Let's Talk About........With Nicky Perfect

The most painful part of grief can be what happens after the condolences stop. When everyone returns to their routines, the person who lost someone is left with the quiet, the calendar, and the dates that suddenly feel impossible. I’m joined by Kelly Edmondson, a trauma ICU nurse from Ohio who spent decades caring for people in crisis, until she became the one who needed care. After her son Darius, who lived with epilepsy, died unexpectedly in his sleep, Kelly saw how loud the silence can be in the weeks and months after the funeral. She explains why people avoid grief conversations, why “I don’t want to remind them” is a myth, and how a simple message can carry real weight: “I don’t know what to say, but I’m here.” We also dig into practical grief support that actually helps, especially around anniversaries of death, birthdays, Mother’s Day and the holidays. Kelly shares how Timely Presence delivers personalized memorial gifts on the days research shows are most difficult, and why light-filled items like sun catchers and candles can help someone feel seen without trying to fix the unfixable. For anyone navigating bereavement, we talk about the physiological impact of loss and concrete steps like sleep, small high-protein meals, fresh air, sunlight and new rituals that gently reframe triggering dates. If you know someone who’s grieving, or you’re trying to find your way forward after loss, listen, share it with a friend, and subscribe so you don’t miss the next conversation. If it resonates, please leave a review and tell us what supportive phrase you wish you’d heard most.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

Grief can make you feel like the world should stop, yet everything keeps moving and you’re left trying to keep up. I’m on my own for this one, speaking as a former hostage and crisis negotiator who’s heard hundreds of stories from people in crisis and as a human being who has also had to carry loss. I share three hard lessons that shaped my work and my life: we will all face crisis at some stage, many crises centre on loss, and loneliness can quietly become one of the biggest threats to our wellbeing.I talk through my own experiences of bereavement, including losing my friend Jane to cancer and the shock of grieving someone who should have had decades ahead of her. Then I open up about losing my dad in November 2022 and the unexpected part that followed: searching for his “essence” in places I thought I’d feel him, and the relief when I finally did. Alongside the emotion, I touch on the practical realities of death, from probate to navigating online systems while you’re still in shock.To make sense of how grief can swing and surprise you, I walk through the Kubler-Ross grief cycle and why it helped me name what was happening, even when it didn’t show up in a neat order. We also get practical about communication skills for grief and bereavement: how to open up the conversation, why saying their name matters, and why listening without fixing is often the kindest support you can offer.If this resonates, subscribe, share it with someone who might need it, and leave a review so more people can find these conversations. What’s one thing you wish others understood about your grief?Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

Every suicide callout Claire attended as a police officer was male and that pattern haunted her long after the blue lights switched off. Claire Dunn joined Essex Police at 20, spent 18 years responding to crisis, and was medically retired with PTSD in 2016. She retrained, stepped into the NHS, and quickly hit a new shock: in school-based mental health services, boys were barely being referred, even though boys and girls struggle at similar rates. If boys aren’t coming through the door, what happens before they reach crisis point? We dig into the turning points that pushed Claire from awareness into action, including two suicides close to home in 2023 and the wider reality that suicide is a leading cause of death for men under 50. Claire shares what she learned from co-producing solutions with boys aged 12 to 15, what they said about stigma, masculinity, peer pressure, and the fear of being seen, plus why privacy in schools matters more than most adults realise. We also talk about how distress can show up as anger and “challenging behaviour”, and why educators and services need to read those signals differently if we want earlier support and better outcomes. You’ll hear the practical side too: mental health literacy, simple language, discreet self-referral routes like QR codes, and clearer pathways so boys can access early intervention before they escalate into self-harm or suicidal ideation and miss preventive thresholds. Claire also explains her current doctorate work using participatory action research to develop gender-informed interventions for adolescent boys across UK schools. If you care about boys’ mental health, suicide prevention, school wellbeing, or how to have difficult conversations before it’s too late, hit subscribe, share this with a teacher or parent, and leave a review with the one change you want schools to make.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

Suicide is still taking too many men, and the scariest part is how often it happens in silence. I sit down with Aldo Kane, former Royal Marines commando and one of the world’s go-to safety and expedition leads for extreme TV and film, to talk about what he’s learned from decades in high-risk, high-consequence environments and from losing close friends to suicide.We dig into why men can struggle to communicate pain, how “unwritten rules” about being a man can turn stress into isolation, and why psychological safety changes everything. Aldo shares a grounded framework for resilience that isn’t motivational fluff: sleep, movement, nutrition, daylight, and social connection. He also explains why resilience is not fixed, how doing hard things builds real coping capacity, and why a simple walk side-by-side can unlock conversations that never happen face-to-face.We also go deeper on identity and values, especially the crash that can come after leaving the military or any role that once gave you purpose. Aldo breaks down the Royal Marines commando spirit values and how they still guide him through change, grief, and uncertainty. Finally, we talk about asking for help early, including Aldo’s decision to seek therapy proactively after Iraq, and what he’s doing to raise two young boys who can name emotions and talk openly.If you found this helpful, subscribe, share it with someone you care about, and leave a review so more people searching for men’s mental health and suicide prevention can find it. What’s one small “walk and talk” check-in you could do this week?Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

This episode is part of Podcasthon 2026, a global podcast movement highlighting the work of charities around the world. For this special release on Friday 20 March, we are proud to support SHOUT, the UK’s free, confidential, 24/7 text messaging service for anyone struggling to cope.Grief can make the world feel smaller, quieter, and strangely far away from who we used to be.In this deeply honest conversation, John Kammer joins Nicky Perfect to share how repeated loss shattered his illusion of invincibility and pushed him into years of numbing inside the relentless pace of the hospitality industry. Sobriety eventually opened the door to something different — an active, deliberate approach to healing.The conversation moves from raw guilt and unspoken words to an unexpected bridge: building an ethical, text-based AI designed to help people express what feels stuck when the room is dark and the heart is loud.Together we explore why the familiar “stages of grief” often miss the mark, and instead focus on Worden’s Four Tasks of Mourning: • accepting the loss • processing the pain • adjusting to life without the person physically present • creating an enduring connection that allows us to move forward without erasing love.John explains how structured prompts can help organise scattered thoughts, make therapy sessions more effective, and turn late-night spirals into clear reflections you can take to a professional.We also step into difficult territory — men and vulnerability, the way strength is often confused with silence, and why caring for others starts with acknowledging what we ourselves are afraid to feel.From psychodrama tools such as letter writing and the empty chair, to the thoughtful design choices behind his AI project, the conversation stays grounded in dignity. No voices. No avatars. No pretending anyone comes back. Just language that gives shape to the presence we already carry.If you’ve ever wanted a simple way to support someone who is grieving, borrow this question:“Tell me about them.”Stories unlock connection. Stories keep memory alive.As part of Podcasthon, this episode also shines a light on SHOUT, whose volunteers support people across the UK through text conversations during moments of crisis. Their work reminds us how powerful a few words — and a listening presence — can be.🎧 Listen now. 💬 Share with someone who may need it. ⭐ Leave a review to help more people find these conversations.And remember — sometimes the most powerful thing we can offer someone is simply the space to speak.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

A quiet smile can hide a collapsing world. Michele D’Souza joins us to share the story of her brother Nick and the hard truth many of us avoid: suicidal distress often looks like recovery on the surface. We walk through the uncertainty that followed his death, the relentless guilt of being the last to see him alive, and how a decade of grief reshaped Michele’s life and work.From there, we shift into what actually helps. Michele breaks down trauma-informed leadership with practical clarity: recognize dysregulation, build psychological safety, and respond with empathy rather than pressure. We talk about the frontline—police, nurses, paramedics, social care—where exposure to trauma is routine and burnout is accelerating. You’ll hear why “call the helpline” isn’t enough when someone’s nervous system is overloaded, and how simple, human actions like debriefs, warm handoffs, and small one percent interventions can move a person from freeze to fight.We also tackle the silent crisis in construction, where macho norms and unforgiving timelines collide with grief, addiction, and isolation. Michele explains why mental health first aid should be as common as fire safety, how to spot meaningful shifts in behaviour, and why a bowl of fruit isn’t a wellness strategy. Her mission, through Puzzle Peace Coaching, is simple and profound: teach people to listen, to sit with discomfort, and to act in small, specific ways that create real safety.If you’ve lost someone to suicide, worry about a colleague, or lead a team under pressure, this conversation offers tools you can use today. Subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review to help more people find these insights. Your one percent might save a life.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

A hard truth unlocked everything for us: the second time you ask “Are you really okay?” is when the real answer shows up. Susie shares how she moved from being sectioned as a teenager to building a life she once thought was out of reach—work promotion, supportive love, and plans for a youth‑focused suicide prevention project. Together we break down practical tools for supporting someone in crisis: ask twice, speak plainly about suicide, and be ready for an honest “yes” without recoiling. You’ll hear why direct language does not plant the idea, how to respond in the moment, and what to avoid when your own fear tries to take the mic.We also draw a clear line between self‑harm and suicidal intent, cutting through common myths that can add panic and shame. Susie explains how readiness shapes recovery more than any single therapy, and why patience and presence matter more than pushing. Her strategy for resilience is deceptively simple: isolate bad moments so they don’t devour the day, notice small wins, and choose the next doable step. From the “ask twice” approach to reflective language that keeps the focus on the person in pain, the conversation turns evidence and lived experience into practical, compassionate action.Looking ahead, Susie sketches a stigma‑free space for young people that blends training, peer support, and open conversation about suicide. The aim isn’t to make impossible promises; it’s to make the hardest talk feel speakable. If you want concrete guidance on what to say, what not to say, and how to stand steady beside someone you love, this is for you. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review to help more people find the skills—and the hope—to get through their darkest moments.To get in touch with Susie , send her a message on Facebook.https://www.facebook.com/suzie.simkins.3Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

🎥 Watch on YouTubeA gentle hello can change the course of a life. That’s the heart of our conversation with therapist Rachel Young, who shares how simple, human connection can interrupt a suicidal spiral without perfect words or clinical expertise. We walk through what real pain often looks like from the inside, why people describe themselves as a burden, and how a sudden “lightness” can appear after someone decides to die. Understanding these signals helps us respond with clarity, compassion, and courage.We get practical fast. Rachel offers short, direct phrases that open doors: Are you thinking about suicide? What are your plans right now? Tell me about that. We talk about reflective listening, allowing silence, and mirroring someone’s words so they feel heard rather than fixed. You’ll learn why asking about suicide doesn’t plant ideas, how presence reduces isolation, and how everyday gestures—sitting beside someone, making tea, saying hello on the street—can create the small moments of light that keep a person here.Parents and carers of teens will find a focused section on adolescent risk. We cover how a developing brain affects impulse control and foresight, what behaviour changes to look for, and why early check-ins matter. We also outline a practical safety plan you can build together: triggers, coping steps, supportive contacts, and one reason to stay. Plus, Rachel shares how to reach her directly for therapy and guidance.If this topic touches your world, this conversation gives you words, posture, and a plan. Subscribe for more thoughtful guides to tough conversations, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review to help others find these tools. Your presence can be the difference—start with hello.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

 🎥 Watch on YouTubeA football terrace nickname, TV attention, and nights out might look like belonging—but Lee’s story reveals what happens when external validation drowns out a silent, aching inside. From childhood loneliness to alcohol dependence, from extreme weight loss to a mental civil war, he takes us through the moments that pushed him to the edge—and the brutal aftermath that followed when he survived a suicide attempt. The turning point wasn’t a slogan; it was his mum’s face at the end of the ICU bed and the decision to build a life worth staying for.We walk through the hard parts with clarity: shame, self-pity, and the lies addiction tells. Then we get practical. Lee shares the communication tools that changed everything: mind your tone to lower defenses, use names to make care personal, and ask the deceptively simple question, “If you did know, what would it be?” We explore how Andy’s Man Club gave him safe space and why Monday-to-Monday support leaves dangerous gaps. That insight sparked the Modern Men Movement—peer-led support, quick resources, wellness assessments, and fast paths to counseling—to help men move from crisis to connection.You’ll hear how to spot warning signs without shaming, how to invite conversation without pressure, and how small, consistent check-ins beat grand gestures. We talk hope without pretending it’s easy: vigilance over complacency, listening over lecturing, and swapping external applause for internal care. If you or a loved one feels stuck, this conversation offers real tools, real stories, and a real way forward. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review telling us which tool you’ll try first. Your words might be the bridge someone else needs.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

A quiet shift in someone’s routine can be the loudest alarm. We sit down with retired detective and crisis negotiator Nicky Hurdley to unpack how frontline negotiation skills translate into everyday conversations when a friend, teen, colleague, or partner might be suicidal. Instead of scripts or clichés, we focus on the human core: notice subtle changes, echo the exact words you hear, validate feelings without rushing to fix, and give time in low-pressure spaces like side-by-side walks.Nicky Hurdley shares practical ways to spot “throwaway” lines—those casual phrases that carry heavy meaning—and how to circle back without judgment. We explore why pep talks can backfire and how validation creates immediate relief. We dive into the Kubler Ross grief model as a living map for crisis: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Emotions don’t follow a neat order, and they loop; understanding that helps you avoid solving the wrong problem. You’ll learn how to slow a heated moment, use silence as a tool, and ask calm, direct safety questions that don’t “put ideas” in anyone’s head.We also get tactical: how to create time when life is busy, why side-by-side conversations are less threatening than face-to-face, and how to co-create small next steps—from booking a GP to texting a trusted friend—without taking control away. Above all, we anchor on two principles that change outcomes: kindness and respect. They signal dignity, reduce loneliness, and make it easier for someone to tell the truth.If this conversation resonates, follow the show, share it with someone who needs practical language, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway. Your words might be the reason another listener finds the courage to start a lifesaving talk.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

What would you say if someone you love hinted they might not want to stay? We sit down with Sue Williams—former head of the Hostage and Kidnap Units at Scotland Yard—who brings 35 years of crisis negotiation to a question many of us fear: how do you talk about suicide with care, courage, and clarity?Sue breaks down the essentials with a precision that feels human, not clinical. We explore how to prepare when time allows, from choosing a calm setting to mapping likely replies and gathering support contacts before you need them. You’ll learn the do’s—gentle I statements, open questions, reflective listening—and the vital don’ts that shatter trust, like minimising pain, rushing to fix, or saying I know how you feel. We unpack why meaning lives in how words are received, not what we intend, and how tone, pace, and authenticity can steady a conversation at the edge.The heart of the episode is a vivid rooftop story at dawn: a man ready to jump, a negotiator keeping distance and focus, and a sunrise over London’s rooftops that opens a quiet doorway back to safety. It’s a reminder that presence often matters more than perfect phrasing, and that empathy—used to build real emotional connection—can shift someone from despair toward the next small step. We talk about scanning for triggers, reinforcing positive anchors, validating their reality without judgment, and treating trust like glass: once cracked, never quite the same.If you’ve been looking for practical language, confidence to ask direct questions, and a way to be there without trying to fix everything, this conversation offers tools you can use today. Subscribe, share with someone who might need it, and leave a review telling us which insight you’ll keep at the ready for when it matters most.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

 🎥 Watch on YouTubeIn this episode, Nicky speaks with Danny Kett, a former police negotiator with 30 years of experience, 18 of those in hostage and crisis negotiation. Danny shares what crisis work taught him about conversations that matter most — especially when suicide is a concern.They discuss myths that hold people back, including the fear that mentioning suicide puts the idea in someone’s head, and show how direct, honest language can actually open doors. Danny shares a powerful personal story of supporting a family member in crisis through text messages, explaining how matching pace and energy can keep connection alive.Together, they explore how to create safe spaces, adapt to different communication styles (including neurodiversity), and use everyday negotiation skills to have the hardest conversations. Danny also shares insights from his new venture, which applies behavioural science to organisational challenges.This conversation isn’t therapy or training — it’s practical lessons from experience. Honest, human tools you can use today to support the people you care about.If you have been affected by anything in this podcast here are the numbers for you to contact. 📞 Samaritans — Call 116 123 any time, day or night.📱 Shout — Text 85258 for free, confidential support in the UK.📞 PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK — Call 0800 068 4141 if you’re under 35 and struggling, or worried about someone who is. 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

 🎥 Watch on YouTubeWhen Help Feels Like Pressure: One Voice, Safe Space, and Conversations That Save LivesHost Nicky talks with former police officer and negotiator Damian about what really helps when someone is in crisis. They unpack the reality of suicide in the UK, why crowds and escalating responses can increase pressure, and how one trusted voice in a safe space can change a decision. This episode offers practical, compassionate steps for parents and carers—what to notice, how to open the conversation, and how to choose the right person to lead it. Clear, human guidance, not therapy or training—just experience you can use today.Key takeawaysSuicide is under-discussed and under-resourced. In 2023, 7,055 people died by suicide in the UK—far more than homicides or road deaths.Saying “suicide” does not plant the idea. Asking directly can bring relief and honesty.Crowds increase pressure. Emergency responses (and onlookers) can unintentionally push a person toward a harmful decision.De-pressurise the scene. Reduce noise, audience, and competing voices; create time and space.Use one trusted voice. Agree a single lead person to speak; a quiet second person can support the lead.Parents/carers: you may not be the right lead. Prioritise trust over role or ego; let the young person help choose who they talk to.Environment matters. Pick the person’s safest, calmest place (often their room, or a side-by-side setting like a walk/drive).Open gently, aim for clarity. Start with care (“We’re really worried about you”) and progress toward the heart of the matter.Listen with curiosity. Go slow, don’t rush answers; reflect and reassure.Leave your ego at the door. The conversation is about them, not our fear of “getting it wrong.”Episode highlights (timestamps approximate)00:00 — Introductions & purpose. Why talking about suicide matters.01:53 — UK context. 7,055 suicides in 2023; why we need more open dialogue.06:29 — Pivotal story. A high-rise incident shows how crowds and visible emergency response can increase a person’s felt pressure.12:09 — The lesson. Decompress the scene: fewer people, more time, less noise.15:14 — “One voice.” Choose a single trusted lead; a quiet second supports the lead.21:28 — Parents & carers. Opening lines, managing fear/ego, creating safe space at home.26:25 — Summary. Trust intuition, choose one voice, prioritise safety and connection.28:20 — Closing reflection. Speaking openly reduces shame; we need a culture of kindness and support.How to start the conversation “I’m really worried about you, and I want to understand.”“I’ve noticed [specific change]. How are you, really?”“Are you thinking about suicide?” (Direct, calm, non-judgemental.)“Thank you for telling me. I’m here. We can take this one step at a time.”Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

Watch on YouTubeIn this episode Nicky talk to Katey Martin, a police officer and head of counter-terrorism negotiation training in the UK, discussing her experiences and the importance of suicide prevention. She highlights that 95% of their call-outs in London involve crisis situations. Katey emphasises the success of negotiators in saving lives through difficult conversations. She trained as a suicide first aid instructor and, with colleague Derek Carroll, rolled out this training nationally. Katey stresses the importance of using observational language, trusting gut feelings, and having open conversations about suicide. She also mentions the prevalence of suicide thoughts among young people and the need for better training and conversations to address this issue.Katie explains the significance of using the word "suicide" openly and not shying away from it. She discusses the impact of language on conversations about suicide and the importance of using observational language.Katey shares a story about a parent who used an emotional label to save their child's life, highlighting the power of words and advises parents to have conversations about suicide with their children and not to fear the topic.If you have been affected by anything in this podcast here are the numbers for you to contact. 📞 Samaritans — Call 116 123 any time, day or night. 📱 Shout — Text 85258 for free, confidential support in the UK. 📞 PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK — Call 0800 068 4141 if you’re under 35 and struggling, or worried about someone who is. 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. You are not alone. Reaching out takes courage — and support is always here.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

In this episode Nicky chats to Jo Berry. Jo's father, Sir Anthony Berry, was killed by an IRA bomb in 1984.In 2000 Jo met the man who had planted the bomb, Patrick Magee. This is her amazing story which touches on so many aspects of communication and being human. It's hard to describe this story so the best thing to do is listen as Jo tells it in her own words.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

In this track Nicky explains why she believes communication is such an important skill and yet one of the core functions of every day that gets forgotten about. When we speak to each other it's generally from an unconscious place and we don't think about the words we are saying or how we are approaching the conversation. When we become more conscious in our communication we can leave people feeling empowered, valued and validated.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

In this episode Nicky looks at 5 steps you can take when having difficult conversations and help you to be heard.The last year and this most recent lockdown has been a challenge for everyone and sometimes this affects our relationships and our ability to communicate with others.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

In this episode Nicky gives you five tips to help you become more confident in your conversations. Perhaps you struggle to be heard in meetings or at home, or do you struggle to get your message across in meetings.Actions for you to take:1. Practice2. Listen to what other people say and then reflect back what you have heard.3. Quietening your inner dialogue4. Being present5. Make it about the other personResources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

In this episode Nicky looks at how we can negotiate with our kids especially in during lockdown.She gives 3 tips; remember our conversation comes from our own point of view, being present, listening.She also shares the plane Please Listen by Leo BuscagliaResources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

As we enter the second month of this current lockdown, relationships are beginning to breakdown as people struggle with home schooling and working from home. Families have forgotten to make quality and fun time for each other as this way of life becomes the new normal. In this episode Nicky gives us four tips on how to communicate with our families during lockdown.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

Part 5 of this mini course where Nicky gets you to reflect on how you communicate. Listening is at the heart of building relationships, being fully present with someone with no judgement or trying to problem solve is incredibly powerful when it comes to building relationships and gaining trust. Without trust relationships fail, without listening and spending time with someone it's hard to build trust.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

In this episode we look at the think, feel, do cognitive behaviour model and how this affects the way we behave and communicate with each other.Nicky shares some of her own stories in how this works for her and how reflection is the key to change.Sometimes we don't know what we don't know, understanding how we work as individuals helps us to be able to change and grow.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

In this episode Nicky looks at how fear drives us and causes emotional conversations rather than logical ones. She discusses how your inner critic is there to protect you and comes from the part of the primitive brain which causes fight, flight or freeze. Nicky also discusses how being control can have an affect on how we communicate with others and when control is taken from us it causes fear.This fear is often about loss or perceived loss.She gives you tips on how you become more aware of how you are behaving and how you can speak from a more logical perspective rather than an emotional one. Self reflection is the key to change.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

This episode is part 2 from a 5 part mini series about self reflection and how to build relationships through communication.In this episode we loo at our own values and belief and what we believe to be true and how it drives our behaviour. Nicky gives you a challenge at the end of each session to help you become more reflective and consciously aware about how you communicate with other people.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

This mini series is a 5 day course where Nicky helps you to become more self aware about how you behave and why. Today is all about self reflection and the challenge is to make your behaviour and communication more conscious. It is difficult to change if you are unaware of how you behave int he first place.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

Welcome to our conversations from the coffee shop where we meet and talk to people about their lives and their stories.In this episode we meet Jess who shares her story of how she lost her partner to heart disease at an incredibly early age, how she dealt with this by in her words "running away" and how she fell into an abusive relationship and eventually escaped. Jess shares with us the lessons she learnt along the way and of course we focus and reflect not he communication and behaviour aspect of it all.Thank you Jess for sharing your story.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

In this episode we look at one of the ways we listen to other people, the "problem solving" way. This means we focus on how we can solve the other persons problem rather than how they might be feeling, or what might be going on for them. We also discuss the poem Please Listen by Leo Buscaglia. Leo's poem shows the effect telling someone what to do can have on them.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

In this track Nicky speaks to Susie. Susie is 16 and has struggled with her mental health. Susie tried to take her own life and was sectioned under the mental health act when she was 13 years old. Here she tells her story of her experience and how she is now paying it forward working with mental health organisations to help other people who might find themselves in a similar situation. A must listen for those of you with children or if you know of a young person who is struggling with their own mental health at this time.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

In this episode Nicky explains how validating how someone is feeling helps to build relationships and creates trust. This can be in a new relationship or with a family member. Sometimes we are quick to give advice or solve the problem for the other person rather than listening to what they are saying and how are they are feeling. Recognising how a person might feel helps them to feel listened to and valued. As human being we all generally like to feel valued at some stage.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

In this episode Nicky shares a recent car accident and how her emotional or limbic brain took over and how she managed to interrupt her thought patterns to gain control. She also shows how this can happen when we have arguments or react to something maybe one of our kids or partners have done and how this causes a breakdown in the relationship.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

In this track Nicky shares why we talk about people behind their back, what drives us to this and what we can do to think about changing our behaviour.We've all done it been unkind about someone or moaned about them behind their back, we sometimes seem to thrive on belittling others but why?Sometimes the smallest change makes the biggest difference.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

In this track /nicky discusses how to make a great first impression and gives you four tips. She shares her stories from her negotiation world and being a step parent and makes this relatable to building any sort of relationship from a job interview, first date or becoming a step parent.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

In this episode Nicky shares a story where she has been working under stress and how this has impacted the way she listened to her team and also communicated with them.In this episode you will learn:How to become more self aware so you recognise what your behaviour is.What to do if you find yourself caught up in the moment.What to do next.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

In this episode Nicky shares one of her negotiations with a young girl in a tree with a noose round her neck. She talks about the lessons she learnt, what worked and how she uses this experience in communicating with her teenage daughter.Nicky also share her experiences in lockdown and gives you some tips on how to communicate with family during this challenging time.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

For over a decade Nicky had the privilege of being an international hostage and crisis negotiator. During this time she learnt everyone has a story and all of us experience some sort of crisis during our own lives. Each one of our stories has a life lesson someone else can learn from. Today's story is about loss, dealing with grief and how being present and in a moment with another person can help them.Clare lost her 7 year old daughter suddenly and in this episode she shares her experience and story.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

In this episode Nicky share her knowledge of how hostage have survived their time in captivity and what we can learn and use as we experience these challenging times. She also shares stories from her own life and how you can use these to create better relationships as we spend far more time with each other and change our daily routines.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

In this track Nicky explains why she believes words are important and then gives three ways of improving and challenging yourself in your own conversation.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

In this episode Nicky discusses what she believes presence is, the difference it makes when you bring you own presence to ta conversation and she also shares a chapter from her new book, talking about what happened and the lessons she learnt.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

Not everyone enjoys Christmas and sometimes we have to face challenges which seem exaggerated because of the time of year. In this episode Nicky shares some practical tips on dealing with our own emotions and also why there is conflict between people when deciding how to spend Christmas Day.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

In this track Nicky describes a conversation she had with a team member, how it didn't go too well and what she learned. she also shares the stages of change and how to talk to people on a one to one basis.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

In this episode Nicky looks at one of the episodes from The Peaky Blinders series here in the UK and how one of the main characters is able to influence his sister into getting what he wants.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

In this episode Nicky explores how telling a team member they must do something because the organisation or business demands it can leave the person feeling devalued. When this happens they become less motivated and engaged and you lose their interest and good will. Spending time in the moment listening to them and then working out a solution which is still best for the business or organisation is a win win for everyone.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

Every day we can learn from our conversations with others. In this episode Nicky describes a simple encounter with a customer, how the conversation didn't go quite according to plan and what she learnt.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

In this episode Nicky discusses why managing expectations with your children helps you to get them to do a task you would like them to do but without the emotional conversation which often goes with it.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

In this episode Nicky gives you 5 ways of how to have a conversation with someone in crisis. This episode is specifically for those people in an emotional relationship with someone else and how this can impact on our ability to be rational and how our belief systems can take over the conversation. she also shares her experience of negotiations and what she learnt from each one.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

We generally view the world through our own lens and what we believe to be true, when this happens we sometimes don't appreciate the other person is also viewing the world through their lens. This can cause conflict or misunderstandings. Once you are aware of how you view different situations then you can change how you communicate.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

It can sometimes be difficult to have a conversation where you are going to tell someone how you feel. We often play the scenario round in our head and build it up. In this episode Nicky shows you how to approach having a a difficult conversation and ways of structuring taking ownership and control.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

In this weeks episode Nicky discusses how misunderstandings in conversations can lead to ill feeling, relationship breakdown and possibly even caused the death of Thomas Beckett!! She also shows you ways of checking to make sure you understand the message someone gives to you and also how to check someone has received the message you meant to send.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

In this episode Nicky shares an experience of losing a friend this week and three lessons she has learnt. Each lesson is based on communicating with others, building relationships and dealing with loss and challenges.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection. 

In this episode Nicky discusses why trust is so important and how to gain trust.Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141 Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk 💬 Join our community: Courageous Conversations About Suicide — a safe, supportive space to listen, share, and find connection.