This Is How You Think - Mindset Habits for Personal Growth

Text Jule :)I get asked about adult friendships A LOT, like why it’s so hard to make friends, why some friends are so difficult, or why some friends keep disappointing us. Most of the advice out there talks about good communication, having the same values, and letting go of expectations, but I think this angst about friends centers around friendship compatibility. Compatibility in a friendship goes back to questions we never really sit down and answer, which is what is a friend to me, and are all my friends actually the right kind of friend. In my own case, for a long time I treated everybody the same, which is where most of my problems came from. So in this part 2 episode on friendship (listen to part one What Is a Friend) I get into friendship tiers, aka levels of friendship, because once I had those, I stopped handing all of myself to people who didn't want that from me, and I felt a whole lot less used. Topics covered in this episode:The five year friendship where I finally clocked that I was doing all the reaching out Why lumping everyone into the same friendship level set me up to feel let down How friendships by circumstance doesn’t mean you’re compatible to be long-term friends The check-in with myself when I don't feel good after hanging out a friendLetting go of a friend, ghosting vs downgrading The way I think about friends who come and go now, and why I’m at peaceThis is the second episode in my “What is a Friend” series. Here’s part one: What is a Friend? Why Making Friends as an Adult Feels So HardSupport the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)This episode is about grief showing up in your body, why your feelings can hit long before your mind understands why, and how a grief anniversary can knock you flat a year later when you think you’re finally okay.In this episode:Why you feel sad or low for no reason and can’t figure out why What a grief anniversary reaction actually feels like from the inside How your body keeps score of a date your mind has moved past What grief can look like a year after losing someone you love The fear that almost stopped me from talking about any of this My favorite memories of my brother and who he wasIf you’ve ever felt completely off and had no idea why, this one’s for you.Support the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)Despite all the negative self-talk running in my head, for years I figured the whole “watch your words” thing was a load of bullsh*t.  Then about three years ago I came across research showing that emotions have a recipe, and it was a total light bulb moment for me.  So in this episode I’m breaking down the actual science of how the words you use shape what you feel, and how learning to control your emotions starts with paying attention to how you describe what’s happening to you. I’ll keep the mechanics simple, I promise.  In this episode:The saying I dismissed as a kid and why I finally bought into it three years ago The story of my photo getting stolen and how one sentence flipped me from mildly annoyed to full-blown rage Dr. Kristen Lindquist’s research showing that emotions have a recipe My potter’s wheel analogy Why it’s so important to use the right labels for what you’re thinking and feelingThe negative phrases I used to say to myself constantly and how I broke the habit A simple exercise for picking one phrase to swap out, and the friends-and-family trick for figuring out which one If you tend to spiral when something hard happens and you can’t seem to talk yourself back out of it, this one’s for you.Related episode on how to change your thoughts: I was Toxic. Here's What Changed My Negative MindsetSupport the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)How to build real confidence is one of the most common goals people come to me for, and the truth is that it starts with self-trust, not with the affirmation cards and power poses you find on Google. The real work is excavating your past to find a belief you keep carrying that isn’t true.I share the story of how my dad spent my childhood telling me my voice was annoying, and how that one belief got so loud in my head that I ignored dozens of podcast invitations for years because I was too ashamed to be heard. I walk you through the day when it finally shifted for me, and the small first action that took me from never appearing on podcasts to guesting on over 50 shows.Topics covered in this episode:Why affirmations, power poses, and feel-good quotes are not the actual work of building confidenceHow growing up emotionally repressed shaped the way I handled, or really didn’t handle, my own mental healthWhy we believe the things our parents tell us about ourselves, even when those things aren’t trueThe real first step to confidence, and it’s not what most of the personal development space sells youHow shame thrives in the dark and why saying it out loud is one of the best ways to dispel itThe exact message I’d send to make amends for something I avoided for yearsHow to pick a first action that’s big or small enough for wherever you actually are right nowWhy taking that one step becomes the proof you need to take the next oneIf your self-esteem has been spiraling and you just want one place to start, this one’s for you.If you liked this episode, also check out episode 2: How to Build Confidence that Actually Lasts from Oct 30, 2025.Support the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)Okay, so this is me pulling back the curtain on the public speaking anxiety and self-doubt that almost made me say no to the biggest talk of my career. I'm taking you through the whole mental spiral, the panic before I walked on stage, and the sneaky way my own brain turned on me when I started caring too much what everyone would think.If you've ever had a big opportunity land in your lap and felt yourself wanting to shrink back or turn it down, you'll see a lot of yourself in this. I get honest about what was really going on in my head, and the tiny decision at midnight that I almost didn't make.In this episode:What it actually felt like to prep for a 360-degree stage in another country with people watching from every angleThe moment stage fright turned into a full panic attack right before I walked onThe advice two seasoned coaches gave me that I decided to ignoreThe question that quietly hijacked my head and changed how I saw the whole thingWhat it feels like to worry that you're a fraud, and what I did with that fearHow to tell your own voice apart from the fear of what other people thinkWhat I do when I don't trust myself right before something big and scaryWhat I keep reminding myself about discomfort and the comfort zone when I want to quitThe midnight moment that almost didn't happen, and why I'm so glad it didIf you've ever turned down something you really wanted because you were scared of what people might think, this one's for you.Support the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)If you can’t accept a compliment without downplaying it, deflecting it, or chalking the whole thing up to luck, this episode is for you. I sometimes do the same thing, and for a long time I had no idea why owning my own accomplishments felt safer to dodge than to just sit in. I trace it all the way back to a report card and what  my dad said when he finally looked at it.This episode shows why accepting compliments can feel like a trap, where that programming actually comes from, and how I’ve slowly learned to take the recognition in instead of shoving it away. I’ll walk you through the project I couldn’t pin on luck, and the simple thing I started doing that’s changing how I see myself.Topics covered in this episode:The Mean Girls scene that explains why saying “yes, thank you” can feel like a setupThe report card moment that taught me I wasn’t allowed to be proud of myselfWhy being good at something can feel physically dangerous long after you’ve left homeHow this showed up in my corporate career and in how I priced my own businessThe one client project I couldn’t write off as beginner’s luckOne simple habit I started that’s helping me actually believe I’m good at what I doHow to figure out your “special sauce,” which is usually the thing you keep brushing offIf you’ve got that one friend who rejects compliments like they’re allergic, this one’s for them too. Support the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)Here's how I stopped overreacting when life falls apart, and why learning to stay calm under stress isn't a personality trait you're either born with or not. I just spent three days trying to get home from Europe, and watching everyone melt down taught me a lot about how to stay calm when things go wrong. Flights got canceled, a plane got diverted, I caught food poisoning, and the whole time people were screaming at the staff.I used to be one of these people yelling at everyone, and somewhere this changed.If you know your reactions could be better, or you're walking on eggshells around someone who's always about to blow up, this one's for you.Topics in this episode:How a brand new woman at the airport went from listening to the angry guy to sorting out her own flight The metaphor I gave a client about what to do when it feels like it's raining shit on you The $600 assessment that showed me my own victim energy and anger energy on paper in 2021 Why most people land in either victim energy or anger when things go wrong, and why anger feels like the better option The one moment in three days of travel chaos that actually got me angry, and what set me off Why you change how you feel by changing how you react, not the other way around How to give your emotions enough room without wallowing in them Mentioned at the end: David Hawkins Map of ConsciousnessSupport the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)If you’ve ever wondered how to de-escalate a conflict with someone who won’t let it go, or why your apology isn’t landing even when you mean it, this episode is going to give you a real answer. Most people try to fix the feeling, but the actual problem is almost always the thinking underneath it, and until you address the thought, nothing you say is going to move the needle.I walk through a real workshop scenario where the attendees roleplayed through a very common situation, and I show you which responses fell flat, which ones made things worse, and the one that finally worked.Then I get into the three approaches I use most often for conflict resolution at work and in relationships, including a technique I developed myself called coming to neutral.In this episode:The workshop scenario where four different apologies got four very different reactions, and what that tells you about how people actually process conflictThe one sentence that told me exactly which thought I needed to address, and how to spot this in your own hard conversationsHow to know whether to address someone’s emotions or their thinking firstThe accusation audit from Chris Voss, and how I use itThe technique I use with my clients to stop the wild emotional swings between positive and negative interpretationsWhy a reframe almost never works when emotions are still running high, and when it actually doesThe easy test I use to spot when someone’s thinking is the real problem in a conflictThis is part two of my communication mini series, so if you haven’t listened to part one yet, start there.Support the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)Most of us mess up difficult or emotional conversations because we try to fix the wrong thing. Someone’s upset, and we hand them a fact, a logical explanation, a different perspective, and then we wonder why they get more frustrated or just shut down. (I’m guilty of doing this too.)In this episode I’m sharing my STEW framework (See, Think, Emotion, Words) and a really simple tool for handling someone who’s stuck in their emotions. It’s something I learned the painfully hard way after pissing off a lot of people, and it’s the difference between a conversation that actually goes somewhere and one where you both walk away annoyed.In this episode:The mom moment that made me realize I was treating emotional pain like it was a logic problemMy STEW framework and how to figure out where someone is actually stuckThe dead giveaway that tells you someone doesn’t need more information, they need something elseWhy people prefer feeling angry over feeling sad, and what that means for how you respondThe one tool that calms people down faster than almost anything elseThe mistake I see men make with women constantly that backfires every timeThis is Part 1 of 3 on how to handle someone stuck in their emotions. The next episode covers how to handle someone who’s stuck in their thinking.Support the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)A video I made in ten minutes beat the ones I spent hours on.That forced me to face something I didn’t want to admit: a lot of what I called “hard work” and “progress” was just overcomplicating the real work.In this episode:How I convinced myself that hours of production per video was "doing the work"The TikTok I rushed in ten minutes that got more views than anything I'd ever madeWhy my TikTok coach told me my setup was actually hurting my growthThe real reason I kept going back to the old way even after I had proof it wasn't workingWhat I call "the packaging" and why it felt so much safer than just hitting recordThe one question I ask myself now whenever I catch myself overcomplicating somethingWhat actually changed about how I feel on camera now, and what didn'tSupport the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)Most people who never learned how to apologize don't even realize that's the problem. I grew up in a Korean household where apologies never happened, so I spent years refusing to apologize without understanding what that was doing to my relationships.In this episode, I'm getting into why some people genuinely can't apologize, why over-apologizing does just as much damage, and what shifted for me when I finally stopped holding back.In this episode:Growing up without any model of what a healthy apology looks likeHow being punished into saying sorry as a kid turned apologies into a shame triggerThe moment in my relationship when I realized accountability wasn't optionalThe metaphor I use to think about what apologies are actually forOver-apologizing and why so many women are quietly burning their credibilityHow my parents, in their 70s, started doing something I never thought they'd doWhat changed across all of my relationships once I stopped withholding apologiesIf you've ever struggled to say sorry, or you're waiting on an apology you might never get, this one's for you.Support the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)Masking and people-pleasing often start as survival strategies in childhood, but over time they become the only version of you that people ever see. I break down how I used intelligence and helpfulness to earn belonging for decades without realizing it, and why that kept people from actually connecting with me.Topics covered in this episode:The Golden Buddha story and why we cover ourselves up to feel safeHow I discovered that being "the smart one" was my version of maskingWhy leading with intelligence, humor, or helpfulness earns you a spot but not a real connectionThe family messages that taught me to perform instead of show up as myselfWhen protective armor turns into a prisonWhat I'm still working through underneath my own maskHow to start figuring out what your mask isSupport the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)Unmet emotional needs are the invisible saboteurs behind some of our most frustrating patterns. I'm talking about the stuff where you know exactly what you need to change and you still can't do it. In this episode I'm getting into what unmet needs actually are, how they're different from values, and how they've been running my life in ways I didn't see for years. I share my own story of years of buying way too much stuff and filling up every room in my house, no matter how many times I tried to stop. I also walk through real examples from my clients and my own family to show you the two signs that a need is in the driver's seat.Topics covered:Why organizing and decluttering never worked for me, and what I was actually trying to solve forThe difference between needs and values, and why people mix them upTwo signs an unmet need is running things: behavior you can't stop, and emotional reactions that are way out of proportion to the situationHow unmet needs show up in sales calls, relationships, and everyday conflictWhy we lock onto one way to meet a need and act like it's the only optionCommon patterns I see in my clients: overworking, people-pleasing, emotional eating, and relationship conflictAn exercise to start figuring out your own unmet psychological needs (and when to do this with a therapist or coach, not alone)Want to read in-depth companion article to this episode?Send me a message on LinkedIn if you want to work on your unmet needs together.Support the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)Setting boundaries in relationships is one of those things most of us were never properly taught. In this episode, I break down what is a boundary, my 4-step formula, and how to actually set boundaries without being mean with family, friends, and coworkers.Topics covered in this episode:What a boundary actually is (and what it isn't)Why setting boundaries feels selfish, especially for people pleasersSigns you need stronger boundariesThe 4-step boundary setting formulaWhy ghosting someone is not the same as setting a boundaryIf you've been struggling with how to set boundaries or you keep letting things slide to avoid conflict, this episode is your starting point.Have questions about boundaries? Text the link in the show notes or find me on LinkedIn.Support the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)Why finding your purpose feels impossible: If you have no career direction, feel trapped by the golden handcuffs, and don't know what your next step is, I get it. I spent 39 years cycling through careers I didn't enjoy before I finally found my calling in coaching. In this episode, I talk about why so many of us end up stuck in careers we don't care about and how to choose your next career when you don't know where to start.Topics covered in this episode:Why we fall into careers based on convenience, money, or momentum instead of genuine fitHow promotions and lifestyle creep make it harder to leave the longer you stayThe real reason most people won't go after what they want (and it's not money or experience)Why we're more willing to fail at things we don't care about than risk failing at something we loveAn exercise I use with my coaching clients to identify what you're genuinely obsessed with, not just what you're good atHow to connect that obsession to an actual career pathDealing with people who judge you for starting over (I've done it more times than I can count)Why quitting what isn't meant for you is an act of self-trustIf you've been wondering whether there's more to your career than what you're doing now, this one's for you.Support the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)If you keep getting interviews but not offers, the biggest problem may not be your qualifications. In this episode, I break down the scarcity, desperation, impostor thinking, and interview mindset mistakes that make strong candidates come across shaky.If you've been wondering why you feel so nervous in job interviews, this one's for you. With over a million layoffs in the US in 2025 alone and more people competing for fewer roles, it's taking longer than ever to land a job offer. As an executive coach experienced in interview prep, I break down why the biggest blocker in interviews isn't your qualifications or your answers. It's your interview mindset.Topics covered in this episode:How to stop feeling desperate in your job search and why that desperation is wrecking your interviewsHow to shift negative self-talk before an interviewThe myth of the perfect candidate and why it's sabotaging youWhat to do when you feel imposter syndrome for a job you're interviewing forWhy getting the interview means you already belong in the roomA simple pre-interview exercise to help you walk in grounded and clearWhether you're struggling with imposter syndrome in interviews, not getting job offers despite being qualified, or just need to get your head on straight before your next one, this episode is for you.Guest Episode: Job interviewing tips to get hiredYouTube video: How to answer interview questions successfullySupport the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)Adult friendships are complicated, and figuring out what friendship means as you get older is something most of us are just winging. At some point, you start losing friends, or realizing the ones you have don't quite fit anymore, and you're left wondering what is a friend, really, and what do I actually need from the people around me?I sat down with four people to explore their experiences with friends to answer exactly that. What came out of these conversations wasn't what I expected. We get into what makes a good friend for you, which in turn, might give some hints on how to also be a better friend.This is part 1 in my friendship series. Listen to part 2 Adult Friendships: Why that Friendship Feels One-Sided.I also wrote a LinkedIn newsletter that goes in-depth on friendship: What is a Friend? Adult Friendships & Defining What Friendship MeansIn this episode:How friendship needs shift with every season of life, and why growing apart doesn't mean anyone failedThe grief of losing a long-time friendship you didn't choose to endWhat give and take in a friendship actually looks like in practiceHow to define what a friend really means to you, and why most of us have never stopped to think about itWhy expecting every friend to show up the same way sets you up for disappointmentWhat it looks like to be genuinely content with a small, intentional circleGuests:Jaclyn Mrozek, Mark Chepelyuk, Sandra Park, Von BondocSupport the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)How to stop comparing yourself to others: why the comparison trap is actually a safety problem.If you've been stuck in unhealthy comparison and wondering why do we compare ourselves to others even when we know it's bad for us, this episode is going to change what you understand about it. I kept seeing this pattern in my clients, my friends, pretty much everyone around me. They can't stop comparing and they're exhausted. So I dug into it, and what I found changed how I think about all of it.In this episode, I'm getting into:The hidden four-step cycle behind every destructive comparison cycle, including the one step nobody catchesWhy your brain treats comparison like a safety mechanism, and why "just stop comparing" has never worked for anyoneWhere your self-worth is actually attached and why that determines whether comparison wrecks you or rolls right offWhat you can actually do about itGrab my TEA Chart here.Support the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)Relationship advice from Reddit gets a lot of things wrong. As a coach who works with couples and individuals on communication, boundaries, and emotional patterns, I break down three of the most common relationship posts and unpack what people are asking versus what they actually need to resolve.In this episode, I cover:A girlfriend wondering if she's being manipulative for demanding her boyfriend go to therapy, and why the real issue isn't about manipulation at allHow to tell the difference between a relationship that needs work and one that's just incompatibleWhy a boyfriend asking "what words should I use?" is focused on technique when the actual problem is a misalignment on emotional privacy and loyaltyThe most popular Reddit advice on compatibility, ranked, including "trust your gut," "if they cared, they would," and "if it feels like work, it's the wrong relationship"Why some of the most upvoted advice is actually the most damaging, and the questions I'd invite each of these people to sit with insteadIf you keep having the same arguments and nothing changes, it's probably because you're solving for the wrong problem. This episode will help you figure out what the real issue is so you can finally stop going in circles.This is part one of a three-part series on how to handle the people in your life, starting with partners. Friendship and workplace dynamics are coming next.Support the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)Overcoming a negative mindset, and how I turned my toxic negativity around. If you’re stuck in a negative mindset and you’re tired of nothing changing, this episode gives you a tool that actually helps. I’m taking you through the exact method I use with my clients to start rewriting your mental habits, shifting your emotions, and taking real action, without toxic positivity or fake affirmations.This is the framework that helped me get out of a constant negativity, self-judgment, and emotional reactivity. I break down how your thoughts, emotions, and actions are all connected, and how to shift your internal patterns in a way that actually sticks.Here’s what’s in this episode:Why telling yourself to “just stop being negative” never worksWhat to do instead if you’re stuck in toxic negativityHow thoughts, emotions, and actions reinforce each otherWhat to focus on when you can’t change your external situationHow to use my TEA Chart to map your current mindset and shift itTwo client examples that show how a small mindset shift changes everythingWhy your brain will reject certain thoughtsWhat to do when your emotions hit before your thoughts doWant the framework I discuss in this episode?Grab my TEA Chart here.The pdf includes a full breakdown, real examples, and a blank version you can use for yourself.This episode won’t turn you into Ted Lasso overnight, but it's a VERY strong first step towards managing your mindset consciously.Support the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)Women and money mindset. If you're a high-earning woman wondering "why can't I save money," you're not alone. The women and money conversation rarely addresses what happens when you're smart, educated, and still struggling financially. In this episode, financial coach Sandra Park and I share the money mindset shifts that finally helped us stop overspending and start building wealth.We get brutally honest about our own money mistakes: my near-daily Amazon orders during my time at Amazon, Sandra's multiple real estate moves, and the "I deserve this" mentality that kept us both stuck.Sandra shares why women in STEM and other high-pressure careers often struggle with money despite their intelligence and education. We talk about why we outsourced our financial decisions to the men in our lives, the mental load that keeps women from learning financial systems, and what actually works when you're ready to take control.Topics covered:Why making more money often leads to more money problemsThe "keeping up with the Joneses" trap in corporate environmentsRetail therapy, stress spending, and the entitlement mindsetHow women outsource financial decisions (and why we need to stop)The mental load difference and why women want simpler financesSandra's order of operations for getting your money rightThe spending category that destroys most budgetsOne 30-day exercise that changes everythingWhen to get help instead of figuring it out aloneConnect with Sandra Park: Website | LinkedIn: Sandra Park | Engineer Her Path PodcastSupport the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)Fear has many faces. Procrastination disguised as learning is one of the biggest traps holding smart, capable people back. If you’ve been bingeing courses, reading books, and calling it “growth”...but not taking action, this episode breaks down exactly why you’re stuck and how to get out.I’m sharing my story of how I left my job at Amazon to start a photography business… and then spent two years doing everything except building that business. I was completely paralyzed by imposter syndrome always telling myself I just needed one more class, one more tutorial, one more certification.Here’s what I get into:The difference between what most of us call learning and the real learning loopHow perfectionism and fear turn learning into procrastinationWhy endless prep feels productive — but keeps you stuckWhat finally snapped me out of the cycle (and what might help you too)A mindset shift that helps you move from theory to action, even when it’s uncomfortableIf you’ve been putting in the work but still not making progress, or if you're tired of the illusion of productivity, listen to this episode.This is a production of Jule Kim, © 2026.Support the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)If you’ve ever hit a big milestone and thought, “that’s it?” - this episode is for you. I’m breaking down why success can still feel empty, why you might struggle to feel proud even after achieving something meaningful, and how imposter thinking and “not earning it the right way” strip the satisfaction out of your wins.In this episode, I talk about what it is like to finish something big - self-love affirmation cards - and still not feel proud, confident, or successful.A few years ago, I worked with Penguin Random House to create self-love affirmation cards. The process forced me to confront imposter syndrome after success, the gap between external achievement and internal self-trust, and why success does not automatically make you feel better about yourself.In this episode, I talk about:Imposter syndrome after success and achievement letdownWhy success does not fix self-worth or self-trustHow I really feel about affirmationsEditing conflict and protecting your creative voicePower dynamics in publishing and being afraid to push backWhat I learned about book deals, contracts, and agentsLaunching something publicly and still feeling conflictedLearning how to take a win without minimizing itSupport the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)In this deeply personal year-end reflection podcast, I’m sharing the truth about what it was like to live through the hardest year of my life. If you're navigating grief, burnout, chronic illness, or financial stress right now, this episode may feel like a mirror.2025 wasn’t a highlight reel. I cut ties with my closest friend. I lost my brother unexpectedly. My dad was hospitalized. I was sick on and off for most of the year. And my business barely stayed afloat. This episode is about what happens when everything falls apart and you're still expected to keep going.I’m not offering polished lessons or silver linings. Instead, I’m talking openly about:Why I stayed too long in a toxic friendshipWhat grief really looked like after losing my brotherThe pressure of being the strong one in a family crisisHow financial obligations forced me to work through exhaustionWhat I wish I had done differently, and why I’m not beating myself up for itIf you're looking for a real conversation about emotional resilience, mental health, and healing during hard seasons, this one’s for you. My only goal is that you feel seen.I may not have all the answers, but I’m still here. And if you’re listening, so are you.Organ donation medical history questionsSupport the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)If you struggle with consistency, habit building, or following through on goals—especially if you have ADHD or feel like traditional goal setting doesn’t work for you—this episode is for you.I’m talking about habits, routines, and why I spent years starting things and quietly stopping, even when I really wanted change. This episode comes from my own experience with ADHD, autism, and struggling with goals and consistency in a way I couldn’t explain.For a long time, I assumed the issue was discipline. Or motivation. Or that I just hadn’t found the right program yet. So I kept researching, prepping, planning, and trying again—without ever really moving forward.In this episode, I’m sharing the pattern I didn’t see for years and how my relationship with habits, routines, and consistency started to change once I understood myself better. If you’ve ever felt stuck with the same goals year after year, or frustrated that you can start things but can’t seem to make them last, this conversation will probably feel familiar.This is what actually helped me move out of that guilty churn where I always felt like a failure, and why doing things the “right” way was never the thing that worked for me.Topics in this episode:Consistency and habit buildingGoal setting that doesn’t stickADHD, autism, and follow‑throughWhy routines break downResistance and overthinkingIdentity and long‑term changeThis is a production of Jule Kim © 2025.Support the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)If you’ve ever caught yourself making a decision that felt off—like it came from a place of fear, proving yourself, or ego, this episode is for you. I’m joined by my very first guest on the podcast, the incredible podcast visibility coach Chardét Ryel: host of Feel Good Nakd and Her First Three Years.We talk about what ego-driven decisions really look like, how burnout shows up, and why proving yourself is one of the fastest paths to exhaustion. We also talk about what changes when you stop leading with hustle and start building around balance and alignment instead.Chardét reveals what shifted for her after 12 years as an entrepreneur: the one change she made this year, what happened when she finally dropped the pressure, and how creating from intention instead of fear has made everything feel lighter. If you’re feeling burned out, low-key resentful, or just ready to stop grinding your way through business or life, this conversation will speak to you. It’s fun, honest, a little spicy in places—and full of moments that will make you pause and reflect. Sometimes the biggest shift starts with a single question: What if I just stopped doing the thing that drains me the most?This is one of those episodes you’ll want to revisit whenever things feel heavy. Hit play and let’s talk about what it really means to build from a place of alignment instead of fear, ego, or self-hate.Topics Discussed in the Episode:What ego-driven decisions look like in business and lifeWhy “proving yourself” is a recipe for burnoutHow to know if you’re operating from fear, not alignmentSetting boundaries when you’re burned out and overextendedCommunication dynamics when working with men vs. womenThe difference between surrender and being passiveHow to build a business around the life you actually wantWays to Support This Podcast:Share this episode with a friend who's burned out or stuck in hustle mode.Follow the podcast to catch future episodes on mindset, communication, and real growth.This is a production of Jule Kim © 2025.Support the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)Healthy emotional processing is more than just “feeling your feelings” - it’s a critical skill most of us were never taught. If you’ve ever rushed to fix a problem because that's what you thought you were supposed to do, or found yourself repeating the same emotional cycles, this episode will show you why.I’m unpacking what happens when you skip  emotional reflection and go straight into problem-solving, how emotional repression shows up, and why it backfires over time. You’ll learn how to start recognizing your emotional responses more clearly and how to stop being ruled by them.This conversation is especially for you if:You overthink but still feel stuckYou avoid confrontation to keep the peaceYour emotions often feel “too much” or out of controlYou want to feel more emotionally grounded and in controlCalm App Feelings WheelAtlas of EmotionsSupport the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)Why is it so hard to leave situations we know deep down aren't right for us? Whether it’s a relationship that’s run its course or a job that drains us daily, many of us find ourselves stuck—unable to move forward even when the decision seems obvious on paper. In this episode of This Is How You Think, we're unpacking one of the most common (yet least understood) reasons why we stay in cycles that don’t serve us.This conversation dives into the very human experience of emotional attachment, why logic alone isn’t enough to create change, and the often overlooked skill that makes all the difference when it comes to real emotional resilience. We also explore what it actually means to “sit with your feelings,” why most people avoid it, and how bypassing this process keeps us trapped in the same emotional loops.If you’ve ever felt frustrated with yourself for not being able to “just move on” or found it hard to support a loved one who’s struggling to let go, this episode is for you. You’ll walk away with a new lens on emotional growth—and why the work you might be avoiding is exactly what will set you free.Topics Discussed in the Episode:Why we stay in relationships or jobs that aren’t workingHow emotional avoidance keeps us stuckWhat it actually means to “sit with your feelings”The difference between emotional processing and emotional outsourcingHow to build emotional resilience without bypassing painSupport the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)We've all heard the same gratitude tips a thousand times. Practice daily gratitude. Keep a gratitude journal. Name three things you're thankful for. Simple, right?And yet, people don't actually stick with their gratitude practice. At least not consistently.In this episode, I'm getting into why gratitude habits don't last, and it has nothing to do with willpower. There's a reason the usual advice doesn't work for most people—and once you understand what's actually happening, everything starts to make sense.I share my own journey from chronic negativity to genuine gratitude, what was really blocking me, and what finally shifted. If gratitude exercises have felt forced or fake, if you've tried and quit more times than you can count—this one's for you.→ Why your gratitude practice keeps failing (it's not you)→ What's actually blocking you from feeling thankful→ My personal story from negativity to genuine gratitude→ What needs to happen before gratitude advice can work→ Community members share their favorite ways to practice gratitudeSupport the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)What is mental toughness? What is mental strength?Mental toughness can help you survive almost anything — but at what point does it start to cost you?In this episode, we talk about the line between mental toughness and  mental strength, especially when boundaries feel impossible and self-abandonment starts to feel normal. When you're always the one fixing things, helping others, and staying calm under pressure, it’s easy to miss the impact that role is having on you.This is a real, honest look at what it feels like to carry emotional weight that isn't actually yours. If you’ve ever felt like being strong means not having needs, or that setting boundaries makes you selfish, this episode might hit closer than you expect.Topics Discussed in the Episode:The emotional toll of mental toughnessToughness vs self-abandonmentHow perpetually being a “fixer” becomes toxicSurvival mode vs. actual strengthThe fear of disappointing others and its consequencesSupport the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)Managing family interactions during the holidays while protecting your mental health. Family criticism. Hurtful comments. Emotional triggers. If spending time with your family often leaves you feeling tense, angry, or not enough, you’re not alone — especially during the holidays. How do you handle unsupportive comments from family?In this episode, I talk about what makes criticism from parents and relatives hit so hard, and why even the smallest comments can leave a lasting mark. I posted about my Korean parents on LinkedIn, which opened up a flood of responses across cultures, kicking off this episode around how to handle critical remarks from family, especially our parents.This isn’t about blaming anyone or cutting people off. It’s about seeing clearly, responding intentionally, and protecting your peace — even when nothing around you changes.If you’re walking into family gatherings already bracing for impact, this conversation might help you choose a different way to show up.Support the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)If you’ve ever wondered how to build confidence or why it seems to disappear the moment things get hard, this episode is for you. We’re unpacking what most personal development advice gets wrong when it comes to how to be confident—and why the usual tips don’t stick when life gets messy.In this episode of This is How You Think, I share a personal story that sparked a complete mindset shift—and explain the subtle but powerful habits that shape how we show up for ourselves every day.What you’ll hear isn’t about forcing positive thinking or pretending to be fearless. It’s about rethinking the foundation of confidence itself—and discovering what really makes it solid.If you're serious about your personal development journey and want a more honest way to feel grounded and capable, this is the episode that can help you get there.In this episode:Why confidence often disappears after small setbacksWhat most people misunderstand about how to be confidentA new perspective on confidenceThree daily habits that shape your self-perceptionHow to stop rejecting compliments and start owning your growthThe subtle body language that signals self-worthA mindset shift that helps stop the cycle of self-doubtSupport the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)The inertia trap: When you know it's wrong but stay anyway.That feeling when something's off, but you can't explain why. You tell yourself to be grateful, to stop complaining, to just keep going.If you've ever stayed too long—in a job, a friendship, a relationship—even when every fiber of your being is screaming at you to leave, this episode is for you, especially if you're a people pleaser, have overfunctioning tendencies, or feel like there should be something more to life.I get really honest about staying in a relationship I knew was wrong from month one. The turning point in a hospital room that finally broke through years of ignoring my gut. And the one question that I wish I had known would change everything.This is about what happens when you spend your whole life listening to everyone but yourself—and what it takes to finally stop.In this episode:How childhood shapes our responsesWhy "normal" isn't the same as "right"The real reason we stay when we know we should goOne daily practice to rebuild self-trustThis episode is dedicated to my brother Jon, who passed away in July 2025: You only have one life to live as your true self. Make the most of it.Support the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.

Text Jule :)This isn't your typical feel-good podcast. Jule is ready to show you the truth, have some direct conversations, with zero fluff. Each episode digs into how your mind actually works - why it keeps you stuck and what you can do about it.If you're tired of your own patterns and you're ready to understand the real mechanics behind your thoughts and behaviors, this is your show. Fair warning: Jule doesn't hold back, and neither should you.Perfect for anyone ready to stop spinning their wheels and start understanding how they actually think and move towards a healthier mindset.Support the showInterested in coaching with Jule?LinkedIn: @julekim / Instagram: @itsjulekim / TikTok: @itsjulekimJule’s website: https://adviceactually.com/Buy Jule’s Self-Love Affirmation Cards on AmazonWays to Support This Podcast:🌟 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it—and please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your support helps more people find the show.