The Unlock Lab

Perfectionism is a word that I generally haven’t identified with to a large extent. If somebody were to ask, "Are you a perfectionist?" I probably wouldn’t raise my hand immediately. Why? Because deep down I know that perfectionism is an illusion. Perfectionism is defined by other people and requires effort trying to reach some gold standard that quite frankly is unrealistic, not achievable and sometimes not even definable.What’s actually going on behind perfectionism are behaviors of double checking, triple checking, and ruminating. All of these things are about self protection. It's about avoiding disappointment, ridicule, humiliation or perhaps even shame.I share the story of when I received this label of ‘perfectionist’ as feedback from a boss early in my career, the impact it had on me, and also the opportunity she missed in providing helpful information and resources.Tune in to learn why we need to ask ourselves, what's really important in this situation? It might just be time to let good be good enough, and use positive messages to motivate yourself from a place of being your own best friend.Episode Highlights: Untangling the flawed conditioning from growing up in education systems where it felt like perfection was attainable, realistic, and made sense as a goal. Noticing how your behaviors behind perfectionism are really about avoiding disappointment, ridicule, humiliation and shame. See how to stop self sabotaging behaviors to have more impact.Quotables: [01:15:55:23] "...net net, perfectionism is a form of self sabotage." [01:07:34:04] "...if we are looking at what does 100% look like, what it comes with is a huge opportunity cost." [01:21:26:00] "...if you were being your own best friend... you would say, 'Honey, you've done enough. It's good enough. Put it out there. Let it go.'"Stop letting self-doubt dictate your decisions. Take back the power from your inner critic and, take the Inner Critic Compass today to see which one is running your show. As a gift, I’ll send you a toolkit to help you on your path to be your own best friend: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/innercritic-compassTosca's Links and Resources: Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter Tosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Props for:Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

The term "imposter syndrome" is one that every time I hear it, I cringe. The reason is that nobody is an imposter, and you cannot diagnose this as a clinical syndrome. Using this language perpetuates the underlying issue of people not feeling good enough. What is actually going on is an inner dialogue, an inner narrative, or an inner critic going on in your head that is telling you all kinds of lies.Tune in to learn why we need to stop using this language altogether, so that you can motivate yourself from a place of love and abundance. It is time to recognize your skill gaps for what they truly are: a beautiful opportunity to grow into.Episode Highlights: Untangling the flawed conditioning that negative stimuli is an effective way to drive results. Noticing how your inner critic tells you lies like "you do not deserve to be here". The result of seeing a skill gap as an expansion of your Human Skills rather than a syndrome.Quotables: [01:00:51:22] "And the reason for that is because nobody's an imposter... you cannot diagnose this as a clinical syndrome." [01:04:45:02] "...we have been so conditioned in society to think that this negative stimuli is okay to drive the kind of results that we want for ourselves. And I think that is completely outdated." [01:05:28:03] "...what I think is a much powerful form of fuel is to be your own best friend and to be your cheerleader and to motivate yourself from a place of love."Stop letting self-doubt dictate your decisions. The Inner Critic Compass is a practical tool designed to help you silence negative self-talk, overcome self-sabotage, and build lasting confidence.Take control of your mindset and get the Inner Critic Compass today: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/innercritic-compassTosca's Links and Resources: Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter Tosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Props for:Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo: https://adriandimatteo.com

In this episode, meet Jenn T. Grace, my friend, a champion of storytelling, and financial advisor consultant turned founder of Publish Your Purpose. Jenn shares her personal path from navigating corporate challenges where she hid a big part of her identity to empowering authors through her organization. We discussed crucial ways to align your personal values with your professional environment and touched on the struggle of balancing genuine self-expression with career expectations. At the core, this episode is a rally cry for you to remember that your story matters; whether you're contemplating writing your own book, striving for authenticity in your career, or simply looking to better understand yourself and others. This episode offers valuable perspectives on how personal and professional growth are interconnected. This line from Jenn pretty much sums it up for me: "There's a place for vulnerability in professional settings, but somehow we've lost our way in being able to do that."Note: This episode was originally published on 5.12.24 without video.About Jenn T. Grace:An award-winning author, nationally recognized speaker, and savvy publishing strategist, Jenn T. Grace is the founder of Publish Your Purpose, the acclaimed hybrid publishing company that gives first-time authors the secrets to getting their books written, finding an eager audience, and marking their place in the publishing world. She is the author of seven books, including Publish Your Purpose: A Step-by-Step Guide to Write, Publish, and Grow Your Big Idea. Jenn has been featured in Forbes, The Huffington Post, The Wall Street Journal, and CNBC.Key Takeaways: Freedom and connection in the workplace happens when we can open up and be more vulnerable with telling our stories. Workplace culture may lead you to ask if it's a place that aligns to your values or if it's time to leave. Our superpowers often come from the places that we shame, hide, or don't know how to embrace. We often make efforts to conform, but the more we do the work on ourselves we can see that we don't have to be around people that lower our vibration. Grief work is part of pruning relationships in our life as we honor our priority to rise to the next level. When you free yourself from what's not serving you, you become more of who you are, and more confident that you're worthy of better. You deserve more. This is the process of becoming your own best friend.Quotables: (5:38) Jenn: "I find that so many people have stories to share that either are not currently reflected in what's available, or they feel like they're not good enough to be the one that shares the story, or they're not important enough, or there's that kind of underlaying of imposter syndrome that I think everyone experiences." (12:42) Tosca: "My belief is that the reason why we're in this situation with workplace culture is because we're not showing up, giving ourselves permission to be all of who we are and to be vulnerable and to just be honest because we're all just stuffing shit, you know? And all people really want is connection at work." (39:45) Jenn: "We have to be brave enough to take that first step to say, I don't really know how I'm going to get there, but I have this vision that I want to get somewhere that's not here. Let me start exploring and take that first baby step because the path illuminates itself."Jenn's Links:Publish Your PurposeTosca's Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.comGet in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contactLinkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Props for:Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo: https://adriandimatteo.com

Let me just say it: you are not going to get it right every time as a leader. Not even close. And honestly? That's not the problem. The problem is what happens when you don't repair it.In this episode of The Unlock Lab, I talk about where the real strength in leadership actually lives, and spoiler alert, it's not in being perfect. It's in the repair and the correction. The willingness to say, "Yeah, I messed that up," and then actually do something about it.In this episode I share a personal story from 24 years of living with Type 1 diabetes that changed how I think about mistakes, and why I had to learn to expect the overcorrection before I could take my power back. It's messy. It's not binary. And there is absolutely no such thing as perfect. In this episode we cover:→ Why fear of messing up keeps leaders stuck in avoidance (and how to get out of it)→ The childhood messages that shaped your belief system around mistakes→ Why brushing off your mistakes is a cop-out, and what courage looks like→ How repair and correction can leapfrog the strength of your relationships at work→ Where to start if you have no idea how to make it rightThis is the work. And I'm here for all of it with you.🔔 If this episode hit home, subscribe and leave a review, it means the world and helps other leaders find their way here too.📩 Have questions or want to keep the conversation going? Reach out, all my info is in the notes below.Tosca's Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.comGet in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contactLinkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Props for:Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com#TheUnlockLab #LeadershipDevelopment #LeadershipCoaching #EmotionalIntelligence #MistakesInLeadership #LeadershipGrowth #CourageousLeadership #RepairAndCorrection #ToscaDiMatteo #GrowthMindset

In this episode, I explore the gems of generosity in leadership. Moving away from transactional leadership and the "what's in it for me" model, I offer generosity as a core pillar for authentic leadership. I break down the many forms generosity can take, from giving your time, to initiating difficult conversations. I also address the common resistance we face, such as the fear of getting burned or the overemphasis on efficiency, and explain why playing the long game in leadership will put more wins on your board.Key TakeawaysGenerosity is about giving without the expectation of receiving anything in return.Generosity comes in many forms: time, assumptions, acknowledgments, care, forgiveness, difficult conversations, sharing yourself, trust, network introductions, and providing opportunities.Giving trust first helps us stay out of micromanaging our teams.Overcoming resistance to generosity requires us to decondition from a strict focus on productivity and efficiency.Even if the results are not immediate, the intention behind your generosity matters and is deeply felt by others.Resources MentionedVisit my website at coachtosca.com to learn more about my work and read my blog.Tosca's Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.comGet in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contactLinkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Props for:Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

Feeling stuck in a career that looks successful on paper but leaves you drained is a heavy burden to carry. It’s a nagging sensation that you are meant for more, but your inner narrative, or even external influences might be convincing you to stay the course. Looking at the drivers of our choices and decisions allows us to understand if we are living the life we want, or the life we think we’re supposed to live. When we can accept the truth of our desires and make new decisions towards them, we create the space for genuine fulfillment and purpose.In my conversation with Mitch Patel, CEO of Vision Hospitality Group, you will not only hear his stories about how he broke free from expectations, you will hear about his passion for building a life and business rooted in purpose, unshakeable culture, and being a good human being.Episode Highlights:Untangling the belief that you have to know how to do everything before you start something new. Noticing the fear of the unknown when shifting your career path.The result of prioritizing values to lead with a character-driven, people-first approach in a competitive industry.Quotables:[01:25:11:05] "Working hard in something you don't love is stress. And working hard in something you love is passion."[01:51:12:19] "Culture will define a company's destiny. But character will define yours."[02:24:54:18] "Smooth seas never made a skilled sailor."About Mitch PatelFounder and Chief Executive OfficerChanneling a passion for the hospitality industry, Mitch Patel established Vision Hospitality Group in 1997 on a foundation of values that guide the organization to this day. With an unwavering commitment to excellence, Mitch oversees every aspect of the company, from investment procurement to the seamless execution of daily operations. Additionally, he oversees strategic development and implementation that has propelled Vision Hospitality Group to garner numerous awards within the industry.Mitch holds both a bachelor’s and master’s degree in Civil Engineering from the University of Tennessee. His background in engineering informs his approach to development, capital planning, and long-term asset strategy. In addition to his responsibilities at Vision, Mitch served as Chair of the Board of the American Hotel & Lodging Association in 2025. In that role, he supported national advocacy efforts on behalf of the lodging industry, including workforce development and public policy initiatives. Vision Hospitality Group: https://www.vhghotels.com/ Tosca's Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.comGet in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contactLinkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Props for:Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

Are you an experienced leader who feels like you’re constantly pushing boulders up hills when managing your team? Organizations often prioritize execution and technical expertise over everything else. This leaves many leaders with a significant people skill gap, especially those who have risen in the ranks due to their technical and analytical expertise. If you’ve been told you need to work on your relationships in your job, there’s no shame in that. We all have areas of opportunity.In this episode, we address why human skills are the absolute precursor to developing strong people skills. We explore why Gallup attributes 70% of team engagement directly to the manager, rather than company strategy or compensation. You’ll learn how to tame your inner critic, heal the root wounds causing friction, and make time for people skills on your daily agenda.Episode Highlights:Why 70% of team engagement is attributable to the manager.The critical difference between people skills and the human skills required to build them.A real-world example of a leader who overcame her inner critic to stop freezing in front of her CEO.Six essential questions to ask yourself at the beginning and end of every workday to prioritize your relationship development.Quotables: "The single greatest variable in whether a team performs, stays, and thrives is the quality of human leadership their experience daily.""Human skills are the ability to deeply understand yourself, your thought and behavior patterns, and this is what helps you become better at people skills.""That's how we get better at leading is by making sure we're in the equation first."Tosca's Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.comGet in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contactLinkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo: https://adriandimatteo.com

Intentional community is the conscious gathering of people for a specific purpose where every individual is seen, heard, and accounted for. For years, I lived with the belief that I just had to do life by myself, which was the biggest lie my inner critic ever told me. When you move out of isolation and into a space of mutual support, you strip your inner critic of its power and begin to lead from a place of grounded truth. In this episode, I sit down with Debra Driscoll , founder of The BeHer Collective (her previous company was Big Life Magic), to explore how intentional community serves as the ultimate antidote to leadership burnout.Tune in to learn why you might be suffering in silence despite your external success, so that you can stop performing for others and start being supported by a community. This conversation with Debra Driscoll provides the practical framework to move from isolation into authentic connection.Episode Highlights:Untangling the false belief that strong leadership requires you to do everything by yourself.Noticing how the inner critic uses isolation to convince you that your struggles are personal failings.The result of entering a space where the core agreement is to witness each other without trying to fix or heal.Quotables: "The inner critic is a master of isolation. It wants you alone so it can convince you that your struggle is a personal failure rather than a shared human experience." "We have this agreement where we don't try to fix or heal anybody; we simply provide the container where you can finally stop performing and start being." "I lived with the belief for so long that I just had to do life by myself, but that was actually the biggest lie my critic ever told me."Tosca's Links and Resources: Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter Tosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Guest Links: Explore Debra Driscoll’s Work: https://thebehercollective.com/Substack: https://thebehercollective.substack.com/Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

Reluctant leadership is the resistance to expanding your influence, because stepping out of a functional expert role can feel intimidating. I have worked with incredibly successful leaders who hold themselves back by listening to the self-doubt in their heads instead of acting on their capability to guide others. Accepting the leader within allows you to multiply your impact and get the results you are hoping for, and it doesn’t have to come with a sentence of sacrificing your peace or well-being.Tune in to learn why you might be clinging to your technical expertise and avoiding the responsibility of leading so you can step into an expanded role with confidence, and healthy boundaries.  Stepping up doesn’t mean giving up your freedom; you can be successful and have a lifestyle that lights you up.Episode Highlights:Untangling the belief that you are not a "people person" by recognizing the relationship building that has already contributed to your success.Noticing the fear of losing control that leads to hyper-vigilance or micromanaging.The result of changing your approach to leadership: you get to play your own game and create an equitable situation, without resentment.Quotables: [01:04:10:01] "It's understandable that you may feel like leading people can be the wild wild West, when you have come to prefer having control of your outcomes and not being responsible for anyone else." [01:08:41:12] "It's not solely your expertise that there is absolutely a piece of relationship building and interacting with others that has contributed to your success." [01:13:49:04] "So just because you have not seen leaders holding boundaries or you have not seen leaders be able to delegate as much as they need to, doesn't mean that the way you lead has to look like that at all."Tosca's Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.comGet in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contactLinkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

Burnout is more than just being tired; it is a profound state of physical and emotional exhaustion built on ignored boundaries. That is exactly why I brought burnout expert Cait Donovan onto the podcast. Healing this condition requires addressing the deep internal wounds rather than just applying surface-level fixes to the symptoms.Listen to learn how high achievers miss the early warning signs of burnout so that you can identify your true needs and begin a real healing process. It is time to step out of the exhaustion cycle and reclaim your energy. You can be a highly impactful leader and experience profound peace. Episode Highlights:Understanding interoception: Cait explains how childhood experiences and hypervigilance prevent us from recognizing our own body's basic signals.Noticing the habit of ignoring resentment: We explore how to recognize resentment as a blaring alarm bell indicating where you are self-abandoning to please someone else.The danger of DIY recovery: Why burnout recovery is not a solo project and why you desperately need a mirror to see your blind spots.Prevention vs. Recovery: Why traditional stress management and gratitude practices will actually irritate you if you are already in a state of burnout.Quotables:"Let resentment guide you. It will tell you every single time where you are self-abandoning to please someone else." [Cait Donovan]"If you are burnt out and someone tells you to do a gratitude practice, you have my full permission to punch them in the throat." [Cait Donovan]"Burnout recovery and burnout prevention are not the same strategies." [Cait Donovan]Learn More About Cait Donovan:Website: https://www.caitdonovan.com/Tosca's Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.comGet in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contactLinkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

We live in a world that worships execution. We are obsessed with the "How” the strategy, the tactics, the ten-step plans. But often, we are trying to build a bridge before we even know where we want it to land. This is the trap of prioritizing the doing over the being.I see this pattern constantly with my clients, and I have lived it myself. We want the lightning bolt of clarity to hit us so we can sprint into action. But more often than not, clarity doesn't scream; it whispers. When we force the "How" without anchoring in the "What," we waste time, energy, and spirit.Tune in to learn how to disrupt your need for immediate answers and silence the noise of the outside world. I’m sharing a two-step approach to finding clarity that might just save you from climbing the wrong mountain.Episode Highlights:The "Jackie" Story: How a client went from desperate for a new job to finding deep contentment right where she was.The Lightning Bolt Myth: Why waiting for a massive sign is actually a form of procrastination.Silence the Noise: The critical importance of a "content diet"—shutting down social media and well-meaning opinions to hear your own voice.The "Simmer" Technique: How I am currently letting a big idea (hosting a retreat) cook on low heat instead of forcing the logistics.Quotables:[01:03:55] "You're putting the cart before the horse right. And you are often going to waste a lot of time and energy because you don't have the anchor in your what."[01:14:57] "It doesn't happen on your timeline. It's not your timeline; you're not in control. It's going to happen when it's meant to happen."[01:15:26] "Most of the time it's very whispers coming from your internal guidance. That's why I say you have to be still."Tosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca’s Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.comGet in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contactLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

We often think our inner critic is just who we are, but that is not the truth. If you aren't cognizant, that inner voice will start as a tiny snowflake and snowball until it convinces you that nothing is worth it anymore. In this episode, I share the specific five-step framework I use with my 1:1 clients and organizations to help them stop the spiral and interact better with one another.Tune in to hear a real-time example of how I navigated a trigger just last week when someone questioned if this podcast was "worth it". You will learn how to identify the specific toxic fuel you’ve been running on and swap it for the sustainable fuel of self-belief.Episode Highlights:Separation: Why you must visualize your critic as separate from your core self (and why you shouldn't name it after a family member!).The "Toxic Fuel" Myth: Understanding that shame and meanness are like gas—they burn dirty and eventually run out—whereas self-compassion is sustainable energy.The Interruption: How to use physical movement, music, or even a shower to physically cleanse the negative thought pattern.The Vacation Technique: You don't need to shame your critic; you need to love it enough to send it on a permanent vacation.Quotables: [01:05:26] "When it comes to your inner critics, it's often creating a narrative that you can't 100% confirm with certainty, which means it's a lie." [01:09:42] "Shame and a mean voice is not a sustainable way of motivating you... you're never going to move through tough emotions if you keep beating yourself up." [01:12:16] "Your inner critic loves you deeply... it's only using the tools that it has... trying to keep you safe from disappointment."Tosca's Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.comInner Critic Packages with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contactLinkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

We often think of public speaking as a technical skill, but it is actually a profound test of our human skills.I recently gave a presentation on inner critics. The challenge wasn't the speaking itself, as I have done that for years, but the format. I had to condense a 45-minute keynote into a hard-hitting 10-minute talk. This shift in routine woke up my own inner critics.The struggle is not just about remembering your talking points; it is about the emotional beatdown we give ourselves before, during, and after we speak. When we do not have a process to handle this, we rob ourselves of the ability to actually enjoy the impact we make.Tune in to learn how to shift your focus from "performance perfection" to genuine connection. This ensures you show up fully for your audience without abandoning yourself in the process, no matter if you are speaking for 45 minutes or giving a 5-minute update.I share my personal protocol for preparation and celebration that ensures you walk away feeling proud, regardless of the outcome.Episode Highlights:The Preparation Paradox: Why memorizing your script is not about being robotic; it is about creating safety for your nervous system so you can be present.The Two Ways to Show Up: We always focus on showing up for the audience, but I explain why showing up for yourself with grace is the missing link.Celebrating the Service: How to silence the post-game analysis and simply say "I was of service" to build confidence for next time.Quotables:"I teach inner critic work because I have to do so much work on myself with my own inner critics and keeping them at bay.""Not because you might be looking at being a speaker in your career, but more so because regardless of your professional field, you probably have to get in front of folks from time to time.""How are you showing up for your audience and how are you showing up yourself?"Tosca's Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.comGet in Touch with Tosca https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contactLinkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

Human skills are the ability to deeply look at yourself, understand your patterns, and realize that to be a successful leader, you must put yourself first in the equation of your life. For years, many of us have been indoctrinated into roles of self-sacrifice; whether as the "caregiver" or the "provider," we often find ourselves at the very end of the list. When we abandon ourselves this way, we operate from an empty tank, leading to resentment, burnout, and physical health risks.Tune in to learn how to identify the "hits" of instant gratification that keep you from setting boundaries, and why putting yourself first is actually the most service-oriented choice you can make. By filling your own cup first, you move from depletion to an overflowing capacity that allows you to model a more patient, present, and effective way of leading in a chaotic 2026.Episode Highlights:The Human Skills Deficit: Why the world has overemphasized technical skills for too long, leaving our human connection out of balance.The Cost of the "Yes": Tosca shares a personal story of how ignoring her own stamina during a family trip led to walking pneumonia.Gendered Conditioning: Breaking down how societal expectations for both women and men create a pressure to self-sacrifice to the point of self-abandonment.The Ripple Effect: Understanding how your self-care provides a model for others to reject hustle culture and martyrdom.Micro-Experiments: Practical ways to start honoring your needs, starting with something as simple as not delaying a bathroom break.Quotables:[01:00:45] "To be a successful leader, you must put yourself first in the equation of your life."[01:01:22] "Your ability to deeply reflect on yourself, your emotions, your thoughts, your behaviors, your patterns: and your ability to then make a new choice for yourself is what will be the key for how you level up your leadership."[01:13:30] "You have more capacity and patience to be of service because you are actually serving from an overflowing cup versus serving from a depleted cup."Tosca's Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.comGet in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contactLinkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

"I don’t believe we can heal things we don’t understand"-Stacey UhrigWe often think of trauma as the big, explosive events: war, violence, or catastrophe. But what about the paper cuts?.What about the relentless pressure of "not enoughness" that accumulates over decades?.In this episode, I sit down with Stacey Uhrig, a Trauma Recovery Coach who helps people flip their mindset. We aren't just talking about "soft skills" here; we are talking about the essential Human Skills required to lead yourself and others when the ground falls out from under you. Stacey shares her deeply personal story of the 2012 financial collapse that decimated her family business and left her facing a "Defcon 10" level of stress. She lost her savings, her security, and her peace of mind. But in that darkness, she found a whisper. She found a micro-practice of gratitude that pulled her back from the edge, one hour at a time.Tune in to learn how you might be bypassing your own needs and operating from a dysregulated nervous system , so that you can finally release the invisible brakes holding you back and lead with genuine clarity and peace.This conversation is for the high-achiever who feels like they are pushing a boulder up a hill every single day. If you are successful on paper but exhausted in spirit, this is your permission slip to stop, get curious, and listen to what your body has been screaming at you. 🦉Episode Highlights:Defining the Wound: Why trauma isn't just what happened to you; it’s also what didn't happen (like emotional neglect) and how you adapted to survive it.The "Hurt" Assessment: Stacey explains her tool for identifying the healing unresolved roots of trauma (HURRT) and why standard ACE scores miss the mark for many high-performers.Generational Baggage: A fascinating look at epigenetics and how the stress your grandmother felt could be living in your nervous system today.The Body Keeps the Score: Stacey opens up about her autoimmune diagnoses (Endometriosis, Raynaud’s, RA) and how she put her RA into remission by combining medical treatment with deep somatic release.Micro-Gratitude: The specific, no-cost strategy Stacey used to rebuild her safety when she had $500 to her name and a family to feed.Human Skills > Soft Skills: Why you cannot effectively lead a team or a business until you understand the "parts" of you that are driving the bus.Quotables:[02:07:50] "Trauma is the way that you are living to protect yourself from touching that wound."[03:03:00] "I didn't know that I took for granted that I can pay my bills... I wanted to be grateful for all of it while I had it because I never knew when I would not have it."[03:23:01] "No one's broken. You just adapted to life in a way that's no longer working for you."Links and Resources:Connect with Stacey Uhrig:Instagram: www.instagram.com/staceyuhrigWebsite: www.flipyourmindset.comHURRT Assessment: www.flipyourmindset.com/hurrt8-week course on healing anxiety: www.flipyourmindset.com/thecalmcodeBook Recommendations from this Episode:Break The Cycle by Dr. Mariel BuquéIt Didn't Start With You by Mark WolynnBully Market by Jamie Fiore HigginsThe Myth of Normal by Dr. Gabor MatéThe Biology of Trauma by Dr. Aimie ApigianFind them all here: https://www.flipyourmindset.com/book-recommendationTosca's Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.comGet in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contactLinkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

Starting a new year "well" isn't about forced optimism or arbitrary calendar dates; it is about honoring your internal rhythm and finding your footing before you sprint.For years, I noticed a pattern where my personal "new year" didn't actually kick in until the spring equinox. I used to feel the pressure of expectations and conditioning that I should be excited in January, even when I felt like I was at low tide. Recognizing that new chapters are a gradual transition like the tide coming in rather than a light switch flipping on, changed how I approach my goals.Tune in to learn how you might be sabotaging your success by rushing past the closure of 2025, so that you can create a sustainable, grounded foundation for the year ahead.Episode Highlights:​The "Light Switch" Myth: Untangling the belief that a new calendar year means an instant internal shift; recognizing that regression is part of the flow.​The Power of Closure: Noticing which "loose ends" (like unfinished financial tasks or unresolved conversations) are draining your energy and need to be shut down before you move forward.​Finding Your Compass: Why you don't always need a specific destination, but you do need a directional tool—whether that is a word, an affirmation, or a vision board—to keep from getting blown away by the wind.Quotables:​[00:02:40] "We have the ability to start over every day, every minute, every second, and so we don't have to put pressure on feeling this sense of a new chapter on a particular day." ​[00:06:40] "New beginnings can be way more powerful when you've made some intentional actions for closure." ​[00:20:25] "I wish for you a start to the year that is coming from the stillness of your heart and not the busyness of your mind."Tosca's Links and Resources:​Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter​Tosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com​Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact​Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/​Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

As another year wraps up, you may find yourself reflecting on what you achieved, what you didn’t, and where you hope to go next. It’s a natural process, but it can easily stir up a voice we know all too well: The Inner Critic. This week’s episode on The Unlock Lab, I address the inner critic that measures your success harshly. I highlight the importance of setting your own measures based on what matters to you rather than what others expect, and how to understand and tame the inner critic through a compassionate and truthful self assessment. This is a reminder to celebrate your achievements and to see your inner critic for what it is - just one part of you trying to keep you protected and safe from disappointment. Tune in to learn how to reclaim what success means to you, and end the year grounded in trust instead of self-judgment. Episode Highlights:Shift out of the inner critic negative loopThe inner critic rarely considers reality; the unexpected challenges, shifting priorities or global uncertainty that shaped your year. Reflect on how you have lived this year; did you show up for yourself and others with integrity?Quotables:[00:07:54]"Let's remember that inner critics tell you lies. Let's remember that this work of mastering and shifting our inner critic dialogue is to check for the actual truth. 'Cause your inner critic is feeding you lies, and we're not gonna have it. We're not gonna end our year in despair because our inner critic is running amuck."[00:12:58]"As you think about your measures of success, you can ask yourself; What types of things did you prioritize? And you may need to really sit with that for a minute because you are prioritizing and reprioritizing your life every single day. It's constant. And with all the things going on in the world, sometimes the prioritization was just maintaining our sanity and not falling into a deep hole of despair, and that is valid as a priority."[00:19:12]"I want you to consider what season have I been in? Was it a season of grief? Was it a season of personal growth and focus on self? Was it a season of giving yourself permission to just be and stop engaging in the hustle culture? Maybe it was a season of building your confidence and going slower and being more assured in your decisions."Tosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca’s Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.comGet in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contactLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Props for:Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.comPodcast editing by: Landis Podcast Editing https://www.landispodcastediting.com

Discernment is the ability to make the best possible choice for yourself - which is the recognition that you have the sovereignty to choose what is truly for you. It took me years to learn how I was giving away my time, energy and resources without being discerning enough. Being selective about which relationships and places you invest in will change the trajectory of your life, because you’ll be in more alignment with what you are worthy of. Tune in to learn where you might be self abandoning or accepting less than you’re deserving, so that you can honor yourself, your desires and your standards at a new level. And why not start now when we are in the hustle and bustle of holiday time!? Episode Highlights:•Untangling yourself from the belief that your connections automatically get unlimited access•Noticing when you’re saying yes from scarcity (fear of missing out, fear of being lonely, fear of closing a door)•Learning to trust that when you say no to what’s not aligned so you create space for what will serve you in the long termQuotables:[00:04:57] “Discernment has been a big word for me for several years because I had this big realization several years ago about who I was allowing in my life and who had the opportunity to have access to me and where I was giving my resources to. And I realized that there was a lot of folks that were getting my time and energy that really hadn't earned a spot there.”[00:09:29]“ I would stay on calls well past the point of value. I would stay on to be that support person and to give and to hold space. It was my way of giving and over time I realized I'm just giving away too damn much. It's not about not being generous and it's not about not giving, it's about being discerning about what level of that works for you.”[00:20:17]“ As you are moving through this season, as you are recognizing, oh my gosh, we're already several days into December, remember that you get to take your power back. You get to take your time and your energy back through discernment and it's not a selfish act because what is in your best interest is in the best interest of others as well."Tosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca’s Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.comGet in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contactLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Props for:Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.comPodcast editing by: Landis Podcast Editing https://www.landispodcastediting.com

Open wounds in relationships can throw off how we move in the world because it causes us dis-ease not only in our mind, but often in our body too. In this week’s episode, I dig into what it takes to move through relationship unrest when the other person can’t show up, won’t take responsibility, or simply isn’t able to meet you where you are. It's a big and emotional topic, but finding healing and resolution within yourself holds so much power. Once you stop waiting for an apology or a resolution that may never come, you finally start reclaiming your peace. I share personal stories about over-giving, ignoring red flags and staying in relationships long after receiving signs that you outgrew them. Tune in to hear how healing comes from taking responsibility for your own emotional process, practicing self-forgiveness, and accepting people exactly as they are, not as you wish they were.Episode Highlights:Heal without an apology, to take your power back.Healing happens when you feel and release your emotions, not by waiting for time to pass.Recognize your relationship patterns, and what you need to shift to attract what you need now in your life.Quotables:[00:06:45]“ Time does not heal all wounds, what heals all wounds is you actively taking action for your healing. That's what works. Time will pass, but if you're not taking action on finding resolve within yourself around these relationships, it's not just gonna go away on its own.”[00:10:17]“ Healing our relationships is a process of self forgiveness. It's also a process of loving the other person through who they are right now, and what their limitations are right now, and this can even include family.”[00:32:10]“ One of the things I also wanna leave you with in your relationship healing journey is to ask yourself, do you miss the person or do you miss the idea of who you wish that person could be for you?”Tosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca’s Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.comGet in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contactLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Props for:Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.comPodcast editing by: Landis Podcast Editing https://www.landispodcastediting.com

“Think easy” is just one of the mantras and wisdom shared by Vino Nobile winemaker, Niccolò Tiberini. It serves as a reminder to clear the cloud around our choices so we can see what is true. When I met Niccolò in Tuscany I knew before I left his winery that I had to have him on my podcast. I mean, the Tiberini the tagline is 'deep roots' - need I say more? His life and work are rooted (quite literally) in the vineyards of his seventh generation winery. We talked about his journey from aspiring professional footballer (aka soccer) to choosing a life that prioritizes happiness over money. Through stories about winemaking, travel and navigating change, Niccolò shares his philosophy on simplicity, identity, and creating a life that feels good, even if that means long work days.Episode Highlights:When things feel complicated - think like childFocus on the solution not the problemYour emotions are more powerful than your pro / con listWhen you like what you do - you will do your work wellFocus on what’s working vs what’s notA measure of success: did I do better today than yesterday?When it comes to change, focus on the best way to leverage those changes Don’t fall in the trap of overthinking; if you’re thinking about change, it’s because you want itYour life is in your controlThere are no wrong choices. The point is to make one.Quotables:[00:06:02] - Niccolò"For me, it's not important to have a lot of money, but it is important to be satisfied about life and I decided to come back to work in the winery because this is my passion."[00:38:31] - Niccolò“If you’re not sure about something, you start looking for justification and when you do that, it’s because you don’t really want it.”[01:00:27] - Tosca "What are these connections we can make to this journey of life, of every milestone, of every decision point and coming back to remembering who we are and what our desires are, what our vision is, because that is the truest path. That's what I'm taking away."Niccolò Tiberini LinksWebsite: https://tiberiniwine.com/en/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tiberiniwinery/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tiberiniwinery/?locale=it_IT Tosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca’s Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.comGet in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contactLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Props for:Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.comPodcast editing by: Landis Podcast Editing https://www.landispodcastediting.com

Are you tired of being in your head all the time? Do you overthink and regularly focus on making plans for your next move, but never feel at ease in the moment?In this week’s episode of The Unlock Lab, I dig into why we default to living from our headspace; old wounds and stress push us to doing what makes us feel in control. This protective habit can leave you feeling disconnected and fatigued. I talk about my journey from constantly overanalyzing to embracing a heart-centered, intuitive approach. I share the rituals I use to connect with my body that keep me grounded and present and out of my head. As the holiday season approaches, I invite you to join me in making space for presence, honoring your emotions, and reaching out for support when you need it the most.Episode Highlights:Recognizing when you are operating from your headspace instead of heartspace, and why it mattersSimple daily rituals and practices to anchor back into your feelings, body and intuitionHow to embrace support, presence and heart- centered action, especially during busy or challenging timesQuotables:[00:06:21]"It's okay to check in with how I'm feeling and it's okay to check in with my intuition. I realize what I have to do in these moments that I'm living from my head. I have to ask myself, am I doing what I wanna do or what I think I should do?"[00:08:30]"Passing the baton is honoring that your brain isn't actually meant to run the show, your body and heart space is. This actually is the way we're intended to live our lives from these spaces. We've just grown so accustomed to doing quite the opposite."[00:13:40]"If you're in that overthinking mode and overdoing mode, then my biggest counsel to you is to pass the baton from your head to your heart and to see what happens. Look for the evidence of the magic that happens when you make this shift."Tosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca’s Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.comGet in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contactLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Props for:Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.comPodcast editing by: Landis Podcast Editing https://www.landispodcastediting.com

Holding onto our confidence is critical to weather the storms that come - and oh do they come! In this week’s episode of The Unlock Lab, I explore what it takes to nurture confidence even when we can't seem to open the doors we are determined to open. Reflecting on my own ongoing journey navigating rejection and resilience, I share nine actionable tips, including reframes that have helped me stay grounded and optimistic. I talk about why confidence is not a fixed state but a continuous practice and how reframing rejection, leaning on community and creating your own opportunities can make all the difference. Tune in to find encouragement and actionable ideas to help you reclaim your power and keep moving forward.Episode Highlights:Reframing rejection as protection or redirection rather than a personal failureBuilding internal confidence through self validation and not relying solely on external approvalHow to create your own opportunities when traditional doors stay closedQuotables:[00:08:36]"I want you to celebrate your bravery and your vulnerability for going after something that maybe wasn't gonna be a surefire win. That celebration, even in the face of rejection is so freaking powerful."[00:16:03] “The real work in staying confident through thick and thin is that you are first and foremost validating yourself and the external validation the external yeses just become the icing on the cake versus the whole damn cake.”[00:21:17]"We can't live in the future. We can't live in the past. We have to live in the present. So by honoring that, we can remember, we're okay and we are resilient and we can keep going just in this present moment."Tosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca’s Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.comGet in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contactLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Props for:Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.comPodcast editing by: Landis Podcast Editing https://www.landispodcastediting.com

In this week’s episode of The Unlock Lab I speak with Roderick Jefferson, a Keynote Speaker & Go To Market Transformation Leader, author and survivor. Roderick opens up about his career journey, often being 'the only' in the room as a black man in tech and what he sacrificed along the way. He also shares his terrifying health event that shook every part of his life, forcing him to rethink what success really means and the impetus for his book "Stroke of Success". His journey is not just about overcoming adversity, it’s about finding courage, faith and the deep joy in life’s most important relationships. If you've ever felt overwhelmed by the pressures of leadership or caught in the endless hustle, Roderick’s story will touch your heart and inspire you to choose what truly matters.ABOUT RODERICKRoderick Jefferson is an internationally recognized business and transformational speaker. He has shared his dynamic and energetic voice in a variety of events, including keynotes, guest lectures, webinars, podcasts, and domain expertise panels, with companies such as the ATD Conference, B2BMX Conference, Cisco, Collibra, LinkedIn, MindTickle, Revasum, Oracle, Sales Assembly Conference, Sales 3.0 Conference, Sales Enablement PRO Conference, Salesforce (Dreamforce), SAP, Seismic, Showpad, SiriusDecisions, Uber, and Zoom. Roderick is also an acknowledged thought leader in the sales enablement space and the author of the Amazon bestselling book Sales Enablement 3.0: The Blueprint to Sales Enablement Excellence, and Sales 3.0 Companion Workbook.He has held various executive leadership, sales, sales enablement, operations, and customer experience roles at AT&T, B Marketo, Oracle, Salesforce, and others.When he's not speaking or working on enablement projects and programs, he can be found perfecting the art of barbecuing or playing bocce in my backyard with his family.Episode Highlights:Carrying the responsibility of being “the only one,” Roderick turned his challenges into a heartfelt mission to lift others up.The courageous choice to take charge of his career in a way that felt authentic and aligned with his true self. Incredible story of survival - being in the 2% Quotables:[00:27:26] - Roderick"I got a new focus on life and I call it my four Fs. Faith, family, friends, and fun and you know what really sucks is the older we get, that last four fun seems to disappear from our lives because we're too busy living to enjoy being alive."[00:29:11] - Roderick"You only get one chance to live and I always think what I used to tell my son, life's not a video game. Once you turn it off, that's it, right but most people don't get a second chance. Find a way to live and find something that you do just for yourself to give yourself some grace, to give yourself an opportunity to close out all the noises of life."[00:34:33] - Roderick"I still believe that there are a ton of good people in this world, regardless of what the media would want you, I believe, to believe, and I wanna be one of those good people, not just to be a good guy, but because I firmly believe that empathy and being human will overcome all of the craziness that's going in today's world."Roderick's Links and Resources:Stroke of Success Book: https://www.roderickjefferson.com/stroke-of-success Sales 3.0 Book Link: https://roderickjefferson.com/book Keynote Speaker Highlight Reel: https://bit.ly/3zRVNJaLinkedIn: https://linktr.ee/roderickjefferson Podcast Playlist (Spotify): http://bit.ly/4mHhSOv Tosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca’s Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.comGet in Touch: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contactLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Props for:Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.comPodcast editing by: Landis Podcast Editing https://www.landispodcastediting.com

How we tell the story of our career shapes how others see us, and plays a huge role in the possibilities for what's next. This episode is inspired by my Talent Development Magazine article “Level Up Your Brand Narrative,” and I dive into what it means to own and evolve your professional story. I talk about how your personal brand isn’t something you set and forget, but rather an ongoing reflection of your growth. This is why refining your narrative ahead of year end review season can help you feel more confident, clear and ready for conversations about your future. When you tune in, you'll hear the origin story of how this article came to life, a reminder that being open to unexpected outcomes can lead to opportunities you never imagined. I'll also help you make this process feel lighter by encouraging you to tap into a creative approach to reviewing your journey to date. Episode Highlights:Six tips for leveling up your brand and narrative Why and how your year end review process can start right nowStaying open to unexpected opportunities and changing your mind along the wayQuotables:[00:09:12]"The first thing you have to do is make sure that you are asking yourself what needs healing from the past still? What else do I have to let go of? What else do I have to forgive?"[00:13:41]"If you're an entrepreneur or you have a side business, review yourself, celebrate yourself, honor where your opportunities are. Honor what you've accomplished and update your resume."[00:18:01]"With just about all my clients, we end up doing work around brand narrative because I know that they need a mirror and a reflector to help them see just how powerful they are. And to see the beauty in their journey and the threads and the themes of their journey that they can start talking about themselves in a different way."Tosca’s Links and Resources:Level Up Your Brand Narrative: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/_files/ugd/23d731_1fd2b0e81aee4559b95c21b675639bfe.pdfSign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca’s Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.comGet in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contactLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Props for:Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.comPodcast editing by: Landis Podcast Editing https://www.landispodcastediting.com

Do you have a financial inner critic? That relentless, nagging voice that keeps you tangled in scarcity, fear and shame around money? In this episode of The Unlock Lab I talk about how you can change your entire relationship with this part of you. I share pieces of my own journey with deeply embedded financial thoughts, along with six practical ways to quiet this critic, reduce your stress, and make more empowered money decisions. This is the first step toward building a healthier and more abundant relationship with your finances. Episode HighlightsExamples of the kinds of things this critic says How the financial inner critic impacts your behaviors.Six tips to reduce overwhelm and shift into clarity.Why learning to face the truth of your finances creates freedom.Quotables:[00:00:00]"The more that you can diffuse the high emotions related to finances and tap into the rational, calm, stable person that you are, the easier this is going to be for you."[00:23:08] "I'm not saying that the way that I am expressing how I see abundance is right or wrong, it's just how I've come to find more expansion in it, less harshness with myself in it. More freedom with it, and whatever that is for you, I wish that for you as well."[00:38:29]"There are so many resources out there, I'll just go back to like the first step is just to investigate what are the thoughts, the beliefs that you have about money right now? What are the ones that you've been telling yourself for a long time? And that will pave the pathway to understanding what you actually believe about resources and having enough, about being able to afford things."Tosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca’s Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.comGet in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contactLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Props for:Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.comPodcast editing by: Landis Podcast Editing https://www.landispodcastediting.com

If you quit your job, got laid off, fired, or if you have no clients in your pipeline, this episode is for YOU! Most of us were never taught how to be in limbo with grace and with ease. We’ve been conditioned to work nonstop, to fill every gap, and to treat career pauses like failures instead of the natural part of life they really are. In this week’s episode, I invite you to see the seasons between jobs, clients or opportunities as a chance to stop rushing and finally breathe. I walk you through eight ways to navigate this space with more ease and hope, from honoring your emotions and celebrating endings, to releasing the pressure of figuring it all out right away. Pauses don’t come often, but when they do, they can open the door to something better than you imagined.Episode Highlights:8 tips for navigating the uncertainty of being in-betweenWhy pressing pause and normalizing career breaks are importantHow to care for yourself and shift the story you tell about this seasonQuotables:[00:00:03]"You are where you're meant to be, nothing is wasted, life is happening for you and not to you. So how can you release the pressure that you're putting on yourself?"[00:08:24]"When I say taking a true pause, I mean that you're not focused on what's next quite yet. That will come but this pause is so critical after something has just ended because there's a lot of work to be done in that pause. A lot of celebrating and a lot of just being."[00:25:26]"Part of this in between time is to really find out about your natural rhythm. Likely your natural rhythm has been put on the back burner or beaten out of you over the years or over the course of your life, because of how you were conditioned to be. And there will be times that you find your rhythm in this journey, and there will be times where you realize you need a different approach."Tosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca’s Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.comGet in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contactLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/Props for:Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.comPodcast editing by: Landis Podcast Editing https://www.landispodcastediting.com

In this episode of The Unlock Lab, I sit down with comedian and motivational speaker Pat Dwyer to talk about what it really means to lean into the unknown. Pat shares his journey from studying politics to performing with Second City, navigating workplaces and ultimately stepping into his role as a sought after speaker. We talk about the power of team mentality, taking leaps of faith, facing challenges you never saw coming and why humor is such a powerful tool for resilience. Pat also opens up about his family’s choice to live in an RV during the pandemic and finding freedom in the unknown. This conversation is equal parts laughter, reflection and practical wisdom you can carry into your own life.ABOUT PAT DWYERFor over two decades, Pat Dwyer has captivated and motivated audiences worldwide. Pulling from his background in Improv and Sketch Comedy with legendary institutions The Second City, iO Theater, and ComedySportz, among others, Pat has merged these talents in training and performance with the strategic mindset he cultivated during the early days working at notable Chicago startups like Groupon and Ignite. As you could guess, Pat's journey has since lent him an opportunity to help organizations all around the globe find their own unique blend of leadership and team enhancing effectiveness.Now, as a sought-after speaker at conferences, events, and association meetings, Pat brings his energetic, hilarious and wildly engaging approach to both personal and organizational resilience. He’s definitely a speaker you don’t want to miss as Pat Dwyer is easily your most engaging route to people-driven Innovation and change.Episode Highlights:Why a team mentality makes the impossible feel possibleHow humor can transform challenges into resilienceLessons from living on the road during the pandemicThe TILT approach to smoothing out the journey of lifePay attention to your own LEGO'sQuotables:[00:08:13] - Tosca "I think we're in a time where we're jumping back into our goals and we often need other people in that pursuit and so we just can't forget that we can't do it alone and that it's okay to ask and it's also okay to get a no, or be ghosted or get rejected, because that's part of the process too."[00:45:17] - Pat "Everybody has their own experiences, their own pile of Legos that they're all playing in to try to figure out what they're building in that moment. Friends like that for me is in realizing that if everybody has their own Legos, they're not actually concerned with my Legos."[01:06:52]"We don't known where it's going ever, and no one of us knows where it is going. We can try to pretend that we can control that. There's data coming that we have no clue is on the table yet, and that is fine. It is more a matter of how we react to it and how we use it and bank it and keep it in our minds so that we can use it to our advantage later."Pat's Links:LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/pat-dwyer/Facebook, Instagram, Youtube - @IKnowPatDwyerWebsite: https://www.patdwyerwastaken.com/Tosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca’s WebsiteGet in Touch with ToscaLinkedInInstagramGiving Flowers To:Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteoPodcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

This week on The Unlock Lab, I talk about how to address and manage our triggers, which is very much tied to working our emotional intelligence muscles. Triggers can feel overwhelming whether they happen in personal relationships or in the workplace, but they don’t have to derail you. In this episode, I talk about how I have responded to triggers in a way I'm not proud of, and how I learned to come back to compassion, truth and self-respect. I explain why triggers are actually gifts, how to use them as guides for healing, and share actions that you can take to help you recover faster, and experience them less often over time. Episode Highlights:Practical ways to pause, create space and respond with intention.Reframing triggers as opportunities for healing, growth and better leadershipWhy compassion and ownership reduce the impact of future triggers.Quotables:[00:00:33]"Improve your emotional intelligence. It's really important to do this work, not just for the personal relationships in your life, but your professional relationships."[00:09:47]"I wrote about this triggering experience and it took me about a day to move through the emotions. I had to let myself feel what was coming up and what was coming up were emotions, not from actually the present moment, but they were coming up from the past."[00:26:41]"There are certain emotions that we are afraid of having. Anger is one of them and I believe all emotions serve us. They're our greatest teacher and they show us where the work is."Tosca’s Links and Resources:Related blog post: The Real Power Move as a Leader Isn't What You thinkSign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca’s WebsiteGet in Touch with ToscaLinkedInInstagramGiving Flowers To:Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteoPodcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

In Part 2 of my two part series with Anton Gunn, we move deeper into the journey, from discouragement and struggle to leading at the highest levels of government. This isn’t a story about chasing titles, it’s about what it takes to lead with conviction when the path is unclear. Anton shares how hip hop music helped him survive his darkest moments, how a single mentor changed the trajectory of his life, and how staying rooted in service carried him all the way to advising a president. This episode is about grit, guidance, and the kind of servant leadership we need more of.Anton's BioAnton Gunn has a Masters Degree in Social Work from University of South Carolina and was a resident Fellow at Harvard. He is the bestselling author of 'The Presidential Principles' and has been featured in TIME Magazine, Forbes, BBC, NPR and on Good Morning America. Recently, Anton was named by Fierce Healthcare as one of the Most Influential Minority Executives in Healthcare. As an international speaker and consultant, he has worked with organizations like Mercedes Benz, T-Mobile, Entrepreneurs' Organization Sodexo, KPMG, Verizon Wireless, Aetna, Blue Shield of California, American College of Surgeons, FINRA, and the Boeing Company.From playing SEC Football and being the first African American in history elected to the SC legislature from his district early in his career, to now serving on multiple boards, he has spent his life helping people build diverse high performing teams and world class leadership culture. Episode Highlights:How hip hop became the soundtrack of Anton's life, and a survival tool.The story of how one leader, not only saw his potential but equipped him to lead, and how that shaped everything that followed.How Anton followed his passion for fighting injustice led him from community organizing, to an elected office, to the White House and building his own consultancy.Quotables:[00:02:25]"All of our lives are movies and we go to different scenes. We go to different segments of our life that are different scenes in a movie, different parts of the story. And every great movie has a soundtrack."[00:12:22]"People talk about knowledge is power. Lenora gave me a lot of knowledge, but what she gave me more than just knowledge is she taught me how to apply that knowledge, because applied knowledge is actually power."[00:34:16]"You may not be able to solve everything, but there is something that you can do to make it right. That's what I've been teaching to leaders from stages, is that it may be wrong in your culture. It may be wrong in your company. It may be wrong on your team. There may be things that are out of your control, but there is something that you can do to make it right."Anton's Links and Resources:Free leadership toolkitLinkedInInstagramFacebookX (Twitter)The Presidential Principles BookThis episode is generously sponsored by: Human Design by HollyHumanDesignByHolly.comUse Code: UNLOCKLAB to get 25% off when booking your first readingTosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca’s WebsiteGet in Touch with ToscaLinkedInInstagramGiving Flowers To:Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteoPodcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

Get ready for the leadership conversation you didn't know you needed. In this special 2-part series, you will meet Anton Gunn, former senior advisor to President Barack Obama, and one of the world's leading authorities on socially conscious leadership. Part 1 dives into Anton's raw and unfiltered story, from college football disappointments and careers dead ends to moments of powerlessness that nearly broke him. What unfolds is a masterclass in perseverance, humility and the mentor that changed Anton's life for years to come. We talk about service, career pivots and the beautiful way life reroutes us to our calling, if we're paying attention. Anton generously shares moments of darkness behind incredible success and impact, with a determination to defeat all the odds. Anton Gunn has a Masters Degree in Social Work from University of South Carolina and was a resident Fellow at Harvard. He is the bestselling author of 'The Presidential Principles' and has been featured in TIME Magazine, Forbes, BBC, NPR and on Good Morning America. Recently, Anton was named by Fierce Healthcare as one of the Most Influential Minority Executives in Healthcare. As an international speaker and consultant, he has worked with organizations like Mercedes Benz, T-Mobile, Entrepreneurs' Organization Sodexo, KPMG, Verizon Wireless, Aetna, Blue Shield of California, American College of Surgeons, FINRA, and the Boeing Company.From playing SEC Football and being the first African American in history elected to the SC legislature from his district early in his career, to now serving on multiple boards, he has spent his life helping people build diverse high performing teams and world class leadership culture. Episode Highlights:A college football dream became a catalyst for leadership and inner strength. The power of mentorship, generosity and not blocking your blessings. Finding purpose in pain and learning how to lead from a place of power.Quotables:[00:07:09] - Anton"One of the cornerstones of my philosophy in life is to be useful to the people around you, because we can't control everything."[00:15:46] - Anton"I lost focus on the goals that I wanted, the things that I wanted. I was in what I call a hostile environment, that I threw what I wanted to do out of the window, and my only point was to survive. To me, surviving was, how do I get a college degree as fast as possible to get away from these coaches and to get away from this school?"[00:42:28] - Anton "Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain that it takes to change."Anton's Links and Resources:Free leadership toolkitLinkedInInstagramFacebookX (Twitter)The Presidential Principles BookThis episode is generously sponsored by: Human Design by HollyHumanDesignByHolly.comUse Code: UNLOCKLAB to get 25% off when booking your first readingTosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca’s WebsiteGet in Touch with ToscaLinkedInInstagramGiving Flowers To:Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteoPodcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

In this week’s episode of The Unlock Lab, I talk to Benjamin Wolff, for a powerful conversation about the value of artistic and creative skills in the workplace. Ben is a Forbes leadership contributor, author, and former professional cellist. In our conversation he shares his personal journey from the concert stage, to corporate talent solutions, and we talk about why human skills like storytelling, emotional intelligence, and deep focus matter more than ever in the age of AI. We talk about what it really means to bring creativity into business, not just as performative one-hit-wonders, but as a core strategy for growth and innovation. This one is for anyone who’s ready to see talent differently.Benjamin Wolff has been a Forbes Leadership contributor since 2017, writing about what corporate workplaces can learn from the arts. With his background as a professional cellist he brings a unique perspective to the conversation around business finding value in untapped pools of talent. He has delivered innovative programs on creativity, teamwork, and emotional intelligence for companies and organizations such as Cisco, Ingram Micro, the Association for Manufacturing Excellence, the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, and Rockefeller University.Episode Highlights:How artists bring essential human skills, like focus, storytelling, and emotional intelligence into the workplace.Why now is the moment for organizations to rethink hiring practices and embrace creative talent in the age of AI.Practical ways leaders can start integrating creativity into their teams, including “translator” roles and creative personal practices.Quotables:[00:03:44]"A lot of people, they appreciate the arts. They enjoy the arts, but what they get is the product. They go to the theatre and they see a play, or they see a movie, or they hear a concert, or they see a ballet. But most people, unless they're connected professionally in some way, never see what goes into it."[00:14:47]"Immeasurable is different from unmeasurable in that, it's something that not only can't you measure, but that shouldn't be measured."[00:22:32]"Core skills are the things that it's very hard to teach. You can learn about the specifics of a job, but those other skills you take with you from experience to experience, from job to job, they become part of your core. It is critical for Corporations to think about who they hire."Ben's Links:Book: The Value of Immeasurable ThingsWebsiteYouTube LinkedInInstagramTosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca’s WebsiteGet in Touch with ToscaLinkedInInstagramGiving Flowers To:Theme music by: Cello music by Benjamin WolffPodcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

In this week's episode of The Unlock Lab, I speak with former state police officer turned inspirational speaker, David Atkins. David shares his winding career story and opens up about the exact moment he made one bold, pressing decision that changed everything. From working through financial struggles with his wife, to becoming a successful businessman and speaker, David shows how vision, faith and courage fuel transformation. We dive into practical steps, and what it takes to rewrite your story starting TODAY. This conversation packs a powerful punch for how to get unstuck through David's "One Decision Away" philosophy. Whether you're feeling down and out, or would love an infusion of energy to continue to propel you forward, this episode is for you! David Atkins is a retired New York State Police Captain after 22 years of service. While working full time with the NY State Police, David also built a million dollar international direct sales business with Beachbody, leading a team of 1,400 people today. He became a Keynote Motivational Speaker presenting to groups of a few hundred people to over 20,000 people in the NFL Super Dome in New Orleans. David published his first book "The Leveled Up Life", is the creator of "The One Decision Away Philosophy" and host of the Personal Perseverance Project Podcast.Episode Highlights:The moment David sat down with his wife and made the one decision that changed everything. How fear, faith and daily discipline fuel real transformation.Why you're never too far gone, and why your next breakthrough could be one choice away. Quotables:[00:25:34] - David "If you're willing to make that one decision today don't worry about three weeks, three months, three years from now. Life will reveal to you what comes next if you're willing to make that one pressing decision in your life today."[00:45:12] - David"What you have is plenty because it's so easy to get caught up with the outside noise on social media and the news and the negativity and all of that stuff. But I'm a big believer like what you have in front of you is plenty, and you know what you need to do."[00:49:26] - David"You have to take care of yourself first, and then you're the best version of yourself for those people that you care about the most."David Atkins Links:Website (note: buy the book here from 7.15-7.20, 2025 and receive 3 bonuses)Instagram LinkedIn This episode is generously sponsored by: Human Design by HollyHumanDesignByHolly.comUse Code: UNLOCKLAB to get 25% off when booking your first readingTosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca’s WebsiteGet in Touch with ToscaLinkedInInstagramGiving Flowers To:Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteoPodcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

In this week's episode, I talk about how to make decisions with more confidence by leaning into self trust, patience and self compassion. I share practical ways to reduce the stress and overwhelm that often come with decision making, like slowing down the urgency, getting intentional with small choices and remove the distraction of figuring out the "how" before you've even landed on '"what" the decisions even is. I also dive into the importance of listening to your body, taking mental space, and relieving the pressure valve of having to make a perfect decisions. These principles can help you make more grounded, empowered choices in your personal and professional life. Episode Highlights:How questioning the urgency of a decision can give you instant clarity.Small choices that build long term trust in yourself.Why the "how" can wait, and what to focus on instead.Quotables:[00:08:53]I would say most of the time when we're struggling with a decision the pathway to doing that is not about asking other people about it, it's about going inward for yourself. We can be looking for all the answers in this period of overwhelm, when actually the best thing that we can do is to actually stop trying to figure it out."[00:11:34]"I was going with the flow I was making the smaller choices about the things that worked for me and what didn't work for me as it related to this relationship. Eventually what ended up happening was my body told me very clearly, this person isn't for you."[00:20:20]"I think we put a lot of pressure on ourselves that once we make a decision is final and it is it, and that is not true, we can change our mind. We can make a different decision."This episode is generously sponsored by: Human Design by HollyHumanDesignByHolly.comUse Code: UNLOCKLAB to get 25% off when booking your first readingTosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca’s WebsiteGet in Touch with ToscaLinkedInInstagramGiving Flowers To:Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteoPodcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

In this week's episode of The Unlock Lab, I'm joined by Ruth Rathblott for a powerful and personal conversation about the cost of hiding who we are. Ruth opens up about concealing her limb difference for over 25 years, and what changed when she finally decided to show up fully. From navigating corporate spaces to embracing her identity as a speaker and author, Ruth walks us through her journey and shares her four-step framework to unhide. We dig into the emotional toll of hiding, how it holds us back in our relationships and careers, and what becomes possible when we step into authenticity and invite others to do the same. Ruth Rathblott, MSW, is an expert on workplace culture and leadership, a TEDx and global keynote speaker, a 2x bestselling author, and an award-winning former nonprofit leader. Born with a limb difference, Ruth speaks on the power of embracing uniqueness, unlocking untapped potential and peak performance, and how the transformative act of unhiding leads to greater freedom and connection. Episode Highlights: Ruth shares her four step process to unhidingThe real life consequences of hiding at work and in life and how it can lead to exhaustion, disconnection and missed opportunitiesWhy leaders have to go first to create cultures where people feel safe to show up as themselvesQuotables:[00:13:35] - Ruth"I literally hid my hand for 25 years. Every outfit I had, always had pockets, longer sleeves, even in summer, just so that I could hide it. I hid it behind bags. I hid it from pictures, I was hiding it all the time. And when we talk about the cost of it, it was exhausting, lonely, and it was something I thought about all the time, it took over my life."[00:20:15] - Ruth"The true gift of connection, is when we can share our differences so that we don't have to keep a facade. We don't have to be perfect, because in our gifts, in that uniqueness, is perfection."[00:29:19] -Ruth"Could you be living your best life? Are you living your best life? How do we, how do you do that? And part of that is the unlocking of what's holding you back. One of the pieces that may be holding you back is the thing that you're hiding."Ruth's Links and Resources:LinkedInInstagramTEDx: When I Stopped Hiding, I Found FreedomRuth's Books:Singlehandedly. Learning to Unhide and Embrace Connection.Unhide & Seek. Live Your Best Life. Do Your Best Work.Tosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca’s WebsiteGet in Touch with ToscaLinkedInInstagramGiving Flowers To:Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteoPodcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

In this special episode, I share my personal love story, celebrating 15 years of marriage. I take you behind the scenes of our relationship; the highs and the hard lessons and how this journey has helped me grow as a person, partner, and as a leader. I unpack eight key takeaways that apply just as much to leadership as they do to love. This episode is a reflection and an invitation to look at how your closest relationships can spark transformation in every area of life, if you tend to the soil they are rooted in. Episode Highlights:The power of trusting your body and intuition in decision making. How freedom and commitment can coexist in healthy relationships Eight lessons learned that translate into personal and professional growth.Quotables:[00:07:03]"At the end of the day, I think that our ability to come back and communicate and be honest with each other has been what's allowed us to last as long as we have."[00:10:57]"What I want you to take away from this is that you deserve to be loved fully for who you are; flaws included, make up excluded. Feel safe with the one you love."[00:19:25]"No matter your commitment, your commitment to somebody else or something else, or an organization, know that you are always free. You are always free in your heart. And let that lead you and let you never forget that."Tosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca’s WebsiteGet in Touch with ToscaLinkedInInstagramGiving Flowers To:Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteoPodcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

In this week's episode, I talk about something that you are probably doing without knowing it. You may be blocking your own blessings. I share my journey of learning to receive, and releasing the habits that kept me from fully embracing life's abundances. I offer practical advice on how to become more aware of these habits and start embracing the generous offers and support from others. If you've ever felt like you're giving too much, saying no too often or shielding yourself from vulnerability, this one's for you. When we open the door to receive it is a huge pathway to professional breakthroughs as well - because it helps us to remain open to opportunities and connection.Episode Highlights:The most common ways we block blessings and how to stop themThe emotional roots of self sabotage, like unworthiness and perfectionismDaily practices to become more open to receiving and living in alignment with abundanceQuotables:[00:05:37]"If you are overgiving, you are leaving no space for people to contribute. That means you are blocking your blessings, and you may never know what could have been possible because you are not leaving that space."[00:18:02]"When you look deeply at our habits of blocking our blessings, it's putting up walls. Perhaps feeling not worthy of what's being presented to us."[00:24:28]"Maybe what the other person needs is an opportunity to be generous, an opportunity to express gratitude. Perhaps the other person is in the process of their growth of being. So when you allow that exchange, it's a gift not just to yourself, but it's a gift to the other person too."This episode is sponsored by: Tosca Coaching and ConsultingTosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca’s WebsiteGet in Touch with ToscaLinkedInInstagramGiving Flowers To:Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteoPodcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

This week I dive deep into one of the most powerful yet overlooked tools for personal growth: asking ourselves 'what do I need?' This episode is all about acknowledging that you are worthy of having your needs met. I share stories about my own therapy breakthroughs, treadmill revelations, and health wake-up calls. I also share practical ways to start meeting your needs as this is a huge unlock for how to get unstuck in whatever emotional wave, or less-than ideal situation you may be spinning in. Episode Highlights:Why asking 'What do I need?' is a game changer and why it can be so hardWhat it can look like to honor your needs in the moment How our bodies speak the truth when we ignore what we truly needThe way vulnerability and needs are connectedQuotables:[00:03:48]"I want you to feel what you're feeling. Let those emotions come up. Because emotions are energy in motion, and if you help them to keep moving, they will transform."[00:16:23]"Giving yourself what you need might literally mean I'm taking a vacation, I'm giving myself what I need, but it also might mean I need to ask somebody else to help me fill this need that I have."[00:22:40]"When we're not in the habit of really asking ourselves what our body needs, we can end up in a situation where our body is literally screaming at us and saying, Hey, you can't ignore this anymore."This episode is generously sponsored by: Mindset MigraineWebsiteLinkedInInstagramUse the code TOSCA for a new customer discountSong referenced in episode:The Daily Grind by Adrian DiMatteoTosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca’s WebsiteGet in Touch with ToscaLinkedInInstagramGiving Flowers :Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteoPodcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

In this week's episode of The Unlock Lab, I talk about the food inner critic, that nagging voice so many of us deal with when it comes to eating and our food choices. This is something I've battled with myself as I grew up in a household with deep associations with food (some good and some not so good). Then, my inner critic became even louder once I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes at the age of 22. Tune in to discover what may lie under the surface of your inner critic. Learn some of my biggest tips for how to shift your relationship with this voice that is not only draining your energy, but dragging you down keeping you from what's most important - your joy! My hope is to help you move towards a healthier, more compassionate relationship with your food inner critic. Episode Highlights:How childhood shame and a Type 1 diabetes diagnosis shaped my food storyTools to shift your relationship with food, including self talk awareness, journaling and redefining what food means to youThe impact of cultural and moral beliefs on how we view foodQuotables:[00:02:28]"I am someone who has struggled with my food, inner critic for much of my life and this episode is an attempt to bring to light this inner critic that is so prevalent for so many people."[00:17:37]"Paying attention to what you're saying to yourself can lead to a shift for a few reasons. It can lead to a shift because it becomes easier to make a new choice about what you want to say to yourself instead, but it can also help you realize how are you draining your own energy or your own life force by saying things that are unkind or untrue."[00:22:23]"Journaling questions so that you can get under the surface of what has become so instinctual and habitualize.: You can ask yourself, what are your beliefs around food? What are your beliefs around what it is, what it represents in your life? And then you can ask yourself, what do you want your relationship with food to be?"Episode Sponsored by:The New Body Project (use code TOSCA to unlock a free week of unlimited classes with your trial session)Tosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca’s WebsiteGet in Touch with ToscaLinkedInInstagramGiving Flowers To:Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteoPodcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

This week I take a closer look at inner confidence, why self validation matters and how relying on external approval can hold you back. I share practical tips to help you build authentic confidence, like setting boundaries, protecting yourself from negative energy, journaling and creating moments of stillness and reflection. I break down the difference between self worth and self confidence with the help of Jamie Kern Lima (from her book WORTHY), and highlight how facing your fears and resistance is key to building self trust. Episode Highlights:Why confidence isn't something to fix but something to uncover.The surprising power of stillness, silence and intentional action in rebuilding confidence.How to recognize and break fee from outdated narratives that erode self belief. Quotables:[00:04:28]“What I think that confidence really is, it's about honoring that you know the truth about who you are and what you are capable of."[00:09:48]"At the core of what happens when we lose our confidence is that we forget who we are, we are often running on outdated narratives and when we have gone down the spiral of self doubt, and are losing our confidence is that we let what happens to us define who we are"[00:25:06]"What we truly believe about ourselves is what enables our inner confidence to shine through, and I believe that the biggest work around this is actually in removing the obstacles to seeing our truth."Episode Sponsored by:Atrium82(Mention Tosca and you will receive a special gift when you book)Tosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca’s WebsiteGet in Touch with ToscaLinkedInInstagramGiving Flowers To:Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteoPodcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

This week I talk about what it looks like to upgrade your personal brand; not just the glossy parts, but the messy, real, and deeply personal journey behind it. I share how I navigated reworking my messaging, investing in a new website and photos, and digging into the truth of who I am today as a speaker and business owner. Whether you're climbing the corporate ladder, deep in your entrepreneurial path, or thinking about your legacy, personal branding is about playing the long game, and it's one you deserve to enjoy and love. I mean - when you love you - the rest becomes magic! I'm sharing my lessons, missteps, and wins so that you can feel validated, inspired, and empowered to take the next step with your own brand.Episode Highlights:Why personal branding isn’t just for entrepreneurs, it’s essential for anyone who wants to manage their career narrative with intention and authenticity.My recent rebranding journey: from reimagining my website and getting new photos, to finding messaging that feels aligned with the next chapter of my business.Advice about trusting yourself, investing before you feel ready, and why your brand is a living, breathing reflection of your evolution.Quotables:[00:04:33]"Brands aren't static and we're constantly evolving it, and that is definitely the case for me. I'm always making updates, whether it's my bio, my descriptions on my social channels, like you name it. There is always something that I'm updating."[00:25:26]"Your personal brand is really about the long game, even if you're listening to this and you're not looking for your next opportunity, or you're not looking for your next client. Personal branding is still something to be active and proactive about because there will come a day where you will need someone to know your name."[00:26:55]"I love helping people with their brands because when we see ourselves, it makes us feel really good. It helps boost our confidence to say, right, that's what I do. That's who I am. That's what I believe in. That's the aesthetic that lights me up."Episode Sponsored by:The New Body Project (use code TOSCA to unlock a free week of unlimited classes with your trial session)Tosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletterTosca’s WebsiteGet in Touch with ToscaLinkedInInstagramGiving Flowers To:Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteoPodcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

In this week’s episode, I talk about what happens after the inner critic gets quieter, when the noise dies down and we’re left with space. The question becomes: what do I fill that space with? I share a story from a client who had done the work of naming and setting boundaries with her inner critic, but found herself unsure of how to bring in something new. That moment sparked this episode. I walk through some of the ways we can start bringing in more of the good stuff, things like affirmations, music, small rituals, joy, creativity, and connection. It’s not about pretending everything’s fine. It’s about choosing what you let in when you’ve finally made space for something better.Episode Highlights:What it looks like to shift from quieting the inner critic to inviting in something newTools for building yourself back upHow creativity, music, and community support the healing processQuotables:[00:04:59]"After you've said, no Negative Nancy, I'm not listening to you today. You are no longer needed here, then what you can do is say, I am manifesting magic in my life every day so that you come back to the truth, you come back to what it is that you want for yourself."[00:07:22]"Listening to music can also be a tactic for drowning out your inner critic narrative when it's really loud. Because when you're listening to loud music, you kind of can't think about much else."[00:15:22]"It is important to allow others to be our cheerleader for us at the same time where we are building the muscle for ourselves. And so I invite you to ask yourself, what is the goodness that I wanna bring into my life proactively?"This episode sponsored by:Atrium82Tosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: https://toscadimatteo.com/optin/Tosca’s WebsiteGet in Touch with ToscaLinkedInInstagramGiving Flowers To:Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteoPodcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

This week’s episode is for anyone who’s ever felt that tug of war about whether or not to go to a networking thing. I’m talking about why it can feel so hard, even when we know it might actually help us. Whether you’re job hunting, prospecting for clients, or just thinking about saying yes to a social invite, the inner critic loves to chime in with stuff like, “You don’t belong,” “It’s gonna be draining,” or “You’ll feel like an outsider.” I share a few stories from my own life, ones that break down how past experiences shape the way we show up now. Episode Highlights:The inner critic narratives that shut us down before we even show up.How I relate to connection and how I’ve reframed those experiences.Simple practice to separate truth from inner critic noise, to show up more aligned and less transactional.Quotables:[00:06:02]"We have to really make space for possibility because our inner critic tells us things in such definitive terms, like it will be this. This is what exactly is gonna happen. And our inner critic can't predict the future. So we have to be very mindful when we hear things like absolutes in the messages that we're telling ourselves."[00:15:30]"Maybe the word 'Networking' itself is triggering to you. I know it definitely can be triggering to people, so maybe you might wanna consider what, maybe I need to reframe, what's the word I want to use instead of networking so that I'm not bringing the baggage of what that networking word means to me."[00:18:13]"Maybe your goal is to just go l, and just going is the success metric. Maybe it's, you know what? I just wanna meet one person that I vibe with while I'm there that may extend to a conversation outside of that event."Tosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: https://toscadimatteo.com/optin/Tosca’s WebsiteGet in Touch with ToscaLinkedInInstagramGiving Flowers To:Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteoPodcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

This week's episode is a masterclass in people-centered leadership. I sit down with the insightful and generous Brian Rollo, a leadership coach and consultant whose journey from bank repo man to transformative leader will absolutely leave you inspired. We talk about what it really means to lead, not from power or process, but from a place of deep empathy, curiosity, and commitment. Brian walks us through his Point-To-Point framework for leadership and shares why “kill the monsters when they’re small” might be your new go-to mantra. If you’ve ever struggled with how to lead others (or yourself), this episode is packed with stories, tools, and perspective shifts you won’t want to miss.Brian Rollo is the founder of Brian Rollo Consulting Group and a leadership expert known for helping teams create real, lasting impact. After years managing hundreds of employees in corporate, he became obsessed with one question: how do you lead so people love to follow? Now, through keynotes, coaching, and workshops, Brian partners with forward-thinking companies across the country to build leaders who lead with authenticity, purpose, and real influence. He’s also the author of The 10 Habits of Influential Leaders, a go-to resource for anyone ready to ditch the title and lead through connection.Episode Highlights:Why Brian’s toughest leadership lesson started with a resignation letterThe POINT TO POINT leadership model: how to go from procedural to transformationalHow to stop managing and start leading on purposeQuotables:[00:14:43] - Brian"In my experience, it all boils down to one thing. Leadership is about taking somebody else or seeing somebody else that is in one state, a less than optimal state, and guiding them to a better state. That is it. That is leadership and if you wanna say you have led somebody, you have to do it. It's part of the process." [0052:00] - Tosca"Being aware of the choices that you're making and are you just, playing to the beat of the drum that's been going on forever and ever? Or are you making choices that honor what you're trying to achieve?"[01:06:51] - Brian"Be authentic to your values. Like if you value connection with people, if you value honesty, if you value integrity, if you value humor, whatever it is you value, be true to that. But realize sometimes you might need to vary up your approach to stay true to that value."Brian Rollo's Links:Free Resource: 1:1 Conversation Combo DocFree Quiz: Leadership AssessmentLinkedInInstagramTosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: https://toscadimatteo.com/optin/Tosca’s WebsiteGet in Touch with ToscaLinkedInInstagramGiving Flowers To:Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteoPodcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

This episode is for anyone who’s ever gone after something big and didn’t get the outcome they wanted. I’m walking you through what happened when I didn’t move on in a storytelling competition, how I prepared for it, what I learned, and how I dealt with the disappointment. I talk about everything from hiring a keynote coach and getting my makeup done, to sitting with my feelings and honoring the effort I put in. I also share what I remind myself (and my clients) when things don’t go our way: there’s always something to take from the experience...and it might be better than what you thought you wanted.Episode Highlights:How I prepped for a high-stakes moment, mentally, emotionally, and logistically.I share what I did to stay grounded and present on stage, and how I handled feedback after.The small (and big) wins I clocked, even though I didn’t get the “prize.”Quotables:[00:09:18]"My intent was, you know what? I'm happy just to have made it this far. And so I just wanna have fun with the experience and have fun with the other contestants and the folks that were gonna be there to witness it."[00:17:11]"I didn't get to move on to the next round and so what I do in those situations and what I am kind of inviting you to do is to take those things that didn't work out and use it as an opportunity for deep reflection about what that experience offered you, what you learned, and how you grew."[00:25:00]"Sometimes we just jump right into the next thing because it gives us comfort, it gives us the sense of control of, well, fine, I'm gonna go make it happen, then I'm gonna try again. And that's great and I want you to do that but sometimes what your heart and soul needs is, give me a minute, give me a minute to reset."Tosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: https://toscadimatteo.com/optin/Tosca’s WebsiteGet in Touch with ToscaLinkedInInstagramEpisode Specific Links:Vital Voice TrainingAmber (my makeup Artist)Giving Flowers To:Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteoPodcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

Letting go isn’t just about releasing what holds us back, it’s about making space for what we truly want. In this episode, I share what it really takes to let go, because spoiler alert: it’s not as easy as motivational memes makes it seem. We’re not in a Disney movie, and there’s no magical three step process. But there are real, tangible tools including somatic body work, journaling, movement, and even shifting our actions, that can help us release old patterns and step into a new version of ourselves. From relationship dynamics to breaking free from limiting beliefs, I share my personal experiences and the messy, real life process of letting go. This one’s for anyone who’s ready to stop white knuckling life so you can move forward with more ease.Episode Highlights:🦉The truth about letting go, it’s not a one and done deal, but an ongoing process that evolves with you.🦉How your body holds onto emotions and why physical movement, energy work, and somatic healing can be game changers.🦉A simple but powerful shift, instead of just trying with all your might to release something.Quotables:[00:04:58]"Your process and needs for letting go will likely evolve over time. What you may have needed the last time you were in a certain situation is different than maybe what you need now because you're constantly evolving and you may need different tools to access for letting go of different situations."[00:14:24]"The intention of letting things go is really powerful. And then the action that you take to support that intention. You can play with it, have fun with it and experiment with it."[00:23:46]"What's in our control is doing the best we can to take the actions to change our own life. because it is our choice, nobody else's choice. We are not going to get rescued by a knight in shining armor. We have got to do it for ourselves."Tosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: https://toscadimatteo.com/optin/Tosca’s WebsiteGet in Touch with ToscaLinkedInInstagramGiving Flowers To:Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteoPodcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

We spend so much time fixing what’s wrong, but what if we put just as much energy into understanding what’s actually working? In this week's episode, I talk about the power of reviewing our wins, not just to celebrate them, but to uncover the patterns that can help us create even more success. Inspired by a client session, I break down how external wins often start with internal shifts, the role that persistence plays, and why honoring our own process makes all the difference. Whether you're in a season of success or searching for your next big breakthrough, this conversation is all about tapping into the truth that you have what it takes already!Episode highlights:How reviewing your wins helps you repeat success (instead of leaving it to chance).The unexpected connection between personal well-being and professional achievements.Why your energy and intent shapes how others respond to you and how to use that to your advantage.Quotables:[00:02:23]"We have got to take the time to look at what is part of the success of our life. What are the tools in our toolbox that have allowed us to experience the good times, that have allowed us to gain the wins. And by looking at these patterns, we have a better chance at repeating them because we're conscious and aware of what we're doing that's leading to the big wins."[00:10:29]"Reviewing your success is about giving time and space to the good in your life."[00:12:10]"We all have these aha's in our life that we can unlock when we pay attention to them. But if we're just moving through life and we're not stopping and saying what's working when it is working, then we're missing a huge opportunity."Tosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: https://toscadimatteo.com/optin/Tosca’s WebsiteGet in Touch with ToscaLinkedInInstagramGiving Flowers To:Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteoPodcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

I’m celebrating episode 50 of The Unlock Lab by sharing what it really means to say yes to your big dreams, whether that’s booking a solo trip to the Caribbean or stepping into something that once felt totally out of reach. In this episode, I’m telling two personal stories about pushing past resistance and embracing the unknown. From giving myself permission to rest and recharge to taking a bold step toward a lifelong dream, I break down the mindset shifts, the inner work, and the actions that make dreams happen. If you’ve been holding yourself back, consider this your sign, it’s time to trust yourself, shake off the fear, and go for it.Episode Highlights:The power of recognising what you truly need and saying yes to it, even when it feels indulgent.Reframing fear and resistance. How I went from an immediate "no" to stepping into an opportunity that aligns with my bigger vision. The importance of taking action, even when the path isn't clear, and learning to detach from the outcome.Quotables:[00:09:00]"I knew it was a yes for me because I would rather do this thing and be disappointed, even feel rejected, than not give myself the opportunity to play the biggest possible game I could play in my own life."[00:13:51]"I believe in my body that if I can dream it, then I can be it. But if I don’t push the envelope of my comfort, if I don’t allow myself to be vulnerable at the risk of disappointment, then I’m just talking a big game but not doing anything about it."[00:17:18]"Now is the time to tap into your potential. Now is the time to say yes to your big dreams. Say yes to the action that is right in front of you, even if you have no idea if that’s the actual pathway to where you want to be, because I believe the universe will nudge you toward what’s meant for you."Tosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: https://toscadimatteo.com/optin/Tosca’s WebsiteGet in Touch with ToscaLinkedInInstagramGiving Flowers To:Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteoPodcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

Networking doesn’t have to suck. In fact, it can be fun, meaningful, and even life-changing. In this episode, I chat with Julie Brown, networking badass and author of This Sh!t Works, to talk about how to build real connections with more fun and ease. We cover a lot of ground including the messy middle of career transitions, why rejection isn’t personal, and how playing the long game in networking can open doors you didn’t even know existed. Whether you love meeting new people or would rather hide in the corner, Julie’s direct and passionate approach will change the way you think about building relationships.Julie Brown knows how to make networking work, especially for women navigating male dominated industries. She’s a business strategist, networking expert, and the no-BS author of This Sh!t Works: A No-Nonsense Guide to Networking Your Way to More Friends, More Adventures, and More Success. Julie keeps it real, breaking down the barriers to building authentic connections without the awkward small talk. She’s also the host of the This Sh!t Works podcast, where she blends humor, straight talk, and expert insights to help you grow your network, and actually enjoy it.Episode Highlights:Why your most valuable career opportunities often come from the people you know least.How to create meaningful connections by talking about the things that make you, you.How to overcome rejection, embrace the long game, and show up with confidence in any room.Quotables:[00:09:36] - Julie"People always like to say life is short, life isn't short, life is long. Your career is long, you will not build this network overnight. Don't try, you'll burn yourself out and you'll be a pretty shitty networker."[00:21:42] - Tosca"One of the things I love about your book is that very early on you have all kinds of things that you can talk about. That's not about what you do, but about who you are and what you're interested in."[00:46:14] - Julie"You can intend to send a thank you card. You can intend to send flowers. You can intend to check in on somebody. Intending will get you nowhere. Action will get you everything. And the way to do action is to do it together."Julie Brown's Links:This Sh!t Works PodcastJulie's WebsiteFacebookLinkedInInstagramTosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter:https://toscadimatteo.com/optin/Tosca’s WebsiteGet in Touch with ToscaLinkedInInstagramGiving Flowers To:Theme music by:Adrian DiMatteoPodcast edited by:Landis Podcast Editing

In this final part of the series on relationships, I dig into the hardest questions, are we willing to do the hard things for the relationships that truly matter? Whether it's a difficult boss or a loved one, relationships require effort, accountability, and openness. I share personal stories about standing up for myself, learning how to apologize, and navigating the gray areas of connection that often lead to the deepest bonds. This work isn’t easy, but it’s the key to building the kind of relationships that bring meaning and magic to our lives.Episode Highlights:The hard things in relationships. Are you showing up and putting in the work, even when it’s uncomfortable?The power of speaking up. How addressing the way someone labelled me changed supported my needs.The importance of acceptance and repair. Why staying open, learning how to apologize, and embracing differences leads to stronger, more fulfilling connections.Quotables:[00:08:11]"I want you to see what's possible in relationships that feel difficult. Because oftentimes, it's those relationships where we've been through tough times where we've had to repair, we've had to rebuild respect and trust."[00:13:01]"Sometimes we learn the hard way who's really meant for us and who's not, but we aren't going to figure that out if we don't share ourselves fully with another person."[00:17:30]"We can easily dismiss someone within seven seconds of meeting them because we just didn't get a good vibe."Tosca’s Links and Resources:Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter:https://toscadimatteo.com/optin/Tosca’s WebsiteGet in Touch with ToscaLinkedInInstagramGiving Flowers To:Theme music by:Adrian DiMatteoPodcast edited by:Landis Podcast Editing

Building meaningful relationships isn’t just about who’s in your life, it’s about how you show up in them. In this episode (part 2 of 3), I dig into the difference between being relational versus transactional, the importance of self-awareness, and the power of generosity in connection. I’m fired up about this topic because relationships, whether personal or professional, require intention, time, and investment and is the true foundation of our feeling connected and fulfilled. We live in a world that pushes productivity over people, but what happens when we slow down and actually prioritize the people in our lives? What shifts when we assess who’s lifting us up and who’s draining us? If you’re ready to build stronger, more fulfilling relationships, this episode is for you. Episode Highlights: The difference between being relational versus transactional in relationships and why true connection requires time and generosity. How small shifts in mindset and action can lead to deeper, more meaningful relationships in both your personal and professional life. What do you value and what superpowers do you want to bring to the world? Quotables; [00:03:22] "Knowing what your patterns are is so helpful because you can start to either take advantage of what your strengths are or work on what isn't working." [00:07:50] "My biggest counsel in all of this honestly is to slow freaking down in your life and take the time, build meaningful relationships, because gosh, we're human and how we feel fulfilled is about feeling connected to other people." [00:15:17] "Doors will open when you are helping open doors for other people. Open doors to your heart and open doors to opportunities." Tosca’s Links and Resources: Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: https://toscadimatteo.com/optin/ Tosca’s Website Get in Touch with Tosca LinkedIn Instagram Giving Flowers To: Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteo Podcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing