The Sex After Kids Podcast

Send us Fan MailWhat actually changes when couples fix their sex life?It’s not just more sex.It’s how you talk about it. How you experience it. And how you feel with each other.In this episode of the Sex After Kids podcast, we break down the real shifts couples experience when they rebuild intimacy—without pressure, awkwardness, or constant conflict.This is not the “everything is fixed overnight” version.This is what actually changes in real life.Inside this episode:How couples start talking about sex without it turning into a fightWhy understanding your body changes everythingThe surprising role of structure in bringing back spontaneityWhat creates those “it just happens” moments againHow resentment starts to fade when connection feels safe and playfulWhy intimacy feels better—even when it doesn’t lead to sexIf you’ve been feeling stuck, disconnected, or like:“Every time I bring this up, it turns into a fight”“I don’t know how to talk about sex anymore”“We feel more like roommates than partners”…this episode will help you understand what’s actually going on—and what can change.If this feels familiar, the next step is to join one of the free workshops.You’ll see exactly how this process works, what to expect, and whether it’s the right time for you.Join here: https://intimacyafterkids.com/free-workshop?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=intimacy_workshop&utm_content=ep80_what_changes_when_fix_sex_life

Send us Fan MailWhy does sex feel so much harder after kids—even when you still love each other?Most couples don’t fall out of love.They fall into patterns where connection gets replaced with pressure, shutdown, and silence.In this episode of the Sex After Kids podcast, we break down:Why intimacy changes after kidsThe real reason sex starts to feel complicated or avoidedThe pressure/shutdown dynamic that keeps couples stuckWhy trying harder often makes things worseHow to rebuild connection in a way that actually works in real lifeIf you’ve ever felt like:“I don’t know how to bring this up without it turning into a fight”“I feel more like roommates than partners”“I stopped initiating because rejection feels worse than silence”…this episode will help you understand what’s actually going on—and what to do next.This isn’t about fixing your partner.It’s about learning the skills and habits that support connection in this stage of life.If this sounds familiar, the next step is to join one of the free workshops.You’ll learn the exact roadmap to rebuild connection, intimacy, and sex—without pressure or overwhelm.Join here: https://intimacyafterkids.com/free-workshop?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=intimacy_workshop&utm_content=ep79_why_stop_having_sex_after_kids

Send us Fan MailAre you and your partner amazing co-parents but struggling to feel like lovers—especially with kids in the mix? You're not alone! In this episode, I break down the five habits that help couples with kids move beyond survival mode and rediscover playful, connected intimacy, no matter how busy life gets.We'll talk about radical curiosity, honest feedback, the power of laughter, quick repairs after tough moments, and how to protect your intimacy bubble—even when little ones are always nearby. Plus, I'll share practical tips you can use right away and introduce you to my Naked Fun Toolkit, designed to make reconnecting feel easy and fun.Ready to bring back the spark? Tune in, and let's get started!Download the Naked Fun Toolkit here: CLICK HEREWhich habit do you want to try this week? I'd love to hear your thoughts—send me a message or leave a comment!

Send us Fan MailThis is a love letter for anyone who's lost touch with desire and feels the weight of expectation after kids. I know what it's like to feel shut down and alone in your relationship. You don't want sex, you don't know why and everytime he asks it feels like he’s making it a personal failure on your part. In this episode, I unpack the truth behind "not tonight," why it's not your fault, and how to rebuild intimacy one step at a time.Let's start a real conversation—comment below or send me a message. Subscribe for more real talk about sex, relationships, and reclaiming joy.Books Featured:Shake Your Soul Song By Devi Ward - https://www.amazon.ca/Shake-Your-Soul-Song-Self-Empowerment-Self-Pleasure/dp/0615708773Vagina: A New Biography By Naomi Wolf - https://www.amazon.ca/Vagina-New-Biography-Naomi-Wolf/dp/0061989169

Send us Fan MailEver find yourself wanting intimacy more than your husband—and wondering what changed after kids? You're not alone. In this episode, I'm talking about the real reasons behind this shift, why "trying harder" isn’t working, and how to start changing the dynamic in your marriage without losing yourself.If you're ready to break out of the cycle and reconnect without the pressure, join me for my masterclass, The Pressure Free Protocol. You'll get practical steps to help you feel seen, desired, and confident again.GRAB IT HEREWhat part of this conversation hits home for you? I'd love to hear your story—send me a message or leave a comment!

Send us Fan Mail"I just don't care about sex anymore."If that thought has crossed your mind, you're not alone—and it might not be about libido at all. In this episode, we explore how pleasure often disappears from everyday life (especially for parents), and why that has a direct impact on desire.We talk about stress, caretaker mode, and how reconnecting with small moments of enjoyment can start to bring desire back—without pressure or performance.If you want a simple place to start, check out the Naked Fun Toolkit 

Send us Fan MailMost couples are walking into their sex life with the same quiet assumption:If the relationship is good... And if there's love and attraction...Then sex should just work.And when it doesn't?It's easy to believe something is wrong—with you, your partner, or the relationship itself.In this episode, we challenge that belief completely.Because great sex isn't something you either "have" or you don't.It's a skill. And like any skill, it can be learned.We explore:Why the idea of "natural sex" creates unnecessary shame and pressureWhat it actually means to think of sex as a social skillThe core skills most people were never taught (but absolutely need)How curiosity can transform your connection and desireA simple post-intimacy practice that helps couples improve over timeIf you've ever felt like you're "fumbling in the dark"... this episode will give you a completely different way to understand what's really going on—and what to do next.Want a place to start?Check out the Naked Fun Toolkit — a playful set of prompts and experiments designed to help you explore connection without pressure. GRAB IT HERENew episodes drop weekly. Follow the show so you don't miss what's coming next.

Send us Fan MailEver feel like you're watching yourself during sex instead of actually enjoying it?In this episode, we're diving into the concept of spectatoring—a form of sexual self-consciousness where you're mentally observing and judging yourself during intimate moments instead of being present in your body.If you've ever found yourself thinking things like "What do I do with my hands?" or "Do I look weird right now?" you're not alone. These thoughts are incredibly common, and they can seriously interfere with pleasure and connection.We'll explore where spectatoring comes from, how the male gaze shapes the way many women experience their bodies, and why this mental "observer" can make it harder to relax and feel turned on.I also share three practical ways to shift out of spectator mode and back into your body so you can experience deeper connection and pleasure with your partner.Whether you're navigating intimacy after kids or simply want to feel more present in your sex life, this episode will give you a powerful new lens for understanding what's happening in your mind during intimacy.Ready to reconnect with intimacy after kids?Join my free masterclass where I walk you through the biggest reasons intimacy changes after parenthood—and what you can do to bring back connection, pleasure, and desire in your relationship.SIGN UP HERE!Connect with me:Instagram: @intimacyafterkidsWebsite: https://intimacyafterkids.com

Send us Fan MailWhat if rebuilding sexual desire wasn't about trying harder — but about changing the experiences your body associates with sex?In this episode, we explore the concept of the positive feedback loop of great sex and how your nervous system plays a powerful role in whether intimacy feels inviting or overwhelming. When sexual experiences feel safe, pleasurable, and connected, your body begins to associate sex with positive outcomes — making desire easier and more natural over time. But when stress, pressure, resentment, or past negative experiences are present, your body can fall into the opposite cycle: a negative feedback loop that makes desire harder to access.The good news? You can shift that pattern.Rather than aiming for mind-blowing sex right away, rebuilding desire often starts with small, low-pressure wins that help your nervous system relax and feel safe again. In this episode, we talk about how couples can begin creating those positive experiences and slowly rewire their relationship with intimacy.In this episode, we discuss:What a sexual feedback loop is and why it mattersHow the nervous system influences desire and pleasureWhy pressure and stress can shut down sexual responsivenessThe role of consent, communication, and safety in rebuilding trustSimple ways to create low-pressure intimacy and positive experiencesIf you've been feeling stuck in a cycle where sex feels tense, obligatory, or difficult to get excited about, this episode will help you understand what’s happening in your body — and how to start shifting the pattern.Take the Solve Your Sex Drive Quiz and download the consent and connection exercise mentioned in the episode:TAKE IT HERE

Send us Fan MailWhy does sex after kids suddenly feel so complicated?Many couples fall into a quiet pattern after becoming parents: one partner keeps initiating, the other starts avoiding, and both end up feeling rejected, pressured, or disconnected.Over time flirting disappears, intimacy becomes tense, and sex slowly fades out of the relationship.In this throwback episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast, we unpack one of the most common dynamics couples experience after kids: the initiate–avoid cycle.You'll learn why this pattern happens, why most advice about desire doesn't actually work for parents, and how couples can start rebuilding connection in a way that fits real life with kids.In this episode we talk about:• The initiate–avoid cycle that quietly shuts down desire in long-term relationships• Why having kids is often the first major stress test for a couple's sex life• How pressure, rejection, and miscommunication keep couples stuck• Small shifts that help couples move from avoidance back into connection• How to create a positive feedback loop where intimacy starts to feel easy againIf your relationship feels stuck in a dry spell, or intimacy has started to feel awkward or tense, this conversation will help you understand what's actually happening underneath the surface.Sex after kids doesn't disappear because you're broken.It usually disappears because no one ever taught you the skills that help intimacy survive big life transitions.The good news: those skills can absolutely be learned.Watch the free masterclass:The Pressure Free Protocol: How to Have Easy Playful Sex Again (Even in Survival Mode)https://intimacyafterkids.com/masterclass

Send us Fan MailIn this throwback episode of the 'Sex After Kids' podcast, I delve into the significance of sex education and its lasting effects on adult sex lives, particularly after having children. We cover several key points, including the failure of sex education to address pleasure, the importance of self pleasure, the need for detailed anatomical knowledge, and the impact of societal shame on sexual well-being. Go from not tonight to let's stay up late for less than a latte. Sign up now: https://intimacyafterkids.com/roommates-to-romanceGet my 14 day challenge to bring back the romance after kids.

Send us Fan MailIf sex after kids feels confusing, inconsistent, or like your body just isn't responding the way it used to — you're not broken.Many women experience low desire, slower arousal, discomfort during sex, or a loss of libido during perimenopause and after having children. But most couples aren't taught how intimacy changes during this stage of life — so they assume something is wrong with the relationship.In this episode, we talk about what's actually happening with desire, arousal, and intimacy after kids and during perimenopause — and how to stop fumbling in the dark.You'll learn:Why libido and arousal change after kids and in perimenopauseThe difference between spontaneous desire and responsive desireHow "Gold Dates" vs. "Data Dates" can reduce pressure around sexHow to use Pleasure Mapping to rebuild intimacy without performanceThe biggest mistake couples make when trying to "fix" low desireHow expanding your definition of sex increases connection and pleasureIf you're navigating low libido, mismatched desire, painful sex, or emotional distance after kids — this episode will help you understand what’s happening and what to do next.And if you're ready to move from understanding to practice, you can grab the Colour Me Curious workshop replay for $27 (limited-time).Inside the workshop, you'll get:Guided Pleasure Mapping exercisesCommunication scripts for talking about sex without blamePre-date tools to reduce anxietyA structured framework for rebuilding intimacy after kids and during perimenopauseInstead of guessing, you'll have a clear starting point.Grab Colour Me Curious here: Colour Me CuriousYour sex life doesn't need more pressure.It needs better information — and a safer way to explore together.

Send us Fan MailIf sex feels like a chore in your 40s or 50s, you're not broken.In this episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast, we're unpacking why desire disappears during perimenopause — even when love hasn't — and how to reconnect with intimacy without pushing through pain or guilt.You'll learn:How hormone shifts impact desire, arousal, and lubricationWhy stress and mental load can shut pleasure downThe "stress-sex loop" that makes everything harder (literally and emotionally)How orgasm can support your health — when it's actually wantedThe one shift that helped me move out of a six-month dry spellWhether you're feeling disconnected from your sex drive, worried sex will hurt, or supporting a partner through these changes — this episode is for you.Grab the Colour Me Curious: The Playful Pleasure Map HERE!Check out the Masterclass HEREIf this episode resonates, tap follow and leave a review — and share it with someone who needs to hear: You are not broken. Your body is changing. And you still deserve pleasure.

Send us Fan MailWhy does sex feel different after having kids — or in perimenopause and midlife? Flatter, harder, painful, or just... off?You're not broken. And your body isn't failing you.In this episode, we talk about what actually happens to your body, brain, and nervous system after childbirth, postpartum, and hormonal shifts — and how to start rebuilding intimacy, even if things feel disconnected.You'll learn:Why most of us never learned how our pleasure actually worksWhat changes physically and hormonally after birth and during perimenopauseWhy "low libido" is often about pressure — not desireHow performance anxiety and rushed sex shut pleasure downA simple, no-pressure experiment to start rebuilding intimacyThe difference between knowing anatomy vs. having a real relationship with your bodyThis is for people with vulvas, penises, and couples of all genders who feel out of sync with their body — or with each other — after having kids.Sex doesn't stop working because you're doing something wrong. It stops working when the old rules no longer fit your life (or nervous system).Join the live workshop: Colour Me CuriousExplore your body, talk about it with your partner, and rebuild pleasure step by step.Come solo or with a partner. Replay included.Grab it here!

Send us Fan MailWhat if the biggest mood killer in your sex life isn't lack of desire, time, or chemistry—but the pressure to be perfect?In this episode, we're digging into why chasing "perfect sex" actually leads to more awkwardness, less connection, and way less fun. Plus, how to shift from performance mode into curiosity and communication.We cover:Why performance anxiety shows up even in long-term relationshipsHow to talk during sex without killing the vibeWhy perfectionism quietly shuts down pleasureWhat it really means to treat sex like a team sportEasy, in-the-moment ways to speak up and stay connectedIf sex has started to feel tense, rushed, or like you're just guessing, this episode will help you breathe again.Plus, I share what my partner and I are experimenting with right now, and why giving feedback in bed is a green flag, not a red one.Valentine's Day Workshop – Color Me Curious Join me live on February 14 for a playful, pressure-free workshop where you'll learn:How to shift from parent mode to lover modeThe anatomy lesson you missed in schoolA simple way to practice sexual feedbackHow to stop relying on mind reading and start creating crave-worthy sex$27 | Live + Replay Included. GRAB IT HERESex doesn't get better by trying harder.It gets better when you get curious.

Send us Fan MailWelcome to Season 2! We're kicking things off with a hard truth: If sex feels awkward, disconnected, or just plain off, you might be sabotaging your own sex life without realizing it.In this episode, I'm sharing three traps that quietly kill intimacy — even in the most loving relationships — and what you can do to turn things around.We'll talk about:Why "special occasion sex" backfiresThe performance mindset that ruins the momentThe myth of instant arousalWhy mind reading is not a turn-on (spoiler: communication is)Plus, I've got details for my LIVE Valentine's Day Workshop coming up on February 14. It's just $27, with two time slots to choose from. No pressure. No awkward moments. Just a playful, private way to reconnect — solo or with your partner.Save your spot here: https://intimacyafterkids.com/colour-me-curiousSubscribe to the show for weekly conversations about intimacy, confidence, and real-life sex without the shame.

Send us Fan MailIs your relationship feeling more like roommates than romantic partners? You're not alone—and you're not stuck.In this episode, I'm walking you through the proven framework that's helping couples reconnect and rebuild intimacy in a real, practical way. We'll talk about:The four phases of intimacy every couple experiencesWhy sex after kids matters more than you think — for your whole familyHow to break out of frustration and get back to each otherThis is the episode for you if you're craving honest conversations, clear steps, and a renewed connection with your partner in 2026.💌 Want early access to my Valentine’s Day offer? Join the list here → https://intimacyafterkids.com/Got thoughts or questions about this episode? I’d love to hear from you. Shoot me a message or tag me on Instagram @Intimacyafterkids

Send us Fan MailHave you ever had sex end in shutdown, rushing, or unexpected emotion, and neither of you knew what just happened?In this intimate episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast, I explore why sex can feel heavy, confusing, or emotionally charged for couples, even when there is love and desire on both sides.This episode is for you if:One partner shuts down, goes numb, or gets emotional during sexThe other feels rejected or unsure how to helpSex gets rushed just to get through itA body feels unfamiliar after babies, trauma, surgery, or perimenopauseI share my personal story of spending years fighting her body and how learning one key somatic skill, along with her partner learning how to support instead of fix, created the biggest shift in their sex life.You'll learn why these patterns are nervous system responses, not failures, and how couples can start moving back toward safe, light, and enjoyable intimacy together.✨ If this resonates, book a free Spark Session to get unstuck and find your way back to easy, fun sex again.BOOK HERE

Send us Fan MailWhy do you feel unchosen, unsexy, and alone, even when your relationship looks "fine"?If you're the one always initiating hard conversations, tracking emotional distance, or trying to "fix" disconnection... you may be managing the emotional labor of the relationship by yourself.And over time, that role quietly erodes safety, intimacy, and desire, not because love disappears, but because the mutuality does.In this final episode of our 4-part Mental Load series, we explore:What "managing the relationship" actually looks like (hint: it's not just planning date night)Why emotional labor is real labor, especially when it comes to sex and repairHow the manager–assistant dynamic kills erotic energy on both sidesThe anxious–avoidant loop that drives overfunctioning and shutdownA reframe that changes everything (without blaming your partner)One weekly check-in that can start restoring connection right nowThis isn't about calling your partner out.It's about calling out a system that's hurting both of you, and learning how to change the dance.✨ Want to rebuild connection and desire, together? Book a free Spark Session to explore if Naked Fun Comeback is the right next step for your relationship.Click to BOOK HERE!

Send us Fan MailHow do you actually share the mental load without constant fighting, resentment, or feeling like you’re doing it all?This is part 3 of a 4-part series on the mental load — and today, we're getting practical.I'm sharing how my partner and I used the Fair Play Method by Eve Rodsky to manage the mental load in our house — what worked, what didn't, and how we adapted it for real life with kids, neurodivergence, and wildly different nervous systems.We talk about:Why Fair Play is not about 50/50 — and what to aim for insteadWhat it actually means to "own" a taskThe mistake most couples make when they inventory choresHow staying in your own lane can feel lighter than "helping"And how we started with just 5–10 daily grind cardsPlus, my honest take on the Fair Play book itself — when it's helpful, and when it might make things harder (especially if your partner is already feeling defensive).This episode is about making the invisible visible — without turning your relationship into a negotiation table.In the final episode of this series, we'll talk about the mental load of sex... and who carries responsibility for tending the relationship itself.

Send us Fan MailIf talking about the mental load already feels like walking into a fight, this episode is for you.Because most mental load conversations don’t fail due to bad intentions — they fail because couples are stuck in an unspoken manager–assistant dynamic that kills safety, teamwork, and desire.In this episode, we unpack:Why the mental load isn't just about chores, but responsibility for the life you choseA simple checklist for each of you to assess your role in this dance and what you can shift. A step-by-step structure for opening this conversation without triggering defensivenessHow resentment and disconnection show up in your sex lifeThis is a grounded, practical episode for couples who want to feel like teammates again — not managers and assistants.✨ Want support having this conversation? Book a Spark Session — a 30-minute guided conversation to help you talk about what’s actually happening and decide what to change next.BOOK HERE - https://www.intimacyafterkids.com/calendar

Send us Fan MailIf the two of you feel like you're living in the same house but carrying completely different worlds, this episode will hit home.Welcome to Mental Load 101. This is the first in a four episode series that explains why resentment is high, intimacy is low, and why you keep having the same fights no matter how many systems or chore charts you try.In today's episode:• What the mental load really is and why it is invisible but exhausting• How gender scripts sneak back in after kids even in equal relationships• Why one partner goes into hyper controlling mode while the other shuts down• How this dynamic kills desire, safety, and emotional connection• Why it feels like you are fighting each other when you are actually fighting a patternThis series will change how you see everything.Want real time support? Book a free Spark Session. It is a 30 minute call where we map out what is happening in your relationship and how to move forward with less resentment and more connection. 👉http://www.intimacyafterkids.com/calendarOr grab my free guide, Touch Again Tonight. 👉 https://intimacyafterkids.com/touch-again-tonight Next episode we'll explore your first step toward peace, partnership, and intimacy again.

Send us Fan MailPorn often feels like the easier option — no pressure, no rejection, no emotional work. But when it becomes your go-to outlet, it can quietly chip away at intimacy, connection, and confidence... without you even noticing.This episode isn't about shame. It's about clarity. We're unpacking the real impact of porn in relationships — especially if you're a dad, a man, or the higher-desire partner in your relationship.We're diving into:Why so many men learned sex through pornHow porn becomes a coping tool for emotional overwhelmWhat the neuroscience says about arousal and habit loopsWhy porn use isn't always about attractionThe difference between healthy vs. harmful useHow mindful masturbation can reshape desireWhat reconnection looks like (without pressure or shame)Whether you're feeling disconnected or stuck in a cycle that doesn't feel great — this conversation will help you see what’s really going on... and what to do next.💡 Join the 14-Day Roommates to Romance Challenge For higher-libido partners (especially men) ready to rebuild connection — without pressure, awkward talks, or performance stress.Includes: ✓ Mindful Masturbation Method ✓ Rejection Recovery Toolkit ✓ Daily bite-sized guidanceJust $9 — Start now: intimacyafterkids.com/roommates-to-romance

Send us Fan MailIf you're the higher-libido partner and every "not tonight" feels like a gut-punch, this episode might change everything.Because it's not the rejection that turns her off — it's how you respond afterward.Most men were never taught what to do when sex disappears after babies, stress, or burnout. When connection feels out of reach, every "no" can trigger shame, pressure, or shutdown.But your reaction in that moment?It's either creating safety... or silently killing desire.In this episode:Why rejection feels personal (and how to stop spiralling)The "pressure energy" that shuts her body downHow the chaser dynamic kills attractionWhat her nervous system is really responding toThe 3-step shift to rebuild connection and safety (yes, starting tonight)Ready to change the dynamic this week?Join the 14-Day Roommates to Romance Challenge - my exact framework for reducing pressure, rebuilding safety, and bringing back the flirt.👉 Just $9: intimacyafterkids.com/roommates-to-romance

Send us Fan MailYou keep initiating. She keeps pulling away.If you're a dad (or higher-libido partner) hearing "stop pressuring me," this is for you.You're not broken, creepy, or needy — you're reaching for connection with the only tool you've got.Let's show you a better one.Try my Roommates to Romance Challenge to create connection, rebuild trust, and bring the flirt back (for less than a latte).-- https://intimacyafterkids.com/roommates-to-romanceHave takeaways?Comment below or DM me on Instagram, what part hit hardest for you:IG - https://www.instagram.com/intimacyafterkids/?hl=enOr check out my website for more information:https://intimacyafterkids.com

Send us Fan MailWhy do dads seem to shut down after kids,  or push for sex that doesn't feel connected?Dan Doty has spent 20 years working with men and boys in deeply intimate spaces. In this episode, he shares why sex often feels like survival for dads, and why so many men feel emotionally orphaned after becoming parents.If your partner seems checked out or constantly initiating (and you're stuck in resentment, shutdown, or confusion)... this episode is a must.We unpack the unspoken emotional world of fatherhood, fragility, and the deeply misunderstood role sex plays for men after kids.In this episode:The male version of "matrescence" (yes, it's real)How dads grieve lost intimacy,  and why they can't say itWhat not to do when you're feeling sexually rejectedHow to talk about sex without spiralling into blameJoin the Roommates to Romance Challenge:Create connection without pressure. Flirt again. And turn "not tonight" into "let's stay up late" 👉 intimacyafterkids.com/roommates-to-romanceShare your takeaways with me on Instagram → @intimacyafterkidsTools + more support → intimacyafterkids.com

Send us Fan MailIf you’re tired of hearing "not tonight," this episode is for you. For the partner who is asking for sex all the time, facing constant rejection feels personal. It chips away at your confidence and makes you want to stop trying altogether. But what if the "no" isn't about you at all?This episode is the final installment of our Perimenopause + Intimacy series, and it's a masterclass in initiation. We explore why your old moves might be backfiring and how to approach your partner in a way that calms their nervous system and opens the door for desire.Get out of the roommate rut and back into romance, without pressure or awkward sex talks.👉 intimacyafterkids.com/roommates-to-romanceIn this episode:Why your partner’s "no" is information, not rejection.The 3 dynamics that are sabotaging your attempts at initiation.How to lead with confidence (without being pushy).The power of pressure-free affection to rebuild the runway for sex.Say Hi or share your takeaway: @IntimacyAfterKids on Instagram More support + resources: https://intimacyafterkids.com

Send us Fan MailIf you've ever found yourself wondering, "Who even am I right now?" - you're not alone.This episode is a must-listen for couples navigating midlife, marriage, and the hormonal rollercoaster known as perimenopause (and andropause — yes, it's a thing). My guest Brooke Davis gets real about how these changes can wreck emotional regulation and connection if we’re not prepared.We talk about:The invisible link between hormones and relationship breakdownsHow decent marriages fall apart in midlife, and what to do insteadPractical ways to rebuild emotional safety, communication, and intimacy💥 PSA: This season of life doesn't have to end in divorce or dead bedrooms. But it does require new tools.

Send us Fan MailIf your partner's libido seems MIA since perimenopause showed up or if you are wondering where your own went, this episode is for you.We're unpacking what's really going on with libido changes in this season, and how to stop treating each other like broken sex robots.This is part 2 of our Perimenopause + Intimacy series, and today's convo includes the science of libido, nervous system safety, responsive vs spontaneous desire, and why your body (or your partner's) might just need a different kind of invite.🎧 What you’ll hear:What perimenopause does to libido (and what it doesn't)The gas/brake system of desire, and how to use itThe mindset shift that gets you out of "maybe someday" modeWhy "fixing" things isn't the goal, co-creating is Hot tip:If you're the higher libido partner, check out the Roommates to Romance Challenge — it's $9 and stupid practical. 👉 intimacyafterkids.com/roommates-to-romanceDM or share your takeaway: https://www.instagram.com/intimacyafterkids/?hl=en

Send us Fan MailIf you're feeling like roommates instead of lovers, perimenopause might be playing a bigger role than you think.Whether you're the higher libido partner waiting for things to "go back to normal," or the one navigating body changes, stress, and zero desire... you're not alone.This episode kicks off our Perimenopause + Intimacy series — and it's packed with practical insights to help you stop spinning in "maybe someday" mode.🎉 Also,  it's our 50th episode! If this podcast has helped you feel less alone or more connected, leave a review or DM me on Instagram @intimacyafterkids. I love hearing from you. Join the 14-Day Challenge: Get out of the roommate rut and back into romance — without pressure or awkward sex talks. 👉 intimacyafterkids.com/roommates-to-romanceIn this episode:What perimenopause does to your body and your relationshipWhy traditional intimacy advice falls flat in this season3 mindset shifts to get back in the driver's seat — togetherThe power of 5-minute connection habits💌 Say hi or share your takeaway: @intimacyafterkids 🔗 More support + resources: intimacyafterkids.com

Send us Fan MailToday we are going deeper into how your stress impacts your relationship, and your intimacy, and what to do about it. We have a special guest interview this week on the podcast with Naturopath Heather Drummond whose speciality is the nervous system. Timestamps:0:00 - Introduction & Guest Welcome3:59 - Heather's Background & Nervous System Work6:43 - Nervous System Responses in Relationships9:11 - Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn Explained15:52 - Codependency, Autonomy, and Relationship Dynamics25:33 - Tools & Tips for Stress, Sex, and Self-Care51:52 - Wrap-Up, Resources, and Final ThoughtsWhether you're stuck in the avoidance merry-go-round or just craving more ease in your intimacy, this episode gives you practical tools to notice stress responses and shift back into connection. Heather Drummond is the founder of Healing Vitality and the creator of Intuitive Energy Resets, a unique approach that helps people restore balance to their nervous systems, release energetic patterns, and reconnect with their authentic vitality. With a multidisciplinary background spanning nutrition, supplementation, emotional health, and energetic awareness, Heather brings a whole-person approach to healing. She supports clients who are navigating stress, burnout, hormonal shifts, and chronic imbalances, guiding them toward greater regulation, resilience, and empowerment. Known for her intuitive insight and grounded presence, Heather's work bridges science and soul, making nervous system healing accessible, practical, and deeply transformative.  

Send us Fan MailDo you mistake stress or tiredness for a hard no when it comes to intimacy? You’re not alone! In this episode, I unpack the “traffic lights” of the nervous system and how to stop defaulting to NO—so you can discover more ways to say yes (or a real, empowered maybe) to connection after kids.Timestamps & What You’ll Learn:00:14 – Introduction to Sex After Kids Podcast00:59 – Understanding Your Nervous System's Traffic Light System01:24 – Breaking Down the Traffic Light Colors02:55 – Understanding Default 'No' Responses04:34 – Finding and Working with the Yellow Light Zone06:28 – Building Genuine Connection Through Small Steps07:58 – Tips for Higher Libido Partners09:54 – Real-Life Example of Working with the Nervous System11:40 – Introduction to the Naked Fun Comeback Program12:58 – Closing Thoughts and CreditsReady to tune in, slow down, and find more paths to connection? Book a pressure-free Spark Session:Book your Spark Session hereYou are not broken. Sometimes, all you need is a yellow light—and the right support to find your way to green.

Send us Fan MailReady to get out of the initiate-and-avoid rut and back to playful, flirty, connected sex - without the pressure? In this special episode, I share why I created The Naked Fun Comeback™, what makes it different from all the "just try harder" advice, and how you can join this summer's case study group.Timestamps:00:00 – Welcome & why this is a direct invitation episode02:05 – Why I created The Naked Fun Comeback™ (books and apps don't cut it, and fixing your libido isn't the answer)05:45 – Does this sound like you? The "initiate-and-avoid" cycle, feeling disconnected, and why nothing has changed08:15 – What you'll actually do inside the program: playful initiation, connection-building, and hacking your busy life for intimacy12:30 – Who this is for (and who it's not for)15:00 – Not sure it's for you? Let's talk about a few scenarios: partner not game, too busy, it's been a long time, what if it doesn't work?18:40 – How it works: lessons, activities, coaching, and risk-free guarantee21:40 – Your next step: book a Spark Session, get clarity, and decide if this is your season for Naked Sexy Fun TimesCurious? Book a pressure-free Spark Session to see if this is your season for Naked Sexy Fun Times. Book your Spark Session here:http://www.intimacyafterkids.com/calendarYou are not broken. And you don't have to settle for "meh." Let's get you back to playful, loving, connected intimacy - starting now.

Send us Fan MailSave this one for Saturday night. Follow along during this guided date and see where the evening takes you. In this episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast I share a guided date night experience from the Sex After Kids Summit Vault. Follow along as I show you through one of my favourite activities to get you out of busy parent mode and into landed lover mode. These guided date night experiences are a signature part of my Naked Fun Comeback Program where I help lead parents back into more passion, more play and more sex. You can do this activity PG or spicy - challenge by choice. You will need a few items from around the house and about 20 minutes of uninterrupted time together.

Send us Fan MailWondering if you need a sex coach, a couples counsellor, or both? I discuss my honest take on how each one can help, what most couples are really feeling (and why), and why it’s not about “fixing” you or your partner—but learning new skills together.Timestamps & What You’ll Learn:01:14 – Sex Coach vs Couples Counsellor03:09 – Common Relationship Struggles05:03 – Why Most People Need Professional Help08:23 – Differences Between Sex Coaches and Couples Counselors11:45 – The Team-Based Approach13:56 – How to Choose a Sex Coach or Therapist17:50 – Closing Mindfulness Exercise and CreditsLinks & Resources:Book a free Spark SessionSolve Your Sex Drive QuizFollow Sofia on InstagramMore episodes of Sex After Kids PodcastDrop your thoughts or questions in the comments—no shame, just real support.

Send us Fan MailLet’s just put it out there: If you’re in a sexless marriage, you’ve probably had at least one “Would this just be easier if we split up?” moment. Maybe you’ve even daydreamed about a solo life—until you remember that modern dating sounds absolutely exhausting. (No, thank you!)If you’re even flirting with the D-word—even in your head—this episode is for you. Because keeping those worries secret just makes things worse, and you are NOT alone.Join Sofia as she busts myths, calls out the mistakes that keep couples stuck, and shares the real, courageous steps that can bring you back from the edge—before it’s too late.Timestamps & What You’ll Learn:00:00 — Introduction01:14 — Addressing Sexless Marriage Struggles02:34 — Debunking the Myth of Dead Bedrooms After Kids05:31 — Common Pitfalls in Sexless Marriages10:59 — Solutions and Steps Forward14:12 — Closing and ResourcesHelpful Links:Book a free Spark SessionSolve Your Sex Drive QuizFollow Sofia on InstagramMore episodes of Sex After Kids PodcastDrop your story or questions in the comments. You are not broken, and your marriage is worth fighting for.

Send us Fan MailWhether you’re fresh into postpartum or it’s been years since your last baby and your body still feels unfamiliar, you’re not alone. In this episode, I get radically real about intimacy, body image, and feeling sexy in the body you have—right now.What You’ll Learn:01:08 — Intimacy & Body Image After Kids01:32 — The Reality of Postpartum Bodies02:48 — Pressure, Partners, and Self-Criticism03:52 — Waiting to Feel Sexy & The Cost04:20 — Spectatoring & Body Neutrality07:34 — Accepting Compliments & Shifting Perspective08:14 — Letting Go of the “Lose 10 Pounds” Fantasy08:36 — Comfort: Dressing for Your Now Body09:57 — Building Safety & Vulnerability with Your Partner11:45 — Redefining Sexy & Embodying Your Erotic Self12:37 — Sometimes the Answer is to Have the Sex13:37 — Body Gratitude & Receiving Compliments14:44 — Recap & Shifting Self-Image15:08 — You Deserve Pleasure Now: Quiz & PracticeHighlights:Why waiting to “lose 10 pounds” is putting your joy on layawayThe difference between body positivity and body neutralityHow to start feeling sexy—by practicing pleasure, not waiting for confidenceTangible, pressure-free ways to reconnect with your body and your partnerHow to let yourself be desired, even when it’s hard to believeHelpful Links:Book a free Spark SessionNaked Fun Comeback ProgramSolve Your Sex Drive QuizFollow Sofia on InstagramMore episodes of Sex After Kids PodcastLeave a comment or DM if this episode resonates—your story matters and you are not broken.

Send us Fan MailFeeling awkward about intimacy after kids, or stuck in the “roommate rut?” You’re not alone. In this episode, I share why foreplay (and the “pre-game” before it) is the real secret to rekindling connection—and how to make it feel safe, pressure-free, and fun (especially for the lower libido partner).What we cover:01:06 — Rethinking Foreplay & Getting Started Again02:11 — Zero Pressure: The Key to Connection02:36 — Pre-Foreplay: Building Safety & Trust03:25 — The Pre-Game: Flirty Connection & Melting Defenses03:57 — Pressure-Free Scenarios: Massage Examples06:30 — The Impact of No Pressure & Openness07:27 — Playful Possibility: Fun Ways to Bring Back Foreplay08:49 — Anticipation & Pre-Game for Scheduled Sex09:42 — Building Up to No Pressure Sexy Connection10:15 — Opening the Door to Libido & Support OffersLinks & Resources:Start the Roommates to Romance ChallengeFollow Sofia on InstagramMore episodes of Sex After Kids PodcastDrop a comment below with your favourite foreplay rituals or questions! And don’t forget to subscribe for more real, sassy support on sex, intimacy, and pleasure after kids.

Send us Fan MailIs scheduled sex really the death of desire…or is it your secret weapon for reigniting connection after kids? In this episode, Sofia (your TMI bedroom advice bestie for parents) busts the myths about putting sex on the calendar—and shows you how to turn obligation into anticipation.What You’ll Learn:01:07 Debunking the Scheduled Sex Myth01:21 Why People Resist Scheduling Sex01:50 Scheduling Creates the Mood02:28 The Pressure of Scheduled Nights02:49 Real-Life Example: Anniversary Expectations03:38 Naked Fun Dates, Not Sex Dates04:22 Step 1: Book a Date & Treat It as Non-Negotiable04:59 Step 2: Build the Bridge from Parent to Lover05:18 Transition Rituals & Building Anticipation05:41 Get Relaxed, Present, and Connected06:35 Step 3: Communicate More Than You Think07:10 Step 4: Debrief After Connection Dates07:26 Always Be Learning About Each Other07:47 Client Story: Laura's Pain-Free Sexy Times08:33 Scheduled Sex = Grownup Intimacy10:31 Mindfulness Minute & ClosingLinks & Resources:Book a free Spark SessionFollow Sofia on InstagramMore episodes of Sex After Kids PodcastDrop your thoughts in the comments—have you tried scheduling sex? What worked (or didn’t) for you?Subscribe for more real talk on sex, intimacy, and pleasure after kids!

Send us Fan MailFeeling like “roommates” instead of lovers? You’re not alone. In this episode, I share my absolute favourite sex books that every parent should have on their nightstand—plus the real-life stories and expert tips behind each pick.What you'll learn:The best books for reigniting desire and connection after kidsHow to talk about sex without shame or awkwardnessWhy exploring together (or solo!) can spark big changes in your relationshipTimestamps:00:00 — Intro & Podcast Welcome01:23 — For Yourself by Dr. Lonnie Barbach02:48 — Sex Drive by Dr. Bella Elwood Clayton04:06 — Shake Your Soul Song by Davy Ward05:19 — Come As You Are & Come Together by Emily Nagoski06:29 — Becoming Cliterate by Dr. Lori Mintz06:49 — The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure by Charlie Glickman & Aislinn Emirzian07:08 — A Woman’s Anatomy of Arousal by Sheri Winston06:29 — Sex Ed & The Naked Fun Comeback Program09:56 — Outro & Mindfulness MinuteBooks featured:For Yourself – Dr. Lonnie BarbachSex Drive – Dr. Bella Ellewood ClaytonShake Your Soul Song – Devi WardCome as You Are & Come Together – Emily NagoskiBecoming Clitorate – Dr. Lori MintzThe Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure – Charlie Glickman & Aislinn EmirzianA Woman’s Anatomy of Arousal – Sheri WinstonMore episodes of Sex After Kids PodcastLinks & Resources:Book a Spark SessionFollow Sofia on InstagramDrop your favourite sex books in the comments and don’t forget to subscribe for more real-talk on sex, intimacy, and pleasure after kids!

Send us Fan MailIn this episode I share when my partner and I went to couples counselling after the birth of our first child. From my post-partum anxiety I was experiencing resentment and contempt and didn’t want this to be the theme of our relationship. In this episode I cover: 04:05 Why I hated admitting they needed help 06:12 Why everything wasn’t all my partners fault (much as I wanted it to be) 08:11 Why stress was the root of all our challenges14:45 And why couples counselling wasn’t going to bring our sex life back after kidsWhether you are in the trenches of early baby and toddler hood or seasoned parents, this episode is a must listen.

Send us Fan MailIn this deeply personal episode, I’m sharing the one  secret that helped me go from six months of shut-down to regularly saying yes (and even initiating!)—without faking, forcing, or bypassing my body’s needs.My vagina had a tantrum last week and we are going to talk about it. Whether you're the higher libido partner wondering what’s going on behind the “no,” or the lower libido partner who wants connection but feels stuck in shutdown—this episode is for you.In this episode we cover: 00:00 – The one nervous system insight that changed everything04:35 – The “vagina tantrum” story: how I almost bypassed my body again14:10 – Why resistance and irritation aren’t bad signs—they’re signals of progress20:01 – The critical mistake I made during sex (and how I owned it with my partner)26:10 – Why slowing down ≠ giving up (and why somatic sex matters)36:00 – Why I created the Roommates to Romance Challenge—and how it helps both higher and lower libido partners move from stuck to sexy💌 And if you’re done waiting for the perfect moment to reconnect, join the Roommates to Romance Challenge—14 days of small, done-for-you steps to build safety, play, and turn-ons that work with your body, not against it. Just DM me the word ROMANCE on Instagram or email [email protected] and say I want in. LINKS MENTIONED:- Catch the episode where I talk you through managing big emotions when they arise during sex.

Send us Fan MailFeeling resentful, disconnected, or just done with intimacy because you're the one holding everything together?Or maybe you're doing your share—and still hearing that it’s not enough?This episode is for you.We’re diving into the mental load: what it really is, how it impacts your nervous system (and your sex life), and why even splitting things 50/50 doesn’t always fix the spark.Spoiler: doing the dishes isn’t foreplay if you’re not emotionally connected.👇 In this episode, you’ll learn: What the mental load really is (and how it messes with your libido) The “silver bullet” myth: why more help doesn’t always = more sex When fairness falls flat: the emotional load of doing life together Why we need to stop stop fixing your partner—start rebuilding connection 3 tools to rebuild intimacy without more pressureLet’s flip the script on desire and resentment. Because sex after kids shouldn’t feel like another job.Love this convo? Here’s how to go deeper:🔍 Take the Solve Your Sex Drive Quiz – Find out what’s really blocking your libido 💥 Book a free Spark Session – A no-pressure space to talk about what’s not working (and what might help)👉 Subscribe for more real talk on desire, intimacy, and connection after kids.Resources- Fair Play by Eve Rodsky- A Better Share by  Dr Morgan Cutlip- Fatherhood Unlocked- Zach - Recovering Man Child 💌 Got questions? Drop them in the comments or DM me on Instagram @thehappyvprojectBecause your sex life doesn’t have to die after bedtime.Let’s bring back the fun, the flirt, and the f*ck-yes.

Send us Fan MailStruggling with low desire or no sex after kids? You're not alone—and you're not broken. In this episode of The Sex After Kids Podcast, sex and intimacy coach Sofia from The Happy Vagina Project shares 5 mindset shifts to help couples reconnect, reignite desire, and break out of the dreaded “Not Tonight” cycle.Whether you're feeling touched out, rejected, or just numb to the idea of intimacy, this episode offers practical tools and emotional clarity to bring back passion, play, and connection—even if it's been months (or years) since your last good sex.🎧 Listen in to learn:Why desire doesn’t “just come back” (and what actually works)How to create intimacy without pressureWhy communication and emotional safety are 🔑Easy ways to add more playfulness to your relationshipHow to lead confidently when your partner is shut down or stressedThis is for every couple who loves each other but feels stuck in a sex rut. You’re not alone—and you can fix this.Book a Free Spark Session this week and find the fun and the flirt in your relationship this summer! 

Send us Fan MailEver found yourself thinking, “Why are they always avoiding sex?” Or maybe you’ve felt the sting of rejection and started to question your relationship, your desirability, or your skills in bed.This episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast flips that narrative on its head.We’re diving into the real reasons behind intimacy avoidance—especially after becoming parents. Spoiler: it’s not about being broken or unwanted. We’re talking about stress, nervous system overload, the orgasm gap, and how to rebuild connection without pressure or resentment.💥 In this episode, you’ll learn:Why the orgasm gap matters in long-term relationshipsHow stress and nervous system overwhelm quietly shut down desire, even when the love is strongWhy “doing it right” is more about emotional safety than sexual techniqueThe myth that desire has to come before sex (and what actually works instead)Practical steps to shift the dynamic—even if your partner isn’t ready to talk about itWhether you're the one wanting more sex or feeling shut down and unsure why—this is a judgment-free, insight-filled conversation for anyone navigating sex after kids.📚 Places to get started on your own:Come As You Are by Emily NagoskiWomen's Anatomy of Arousal by Sheri WinstonShake Your Soul Song by Devi WardFor Each Other by Lonnie BarbachShe Comes First by Ian KernerBecoming Clitorate by Dr. Lori MintzIf you want to find passion and play more quickly than reading and hoping something sticks, then book a FREE Spark Session with me. We'll explore a  what’s really going on, where you’re feeling stuck, and how to bring playful, pressure-free intimacy back into your relationship over the next three months. I only have a few spaces open so book yours now. BOOK HERE YOUR SPARK SESSION HERE

Send us Fan MailFlirting with the D-word (Divorce)? Or just feeling like roommates with a mortgage and a laundry pile that never ends? So many couples are experiencing the same thing, but they don’t have the secret sauce I’ll share in this episode. Today we are talking all about the small, not-so-sexy things that make a massive difference. I’m talking: ✨ Undivided attention (yes, even for 3 minutes) ✨ Actually using your words (thank you, Daniel Tiger) ✨ Shutting your mouth instead of offering solutions (it’s a challenge, I know)We get real about why parenting is a full-contact emotional sport and how these basic tools can stop your love life from flatlining. Because sometimes, saving your relationship isn’t about a big grand gesture—it’s about a six-second kiss and actually listening when your partner says “look at this meme.”In this episode, we cover: 🔸 What "returning bids for attention" actually looks like in a busy house 🔸 How narrating your intentions can change your sex life 🔸 Why biting your tongue might be your new love language 🔸 A meditation on presence, love, and why your opinions aren’t always helpful Ready to go from “just surviving” to “mmm that feels nice”? Grab my Roommates to Romance Challenge—a 7-day guided journey back to touch, connection, and that juicy “we’re doing this together” vibe. Just $15, and it’s yours anytime.💌 Grab it here. If this hit home, send it to your overworked, overtouched, under-romanced BFF. And hit follow so you never miss an episode.

Send us Fan MailWe have another bedroom dispatch for you this week on the Sex After Kids Podcast. In this episode, we’re throwing out the Bridgerton fantasy and getting real about what it takes to feel sexy when you’re touched-out, overstimulated, and secretly fantasizing about alone time with your book boyfriend.Listen as I walk you through how I use my signature Time Together Blueprint to turn awkward into awesome in four little steps. This one’s for the mamas in messy buns and dads trying to figure out how to connect again. There’s nothing wrong with you—you’re just not in a Hollywood movie.✨ Ready to reset your desire story?📲 DM me “RESET” on Instagram @thehappyvproject or book your free Reset Roadmap Call to get started.🔗 Mentioned in this episode:– www.sexafterkids.com/reset-roadmap– www.sexafterkids.com/sex-drive-quiz– Instagram - @thehappyvproject#SexAfterKids #MarriedLife #DesireReset #ParentingAndPleasure #RealLifeRomance

Send us Fan MailWhat if the stories you’ve been taught about sex—what it should look like, feel like, and mean—are the real reason it’s not working? In this episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast, we’re unpacking six cultural myths that sneak into your bedroom and sabotage connection. From spontaneous desire to sexual obligation, we’re breaking it all down—and offering a new way forward. 🎙️ What we cover:  • 3 ways women are conditioned to override their bodies  • 3 ways men are taught to tie sex to self-worth  • “What if” reframes to shift shame into connection  • What to say instead of pushing through or shutting down 💬 Ready to unlearn the pressure and rewrite the rules?  DM me RESET CHALLENGE on Instagram @thehappyvproject and I’ll send you the details. 

Send us Fan Mail What if the hottest thing you could bring into the bedroom… was a question? In this episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast, we’re talking about consent—not the swipe-right kind, but the long-term, tired-parents, messy-realities kind. Consent isn’t just about saying “yes” or “no.” It’s how we build trust, support nervous systems, and create sex that feels good for both of you. We cover:  • What consent really means in a long-term relationship  • How it breaks down quietly after kids  • How to reframe consent as sexy not stiff • Real-life examples of unintentional violations—and what to do instead  • 3 low-pressure consent resets you can try this week ✨ If you’ve ever felt pressured, disconnected, or unsure what's okay—this one’s for you. 📲 Need support? Canada: Talk Suicide Canada (1-833-456-4566 / text 45645) USA: RAINN (1-800-656-HOPE / rainn.org) UK: Rape Crisis (0808 802 9999 / rapecrisis.org.uk) Australia: 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732 / 1800respect.org.au) 💌 Need to reset the room after listening to this episode? I got you. 30 days to go from "ugh don't touch me" to "I could have more of that"  DM me “RESET Challenge” on Instagram @thehappyvproject to get on the waitlist.  

Send us Fan MailThis week we have another bedroom dispatch from my sheets to your ears. I share these to normalize what real sexy times look like and to show you how my I use my own tools in my real life - so you can see who they work for you. This week you'll hear how I turned complaining about my body into a lovely romp in the hay with my partner using my Time Together Blueprint - four simple steps to go from a maybe to a yes and have a great time. Listen for:- how my partner initiated sexy time- how I got out of a no and into a maybe- how I got into my body and out of my head to enjoy more- how speaking up got me what I needed You can follow this exact same formula to change the game in your bedroom too. Book a totally free Reset Roadmap call and I'll walk you through it with some unique to you strategies. https://www.thehappyvaginaproject.com/reset-roadmap