All Episodes

Ep179 - I'm worthless and broken and need to hide who I am

Ep178 - About anger and the so-called angry teenager

Ep177 - Weathering the (current) storm

Episode skip 3 - I'm (almost) back and the Holidays

Episode skip 2 - A little talk about what happened and the future 06. august

Episode Skip - Sign of life and reminder for 4th of july

Ep176 - Why do I feel so lonely? (hole inside / loneliness)

Ep175 - Abuse Language (Psychological abuse)

Ep174 - Flashbacks

Ep173 - How abusers keep control over us

Ep172 - Are we bound to be victims or abusers? (Hunters, survivors, healers)

Ep171 - What does healthy relationship look like?

Ep170 - Love is not enough

Ep169 - How can I build up my support system? (Relationship)

Ep168 - When am I ready for a new (healthy) relationship?

Ep167 - How can I achieve the new me / my true self? (New Year Resolutions)

Ep166 - Why do I loose control over my emotions? (overwhelmed emotional instability)

Ep165 - Why can mental health be a problem for men? (Suicide)

Ep164 - Do I have enough time left? Is my life over? (Midlife crisis sunk cost fallacy)

Ep163 - Why do I still feel like a child and not like an adult? (Neglect Parentification)

Ep162 - Can my mind make my body sick? (Psychosomatic)

Rerecord:Ep161 - Trauma makes you (not) stronger (Post Traumatic Growth PTG)

Ep161 - Trauma makes you (not) stronger? (Post Traumatic Growth PTG)

Ep160 - Were your parents 'good parents'? (childhood abuse neglect)

Ep159 - Why do I feel so scared or anxious? (Anxiety Overwhelmed Fear)

Ep158 - Why am I tired all the time? (overwhelmed, emotional numb)

Ep157 - Scars - The things that remain and how they affects us

Ep156 - Victim blaming (But what did you do?)

Ep155 - Self confidence + self love/loving yourself (Loneliness/Lonely II)

Ep154 - Why do I feel like I am unlovable? (Lonely/loneliness)

Ep153 - Double Trauma or Macarons Trauma (Update)

Ep152 - How do I remove or cut someone from my life? (Relationship)

Ep151 - Why is so hard to leave or cut someone out? (Relationship)

Ep150 - What factors decide if a military mission could cause PTSD?

Ep149 - Why is violence not THE deciding factor? (Trauma and PTSD)

Ep148 - Why emotions are more important than facts (for healing)

Ep147 - Big Update: Support Group/Discord/Reddit, Support me, Archive, Social Media, Book

Ep146 - How is dealing with C-PTSD so much harder than PTSD? (ring trauma and ball trauma)

Ep145 - "I just want peace" (Enduring the nightmare/healing process)

Ep144 - Survivor's guilt

Ep143 - Victim and abuser - the traitors of our kind

Ep142 - Nightmares and what we can do about them

Ep141 - Greetings from the end of this year

Ep140 - Why didn't I see it earlier? (Denial/Forgiving yourself)

Ep139 - Isolation (The Trauma after the Trauma)

Ep138 - Survival is never pretty

Ep137 - Why do I need to cry so much? (and why crying is a good thing and important)

Ep136 - Why do I feel hollow?

Ep135 - How could you make okay what happened? (I don't)

Ep134 - Why is it sometimes slow and sometimes fast? (Healing wave update)

Ep133 - Why am I feeling lost during the healing process?

Ep132 - 9 Methods to counter (C-)PTSD

Ep131 - 11 Methods in case of a (C-)PTSD emergency

Ep130 - 10 Methods for dealing with (C-)PTSD in every day life

Ep129 - Maintaining Hope (even in the darkest times)

Ep128 - What to do about feeling inferior, inner voices/critic, impostor, no self confidence

Ep127 - Why do I feel so inferior? Inner voices/ Inner critic (imposter)

Ep126 - Should I commit suicide? - Part 3 - Conclusions + Sickness + Mourning

Ep125 - Should I commit suicide? - Part 2 - Internal Struggles

Ep124 - False Acccusations (Johnny Depp Amber Heard Trial)

Ep123 - Should I commit suicide? - Part 1 - External Struggles

Ep122 - But I am totally fine (what does mentally unwell/sick really look like?) (Basics) - Part2

Ep121 - But I am totally fine (what does mentally unwell/sick really look like?) (Basics) - Part1

Ep120 - Am I moving forward or am I stuck?

Ep119 - Intermission: Dealing with hopelessness, helplessness, despair, suffering and anger (Ukraine Conflict)

Ep118 - You just do (not) get over something like that II - Dismantling

Ep117 - You just do (not) get over something like that

Ep116 - New years resolutions or how to make change last

Ep115 - Lagging behind others (Shame)

Ep114 - A letter for Christmas (with a side note about struggling)

Ep113 - Starting point tutorial for loss (Trigger core)

Ep112 - How your living environment affects you (Shame)

Ep111 - Finding yourself at the bottom again (Shame update)

Ep110 - Why is feeling nothing not a good thing? (Trauma update)

Ep109 - What should a good therapy look like to get rid of C-PTSD?

Ep108 - What is the problem and how should it be? (Therapeutic Abuse Update)

Ep107 - Why some reactions are not triggers but Trauma behavior (Trigger update)

Ep106 - If that caused my PTSD why don't I feel strongly about it? (Trauma update)

Ep105 - Method exaplained: Introspection (used by EMDR)

Ep104 - Was it all for nothing?

Ep103 - Why can't I just be normal again?

Ep102 - ... and bad people do good things

Ep101 - Good people do bad things...

Ep100 - Let me reintroduce myself

Ep99 - Dealing with bad days

Ep98 - Why do people think (C)-PTSD can't be cured?

Ep97 - When is it one trauma and when two or more? (Trauma update)

Ep96 - Dealing with loss through suicide

Ep95 - When does a Trauma (not) become PTSD?

Ep94 - What shapes a trauma (core) ? (Trauma update)

Ep93 - 2 different kind of triggers (update triggers)

Ep92 - PTSD from hidden to cured - where is the difference and how do I know?

Ep91 - Why are the categories (stages) important?

Ep90 - Sleeper trauma, Cluster trauma and Sea Urchin (Trauma update)

Ep89 - Is there a difference military and civilian trauma?

Ep88 - Episode skip - Why you shouldn't ignore colds

Ep87 - Why do I end up in bad relationships? (Sabotage II)

Ep86 - Why do I sabotage myself?

Ep85 - Episode skip - A little cold

Ep84 - Why did I make it? (Survivor's guilt)

Ep83 - How do I remain myself after my world cumbles?

Ep82 - Why do people believe lies despite evidence?

Ep81 - Why PTSD as a spectrum is a big problem

Ep80 - You are not alone (between the years inter-mid)

Ep79 - How can I be more empathic with myself?

Ep78 - Why does it feel like I am faking it?

Ep77 - Why is it so hard at the beginning?

Ep76 - Was I tortured?

Ep75 - Are you healed yet?

Ep74 - Raised to be a victim

Ep73 - Episode skip - Health reasons

Ep72 - Why can’t I change my emotions with logic?

Ep71 - 2 potential big problems with support groups

Ep70 - Why am I getting so much backlash?

Ep69 - What kind of life is worth living?

Ep68 - Episode skip dog (II)

Ep67 - Subconsciousness - the key to everything

Ep66 - Got my Diagnosis - Now what? (First steps)

Ep65 - Can I pause life for a bit?

Ep64 - Episode skip - Loss of family member

Ep63 - Forgiving isn't necessary

Ep62 - PTSD breakout

Ep61 - I just can't talk really to anyone

Ep60 - The phases of recovery wave (trigger, trauma, etc)

Ep59 - The phases of the healing wave

Ep58 - Everything is too much (Overwhelmed)

Ep57 - Will this nightmare ever end?

Ep56 - Living with your decision (Guilt)

Ep55 - Episode skip - My dog will be put down

Ep54 - Why do I feel worse, when I am getting better?

Ep53 - Change - Difficult and Necessary

Ep52 - Ring and Ball Trauma (Trauma Update)

Ep51 - Sleeper Trauma (Trauma Update)

Ep50 - The up and downs of healing

Ep49 - Therapeutic Abuse - 5 No-go Practices

Ep48 - Injustice - Dealing with the emotions

Ep47 - Injustice - A (very) good reason to be angry... or sad

Ep46 - A few seconds away from death ("Suicide")

Ep45 - Helplessness - The cause for Depression

Ep44 - Fight or Flight or Freeze – The mechanism of triggers

Ep43 - Coronavirus skipping Episode (II)

Ep42 - My Corona COVID-19 Story

Ep41 - Coronavirus skipping Episode

Ep40 - Am I still me?

Ep39 - (Dealing with) The monster inside of you

Ep38 - The void within you

Ep37- Denial - It DID happen right?!

Ep36 - Silence (II) - Don't say a word

Ep35 - Silence (I) - Break the Silence/Taboo

Ep34 - Could I have a trauma?

Ep33 - Could I have Depression?

Ep32 - Why breaks are important

Ep31 - Rewrite your brain (change yourself)

Ep30 - How to plan the healing process

Ep29 - A light in the darkness (Be your own support)

Ep28 - Manipulation: Am I wrong or are they? (III)

Ep27 - Why does change happen so slowly?

Ep26 - Could I have (C)PTSD?

Ep25 - Manipulation - Guilt tripping - You have the right to say no (II)

Ep24 - I believe in you

Ep23 - Manipulation - Language - It is (NOT) your fault (I)

Ep22 - Hallucinations/Visions (II) - The harmful side

Ep21- Hallucinations/Visions (I) - The useful side

Ep20 - Shame (III) - Shame of your behavior and what happened to you

Ep19 - Shame (II) - Shame caused by the reactions of others

Ep18 - Shame (I)

Ep17 - Overcoming darkness and signs of healing

Ep16 - Why your brain NEEDS to understand trauma

Ep15 - PTSD therapy methods and abuse II

Ep14 - PTSD therapy methods and abuse I

Ep13 - Communicating PTSD with family, etc. II

Ep12 - Communicating PTSD with family, etc. I

Ep11 - How to deal with: Too many choices/lost in the dark/overwhelming

Ep10 - The plan of my therapy (podcast)

Ep09 - How to hunt down tiggers

Ep08 - How to remove Triggers II

Ep07 - How to remove Triggers I

Ep06 - Why triggers are helpful

Ep05 - (Daily) Counter Measures

Ep04 - In case of an emergency

Ep03 - Trauma

Ep02 - PTSD and it's symptoms

Ep01 - Introduction