The Battery Operated Magic Toupee - The Podcast

Welcome to season 3 of The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee, which is interrupted by a strike of ‘The Talent’ (which is ironically referred to as ‘The Talent’) and the strike is interrupted by a gay trouser incident instigated by the gayest gay trousers in the universe.

What is more ridiculous and ten times stupider than the coming local elections in the United Kingdom? Answer: A special remastered and expanded rerun of The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee Election Special from season 1.We feature party political messages from The F**cking Embarrassing Party, The New Woke NAZI Paty, The Pity Party all the parties that no one in the right mind should vote for (but you can) as well the secret behind the Thatcher’s government inner circle..

As we wrap the second season and approach the upcoming third series of The Battery Operated Magic Toupee – The Podcast, we look back at some of the best of the worst of the best… OR the worst of the best of the worst of Series 2 - part two,i ncluding deleted sketches, weird moments, and the kind of chaotic comedy you never knew you needed.This episode is your backstage pass to the madness—complete with uncensored outtakes, absurd characters, fart-powered inventions, and surreal storytelling.If you’re into:funny British podcastsdark comedy with a twistirreverent humour and absurd sketchesweird podcasts that actually make sense (sometimes)comedy podcasts like No Such Thing As A Fish or The Bugle…then this recap of Season 2 is your perfect entry point (or a great reminder of why you’ve been sticking around for the madness).If you love dark humor podcasts like The Dollop, Small Town Murder, or The Last Podcast on the Left, you’ll feel right at home here.Each episode explores:Absurdist skits and fake TV broadcastsBizarre multiverse cultures and offensive takes on current eventsSatirical reporting on politics, pop culture, and the downright ridiculousNo topic is too sacred. No joke is off-limits.It’s not just comedy—it’s chaos, carefully curated for fans who appreciate the art of inappropriate humor.🔥 Perfect for listeners who enjoy:Dark comedy podcastsOffensive humorSatirical shows and fake news parodiesAdult comedy content without filters🎧 Subscribe now and join the cult of The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee—because the world is already insane, we just make it funnier.#DarkComedyPodcast #OffensiveHumor #AbsurdistSatire #ComedyForAdults #TheBatteryOperatedMagicToupee #UncensoredComedy #SatiricalPodcast #FakeNewsComedy #ComedySketchPodcast #PodcastForTwistedMinds

As we wrap the second season and approach the upcoming third series of The Battery Operated Magic Toupee – The Podcast, we look back at some of the best of the worst of the best… OR the worst of the best of the worst of Series 2 including deleted sketches, weird moments, and the kind of chaotic comedy you never knew you needed.This episode is your backstage pass to the madness—complete with uncensored outtakes, absurd characters, fart-powered inventions, and surreal storytelling.If you’re into:funny British podcastsdark comedy with a twistirreverent humour and absurd sketchesweird podcasts that actually make sense (sometimes)comedy podcasts like No Such Thing As A Fish or The Bugle…then this recap of Season 2 is your perfect entry point (or a great reminder of why you’ve been sticking around for the madness).If you love dark humor podcasts like The Dollop, Small Town Murder, or The Last Podcast on the Left, you’ll feel right at home here.Each episode explores:Absurdist skits and fake TV broadcastsBizarre multiverse cultures and offensive takes on current eventsSatirical reporting on politics, pop culture, and the downright ridiculousNo topic is too sacred. No joke is off-limits.It’s not just comedy—it’s chaos, carefully curated for fans who appreciate the art of inappropriate humor.🔥 Perfect for listeners who enjoy:Dark comedy podcastsOffensive humorSatirical shows and fake news parodiesAdult comedy content without filters🎧 Subscribe now and join the cult of The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee—because the world is already insane, we just make it funnier.#DarkComedyPodcast #OffensiveHumor #AbsurdistSatire #ComedyForAdults #TheBatteryOperatedMagicToupee #UncensoredComedy #SatiricalPodcast #FakeNewsComedy #ComedySketchPodcast #PodcastForTwistedMinds

The producers (actually the 2nd rate hacks) proudly (actually with great embarrassment) present a special (not special - it was just lying around and we used it) remastered (we fixed some major flaws) of Season one's (we should have ended the show with season 1) finalle: “The Case Of The Exploding Enema Bag - A Sid Bunyons Mystery”

A preview of the upcoming season of the Lowest CommonDenominator Network, including the dramatic premier of the ground-breaking feature film " Diseases and Maladies of the Anus", The Royal Shakespeare company RSC is ordered by the courtsto recognise talent, inflicted with no talent, be a protected class.   Thrill to the western drama of Hank Perve and his trustystallion Rusty 'T'- the cowboy who loved his horse... just a little too much.

If you suffer from Lobsters in your underpants – this penultimate episode of  season 2 may be the mostimportant and urgent thing you may hear this decade… maybe even this century… or at least the next 30 seconds.  You can catch up with the latest episode of the world renown,not known anywhere, Dr Bradford Bottemley – Proctologist, the man with the golden finger and witness the perfect stool (we mean the not pleasant type of stool, not the one you sit on.  If you attempt to sit on this type of stool - you will ruin your trousers).

This special edition trip through the BOMT archieves features the original comedy shorts and promos that were originally aired as the build up to the series.

Our New Years Eve Special (lets be honest about this - there is one New years Eve sketch). Premiering on this episode, the long awaited sequel to a beloved classic, over 450 years in the making: Romeo and Juliet 2: - THe Day After."

In our final new Christmas episode, we end the year with aspecial helping of warped festival stuff for our loyal Bat-Op-Mag-Toupers…  Discover the secrets of Flinging Excrement for Christmas, Shed a tear for Rudolf Is Dead and discover the exciting (maybe not exciting)  Christmas Programming On TheLowest Common Denominator Network which includes new episodes of “North pole General Hospital”, the dark side of Xmas with “Underworld Santa” and a preview ofthe 9 ½ hour director's cut of Igmat Bratman’s “I SANTA”.  And – a happy holiday from all us at The Battery Operated magic Toupee – The Podcast.  Our wishes for the best new year ahead.

As a special festive treat, we’ve remastered and updatedsome new stuff to our popular second Christmas episode from last year. Featuring our epic presentation (ok 9 minutes long but it’s epic for us) episode of "The Twitlike Zone: Jerry’s Foreskin for Christmas". Seriously – we had fun doing this one and hope you enjoy it.

Our first of two-brand new Christmas specials for our loyal(and un- loyal) Bat-Op-Mag-Toupers…  In this episode: witness the ultimate solution to crappy Family Christmas Dinners! Be enchanted by the story of “Doris theDungbeetle’s Christmas Tree” and transform the entire holiday season with the all new (and mildly offensive) “Jew In A Can”.The Battery Operated Magic Toupee is the ONLY way to begin the holiday!

As a special holiday treat – we’ve remastered the first of last year’s holiday specials and added a few new surprises for this repeat episode. Cringe at “The Adventures of Intellectual Shopping Mall Santa”, save loads of money and prove what a miser you are with “Mean Morty’s Christmas Tips” and the repackaging of the Jewish holiday with “Sexing Up Chanukah”.

We have an exciting, scatologically packed, episode for allyou Bat- Op-Mag-Toupers… On this week’s dropping (as in animal droppings) of The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee – The Podcast asks the unaskable question, “DoYou Want To Do ‘IT’ With Greta Thunberg (the answer still has the production staff shivering in revulsion). After another charming adventure of every child’s favourite tale “The Continuing Adventures Of Doris The Dung Beetle”, and witness the awe of The Ultimate Interview!

In this week’s penetrating episode (we chose the word penetrating on purpose… suggests sexual stuff) – We offer the ultimate solution to brats and misfits with “Post Abortion”, and learn the art of lazy comedy in “ Fuckbisquets Macdoogal’s Lazy Comedy School” and after dining at “Canabal Café” experience another uninspired episode of Inspired Business Now.”

Halloween – the Battery-Operated Magic Toupee wanted to personally transverse the multiverse and wish every individual in existence, both past, present, and future and those existing in higher planes of existence a Happy Halloween. It intended to create a display of Halloween cheer using over three trillion holographic generators linked to one another with spectacular super-mega AI generated images of the classic monsters: The Frankenstein Monster, Dracula, The Mummy and the Wolfman all participating in an orgy of obscene and unthinkable horror. It would generate this terrifying obscenity in ultra-mega-super 50K images across the skies of all the planets in all the known galaxies, thus creating the most spectacular Halloween display in the history of the universe.As the Battery-Operated Magic Toupee was about accomplish this extraordinary feat, it said to itself: “F#ck ‘em! No-one in the universe is listening my podcast so they can all shove Halloween up their black hole. Important note: ‘Black Hole’ is not meant as an inappropriate racial remark… we mean black holes as in the collapse of massive stars that planets revolve about. It is these kinds of misunderstandings that has The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee be hated and cancelled across the multiverse.If you all behave yourselves and listen the podcast, the Battery-Operated Magic Toupee MIGHT do this next year.Happy Halloween. If you’ve been scrolling through the endless sea of “funny comedy” and “comedy podcast” recommendations and still haven’t found the perfect mix of chaos, laughter, and unfiltered truth… congratulations — you just found it.Welcome to the best adult comedy podcast where dark humor meets uncomfortable truths, and everyone secretly loves it. This is the space where sarcasm isn’t just allowed… it’s celebrated. Our episodes are crafted for the bold, the unbothered, and the people who know how to laugh at life’s messiest moments.We get it — not everyone can handle what we say out loud. That’s why we give you two versions: a censored version on YouTube and Spotify, perfect for your “safe-for-work” moments, and an uncensored VIP experience on ⁠Patreon⁠ — because some jokes are just too real for the algorithm.Each episode dives into everyday adult experiences, turning them into raw, relatable comedy that makes you laugh, gasp, and whisper, “Did they really just say that?” Whether it’s relationships, work struggles, or the weird little things nobody talks about — we say it all.If you’re hunting for the best adult podcast that’s equal parts funny, inappropriate, and uncomfortably real, this is your new favorite corner of the internet. Put your headphones on (seriously, do it), grab a drink, and let’s get into the kind of comedy your neighbors would pretend not to laugh at.Related- funny comedy • comedy podcast • best adult podcast • adult comedy episodes • dark humor • uncensored podcast • adult jokes • relatable comedy

To celebrate Halloween, BOMT visited Planet Vampire, a dead world with no life.One theory behind this dead planet is that it was a planet of Vampires which only had vampires and no people.  All the vampires did was attack and drink the blood of fellow vampires while defending themselves from other vampires by driving stakes through other vampires hearts.That was it – drinking blood from one another and staking one another and it is rumoured that this carried on till the last vampire standing.One fact that many overlook is Planet Vampire is surrounded by three suns and has 36 hours a day sunlight and zero hours night.  Since vampires cannot exist during the day, there could never had been a planet inhabited by vampires.The truth of planet Vampire is that the original name was “Planetis Vampireis” which means, in the dead tongue ofthe ancient civilization of “Wankatoope, “Dead shithole of a planet that no one live on because it is a shithole of a planet.”The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee - the Podcast wanted to wish listeners a Happy Halloween in the tongue of thenative vampires of Planet Vampires but, since there wasn’t actually a vampire civilization and, therefore, a vampire language… we will instead wish you Happy Halloween in the language of neighbouring planet “Planet Confronted Arsehole: “Screw you and shove your Halloween up your $%^&*.”If you’ve been scrolling through the endless sea of “funny comedy” and “comedy podcast” recommendations and still haven’t found the perfect mix of chaos, laughter, and unfiltered truth… congratulations — you just found it.Welcome to the best adult comedy podcast where dark humor meets uncomfortable truths, and everyone secretly loves it. This is the space where sarcasm isn’t just allowed… it’s celebrated. Our episodes are crafted for the bold, the unbothered, and the people who know how to laugh at life’s messiest moments.We get it — not everyone can handle what we say out loud. That’s why we give you two versions: a censored version on YouTube and Spotify, perfect for your “safe-for-work” moments, and an uncensored VIP experience on ⁠Patreon⁠ — because some jokes are just too real for the algorithm.Each episode dives into everyday adult experiences, turning them into raw, relatable comedy that makes you laugh, gasp, and whisper, “Did they really just say that?” Whether it’s relationships, work struggles, or the weird little things nobody talks about — we say it all.If you’re hunting for the best adult podcast that’s equal parts funny, inappropriate, and uncomfortably real, this is your new favorite corner of the internet. Put your headphones on (seriously, do it), grab a drink, and let’s get into the kind of comedy your neighbors would pretend not to laugh at.Related- funny comedy • comedy podcast • best adult podcast • adult comedy episodes • dark humor • uncensored podcast • adult jokes • relatable comedyfunny Halloween podcastHalloween comedydark humor podcastadult jokescomedy podcast Halloween specialspooky podcastHalloween humor for adultsuncensored comedy podcast

In this episode The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee landed on planet A PLANET, a desperate planet where they just ran out of ideas and A PLANET was the best name they could come up with for their planet.A PLANET was once the hive of wit and creativity in the galaxy, the centre of sophistication - now it reuses the same tire shite over and over. The last original joke on the planet was written over 400 years ago and was repeated for the 400,000 time on the Funny Laughter Show – the latest comedy with a title that the greatest comedy minds on A Planet brainstormed for weeks.Creativity and art have died such to the extent that the writers of this episode could only end this synopsis with “… And the Battery-Operated Magic Toupee left and went elsewhere. “This was the best ending they could come up with.If you’ve been scrolling through the endless sea of “funny comedy” and “comedy podcast” recommendations and still haven’t found the perfect mix of chaos, laughter, and unfiltered truth… congratulations — you just found it.Welcome to the best adult comedy podcast where dark humor meets uncomfortable truths, and everyone secretly loves it. This is the space where sarcasm isn’t just allowed… it’s celebrated. Our episodes are crafted for the bold, the unbothered, and the people who know how to laugh at life’s messiest moments.We get it — not everyone can handle what we say out loud. That’s why we give you two versions: a censored version on YouTube and Spotify, perfect for your “safe-for-work” moments, and an uncensored VIP experience on ⁠Patreon⁠ — because some jokes are just too real for the algorithm.Each episode dives into everyday adult experiences, turning them into raw, relatable comedy that makes you laugh, gasp, and whisper, “Did they really just say that?” Whether it’s relationships, work struggles, or the weird little things nobody talks about — we say it all.If you’re hunting for the best adult podcast that’s equal parts funny, inappropriate, and uncomfortably real, this is your new favorite corner of the internet. Put your headphones on (seriously, do it), grab a drink, and let’s get into the kind of comedy your neighbors would pretend not to laugh at.Related- funny comedy • comedy podcast • best adult podcast • adult comedy episodes • dark humor • uncensored podcast • adult jokes • relatable comedy

The battery-operated magic toupee landed on the planet Switcheroo, A planet where no one was happy or satisfied with the way they were and identified with things they weren’t. No-one knew where they were going as south transitioned north and north transitioned east. Rich people identified as the common man while the working man transitioned to be rich. Women switched to men, Men swapped to women, dogs were cats and cats were dogs, hamsters transitioned to elephants and confused pachyderms painfully transitioned to hamsters and politicians stopped lying. After vegetarians became meat eaters, minimalists crowded their houses with more crap than they could want and pacifists went on violent streaks of beating the shit out of people.The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee transitioned to something normal and the Battery-Operated Magic Toupee – the podcast transitioned to a tasteful classy entertainment for the family.If you’ve been scrolling through the endless sea of “funny comedy” and “comedy podcast” recommendations and still haven’t found the perfect mix of chaos, laughter, and unfiltered truth… congratulations — you just found it.Welcome to the best adult comedy podcast where dark humor meets uncomfortable truths, and everyone secretly loves it. This is the space where sarcasm isn’t just allowed… it’s celebrated. Our episodes are crafted for the bold, the unbothered, and the people who know how to laugh at life’s messiest moments.We get it — not everyone can handle what we say out loud. That’s why we give you two versions: a censored version on YouTube and Spotify, perfect for your “safe-for-work” moments, and an uncensored VIP experience on ⁠Patreon⁠ — because some jokes are just too real for the algorithm.Each episode dives into everyday adult experiences, turning them into raw, relatable comedy that makes you laugh, gasp, and whisper, “Did they really just say that?” Whether it’s relationships, work struggles, or the weird little things nobody talks about — we say it all.If you’re hunting for the best adult podcast that’s equal parts funny, inappropriate, and uncomfortably real, this is your new favorite corner of the internet. Put your headphones on (seriously, do it), grab a drink, and let’s get into the kind of comedy your neighbors would pretend not to laugh at.Related- funny comedy • comedy podcast • best adult podcast • adult comedy episodes • dark humor • uncensored podcast • adult jokes • relatable comedy

In this episode BOMT landed on the Dickofa Barnyard’s sister planet: Animatude – a world of animals with too much attitude… lets be blunt and not mince words: the animals are RIGHT assholes! TOO MUCH F-CKING ATTITUDE!These are not the cute innocent creatures of Earth!Cats covertly jump on you and say, “Admire me bitch! I want you to fucking worship me and tell me how great I look. I'm now going to arch my back, raise my tail, and show you my one eye and don't even pretend to be uncomfortable or disgusted while I do it. Just admire my arse!” It's a planet where dogs deliberately crap everywhere they choose and command “Pick it up human slave” or they bury it in the sand and laugh their doggie tits off while you step in it.Birds wait in the trees, scouting their targets, and saying “C’mon you bald headed fuck. When you step out of the house, I'm gonna fly over and give you a white crusty right in the middle of the shiny spot. And don’t even try covering up the target with a hat chrome-dome!”It’s a planet of creatures which are even bigger assholes than the Battery Operated Magic Toupee.If you’ve been scrolling through the endless sea of “funny comedy” and “comedy podcast” recommendations and still haven’t found the perfect mix of chaos, laughter, and unfiltered truth… congratulations — you just found it.Welcome to the best adult comedy podcast where dark humor meets uncomfortable truths, and everyone secretly loves it. This is the space where sarcasm isn’t just allowed… it’s celebrated. Our episodes are crafted for the bold, the unbothered, and the people who know how to laugh at life’s messiest moments.We get it — not everyone can handle what we say out loud. That’s why we give you two versions: a censored version on YouTube and Spotify, perfect for your “safe-for-work” moments, and an uncensored VIP experience on Patreon — because some jokes are just too real for the algorithm.Each episode dives into everyday adult experiences, turning them into raw, relatable comedy that makes you laugh, gasp, and whisper, “Did they really just say that?” Whether it’s relationships, work struggles, or the weird little things nobody talks about — we say it all.If you’re hunting for the best adult podcast that’s equal parts funny, inappropriate, and uncomfortably real, this is your new favorite corner of the internet. Put your headphones on (seriously, do it), grab a drink, and let’s get into the kind of comedy your neighbors would pretend not to laugh at.Related- funny comedy • comedy podcast • best adult podcast • adult comedy episodes • dark humor • uncensored podcast • adult jokes • relatable comedy

The Battery Operated Magic Toupee remained on Planet Biff Glickman Is A Twat.The whole purpose of this planet was to have the fact that Biff Glickman is a twat live in memoriam long after Biff Glickman and knowledge of his twattiness passed from memory. Scientists have debated whether Biff Glickman was a twat or just a bit of a dick? Or if he was a twat, was Biff Glickman a colossal twat or just a little bit of a twat? Originally, the planet was going to be named “Biff Glickman is a colossal douche” however people thought it could be confused with planet Timmy Greenblatt is a douchebag. The reason douche may have been more appropriate is Biff Glickman enjoyed swirling vinegar in his mouth, climbing into a small dark area, and spitting the vinegar out, thus literally identifying as a giant douche. It's been thousands of years since Biff Glickman existed and we can only speculate and celebrate the colossal twat that birthed an entire planet. Could the Battery-Operated Magic Toupee FINALLY have found a home? No – The creators of BOMT are twats of such a magnitude that they don’t even fit in on Planet Biff Glickman Is A Twat.

The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee landed on the planet Biff Glickman Is A Twat.” – a planet discovered and inhabited purely out of spite.“Biff Glickman Is A Twat” was discovered over 1,200 years ago by Harry Schmidlabt. Harry was irritated by Biff Glickman. According to the planet’s one best seller “Why Biff Glickman Is A twat”, it was written: “Biff Glickman is a twat because he slept with my sister, farted in a container of yoghurt, and just generally acted like a colossal twat.”It is a planet without much planning other than just smearing the mediocre name of Biff Glickman. The local governmental bodies have gone bankrupt, taxes are at 98.2% of all income, vast stench clouds of unbelievable stink surround the planet and gangs of barnyard molesters are roaming the countryside inappropriately touching squirrels.This means that the people in charge of planet “Biff Glickman Is A Twat” are even bigger twats than Biff Glickman.And the makers of this episode of The Battery Operated Magic Toupee are even bigger twats than Biff Glickman.

The Battery Operated Magic Toupee landed on Dickofa Barnyard - a planet that would give Old McDonald a stroke and have him drop dead on his farm while whispering his dying words of “Ee- i ee- i fucking-o!”On a planet where the animals are nasty little shits andtalk, some of the cows on the farm moo, “Hey ya fucking perve, stop squeezing my milky teats!  Go squeeze your wife’s titties with those callous, cold hands You fucking filthy farmer!”The farmer also had insolent chicks on the farm that went,“Cluck-cluck, fuck you…  after I crap all over the farm, I’m coming in the house and pebbledash your living room withchickenshit. And keep your grubby hands off my eggs… they come out of MY poop pipe so I’ll eat them!”And McDonald’s pigs are all gone… they went to the Muslimand Jewish neighbourhoods to taunt the locals, Which animal is the biggest dick?  it’s hard to tell but may believe it to be the dog.The dogs on planet Dickofa Barnyard have a real attitude andcan be heard barking, “Throw me a bone! Muther-fucker, you want to throw me the bone?! You keep the fucking boneand I'll eat the Goddamn meat that’s on the bone.  And… If I want to hump your leg, I'll hump your goddamn leg and I don't care if you have to change your trousers when I'm done!  Now I’m going next door and 69 the poodle!”Warning – keep all animals out of the room while listeningto this latest episode.

After journeying from dimension to dimension and multiverse to multiverse, The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee was getting lonely. He wanted someone or something to share his life with.Actually, to be perfectly candid, The battery Operated Magic Toupee wanted to get laid hence it landed onPlookit Four: one of the best planets in the multiverse where one can easily log in to a website and immediately be matched up with either the perfect companion to spend one's life or just have a quickie.After entering its information under sex and gender (“?” and “??”), The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee went through the extensive questionnaire.It answered the question, “What is your plan for a romantic evening with a date?”The horny toupee replied, “ I would take my date to the waste pipes, at the lower end of the sewerage pond, where the dead fish accumulate. I would set up a table of crates and my lover and I would enjoy a colourful buffet of raw diseased fish carcasses and extra stinky rodent halibut. And at the end of a romantic evening – we would wash off any unusual barnacles and crustaceans and then go to the doctor and be examined for STDs (Stinky Terrible Diarrhoea).”As BOMT gets it off with its date – tune into this latest Battery Operated Magic Toupee – the Podcast and try to forget what the Battery Operated Magic Toupee is doing on its date and erase that image from your mind.

The Battery Operated Magic Toupee landed in the planet U-I-whatever. U-I-whatever is the planet of social media. It isn't the case that person-to-person interactions are just looked down… they are forbidden. A live conversation, in person, with another being is considered, in the words of the planet’s greatest intellect, “Eeeech… how fucking cringeworthy.”After an eight-hour live feed of sleep, including instances of unconscious mutterings and the occasional sleep farts, a typical day on U-I- begins with citizens waking up from their slumber and graciously say “thank you to all you wonderful people, I hope you enjoyed watching me sleep.” Ironically, or just due to poor social planning, no-one ever watches any of the 8 billion podcasts since every person is pooping out their own show 29/8 (there are 29 hours a day and 8 days a week on this planet – which makes life even more torturous),]The Battery Operated Magic Toupee just sat and watched it’s favourite channel, “The Doris Finklestein Having Her Evening Bowel Movement Podcast.” And now lets hear The Battery Operated Magic Toupee – the Podcast… while not as good as or on the same intellectyal level as we get to hear something, not as good as The Doris Finklestein Having Her Evening Bowel Movement Podcast”... it’s the only one we have.

The battery-operated magic toupee landed on the most egocentric planet in the galaxy. ME is a world of PURE self-indulgence and the only planet in the cosmos that demands, under penalty of cancellation, that its name, ME, is always written in capital letters and in bold and underlined.As soon as The Battery Operated Magic Toupee landed on ME launched it’s one battery-operated magic toupee show… which is similar to a one man show but with a battery operated magic toupee instead.The one Battery Operated Magic Toupee show, entitled “I Toupee” was part one of a five part trilogy. So far no-one on Planet ME or elsewhere has been able to make it to the end of this pretentious vanity snoozefest. In reviewing the theatrical ‘what-ever-the-fuck-it-is’, Ken Blench, critic for the ‘Egocentric Times’, wrote “… This review is in honour of the ten other critics who did not survive the first painful, agonizing, brain-damaging 15 minutes of this theatrical thing and ceremoniously committed suicide by taking their earplugs out and forcing themselves to listen to the battery-operated magic toupee's second soliloquy, which began, “Oh toupee, oh toupee, battery, battery, oh woe, woe is me, in my splendouristic multidimensional awesomeness.”And as our favourite Battery Operated Magic Toupee poses naked in a mirror and admires itself – we play the latest episode of the podcast.

(NOTE: We, the producers, apologize for this first episode of the new season transmitted from planet SorryArse). The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee visited the sorriest planet in the known universe. The planet SorryArse. SorryArse is the pitiful excuse for a planet masquerading as an apology of a rotating rock with people living on it. while dwelling on the planet Sorry-Arse, The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee had an opportunity to mull over its faecal-encrusted data that was season one of the the podcast. It confronted the non-stop stream of diarrhoea… (note to editor - it's critical that there are no pauses in the middle of this sentence otherwise you'll think we're referring to “stream of diarrhoea” instead of what we intend to say - “stream of diarrhoea JOKES”)As we were saying… The battery-Operated Magic Toupee mulled over the non-stop stream of diarrhoea jokes, poo gags, and farty sound effects. It regretfully pondered the lack of intelligence, the lack of sophistication, and the lack of something else it couldn’t can’t recall another word that describes what it should be mentioning here but we can't recall. While trapped in the self-pitying atmosphere of infectious regret, The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee broadcasted its’ mighty apologetic message to an unforgiving universe and promised to keep up the good work for the new season of the battery-operated magic toupee season .And now The Battery Operated Magic Toupee – season two, episode one… but first “Who's Sorry Now” by Patsy Cline. If you love dark humor podcasts like The Dollop, Small Town Murder, or The Last Podcast on the Left, you’ll feel right at home here.Each episode explores:Absurdist skits and fake TV broadcastsBizarre multiverse cultures and offensive takes on current eventsSatirical reporting on politics, pop culture, and the downright ridiculousNo topic is too sacred. No joke is off-limits.It’s not just comedy—it’s chaos, carefully curated for fans who appreciate the art of inappropriate humor.🔥 Perfect for listeners who enjoy:Dark comedy podcastsOffensive humorSatirical shows and fake news parodiesAdult comedy content without filters🎧 Subscribe now and join the cult of The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee—because the world is already insane, we just make it funnier.#DarkComedyPodcast #OffensiveHumor #AbsurdistSatire #ComedyForAdults #TheBatteryOperatedMagicToupee #UncensoredComedy #SatiricalPodcast #FakeNewsComedy #ComedySketchPodcast #PodcastForTwistedMinds

As we approach the second series of The Battery Operated Magic Toupee – The Podcast, we look back at some of the best of the worst of the best… OR the worst of the best of the worst of Series 1, including deleted sketches, weird moments, and the kind of chaotic comedy you never knew you needed.This episode is your backstage pass to the madness—complete with uncensored outtakes, absurd characters, fart-powered inventions, and surreal storytelling.If you’re into:funny British podcastsdark comedy with a twistirreverent humour and absurd sketchesweird podcasts that actually make sense (sometimes)comedy podcasts like No Such Thing As A Fish or The Bugle…then this recap of Season 1 is your perfect entry point (or a great reminder of why you’ve been sticking around for the madness).If you love dark humor podcasts like The Dollop, Small Town Murder, or The Last Podcast on the Left, you’ll feel right at home here.Each episode explores:Absurdist skits and fake TV broadcastsBizarre multiverse cultures and offensive takes on current eventsSatirical reporting on politics, pop culture, and the downright ridiculousNo topic is too sacred. No joke is off-limits.It’s not just comedy—it’s chaos, carefully curated for fans who appreciate the art of inappropriate humor.🔥 Perfect for listeners who enjoy:Dark comedy podcastsOffensive humorSatirical shows and fake news parodiesAdult comedy content without filters🎧 Subscribe now and join the cult of The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee—because the world is already insane, we just make it funnier.#DarkComedyPodcast #OffensiveHumor #AbsurdistSatire #ComedyForAdults #TheBatteryOperatedMagicToupee #UncensoredComedy #SatiricalPodcast #FakeNewsComedy #ComedySketchPodcast #PodcastForTwistedMinds

As we approach the second series of The Battery Operated Magic Toupee – The Podcast, we look back at some of t he best of the worst of the best OR the worst of the best of the worst of series 1, including some deleted sketches and odd and ends. This episode is your backstage pass to the madness—complete with uncensored outtakes, absurd characters, fart-powered inventions, and surreal storytelling.If you’re into:dark comedydark comedy with a twistirreverent humour and absurd sketchesdark humorAdult comedycomedy podcasts like No Such Thing As A Fish or The Bugle…then this recap of Season 1 is your perfect entry point (or a great reminder of why you’ve been sticking around for the madness).🔊 Tune in for laughs, confusion, andPart 1.If you love dark humor podcasts like The Dollop, Small Town Murder, or The Last Podcast on the Left, you’ll feel right at home here.Each episode explores:Absurdist skits and fake TV broadcastsBizarre multiverse cultures and offensive takes on current eventsSatirical reporting on politics, pop culture, and the downright ridiculousNo topic is too sacred. No joke is off-limits.It’s not just comedy—it’s chaos, carefully curated for fans who appreciate the art of inappropriate humor.🔥 Perfect for listeners who enjoy:Dark comedy podcastsOffensive humorSatirical shows and fake news parodiesAdult comedy content without filters🎧 Subscribe now and join the cult of The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee—because the world is already insane, we just make it funnier.#DarkComedyPodcast #OffensiveHumor #AbsurdistSatire #ComedyForAdults #TheBatteryOperatedMagicToupee #UncensoredComedy #SatiricalPodcast #FakeNewsComedy #ComedySketchPodcast #PodcastForTwistedMinds

A special encore episode of season 1 episode 10 - full uncut version as we await season 2. 🚨 Warning: No sacred cow was left unsnorted in this one.In this wildly unfiltered episode of The Battery Operated Magic Toupee – The Podcast, we grab the taboo by the horns and give it a firm comedic spanking. From sultry livestock fantasies to debunking the untouchable truths of modern life, we serve satire, sex, and sacredness all on the same twisted platter.🐄💋 If you've ever wondered what would happen if Monty Python, South Park, and Black Mirror had a chaotic group therapy session—this is it.Expect:Absurd comedy sketchesBold takes on sacred topics (yes, we went there)Sexy cows, confused farmers, and theological chaosWild adult humor with a twist of the philosophicalUncensored fun for brave ears only🎧 Whether you're into:Controversial comedy podcastsOutrageous British humourWeird podcast content that goes too far (in the best way)or just need a laugh that feels a little illegal…This is your new favorite episode.🔓 Listen now & unlock the unholy hilarity.🛑 Not suitable for vegans, clergy, or the overly sensible.

***PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO US FOR THE COMPLETE/ UNEDITED EPISODES*** ... and you can email us at: [email protected]. After a first season of artistically desolate and painful explorations of exploring new dimensions and bringing back artefacts of sheer stupidity, BOMT (The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee) staggers back to home port with smoking diodes, melting intelligence chips, and smeared faecal on its burnt memory sensors. With the threat of a season two looming, which will obviously be even worse than season one (if such a thing is possible), BOMT had enough. It urgently needed rest and repair and to have its core intelligence removed and soaked in a therapeutic mixture of stale moose piss and even staler Manduvian Dung whisky. While the brain was soaking, an archival remanent, originally mistaken for excretion (BOMT poo) floated through the toxic water and rose to the surface. The producers fished out this sad and sorry final episode and it discovered that it came from the most accurately named planet in the multiverse: Planet Completecrap.  The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee- The Podcast not so proudly presents the final episode of season one, the detective thriller: "The Case Of The Exploding Enema Bag - A Sid Bunyons Mystery”

***PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO US FOR THE COMPLETE/ UNEDITED EPISODES*** ...and you can email us at: [email protected]. On this special penultimate episode of season 1, BOMT stopped on the way to a galaxy that would have been amazing, and could have supplied the best programming of the series, and possibly could have been the best podcast ever made. But the most spectacular episode of a podcast was never realised since BOMT just stopped, in the dead coldness of space, to ponder the question: “Why is this episode being labelled as ‘the penultimate episode’?” BOMT asked, “Why be so fucking pretentious and call it the ‘penultimate’? Couldn’t we just call it the ‘next to last’ or ‘the second to last’ or even ‘the not quite the last episode’?” BOMT theorised, “Podcast listeners are going to expect something special and, when they listen to this crap, will be deeply disappointed. “ BOMT decided that calling this episode the ‘penultimate’ is cheesy, cheap, and refused to go along with such crap.  BOMT just stood still in deep space and refused to participate in collecting material of such crass dross. Due to the fact that BOMT stopped transmitting, the producers were forced to use rejected material and outtakes that were deemed too inferior for other episodes. Be prepared to open your heart and donate lots of money to stop Louisiana Delta Blues Syndrome and be warned: Insert your anus into casual conversations, check yourself into ‘The Stewpid Clinic’, and buy the latest in designer flatulence products: The New Improved Anal Symphony After a tale awarded not the most moving and inspiring tale of the year as not voted by over three million subscribers, we feature the not life changing, extremely not poignant, not Dutch Love Story.  Finally, off to The Senior Citizen Games as Britain competes for the gold in the droopiest ball sack and saggiest tits category.

In our latest Funny Comedy Podcast....BOMT overstayed its welcome and continued vegetating (no pun intended) on Asparagusto 1, that orb of flatulence inducing green side dish known as the most asparagus-centric society in the multiverse.Their system of currency is asparagus. This makes shopping difficult since the asparagus in one’s wallet goes putrid and becomes a glomp of stinky vegetable schmutz that ruins one’s wallet.The typical inhabitant of Asparagus 9 typically goes through 25 wallets a year.  This may not sound toobad however, on planet Asparagusto 1, a year lasts for 25 days therefore every citizen needs to shop for a new wallet every day of the year.Top economists experimented with other currencies, such as cabbage and broccoli, however, though an asparagus-based economy causes its inhabitants to pee bright green, it's still preferable to the impact of immense broccoli farts caused by an alternative currency. We begin our episode  with the answer to people who find themselves unliked and not able to get along with people by asking the question: “Do you suffer from awful personality syndrome?” A review of the latest sex app isreviewed (and it isn’t a spreadsheet since something it isn’t sheets that are being spread),  Poopypants Pete features the latest service for people who are too lazy to go to the toilet on their own and for all the listeners with deep psychological problems (and that includes all listenersof this podcast, you too!!!) the latest breakthrough in psychological theory: Literal Method TherapyFunny podcast comedy, adult jokes, comedy podcast, latest comedy, latest jokes***PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO US FOR THE COMPLETE/UNEDITED EPISODES*** ... and you can email us at: [email protected].

***PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO US FOR THE COMPLETE/ UNEDITED EPISODES*** ... and you can email us at: [email protected]. With a carrot accidently lodged in its back cooling passage, BOMT stumbled upon Planet  Asparagusto 1,  the most asparagus-centric society in the multiverse, an entire civilization rooted in (no pun intended) asparagus. On a planet with no intrinsically valuable materials and where nothing valuable, such as gold, exists, the planet’s currency is (and this doesn’t take a psychic to guess): asparagus.  Workers toil in the vast asparagus mines (which in reality is just a field but saying ‘workers toil in the vast asparagus fields pulling asparagus out by the roots and take it down to the market’ doesn't sound very impressive). It is a precarious financial system. On a hot day, if refrigeration fails or if a rat gets into the refrigerated safe, a billionaire can be wiped out.   We begin with another episode of Yes It’s Another Morning where the producer of Yes, It’s Another Morning reviews the secrets of producing a crap morning show as Yes, It’s Another Morning. Is life too transformational and empowering for you, do you live a transformed life?  If so, bring back unworkability and ordinariness in your life with Murad Disempowerment Untransformed Seminars.  As this podcast proves, ANYONE can do comedy especially in the new Joey Bambam Fart and Poo joke Academy. And if you can’t be a comedian, we will reveal the way to earn over 1 million in a day through product placement.

***PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO US FOR THE COMPLETE/ UNEDITED EPISODES*** ... and you can email us at: [email protected]. BOMT (The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee) lands on Whackoff 8, the most self-sexually, self-romantically, and self-involved planet in a self-absorbed universe of immense, egocentric, imperiousness.  The official transcription logs of BOMT, as it approached the gravitational field of pure narcissistic sexual energy waves, reads as “I am entering the field of Whackoff 8 , detecting a rise in unfiltered egocentric energy and… oh my God, I never noticed how gorgeous and drop dead sexy I am, I … I want to write a love poem to myself… I just can’t help it.  My antenna is uncontrollably stroking my throttle-boing stick and it feels so good… I am fanaticising sticking my spoorelease rod into my rear passage duct… and sticking it in and out and in and…. Oh I love me! I am expelling my excess jizzlubricant.  I am going to marry myself!” As BOMT continued admiring a screenshot of itself, it downloaded the following achieve material: We begin with the Faecal Economist Langly Fulton shares his top tips on toilet paper substitute (note: Do not attempt using discarded sandpaper) and a commercial from Head Bang Industries for the latest technology in walls to bang your head against. David Cumfucker attempts, unsuccessfully, to report day 69 from the trial of the decade despite obstacles, which include a retarded camera crew (we apologise if saying ‘retarded’ has offended any listeners, including retarded listener, who may tend to become a bit retarded when triggered over retarded things, such as this retarded sketch). After a message from the makers of Kak Gleam who add razzle and sparkle in your dung (and we realise that dung doesn’t usually describe human poop however we are told that some of our listeners are animals), we feature the latest episode of Fucking with Nature where Jim Obean, the fucking naturist, attempts to do it with a bee. #funnyadults #darkhumor #darkjokes #darkadultjokes #darkadulthumor #humours #humor

***PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO US FOR THE COMPLETE/ UNEDITED EPISODES*** ... and you can email us at: [email protected]. It’s time to verbally vomit clichéd merry Christmases and happy Chanukah schmutz into a microphone and poop out into a second holiday special. BOMT is shamelessly exploited by producers for a cheesy second holiday special designed by producers to excrete some more happy holiday crap that rips-off synthetic sentiment like hack seasonal Disney porn.  It is an alternative time line of cheap drivel where a fourth-rate podcaster, absent of integrity and taste, rehashes worn tripe and creates a podcast called “The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee – The Podcast”.  We begin this episode with asking the probing (and we DO mean probing in a sexual way) question: Why are perverts ruining Christmas? We attempt to answer this question while ignoring the Santa giving his elf a handy. Mean Morty is back with his next Christmas tip and Xmas memories recalling when Skippy the dog did it with the holiday turkey. BOMT proudly presents (it really is shocking that BOMT could proudly present this crap) …  as we were saying, BOMT PROUDLY presents a special season episode of The Twitlike Zone.  This weeks pile: Jerry’s Foreskin for Christmas. It is a retelling of the most world famous  Christmas and Chanukah tale that has been told endlessly through the year and has been the inspiration for countless films:  The Christmas story of the man who forces his way to the mythical Foreskin Achieve and undergoes a life changing foreskin transplant.  (Note – we were shocked to discover that no-one else knows of this, the most traditional holiday tale, ever told.  For F£%&CKs sake, where have you been all these years!).

***PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO US FOR THE COMPLETE/ UNEDITED EPISODES*** ... and you can email us at: [email protected].  BOMT landed on an alternative timeliness of Earth in time for the ultimate holiday of love and kindness of man to his fellow man and transvestite. It was the time of year where miracles are celebrated: The annual wanking of the bull. In this alternative timeliness timeline, Spaniards celebrate the life of the blind saint/ farmer Saint Pullington Juicer, who performed the miracle of accidentally milking a male bull and drawing milk.  Theologians theorise that it may not have been milk. Coincidently, the next day was Christmas.  On Christmas day, their alternative St. Nicholas visits all the houses in the neighbourhood and guilt-trips the little children for not buying him a present and for being such greedy, self-centred shits that the they expect a stranger in a ridiculous red suit to buy ‘then' gifts. BOMT drapes itself in mistletoe and KY Jelly as it oozes into this alternative universe where the wholesome seasonal holiday spirit has been overrun by cheesy Xmas porn and yuletime body secretions. There is no Rudalph the Red Nose Reindeer but there is Barry the Moose with Blue Balls, there is no I’m Dreaming Of A White Christmas but there is I’m fantasising a naked elf with Cream Pie. Words cannot describe the bodily secretions that are splooged all over the Christmas trees because these body secretions haven’t been named yet. The secretions are from sex acts so offensive, disgusting, and just plain wrong that only the most twisted and sickest pervert could find a way to secrete it while actually performing a sex act that, when we say words can’t describe it, is because no diseased mind has invented the words yet for that which cannot be imagined. On this episode: we begin with the quandary that weighs on everyone’s mind during this synthetic, festive, season of unfilled expectations and high suicides: “Do you want to fuck a reindeer in the arse?”. We visit the most intelligent department store Santa in the Universe as he faces off against the worst filth in the galaxy: A young child.  We feature Mean Morty’s Christmas tips, the stingy pointers on how to save money on Xmas and an inside peak at the Marketing firm of some plastically marketing types as they meet with the council of Rabbis and, despite having the mighty dreidel, proceed to ‘sex up Chanukah’.

***PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO US FOR THE COMPLETE/ UNEDITED EPISODES*** @ patreon.com/BOMT_Podcast ...and you can email us at: [email protected].   BOMT travels to the most sanitary planet of good taste and smells in the galaxy, a planet where shit doesn’t exist.   No animal or vegetable possesses an anus (that said, minerals possess a micro-atomic level mini anus however it is so tiny and theoretical that, for practical purposes, let’s just say that the concept of an asshole doesn’t exist in minerals either). Piss also is unthinkable, there is no waste or unpleasant excretions of any time.  A fart is impossible and unimaginable. Even if an alien from outside the planet attempts, with all it’s might, to let go of a stage 3 flatulent event, the expelled gas will smell like the rest of the planet – like expensive perfume. Obviously, in a planet without shit, piss, vomit or farts – BOMT felt so out of place and uncomfortable that it vacated, both the planet and its bowels, and left immediately. In this episode we feature the best advise on how not to shit in the show (which is just don’t shit in the f-ing shower, the inspiration for the Armenian Polka hit “A Shark Is Eating My Arsehole”, The true (yea – right – true) story of Adolf Hitler and The Puckered Anus of A Syphilitic Dog With Haemorrhoids. And there’s more: The Podcast award winner of some random year and a finally a plea (downright begging) to “Please Give Generously To MyEnormous Penis” (Another day when we reach out to adults who are in love with offensive comedy show. Call us the masters of dark humour for adults. We give it in better doses under our Vip Lounge at patreon.com/BOMT_Podcast)

Subscribe for the Unedited Chaos!Get full, uncut episodes and exclusive content: 👉 Patreon.com/BOMT_Podcast.Questions or rants? Email us at: [email protected]. 🎙 This Episode: Offensive comedy, absurd satire, and unfiltered laughs await as The Battery Operated Magic Toupee travels to Planet Terseconsise—a place so succinct it only has three words in its dictionary: succinct, terse, and concise. Philosophers battle it out over its description, while the locals agree it smells, well… “succinct, terse, and concise.” 🔞 Highlights Include: Why you shouldn’t stick things where they don’t belong (we warned you). An exclusive interview with the creator of The Butler Who Murdered The Millionaire—a dud even alleys rejected. A hilarious tale of a father’s misguided love as the infamous Frimpton Baby poops itself. Plus, a premature ejaculation PSA featuring the timeless phrase: “Oops.” ☠️ Love dark humor, offensive jokes, and wildly absurd comedy? Stay tuned for more ridiculousness every week! Follow us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google for uncensored laughs that push every boundary.

***PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO US FOR THE COMPLETE/ UNEDITED EPISODES*** @ https://patreon.com/BOMT_Podcast ... and you can email us at: [email protected]. BOMT watches its back and removes the knives as they appear in it as it revisits a world in which dark comedy writers are unnecessary since all the universe’s  absurd, preposterous, and ridiculous crap has fallen from a wormhole and in the midst of a steamining intergalactic shitfest created a parallel stenchverse where satire and comedy is impossible as no comedy writer could ever imagine anything more ridiculous or absurd than writes itself since it is embedded in the very air they breathe. It is the world of politics. .. and you can email us at: [email protected]. Follow our Dark humor jokes podcast for Edgy humor Tags: Satirical comedy shows Twisted humor for adults Controversial comedy podcast #offensivecomedy #offensivecomedyshow #darkhumour

***PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO US FOR THE COMPLETE/ UNEDITED EPISODES*** ... and you can email us at: [email protected]. In this Twisted humor for adults episode BOMT shiftily sleazes backwards through the stench tunnel leading to the most putrid arsepit of sleaze and corruption, an antiuniverse where integrity has been replaced by putrid pig mick.  It is the world of politics.  It is a world where the entire population takes intelligence tests and the lowest scores win and govern and the highest scores lose and are governed. We begin with the best tip on how to vote this upcoming election: “Vote for the Lesser Asshole.” Next, in order to remain fair and impartial, we give equal time to party political broadcasts for “The Fucking Embarrassing Party” (this is truth in advertising… they really are fucking embarrassing) , “The Don’t Vote Party” (which has the wisest platform and they stand for not voting) , “The New Woke NAZI Party” (The goosestep goes woke), and “The ME Party” (which boasts the most common form of politician since, for them,  EVERYTHING is about ME). Stanley Shminglefart attempts to record a campaign speech and overcome his laughable name. “The Liberal Inclusive Party” proves how inclusive they are, they can produce photos of their candidates standing next to every race, religion and type of person that a person can identitfy with, with the exception of somewhat normal podcast listeners. We follow with political messages from the indescribable “Party of No Fixed Abode (and since it is indescribable we will not attempt to describe it) and “the Pity Party” (whether or not you vore for them – open your heart and please pity these poor, pathetic, unelectable bastards). Finally –the revolutionary Sound Behind brings its revolutionary AI technology to the Margret Thatcher’s most famous speech as we hear the REAL goings-on behind the scenes. Welcome/ warning introTheme music montageVote for the Lesser AssholePolitical Message – The Fucking Embarrassing PartyPolitical Message – The Don’t Vote PartyPolitical Message – The New Woke NAZI PartyPolitical Message – The ME PartyVote ShminglefartPolitical Message – The Liberal Inclusive Party(PODCAST PROMO)Political Message –Party of No Fixed AbodePolitical Message – the Pity PartyTHE SOUND BEHIND – Oooooh that ThatcherClosing Credits     Follow our Dark humor jokes podcast for Edgy humor Tags: Satirical comedy shows Twisted humor for adults Controversial comedy podcast For all your dark humour, dark jokes and offensive jokes stay close! (Another day when we reach out to adults who are in love with offensive comedy show. Call us the masters of dark humour for adults. We give it in better doses under our Vip Lounge at patreon.com/BOMT_Podcast)

***PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO US FOR THE COMPLETE/ UNEDITED EPISODES*** BOMT (The Battery Operated Magic Toupee) goes hardcore e-S&M, submissively puts on a Kalavax dog collar, begged for forgiveness from the dominant Schlooglehabs of Planet  Imyoubitch4, and insisted to be disciplined.  It digitally exclaimed “I’m a naughty multidimensional toupee which is magical and operated by batteries… scrape my anticorrosive electrodes, drain my schmibblepiss fluid, suck my multi-dimension hyper- circuitstick and make me beg like the slut velutian veetlebink I am.”   We start with a question to the many of you who suffer in silence as you left your leg to a tree… “Do you have the toilet habits of a dog” Next: Don’t Scrub Your Privates With Steel Wool.  By privates we refer to your genitals, and by genitals we refer to your penis or vagina.  And why shouldn’t you scrub your penis or vagina with steel wool?  You’ll need to listen to get the answer. Next a commercial message from Bonzo Butcher Budget Beef. Save money with our discount goat vaginas and the largest selection of assholes in the industry, including discount donkey rectums. Next – the not famous Bert Smolinski of the not well known Bert Smolinski attempts a talent show… over an audio podcast. Finally – a pandemic of loose pubic hair is coming.  Listen to this warning so that you can prepare yourself for the devastating (and pretty disgusting) devastation of what is to come. Welcome/ warning intro Theme music montage Do you have dog toilet habits??  - coming attraction Don’t Scrub Your Privates With Steel Wool Bonzo Butcher Beef commercial Talent Contest (PODCAST PROMO) Pubic Hair warning  Closing Credits For all your dark humour, dark jokes and offensive jokes stay close! (Another day when we reach out to adults who are in love with offensive comedy show. Call us the masters of dark humour for adults. We give it in better doses under our Vip Lounge at patreon.com/BOMT_Podcast) You can email us at: [email protected].

***PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO US FOR THE COMPLETE/ UNEDITED EPISODES*** ... and you can email us at: [email protected]. BOMT (The Battery-Operated magic Toupee) cloddingly clomped through “Huh-Um-Duh” the most illiterate dumbed down arse tunnel of the multiverse. The following was written inside the Ignorancy Wave Field of Huh-Um-Duh: “BOMT go in thing. Go BOMT go. BOMT do farty sound, ha-ha, laff at BOMT pooy smell noise.” As you listen to the episode, please make allowances that it was produced by people who are dysfunctional illiterates and are SO unsophisticated that most of their day is spent laughing at farts and poos and creating the very things they laugh at. The tragedy of the situation is that the creators have never been to Huh-Um-Duh and have been this way their whole lives on Earth. The episode begins with help for those who suffer an anus prolapse every time one sneezes, which can become particularly embarrassing during hay fever season. Having the pronoun “They” or “Vey” has become passé now that you can have your own exclusive, personalised, customised pronoun only at the The Bootibum Personalised Gender and Pronoun Shop. We feature an exclusive about Brantaslovavich’s most famous comedian and most depressing depressed manic-depressive in Brantaslovavich. Many people want to make it and don’t make it due to not having THE missing ingredient which is revealed in the latest episode of ‘How To Make It with Eddie ‘Fucking’ Hollywood’. How did wars such as WW1 and WW2 and the upcoming WW3 get such original and creatives names? Discover the secret at our visit to The War Marketing Office. We end with the messiest and stickiest sporting event of the decade – the Masturbation Championships. Welcome/ warning intro Theme music montage Sneezing Anus Prolapse - coming attraction The Bootibum Personalised Gender and Pronoun Shop Brantaslovavich’s Most Famous Comedian How To Make It with Eddie ‘Fucking’ Hollywood (PODCAST PROMO) War Marketing Office Masturbation Championships Closing Credits

***PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO US FOR THE COMPLETE/ UNEDITED EPISODES*** BOMT lands on the planet Attitude with another adult comedy Look buddy - we’ll tell you what this sodding episode of BOMT is about but DON’T ‘F-us-about’, okay! I apologise. BOMT is visiting the Planet Attitude, a planet which boast the most attitude of any planet in the multiverse and it just got to me… the attitude. And… why the ‘F’ am I having to explain this shit to you? Who the hell do you think you are that… sorry it happened again. The AGF (Attitude Gravitas Force) of the planet deeply affects me. We recommend that, before listening to this episode, you apologise to those around you in advance because the attitude will get you. And ‘F’ you if you don’t believe me and… sorry. The episode begins with a warning about the most embarrassing sexual thing that can happen which is even more embarrassing than a limp, tiny, todger… losing control of your bowls during sex. We then listen to another episode that, coincidentally, gets more complains than any other social media show: ‘Kev’s Complaints’. Have you ever stepped in doggie poop and ruined your shoes? Well it may be time for you to buy the latest and greatest technological breakthrough: ‘The Turde Shite Detector’, which is SO sophisticated that we use the classy word ‘shite’ instead of the working class ‘shit’. If you’re a sports fan then you are probably already not familiar at all with the greatest baseball legend in the multiverse: Skinny Stevenson and the tale of the first anal catch. Finally – a warning about that restaurant that you are about the eat in: This Restaurant Doesn’t Take Shit. For those of you who have eaten in restaurants who take shit – this is what happens when you eat in one that doesn’t. Welcome/ warning intro Theme music montage Losing control of Bowels during Sex Kev Complains The Turde Shite detector (PODCAST PROMO) The Sports Legend of Skinny Stevenson This Restaurant Doesn’t Take Shit ... and you can email us at: [email protected]. Follow our Dark humor jokes podcast for Edgy humor Tags: Satirical comedy shows Twisted humor for adults Controversial comedy podcast

***PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO US FOR THE COMPLETE/ UNEDITED EPISODES*** 8 May 2024 On our premier, very first, episode: BOMT (The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee) transmits from the multiverse: ‘Douche Colossus’, known as the most self-centred ‘me-verse’ of the multiverse. If you’re listening from Douche Colossus, please reframe from writing love poems to yourself for a moment and listen to the first sketch which asks the critical existential question, “Are you a douche?” And, if you are, do you know which part of the body you should be cleaning? Strap yourself in for another thrilling adventure of ‘Frank Schwab: School detective’. This week feckless Frank solves the stench infested mystery of the heinous, overpowering, pants pooper. And, if you think the humour can’t get any lower, next is everyone’s favourite sexual do-it-yourself programme: Practical Sexuality, where you will learn what you can and cannot fit inside you and where in your body you should never stick it. Humble yourself to the film bio of the most amazing, important, human on the face of the Earth, the man Jesus, God, and all 33 million deities of Hinduism aspire to be like: The Leonard Q. Banglebaum Jr Story. We conclude our journey to this multiverse with the most pressing issue that threatens extension of our species: the natural gas that the human-ish body expels every moment, is killing our planet, and making a journeys in a sealed elevator unbreathable. We follow the heroic anti-flatulence fascist ‘Just Stop Gas’ complainers/campaigners as they demonstrate why you shouldn’t glue your penis to priceless paintings in protest and how to clench, hold in your natural body gas, and save the planet. .. and you can email us at: [email protected]. Follow our Dark humor jokes podcast for Edgy humor Tags: Satirical comedy shows Twisted humor for adults Controversial comedy podcast Visit our Patreon page for membership: patreon.com/BOMT_Podcast

***PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO US FOR THE COMPLETE/ UNEDITED EPISODES*** ... and you can email us at: [email protected]. There is really not much we can say as the Battery Operated Toupee unmotivatingly visits the most uninspired dimension in the multiverse. TV ads drone the message, “Are you feeling inspired and lit up – well we now have something to cure that.” We’d like to write more about this episode and dimension – but why bother. It wont make much difference, will not REALLY be funny and I’m about to yawn and will need to take my fingers off the keyboard and cover my moth. The episode insipidly begins with asking the universal philosophical question of our age, “Are you a weird fucking asshole?” The answer will not astonish you. Gerold presents the next episode of “Fitting In “, how to fin it in any situation at any time regardless of whether you fit in or not. For all you politically correct geniuses: Politically Correct Science and Mathematics uses science and mathematics to finally work out how many genders there are and how science throughout the ages has been forwarded by the sexual desires of scientists. Finally – the Sound Behind brings its revolutionary AI technology to the 1972 Academy Awards and overhear the conversation between the z-list film maker Felton Oleary, creator or the never produced never-seller “Filthy Frank” and his producer, BOMT (The Battery-Operated magic Toupee) Welcome/ warning intro Theme music montage Are you a weird fucking asshole? Fitting In Politically Correct Science and Mathematics {PODCAST PROMO) The Sound Behind: Academy Awards and Filthy Frank Closing Credits

***PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO US FOR THE COMPLETE/ UNEDITED EPISODES*** ... and you can email us at: [email protected]. BOMT (The Battery-Operated magic Toupee) wholeheartedly daytripped through the most sincere apology for a planet in the multiverse: planet Grovel. As it passed through the unfeigned, thick, clouds of smoke blowing up the arses of its inhabitants, BOMT apologised so sincerely that it’s metallic nose turned brown. BOMT humbly apologised without reserve for whatever anyone thought it should be ashamed of and grovelled for forgiveness for anything it could possibly be forgiven for in the entire multiverse. And as you are about to play this latest episode of The Battery-Operated Magic-Toupee: The Podcast, the producers humbly apologise for all the offense that the comedy may cause and all of the food that is about to be violently undigested. We first offer advise for anyone who has been blinded in a hot waxing incident caused by a beautician waxing your private with uncontrollable breezy flatulence. Next, we visit the Woke Entertainment Network for another edition of Me And My Pronoun where we meet Sherman Ledbecker, who chooses not to identify as man or woman but identifies as God. We answer the question: Which restroom should God use? From woke to cancel – we go to Hate Talk radio as Hate Talk’s usual shit-stirring king of insult shock jock Brian Hate is replaced this week by an out of his depth Matt Monroe from the Transformation and Empowerment With Matt Show. Hitler Unknow covers Hitler’s song and dance years as young Hitler tries and fails as a cabaret entertainer, including his stint as tubist in the garage polka band The Schweinhund Four. Instagram sensation The Prat Prankster is back pulling a ‘hum-dinger’ of a prank. He discovers that swat teams have no sense of humour as he suffers the consequences of his gag, prank bank robbery. And finally – discover great lost accounts of biblical history as we translate The recently discovered “Glickman Texts” and discover Noah’s real, unnatural, affinity for animals on his floating nookie- shack ark. Welcome/ warning intro Theme music montage Hot Wax Accident - coming attraction The Woke Entertainment network – God Pronoun Hate Talk Radio – Matt Monroe stand-in Hitler unknown Pt 3 – The Song And Dance years (PODCAST PROMO) The Prat Prankster: Bank Robbery Prank The LOST Glickman Texts: Noah’s Ark Closing Credits

***PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO US FOR THE COMPLETE/ UNEDITED EPISODES*** ... and you can email us at: [email protected]. Our special 10th episode (which is significant for coming after episode 9 and before 11) has BOMT (The Battery Operated Magic Toupee) in a sombre and depressed mood as the existence of the podcast series lowers the quality of life and creates a stink throughout all known multiverses, thorough out all times and all different planes of existence known and unknown. And if you think this is bad, wait till episode 11 of this podcast launches. First we explore the joys of cooking porridge in your pants and the sensation of oatmeal oozing of your crack (or cracks pending your gender). After you clean the porridge off your privates, get ready to stimulate yourself to Erotic Furniture Repair and see which way the wing nut screws. When you go to a concert or presentation do you applaud politely as the person walks out on stage to perform their bit? Your politeness could trigger WW3 so heed our warning: “Don’t Applaud When Someone Comes on Stage”. We revisit Sammy The Toothpick as he condenses another classics: “Brokeback Mountain”. Sammy warns us over the dangers of cowboys fucking each other instead of the cattle. Next – the wonder jism of the decade, remain youthful forever with the miracle of “Sheldon Quimm’s Spunk”. “Life Beyond – Tales Of People Who Returned From The Other Side” answers the most sort after esoteric question of the cosmos: “Can you have a wank in heaven? “ Finally, in “Poking Fun at Sacred Cows”- we acknowledge that we have crossed a line. We are ashamed, we should be cancelled, deleted and… hell: we should be executed and our diseased heads impaired on stakes of shame for all the public to urinate upon. We urge you, for the sake of your sanity and what little self-respect you have: DO NOT listen to this final sketch. Welcome/ warning intro Theme music montage Porridge In Your Pants Erotic Furniture Repair Don’t Applaud When Someone Comes on Stage Sammy The Toothpick’s Condensed classics: Brokeback Mountain Sheldon Quimm’s Spunk {PODCAST PROMO) Life Beyond – Tales Of People Who Returned From The Other Side Poking Fun At Sacred Cows Closing Credits

***PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO US FOR THE COMPLETE/ UNEDITED EPISODES*** ... and you can email us at: [email protected]. BOMT (The Battery Operated Magic Toupee) crashs on the planet KraꟇאּﬣnsmÆotdenݗnvgtgtmbargfgHdenᵹ₠∏shart, a planet where it’s inhabitants, from the age of 4 till age 75, go to  school in order to learn the correct pronunciation of the planet’s name. No-one ever graduates and there is no need for any degrees to be printed. We get an exciting preview of the most inclusive and diverse film in history: The Abraham Lincoln Story, where the first black Lincoln frees himself. We visit a Cultural Censor Linguist and learn that everything and anything that was, is, and ever will be is racist.  Including you. Next beware of tourists in restaurants.  If you’re a tourist, and if you’re in OUR restaurant, get the fuck out of here because we listened to this warning and we’re bewaring of tourists in restaurants. Finally, did you know that the history of WW2 was all about Hitler’s struggle with his chronic masturbation addiction?  In this episode of Hitler Unknown, we learn the history of the NAZI invasion of Europe through the split splooge  sludge of the Fuhrer’s fiddled flugelshmong. Welcome/ warning introTheme music montageThe Abraham Lincoln Story Beware Tourists in restaurants{PODCAST PROMO) Hitler unknown Pt 5 – Chronic masturbation Closing Credits

***PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO US FOR THE COMPLETE/ UNEDITED EPISODES*** ... and you can email us at: [email protected]. BOMT (The Battery Operated Magic Toupee) effortlessly glided into “Gotit 5”, an empowering world of positivity and unrivalled cuteness, a world where political correctness and diversity, equity and inclusion is woven into the fibre of every being’s DNA. BOMT reacted by vomiting a bathtub full of rotted raw fish guts and immediately escaped to planet “Steaming Pigshit”, named due to everything and everyone being made from putrid hot and sweltering pig shit. The smell of decaying swine poop succeeded in clearing the air of positivity from BOMT’s lung-like things. Many of you desire their own arse monkey but doesn’t know how to where to get one. Now – YOU can grow your own arse monkey, even if you don’t think you have the arse for it. Changing your sex can be an expensive thing, even more expensive if you decide to change back. You can now join the all new Penis and Vagina Co-op. We review the most exciting theatrical event of the decade. Well, not really the decade: The year. Not really the year: The week. OK, not year: the day. The hour? Ok – The minute! We review: Bill Hovis: Accountant. Sammy The Toothpick’s returns for another round of “Condensed Classics” and looks at the film classic “Last Tango In Paris” and loses his lunch over Marlon Brando naked. The writers had difficulty writing the next sketch and edited in a commercial for “The Writer’s Block Institute” instead. In the next episode of “Hitler unknown Pt 4” we reveal a little known artifact of history: “Papa Hitler’s Irritable Bowel Cabaret”, the inside story of Hitler’s father singing and tap dancing bowel who could get irritated by the small things on life. We end with the latest hit game show on The Lowest Common Denominator Network: Guess What I Had for My Dinner Welcome/ warning intro Theme music montage How To Grow Your Own Arse Monkey- coming attraction The Penis and Vagina Co-op Bill Hovis: Accountant Sammy The Toothpick’s Condensed classics: Last Tango In Paris {PODCAST PROMO) The Writer’s Block Institute Hitler unknown Pt 4 – Papa Hitler’s Irritable Bowel Cabaret The Lowest Common Denominator Network: Guess What I Had for My Dinner Closing Credits