The Power in Our Pain

Intuition got a bad reputation for decades, written off as the mystical magical nonsense in comparison to the logical thinking that has been so revered. Thankfully we are learning that logic is not always the best method for lving a life of purpose and passion.Reconnecting to your intuition could be jus the thing you are missing. If you are tired of learning the hard, second guessing your self and finding yourself living a life that you don't really want, this podcast can help guide you gently back to your intuition. No need for radical shifts, just gentle recalibration back to your original knowing. If you want to work with me 1:1 or are interested in any courses visit my website at:www.heidiengel.net

Our world is full of rushing, doing and planning the next thing. We have lost our rituals of silence and rest. Spending 7 days in silence is a favorite experience in my life. Silence can bring us home to the truth of our reality with clarity and swiftness that can surprise. Being in silence can feel scary and intimidating but I assure you, silence is a much more natural state than we might remember. I hope you find some encouragement to add a little silence into your own life and maybe even encourage others to do the same. 

Why do we fear change even it we know it's helpful and healthy choice? What happens when we are afraid of both the life we live and the life we want to live. Where do you go? How do you move forward? How can you stop sabotaging yourself?This episode digs into the specifics around change, resistance to positive change, self-sabotage, vulnerability and vigilance. If you are needing extra support feel free to leave a comment below or reach out. You can find me at:www.heidiengel.net

Shame is not just another emotion. Shame is  different and needs a whole new set of strategies for working thorugh and ridding your self of shame. This episode will help you see the light from under the dark cloak of shame. You don't have to feel shame alone in your torture of suffering. Time to get serious about the battle to eliminate shame from not only your system but help others to rid themselves of this unnecessary anguish. Need help with your emotions? Try my Reducing Reactivity course at :www.heidiengel.net

Overwhelm is hard to avoid. Especially these days with the push for success and external achievement combined with uncertainty and an increase of fear, grief and anger.It can be helpful to understand the sings of overwhelm.Do your freeze, numb, get confused, have outbursts? Do you withdraw or do you dig in and work harder to overcome the feelings?Overwhelm is an intelligent expereince from our system telling important information. This podcast walks you through the stages of working with and through overwhelm to se yourself up for a more resourced and motivated version of you. As always, if you need extra support, reach out at :www.heidiengel.net

Anger is rising and growing in our systems, in the collective and in our world. It is important to know how to relate to anger and work with it instead of against it or letting it run or ruin your life and relationships.Whether you express anger openly or never, this podcast will help you gain perspective through relating to your anger from a different point of view.Included are helpful tips and tricks to reduce your reactivity and work with anger in real time. If you need extra support around anger and reactivity. check out my course Reduce Your Reactivity found on my website : www.heidiengel.net

Starting over can be really scary and heavy with emotions, self-loathing, grief, anger, shame, blame, anxiety and of course fear and even terror.I'm here to help you navigate this unknown and five you permission to take it slow. There is magic in allowing yourself to simmer in the goo phase before you become the butterfly of your next phase.Whether it's starting a new company, relationship, career or completely starting over, there are jewels and lessons from your past that are calling for attention before you become the leader of your own destiny once again. Take this as your permission slip to rediscover and redefine yourself. If you want or need support along this path, reach out. You are not alone. I'm here to help, encourage and support your journey. Find me at my website:www.heidiengel.net

We all carry grief so why do we have such a hard time talking and feeling through this most basic of emotions? I get a bit fiery in this one so be warned there may be some real talk around feeling into our grief and becoming more mature in allowing others to experience their own grief.Grief is in our bodies, our collective, ancestral, inherited and experienced trauma. Grief is a fact of life. It's time we started feeling and healing our grief together. If you need help or support around your grief process you can find me at:www.heidiengel.net

You left the relationship, or the relationship left you, but you can't stop feeling resentful, frustrated, angry, fearful, sad and jsut not yourself around your ex. Whether you are divorced and co-parenting, sharing a town or community or simply can't stay out of each others lives, there is no reason why you can't get yourself to feel, at the very least less awful around this person. Just because the relationship ended doesn't mean the triggers stopped. Time to learn to take responsibility for your role in how you feel.

Needing to be needed can be a difficult pattern from which to remove yourself. This pattern is a self creating cycle of co-dependency with underlying patterns of neediness, superiority and caretaking. Caretakers tend to collect those that need caretaking making it even harder to remove yourself from the cycle. this podcast will give you some insight into what is happening within this pattern and the importance of removing yourself for the health of the whole system.

Healing journey can seem like such a scary endeavor. People talk about all sorts of crazy things like, psychedelic journeys, tantric retreats, darkness mediation experiences and then there are the infinite forms of therpay and movement. It is difficult to not feel intimidated.I am here to give you some relief and encouragement that you can walk your healing journey at whatever pace and with whichever tools are the most helpful for you. 

Fear can be a constant struggle, keeping us from healing, living and loving at our full potential. Fear keeps us small, stops us from change and creates patterns taht perpetuate more fear. We actually can not heal if you are ruled by or unaware of our fear. Fear can settle into our unconscious and rule our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual lives. Creating a healthy relationship with your fear is an essential step on your healing journey. This podcast can help you shift your approach to and perspective on fear. Fear is nothing to fear right...?!? Time to take back your life and shine your bright light out from under the thumb of ever present fear. If you are looking for support throughout this process you can fine me atwww.heidiengel.net

Relationships come and go. Marriage, partnership, clients, careers and family. Our resistance to the truth of this can create, discomfort, resentment and pain. How do you know when to play in the learning or leave due to unhealthy and unsafe patterning? How do you leave a relationship before one or both of you are ready? How do you know it's time to leave?Learn from real life experiences how to let go with difficulty or let go with grace and maturity. You still get to have all your big feelings but you don't have to l burn the house down as you walk out.If you want to work with me or need meditations and courses around emotional maturity, you can find me at www.heidiengel.net

Staying sober throughout the holiday season is like the Mt Everest of challenges for you sobriety.  Don't worry! You do not have to go it alone. I've tips, tricks and lots of advice for surviving the holidays parties, family gatherings, questions, accusations and doubts. Thankfully staying sober is getting easier and easier but that doesn't mean that your friends and family will be on board for your sobriety. Staying grounded and centered in your self and your self-care choices is essential to surviving the holidays, regardless of your sober status.I am here to support your choices, your self-care and your boundaries! If you would like extra support and to find out how to work with me, you can find me on my website at www.heidiengel.net. 

Few things are more terrifying than the prospect of dating post divorce but dating while sober and divorced takes the cake for terror inducing experiences. For many, alcohol, was used as a place holder for awkward pauses, a confidence booster and a social connector in our twenties. If you find yourself, no longer in your twenties, sober and are considering dipping your toe into the dating pool, this episode is for you.To app or not to app, to drink or not to drink, to smoke or not to smoke - these are the questions we ask ourselves when we consider a future reality of loneliness. Don't worry, I've got you, covered and supported on how to make the most of this new journey while taking advantage of your experience and maturity.Come visit me on my website at www.heidiengel.net

Worthlessness can undermine everything in your life without you even knowing it's there. Worthlessness comes into our lives in, usually in childhood and becomes the driving force behind both over-achieving and failure to launch. It can make you wildly successful in one area of your life and unable to manage in other areas.In this episode, we start our this new season with dipping our toes in the complex pile of dung that is worthlessness. If you feeling in need of support or extra care. please check out my website for course offerings, meditations and to schedule a session if you feel so inclined. https://www.heidiengel.net/

What do you think of when you think of bravery? Do you think about facing your fears? Ignoring them? Burying them? What if I told you that bravery is actually becoming so friendly with your fears that you allow them to inform your choices. Bravery is not, in fact, acting without fear (which is impossible by the way) but acting with the deep understanding of your fears. We often end up living a life guided by fear, in attempt to avoid fear. The path of courage and bravery is one of deep inner communion. This path is one that requires the inclusion of your big thoughts and feelings about yourself. The path of the courageous is the path of the unknown, guided by your own heart back into yourself again and again. You don't have to go big and you don't have to change your whole life to walk this path. You can do this one step at a time with love and tender care. Listen here to find out more.

Narcism is a pandemic, let's just be honest. We live in a world in which a narcissist can become quite "successful" and they have. We are surrounded by narcissists and people with narcissistic tendencies. This word gets throw around often because there is an excessive amount of this behavior gone unchecked. The problem is not the word or the over use of the word but the behavior itself. In this podcast we walk through the different types of narcism, both narcissistic tendencies and NPD or Narcissistic Personality Disorder and it's three types, Grandiose/Overt, Vulnerable/Covert and Malignant. You will also learn the signs to look for when you suspect you may be in the presence of a narcissist, the four D's or narcissism and how to remove yourself from patterns pertaining to narcissistic co-dependency. We talk about narcissistic supply and the "favorites". You want to know about narcism, it's in here.If you believe that you are someone you love is a victim of narcissistic abuse, please seek professional help. The National Domestic Abuse Hotline is open 24/7.If you need support you can always contact me through my website www.heidiengel.net

Over the years, I dabbled in sobriety bur never fully committed. I was scared of all the change that would come with sobriety, the responsibility to be myself. Turns out, I was wrong, very wrong. Sobriety is the most liberating, empowering and self-loved filled journey. I have been the codependent to the alcoholic and the alcoholic with the codependent. The difference between this time and other times? My heart is in it. This is for me. I was terrified of the changes that would come with sobriety but the truth is, I already made the scary changes and sobriety is the cherry on top. I love being sober. I love feeling healthy. I love celebrating myself in healthy ways. I love surrounding myself with healthy people. I didn't set out to count the days but here I am and I am celebrating. Sobriety is a day to day moment to moment choice and it's SO important to celebrate the milestones. I also share the vulnerable truth about the difference between this and other attempts at sobriety, the fears and shame that come with the journey to getting sober and pain of living in an alcoholic marriage. Please reach out if you need any help and support with your sobriety. You don't have to go it alone and you don't have to do it any other way than the one that works for you.www.heidiengel.net

Join me for another amazing conversation with Jonathan Boncek. Why is money so hard to make, find, cultivate and grow? We all could use more money and most of us are working our butts off to get more moeny and yet we constatnly feel like we are in the red, never have enough and generally feel shame and worthless as a result. listen to this honest and vulnerable talk between two entrepreneurs who are trying to shift their scarcity mindset to one of abundance. These topics can be frustrating and difficult when we feel talked down to from those who seem so successful and have it all together. Jonathan and I try to approach this topic from real life experiences of difficulty paying bills, hard conversations with your partner and being a single mom carrying the stress of finances alone. We would love to hear from you about this or other topics! Reach out  at www.heidiengle.net or leave a comment below and let us know what you think.

Should I stay or should I go. Answering the questions of to divorce or not divorce, separate or not is nearly impossible. Only you know the truth of your marriage and it's intimate details. This is why it can be so hard to figure out - do I stay or do I go? You have to make your own choices but you don't have to walk this path alone. Many people have walked this path before you and there is a wealth of knowledge and support out here to help you along this heart wrenching journey to either divorce or attempt to rekindle the fire in your marriage. Don't be deceived. This path includes guilt, shame, terror, fear, anxiety along. It can be a deep dive into your darkest truths. It can also be the path to the light that you finally allow to shine through you. 

Teens are starting with a blank slate when it comes to right and wrong, good and bad, honest and dishonest. What if you could help your teen find their own inner compass? Your teen is going to question everything and challenge every rule. This is normal teenage behavior. They have to throw out every lesson we taught them and try them back on to see what fits. Let's stop fighting their natural, normal developmental process and while adding a few helpful characteristics. Integrity teaches teens to follow their own sense of right and wrong AND to take responsibility for the consequences. Gentle guidance and setting a real life example can help them see the benefits of learning to live life by their own compass of honesty and consistency. I'm not claiming it's easy but it is possible and it might just save you from many future battles with your teen.

We hear this all the time - negative and positive emotions, get rid of your negative emotions. I am here to dispel this myth and defend these poor emotions that are being blamed for immaturity and bad behavior. There are no negative emotions - only negative behavior. Your emotions are not the problem, its your lack of emotional intelligence and training that allows you to blame your emotion for your bad behavior. We ned our emotions, all of our emotions. We simply need to shift the way we think about, relate to and react to the messages that are coming from these so called negative emotions. It's time to grow up, show up and become responsible for the way in which we allow ourselves to behave. Have you upgraded your emotional behavior since you were a kid? Do you blame reactivity and emotions for your continued problems? Perhaps it's not the emotions but it's the lack of responsibility ( your ability to respond ~ thank you Thomas Hubl). Let's reframe our beliefs around negative and positive emotions and claim our emotional maturity together.

I am trying something new with these wonderful conversations with my good friend Jonathan Bonceck - artist, photographer, yoga teacher, men's coach and hypnotherapist. Jonathan is an amazing father and husband, thoughtful human and excellent example of divine masculine. Jonathan and I share our struggles and victories with parenting, mindfulness and attempting to live a conscious life as a parent, human and entrepreneur. Jonathan provides a helpful and practical voice of reason in a time when the world does nto feel very reasonable. If you like these episodes with Jonathan, please leave a comment below and let us know. 

Are you easily triggered, nervous, anxious, afraid to speak out and overly pleasing to others? These behavior could be a sign that you are operating in your sympathetic nervous system; aka fight, fight flight freeze and fawn / appease.Most of of us think of the parasympathetic and sympathetic response as an extreme reaction to a threat or perceived threat but this nervous system state can be going on under the surface in everyday regular activities. Living constantly in the 4F's could be the reason that you have difficulty connecting, creating, loving and living. This podcast is a quick introduction into what these look like in everyday life and how to reclaim your right to live in rest, digest and enjoy.

When is the last time you noticed if you feel safe? Do you have a sense of physical safety, emotional and mental safety?We live in a culture that is designed to continue a culture of unsafe behavior. It can be really hard as a woman, person of the global majority, a gender non-conforming person and person of the LGBTQIA+ community to find and feel safe in todays world. This lack of safety affects everything from your digestion to your sleep, your pleasure and passion to your creativity and health. in this podcast, I address this systemic and collective lack of safety while also providing tips and methods for reclaiming your own sense of safety. 

Big change brings big confusion but this can also be a time to lean into the truth of groundlessness. This first lesson in Buddhism teaches us how to find peace and love within ourselves. How do we overcome the feelings of loss, grief, fear, anger, overwhelm and confusion? It is normal to want life to be predictable and controlled. We like to find comfort in knowing. What do we do in times that throw all our knowing out the window? Can you lean into the discomfort of not-knowing? Come home to the truth of not-knowing and the love with yourself. 

Single parenting is tough and one of the most difficult things can be helping you kids through conflict with their other parent. It can be really hard to stay supportive and grounded and not get lost in your own feeling of validation, vindication, rage, fear, and grief.This could be a huge fail or a huge opportunity for connection and healing. In this episode I walk you through the importance of keeping this interaction about your kid, not you and how to do this. Remember that I am always here if you need extra support.

My guest today is Iris Bakllamaja. She grew up in both Albania and NYC, was educated in Paris and built a wildly successful career in the corporate world. A career built on logic and critical thinking. About five years ago, Iris had a radical spiritual awakening that totally shifted her life. She left her career, family, friends and relationship to embark on a world tour of self-discovery and spirituality.Her lessons in bravery and self awareness are beautifully communicated through her own words. She is a pillar of strength and honesty, thoughtful, careful and kind. Iris' ability to pivot and learn to listen to this new voice, a new calling is remarkable and inspiring.

The world is set up to distract, shame, blame and generally keep women disembodied and removed from our power. Don't be fooled. Your power did not go anywhere, you did not give it away and it's not lost. You have simply forgotten how to relate, check-in and feel it. You are a Divine Feminine Goddess, with enough power to destroy or create anything you want. This podcast will help you dig into and remember the innate power that has been waiting for you to come home.

Jonathan Boncek is an RTT Hypnotherapist, Photographer and Yoga instructor. He coaches high level men and woman through anxiety and addiction. Today he is sharing his own journey with addiction and recovery. He is open, honest and vulnerable about the truth and struggles that come with the day to day recovery from substance abuse and the choice to finally transition into a more sober and honest life path.If you are struggling with addiction or recovery, this podcast is for you. Jonathan offers practical advice for transitioning into recovery. He shares his own methods on how to get through the daily stress and social pressure of substance abuse, how to transition into self love and how to tackle shame.You can work with Jonathan by finding him on instagram at The Transition Source. 

Sexual abuse and incest occur in over 60% of households. More than half of us have experienced sexual abuse and we all know and love some one who is carrying the burden of this trauma. This episodes offers tips, support and honest experience in walking the path of healing from sexual trauma.If you or some one you know is struggling with their journey or is considering starting their journey to heal, this is for you. The journey to healing can be difficult and filled. Victims of incest and sexual abuse live with fear, anger, shame, blame, grief, confusion and so much more. We tend numb with drugs, alcohol, food, sex and Netflix. We are often disconnected not from the world around but from our own bodies, emotions and spirit. I share my own story of being molested when I was young and the difficulty I experienced in taking those first scary steps toward healing. I would not be here today, speaking on this podcast, without the amazing support and guidance of my friends, family, therapists, mother nature and of course the divine spirit that is shining in all of us. I hope this episode, if nothing else, helps you feel seen, heard and a little less alone. 

Robi has been traveling the world for the past 11 years, collecting smiles, speaking consulting and teaching about the importance of love, kindness and surrender. After huge loss, he was inspired to leave his home, family and business to travel the world on a mission to collect, witness and spread love and peace. He has since built a school that focuses on emotional education in his home town of Iquique Chile, spoken to thousands about the importance of spreading love and joy and continues to amass a global following. Listening to Robi speak is a privilege and joy. His story is one of loss, lessons and the love that comes with surrender.

It is so easy to use fear as excuse to stay small, comfortable and exactly the same as you were yesterday. What is fear wasn't the problem? What if fear was trying to get you to LIVE? Shift your thoughts around fear and you might be bale to live the life you always wanted. Learn how to harness the power of fear and use it to push you into the life of your dreams. 

It's time to explore and connect through pain. I share some of my most painful moments and the biggest lessons that came from staying in the pain. We so often choose to numb, avoid and run from our pain only to find it right there waiting for us at every turn. What if we slowed down and listened to the lessons? How much faster could we heal as a family, community and race? If you have a story of pain, I would love to hear from you. Leave a comment below or reach out at [email protected]

Are you struggling with alcohol, trying to quit, trying to hide, trying to moderate? Is alcohol good or bad, healthy or not? Let's get real about drinking, when, why and how much.Alcohol consumption increased dramatically during the pandemic and it's time to talk about it. I get honest about my own struggle to quit alcohol, heal my mind and body and take control of my life. Learn to live free from shame, blame and remorse. You can define the rules, get support and create your own future.

Our kids often need support when we are at our busiest, most exhausted and worn out. This can not only be triggering, frustrating and defeating. How do you show up for your kid, prioritize them and their needs without having your own breakdown?So often, we parent on autopilot; teaching our kids behaviors we learned from our parents. What if you could parent differently? How can we validate, connect, confirm and build trust with our kids? You don't have to be a parenting expert to do it right or even to simply do it better. Listen here for quick tips and tricks to build trust and increase emotional intelligence and awareness with your family. 

Why is post divorce so much harder than divorce? Will you ever be free from the overwhelming emotions? Post divorce overwhelm explained. Gain tips to work through the shame and blame, forgiveness (especially forgiving yourself) and setting yourself to stop repeating your old mistakes. Take your first steps toward self-love, acceptance and kindness. 

Divorce is hard enough without managing your kids emotions about your adult decisions. You can use this difficulty as an opportunity to show your kids how to behave with maturity, compassion and understanding - even if you are raging inside. Listen here for the truth about hearing your kids talk you about their anger and how to manage your own defensiveness. Parenting, divorce and life as a single-mom.

Why is it so hard for moms to support each other? You may love your friends one-on-one but avoid seeing moms in groups. Do you defend moms as a group but can't stand the lot of them?Motherhood is near impossible in this rapidly changing world. Parenting and navigating your own fears while trying to keep up with a world that is simply changing to fast is impossible. Listen here for more on this tough topic.

What if you felt safe to be honest about how you feel as a mom? What would you say? How would you feel? what if your mom had been more honest about her shortcomings?Their is power in honesty. In this podcast, we take a closer look at what honesty can do for you, your kids, your parenting and even your relationship with your own mom. 

Are you feeling filled with frustration, rage, resentment? You are not alone. Mom rage is real. Let's dig into why you feel so overwhelmed parenting, partnering and simply existing. Anger is not a dirty word. Anger is not a shameful emotion. If anger is your reality, listen here to get support, relief and connection.

A call to action for all moms single, divorced, married to remember that we are all fighting the same battle. Why is it that so many married moms stop being friends with divorced moms? I cover that and more in this podcast.How can we help each other? Being a mom is hard enough without the stigma of divorce, staying in an unhappy marriage, financial difficulty etc. We need each other. Not to make the same choices but listen and be supportive no matter what you choose.

We all can set a goal but how do we reach our goals? What is so important about getting to our goal? The difference between this version of you and the version of you who achieves your goal is more than just crossing the finish line. There is more at play, when achieving our goals, simply getting that trophy. We want to enjoy ourselves along the way. Oprah said it best when she said, "I don't believe in failure. It's not failure if you enjoyed the process."How do you get through those roadblocks? We need to understand what our true goals are and how to reach them. This episode will help you understand some of the reasons why you may have been misguided on your journey to reach your goals and how to redirect toward a more successful and fulfilled life.

Do you love New Year's Resolutions or do they make you cringe? We cover both sides of the coin. Some of us love setting up for the New Year, getting organized and feeling the adrenaline of collective goal setting. Some of us believe we know better. What even is a New Year's resolution? How do you define it? Do you use this to define your whole year or are you just trying to set some direction to your January?Dive in with me and explore all the different angels of looking at goal setting for this New Year.

Break-ups are hard enough but what if you had to continue to see and communicate with this person daily?   We can't simply walk away from our ex if we have kids.Navigating the tricky waters of divorce or separation without having a moment to process your break-up feels impossible.  How do you continue to have a relationship with some that you already decided you don't want a relationship with?! How do you stop being triggered and resentful when new challenges are being thrown at you, daily?You are not alone. Managing a relationship with your ex, while parenting, working and trying to live your life is tough. Where do you start? How do you release the old pain when you have so many other things on the to-do list? Listen here for tips, tricks and support for navigating the stormy waters of divorce and co-parenting.

I am sorry to say that tantrums aren't just for toddlers; teenagers and adults have been known to throw a fit as well. It's easy to point a finger at another parent and judge when their kiddo is throwing a tantrum but what do you do when you become that parent?Most tantrums can be avoided if we have the right strategies. Listen here for parenting tips and tricks to get you through some of these tough parenting moments.

Who hasn't felt frustration in getting kids to help with chores? This can be one of the most frustrating aspects of parenting. How do you teach them responsibility, common courtesy and respect for their surrounding? In this episode you will learn practical tips to help set expectations and get everyone working together.The household chores belong to everyone, not your responsibility, they belong to everyone. Lead them in a new direction that works better for everyone, especially you!

What kind of things do you tell yourself? Are you aware of the constant inner dialogue running on autopilot? I'll show you how to get in touch with this inner dialogue and how to change your words to change your life.

Getting through big events and holidays without getting triggered. You've got this!