PODCAST · kids
Mum As You Are
by Erin Bowe
Mum as you are is a place for self-compassionate reflection to use what you have within you, right now as you are, perfectly imperfect to find your way through motherhood. I’m Dr Erin Bowe, Clinical & Perinatal Psychologist, Author of More Than a Healthy Baby, course creator and mum of two. This is my second podcast – welcome if you have followed me over from my birth trauma work. This current podcast offering is bite sized, unfancy and unplanned. A roadmap for finding your way back to self-compassion and how to replace numbing and escapism with true, meaningful fun.
Episodes
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80 Feel like you're not doing alone time properly?
You find an hour to yourself. A moment you’ve potentially been anticipating for weeks. What do you do? You fantasize about what you *could* do - book a massage? see a friend? read a book? Then the moment comes. Is this excitement or anxiety in your body? Is this feeling calm or am I just frozen?...
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79 psychologist recommended books for mums June/July
*NB this episode is available on YouTube if you want to follow along with the visuals Life in the Five Senses, Gretchen Rubin https://amzn.to/3qjroyI Feeding the Soul (Because it’s my Business), Tabitha Brown https://amzn.to/439h0Zd The Art of Growing up, John Marsden and Take Risks, John Marsden...
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78 should you get up earlier?
Getting up at dawn to journal, exercise and smash goals might work well for well-rested people. But what if you're not yet a member of the well-rested Mum's club? Is getting up earlier the answer? Social Media Detox for Mums Amazon Australia More than a healthy baby: finding strength and...
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77 How to winter in difficult times
Wintering doesn’t have to occur in the physical season of winter. It can represent a time in life that’s challenging and depleting. A time when your soul needs to rest and pull back. Today I share 4 lessons I've learned in wintering This book might also be helpful: Wintering: The Art of Rest in...
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76 Anxiety Tools to Steal from your Kids 🦸♀️
Some of the best anxiety tools around are ones that people often assume are just for kids. I'll share with you a few fun, playful tools to introduce or re-introduce into your stress and self-care practise. I recently learned about a tool called Calm Strips. I haven’t tried them yet, and not...
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75 When it feels like everything you do is wrong
Like pretty much every mum I know, I have too many tabs in my brain open: when did I last worm the dogs? How am I going to find time to go to the dentist? Does my youngest have allergies? Is it bad that I stopped taking my kids to swimming lessons? Is every choice I make as a mum somehow always...
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74 Hate playing? Listen to this
One of the dirty secrets of parenting that not too many mums seem willing to talk about is that sometimes parents don’t enjoy playing with their children. Or maybe they never enjoy playing and would go so far as to say they hate it. There’s a few reasons for this, and with a few tweaks the…
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73 Coping with scary thoughts as a new parent
Something like 90% of new parents will have intrusive, scary thoughts. I'll explain what they are about, how to cope with them and a bit about what situations are expected or 'normal' and what situations would be considered problematic or a psychiatric emergency. Social Media Detox for Mums now…
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72 Can birth debriefs make trauma worse?
Following on from last week's episode about EMDR for birth trauma I thought it would be useful to delve into birth debriefs. They've become popular, and I do offer them myself but are their practice standards? What does the research say? And, in what circumstances could they make trauma symptoms...
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71 EMDR for birth trauma
In this episode, I explain as best I can in lay language what EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) is and how it can help process past and future births. This type of therapy is intense but it tends to work faster than exposure therapy or CBT based techniques. You can read the...
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70 Which of your 5 senses are you neglecting? AND how does this relate to trauma?
Four times a second your nervous system will ask "Am I SAFE?" We can find a lot of relief by using practical tools that appeal directly to our 5 senses. If I asked you - which sense do you think you've been neglecting lately? What might your answer be? Luckily, one of my favourite writers…
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69 What to do while waiting for therapy
Recently I was reading a book and came across some useful ideas for what to do while you're waiting for therapy or in between appointments. Usually when someone books an appointment there's been a big wave of emotions. Sometimes the emotions subside a bit while life gets in the way, sometimes we...
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68 Five steps to quit social media
If you want to pause or quit social media it's usually not as simple as just going cold turkey. This is what I wish I knew before I started my social media detox. some practical, measurable steps that will help get you that meaningful change you're looking for. You can find the handy guide to the...
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67 The science of judging part 2
This is the second part of a conversation about the science of why parents judge each other. What happens when we attribute fault to someone else based on their character (e.g, they are an idiot), but we assume people will give US the benefit of the doubt when we have our own crisis? Social Media...
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66 The 84 year old feminist book you need to read this Easter
Today I'm sharing one of my favourite Easter books that is such a surprise and a delight. A book written 84 years ago by a white man from the deep south of the USA. Life is full of surprises. The Country Bunny and the Little Gold Shoes by Du Bose Heyward is a book that teaches children that you…
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65 The science of judging part 1
There is research evidence suggesting that women are judged more harshly for their decisions than men. In The gift of imperfect parenting, Brene Brown says we judge each other so harshly because most of us feel like we are barely holding on. We are afraid of making mistakes, so we perceive anyone...
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64 A mindfulness check in from meet me at mikes
I've been following this blog for years. I tool I've taken from Pip is the idea of taking stock. I like to recommend it because rather than sitting down and getting all stressed about goals you may or may not have met, you just take a quiet few moments to jot down where you’re at and what you’re...
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63 Finding fun in the monotony of motherhood
We're told to prioritize self-care, but do we ever really hear about prioritizing fun? I'll share some lessons I've been learning in how to make motherhood more fun Catherine Price also has a book on the topic called The Power of Fun: Why Fun is the Key to a Happy and Fulfilling Life....
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62 five habits that are making your motherhood miserable
When I look back on my early mothering, I'm often wondering "what would I do differently? What was making me miserable then that I now have clarity on?" I came up with 5 things. Want to be a course tester? Want to be a tester for my brand new 21 day social media detox course? You can try it for...
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61 That Time I was Screamed at Over a Muffin
If you've struggled with motivation and trying to change a behaviour maybe consider that laziness and willpower have nothing to do with it. Maybe you've been trying to make a style of motivation fit when it's a total mismatch to your personality? Today I'll share a tip that has really helped me...
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60 Scrolling and controlling anxiety
This week I jumped to hit record after a client and I pulled out some good nuggets about control. Often, when we automatically go to scroll, we’re not really there for the content (the things we watch, read and listen to). We’re there for the process and the associated feeling (numbing and...
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59 How I get out of the black hole
This is the one I recorded then deleted three times. Then I recorded it, but decided I didn’t want to publish. I went ahead and wrote a few other posts instead, and look, it would be absolutely fine if I never shared it with the world. But then it nagged at me. In reading The Tools by Phil Stutz...
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58 The antidote to scrolling addiction - monotasking
Today I share a little peak inside the 21 day social media detox course I'm working on. This activity will challenge you to try monotasking - listening to an album from beginning to end WITHOUT doing anything else at the same time. Just listening, not judging, just noticing. When I fist tried…
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57 Social Media Detox for Mums summary
I attempt to summarize my new book, social media detox for mums in less than 10 minutes. A brief overview of what you can expect to find in the chapters and what I hope will be the major takeaways from this book. Pre orders for my new book, Social Media Detox for Mums is open! Booktopia (21% off)...
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56 Books for slow, mindful mothering
I take you through a handful of the books that have impacted me in some way along this motherhood journey. Most are not even parenting books per se - there were so many I could include, but ultimately I chose ones that inform my work and philosophy on life, and even a few that have pictures. Show...
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55 How to work with kids around
When getting up earlier, staying up later, or working when kids nap isn't an option... I'm currently home with my kids for school holidays, but I've still got work to get done (I've got a book coming out afterall!). In this episode I share a little about how I've gotten things done while the kids...
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54 Five ways to cope with overstimulation
5 tools to cope with overstimulation. Brene Brown says we cannot selectively numb, and yet we still try it out multiple times a day. Even an amoeba in a petri dish will move away to avoid a toxin. We all avoid feeling pain. When we pick up our phones for a quick check or a quick scroll, it’s…
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53 Tools to stay in your body over the holidays
Staying in your body and feeling grounded when you're stressed is hard! My gift to you over this holiday season is some tools to stay grounded and keep your nervous system supported. This particular episode makes more sense with the visuals, so head to my YouTube channel if you want to see me...
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52 A Tool to Help With Mum Rage
Is it true that when you heal the trauma you stop some of your trauma reactions? Not necessarily! Sometimes, in addition to managing stress and dealing with out traumas, we need pattern interrupters. AKA tools to help undo some automatic behaviours. Maybe you come from a family of yellers and…
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51 Feeling Like You're Failing? Try This
A tool to use when you're having one of those days (or many of those days!) where you just feel like you're failing at motherhood. Feeling capable and confident is a practise! Pre orders for my new book, Social Media Detox for Mums is open! Booktopia (21% off) Angus & Robertson (20% off) Amazon...
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50 cruel optimism
Instagram can be a positive experience, no doubt. However, it's also a breeding ground for toxic positivity and a cultural phenomenon that's maybe best described as cruel optimism. Today I'll explain where we blur the boundaries between Positive Psychology (a really useful, evidence based and...
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49 Five Tools from Hypnobirthing I still use🖐️
My girls have their birthdays 2 days apart so this is the time of the year I think back to their births 5 and 7 years ago. Even though I’m done with babies, I absolutely still use some of the techniques I learned and taught in Hypnobirthing. I used one of them just the other day. I thought it…
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48 Busyness and Parental Burnout
This week I reflect on busyness and its relationship with parental (or any other kind) burnout I'll discuss: Why people look at me funny whenever I'm asked if work is "busy" and I say "No!" My history with associating being busy with being safe - family patterns, coping with school bullying, work...
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47 do you really have ADHD or is it pandemic burnout?
In this episode I'll spend some time reflecting on an observation I've really noticed in the last 12 months - that more and more women are talking about being diagnosed with ADHD. I'll cover: How we can reflect on - what is parental burnout and/or anxiety, depression and trauma from the pandemic,...
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46 social media & mental health for Mums
This week I reflect on how social media impact the maintenance stage of mental health I wonder how many mums go to therapy or coaching for one hour a week. In that one hour, they work on strategies to feel better. But then, within an hour they are on Instagram scrolling for 20-plus hours before...
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45 when to use distraction and when to feel your feelings?
This week I explain something that's the bread and butter of most types of therapies - when should you actually feel and process your feelings and when should you use a tool (like distraction) to just manage in the moment? I'll cover: What is 'urge surfing'? When does distraction NOT work very...
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44 Pay attention to these 4 stressors before you pick up your phone
Today I share an acronym that's used in addiction recovery and why I think it's a helpful prompt to put as a visual on the lock screen of your phone. I'll cover: Noticing what your body is telling you about internal stress cues It's human to want to distract or get rid of pain Reflecting on your...
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43 when to rest and when to push
This week I reflect back on how much early motherhood takes out of us, and how it can be so hard to figure out when to keep going and when to rest How the first 5 years of parenting often coincides with the first 5 years of a new business for many mums. Working on your business versus working on...
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42 why can't I be the mum I want to be?
In this episode, I talk about shame, should-ing all over yourself and the stuff that stops us from being the Mum we want to be I talk briefly about: How shame doesn't change behaviour An acronym to reflect on how shame feels What happens when you open your mouth and your mother/grandmother comes...
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41 If you're still feeling overwhelmed, listen to this
I've been noticing myself and other people using the word "still" quite frequently. As in "still" tired, "still" overwhelmed. As if we somehow have an internalized belief that we shouldn't be feeling this way. Rather than judging ourselves, I wonder what would happen if we stopped adding the word...
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40 How I Wrote a Book While Jiggling a Baby in a Carrier
I'm often asked how on earth I managed to write and publish my first book when I still had a baby and a 2 year old. Today, I'll take you through my messy mother's writer's routine and how I wrote More Than a Healthy Baby: Finding Strength and Growth After Birth Trauma. This was a book that just…
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39 why Decluttering is Like Mini Therapy
If you struggle to practice self-compassion, know you're not alone! In this episode I talk about: Why telling Mums "don't worry about the mess!" can be invalidating How buying my kids stuff from Kmart to get a dopamine hit through lockdowns was OK. How it's also OK to move that stuff along now,...
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38 Ten things to slow down mum life
10 things to help slow down life. Some of these things are mental health specific tips, others are things I'd write in a letter to 'past Me'. Lessons, things I wish I did differently. As always, these are not rules or things one must live by! It will be different for everyone. These are just…
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37 Five handy mental health tools for Mums
Today I'll teach you a great tool for remembering 5 easy mental health tools. Things you can count on when you're overwhelmed or stressed. I've used this in therapy for years, and when I used to teach hypnobirthing this was probably the most popular and useful tool I taught birth partners!
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36 What We Do in the Shadows
Should we be just 'be positive?' Or is there space to normalise and talk about secret, shameful, hidden behaviours? Many of us have been indoctrinated into an idea that engaging with shadow is not something 'nice girls' are supposed to do. There are also massive fears for Mums who have negative...
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35 Quick Nervous System Reset
A super quick, easy technique to reset your nervous system. Directed eye movements to calm the vagus nerve. Note, you can be lying down or seated for this, but not driving!
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34 the movie I'd love you to watch
Black mothers in the Bronx are still 12 times more likely to die in childbirth than white women For more information about the film, visit: https://www.aftershockdocumentary.com My interview with Bruce McIntyre Save a Rose foundation My book: More Than a Healthy Baby: Finding strength and growth...
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33 Can't Relax When You Ditch Your Phone? It's Not Your Fault
So you've tried using your phone less and you're left antsy, fidgety and generally not feeling as calm as you tell yourself you should? You're not alone! While the idea of using your phone less is a good one, it's still a huge change and there's not enough conversation around what happens to your...
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32 Wellness Fatigue and the American Psycho Test
Beating yourself up for not drinking 2 liters of water a day, doing yoga every morning, journaling for 30 minutes, making green smoothies with $40 lettuces, intermittent fasting, knowing if you should be doing HITT or lifting weights, never sitting down unless you’re meditating…? It’s all a bit...
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31 The Void Between Distraction & Rest
So many of us are spending our days switching between distraction and rest. Where is the middle? Without a 'middle state' (positive goals and finding a flow state) we will just drift back to distraction again and again and again. We seek escape from distraction by crashing. We cope with a day of...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
Mum as you are is a place for self-compassionate reflection to use what you have within you, right now as you are, perfectly imperfect to find your way through motherhood. I’m Dr Erin Bowe, Clinical & Perinatal Psychologist, Author of More Than a Healthy Baby, course creator and mum of two. This is my second podcast – welcome if you have followed me over from my birth trauma work. This current podcast offering is bite sized, unfancy and unplanned. A roadmap for finding your way back to self-compassion and how to replace numbing and escapism with true, meaningful fun.
HOSTED BY
Erin Bowe
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does Mum As You Are have?
Mum As You Are currently has 80 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is Mum As You Are about?
Mum as you are is a place for self-compassionate reflection to use what you have within you, right now as you are, perfectly imperfect to find your way through motherhood. I’m Dr Erin Bowe, Clinical & Perinatal Psychologist, Author of More Than a Healthy Baby, course creator and mum of two. This is...
How often does Mum As You Are release new episodes?
Mum As You Are has 80 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to Mum As You Are?
You can listen to Mum As You Are on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts Mum As You Are?
Mum As You Are is created and hosted by Erin Bowe.
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