Unprocessed

This week I unpack the different texture of my relationship to discipline--an empowered commitment to my goals--and compulsion--an automatic behavior to alleviate anxiety. I share about how you can tell what your intention is by listening to the tone of voice in your head (hint: self-criticism and compulsion go hand in hand) and how to unearth what your compulsions are hiding. Whether its related to work, food, exercise, etc, this is one that has the potential to bring you some more peace with the way you are. This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional mental health treatment, diagnosis, or therapy. Listening to this podcast does not establish a therapist-client relationship.The views and opinions expressed are based on my lived personal and professional experience but are general in nature. Individual situations vary, and listeners are encouraged to seek appropriate professional support for their specific needs.By listening to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are responsible for your own mental health decisions and actions. I am not responsible for any outcomes resulting from the use or misuse of information discussed on this podcast.The content of this podcast should not be relied upon as personalized mental health advice, crisis support, or a treatment plan. If you are experiencing distress or a mental health emergency, please contact a licensed mental health professional, local emergency services, or a crisis hotline in your area.

In this week's episode I talk about the pressure many of us feel to be a knower and my urge to cover up something I didn't know. I explore why I believe humans do this, how it relates to both identity, social cache and risking belonging, and my surprising finding that I trust people who admit that they don't know more than I do ones who always know. Could confidence be revealed in what we admit we are lost about, rather than in certainty? This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional mental health treatment, diagnosis, or therapy. Listening to this podcast does not establish a therapist-client relationship.The views and opinions expressed are based on my lived personal and professional experience but are general in nature. Individual situations vary, and listeners are encouraged to seek appropriate professional support for their specific needs.By listening to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are responsible for your own mental health decisions and actions. I am not responsible for any outcomes resulting from the use or misuse of information discussed on this podcast.The content of this podcast should not be relied upon as personalized mental health advice, crisis support, or a treatment plan. If you are experiencing distress or a mental health emergency, please contact a licensed mental health professional, local emergency services, or a crisis hotline in your area.

This episode I talk about facing my denial, why I haven't and explain from a trauma-informed perspective how we compartmentalize some of our truths in order to exist, how this helps and also how it harms. I welcome the time it takes to move through pain, knowing it will take time, but not letting myself believe that this is a bad thing in a culture that prompts me to move fast. We'll get there, we'll get to the truth together, exhale.This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional mental health treatment, diagnosis, or therapy. Listening to this podcast does not establish a therapist-client relationship.The views and opinions expressed are based on my lived personal and professional experience but are general in nature. Individual situations vary, and listeners are encouraged to seek appropriate professional support for their specific needs.By listening to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are responsible for your own mental health decisions and actions. I am not responsible for any outcomes resulting from the use or misuse of information discussed on this podcast.The content of this podcast should not be relied upon as personalized mental health advice, crisis support, or a treatment plan. If you are experiencing distress or a mental health emergency, please contact a licensed mental health professional, local emergency services, or a crisis hotline in your area.

Every happiness report names connection as a healing agent, memes taut the promise of connected relationships, and yet people report a high level of isolation right now. In this episode, I share the interpersonal reasons why we don’t get the connection we want, what makes it so hard, and the uncommon ways I’ve addressed receiving and claiming connection in my own life.This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional mental health treatment, diagnosis, or therapy. Listening to this podcast does not establish a therapist-client relationship.The views and opinions expressed are based on my lived personal and professional experience but are general in nature. Individual situations vary, and listeners are encouraged to seek appropriate professional support for their specific needs.By listening to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are responsible for your own mental health decisions and actions. I am not responsible for any outcomes resulting from the use or misuse of information discussed on this podcast.The content of this podcast should not be relied upon as personalized mental health advice, crisis support, or a treatment plan. If you are experiencing distress or a mental health emergency, please contact a licensed mental health professional, local emergency services, or a crisis hotline in your area.

In this week’s episode I share about a decision not to confront someone who hurt me. I explore the question, how do you decide when to address with the source and when to heal on your own?This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional mental health treatment, diagnosis, or therapy. Listening to this podcast does not establish a therapist-client relationship.The views and opinions expressed are based on my lived personal and professional experience but are general in nature. Individual situations vary, and listeners are encouraged to seek appropriate professional support for their specific needs.By listening to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are responsible for your own mental health decisions and actions. I am not responsible for any outcomes resulting from the use or misuse of information discussed on this podcast.The content of this podcast should not be relied upon as personalized mental health advice, crisis support, or a treatment plan. If you are experiencing distress or a mental health emergency, please contact a licensed mental health professional, local emergency services, or a crisis hotline in your area.

In this episode I explore the difficult dual reality of caring for someone deeply even though you don't feel secure with them. I share about how I approached a relationship I was drawn to, but every time I left, ruminated on the conversation, questioned myself, and questioned them, and what I decided to do about it. I also explore why this love/don't trust dynamic might be appealing based on early relational experiences. This one is not to be missed! This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional mental health treatment, diagnosis, or therapy. Listening to this podcast does not establish a therapist-client relationship.The views and opinions expressed are based on my lived personal and professional experience but are general in nature. Individual situations vary, and listeners are encouraged to seek appropriate professional support for their specific needs.By listening to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are responsible for your own mental health decisions and actions. I am not responsible for any outcomes resulting from the use or misuse of information discussed on this podcast.The content of this podcast should not be relied upon as personalized mental health advice, crisis support, or a treatment plan. If you are experiencing distress or a mental health emergency, please contact a licensed mental health professional, local emergency services, or a crisis hotline in your area.

In this episode I explore what I believe all the parenting advice is doing to us--it's making us feel like we should be implementing interventions constantly. It also is hinged on the belief that we should do these things so our kids don't become bad people. This is preventing us from delighting, from putting ourselves first, from feeling peace. Listen in to learn about how I am approaching parenting right now and how I analyze this sociocultural moment as a nurturer. This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional mental health treatment, diagnosis, or therapy. Listening to this podcast does not establish a therapist-client relationship.The views and opinions expressed are based on my lived personal and professional experience but are general in nature. Individual situations vary, and listeners are encouraged to seek appropriate professional support for their specific needs.By listening to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are responsible for your own mental health decisions and actions. I am not responsible for any outcomes resulting from the use or misuse of information discussed on this podcast.The content of this podcast should not be relied upon as personalized mental health advice, crisis support, or a treatment plan. If you are experiencing distress or a mental health emergency, please contact a licensed mental health professional, local emergency services, or a crisis hotline in your area.

I talk about a recent time when I felt irked, and what I learned about what is underneath. Irritability is rarely just "being annoyed," and can be an indicator of an unmet need, unexpressed genuine anger, or a deeper sadness. Listen in to learn about how I discovered what was under mine.This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional mental health treatment, diagnosis, or therapy. Listening to this podcast does not establish a therapist-client relationship.The views and opinions expressed are based on my lived personal and professional experience but are general in nature. Individual situations vary, and listeners are encouraged to seek appropriate professional support for their specific needs.By listening to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are responsible for your own mental health decisions and actions. I am not responsible for any outcomes resulting from the use or misuse of information discussed on this podcast.The content of this podcast should not be relied upon as personalized mental health advice, crisis support, or a treatment plan. If you are experiencing distress or a mental health emergency, please contact a licensed mental health professional, local emergency services, or a crisis hotline in your area.

A therapist wrote in a Facebook group "I don't want to be a therapist anymore" and hundreds commented basically saying #metoo. In this episode, I reveal what it's like to be healing from the collective pain that I am supporting others in living better through, and in the end break down--revealing not only the "what" it's like to be in a hard moment, but the "how" it feels. If you want to give yourself permission to stop holding all together, this one's for you. This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional mental health treatment, diagnosis, or therapy. Listening to this podcast does not establish a therapist-client relationship.The views and opinions expressed are based on my lived personal and professional experience but are general in nature. Individual situations vary, and listeners are encouraged to seek appropriate professional support for their specific needs.By listening to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are responsible for your own mental health decisions and actions. I am not responsible for any outcomes resulting from the use or misuse of information discussed on this podcast.The content of this podcast should not be relied upon as personalized mental health advice, crisis support, or a treatment plan. If you are experiencing distress or a mental health emergency, please contact a licensed mental health professional, local emergency services, or a crisis hotline in your area.

I talk about how being admired was a place I used to hide to feel safe and how I came to the realization that admiration was actually an unsafe place for me because it kept me isolated. Many of us don't want to reveal our flaws because we worry they will compromise our connections--but what can we say about connections that don't include our true, varied, flawed selves. Listen in to explore how I came to believe I can have issues and also be deserving of love and how critique actually became my love language because it showed me someone was willing to see me fully and care about me enough to tell me what they saw. This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional mental health treatment, diagnosis, or therapy. Listening to this podcast does not establish a therapist-client relationship.The views and opinions expressed are based on my lived personal and professional experience but are general in nature. Individual situations vary, and listeners are encouraged to seek appropriate professional support for their specific needs.By listening to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are responsible for your own mental health decisions and actions. I am not responsible for any outcomes resulting from the use or misuse of information discussed on this podcast.The content of this podcast should not be relied upon as personalized mental health advice, crisis support, or a treatment plan. If you are experiencing distress or a mental health emergency, please contact a licensed mental health professional, local emergency services, or a crisis hotline in your area.

Living with the irreconcilable means living in discord. It means staying with someone you love but don't trust. Or choosing one life but longing for another. In my case, it means loving travel and choosing to travel internationally with 3 small children: I choose both the adventure and the sleeplessness. In this week's episode, I share about the psychological process of splitting, where we separate the good from the bad so we can join with the good, instead of seeing the whole picture. Living with the irreconcilable means giving up the goal for a solution. It means asking yourself: can I hold both sides?This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional mental health treatment, diagnosis, or therapy. Listening to this podcast does not establish a therapist-client relationship.The views and opinions expressed are based on my lived personal and professional experience but are general in nature. Individual situations vary, and listeners are encouraged to seek appropriate professional support for their specific needs.By listening to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are responsible for your own mental health decisions and actions. I am not responsible for any outcomes resulting from the use or misuse of information discussed on this podcast.The content of this podcast should not be relied upon as personalized mental health advice, crisis support, or a treatment plan. If you are experiencing distress or a mental health emergency, please contact a licensed mental health professional, local emergency services, or a crisis hotline in your area.

In this week’s episode, I reflect with my friend and mother of 5, Vanessa Cornell, on what it is like to age in a culture that doesn’t want us to. I talk about this moment in my life, as I get closer to 40, and reflect on the messages I’ve gotten about what is beautiful, pretty privilege, the problems with body positivity, living in a culture that treats every hormonal shift as a problem that has to be solved, and what the research shows about women’s feelings when they are older and no longer being scrutinized and evaluated. This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional mental health treatment, diagnosis, or therapy. Listening to this podcast does not establish a therapist-client relationship.The views and opinions expressed are based on my lived personal and professional experience but are general in nature. Individual situations vary, and listeners are encouraged to seek appropriate professional support for their specific needs.By listening to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are responsible for your own mental health decisions and actions. I am not responsible for any outcomes resulting from the use or misuse of information discussed on this podcast.The content of this podcast should not be relied upon as personalized mental health advice, crisis support, or a treatment plan. If you are experiencing distress or a mental health emergency, please contact a licensed mental health professional, local emergency services, or a crisis hotline in your area.

Those of us who have been rewarded for getting it right, often have a hidden side that wants to fuck shit up. What do we do with this side, amidst our responsibilities and morals? In this week's episode, I explore the psychology of the eldest daughter's plight and a conversation I had with my 7 year old about how to decide which side to let drive. This is for all the rule followers who are intrigued, but afraid, of breaking. This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional mental health treatment, diagnosis, or therapy. Listening to this podcast does not establish a therapist-client relationship.The views and opinions expressed are based on my lived personal and professional experience but are general in nature. Individual situations vary, and listeners are encouraged to seek appropriate professional support for their specific needs.By listening to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are responsible for your own mental health decisions and actions. I am not responsible for any outcomes resulting from the use or misuse of information discussed on this podcast.The content of this podcast should not be relied upon as personalized mental health advice, crisis support, or a treatment plan. If you are experiencing distress or a mental health emergency, please contact a licensed mental health professional, local emergency services, or a crisis hotline in your area.

In this week's episode I talk about how joyless it can feel to try to be the person you want to be. That the reward you get comes later, not in the immediate aftermath. How exhausting it can be to practice restraint when you want to scream, and how triggering restraining can be for those of us who have over functioned and done it our whole lives. This episode is a big exhale for anyone who has held more than their share and is tired, but has to keep going. Disclaimer:This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional mental health treatment, diagnosis, or therapy. Listening to this podcast does not establish a therapist-client relationship.The views and opinions expressed are based on my lived personal and professional experience but are general in nature. Individual situations vary, and listeners are encouraged to seek appropriate professional support for their specific needs.By listening to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are responsible for your own mental health decisions and actions. I am not responsible for any outcomes resulting from the use or misuse of information discussed on this podcast.The content of this podcast should not be relied upon as personalized mental health advice, crisis support, or a treatment plan. If you are experiencing distress or a mental health emergency, please contact a licensed mental health professional, local emergency services, or a crisis hotline in your area.

In this week's episode, I talk about how sometimes when we feel more, it can make us question our healing. I share about how when I feel more anger, I realize that feeling "worse" is actually getting me closer to my truth. Many of us confuse anxiety relief with feeling "good," but it's not emotional freedom. Listen in as I differentiate between feeling "right" versus "good," and my reflection on a culture that is telling us all pain needs to be fixed, not felt. 

We are living in the time when many people are revealing vulnerable things, but not in a vulnerable way. It's not only what we say but how we say it that is the true reveal. I talk about how I've wordsmithed, in order to share what is sort of true, but not the heart of what is true. In Lily King's book she says "The truth has nothing to do with the facts." Are you living in truth or in fact? Listen in to learn about the difference between listening with our ears versus our hearts, revealing with our words versus our bodies. 

When we have to skip certain developmental experiences as children, we may try to have that experience in adulthood. I share about the fun I didn't have and how that shows up in my present life. In this episode I explore, both the necessity of and potential parameters needed in order to get to fuck up, without fucking up our lives. I get into how questioning your life choices may be evidence, not that the choice is wrong, but that it cannot make up for what you didn't experience. This is for you if you have regret, you regress to childlike thinking "I am done", "I don't want to express my needs", "they should know", "my life was tough so now I get to be the tough one", or you fantasize about the lives you didn't choose to live. 

In the final episode of 2025, I explore how there is no one size fits all method for healing--for some of us it's staying in the relationship longer, for others its leaving more quickly. I share about a pretty story I put on a pain point, so I didn't have to face it, and how this increased my suffering and my stuckness. Listen in, to begin to own the ways that you are wanting to be rescued, when really you need to rescue yourself.

I talk about an interaction with my therapist where she anticipates something hard is going to happen between us, and how soothed I felt knowing that it will, rather than being surprised by it when it does. In this episode, I talk about how we try protecting others from the truth and protecting ourselves from it (by saying "me too," when we don't actually feel that way), and what I am learning about leaning into what's hard. 

You've heard me say that feeling goes against doing. When I feel grief, I want to do more. I want to tend to others grief instead of sit in my own. This week, following the death of relative, I noticed this pattern and did something different: this is called opposite action. I explore why it's so hard to say "can you help me?" and how being a "helper," hides the part of us that needs helping. 

We feel frustration when we are stuck, but in this episode, I share about my stuckness in a big life decision and what I learned about how to move through stuckness without force. It starts with getting to know the two opposing energies: stalling and forward moving, and then looking at the bigger fear under the fear you think you have about change. 

This episode is about loneliness and how those of us who give connection to others, can find ourselves in moments when we feel disconnected from ourselves. I share about how I sometimes hide my greatest wounds under my strengths and instead in this episode reveal the part of the wound I am ready to share, so I can reconnect to it.

We are learning from data that men, at large, are struggling in the US--feeling more isolated, removed, depressed and disconnected. In this episode, I unpack some of the reasons why, and how women sometimes weaponize their hurt around male unavailability by talking about men as if they are useless--the trope of the buffoon husband who can't make his way around the home. Instead, I revisit the pledge for presence--inviting men in, letting the people in my life know how much their presence matters to me and how wanted they are. I also talk about what this means for women's anger--as many of you have been waiting a long time for men to show up emotionally. 

In this week's episode, I share about a recent interaction with someone I love where I felt angry and had a split second to decide what I wanted to do with that anger. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy offers three intentions for communication: objective effectiveness (getting your need met, so you have to appeal to the other person), relationship effectiveness (maintaining the connection), and self-respect effectiveness (speaking about what's important to you, with less concern about how the other receives it. I walked you through how I picked my strategy, why I picked it, and how I shifted from feeling like I was "restraining" myself to feeling a "release" as I relinquished control of what this other person thought about me. 

This week I talk about how no high is for free, but why so many of us are willing to pay the price of something that harms us with something that takes the edge off for us. James Baldwin said that many of us want to be "relieved of an affliction" but we don't want to give up a crutch. Tune in to learn about how choosing control prevents us from wielding our true power, and what we have in common with trees that can help liberate us from the the things that keep us safe, but prevent us from feeling free.

I share about a time when anxiety was actually distracting from my grief. Therapist Sheryl Paul taught me "the noise in our brain distracts from the pain in our hearts." While anxiety is a very sentient experience, it actually works to conceal the bigger, juicier, often heavier emotions underneath. In this episode I share my perspective on developing long-term, unrushed, relationships with my wounds. Letting them know, we've got time. And instead of trying to rush their healing, just being honest with others about them being unhealed. 

There I said it. I own that I expect presence in my relationships and this is a tall order in 2025--with so much distraction and things to pay attention to. Listen in to hear about the difference between healthy expectations and ones that weigh a relationship down, why we gossip and how it fills a gap when presence is too hard, and why I believe we need to demand presence from the people in our lives and from ourselves. 

In this episode, I share about a time when I lost my sense of wonder. Overly responsible children tend to become overly responsible adults, and these adults have a hard time being comfortable with the fluidity and chaos that comes with wonder. Listen in to hear how getting lost, giving up attachment to reassurance, learning what's really underneath striving, and more helped me find my way back to my childlike spirit. 

Do visionaries have any fun? I notice those of us that curate amazing experiences for others, sometimes have the LEAST fun. We give away the thing we need and we are afraid to own we expect something in return. In this episode I share about my struggle not with saying the hard things, but letting people into HOW I feel while I say the hard thing. Why don't we want people to hear the cracks in our voice, see us gulp, admit we want an affirmation? Listen in to learn about what we can glean from the Pratfall Effect--research shows us that we can be MORE likeable when we expose our blunders. 

In this episode I share about an interaction I had with a friend, when I started to question if I did something wrong because of a shift in her affect that I observed at dinner. I unpack this interaction by describing why we are hypervigilant to others and reference Meg Josephson's, LCSW, new best-selling book "Are You Mad at Me?" to help us understand where this question comes from. You will learn about why asking this question enables us to leave ourselves, and instead, how to stay close to ourselves and tolerate the uncertainty of life better. 

This week I share about my desire to teach someone a lesson when I felt wrong. I unpack why we go into teacher mode when we are hurt or disrespected, and how this actually harms connection rather than fosters it. As humans, we often try to use our heads to solve problems of the heart, and then we wonder why our kids/friends/partners don't hear us--we are speaking with cognition, when others are in a realm of emotion. Listen in to hear how I did the thing I didn't want to do (reveal my heart, because it made me feel like I was giving up more power) and how it ultimately got me what I wanted: heard and more connected.

In this episode, I share about a time someone walked away from me because they didn’t want to see me, and I pursued this person, even with their back turned to me. I unpack what was happening for me, and explore the reasons why we knock on closed doors even when they continue not to open for us.

This week I explore the times I've said "I can make this work," as a way to avoid the inner knowing that something isn't working, that I don't like what I am doing, or who I am spending time with. I dig into the psychological reasons why women try to make it work and my process of digging into what's underneath it with definiteness and discernment.

It's a topic that we don't want to talk about, but sometimes our needs for our friends, our longings and our fears that get kicked up in friendship, reveal unmet needs we have for our mother. In this episode I unpack how the mother wound might show up in women's friendships (unrealistic expectations, unclear needs, advice giving, feelings of abandonment, etc) and how totally ok this is.I also share how to navigate this in a way that makes the friendship closer, not that kills it (which often happens when the mother wound isn't made explicit).

This week, I invite my 7 year old daughter on the podcast to talk about our relationship with mistakes. She shares about how she disliked her mistakes and what she did to shift that. I share about how I learned to hide my mistakes to secure belonging (an important fear-driven behavior that perfectionists take, as well as people who have marginalized identities), and how this podcast has helped me expose and celebrate them. Also, we add ways well meaning caregivers try to convince their kids their mistakes aren't real, rather than leaning into the fact that we all make mistakes, we shouldn't stop--but we can honor them together. 

In this episode I trace the path of the needless person in relationships--she comes across as if she's down with anything, gets angry along the way, and then buries her needs through partner critique, and creates the scenario of her biggest fear realized: she will be a burden. In reality, it's not her needs that are a burden to the other, it's that they are a burden to herself. Listen in as I share how I rooted myself in my needs, a visualization of a firmly planted oak tree with flexible branches, and how me owning my needs inspired my partner to own his.

I don't want to record a podcast this week and it got me thinking about what do we do when we are not in the mood? Why do we really procrastinate (hint: we don't procrastinate tasks, we procrastinate feelings that those texts bring up). In this week's podcast, I talk about sharing one true thing and getting to know the variations in my "I don't want tos." I don't want to talk about this, but I will. I also throw out the idea of being our best selves and replace it with an invitation to be our mediocre selves. Will you join me there? 

I wandered through a farmers market and started to question if I should live a life like this. In this episode, I talk about how many of us tell ourselves what we want is the thing (the body, the house, the relationship, the job title), but what we really want is the wanting itself: to feel connected to the sense of possibility that the wanting provides. Listen in to hear about how I've shifted my relationship to wanting (Hint, it's being willing to have what I have) and the finding out that wanting is always different than having. 

What happens when we hold a mirror up to one another and don't like the reflection? My husband and I get into how we've learned to express shame and anger in a way that fosters connection instead of ruptures it. We learned that perfectionism is just trying to prevent us from feeling shame, but what do we do when shame and anger are present and hot, prompting us to lash out, shut down, or run away? We get into the things we feel shame about--finances, sexual attractions, grey hair. Listen in this week, we really "go there."

In this episode, my husband joins me to discuss how we fought in the past and how we fight differently now. This is one of the best episodes yet--I use my lens as a couples therapist to get real about how we remain disconnected, when we really want to be close, and what I had to do to get the intimacy that I so craved. Hint: It had a lot to do with how I was showing up, even though I wanted to blame him. 

Esther Perel says in every relationship, there's someone who is more afraid of losing themselves and someone who is more afraid of losing the relationship. In this episode, I share about how I went from being the person afraid of being alone to the person who is more afraid of not being myself. I explore the fear of being alone and why we busy ourselves to avoid it, along with how we sneakily avoid our pain points by placing them in our parents and friends. I offer up a way to come back home to yourself.

There I said it, Sometimes choosing health is the boring thing to do. My biggest fear was settling and not living the biggest juiciest life. And yet, what if our biggest fear is what we need?Listen in as I talk about data on choice, why we shouldn’t strive to not be triggered, and differentiate between complacency and contentment.

Many times we tell ourselves we are "torn," to avoid having to sit with the fear of making the decision we know we need to make. I share about a difficult choice point in my life, how I went toward my fear, and explore we want to know WHY before we take the leap. I also share a song that helped me lean into the sorrow, without the why, and share some of that sorrow with all of you. Disclaimer:This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional mental health treatment, diagnosis, or therapy. Listening to this podcast does not establish a therapist-client relationship.The views and opinions expressed are based on my lived personal and professional experience but are general in nature. Individual situations vary, and listeners are encouraged to seek appropriate professional support for their specific needs.By listening to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are responsible for your own mental health decisions and actions. I am not responsible for any outcomes resulting from the use or misuse of information discussed on this podcast.The content of this podcast should not be relied upon as personalized mental health advice, crisis support, or a treatment plan. If you are experiencing distress or a mental health emergency, please contact a licensed mental health professional, local emergency services, or a crisis hotline in your area.

We choose what's familiar, not what is best for us. We enact dynamics that remind us of childhood and the emotions that we felt the most, not the ones we want to feel. Listen is as I talk about my compulsivity toward drama and high intensity experiences and what data is saying about the relationship between the increase in anxiety and the decrease in the willingness to fuck up.

Why do women, including myself in the past, hate their bellies no matter the size? As a therapist of nearly a decade, I have noticed it's the number 1 body part women wish was different. This episode is about what ancient wisdom and feminist psychotherapy says about the belly and what is so scary about "trusting our guts." I share about my journey toward being tender to this space in a culture that has told me to hate it (if I rage against myself then I will not rage against the system that makes me dislike myself).

I wanted to be seen, but I didn't want people to know about the wanting. What is it about revealing effort and desperation that feels so wrong? Come join me as I explore the underpinnings of human desperation, the desire to be seen, and how we play peekaboo as adults--showing the parts of ourselves that actually conceal the parts that we wish others would see. 

I didn't prioritize baking the pie. I don't have space for friendship. I can't mother you, but I really wish I could. Are all the radical truths I have been telling as I attempt to align what I am thinking, with what I am feeling, saying and doing. Listen in to learn how I shifted my goal from being liked to being respected, why it's so hard to be truthful, and a new way of looking at boundaries: an invitation and a meeting place. 

In this episode, I explore my mixed feelings about the statement "relationships are hard," In that this message is often served to people who are already doing more than their share in relationships, and it justifies their labor. What's the line between experiencing challenges and feeling like you're constantly on an uphill climb? I talk about what I do in relationships(that I hear many of my clients do, too)that have made my romantic relationships hard, and where this comes from for me. 

I rather eat the couscous off the floor than own the desire to eat couscous at the beginning of the meal. This episode is about the denial of satiety, the feeling that comes with having a need fully met. I explore why fullness is triggering, and how our relationship with being fully fed plays out on our relationship with food.How does the food we eat/not eat become SO powerful? How does restricting our needs help us to feel less deprivation and why is having a full cup sometimes more painful then having an empty one? Listen in to look at the science of how our punishment and reward systems get wired on food and how to differentiate between our cravings and our desires. Sit with me while I sit with the question: How gratuitous can I let myself be? How big can I let my hunger be? 

This episode is about the relationship between control and rage. I share about how I took up late night Swiffering when I wanted to contain the mess, when I really needed to get messier instead. Constriction feels safest when it’s the norm. How can your body experience freedom and unleash, when that’s so unfamiliar to it?