraction * Listener emails segment * Frozen camera double finger moment * Listener praise for joyful start * Married out of league joke * Relationship listeners theory * Even good relationships struggle * Anonymous email call * Long marriage listener story * Autistic executive function issues * Pebble in shoe story * Always accommodating partner dynamic * Get my way credit question * You cannot bank compliance points * Case by case decisions * Communicate why it matters * I dont care restaurant problem * Engagement versus checking out * No transactional relationships * Asking directly early * Avoid resentment arguments * Reframing I dont care language * Helping brainstorm choices * Colette book preorder plug * Book on Amazon and Barnes * Audiobook coming soon * Episode close and sign off ### Social Media [https://tomanddan.com](https://tomanddan.com) [https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) [https://facebook.com/amediocretime](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) [https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) Google Podcasts: [https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) TuneIn: [https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/) Exclusive Content [https://tomanddan.com/registration](https://tomanddan.com/registration)

• Introduction of Love Thy Neighbor and Colette Fair as recurring relationship expert • Casual emotional check-in with Colette and jokes about free advice and "private" episodes • Shift to self-esteem, confidence, and how aging impacts desirability • Aging anxiety framed as more intense for women and tied to social pressure • Fear of no longer being attractive to a partner despite reassurance • Difference between venting emotions and partners trying to "fix" feelings • Logical acceptance of aging versus emotional resistance • Dermatologist visit and Botox history triggering aging realization • Shock of being presented with plastic surgery as a next step • Discomfort with crossing into an "old person" identity • Social media comments and viral posts amplifying insecurity • Double standard in how men vs women are judged for aging • Media careers creating stronger appearance pressure for women • Men aging seen as gaining credibility while women lose it • Question of accepting aging versus cosmetic intervention • Aging framed as a personal relationship with oneself • Importance of self-approval over external validation • Belief that long-term partner attraction is relatively stable • Discussion of younger men dating older women • Attraction framed as confidence, intelligence, presence, and power • MILF/older-woman attraction discussed with humor • Confidence repeatedly identified as the most attractive trait • Increased self-scrutiny from frequent media appearances • Anxiety distorting self-perception while others don't notice changes • Partners often indifferent to appearance fluctuations • Tension between preaching acceptance and living it • Men's aging insecurity expressed through health and career • Hip replacement and medical procedures as aging milestones • Humor used to cope with vulnerability • Fear of drastic cosmetic changes; openness to subtle intervention • Social media filters and celebrity comparisons warping standards • Celebrities' resources creating unrealistic comparisons • Pamela Anderson cited for embracing no-makeup aging • Cultural discomfort with women aging publicly • Confidence reframed as more attractive than perfection • Shift to divorce and Annie Duke's Quit concept • Challenging "never quit" messaging in marriage • Quitting sometimes healthier than staying • Therapist as guide, not decision-maker • No one-size-fits-all relationship advice • Acceptance that either staying or leaving can turn out okay • Emotional difficulty accepting uncertainty • Rejection of soulmate mythology; marriage as ongoing choices • Critique of praising endurance as moral superiority • Amicable divorce reframed as not a failure • Harm to kids tied to conflict, not divorce itself • Social stigma and pressure keeping people stuck • Listener email about praising a spouse publicly • Genuine vs performative appreciation discussed • Wife's follow-up email praising consistent effort over decades • Takeaway: small, consistent actions matter more than grand gestures • Relationship compared to a tire that needs regular "air" • Daily or weekly intentional connection suggested • "Bids for connection" like watching a partner's shows • Choosing partner needs over personal comfort builds closeness • Core self-check: are you doing what matters to your partner? • Promotion of Colette's book launch, The Cost of Quiet • Event details: Thursday the 29th, 5:30–7:30 PM, Maitland Mercedes-Benz • Live podcast, food, drinks, community vibe, limited tickets • Book theme: avoiding hard conversations damages relationships • Growth framed as choosing hard effort over easy avoidance • Closing remarks and sign-off ### Social Media https://tomanddan.com https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive https://facebook.com/amediocretime https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show – A Mediocre Time Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 Google Podcasts https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw Exclusive Content https://tomanddan.com/registration Merch https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/

• Introduction of Love Thy Neighbor with relationship therapist Colette Fair • Colette managing stress while preparing for The Cost of Quiet book launch • Announcement of The Cost of Quiet launch event at Maitland Mercedes-Benz • Event details: date, time, location, ticket includes a copy of the book • Framing the launch as both a book release and a community gathering • Loneliness discussed as a widespread modern issue • Feeling lonely even within families and long-term relationships • Humor about hiding in the bathroom for quiet time • Phones and constant distraction worsening disconnection • Live podcast recording planned at the launch event • Meet-and-greet with hosts and attendees • Food, drinks, and relaxed, low-pressure atmosphere emphasized • Event positioned as an easy entry point to relationship work • Participation from local therapists and community voices • Focus on improving connection and reducing loneliness • Communication breakdowns linked to phones and social media • Ticket info shared via website, show notes, and live chat • Giveaway of 10 free tickets with email entry instructions • Encouragement for longtime listeners and newcomers alike • Listener email praising the show and a long, happy marriage • Discussion of attraction and intimacy growing over time • Question of whether partners value being praised publicly • Importance of expressing appreciation beyond generic compliments • Hosts affirm appreciation as rare and essential for relationship health • Daily emotional check-ins encouraged over routine small talk • Using specific appreciation during check-ins • Small household efforts as meaningful signs of care • Feeling "seen" through acknowledgment of little things • Research showing many positives needed to outweigh negatives • Couples overfocusing on complaints under stress • Balancing grievances with gratitude and affirmation • Limits of love languages and pressure to self-label • Most people still enjoying praise even if they claim otherwise • Compliments about effort, attraction, and appearance matter • Men and women both valuing being told they look good • Compliments boosting confidence in partners and children • Kids learning affirmation through modeled behavior • Discussion of whether too much praise can feel smothering • Difference between healthy appreciation and unhealthy overdoing it • Encouragement to ask partners how they prefer to feel loved • Public praise versus private appreciation preferences • Teasing and joking as long-term bonding dynamics • Humor, hazing, and exaggeration as signs of emotional security • Reinforcing that genuine appreciation is usually welcomed • Introduction of purpose anxiety and pressure to "find your purpose" • Reframing purpose as small, evolving, and practical • Careers often developing without a clear master plan • Feeling trapped in unfulfilling work contributing to loneliness • Advice to seek small joys instead of drastic life changes • Accepting that even meaningful work still includes stress • Finding meaning outside of work when necessary • Hobbies and side interests potentially growing into fulfillment • Parenting parallels about finding positives in disliked activities • Ballet discipline example showing delayed appreciation • Love languages explained as tools, not science • Overview of quality time, acts of service, touch, words, and gifts • Emphasis on asking directly what makes a partner feel loved • Alone time recognized as a valid emotional need • Mental load carried by women in families highlighted • Importance of noticing invisible planning and emotional labor • Encouraging proactive support rather than assumptions • Transition to dating after divorce in your 40s • Anxiety about modern dating norms and apps • Dating apps described as discouraging and dehumanizing • Encouragement toward low-pressure, in-person dates • Digital chemistry often failing to translate in real life • Normalizing awkwardness when reentering dating • Rebuilding social confidence through friendships • Reassurance that kind, stable partners are in demand • Emphasis on human need for real connection over technology • Invitation to the book launch as a social, organic meet opportunity • Reminder of free ticket giveaway and confirmation process • Lighthearted humor, optimism, and closing thanks ### Social Media [https://tomanddan.com](https://tomanddan.com) [https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) [https://facebook.com/amediocretime](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) [https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) Where to Find the Show – A Mediocre Time Apple Podcasts [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682) Google Podcasts 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• Love Thy Neighbor introduced as a relationship show focused on growth • Financial stress framed with humor about offering creative services • New year positioned as a moment for relationship reflection, not reinvention • Focus on small, attainable changes over drastic relationship overhauls • Comparison between extreme diet resolutions and unrealistic relationship goals • Small, consistent actions compounding over time • All-or-nothing resolutions setting people up for failure • Behavior change compared to habit-building and voting • New year not magically changing real life circumstances • Couples feeling stuck in familiar routines • Encouragement to carve out a few focused minutes daily for connection • Disconnection driven by exhaustion, work pressure, finances, and parenting • Numbing out with phones and screens instead of connecting • Daily ritual of sharing emotions, appreciation, and struggles • Naming emotions as a tool for deeper connection • Research showing many positives are needed to offset negatives • Quality of time valued over quantity • Sharing inner experiences reducing mind-reading and guessing • Importance of routine and consistency in relationship habits • Couples compared to distracted roommates orbiting each other • Need to reserve energy specifically for the relationship • Weekly small gestures like notes or tokens of care • Using reminders and pre-planning to support follow-through • Treating relationship effort like scheduled work • Humor about effort tied to desired outcomes • Tension between authentic connection and transactional gestures • Gestures lacking emotional presence not landing • Relationship growth compared to fitness results over time • Question of how to measure relationship progress • Difference between real effort and going through the motions • Gestures needing to match what matters to a specific partner • Differences in love languages and meaning • Preference for emotional openness over physical tokens for some • Compliments and physical affection as impactful gestures • Reminders to show affection not inherently fake • Warning against replacing communication with gestures • Encouragement to share emotionally even when uncomfortable • Surface gestures compared to shortcuts versus deeper work • Presence and emotional connection emphasized as core tools • Teasing acknowledgment of personal blind spots • Preparing mentally and physically for a second hip replacement • Cutting out alcohol ahead of surgery for health • Alcohol used as an unhealthy coping tool for anxiety • Distinction between casual drinking and substance use disorder • Lower threshold for substance misuse than assumed • Alcohol described as a neurotoxin with no safe level • Cultural shift away from alcohol and toward alternatives • Need to replace alcohol with healthier coping strategies • Short-term relief versus long-term harm from drinking • Personal experience of intense but fleeting relief from alcohol • Pattern of diminishing returns from drinking • Drinking framed as human but flawed coping • Anxiety-driven drinking during stressful events • Introduction of mindfulness as an alternative • Mindfulness defined as present awareness without judgment • Short practices still offering benefits • Mindfulness as accessible, low-effort support • Ongoing struggle despite long-term practice • Emphasis on honesty when discussing coping • Resistance to meditation due to restlessness • Gradual improvement coping without substances • Mention of mindfulness and meditation apps • Pairing mindfulness with journaling • Skepticism toward prescribed self-help routines • Research supporting gratitude practices • Gratitude linked to mood, longevity, and reduced anxiety • Structured tools making gratitude easier • Spoken gratitude as an alternative to writing • Simple practice of naming three good things • Gratitude countering negativity bias • Clarifying gratitude is not toxic positivity • Difficulty sustaining gratitude habits • Teaching gratitude to children • Kids defaulting to repetitive gratitude answers • Gratitude through future perspective-taking • Imagining paying to relive ordinary days • Reframing everyday life as valuable from the future • Gratitude tied to aging, loss, and impermanence • "$20,000 day" mindset for appreciating the present • Holding hardship and gratitude at the same time • Reframing daily inconveniences as meaningful moments • Joy found by noticing good amid stress • Viktor Frankl and meaning through suffering • Meaning and kindness even in extreme hardship • Mental stability through intentional awareness • Regret over not appreciating health and family sooner • Alcohol falsely creating a sense of slowed time • Gratitude mimicking that effect in a healthier way • Writing reinforcing memory and presence • Gratitude creating longer-lasting emotional boosts than alcohol • Learning appreciation without substances • Mindfulness and gratitude as trainable skills • Guilt around slowing down • Cultural pressure toward constant productivity • Life feeling like something to get through • Stress from always focusing on what's next • Chronic busyness driving mental overload • Value of micro-doses of mindfulness and gratitude • Small efforts producing real benefits • Breathing and presence as efficient investments • Practices improving through repetition • Mindfulness compared to religious prayer • Prayer framed as structured reflection and gratitude • Psychological reasons for religion's durability • Step-by-step explanation request for the $20,000 day idea • Using memories of children's early years for perspective • Recognizing mundane days as valuable in hindsight • Assigning value to ordinary life moments • Viewing today as a future memory worth protecting • Perspective shifts as a gratitude tool • Applying the idea to career stress and milestones • Pressure-filled moments reframed as achievements • Gratitude rooted in perspective, not denial • Positive feedback reinforcing emotional openness • Difficulty receiving compliments • Preference for perspective-based gratitude methods • Different gratitude approaches working for different people • Reminder that today's stress may be tomorrow's memory • Mortality clarifying what matters • Acknowledging illness while valuing being alive • Baseline gratitude for existence • Risk of gratitude invalidating pain when imposed • Letting people arrive at gratitude on their own • Distinguishing validation from minimizing pain • All pain treated as valid • Gratitude framed as internal, not corrective • Small, imperfect efforts still matter • Progress not requiring perfection • Car rides as built-in reflection time • Associating driving with appreciation for family • Kids remembering ordinary moments over big trips • Emotional realization about everyday presence • Humor about what kids will remember • Reflection on smoking as a past coping tool • Normalization of cigarettes in childhood • Substances framed as emotional crutches • Reduced need for crutches with healthier habits • Simple, repeatable habits replacing unhealthy coping • Personal growth indirectly improving relationships • Promotion of a book on difficult conversations and secure love • Applying relationship skills inward • Book release date and preorder announcement • Invitation to live book launch event • Live podcast recording and in-person interaction • Event location and venue details • Episode wrap-up and closing ###

• Debate over repeating the show title and old-school radio presentation • Traditional radio habits versus modern podcast structure • Adjusting how hosts and guests are introduced on-air • Colette's media tour to Atlanta, Washington D.C., and Phoenix/Scottsdale • Delayed release of holiday-related media segments • Balancing work travel with mother–daughter time • Family relocation from New York to California and reduced closeness • Ease of travel between Florida and New York influencing migration • Jokes about people "invading" Florida • Media stereotypes about Florida and Floridians • Comedians mocking Florida while wanting to live there • Upsides of Florida living: weather, space, beaches, lifestyle • Downsides of Florida: extreme heat and limited outdoor variety • Comparisons to western states' landscapes and activities • Jokes about boring Florida walks and outdoor options • Idea of recording the relationship show on a boat • Humor about awkward optics, spouses present, and swampy scenery • Wanting cold weather for the holidays versus reality of winter travel • Experiences with extreme cold in northern cities • Renewed appreciation for Florida after traveling • Transition back to structured show segments and emails • High volume of listener emails centered on Christmas stress • Holidays as a peak stress period for relationships • Family gatherings creating forced togetherness and emotional strain • Pressure to appear happy during the holidays • Financial stress tied to holiday expectations • Listener email about December disrupting an otherwise stable relationship • Conflict over hosting, decorating, and family obligations • Tension between protecting a partner's joy and personal boundaries • Feeling forced or inauthentic during extended holiday plans • Difficulty expressing negative feelings without "ruining" the holiday • Resentment from hosting, travel, and family expectations • Being told to suppress feelings and "put on a happy face" • Feeling disallowed from expressing true emotions • Codependency from suppressing personal needs • Telling the truth about feelings without blaming a partner • Communicating overwhelm and anxiety around obligations • Framing conversations as discussion instead of refusal • Using a 1–10 scale to gauge how much something matters to a partner • Stretching for a partner when something truly matters to them • Harm of minimizing personal emotional experiences • Over-functioning by prioritizing others' feelings over your own • Joint decision-making based on both partners' needs • Accepting mismatched holiday enthusiasm • Allowing someone to be the "Grinch" without forcing cheer • Balancing authenticity with social responsibility • Choosing whether to attend events versus attending with resentment • Emotional self-regulation when choosing to participate • Unequal labor when one partner drives holiday plans • Transactional dynamics and "rewards" for participation • Risks of trading needs for short-term peace • Right to say no within marriage and family • Saying no clearly and kindly without guilt • Reframing boundaries as non-selfish self-care • Accepting partner disappointment as part of maturity • Saying no to prevent future resentment • Pressure to fake happiness to keep peace • Fear of being disliked or disappointing others • Avoidance of conflict leading to resentment and distance • Silence in relationships having long-term costs • Advocating for personal wants and feelings • Being explicit when a request is a real sacrifice • Checking internally for resentment before agreeing • Owning the choice when saying yes • Not resenting a partner after choosing to participate • Practicing boundary-setting as a learned skill • Therapy helping break people-pleasing habits • Listener email about gift-giving anxiety and conflict • Overspending, guilt spirals, and pressure around gifts • Gifts feeling tied to love, effort, and parenting • Social pressure on women to perform love through perfect gifts • Differentiating joyful giving from trapped giving • Permission to scale back holiday effort • Negative self-talk and self-criticism around holidays • Accepting compliments and small boundaries • Emotional versus logical views of Christmas meaning • One partner not caring about receiving gifts • Accepting gifts because giving matters to the giver • Sharing wish lists to ease gift stress • Avoiding unintentionally ruining someone's joy in giving • Difficulty choosing gifts for long-term partners • Skepticism about "love languages" as science • Preference for quality time over material gifts • Critique of conspicuous consumption • Encouraging experience-based gifts over objects • Local experience gift ideas and planned dates • Thoughtfulness as feeling seen, not price-driven • Last-minute gift panic leading to poor choices • Mutual decisions to skip gifts in favor of travel • Pattern of saying "no gifts" but still feeling pressure • Choosing shared experiences like trips over presents • Listener email about opting out of family Christmas gatherings • Choosing peace and rest over obligation • Feeling judged by family for not attending • Courage required to set holiday boundaries • Expecting pushback when breaking traditions • Relief and joy after changing stressful traditions • Being labeled the "bad guy" for choosing rest • Accepting others' anger to stay true to yourself • Establishing new traditions after initial discomfort • Long-term relief once new norms are set • Family systems eventually adjusting to boundaries • Accepting that you can't make everyone happy • Permission to say "I can't do it this year" without justification ### • Social Media: https://tomanddan.com | https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive | https://facebook.com/amediocretime | https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive
• Where to Find the Show: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw | https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/
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• Holiday stress, polarized feelings, and relationship strain • Simplifying expectations and focusing on connection • Intentional family time and low-effort activities like games and puzzles • Screen overstimulation making simple activities feel boring • Relearning enjoyment away from devices • Emotional lift after spending real time with family • Effort required to engage in shared activities • Easy entry games and "adult parallel play" options like pottery, climbing, walking • Bonding without constant conversation; Florida weather enabling outdoor time • Casual family outings like parks, markets, and food halls • Scheduling pauses to avoid being consumed by chores • Rejecting holiday perfectionism in favor of meaningful moments • Memories shaped by shared experiences, not tasks • Traditions like driving to see Christmas lights; nostalgia for older displays • Local light events as simple holiday fun • Reducing pressure with easier meal choices and clearer communication • Asking guests what they want to talk about to spark genuine conversations • Choosing activities people actually want, honoring diverse traditions • Traveling for family obligations and maintaining positive ties with ex-in-laws • Modeling healthy relationships and blended family dynamics for kids • Showing kids that emotional expression is normal and healthy • Challenging traditional male conditioning around emotions • Using communication tools to balance expression with appropriate containment • Pausing to regulate emotions and "measure" their priority • Validating feelings as signals about needs • Exploring emotions with curiosity instead of fear • Humor and gambling used as contrasts for emotional decision-making • Childhood lack of control shaping adult emotional habits • Fear of being overwhelmed by emotions; learning they subside when felt • Many adults never learned safe emotional expression • Vulnerability deepening connection • Admitting stress in professional settings to create honesty • Using exaggerated emotion manipulatively in negotiations • Joke about trying to "mold" a partner rather than treating them as equal • Holiday romance movies creating unrealistic expectations • "Emotional pornography" and other idealized social-media extremes • Social comparison damaging self-worth • Listener email tease: feeling treated like a child instead of a teammate • Feeling infantilized by constant correction and nitpicking • Addressing issues individually with calm "I feel" statements • Partners often unaware they sound critical until told gently • Vulnerability inviting empathy and appreciation • Workplace analogy: problems persist without direct communication • Fear-driven assumptions blocking honest expression of needs • Wizard of Oz analogy: solutions simpler when people communicate • Clear, kind communication resolving issues more than expected • Promotion for The Cost of Quiet, including pre-orders, audiobook, VIP launch, and live podcast details ### • Social Media: https://tomanddan.com | https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive | https://facebook.com/amediocretime | https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive
• Where to Find the Show: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw | https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/
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• Low-effort vs. high-effort Thanksgiving experiences • Colette's relaxed holiday without her kids • Daniel's stressful Thanksgiving towing multiple vehicles • Different family traditions and conflicting holiday desires • Two opposing feelings about an experience both being valid • Giants' struggles, game mishaps, and kicker issues • Annoyance at Kansas City's continued success and Cowboys rivalry • Social media comparison culture affecting relationships • Pressure from idealized online portrayals vs. real life • Comparison in the past (holiday cards) vs. constant modern exposure • Performative relationship presentation and couples divorcing despite appearing perfect • "Gray divorce" trend among people 50+ • Rising gray-divorce rates while overall divorce rates fall • Causes of gray divorce: growing apart, empty nest, long-term unhappiness • Women initiating most divorces due to increased independence • Less tolerance for unhealthy or abusive long-term relationships • Women leaving disconnected marriages after decades of misery • Some couples staying miserable for years • Personal gratitude for having healthier parental models • Possibility of fixing issues before reaching gray-divorce age • Older couples' grumpiness as an "act" rather than true misery • Enmeshment, codependency, and low-grade unhappiness in long marriages • Changing expectations around marriage and desire for deeper connection • Settling vs. actively improving a relationship • Negativity being easier than expressing affection • Relationships needing intentional effort and kindness • Debate of repairing a relationship vs. starting over • Mutual effort, communication, vulnerability, and appreciation • Recognizing when only one partner is doing the work • Personal growth as the first step toward repairing issues • Listener emails about empty-nester fears • Encouraging open conversations about the transition • Validating both excitement and fear as bonding opportunities • Joke about having another baby and related risks • Habitual lateness in friendships and dating • Whether chronic lateness can change • Lateness seen as inconsiderate and selfish • Emotional impact of others being late • Adults' responsibility to respect others' time • Predictable lateness patterns and communicating boundaries • Importance of notifying others when running late • Lateness signaling someone's time isn't valued • Anecdotes about partners who avoid being early • Intent vs. impact in lateness • Hurt caused by repeated lateness despite requests • Deciding whether to keep making plans with late people • Debate over giving slack vs. upholding values • Being on time as a personal identity • Using buffer time to stay punctual • Setting boundaries around lateness • Listener praise for the show • Question about poetry in modern dating • Party with an on-demand love-poem writer • Gay social events with creative entertainment • Fundraiser with themed performers in every room • Gay friends throwing more elaborate parties • Adults enjoying whimsical activities like face painting • Decline of poetry in dating • Nostalgia for romantic gestures like custom poems • Writing poems or symbolic gifts as romance • "Key to my heart" car-key gesture example • Romantic vulnerability appreciated when interest is mutual • Making a bound book of poems after divorce • Embarrassment over past over-the-top gestures • Feeling previous partners didn't value romantic efforts • Pulling back romantically after negative past experiences • Romantic gestures fading in long relationships but still meaningful • Listeners relating to giving up on effort after lack of appreciation • Love languages shaping what gestures matter • Suspicion of grand gestures when out of character • Big gifts perceived as guilt • Preference for small, thoughtful gestures • Bringing home garden flowers as simple affection • Tailoring gestures to the relationship • Thoughtfulness mattering more than format • Writing a poem for a partner after a parent's death • Partner framing the poem as a keepsake • Dark humor in personal writing • Acts of service like cleaning a partner's car • Love languages lacking scientific validation but still useful • Balancing effort across work, parenting, marriage, and self-care • Partner needs often neglected when overwhelmed • "Quiet quitting" relationships through emotional neglect • Disconnection leading to gray-divorce or roommate-style marriages • Value of small daily acts of presence • Five-minute check-ins to maintain connection • Quality time over quantity • Phones and mobile games interfering with relationships • Avoiding relationship effort similar to avoiding exercise • Small daily actions rebuilding habits and connection • "No time" as an excuse; micro-commitments help • Encouraging a few minutes of daily relational investment • Homework: small daily effort toward connection • Promotion of Colette's upcoming book *The Cost of Quiet* • Closing the show with plans to return next week

• Audience enjoying the relationship show • Reminder to leave reviews on Apple Podcasts and Spotify • More relationship content appearing in social media feeds • Noting that consuming relationship content can boost awareness • Contrast between relationship-focused and random algorithm feeds • Brief joke about Hezbollah/Hezzy and Mike Tyson's age confusion • Introduction of the online "Bird Theory" test • Example of a staged bird video illustrating the concept • Gottman's "bids for connection" explained • Turning toward bids linked to long-term satisfaction • Bids are small attempts to connect, not about literal topics • Importance of responding even when uninterested • Ping-pong analogy for communication • Sharing memes, sports, or small moments as valid bids • Ignoring bids due to distraction or overload • Emotional harm from consistently missed bids • Healthy couples turn toward bids about 86% of the time • Harmful dismissive responses highlighted • Context affecting how humor or timing lands • Supporting a partner's unrelated interests • Overwhelming feeling of family members sending constant bids • Fear of hurting loved ones by not responding • Parent-child responsiveness applied to spouses • Spouses feeling de-prioritized next to children • Challenges in blended families and differing loyalties • Listener email expressing gratitude for the show • Joke about putting the show behind a paywall • Introduction of "retroactive jealousy" question • Retroactive jealousy defined as fixation on a partner's past • Normalizing jealousy but focusing on how it's handled • Rumination triggered by hearing about an ex • Differentiating insecurity from internal anxiety • Strategy of acknowledging emotions without shaming • Wondering why a partner often mentions an ex • Dismissing humorous "exposure therapy" ideas • Past-reference context in blended families • Sudden jealousy sparks in long relationships • Jealousy isn't the problem—behaviors are • Past betrayals and personality traits shaping jealousy • Acceptable to address repeated ex mentions calmly • Irrational jealousy about teenage events resurfacing • Watching old VHS tapes and feeling disconnected from past selves • Exploring why old incidents still sting • Jealousy sometimes signaling a need for reassurance • Limited dating histories magnifying past details • Young relationships evolving into adult ones • Encouragement to ask compassionate questions • Fear that discussing issues could "unravel" the relationship • Recurring infidelity dreams indicating insecurity • Question about when to show aggression publicly • Concern over being labeled a "Karen/Kyle" • Aggression rejected; assertiveness encouraged • Example of respectful assertiveness when correcting mistakes • Story of confronting a line-cutter who was blind • Story of confronting a smoker who was a little person • Risk of situations escalating or going viral • Critique of fight-for-honor culture • Mixed reactions to someone flirting with a spouse • Some wanting mild jealousy as proof of care • Jealousy not equal to love • Partners vary in territorial feelings • Email from a woman whose relationship began as a work affair • Agreement delaying introductions to his kids for two years becoming 15 • Missing major family events due to exclusion • Partner shutting down whenever it's discussed • Kids possibly resenting the affair • Avoidance being harmful regardless of the kids' stance • Distinguishing kid acceptance issues from partner communication issues • Avoidance giving short-term relief but long-term damage • Need for open talk about shame, loyalty, and exclusion • Theme of the therapist's book: the cost of avoidance • Promotion of "The Cost of Quiet" and preorder bonuses • Promotion of the Dec. 3 "Pitch a Friend" event • Event format: three-minute friend pitches • Event is free or low cost • Previous events included all ages and red-flag/green-flag games • Listeners asking if Colette will attend Beer Fest • Confirmation she will be there • Invitation for listeners to meet her at the Beer Fest • Peanuts-style "advice 5¢" joke • Joke about giving advice for an email address • Colette excited to meet listeners at both events • Closing note that they'll see listeners next week ### Social Media:
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https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw | https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/ The Tom & Dan Radio Show on Real Radio 104.1:
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• Live launch of "A Corporate Time with Tom and Dan" on Twitch and YouTube • Promotion of free Bad at Business Beerfest (Nov 22) and Sofas and Suds couch races (Nov 23) in Sanford • Both events are free, family-friendly, and include unlimited beer samples for 21+ • "Weird Job Wednesday" debuts with guest Amy Kaufeldt from Fox 35 • Amy shares her childhood dream of spaceflight and how the Challenger disaster changed her goals • Found passion for writing, studied journalism at Miami University of Ohio • Early unpaid radio work at NPR station WMUB; enjoyed radio's relaxed pace • Transitioned from radio to TV through NBC internships in Ohio; learned sales made more than on-air talent • Accepted first TV job in Great Falls, Montana, for $18K; learned budgeting and lived modestly • Covered Unabomber arrest as first major breaking story; called early years her "media boot camp" • Promoted to main anchor without a raise; typed scripts on typewriters and timed segments manually • Reflected that early grind built confidence and skill • Compared early technical work to today's automation, saying new journalists miss foundational skills • Discussed handling online criticism and "keyboard warriors"; shared story of viewer apologizing for rude comment • Mentioned balance between robotic presentation and human connection on air • Described seven-hour Fox 35 morning show, expanding from three hours since 2003 • Detailed hurricane coverage shifts, lack of sleep quarters, and constant updates • Explained teleprompter focus and staying authentic during serious stories like Casey Anthony trial • Shared story connecting puppy born without a paw to a family with a limb difference; became therapy dog "Charlie Tri" • Reflected on community impact and importance of compassion in local news • Mentioned station renovation chaos—lost internet and live shots during broadcasts • Noted female anchors face appearance criticism; prefers prepping at home to stay ready • Described field reporting risks: danger, exhaustion, harassment • Noted pay disparities across markets; few anchors become wealthy • Discussed influencer hires and decline of passion-driven journalism • Praised for professionalism and longevity; jokes about "Love Thy Neighbor" six-second kiss • Interview with comedian George Wallace performing at Orlando Funny Bone with Amy LeCours opening • Wallace recalls 49-year career with Seinfeld, jokes about being his "kids' father" • Talks shift from TV to social media comedy—"funny is still funny" • Emphasizes work ethic, travel life, and joy of live audiences • Promotes new show "Clean Slate," jokes second show is funnier because he's "naked" • Shares love for ice cream, weight-gain resolution, and "four L's"—learning, listening, loving, laughing • Encourages Tom and Dan to try stand-up; signs off with "I love you, nothing you can do about it" • Hosts praise Wallace's energy and liken him to a comedic Michael Jordan • Light talk on Wendy's nostalgia—spicy chicken peak, "Biggie" brand loss, fast food decline • Notes Wendy's sales down 5%, revenue $1.63B; reflects on inflation and quality drop • Misses dollar menus and quirky architecture like Alamo-style Taco Bells • Shifts to Rob Dyrdek discussion—critiques his self-help "wait list" marketing as cultish but disciplined • Notes grind addiction, unrealistic motivational tone, and monetized positivity • Compares Dyrdek to Tony Robbins; respect for his structure but dislike for gimmicks • Listener voicemail revives "white van speaker scam" story from 2000s • Dan recalls buying "Blue Rhino" speakers in college—real brand, not propane • Paid $110; they worked fine and lasted years • Debate whether scam is truly fraud or just markup resale • Reflection that working products made it feel like a fair deal • Closing thought: scams persist because "there's always a chance" • Show wrap-up and sign-off ### Social Media:
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• Launch of "Love Thy Neighbor" with Dan, Tom, and Colette Fehr • Banter about walking to Publix and Colette teasing Dan • Colette attends "Pitch a Friend" Orlando dating event and explains its PowerPoint pitch format • Discussion of dating app burnout, swipe fatigue, and loss of real connection • Colette's "Red Flag or Green Flag" game and insights on in-person chemistry • Jokes about people falling for the presenter instead of the friend pitched • Commentary on gendered dating perceptions and differing timelines • Emphasis on body language, vibe, and physical chemistry over screens • Comparison of "vibes" vs. science in attraction • Event at Gravity Tap Room; next one Dec 3 at Primrose Lanes (famous hot dogs) • Shift to sex talk and how men/women view dating motives differently • Dan values connection; Tom admits physical attraction drives men • Discussion of laughter as intimacy and thrill of early dating • Colette notes women often prefer emotional intimacy before sex • Ghosting and casual culture seen as emotionally damaging • Online dating breeds cynicism and "disposable" mindset • Digital judgment linked to low self-esteem and loneliness • Women face harsher appearance scrutiny; men struggle to show vulnerability • Conversation on male emotional suppression and biology-driven desire • Dating apps enable convenience over effort, leading to isolation or incel behavior • Men mocked for liking marriage; hosts defend partnership and family life • "Good partner > happy single > toxic relationship" • Example of friend thriving after self-work without a partner • Humans need connection; quality bonds improve longevity • Concerns about AI/robots replacing real relationships • Listener email: advice seems to blame men • Colette clarifies relationships are co-created; both share responsibility • Discussion of pursuer–withdrawer dynamics and mental load imbalance • Tips: team mindset, clear asks, "I" statements, avoid tit-for-tat • Men urged to state needs constructively and set boundaries • Example: request chores or phone-free dinners for reconnection • Partners show love by attending unexciting events for each other • Many men feel blamed; communication must be mindful, not reactive • Colette offers free communication scripts on her site • Emotional awareness isn't taught—requires effort and patience • Therapy reveals both partners need reflection and growth • Advice: express feelings without attacking or demanding change • Women often burn out from not feeling heard; checked-out partners rarely return • Most men prefer commitment once emotionally invested • Tom shares learning affection through small gestures like flowers • Upbringing made him reserved, but consistency built trust • Small daily acts strengthen connection over time • Colette praises Tom's effort and suggests habit-stacking affection • Gentle touch meets emotional needs and prevents "starvation" • Humor about forced hugs and awkward affection • Affection styles differ; goal is balance, not perfection • Colette urges small, steady contact—hand-holding or brief hugs • Joke about withholding affection as "emotional terrorism" • Reminder: send questions to [email protected] • Plug for Colette's book The Cost of Quiet and upcoming audiobook • Light banter and wrap-up about audiobooks and reading ### **Social Media:**   [Website](https://tomanddan.com/) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) | [Facebook](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) | [Instagram](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) **Where to Find the Show:**   [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/) **The Tom & Dan Radio Show on Real Radio 104.1:**   [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/) **Exclusive Content:** [Join BDM](https://tomanddan.com/registration) **Merch:** [Shop Tom & Dan](https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/)

• "Love Thy Neighbor" with Dan, Tom, and therapist Colette • Colette's California media tour for her book • Colette appears on the controversial "Whatever" podcast • "Whatever" framed as alpha/anti-woke male genre • Critique of toxic masculinity and "men under attack" tropes • Other shows mock/analyze these alpha podcasts • Past "Whatever" guests include Charlie Kirk, Candace Owens • Secretive taping: last-minute address, security, metal detector • Overloaded studio: 9–16 mics; strict mic rules enforced • Tom's old-school gripe: too many open mics • OnlyFans model spotlighted; show leans on visual appeal • Colette cast as the feminist voice on the panel • Her therapist stance: note rare valid points, reject nonsense • Rage-baiting for clicks; deliberate provocation • Dan learned rage-bait radio with Ed Till; ethical doubts • Colette dragged for going on four dates in one day • Chivalry debate: who pays and for how long • Defense of casual "coffee dates" amid app fatigue • Host claims chivalry burdens men while demanding submission • Child-support and dating-expectations attacks on Colette • Narrative: young white men victimized and owed obedience • Popularity driven by true fans, not just hate-listeners • Red-pill framing; younger male pushback culture • "80% of women want 20% of men" stat challenged • "666" trope (six figures/feet/inches) reactions • Men's anger tied to rejection vs personal responsibility • Politics baked in; red/blue pill props on set • Show prints money; Colette still gets online backlash • Preference for real help over grievance-weaponizing • Why the audience is large: loneliness and resentment • Claims denying wage gap/minimizing violence deemed absurd • Panel self-ratings; no "7" rule; some rate very low • Colette self-rates: 9 for her age; 6 vs 20-year-olds • '90s shock-jock comparisons without the wit • Colette vs Alex Stein's "confidence = sex bait" jab • Rebuttal: confidence from life experience, not sex hunting • Call-out of sexism tying older women's value to desirability • Hosts profit from outrage and controversy • Howard Stern contrast: provocative yet self-aware/comedic • Red-pill appeal to disillusioned young men explained • Empathy for average men squeezed by online ideals • Men judged to be tall/rich/successful; women also objectified • Apps amplify superficiality, comparison, and loneliness • Both genders warped by algorithmic expectations • Real attraction grows via shared humor and real-world contact • Screen time erodes social skills and confidence • Many alpha hosts read as insecure/inexperienced • Brian Atlas cited as projecting frustration • Submissiveness/obedience rejected as outdated • If chivalry demands submission, decline it • Strong women valued; confident men welcome equals • Hosts' wives as assertive, capable partners • Balance independence with care-taking; avoid dependency • Strong partners still want to feel cared for • Healthy dynamic = mutual giving and receiving • Is oppression of women ongoing? Colette: yes; others: no • Sex work: agency vs oppression debated • "Men must protect women" expectation questioned under equality • Traditional roles still shape modern instincts • Beliefs formed by societal conditioning and generation • Manners vs obligation: kindness without transaction • Some men now demand trades for gestures—criticized • Example: fake "submissive ex" video to sway viewers • Jealousy fueling resentment toward non-submissive partners • Submission vs genuine care distinguished • Acts should come from love, not hierarchy • Mutual care ≠ loss of voice; submission does • Colette jokes her husband might prefer more "traditional" • 1950s domestic role bit (slippers, whiskey, pipe) • Do men secretly want traditional again? Depends • Global and personal preferences vary widely • Respect for independent, confident women who lead • Relationships should rest on choice and mutual respect • Nostalgia for the 1950s called unrealistic, media-made • Real mid-century marriages weren't TV fantasies • Grandfather's orphanage/WWII story: hardship breeds empathy • Past resilience vs today's victim mindsets in men's movements • Relief that Colette's appearance ended safely • Plug: The Cost of Quiet — preorder info • Contact: ColetteJaneFair.com; anonymous questions welcome • Like/subscribe; plan to tackle listener emails next episode ### **Where to Find the Show:**   [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/) **Exclusive Content:** [Join BDM](https://tomanddan.com/registration) **Merch:** [Shop Tom & Dan](https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/)

• Introduction of "Love Thy Neighbor" with Colette Fehr • Discussion of recording schedule and Twitch/YouTube streams • Breakdown of seven relationship myths and modern realities • Myth 1: Compromise often means mutual loss—prioritize listening and connection • 69% of problems are unsolvable; focus on empathy, not victory • Use 1–10 scale to gauge partner priorities and set boundaries • Avoid people-pleasing; long-term avoidance kills authenticity • Myth 2: Open communication doesn't mean oversharing—filter strong emotions • Clarity before honesty prevents resentment and defensiveness • Humor and tone matter when giving feedback • Myth 3: Small stuff matters—minor hurts build into resentment • Direct, quick talks prevent emotional weight from piling up • Most therapy deals with small misunderstandings, not huge fights • Learn forgiveness; most conflicts come from misread intentions • Practice kind assertiveness—voice needs calmly and clearly • Myth 4: Intimacy doesn't fade—it evolves through vulnerability • Fear of rejection blocks sexual honesty; share fantasies openly • Timing and tone make difficult talks easier • Address libido issues with curiosity, therapy, and health focus • Recognize differing sexual rhythms and emotional needs • Maintaining novelty strengthens long-term desire • Myth 5: Chores or money don't break couples—disconnection does • Appreciation and communication outweigh perfection • Myth 6: Speaking up isn't conflict—it's clarity • Myth 7: "Never go to bed angry" is false—cool off before resolving • Emotional regulation and rest improve repair conversations • Promotion of Fehr's book *The Cost of Quiet* (colettejanefehr.com) • Invite listeners to email questions and subscribe for new episodes ### **Social Media:**   [Website](https://tomanddan.com/) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) | [Facebook](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) | [Instagram](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) **Where to Find the Show:**   [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/) **The Tom & Dan Radio Show on Real Radio 104.1:**   [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/) **Exclusive Content:** [Join BDM](https://tomanddan.com/registration) **Merch:** [Shop Tom & Dan](https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/)

• Introduction to Love Thy Neighbor and listener anonymity • Loveline-style approach to relationship advice • Divorce: emotional and financial toll, stigma, changing views • Hidden unhappiness in long marriages • Why people stay or leave relationships • Social media's impact on love, breakups, and jealousy • Deleting or keeping exes online; regret after erasing memories • Emotional recovery and boundaries with new partners • Growth through heartbreak and dating experience • Generational differences before social media • Keeping memories for children and history • Insecurity and jealousy over old photos • Attraction to emotionally intense partners • Insecurity and trauma behind jealousy • Communicating reassurance and setting boundaries • Humor about following exes or staying friends • Men vs women in post-breakup friendships • Breakups mirror grief and addiction withdrawal • Brain pain overlap: love loss and physical pain • Need for no contact and "starving the attachment" • Misleading social media images of exes' happiness • Healthy coping: self-focus, hobbies, support system • Negative coping: rebounds, substances, avoidance • All attachments heal with time and connection • Relationship addiction parallels substance abuse • Personal story: isolation from toxic partner • Learning from ignoring red flags, regret over choices • Should friends intervene in harmful relationships? • How to help: express care, respect, share concerns • Risks of judgment if couple reconciles • Listening over advice when friends struggle • Listener email: libido mismatch in marriage • Causes: stress, medication, trauma, poor communication • One-sided affection, avoidance of touch • Therapy access issues and long-term uncertainty • Common male-higher libido pattern • Start with honest talks about disconnection • Individual therapy helps but couples therapy better • Emotional reconnection boosts desire for many • Persistent mismatch may need other solutions • Women's desire often lower with age; explore intimacy variety • "Ways to cuddle" beyond sex; rebuild comfort • Cuddling linked to relationship satisfaction • Barriers: heat, bedding, menopause • Clarify touch doesn't always mean sex ("bristle effect") • Importance of nonsexual affection and lowered pressure • Humor about nonsexual touch confusion • Hormonal shifts and HRT improving libido • Testosterone's role in women's sexual well-being • Emotional intimacy key to lasting sexual health • Aging couples sustaining passion and connection • "Body count" topic and shifting language • Jealousy over partner's sexual past • Emotional maturity to separate past from present • Persistent double standards judging women • Younger generations less judgmental but stigma remains • Body count doesn't define worth or morality • Value of openness and health transparency • Honest STI testing, responsible dating culture • Infidelity experience shaping caution and honesty • Debate over privacy vs full disclosure • Acceptance that many don't know exact count • Reflection: honesty equals self-acceptance • Desire for unconditional love despite pasts • U.S. averages: women ~4–5, men ~6–7 partners • Surveys show exaggeration and underreporting • Cultural shame distorting sexual data • Past wild years unseen pre-social media • Misconceptions about others' sexual activity • Promotion of Colette Fehr's book The Cost of Quiet • Theme: tough talks build secure, lasting love • Reminder to email questions and subscribe ### **Social Media:**   [Website](https://tomanddan.com/) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) | [Facebook](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) | [Instagram](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) **Where to Find the Show:**   [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/) **The Tom & Dan Radio Show on Real Radio 104.1:**   [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/) **Exclusive Content:** [Join BDM](https://tomanddan.com/registration) **Merch:** [Shop Tom & Dan](https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/)

• Introduction of "Love Thy Neighbor" with therapist Colette Fehr • Welcome new listeners and mention high podcast ranking • Hosts called "teenage boys" for humor and immaturity • Men maintaining adolescent humor • Humor as coping mechanism and healthy outlet • Colette's husband's immature fraternity text thread • Male vs. female friendship communication • Women maturing faster than men • Relationship strain from maturity gaps • Midlife women feeling disconnected • "Six second kiss" relationship exercise • Dan performing kiss with his wife before daughter • Oxytocin and affection modeling for kids • Teaching children healthy relationship behavior • Transition to jealousy in relationships • Reddit story: man jealous of wife's galas with rich colleague • Wife transparent, husband insecure • Managing jealousy through communication • Jealousy triggered by wealth and attraction • Husband allows outing with boundaries and tracking • Clarifying jealousy vs. envy • Jealousy as natural nervous-system response • Some view mild jealousy as caring • Distinction between jealousy and control • Trust and openness as antidotes • Example of coworker emotional boundary issue • Playful jealousy as reassurance • Jealousy not proof of love • Personality and trauma shape jealousy • Irrational jealousy from dreams or imagination • Dismissing partners as "crazy" worsens conflict • Therapy reframing jealousy • Men's distrust of other men's motives • Debate on male-female platonic friendship • Communicating boundaries early • Cheating history affecting trust • Accepting jealousy without control • Listener email about couples without shared language • Curiosity about cross-language relationships • Soldiers marrying foreign partners • Nonverbal connection through emotion • Fewer words simplifying communication • Arranged marriages lasting longer • Debate: compatibility vs. effort • Religious and cultural pressure to stay married • Idea of renewing marriage licenses every five years • Humor about forgetting to renew • Renewal promoting effort and reflection • Native American flexible marriage traditions • Balancing commitment with self-respect • Therapy helping decisions to stay or leave • More men entering therapy • Workplace friendships and power dynamics • Ethical issues in boss-employee relationships • Difficulty setting workplace boundaries • Hard to assert yourself to a boss • Toxic workplace mirroring romantic issues • Balancing kindness and accountability • Discomfort addressing workplace problems • Need for professionalism and emotional awareness • Tracy's Halloween gift baskets as light humor • Emotion and business intertwined • Aggressive vs. empathetic attorney marketing • Personality differences shaping response • Colette's "Insights from the Couch" podcast • Upcoming book The Cost of Quiet • Contact through LoveThyNeighborShow.com and voicemail • Closing remarks and tease for next episode ### **Social Media:**   [Website](https://tomanddan.com/) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) | [Facebook](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) | [Instagram](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) **Where to Find the Show:**   [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/) **The Tom & Dan Radio Show on Real Radio 104.1:**   [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/) **Exclusive Content:** [Join BDM](https://tomanddan.com/registration) **Merch:** [Shop Tom & Dan](https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/)

• Introduction of Love Thy Neighbor as a relationship-focused show with hosts Colette Fehr, Daniel Dennis, Tom Vann • Early success: ranked #141 worldwide in relationship podcasts, airing on Real Radio 104.1 with affiliate expansion plans • Key truth: no perfect relationships; flaws, wounds, unrealistic ideals exist • Every relationship can improve, though not all marriages; toxic or abusive ones should end • Examples of divorced couples maintaining healthy or even friendly ties, often for children's sake • Self-reflection and personal responsibility as crucial for improvement • Awkwardness of exes with new partners, but maturity can turn it positive • Emotional extremes in love and hate, managing reactions with tools like the 90-second rule • Celebrity focus: Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban divorce after 19 years • Backlash unfairly blaming Nicole's career; double standards in divorce narratives • Challenges of Hollywood marriages: distance, infidelity risk, media pressure • Justin and Hailey Bieber facing false divorce rumors shows impact of speculation • Concept of "divorce contagion" where breakups unsettle others' relationships • Public scrutiny of celebrity infidelity vs ordinary people's limited chances • Infidelity trends shifting, more women involved; workplace common site for affairs • Listener voicemail: wife worries about retiring early, depending on husband's income • Concerns about medical costs, loss of independence, fear of resentment • Hosts stress clarifying husband's real feelings, suggest passion projects or part-time work • Therapy may help adjust mindset; alimony offers safety if divorce occurs • Discussion of mental load in relationships beyond chores • Homework: six-second kiss felt awkward but builds intimacy and bonding • Therapy insights: most problems unsolvable, focus on how couples handle them • Self-work over blaming partner; shaming is counterproductive • Promotion of Colette's book The Cost of Quiet, releasing on her 52nd birthday, pre-order online • Colette's podcast Insights from the Couch covers midlife issues with guests like Dr. Nadine Macaluso • Encouragement for listeners to leave reviews and ratings • Invitation for audience questions via email or T&D app voicemail • Reminder: more content available on A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan ### **Social Media:**   [Website](https://tomanddan.com/) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) | [Facebook](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) | [Instagram](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) **Where to Find the Show:**   [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/) **The Tom & Dan Radio Show on Real Radio 104.1:**   [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/) **Exclusive Content:** [Join BDM](https://tomanddan.com/registration) **Merch:** [Shop Tom & Dan](https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/)

• Launch of "Love Thy Neighbor" with therapist Colette Fehr • Colette's TEDx talk on relationships (April 3) and 13 years of experience • Her first marriage as "surface perfection" (family, labs, SUVs, picket fence) but emotionally empty • Husband's disengagement, loneliness, and realization of controllable vs. uncontrollable factors • Conflict avoidance as central issue; fear of arguments; lack of modeled healthy resolution at home • Growing up in "suffer in silence" or emotionally closed households • Comfort discussing with colleagues vs. difficulty with spouses due to higher stakes • Acting despite fear as her first principle; few families openly model conflict • Breaking intergenerational anger patterns and temper issues • Avoidance behaviors and male fear of losing intimacy after anger • Band-Aid analogy: ignoring wounds vs. addressing issues • Male tendency to equate sex with connection; women needing connection before sex • Misinterpretations fueling breakdowns; frustration over vague requests • Desire for clear, task-oriented path to intimacy; comparison to instructional videos • Wizard of Oz ruby slippers metaphor: solutions are within • Conflict as surprising but powerful way to connect • Sharing fears builds closeness; vulnerability as risky but vital • Reframing conflict talk as "magic trick" for connection • Emotions as signals: sadness = loss, anger = need for change • Facing conflict repeatedly reduces fear; positive reinforcement when met with care • Disconnection signs: neglecting kisses goodnight, passing interactions, deprioritizing spouse • Long-married regret at silence; lighthouse metaphor for ignored warnings • Connection misunderstood until laughter or joy appears, but disconnection returns easily • Emotional vs. logical partner dynamics; "double Tom" (logic) vs. "double Dan" (emotion) struggles • Pursuer–withdrawer pattern: one chases, one retreats; substances as withdrawal metaphor • Therapy works within temperament, not personality change • Joking, dismissing, or passive-aggression block openness • Three key skills: act despite fear, be vulnerable, be assertive • Assertiveness ≠ aggression; contrast with passive and passive-aggressive styles • Humor as defense derailing intimacy; discomfort as barrier to openness • Feeling "seen and heard" as core unit of connection • Vulnerable moments often cut short when intensity feels overwhelming • Date nights valuable only if genuine, not superficial • Show up like first date: engaged, curious, listening, no phones • Curiosity fades over time; partners must ask deeper, specific, open-ended questions • Parenting tips (like "new dad" texts) adapted for spouse conversations • Starter prompts when partner seems uninteresting ("what's on your mind?") • Pretend partner is fascinating to rekindle interest • Overcoming sense new habits are fake; effort itself is authenticity • "I love you but not in love" cliché explained by loss of limerence vs. deeper fear • Limerence as neurochemical high (6–36 months); sustaining love requires practice • Social media myths fuel distorted comparisons • Homework: two 6-second kisses and one 20-second hug daily to boost bonding chemistry • Add 10–20 minutes of cuddling; touch prevents "roommate mode" • Non-sexual affection as glue; even robotic rituals build bonding chemistry • Skin-to-skin like newborn bonding; daily 20 minutes of touch and conversation • Sit together without phones; acknowledge awkwardness; talk authentically • Reminder: people often ask strangers more questions than spouses • Phones as top relationship killer • Promotion of Colette Fehr's upcoming book The Cost of Quiet (Feb 3 release) expanding on TEDx talk Secrets of a Couple's Therapist • Plan to revisit homework and connection progress in next episode • Wrap-up of first "Love Thy Neighbor" and preview of future topics ### **Social Media:**   [Website](https://tomanddan.com/) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) | [Facebook](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) | [Instagram](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) **Where to Find the Show:**   [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/) **The Tom & Dan Radio Show on Real Radio 104.1:**   [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/) **Exclusive Content:** [Join BDM](https://tomanddan.com/registration) **Merch:** [Shop Tom & Dan](https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/)

Love Thy Neighbor is a straight-talk relationship show from Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and licensed therapist Colette J. Fehr - born the day Colette knocked on their door and they realized they were literal next-door neighbors. Together they bring 50 years of broadcasting (Dan 30, Tom 20) and 15 years of clinical counseling (Colette), plus real-life reps: Tom's 20-year marriage, Dan's 15-year marriage, and Colette's second, thriving chapter. Expect humor, empathy, and practical advice from both sides of the wall. New episodes every Thursday, wherever you get your podcasts.