Your Therapist is Not Okay

What does it actually mean to be a good ally?Ryan and Jessie unpack the ways people can better support the most marginalized members of the LGBTQIA2S+ community, especially at a time when anti-trans rhetoric has become increasingly common. They explore how scapegoating takes hold, the caveats and "exceptions" people often use to justify prejudice, and the very real impact those attitudes have on the people they're directed toward. The conversation is also a reminder that allyship isn't just about what we believe - it's about how we show up. Whether that's speaking up when it's uncomfortable, challenging harmful narratives, or refusing to leave the most vulnerable members of a community behind, small actions matter more than we often realize.Click here for our Centred Self Pride page: ⁠⁠https://centredself.ca/lgbtq-%26-sex-%2F-gender⁠⁠Click here to book a FREE consult with us: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://centredself.ca/contact⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jessie Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Pride is often associated with celebration, joy, and visibility — but it has always been rooted in resistance, too. In this episode, Ryan and Jessie talk about Queer Rage Month and the emotions that many members of the LGBTQIA2S+ community are carrying in today's political climate.The conversation touches on the growing attacks on trans rights, and the ways some members of the queer community continue to be excluded, even within spaces that are meant to be inclusive. They also discuss the shift in corporate support for Pride, and what it means when companies that once loudly celebrated the community become noticeably quieter when that support carries more risk.Tune in for a conversation about queer rage, collective responsibility, and the importance of fighting for one another — even when the fight isn't your own 🏳️‍🌈Click here for our Centred Self Pride page: https://centredself.ca/lgbtq-%26-sex-%2F-genderClick here to book a FREE consult with us: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://centredself.ca/contact⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jessie Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In part two of last week's conversation, Jessie and Ryan shift their focus to the therapy room and what it means to truly make space for Black and immigrant experiences.Using Podcast Producer, Denise's story as a starting point, they explore some of the ways therapists can unintentionally miss the mark, the importance of cultural humility, why curiosity is often more valuable than assumptions and what therapists can learn from their African and immigrant clients.At its heart, this episode is a conversation about listening well. Not listening to respond, explain, or fit someone into a framework — but listening with genuine curiosity about who they are and where they come from 🎙️💕Click here to book a FREE consult with us: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://centredself.ca/contact⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jessie Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

This week, Jess and Ryan are yet again joined by a very special guest: the person who usually sits behind the scenes bringing the podcast to life.Denise shares her experience of moving from Nigeria to Canada as an international student and what it's been like building a life here over the last decade. This conversation explores the different sides of starting over in a new country — the painful parts, the awkward parts and the more heartwarming and humorous parts.Tune in for a nuanced conversation about leaving home, finding your footing and the experiences that can be difficult to put into words until years later 🎙️💕Click here to book a FREE consult with us: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://centredself.ca/contact⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jessie Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Healing and growing aren't always clean or exciting processes sometimes they come with a quiet sense of loss that’s hard to name. In this episode, Jessie and Ryan talk about what it’s like to outgrow relationships and the grief that can come with that shift, even when nothing “bad” has happened.They explore what it looks like and how to work through the process of noticing distance — or the need for it — where there used to be closeness. They also talk about how complicated it can feel to accept that some relationships don’t stay the same as we do. Instead of rushing to move on or pretending it doesn’t hurt, they talk about what it actually means to sit with that grief and make sense of it.Tune in for a conversation about change, connection, and learning how to let go of relationships with care, even when they’ve meant a lot 💕🎙️Click here to book a FREE consult with us: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://centredself.ca/contact⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jessie Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Unfortunately, growth isn't always something that happens alongside the people we love. Sometimes, as we learn more about ourselves, set new boundaries, or begin healing old wounds, our relationships start to feel different too.In this episode, Jess and Ryan explore what it can be like when you're doing the work in therapy but the people around you aren't on the same path. They talk about the loneliness, frustration, guilt, and grief that can come with outgrowing old dynamics, as well as the difficult questions that arise when relationships no longer fit the way they once did.Whether it's a romantic partner, a friend, or a family member, this conversation looks at what happens when personal growth creates distance — and how people navigate the tension between honoring their own healing and maintaining important relationships 💕🎙️Click here to book a FREE consult with us: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://centredself.ca/contact⁠⁠⁠⁠Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this follow-up episode, Jess and Ryan dive into a question a lot of people have but don't always know how to ask: how do you actually have better sex?They talk about the role of communication, consent, curiosity, and emotional safety in creating a more satisfying sex life. From exploring fantasies and kink to discussing desires, boundaries, and aftercare, they unpack some of the conversations that can bring partners closer together both in and out of the bedroom. Tune in for a candid exploration on what how to build a sex life that feels authentic, connected, and enjoyable for everyone involved ✨Click here to book a FREE consult with us: ⁠⁠⁠https://centredself.ca/contact⁠⁠⁠Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Sex can be a surprisingly difficult thing to talk about in relationships, even when you’re close to your partner. In this episode, Jess and Ryan talk about the reality of sex over the course of a relationship — the highs, the lows, the awkward conversations, the mismatched needs, and the pressure people often feel around intimacy.They get into how hard it can be to bring up things like dissatisfaction, insecurity, changing desires, or unmet needs without fearing rejection, conflict, or hurting the other person. They also talk about the gap between what people think sex “should” look like and what it often actually looks like in real relationships.Tune in for a conversation about sex, intimacy and communication in long-term relationships 🎙️✨Click here to book a FREE consult with us: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://centredself.ca/contact⁠⁠⁠⁠Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this episode, Jess and Ryan shift into the “how do we actually work with this” side of conflict. They get into the patterns couples fall into and what therapists often focus on in couples therapy room when things get tense — especially when conversations start to spiral or shut down.They explore a few ways of approaching conflict that can make it feel less overwhelming in the moment, like slowing things down, reframing what’s actually being said underneath the words, and learning how to listen without immediately reacting or defending. It’s not about getting it “perfect,” but about creating a bit more space so both people can actually hear each other.Tune in for a conversation about what it really takes to fight well 🎙️✨Click here to book a FREE consult with us: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://centredself.ca/contact⁠⁠⁠⁠Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

From the early honeymoon period where everything feels easy and connected, to the shift into patterns like bickering, shutting down, or giving each other the silent treatment, this episode is about exploring the full cycle of conflict that often shows up in couples work or that clients talk about in the therapy room.Jess and Ryan talk about why that transition happens, and how quickly relationships can move from closeness into disconnection when needs aren’t being expressed or understood. Rather than focusing on “right” or “wrong” ways of relating, they look at what these patterns are often protecting underneath—things like fear of rejection, unmet needs, or feeling unseen.Tune in for a conversation on conflict in the therapy room 🎙️✨Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

It’s not uncommon to leave a session and think about your therapist as a person. To wonder about their life, or how they’re doing, or what things are like for them outside that hour.In this episode, Jess and Ryan talk about what it means when that curiosity turns into care — and even into a desire to give something back. They explore why that can feel meaningful, and also why it can get complicated because even when the connection feels real, therapy still has boundaries. And those boundaries are essential to the therapeutic process.Tune in for a conversation about connection, boundaries, AI and everything in between 🎙️✨Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Let's talk about loneliness. In this episode, Jess and Ryan talk about the loneliness epidemic and how they’re seeing it show up in their clients’ lives from feeling disconnected even in relationships to struggling to find a sense of belonging, or even just feeling a bit on the outside of everything.They also get into what people actually do with that loneliness. The ways clients try to find connection outside of therapy — through friendships, dating apps, AI chatbots, online spaces, or putting themselves out there in new ways. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn’t, and sometimes it’s just complicated.Tune in for an honest conversation about how loneliness comes up in the therapy room 💕🎙️Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In the last episode, Jess and Ryan talked about what it’s like for clients who feel like the villain in their own story — the guilt, shame, and self-blame that can make it really hard to open up in therapy. In this episode, they shift the focus to the therapist’s side of the room. What is it like for therapists when clients are afraid to share something because they worry it might change how they’re seen?Jess and Ryan explore the moments when people feel like there’s something fundamentally “bad” about them — whether that feeling comes from identity, past choices, relationship struggles, or long-held shame. They also touch on Fairbairn’s idea of the bad object wound, and why these fears of being seen as bad or unlovable can run so deep.Tune in for a conversation on what it means for therapists to sit with clients in those difficult, vulnerable spaces — the parts of a person’s story they might feel most afraid to reveal 🎙️💕Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

There are moments in therapy where clients arrive carrying a deep sense of being “the villain” in their story. In this episode, Jess and Ryan explore what that can look like across different experiences — whether it’s tied to identity, like internalized homophobia in queer clients, concerns around appearance or gender expression, or life events such as divorce or relationship betrayal.They discuss how guilt and shame can shape the way people see themselves, often turning complex situations into a simple story of “I am the problem.” Tune in for a nuanced reflection on how these narratives show up in the therapy room and in real life 🎙️💕Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this episode, Jess and Ryan talk about something most people never see: what it’s like for therapists when they realize they might need to cancel a session or take time off. It’s usually not a quick or easy decision. There’s often a lot of back and forth — wondering if they should push through, worrying about how it might affect clients, and sitting with the guilt that can come with stepping away.They also talk about compassion fatigue and the subtle ways therapists start to notice when they’re running on empty. Sometimes those moments are what signal that it’s time to pause and take care of themselves, even when it feels uncomfortable. Tune in for a vulnerable conversation on what it means to try to show up for clients while also being human 💕🎙️Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

After an unexpected three-month hiatus, Jess and Ryan are back! In this episode, they talk about something that doesn’t get discussed very often: what it’s like for clients when their therapist has to take time off. Whether the reason is big or small, shared openly or left unsaid, a therapist’s absence can bring up a lot of feelings.Jess and Ryan explore the kinds of reactions clients may have — confusion, frustration, worry, even feelings of abandonment — and how these responses often connect to transference and earlier relationship experiences. Tune in for a meaningful conversation on how these moments can become meaningful opportunities for repair when they’re worked through together 💕🎙️Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

After an unexpected three-month hiatus, we’re finally back!In this episode, we share where we’ve been, Jess opens up with some personal news, and we talk about when regular episodes will return. Thank you for your patience while we were away — we’re SO excited to be back 💕Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Jess and Ryan sit down to share the advice they wish someone had given them when they first stepped into psychotherapy training. They talk about how becoming a therapist quietly reshapes your personal relationships, the moments of identity shift no one warns you about, and how to actually get the most out of expensive, exhausting training programs. They also get real about burnout - how to spot it early, how to protect your energy, and what they wish they’d done differently in their first few years. This episode is part pep talk, part reality check, and fully the kind of conversation new therapists deserve to hear ✨Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Jess and Ryan pick up where they left off, this time getting into what it actually looks like to decolonize therapy in practice. They talk through different cultural models of healing — the ones that center community, storytelling, or collective care — and how those approaches sometimes blend beautifully with Western therapy…and sometimes clash with it. They also get honest about their own preferences as therapists: where their training shows up, where their biases sneak in, and how the rules that govern their profession are shaped by Western assumptions that aren’t always harmful, but definitely aren’t universal. Tune in for a grounded, curious look at what it means to do this work with more humility, more flexibility, and a much wider understanding of what healing can be 🎙️Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Book Mentioned:- ⁠Decolonizing Therapy by Dr Jennifer Mullan⁠

In this long-awaited episode, Jess and Ryan dive into how they’ve come to understand the colonial roots of modern therapy — not through theory alone, but through the uncomfortable realizations that show up once you start noticing who gets to define what healing actually means. They talk about the parts of their own training that now feel narrow or incomplete, the unlearning they’ve had to do over the years, and how colonial ideas still quietly shape the way therapy is practiced today. They also zoom out to reflect on the broader history of colonialism, including the territories that are still colonized, and what it means to offer care in a world that hasn’t fully reckoned with any of it. Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Books Mentioned:- Decolonizing Therapy by Dr Jennifer Mullan- You Are The Medicine by Asha Frost

What happens when someone finds out they’re talking to a therapist at a party? Jess and Ryan have been there — and it’s never boring 😂 In this episode, they share their funniest, most awkward, and most eye-opening stories of what happens when people discover what they do for a living outside the therapy room. From being cornered for “just a quick question” to watching the energy in the room instantly shift, they talk about how they navigate those moments, protect their own boundaries, and still manage to enjoy being off the clock.Tune in for a humorous take on what you should NOT say to a therapist you encounter 'in the wild'Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay⁠⁠⁠⁠

Self-harm is one of those topics that can feel scary to talk about — for clients and therapists. Today's conversation is a tender one. We’re exploring self-harm from a therapist’s perspective and why it’s rarely about “attention” — and always about pain that needs understanding. Jess and Ryan talk about what self-harm really is (and isn’t), why people use it to cope, common misunderstandings, and how therapists think about safety without jumping straight to panic or punishment. Tune in for an honest, gentle, and stigma-free look at a topic that deserves compassion — not fear 💕Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay⁠⁠⁠

Let’s be real — therapy can be expensive, and it can feel frustrating when the bill keeps adding up. In this episode, Jess and Ryan get honest about why therapy costs what it does and what clients don’t always see behind the scenes. They talk about the unglamorous parts of the job — endless admin, training, fees — and the emotional side of it too: the guilt and sadness that come when clients can’t afford to keep going. Tune in for a real, open conversation about money and mental health ❤️Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay⁠⁠

Ever wondered what exactly psychedelic therapy is all about? In this episode, we sit down with a special guest, Monica Lau - an expert therapist in psychedelic healing - to explore the full journey of this fascinating and controversial approach. We discuss how psychedelic therapy sessions typically work, the kinds of insights and transformations people experience, and the potential downsides you should know about. We also dive into who tends to benefit most from this type of therapy, and what it’s like for a trained therapist to guide someone through such a powerful process. Tune in for a mix of expert knowledge and honest reflections on what it really means to expand your mind in the name of healing ✨Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay⁠

Ever wondered what it's like for your therapist to see their own therapist? 👀Spoiler alert: it's just as messy for them as it is for you. In this episode, Jess and Ryan laugh (and cringe) their way through the ironic truth that knowing all the tools doesn’t always mean they use them. They also open up about their own experiences in the client chair - the awkward, the disappointing, and the deeply healing. From bad fits and missed attunement to the therapists who really got it right, we talk about what it’s actually like to look for a therapist when you are one.Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @yourtherapistisnotokay

Jess and Ryan are going there.In this episode, they open up about how the topic of sex shows up in the therapy room in all it's complicated and uncomplicated ways. They talk about what clients are really asking, how therapists navigate those conversations, and why talking about sex doesn’t have to be uncomfortable. Tune in for a warm, open discussion that makes the awkward and confusing parts of sex feel a little more human.Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay⁠

The wait is FINALLY over! Season 3 is here! Jess and Ryan kick things off by diving headfirst into the messy, funny, and sometimes cringeworthy world of dating. From dating app disasters to awkward first dates, they share their own experiences and how being therapists has shifted the way they navigate love. Plus, they drop insider tips on what to watch out for when dating - straight from the therapy room. You're welcome 😉 Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay⁠

This Pride Month hits different. Between rising political tensions, safety concerns, and the growing weight of being “out” in public, the usual rainbow-filled celebration feels… complicated.In this special bonus episode, Jess and Ryan reflect on the precarity of Pride in 2025 - from the therapy room to the broader cultural moment. We revisit themes like rainbow-washing, being the “quiet gay,” intersectionality, and the emotional toll of it all.It’s real, it’s messy, and it’s probably what your therapist has been thinking too ❤️Check out our previous years' Pride content here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZMbr2AgUIln_rho8JUhCXgYzxn6z6dR7https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZMbr2AgUIlmq43dduwvqB7ZtIBZdAVEXHosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay

This week, we’re wrapping things up with Part 2 of our season finale - and yes, Denise is once again putting us in the hot seat! As our producer (and resident professional question-asker), she asks the most thought-provoking questions about themes from Episodes 10 to 18.We’re getting into the deep stuff - like whether narcissists can actually develop empathy through therapy, how therapists help clients who are scared of being involuntarily committed feel safe enough to open up, and what it really looks like to hold someone accountable in therapy without pushing them away.Tune in for all the tea on this season! 👀✨Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @yourtherapistisnotokay

This week, we’re switching things up! Denise, our producer (and professional question-asker), steps out from behind the scenes for our special season finale episode to grill Jess and Ryan on everything you’ve been wondering about from Episodes 1 to 8 of this season.We’re diving into how clients have challenged Jess and Ryan's imposter syndrome in-session, what people tend to lie most about in therapy and the overall vibe in their therapy rooms lately - especially with all the political tension and collective burnout in the air.Plus, some behind-the-scenes takes, surprising themes that came up this season, and honest reflections from your favorite therapist duo.If you’ve ever listened and thought, “I wish someone would just ask them ___,” this one’s for you.Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay⁠

In this heartfelt episode, Jess and Ryan get real about the reason behind for our recent break from the podcast - burnout. They open up about what burnout looks like in their lives as therapists, especially as they run a private practice.They also dive into how they navigate the tricky conversations that come up when clients worry they’re the reason for their therapist’s exhaustion, and how they take care of themselves to avoid burnout. Tune in for a raw, reflective, and deeply honest conversation about sustainability, boundaries, and being human - on both sides of the therapy room ✨Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay⁠

In this episode, Jess and Ryan dive deep into the world of personality disorders - what they are, how they’re diagnosed, and how therapy can (or can’t) help. We unpack the key traits of narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder, etc., breaking down the DSM-5 criteria and common misconceptions. We also explore how therapists approach working with clients who have these diagnoses, what progress can look like, and whether lasting change is truly possible. Tune in for our informed and compassionate take on this very complex topic ✨Click here for more details on our Psychodynamic Workshop for therapists:⁠https://centredself.ca/psychodynamic-workshop⁠Click here to sign up for our any of our workshops: ⁠https://centredself.ca/contact⁠Or email us:⁠ [email protected]⁠Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay

In this episode, Jess and Ryan sit down for an honest, heartfelt conversation about internalized homophobia - what it is, where it comes from, and why it can be so tough to untangle. They break down the root causes, share the many ways it can show up in people's lives, and talk about what it looks like to support clients who are working through it in therapy.Whether you’re personally navigating internalized homophobia, supporting someone who is, or just wanting to better understand this experience, Jess and Ryan offer insights, real talk, and a lot of compassion along the way. You’re not alone; healing is possible 🫶Click here to watch our Pride Month series: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZMbr2AgUIlmq43dduwvqB7ZtIBZdAVEXhttps://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZMbr2AgUIln_rho8JUhCXgYzxn6z6dR7Click here for more details on our Psychodynamic Workshop: ⁠https://centredself.ca/psychodynamic-workshop⁠Click here to sign up for our Psychodynamic Workshop: ⁠https://centredself.ca/contact⁠⁠Or email us: [email protected] by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay

Have you seen the morning routine trend videos that are everywhere? 😂 Well, this week we’re talking about the concept of self-actualization.The constant striving to be better, do better and reach what #DrRickenHale says is #TheYouYouAre, but what do therapists really think about it?In this episode, Jess and Ryan dive into the self-help book hype, wellness trends, the origin of the concept of self-actualization and what it actually entails.Tune in for our light-hearted take on this broad, often misunderstood concept ✨Click here for more details on our Psychodynamic Workshop: https://centredself.ca/psychodynamic-workshopClick here to sign up for our Psychodynamic Workshop: https://centredself.ca/[email protected] by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay

After a flood of comments on one of our social posts about lying in therapy, Jess and Ryan dive into a topic that clearly hit a nerve: the fear of being involuntarily committed. In this episode, we unpack why so many people hold back or lie in therapy out of fear of being hospitalized against their will. We read some of the heartbreaking comments we received and talk about how to bring up difficult topics with your therapist - especially when you’re unsure how they’ll react. We explore where these fears come from, what the actual criteria for involuntary commitment are, and how to build safety and trust in the therapeutic relationship.Tune in for this extremely important conversation 🎙️Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay

In this episode, Jess and Ryan get into the theory behind why this is such a popular therapy trope and the pressures that come with wanting to have kids while worrying about passing on trauma to the next generation. Plus, they dive into the guilt and pressure clients sometimes feel to portray their parents as perfect, even when that might not be the reality. Tune in as we explore the messy dynamics between therapy, family, and the emotional challenges we face when trying to break generational patterns ✨Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay

From viral self-help hacks to controversial "miracle cures," there's no shortage of promises for quick mental health fixes. But do therapists actually believe that they work? 🤔This week, we're joined by EMDR expert Gina Lihou, RP, to explore the reality behind some of these solutions. She lets us in on the truth about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) - two evidence-based approaches that seemingly work for many. We are also briefly joined by Monica Lau, RP, as she discusses the use of psychedelics in therapy and the reality of what she deals with in her office everyday.Tune in as we separate fact from fiction and discuss what a holistic approach to healing looks like in therapy ✨To learn more about EMDR from Gina, click here: https://youtu.be/swXmrIRSsVIhttps://youtu.be/FGsvxT87Q2wTo learn more about other modalities, click here:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qt6ovu7v4Lc&t=5s&ab_channel=CentredSelfPsychotherapyClick here to book a free EMDR consult with Gina: ⁠⁠https://centredself.ca/contact⁠⁠Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay

Why do men often avoid therapy? 🤔In this episode, Jess and Ryan dig deep into the reasons behind men’s struggles with seeking help both in and out of the therapy room. They also discuss ways to make therapy more accessible, relatable, and welcoming for men, breaking down the stigma and encouraging emotional growth for everyone ✨Click here to book a FREE consult with us: ⁠https://centredself.ca/contact⁠Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay

Is it possible to overshare in therapy? 🤔In this episode, Jess and Ryan dive into the so-called‘taboo’ topics of the therapy room, why therapists rarely see anything as off-limits, and why it’s just as important to share as it is to give yourself grace when you’re not ready.Tune in for an open and honest conversation about vulnerability, TMI, and self-compassion ✨Click here for our videos on Body Dysmorphia During Pride:https://youtu.be/jAy5MCXfXyI?si=tdsZibBPqDxbq01rhttps://youtu.be/mVTG2vLAyvs?si=cUQXvT7nOcd7sIoeHosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay

In this special rapid-fire Q&A episode, we’re tackling the questions you sent in on Instagram. We tackled questions like: do therapists ever get tired of hearing about other people’s problems? How do therapists handle avoidant attachment clients? Who’s our dream podcast guest? And more!Tune in for honest answers, unexpected insights, and maybe even a little bit of therapist tea! 🍵Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay

Social media has brought therapy into the mainstream, making conversations about mental health way more accessible than ever before. But has it also made us too quick to diagnose ourselves and others? In this episode, Jess and Ryan explore how platforms like TikTok and Instagram shape our understanding of mental health — from the popularization of attachment theory to the rise of self-diagnosis. Tune in to find out how to balance the good side of #therapytok with the not-so-good ✨Click here for Jess' blog posts on Borderline Personality Disorder:https://centredself.ca/articles/f/borderline-personality-disorder-bpd-what-is-it-reallyhttps://centredself.ca/articles/f/bpd-is-shamed-but-shouldnt-be-3-amazing-qualities-of-bpdHosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay

In our seventh episode of the season, Jess & Ryan explore what clients and therapists consider ‘time-wasting’ in therapy, where these beliefs come from, and how the desire to maintain the relationship can lead to ‘performing’ therapy. They break down the hidden pressures both parties may feel, how it impacts the therapeutic alliance, and why no session is ever truly wasted. Tune in for an honest and eye-opening conversation! ✨Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay

We’ve all been there — holding back the full truth in therapy, whether out of fear, shame, or just wanting to avoid discomfort. But what happens when small omissions turn into bigger lies and you somehow just can't stop?In this episode, Jess and Ryan explore why clients lie in therapy, how it impacts the therapeutic process, and what therapists really think when they suspect dishonesty. Tune in as they unpack the complexities of trust, self-protection, and the path to genuine healing ✨Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her)Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her)Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her)Follow us on Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay

In this episode, Jess and Ryan explore how therapists use humor and playfulness to build trust, strengthen relationships, and create moments of relief for their clients. They discuss how play can be a powerful tool in therapy, helping to establish safety, encourage self-expression, and unlock deeper healing. They also discuss the boundaries of laughter in therapy — when it’s appropriate, when it’s not, and why some therapists choose to hold back. Tune in for an insightful conversation on the lighter side of healing ✨ Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her) Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her) Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her) Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay

In this episode, Jess and Ryan explore the ways major political events like the #MeToo movement, the Scotland referendum, and the recent US elections have influenced the therapy room. They discuss how these moments impacted the number of people seeking therapy, the overall mood and sentiments shared in their sessions, and even their own personal responses to these events. Plus, they offer thoughtful self-care tips on how to stay informed about the world around us while still prioritizing mental and emotional well-being ✨ Click here to watch our Pride Month 2022 series: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZMbr2AgUIlmq43dduwvqB7ZtIBZdAVEX&si=mhpGnhNg-gCpJmAU Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her) Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her) Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her) Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay

Ever wondered what your therapist is jotting down during your sessions? In this episode, Jess and Ryan dive into the world of therapy notes. They explore whether therapists write down potential diagnoses, the strict rules about who can access these notes, and what’s actually included in them. Plus, they discuss whether or not therapists can share their notes with clients. Tune in to get an inside look at the documentation that keeps therapy running smoothly! Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her) Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her) Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her) Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay

Did you know that even the most qualified professionals aren't immune to self-doubt? In this episode, Jess and Ryan explore the complex and often hidden world of imposter syndrome in the mental health field. How do therapists — the very people trained to help others overcome self-doubt — manage their own feelings of inadequacy? Whether you're a therapist, a client, or simply someone who struggles with feeling "not enough," this episode offers valuable perspectives and tools for navigating imposter syndrome ✨ Click here to find out more about our workshops: https://centredself.ca/contact Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her) Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her) Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her) Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay

Aaaand WE'RE BACK! We're kicking off Season 2 by tackling one of the most common (and daunting) questions: How do I find a good therapist? In this episode, Jess and Ryan explore what “good” means when it comes to therapy, how to navigate directories, and how to identify the right fit for your unique needs. Whether you’re starting therapy for the first time or looking for a better match, this episode is your guide to finding the support you desire AND deserve ✨ Click here to book a FREE consult with us: https://centredself.ca/contact A brief summary of different modalities: https://youtu.be/Qt6ovu7v4Lc?feature=shared Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her) Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her) Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her) Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay

In this VERY special season finale of Your Therapist is Not Okay, we take a step back and reflect on the last 6 episodes of the season. We are joined by our producer, Denise, as she asks all the questions you’ve been wondering about, diving into key insights and reactions to the themes we've explored so far. Join us as we revisit key moments, share behind-the-scenes thoughts, and answer some of your most pressing listener questions. It’s a conversation full of reflection, surprises, and the honest answers you’ve come to expect. Tune in to get the full scoop from a client’s perspective! Head to our YouTube for this video episode: https://www.youtube.com/@centredselfpsychotherapy/videos Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her) Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her) Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her) Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay

In this VERY special season finale of Your Therapist is Not Okay, we take a step back and reflect on the first five episodes of the season. We are joined by our producer, Denise, as she asks all the questions you’ve been wondering about, diving into key insights and reactions to the themes we've explored so far. Join us as we revisit key moments, share behind-the-scenes thoughts, and answer some of your most pressing listener questions. It’s a conversation full of reflection, surprises, and the honest answers you’ve come to expect. Tune in to get the full scoop from a client’s perspective! Head to our YouTube for this video episode: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@centredselfpsychotherapy/videos⁠ Hosted by: Dr Ryan Bittinger (they/them) and Dr Jess Erb (she/her) Cover art by: Una Grace Norona (she/her) Produced and edited by: Denise Danda (she/her) Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@yourtherapistisnotokay