Musings of a Former Overachiever

Are you gathering information, or are you looking for relief?Many overachievers believe they're searching for answers, but what if they're actually searching for relief from uncertainty?In this episode of Musings of a Former Overachiever, I explore why we sometimes quit before we try, how overthinking becomes an attempt to "purchase certainty," and why confidence often follows action rather than precedes it. If you've ever found yourself stuck in planning, refining, researching, or waiting until you feel ready, this episode is for you.P.S. If this episode hit a little too close to home, you're probably my kind of person.The Overachiever Lab is a community for overachievers who are tired of overthinking, overcommitting, and putting unnecessary pressure on themselves. Together, we're learning how to lead, achieve, and thrive from clarity, peace, and enjoyment instead of pressure.Come join the conversation. We'd love to have you.

Have you ever noticed how quickly you move when an email comes in, a text pops up, or a sudden problem appears? For many high performers, what we call "responsibility" or "proactivity" is actually just a socially acceptable form of anxiety management. We mistake the immediate relief of solving a problem for true effectiveness. In this episode of Musings of a Former Overachiever, we dive deep into the dark side of proactivity. We explore why our nervous systems prefer a completed email over an unfinished strategic vision , how overachievers accidentally steal growth opportunities from others , and how to find the powerful middle ground between constant reactivity and total avoidance. PS. Ready to keep your ambition but lose the pressure? Urgency, overthinking, and constant pushing don't have to be the price of your success. If you are ready to stop keeping your foot on the gas and start achieving from a place of clarity and peace, join us inside The Overachiever Lab on Skool. Connect with a community of high performers challenging old assumptions and experimenting with a healthier way to thrive. Subscribe & Review: If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!Stay Curious: Keep up with future episodes by hitting that follow button.

Ready to stop saying yes to everything and start leading your life with intention?Join the Burned Out Overachiever Lab on Skool and get free access to my class, The Magic Power of Saying No. You'll learn why saying no feels uncomfortable, how overachievers accidentally create overwhelm, and how to set boundaries without guilt.Your future self will thank you.Join here: https://www.skool.com/burned-out-overachiever-lab-4941/about

Have you ever noticed that overachievers often treat life like a final exam?Every decision feels loaded. Every mistake feels personal. Every outcome feels like evidence of whether we're competent, capable, or worthy.In this episode, I'm exploring why experimentation may be one of the most powerful mindsets for overachievers.I discuss:Why many high performers are optimizing for emotional safety instead of growthThe neuroscience behind experimentation and why it feels safer than dramatic changeHow the scientific method can help you challenge hidden assumptionsWhy self-trust is built through evidence, not affirmationsHow to use field notes and small experiments to break patterns of perfectionism, overthinking, and pressureIf you've ever struggled with perfectionism, hyper-responsibility, overthinking, or the belief that you need stress to succeed, this episode will challenge some assumptions you may not even realize you're carrying.Because sometimes the next level of leadership isn't about working harder. It's about becoming curious enough to test whether the rules you've been living by are actually true.PS: If you are looking for peer support and other ideas to help you cultivate more peace in your life, join me on Skool here.

Most people are already using thought chains unconsciously. One mistake becomes an identity. One fear becomes a life strategy.In this episode we explore what thought chaining is, why affirmations often fail, and how beliefs actually change through progressive nervous system-safe shifts. I break down the neuroscience behind predictive processing, cognitive dissonance, memory reconsolidation, and identity stability, while walking you through a practical step-by-step process for using thought chains to rewire limiting beliefs without forcing fake positivity.If you’ve ever felt stuck between who you are and who you’re trying to become, this episode will help you understand why.PS: If you are an overachiever who wants to learn how to stop overcommitting and allow some spaciousness in your life, come join us on Skool!

If you’re the one who always steps in, smooths things over, or fixes issues before they escalate, this episode is for you. We explore why overachievers feel compelled to save others from failure, how this pattern forms, and why it costs more than we realize. You’ll leave with a new way to think about responsibility, leadership, and when stepping back is actually the strongest move.If you want a space to unpack patterns like this with other high-performing leaders, join my free Skool community:Burned-Out Overachiever’s LabIt’s a practical, low-pressure space where we run small experiments, talk honestly about over-responsibility, and practice leading without constant bracing.

If you’re an overachiever who thinks things through, explains well, and still gets stuck, this episode is for you.Indecision isn’t a lack of intelligence or confidence. It’s what happens when explaining becomes your nervous system’s safety strategy.In this episode, we break down:The three channels decisions run through: looks like, sounds like, feels likeWhy overachievers overuse the “sounds like” channelHow proving and over-explaining keep your nervous system activatedTwo simple questions that restore clarity and decisiveness when you’re frozenYou’re not broken. You’re just stuck in the explanation loop.And once you learn how to switch channels, movement returns.PS: ⁠Get ⁠my weekly newsletter with uncommon leadership insights.

If you’re productive but stuck, this episode is for you.Taskcrastination isn’t procrastination—it’s what happens when overachievers hit uncertainty and their nervous systems choose safety over significance. We explore the brain science, leadership patterns, and simple tools to move forward even when clarity is missing.👉⁠Get ⁠my weekly newsletter with uncommon leadership insights.

Overachievers constantly feel behind—not because it’s true, but because their nervous system and external-validation habits say it is. In this episode, I break down how a meta program shapes this illusion and why “enough is a decision, not an amount". A quick reset for leaders who want clarity without the pressure.PS: Get my weekly newsletter with uncommon leadership insights. I've spent 30+ years leading in male-majority cultures. My superpower is seeing the hidden systems—both human and structural and translating complexity into clarity that sparks transformation. I bridge logic and intuition to activate change at the exact point where mindset, behavior, and structure intersect. It's a fun ride!

In this episode of Musings of a Former Overachiever, I break down how negative thinking traps your nervous system in reactivity and closes off your perspective. You’ll learn a simple, practical method to step out of the spiral by placing your thoughts “on the stage” instead of living inside them.If you want more clarity, calm, and conscious leadership, this episode is your reset button.PS. I invite you to sign up for my weekly newsletter "⁠Between the Lines of Leadership⁠", a look at how systems thinking and nervous system regulation create calmer, clearer leaders.

We’ve been trained since childhood to question our own knowing.At home, at school, at work, and even in the medical system, we learned that safety and approval go hand in hand. The result? A nervous system that equates confidence with danger and external validation with safety.In This Episode You’ll LearnWhy second-guessing is a nervous system response, not a mindset flawHow systemic conditioning teaches us to outsource worth and safetyThe difference between external validation and sound boarding (and why it matters)How second-guessing leads to chronic resentment and emotional fatiguePractical steps to rebuild self-trust and regulate your body’s response to doubtPS. I invite you to sign up for my weekly newsletter "Between the Lines of Leadership", a look at how systems thinking and nervous system regulation create calmer, clearer leaders.

Are you leading from your true self or just reacting from habit? In this episode, we explore the 8 C’s of Self from Internal Family Systems (IFS) and how to use them as a leadership check-in tool. Learn how to recognize when autopilot is running the show and what it feels like to return to calm, clarity, and confident decision-making. Sign up for my newsletter here.

Why do we interrupt, shut down, or mentally rehearse our rebuttals instead of truly listening? In this episode, we explore the hidden fear behind it all: the worry that listening might be mistaken for agreement.You’ll learn:Why empathy doesn’t equal approvalHow fear of being misunderstood shuts down connection4 practical tools to stay grounded and present in tough conversationsWhat real leadership sounds like when you stop performing your values and start embodying themIf you’ve ever felt anxious about being “too understanding,” this one’s for you.Click here to subscribe to Between the Lines of Leadership my weekly newsletter that is all about self leadership.

Urgency is a trap that makes every decision feel like a crisis.Learn how to pause with power, regulate your response, and lead with long-term clarity.Want more tools like this? Subscribe to Between the Lines of Leadership for weekly insights that cut through the noise.

Your story isn’t just commentary. It’s the blueprint your brain follows. In this episode, I break down the neuroscience, hypnosis principles, and NLP tools behind why you create what you narrate and how to start rewriting the script for better leadership and life results.Get my free newsletter here!

Feeling stuck, frozen, or overwhelmed by your to-do list? In this episode, I break down the science and strategy behind microtasking which is a powerful tool to calm your nervous system and take action. Learn how to build momentum, reduce overthinking, and move forward with clarity.Sign up for Between the Lines of Leadership for more practical tools.

Is compartmentalization a leadership superpower or a hidden emotional trap? In this episode, I unpack the misunderstood skill of mentally separating roles, responsibilities, and emotions. You can lead with clarity without disconnecting from yourself. Learn how to use this tool intentionally, not avoidantly.Want more insights like this?Join Between the Lines of Leadership, my weekly email for high-performing leaders who are done burning out and ready to lead with clarity, calm, and conviction. It’s where we talk nervous system regulation, mindset shifts, and leadership that actually feels good. Sign up here.

“Later” is lying to you. This episode breaks down what you’re really saying when you delay, why it’s costing you more than you think, and how to lead yourself out of the mental chaos it creates.P.S. If you’re ready to lead with clarity instead of overwhelm, make sure you’re subscribed to Between the Lines of Leadership, my weekly email full of sharp insights and practical tools for high-achieving leaders who want more peace, power, and perspective. Click here to sign up.

Ever catch yourself spiraling over a thought like “I must avoid looking bad”? In this episode, I unpack how to challenge those sneaky beliefs using Robert Dilts' "thought viruses", Byron Katie’s The Work and nervous system awareness. Learn how to question your assumptions, calm reactivity, and lead with more clarity and confidence.Perfect for overachievers, leaders and anyone ready to think differently.✨ Get more weekly mindset tools in my free newsletter, Between the Lines of Leadership

In this episode , I unpack the identity labels we carry as leaders that feel productive, but actually hold us back. I’ll share how my addiction to urgency wasn’t a strength, it was a stress cycle. Letting go of that label gave me access to peace, clarity, and a more empowered team.You’ll learn:Why some leadership labels feel true but aren’t helpfulThe hidden cost of urgency on your nervous system (and your team’s)How to challenge the thoughts that create pressureA practical experiment to shift from chaos to calmHow peaceful leadership begins with self-trust, not stressPlus, I’ll give you 7 powerful journal prompts inspired by Byron Katie’s The Work to help you uncover the label that’s running your leadership.Links & Resources:Download the free journal promptsJoin my newsletter: Between the Lines of LeadershipFollow me on LinkedIn

The first thing I had to learn how to do to get a sense of balance in my life was move from urgency to intentionality. Here are 10 ways that I did that. Feel free to take what works for you and tweak as necessary. PS: Not on my email list? Come join us and get weekly tips on how to change your self image from an overwhelmed overachiever to a calm and balanced achiever. Click here!

Ben Maden is originally from the UK. He moved to Australia in 2006 and discovered that working at full-tilt for years on end comes with a price. When things go wrong, they cascade. Today, he's sharing his overachiever story. He's still an entrepreneur and digital marketer at Matter Solutions but has oriented his life much more around a family centric life-design.

Today I cover a worksheet I put together to help you deal with that difficult person in your life and get to a win-win. Click here to get the worksheet. Sign up for the Overachiever's Manifesto here.

Do you label people at work as difficult? What if it's just a difference in your programming? Having this awareness helped me stress less and find it easier to get to a win win with people I had previously labeled as difficult. I hope it helps you too! PS: Sign up for the Overachiever's Manifesto here.

I often get asked how to tell the difference between being an optimal performer or an overachiever. Well, here's how. I would love to meet you or catch up. Click here to schedule some time! If you have my phone number, just call me! PS: Click here to get my weekly newsletter, The Overachiever's Manifesto.

Are you making the assumption that you can't say no to your boss? In this episode, I'll talk about why that is and give you a technique to use to bust that assumption. PS: Get more tips every week from the Overachiever's Manifesto. Click here to sign up.

Are you constantly trying to prove your worth? I did this for a long time. Today I talk about my journey and how I finally got to a place where I believe that I am enough at least 80% of the time. PS: I invite you to sign up for the Overachiever's Manifesto, which is a weekly newsletter full of practical ways to rebalance your life and stop being so addicted to work.

I can't wait for you to hear this amazing interview with my brilliant friend Jen who coaches people over 40 with ADHD. We talk about the intersection of ADHD and overachieving/overworking and get into the nitty gritty of how we helped ourselves with this dilemma. You might be an overachiever/overworker if you have performance issues at work, relationship issues or you just plain ignore your own health. Jen can be found here. She's got an amazing video series here. PS. Get signed up for the Overachiever's Manifesto. What are you waiting for? Click here.

Busy is seen as success. Is it really? This episode discusses busyness and why you should embrace a bit of idleness. PS: Sign up for the Overachiever's Manifesto here.

I spent most of my life believing that I had to work long hours to be the most productive I could be. I was wrong. This episode will tell you why and give you some things to experiment with in regards to time efficiency. PS: Come on over and join the Overachiever's Burnout Recovery lab here. If you're not on Facebook, email me at [email protected] to sign up for the Overachiever's Manifesto which is a weekly newsletter full of tips to redefine success in a health and balanced way.

Are you addicted to work? Do you find yourself working more and more hours just to get that great feeling that you used to get? Let's talk about it! PS: If you're interested in experimenting with ways to recharge your life, join me in my FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/170227661008215

Working from home has lots of great benefits, but it also has a dark side in terms of how much you work and how much energy you expend. In this episode I'll cover 10 tips to get more control around your work day and learning to leave work at work. PS: I invite you to join us in the fb group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/170227661008215

You know when you get in that loop of overthinking and you can't seem to get out? Here's an experiment to try.

Burnout can sometimes be caused because we are spending all day doing things that we hate to do. You might think that there's nothing you can do about this, but I'm here to tell you that it's quite simple to start infusing your day with things that light you up. First you have to figure out what those things are!

We all have 24 hours. Time is not to blame for us not getting things done. Our use of time is the culprit. It's so easy to get distracted and lose focus. This episode discusses some mindset changes to consider and a method to prioritize your use of time and improve your focus. PS: If you are ready to take your leadership to the next level, I'm ready to show you how. Email me at [email protected] to set up some time to talk.

20% of your thoughts are causing 80% of your stress responses. What you believe about work is driving the stress response you are having. This episode talks about the way to find the thoughts that are driving the majority of your stress at work. PS. I would love to meet you! Schedule a free session here!

Overwhelm is so common these days. You feel frozen and like you are drowning in all the to dos and problems in your life. This episode covers some practical strategies to get yourself on top of things. PS: I'd love to meet you and talk about your work life! It's totally possible to not be stressed all the time about work. Let's talk!

I coach a lot of people on time anxiety. One way to free up time is to delegate, but a lot of people have a fear of doing so. Let's talk about 7 beliefs that might be holding you back and what to do about them.

Do you dread dealing with your boss? If this is true for you, I suspect you have a trust issue. Here are some things to think about when it comes to building trust with your boss. PS. If you are stuck and stressed at work, I'd love to talk to you about it. I offer a free session with no strings attached. We'll talk about your issues and I'll give you some tools to get you moving again. Schedule a session here.

Do you find yourself spending a ton of time trying to manage what other people are thinking and feeling? Do you say "what if" to yourself.....a lot? I totally get it and I do this as well. In this episode, I talk about why you might do this and what to do about it. PS: Does your work feedback include the fact that you need to be better about managing your frustration? Is it common for you to "lose it" when things aren't going your way? I can help you with this. We will find your triggers and work on changing your perspective in these situations to lessen how much frustration you feel. Schedule a call with me now to talk about what's going on for you!

Just because I'm a coach doesn't mean that I don't get triggered sometimes and act in ways of which I'm not proud. It's all about calming your nervous system and figuring out a protocol to deal with it better next time. PS. If you are ready to reduce your work anxiety by 80% and still thrive at work, I'm ready to help you get there. Book a call with me today to discover what it looks like to work with me.

In 2019 I had an epiphany that I needed to change my life. I was burned out and thought it was my weight and the hours I worked. It was not. It was the way I was using my time and my energy. Here's what I changed to change my life. PS: If you're stressed to the hilt and are ready to change, schedule a free session here! I can't wait to meet you.

When I ask the question what stresses you out a work, most people answer with some flavor of "the people". This episode discusses the three areas I believe are crucial to our relationships at work. PS. Take me up on a free session now because the more you wait to do something about all that stress, the more it will accumulate. Click here to schedule your spot!

Do you hear yourself saying "I'm so far behind" or "there's not enough time in the day to get it all done"? This is what time anxiety sounds like. Listen on for more insights about time anxiety and some suggestions on how to reprogram your beliefs around time. PS. I can help you reduce your anxiety around time by 80% and help you free up 90 hours in 90 days. Schedule your pro bono session now!

Do you find your self stuck in an overthinking loop sometimes? Do you look at the clock and wonder how hours have gone by when you were stuck what if'ing in your head? Yeah, me too. Here's what I've tried that has worked to minimize the amount of time I spend overthinking. PS. If you're ready to free up 90 hours in 90 days by finding and reprogramming all of your time thieves, I'm ready to help you do it. Schedule a call with me here.

Do you find yourself with back to back meetings and then working halfway into the night to catch up on your own work? My guess is you aren't saying no when you need to. Listen on to learn how to do it. PS: Are you the person who constantly says no to impromptu invitations because you have too much work to do? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have spaciousness in your life to be able to accept these kinds of invitations with no guilt? I can help you free up 90 hours in 90 days so that this and other fun things are a possibility. Book a conversation today!

Do you go into a fight or flight response any time you get feedback? Do you start blaming other people and doing all kinds of things to defend yourself? Me too. Here's how I've toned down my automatic response and I'm sure it will help you too. PS. Take me up on a complimentary session. Your response to feedback could be a sign of perfectionism and that may be causing you to overwork. Click here to schedule.

Are you frustrated because no one at work listens to your opinion? Listen on for 3 areas to consider when formulating your communication strategy. PS: Schedule a complimentary coaching call or get my new masterclass on how to Take Control of your Email here: https://linktr.ee/hollylewiscoaching

Other people's behavior can be a big trigger for stress. Here are my thoughts about that and what you can consider when it happens to you. If you want to take me up on a free coaching session, click here. Life is too short to be burned out and miserable at work. 

Everything we do subconsciously is a habit. My intention for the year is to break up with my habit of being annoyed. Listen on to see how I'm doing it. If you are ready to break up with your work stress, I offer a free coaching session! You should definitely take me up on it.  https://linktr.ee/hollylewiscoaching